The Premise (2021) s01e04 Episode Script

I don't know about you,
but I'm the kind of person that
can get 99 positive comments
and then 40,000 negative ones
and only focus on those.
Why are we like that?
[MUSIC]
This is The Premise.
I hope you enjoy it and if not,
I'm sure you'll know what to do.
This is, "The Commenter."
[MUSIC]
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
You're exactly where
you're supposed to be.
Keep your eyes closed
and focus on your breath.
No other thoughts enter your mind.
[DOG BARKING]
The only sound you hear is
the sound of your breath.
Breathe
in for four
[WIND CHIMES]
out for four,
and that's all you have to do.
That's all you ever have to do.
Now take your time.
And when you're ready, open your eyes.
Congratulate yourself on a
meaningful practice today.
Namaste.
If you enjoyed your practice,
please follow me on Instagram
at craft your morning
with a sip of yoga.
[CAMERA SOUND]
Bang bang.
[LAUGHS]
Hey, what are you doing?
I'm teaching Bear to play dead.
Bang, bang.
Yay. Good Bear!
With bang bang, Bear.
[LAUGHS]
Seriously?
Why are steel-cut oats
healthier than other oats?
I mean, how do the oats even know
what they're being cut with?
I don't know, but I think
you're funny. [CHUCKLES]
But for real, what is the difference?
Mm-hmm.
What's this?
-
- [CHUCKLES]
Steel-cut toast.
Because you are
Miss Generational Inspiration
and you deserve to be
celebrating yourself
- and who you are.
- No, no, no.
- Absolutely every single day.
- No, no. I'm so gross and sweaty now.
- My favorite.
- No, no, no. Oh, it's not even a real award.
They just gave it to me for fundraising.
Shhh
Can't I just love you?
Just listen to your toast,
you are the fucking best.
[LAUGHS]
I will see you tonight
with the girls, okay?
Okay.
You go change some lives.
Have a good day.
Bye. I love you.
Je t'aime
All right, listen up, ladies.
I want you to close your eyes because
I'm about to blow your minds.
Now keep your eyes closed
[LAUGHS]
and I want you to
try and scare yourself.
Come on try.
[CHUCKLES]
See, being scared of
yourself makes no sense.
You just have to listen
to your inner voice.
Now, when you write
this week's exercise,
I want you to remember that there
is no such thing as perfect.
There is only perfectly you.
Let's show our appreciation. Huh?!
We show [CLAP] our
[CLAP] great appreciation
- for the heroes [CLAP]
- Okay, okay.
who help our strength in education!
- [CAMERA SOUND]
- [APPLAUSE]
[MUSIC]
- To Cleo.
- Yes!
[APPLAUSE]
Also, to Naomi for getting into
her first choice medical school.
- Come on.
- Killing it!
[APPLAUSE]
Okay. Well, to Beth who
spent all last weekend
giving checkups to
rescue dogs, pro bono.
[LAUGHTER]
But, most importantly to my
beautiful girlfriend Allegra
or shall I say, "Miss
Generational Inspiration."
[APPLAUSE]
Also, I got us a table at
the Arts Alliance gala,
so we could go watch
Allegra accept her award.
Who would I be without you guys?
- [LAUGHTER]
- Right.
Okay, hang on.
Smile like you mean it.
[CAMERA SOUND]
[LAUGHTER]
Oh, I look terrible.
You look great.
[CHUCKLES]
So, it's at the New Orleans Jazz Museum.
It's like creative
black tie or whatever,
so no need to dress,
you know, any fancier.
Okay, cool
[MUSIC]
Okay.
Hello.
Ah, I'm so sorry.
- What? What's up?
- Oh, what.
You want to share [CROSSTALK]
We need to go with me
- Avec toi ?
- Where?
[SPEAKING FRENCH]
- [TELEVISION] Take it easy, man, okay?
- What are you doing,
that is not his blood,
that's so obvious.
You're gonna have to go back
to detective school, young man.
It's so dumb.
- Come on.
- What's happening?
She's going to get it, but her
partner is slowing her down,
- that's really annoying.
-
What are you doing?
Oh, no, come on.
- So, you saw it?
- Yes.
Who do you think it is?
Who cares, just block them.
