The Persuaders (1971) s01e04 Episode Script

It's cold in here, close the window.
Signóra.
Ashtray.
Over there.
- You know him? - Mm-hm, Gino Franco.
THE Gino Franco? He's not a celebrity, just a gangster.
- But he is important.
- WAS important.
- Call the morgue.
- Si, si.
Your husband I was with a man, Gino came here.
He didn't have a gun, my friend did.
This man, what is his name? Gino's associates take revenge very seriously.
They will find and kill him.
They also punish unfaithful wives.
Your friend's name.
His name is Rocco.
Frank Rocco.
Rocco.
I want an alert out for Frank Rocco.
American citizen, resident in Rome.
Check Aliens Bureau, Records Bonjour.
- Hi! - Oh, hello.
I did ring.
Here, hold this.
You probably didn't hear over the music.
- Sorry?! - I said Why don't you switch that off?! I'll switch that thing off! Now, let's start again.
- Hi.
- Hi, and hello.
Mmm Nice.
You're five minutes fast.
Good bones.
And the mouth is beautiful.
And look at that nose.
Now, that nose really turns me on.
Well, turn yourself off and I'll say something nice about you.
Please do.
Pay me compliments and flatter me outrageously.
I'll do anything if you tell me I'm lovely.
Playing hard to get? What's your name? - I'm Sid.
- It has a nice feminine sound.
Short for Sidonie.
Do you want to shake hands or kiss? Well, I like to stick to conventions, have a brief courtship first.
- How long? - 10, 15 minutes.
- I hate long engagements.
- Does this mean we are? You may kiss me.
The kissing bandit strikes again! - It's one of those days.
- I can't let you out.
- Hi.
- Hi, kiddo.
- It worked! - What? I paid a witchdoctor to turn you into a toad.
- It was worth every cent.
- His brain transplant didn't work.
Sid, you've got a panel truck, haven't you? - Yeah.
- Could I borrow it? - Because why? - Because I need your truck.
You love me for my truck? Is our engagement off? Certainly not! And that's something you should both know - I'm fickle.
There's some pictures upstairs.
You'll love 'em.
Brett! You got my message? That's a damn silly question or you wouldn't be here.
What's the interest in photography - or is it Sid? We needed a safe place.
Meet Manny Howard, with the American Embassy - Not in this capacity, Judge.
- Of course.
Our meeting is strictly off the record.
Oh, and this is Frank Rocco.
I'm sure you've heard of him.
Oh, yes, I read the crime pages avidly.
Wait a minute, I'm a businessman.
Yes, protection business? The American Treasury Department have him on a tax evasion charge.
- Five to ten years.
- Seems very reasonable.
- But they can't touch him here.
- So what's his problem? I shot a guy, that's my problem.
Someone in the same line of work.
Now every punk's trying to put the button on me.
And the Italian police.
I hope your insurance is paid up.
Look, this is my insurance.
Enough information to nail the top operators.
In return for that information, Mr Howard's people will reduce Mr Rocco's charges and ship him home.
Like I said, I'm a businessman.
Brett with what he knows they could indict the man at the top.
- While he gets away scot-free.
- Perhaps.
But a lot of other people won't.
It could be a big breakthrough against organised crime in America.
I'd like you to help, Brett, but of course the decision is yours.
Voila.
- Does it go? - Go?! - I can get up to 40 mph with this! - You're kidding? Did you Did you actually buy this? No, I swapped it for my previous vehicle.
- What was that? A kiddie-cart? - Very funny.
Come on, get in.
Well, uh, yeah, but I don't wanna be personal but - You don't like lady drivers.
- Well, that's not what I said.
No, I said it for you.
Oh, the, uh, the I have absolute positive identification.
The cab driver? He went through the pictures and picked out Rocco immediately.
- Ahh! And he drove him here? - Less than an hour ago.
Then the chances are he's still in that section.
- What do you want me to do? - Get Rocco over the frontier.
- Is that all? - Once he's out of Italy we'll be OK.
Truck's coming out.
- Is Danny in on this? - Yes.
- And the girl? - No, she knows nothing about Rocco.
- Hmm.
Well, what about details? - Danny has those.
Our immediate problem is to get him past those roadblocks.
You wouldn't believe the way this girl drives.
On the sidewalk! - Are you all set? - All set.
Well, as they say in Italian Westerns, andiamo.
- Is His Lordship coming? - Yes.
