The Proud Family (2001) s01e04 Episode Script

Oscar, Penny,
breakfast is ready.
Now, let me get that
for you, sister-in-law.
A sister as fine as you
shouldn't be serving flapjacks.
No, girl.
Your picture should
be on the box, child ♪
of a bottle of syrup ♪
Thank you. Bobby,
what did you just say?
Trudy, I think the
munchkins are hungry.
Good morning, wife.
Children.
Old, dirty brother.
That's "one dashing
brother" to you.
So where's breakfast?
Dashing down
your brother's throat.
What? The Proud
soup kitchen is closed.
I missed the soup?
Bobby, leave.
You can't just come over here
and take food out of my kids' mouth.
Look, I'm trying to
help them out, see.
America's youth
is too chunky today. ♪
Thank you, Billy
blanks. Now step.
Okay, but I guess I'll take me
and my tickets to the
wizard Kelly all-star game
and find somebody who might
want to feed a brother with floor seats.
You-you-you-you-you got tickets
to the wizard
Kelly's all-star game?
You don't hear me. I
said, I got floor seats. ♪
My brother, my
brother, my brother.
We can't let the family leave on
an empty stomach, can we, baby?
The Proud family ♪
what? you and me
will always be tight ♪
family, every
single day and night ♪
even when you
start acting like a fool ♪
you know I'm loving
every single thing you do ♪
I know that I can
always be myself ♪
I love you more
than anybody else ♪
and every day as I'm
heading off to school ♪
you know there's no
one I love as much as you ♪
family, a family ♪
Proud family ♪
they'll make you scream ♪
they'll make
you want to sing ♪
it's a family
thing, a family ♪
Proud, Proud family ♪
the Proud family ♪
they'll push your buttons ♪
and make you
want to hug them ♪
family, a family,
Proud, Proud family. ♪
Trudy
My little brother sure can burn.
Now I all I need to do is find
something to wash it back.
Oh, maybe a little similac.
Oscar!
One second, honey.
Here it is.
Does it make my head look big?
Oh, no but the
room's suddenly smaller.
I'll settle for that.
Here, you take the finger.
Come on. Let's
go over to Felix's.
I can't wait to see the
jealous look on his face.
Hey, Mr. Proud.
Mr. "ain't too Proud to beg."
Getting ready for Halloween?
How you doing, mayonnaise?
That's Dijonay.
Maybe so, but that's
mayonnaise on your lips, child.
Wipe it off.
Is Penny ready?
Be right there, Dijonay.
- Penny.
- Yes?
Did you forget that today is
Go to work with your mother day?
I didn't forget; I'm going to
work with Dijonay's Mama.
I guess I forgot, then.
I thought I was your mother.
You are my mother, the vet.
It's boring, mom.
Oh. Well, what does
Dijonay's mother do?
She's a temp.
Oh, that's exciting.
It's at 25-to-life records.
That's sir paid-a-lot's label.
And today they're
having a listening party
for his new CD, backslash,
squiggle, number sign.
It's so dirty, they can't
even print the title.
I said the wrong
thing, didn't I?
Yes, you did, and
Penny's not going around
that rough record-company crowd.
But, mom, what
about sir paid-a-lot?
Sorry, I guess you're going
to have to "miss a lot" today.
- Sorry, p.
- See you, d.
We'll have a great time
together, you'll see, baby.
You liked it the last time
you came to work with me.
I was seven and stupid.
What did you say?
Great, I can't wait.
Now, honey, a lot of things have
changed since you were there last.
We've painted, I've
got a new receptionist
and we got stick-ups
for the cage area.
Boring.
Did I tell you I've got
a two-headed snake?
Boring times two.
Well, Missy, I see you're
still wearing those clothes
I bought you with the money
from this boring-times-two job.
I'm sorry, mom. I
didn't mean it that way.
It's just that Wow!
Zoey? Yo, Zoe, it's Penny.
Hey, were on our way
to pick up sir paid-a-lot.
Who's "we"?
Me and my mom. She's the driver.
That is so cool.
Uh-oh.
- Trudy!
- Sunset?
Oh, thank goodness.
I didn't recognize
your car, girl.
That's because
it's clean for once.
Help, help, Mama!
Eyes front, Tinkerbell.
Lacienega, that's enough.
Pero, mommy,
this is a clean collar.
Enough!
In the vicinity we
have a 4-4-niner
Oops, got to run.
See you later, girlfriend.
Man, that's cool.
I never get to bust
perps or do anything fun.
Everything's not as
exciting as it looks, baby.
Penny!
- Ta-ta.
- Bye!
Cleanup on aisle one.
I mean, the reception area.
I mean, just bring a mop.
"I've repainted, Penny.
It'll be fun, Penny.
I've got a five-headed
snake, Penny."
May I help you?
I'd like to see the
doctor, please.
Your name, please?
"Tristan the magician"?
I need to see the
doctor right away.
Sorry, you have
to take a number.
We'll call you when you're up.
I guess I'm up.
Mom? Mom?
She's been like this for a week.
She won't wear her tutus.
She won't ride her bicycle. She
pulls her ribbons off of her tail.
She won't even kiss me anymore.
Doesn't he know I
could gut him like a fish?
Huh? Are you talking to me?
Mm-mmm. No, he's
talking about the tiger.
I can't find anything
wrong except she's a he.
Yes! Finally someone
told that clown I'm not a girl.
Yes, but he doesn't know it.
Yes, he does
and he says he wants you
to stop dressing him like a girl.