No, you're not supposed to block them,
that just stirs them up.
Just ignore it then.
You have the best smile.
Sometimes I worry it's like a
grownup version of a school photo.
[CHUCKLES]
It's perfect. I love that
it's a little crooked.
It's my favorite.
I hate that there are these
faceless weirdos on the Internet
that try to ruin people's happiness.
It's crazy, you have like 99
beautiful, positive comments
and you choose to focus
on the one negative one.
The one that's like, stupid baloney.
Don't do it.
- Thank you.
- I will protect you.
Check my email.
You have 22 unread
messages from Dermstore.
Who gave you permission
to be this beautiful?
- Delete.
- From Ayanna M.,
I love all these ideas.
Mark as unread.
Open those new messages for me.
New text from Sarah,
meeting Tinder girl after
dinner, eyes emoji.
Sarah has changed the
name of the group to,
excuse me, ma'am, this is a Whataburger.
Check those new comments.
New comment from C101011,
posing with little black kids
so everyone knows I'm a good person.
Am I doing this right?
These hashtags, is she
teaching them to write,
or are they teaching her?
[MUSIC]
Hi.
Excuse me, we have an
open-door policy in this house.
I just need one second, sorry.
[MUSIC]
[CHUCKLES]
That's a beautiful smile.
You have a beautiful smile,
plus the light, oops
Fuck. I like that one from your account.
- How do I unlike it?
- Oh, just tap it again.
Isn't this supposed to be how
I feel about the comments,
not whether you think the
comments are objectively right?
How do you feel about the comments?
- That they are objectively right.
- [CHUCKLES]
That's a thought, not a feeling.
I feel um
seen
and respected.
You feel respected by these
comments, these comments?
I feel like I'm being
taken seriously, yes.
You have a loving partner.
You have an incredible
supportive group of friends.
You have all these students
that love and adore you,
and yet you believe that a
random stranger on the Internet
is the one person telling
you the truth about yourself?
Yeah.
Do you think you might be
too close to all of this?
Sure, of course.
But they're not.
They're far from it, right?
If they don't know me?
Exactly.
So, I'm too close to it and
they're too far from it.
Correct.
So, who am I supposed to listen to?
You listen to your heart.
I am listening to my heart,
but when I tell you
what my heart is saying,
you're telling me that I'm wrong.
[LAUGHS]
You don't know the
intentions of this source.
Well, what if they're good?
What if they're bad and
they're still right?
People listen to all kinds of things.
Religion, horoscopes, tarot cards.
Nobody judges them. This speaks to me.
Why can't I listen to it?
I know you feel you're struggling,
but you're doing wonderful work here,
and you're exactly where you should be.
Can I have my phone back, please?
[MUSIC]
Hey!
- Ooh.
- Wow, hello.
Who is this one runway model?!
It's not too much?
No, we love.
- No, no, never.
- You look good.
What would I do without you guys?
Ah, girl.
Do you really like it?
Listen, you were perfect and
now, you're just perfecter.
Look at her. Allegra 2.0.
That's my girl.
Look at her.
That's mine.
Oh, okay.
What?
This This sleaze tilt.
If you want private
phone time, no problem.
You just go like this. This is legit.
This is sleazy.
Oh, great.
Legit. Valid.
[CHUCKLES]
Hey, I really want to do this
thing together that I read.
On Goop?
Not on Goop.
Something like Goop.
-
- It's called a burn ceremony
where you write down all your fears
and everything you want to let go of
and then you burn it in a fire together
and let go of everything.
What if I don't want to burn my fears?
Why?
Did I only choose my job because
I want to seem like a good person?
Where is this coming from?
I don't know.
Is this that troll talking?
Are you still reading that shit?
Allegra, you're literally
about to get an award.
- Miss Generational Inspiration.
- Yeah
What is that even?
Were there other nominees?
Did I lose it last year?
Why do you let this voice
get into your head?
Your life is amazing.
Everything is going so great.
They're obviously just jealous.
I know.
I know.
[MUSIC]
Hey, I don't know who you are
and why you're writing to me,
but I wanted to reach out and
say you're clearly in pain
and contrary to your beliefs,
I am a very happy person with a
very fulfilling and satisfying life
and I hope whatever you're
looking for, you find it too.