Never send a boy to do a man's work.
You understand you are strictly on your own on this? We mustn't involve the American Embassy.
- They may take your passport away.
- Here, drink this.
Good luck.
Come on, Rocco.
Get inside.
They'll probably take a quick look, if they spot him we'll make a break.
- Brilliant.
- You follow in the car.
- Si.
- OK, pal, inside.
This is where you're gonna stay.
- I'm not getting in there! - We didn't have time to clean it.
- Come on.
- Get in.
Do as you're told.
Thank you.
Move your legs in there.
That's right.
Now, be as quiet as a mouse.
That's fine, Danny.
Come on.
- I can't breathe! - Play dead or you will be.
I've marked where we meet if anything goes wrong.
- Juliet? - Yes? - Goodbye.
- Mm! - Can we all join in? - Oh, sorry.
- I like it, I like it.
- Remember where we stopped.
- Stay close.
- I may never leave.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Me too.
- You're not coming, Sid.
Forget it.
Look, beautiful I may be but dumb I am not.
You've got Frank Rocco in there.
What are you talking about? This is a hot story.
Smuggling a wanted criminal out of the country? With pictures! Sidonie, you're not coming.
I'll blow the whistle on you.
- OK, your way.
- Good.
Cool it, Frank.
Here come de fuzz.
Don't look so serious.
Si, si.
Grazie.
Ciao.
Bye.
Scusi? Open? Open? Scusi, uh, fotografica.
Take pictures.
Click-click? How's that? Scusi, I told you, fotografica.
Camera take pictures, click-click? It's all the equipment.
Got some great shots! Will they catch him? Are you kidding? The Scarlet Pumpernickel? Oh! Now, let's have a nice big smile.
Smile, you're not Gloria Swanson.
Oh, my God! I'll use that one to advertise toothpaste.
Oh, yeah.
Is he trying to tell us something? It's gonna be rough where we're going If you're building up to get rid of me forget it.
I just don't wanna see you torn apart.
You keep talking and I'll keep staying.
Cute! Relax, it's normal.
This thing uses more water than gas.
Oh, really? - Buongiórno.
- Buongiórno.
Get us some grub, I'll check the back.
Oh, Snow White? Time to get up.
- About time.
- Where you going? - Up front.
- You're not going anywhere.
Who's gonna recognise me out here? Nobody, if you stay in the truck.
You wanna play big shot? I won't spoil your fun.
- Stay inside till we meet Brett.
- We don't have to wait for him! - Siddown! - What's wrong with you, Junior? Making time with that chick? Showing her what a tough man you are? Come on, I've got the food! Oh.
- I'm starving.
- And some fine wine.
Here.
- Have we got enough? - No, get some more.
Drive the truck, that's what you're here for.
Bon appétit.
Oh, grazie.
Thank you.
Is this what you're looking for? Yeah.
Boy, oh, boy.
You know something? You're sneaky.
Not as sneaky as you.
- You're not worried about Brett? - Oh, he'll be here.
He'll be here.
We're gonna rest here for a while.
Oh, promises, promises.
Hey! A voice in the wilderness.
Coming! Thanks.
Oh, no! - Hey! - Give it to me! - Cut it out! - No shots of me in the newspapers! Will you will you quiet down! You scare me to death, big boy Come on, come on, calm down.
- Let's eat first and fight later.
- He started it.
What's so funny? How come you're out here in the middle of no place with a beat-up old truck and a chance of getting shot, huh? - I need the money.
- Don't give me that.
I'm from the same stinking slum as you.
You made it big, so why this? I really wanna know.
Why? I haven't got time to explain it.
For kicks you could stick up a gas station.
Maybe you, but not me.
I wasn't trained for that kind of work.
OK, let's go! Wait a minute, wait a minute.
- We're waiting for Brett.
- He won't get here.
Well, we're gonna wait anyway.
You'd better give me back those keys.
Playtime's over.
Now what are you doing? - The keys.
- Car's coming! - Police! - They're coming here! This way! Boo! Oh, Brett.
- I knew you'd make it.
- Sorry I'm late.
Those police drivers really are remarkably good.
Do you like it? - Where'd you get it? - They left the keys in.
- Brilliant, Holmes.
- Thank you.
That radio in there was a mine of information.
This is the hottest car in Italy and that is the second.
- I win first prize.
- What do we do now? Walk.
- Walk?! - Walk.
Walk? Any bookmaker laying odds would have given 1000-1 against Rocco getting out of that roadblock.
Coffee.
You know, you've got to give them credit.
Breaking out of that cordon was audacious enough, but to top everything by getting away in a police car It's only a matter of time.
Time?! It would take centuries! Look - millions of square miles! We are looking for four people in country where you could lose an army! Our only hope is we put up our checkpoints on the right roads.
And for their sakes I hope we get to them before the others do.
Brusati.
Where? Uh-huh.
They've found the cars.
Here.
They've left the cars.
Chances are they're on foot in this area.
Contact our people here.
Keep cruising.
Watch it.
Sorry.
Your Lordship, where are you? Stop fooling around! Brett?! - There you are.
- What did you find? - A big, big old house.
- Anybody home? Yeah, the lights are on, people are dancing - how do I know?! You're supposed to find out.
I'll give you my resignation.
Great galloping Aunt Gladys, Daniel! Be fair, I do the worrying AND thinking, you just take the risks! - Sorry, I apologise.
- All right.
I'll wait with the others, you go and arrange some food and a car.
- I apologise.
- Stop apologising.
What am I apologising about? What is it with him? Oh! Sorry, didn't mean to make you jump.
I didn't.
I just had a nervous breakdown.
Relax now.
Daniel's scouting around and knowing him he'll probably come up with a luxury hotel.
- Mm - How's that? Mm, not bad.
I couldn't put up with it for more than six or seven hours.
Where's, er, Rocco? He's off somewhere playing lookout.
By the way, any time you feel like kissing me just feel free.
Sid, didn't anyone ever tell you that girls are supposed to be shy, retiring creatures? Yes, but when I see something in a store that I like I get it.
Is that so wrong? No.
No, that's my style of life too.
- And Danny's - What are you shopping for? Funnily enough, neither of us knew until we met Judge Fulton.
Don't give me that poor little rich boy stuff again.
I'm serious.
A year ago I was a racing at Monza, came off the track at 130mph I saw the pictures.
But the funny thing is I I didn't feel anything.
No excitement, no fear nothing.
But during the few jobs I've done for Judge Fulton I've come alive again.
And I thought you did things for strong noble reasons, like justice and integrity and that sort of thing.
That is what the judge likes to think.
- But I'll let you into a secret.
- What? Quite frankly I'm having the time of my life.
- I'd better see what Danny's up to.
- Of course.
He's coming.
- Well? - A lovely guy, an Italian Count.
I said we broke down and he's gonna arrange dinner and another car.
- Food! I love him already.
- He's straight? - He could be a relation.
- I doubt that.
I don't care if he's chief of police.
Come on, let's go.
We are enchanted that fate has brought you to our home.
- You bring lustre to our drab life.
- Thank you.
- Please accept some wine.
- You're most gracious.
- I'd like to freshen up.
- All you require is through there.
- Would you like some lustre? - Not if I have my hand kissed.
Count, this is real hospitality.
- It is my pleasure.
- Thank you.
- He's got a groovy pad.
- Come? - You have a beautiful home.
- Thank you.
Once my family owned all this land but war, taxes and profligacy - He has the same problem.
have reduced our standards.
- To understanding and hospitality.
- When can we get a car? I will telephone, but it will take some hours.
- Then we can't wait.
- Sit down, have a drink.
Here.
It will take a moment to prepare your rooms.
You're very kind but we're quite comfortable here, thank you.
Now, if you will excuse me I will prepare your food.
Now, that is Mr Charm himself.
Why don't you ask if he gives lessons? We're wasting time and that's dangerous.
Rocco, you've already qualified for the Olympic boring team, so sit down and relax.
It's my head that's on the chopping block.
Do what His Lordship says.
To our host, an aristocrat and a gentleman.
- Thank you.
- Signóra.
Grazie.
No, thank you.
It's been a wonderful dinner, beautifully served.
- A little fruit? - No, thank you.
There must be something I can do for you? You've done everything already.
And we've kept you up too long.
No one could be tired in the presence of such a beautiful lady.
If you are certain there is no more you require, perhaps your car will arrive before I awake and we won't have the opportunity to say goodbye.
- So you will permit me - Thank you.
Thank you very much.
- What is this? - Your account.
Account? Oh.
Dinner for four, accommodation, use of facilities It is all itemised.
Account? You mean this is a bill, right? Pay the gentleman, Danny.