[BACKGROUND MUSIC]
I truly feel sorry for you.
You feel sorry for yourself,
as you should.
Why are you obsessed with me?
Why are you obsessed with me?
You want me to seriously
engage with that question?
I doubt you're capable of it.
Obviously, it's because
I'm seeking validation.
You get validation everywhere.
You're not seeking that from me.
Think harder, if you can do it,
which I don't know if you can.
Okay, I'm seeking an escape
from mindless validation.
Oh, all right.
That's the intelligent Allegra
I wanted to talk to.
Your life still sucks though.
You're all doing perfect.
You can do better than that.
Breathe and release anything
that does not serve you.
I'm trying to see if I actually exist
underneath all this validation.
Expand your mind.
Oh, see?
You're so much smarter when
you're actually challenged.
Self-love isn't selfish, it's important.
You know what? Validation
isn't a bad thing.
No one would ever be able
to do anything worthwhile
without encouragement and support.
People would kill for
friends like these,
for a partner like this, for
a support system like this.
Sit, sit, sit.
Why do you care about me?
Are you someone I know?
I don't care.
It's easy to be honest when
you don't care about somebody.
And you know, unless you abandon
your need for validation,
you will never become who
you're supposed to become.
Allegra, we have a little trick for you.
You will never be free to
be who you want to be,
who you could be.
You could be saying this to anyone.
I was bored and went
back on all your posts,
way back when you wanted to be a writer.
What happened to that, Allegra?
Before you just wrote, "#Goals",
you actually had goals and
wrote in full sentences.
Look at every word you
write, ask yourself,
"Am I full of shit?
Do I even have an inner voice
or am I just an echo chamber
for other empty people
all of us looking for as many
people as possible to say
something nice about us before we die?"
Who are you posting for anyway,
before I came along?
I wasn't posting for anyone.
Everybody posts for somebody,
consciously or unconsciously.
There's someone you hope sees it.
You can't post without
picturing someone.
It's like coming.
[BACKGROUND MUSIC]
You know, what's fucked up is that
I read all these self-help books.
- That is fucked up.
- That's wonderful, you're searching.
No, what's fucked up is
even they'll tell you
that you're already great.
Believing in yourself
is an essential part
Shouldn't there be two
sections in the bookstore,
like, "How To Be A Badass
Bitch" and the sequel is
"You Are A Badass Bitch."
You're funny. Anyone ever
tell you you're funny?
[CHUCKLES]
Everyone tells me everything.
Sometimes you caption your photos
like you're deathly afraid
someone's going to tell you're pathetic.
Did you realize you're
not fooling anyone
when you pose in yoga
gear, full makeup, and
The fact that you captioned a selfie,
"I stand with my AAPI
brothers and sisters,"
kind of makes me think you don't
have any AAPI brothers and sisters.
Everyone's doing that above angle
that's supposed to be flattering
And, every time you talk
about destroying capitalism,
you usually buy something
online later that day.
Why were you a better writer
on LiveJournal at 16
than you are now?
See you Monday, Ms. Allegra.
You made me ask questions
I'd never asked,
pointed out things no one had told me.
How come no one told me
any of these things before,
because they couldn't see them or
because they couldn't say them?
- Hey.
- Which is worse?
Meredith just texted and said you quit.
It's so weird that it's you
who's doing this to me.
Everyone would think I'm crazy
listening to some hater online.
I don't think you'd be listening
to me unless you had to.
What do you mean?
You see someone rooting
around in the trash,
you don't ask, "What
are you looking for?"
You ask, "What did you lose?"
Mmm toss.
Toss.
Donate?
So someone else can throw it out?
Oh, I actually like
that transparent bag.
Yeah, that's legit.
I have the same one.
[MUSIC]
My love, the first time I met you
The first time I heard you speak,
I felt like I was hearing
music for the first time.
Like the way it feels when
you're 12 and you hear a song
that instantly makes you into an adult.
Have we been watching Garden State?
That cuts straight through
everything else right to your heart.
That one song that shows you who you are
and what you want.
You know what's funny?
You know what's funny?
Hey, you know what's funny?
You know what's funny?
You know what's funny?
[MUSIC]
It's a loser.
Who?
You know who?
It's some 300-pound loser,
sorry to fat shame,
in their mother's basement.
Sorry to income shame.
Gross, ugly, random, like
No, she isn't.
Male loser. What the fuck?
Who do you think is sick
in the head enough
to do something like this?
Don't insult her.
What?
So what? You think it's
some super hot, cool,
sexy, like, awesome, smart
lesbian, and then what?
You're going to move in
together and have babies?
Seriously?
- What if she's straight?
- It's not about that.
It's about being taken seriously.
It's about being challenged.
It's about being understood.
It's about being told
the truth, finally.
- By a stranger?
- Yes.
That's fucked up.
What's fucked up is that it
had to be a stranger, Beth.
All you do is gas me up.
You just tell me how perfect I am.
Is that all you're capable of,
or is that how honest you can be, which?
There's a lot I could say right now.
Oh, baby. Lay it on me.
Tell me something mean and true.
Try.
You're not as smart
as you think you are.
You have like this intellectual style.
Yeah, you're clever. You're just
What?
So sorry.
It's just like watching a
little girl play dress-up.
I love you so much.
I love you so fucking much.
I wish I could tell you what
was it like to make you happy,
but it's not.
I can't help it.
I think you're the best.
I think you're the smartest,
the most beautiful,
the most exquisite person.
You're one in a million.
You're one in like 10 billion.
You want to know how many
times I've played out
you leaving me for someone
better than me?
All the time. But for
someone who hates you?
That's fucked up.
You can feel however you want about me.
Don't treat my love like
this because that's unfair.
Please just stop punishing
me for loving you.
I can't help it.
What am I doing?
Hey, hey, hey, come here.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Hey, you are the best.
Oh, shit.
It's fine.
No, it's a little burnt.
I kind of like it when it's more golden
- and then it goes like this.
- It's perfect.
Okay, I am letting go of my guilt over
the animals of Hurricane Laura
that I couldn't save.
I am letting go of my need
for external validation.
I am letting go of my little
OCD around the house
- [LAUGHTER]
- no offense to anyone
who has OCD, of course.
I am letting go of the fear
that there is someone I should be
or something I should be doing
that isn't in the here and now.
Yes!
[LAUGHTER]
Um
[BACKGROUND MUSIC]
I want to give you something.
What is this?
It's the commentor
Um After I blocked them,
I hired this shady hacker
to track them down
and find where they
were logging in from.
So, that's their location.
Just a random person in a random
office building in Dallas.
[CHUCKLES]
You got them blocked?
Yeah.
- You did that for me?
- Of course.
I'll do anything for you.
- [MUSIC]
- Allegra!
What are you doing?
[NOTIFICATION SOUNDS]
Smart people make you feel smart,
crazy people make you feel crazy.
I need to know who you
are to know who I am.
[BACKGROUND MUSIC]
Her smile is as fake as her life.
Her smile is as fake as her life.
Her smile is as fake as her life.
[MUSIC ENDS]
Hey, is there a bathroom?
[SCREAMS]
I knew it, I knew it.
I knew it would be worth it.
I knew I would find you here
and I knew you weren't
just a loser in a basement.
Did you ever think this would happen?
No.
Can I ask you just one question?
Okay.
What should I do with my life?
You want me, a stranger you
just met in the bathroom
to tell you what to do with your life?
Yeah.
Are you listening to yourself?
That's a great question.
- I just feel
- I don't care what you meant,
I care what I heard.
Let me just look at you.
What?
What?
You look like a troll,
like a pretty little troll.
But whatever else you
think you are you're not.
Your whole life is just a
sad reflection of the people
you choose to obsess over.
Thank you.
I needed to hear that.
- I'm going to go now.
- Okay.
I'll never forget you and, um
thank you.
Fuck you.
I love you.
I love you.
[MUSIC]
I'm ready for a new job.
I don't really like kids.
I want to be a writer, but
I'm not that good at it.
I think I'll start a vintage store.
It's lame, but I don't care.
Beth is beautiful and sexy,
but I'm sick of her.
I'm hungry.
Maybe there's a Sonic on the way back.
I love fast food on the highway.
It always tastes better.
I wonder why?
Huh.
That's what my inner voice sounds like.
It's a little boring.
[MUSIC]