Isn't that a lot of bread for a meal? Ahh, no, signóre, not just for a meal, but for the privilege of having it in my home.
I never thought of that.
Well, it has been a pleasure and an outrage to meet you, and the cost of your hospitality was more than compensated by your charm.
- Buonanotte.
- Good night.
- This is my receipt.
Buonanotte.
- Good night.
Good night.
- Danny, you know something? - What? - You've been taken.
- I'm gonna take the whisky.
Boo! What is it? We have been giftwrapped.
Anything? - There's somebody out there.
- I wish it was us.
You you walked us right into this! - You had a nice meal.
- I paid for it, remember? There's gratitude! - Daniel - My lord.
- Room service was appalling.
- Didn't even clear the table.
For breakages.
Come on, get in.
Hello! Fix that tyre! They should be well on their way by now.
- If they get lucky.
- They usually are.
They're probably treating it like a Sunday afternoon drive.
There's no turn off this road for 20 miles.
The way he drives who needs roads? - Wait a minute.
- I'd rather be moving.
Wait a minute.
Another roadblock.
You're kidding OK, everybody out.
- What now? - Walk! Where are you going? Hold that.
OK.
When will we get there? It'd be closer if you stopped complaining.
Can we stop for a minute? Why not? How is it you're always clean? - Because I think clean! - Dear, dear, dear Look at them.
A murderer and a gentleman? That's it, fellas, not another step.
Oh Here, pull up a rock and rest a second.
Finished.
Feet kaput.
Just give me one good reason why I should go any further? If I was a horse you'd shoot me.
Want any more reasons?! I know you'll think I'm a worrier but there are two awfully familiar cars behind.
Can we outrun 'em? If you push and can do the ten-mile-a-minute mile.
OK, Sid, Rocco, we're gonna drop you off at the next bend.
Wait a minute! And you can foot it to the rendezvous which is here on the map.
- If you think - Sid, just do what you're told.
We're going to take them for a scenic drive and meet you at sunup.
Get some champagne on ice.
- That way.
I'll see you later.
- But hey Oh.
- That way! - Wait! Wind her up You know, Brett, I'm worried.
Why? They'll make it.
Not about them - about us! Oh, sweet Get down.
Come on.
They're still with us.
And you're still worried.
Fasten your seat belt.
Would these guys wait while we change the tyre? It's hardly likely.
- I've got another possibility.
- Which is? You make the supreme sacrifice, then I can get away.
Be a hero? You know I'm not like that.
- Then we can do something else.
- Hmm? Stop the car and we'll run.
Hey, Mayfair.
- Where did these come from? - I get 'em wholesale.
Here they come.
Wait.
Now.
Wait! They're brave! - I got one! - No, I got him.
- He's mine! - No, I'm telling you, he was mine.
We wait.
About another mile.
You mean we've crossed the border already? It's a smugglers' route.
You think they'll make it? Daniel.
Here, here.
What is it? The natives are getting restless again.
- How many are there? - Seven.
- There are six.
- Seven.
- Wanna bet? - $100? Will you take a cheque? I bags the one with the hat.
OK, OK.
What's the wholesale position on bullets? - The bottom just fell out.
- So did mine.
You know, that could kill you.
- What are you doing? - Making it tougher to get in.
- And what are you doing? - When I go I go tidy.
This is when the cavalry usually arrives.
That's in Donald O'Connor movies.
My great-great grandfather, the seventh Earl, was once in a spot like this.
- Yeah? What happened? Where? - In India.
He was cut off from his regiment, out of ammunition, surrounded by at least 10,000 tribes.
- What did he? - You know what he did? - What? - Oh, thank you.
Well, he he drew his sword and all alone, entirely alone, he walked out to face them.
Wow wow.
What happened? Mm? Oh, they killed him.
Oh.
Listen, how is it Shh! Is it my imagination or has it suddenly gone quiet? It certainly suddenly did.
That's odd.
They're winning and they pick up their marbles.
Listen.
It's the cavalry.
Well, you did a little better than your grandfather.
- Yes.
What are you doing? - Making it easier to get in.
- Give me a hand.
- You put them there.
Sid and Rocco should be home and safe by now.
Yeah, excuse me.
- Have you got another flask? - No.
With good behaviour it'll be three years in front of the firing squad.
Enter.
We have guests! Come in, bring your horses.
I've always admired the police You're wasting your time.
As a matter of fact I was thinking Danny Danny I think there's something you ought to know.