"He says"?
I've taught Sasha many things
but talking isn't one of them.
My name is Ajay,
thank you very much.
He says his name is Ajay.
Penny, that's enough.
Tigers don't talk.
He's not talking. I
can sort of hear him.
That is ridiculous,
my dear little pigtail.
No, what's ridiculous is
that gruel you feed me.
No, he says what's ridiculous
is the food you feed him.
Nonsense. I make
all her favorites:
Tofu burgers, protein
shakes, seaweed crepes.
My favorite is antelope liver
with some fava beans
and a nice Chianti.
Well, he wants something
like antelope liver
with some fava beans
and a nice Chianti.
Huh?
Oh, he was just
kidding about the Chianti.
Penny, please. We'll
talk about this later.
Mmm, that dog looks tasty.
No, you can't have the dog.
Okay, you win this time.
Penny, no!
I'm just giving
him the dog food.
She'll never eat
that canned garbage.
Never say, "never."
Look at my Sasha.
She's got her groove back.
Keep calling him a her and
he'll put a groove in your back.
Him?
Okay, I guess I'll
have to get used to it.
Anyway, I'm eternally
grateful for your time.
How much do I
owe you, Dr. Proud?
I didn't do anything. Penny
diagnosed the problem.
Well, to show my appreciation
front row seats to my
magic show tonight.
Thanks.
Come, Sasha.
I mean, Ajay.
Suga Mama, thanks for
coming over on such short notice.
Puff, put this in the garbage.
Things have been rough
between Penny and me
but I think we
turned a corner today.
This morning, she couldn't stand
the thought of going to work with me
and tonight we're going
out on a date together.
Mom, can me, Dijonay and Zoey
sit together during the magic show?
Sure. We'll all sit together.
I mean, you know, without you
so we can, uh,
talk Without you?
Sure. Why not?
Yeah, y'all turned
a corner, all right
And fell off a cliff.
Wizard Kelly rules!
Shh! Calm down, Felix.
I told you to meet us outside.
If Trudy sees me,
she'll start nagging me
about taking out the garbage
or cleaning up my
room Anything.
You know women can't stand to
see men having fun without them.
Of course, that's the only
way a man can have fun.
She's right behind
me, isn't she?
Afraid so, pumpkin head.
She's smiling though, right?
Because she knows
I love my woman.
I'll pay her rent.
I'll buy her clothes.
I will cook dinner, too.
Oh, save it.
That is weak, bro.
When a woman is mad like that,
you don't pull out thebabyface.
You got to go mystikal on them.
Show her what
you're working with.
Just wait for me.
Oh, look here, I'm sorry.
- What what I meant was
- Hey, Mr. Proud.
Penny, forget the magic show.
We got tickets to
sir paid-a-lot tonight.
- Really?
- Yes.
Mom's got the limo outside.
- Let's go.
- Hey, wait a minute, Penny.
I thought you were going
to the magic show with me?
But, mom, I don't want to see some
depressed tiger jump through a hoop.
I want to go with my friends.
Daddy, tell Mama I
can go to the concert.
Oh, let the girl go, Trudy.
Sorry, Penny, I can't allow
you to go to that concert.
Daddy, why?
Because I'm your father and I
said so and it's either you or me.
Well, there's Bobby.
If you need me, you
can find me courtside
at the wizard
Kelly all-star game.
Wasn't that great?
It was okay.
Ladies and gentlemen
the Liberace of levitation
Tristan the magician!
For my first illusion
I will need a volunteer
from the audience.
Watch it, trisquit.
I don't play that.
And turn out those lights.
Another volunteer.
No, babies, you can't
come with mommy.
Don't worry, mother.
We'll take over the
baby-sitting for a while.
See, they're just fine.
Where are my babies?
They must have flown the Coop.
That's fake as a $3.00 bill.
You know you use
mirrors or something.
A non-believer and her dog.
Shall we convert them?
Ow!
That'll teach you
to mess with me.
Wizard Kelly makes a nice
bounce pass into the basket.
Okay, guys, a
couple of pointers.
Hey I thought we
had floor seats.
All I said is we'd
be right on the floor.
Now, sell those
ice cream balls ♪
before they start dripping ♪
oh-ooh ♪
Next, we take you to the land
of the sugar cane and pineapples
the land of soft breezes
and warm nights.
Oh, no.
He's got Ajay looking like a
A straight punk.
Dancing girl feed me an
apple from your basket.
Dancing girl, I said
feed me an apple.
I-I wouldn't do
that if I were You.
Don't worry. I've got
everything under control.
Run for your lives!
Finally, we are alone.
I need to talk to you, Penny.
It is Penny, isn't it?
Yeah, p-Penny.
Suga Mama, where's Penny?
Don't worry. I got her.
Guess she got away.
He's got my baby.
I just might get that
tiger skin rug after all.
And that's what it's
like back home in India.
- Penny!
- Uh-oh, animal control.
Penny? Penny?
No, that's my mom
trying to claw her way
in here to save me.
I'm 14, I can't
even talk to a tiger
without her trying
to control me.
It is so embarrassing.
Baby, are you all right?
Hyah!
I'm fine, mom.
What are you doing?
You have to let them know
you're not afraid. Hyah!
Mom, I'm okay.
Ajay is friendly.
Mom, you've got to listen.
Ajay's from India.
He was taken from
home when he was a cub
and misses his friends
and his brothers and sisters
and fat, juicy antelopes
this time of year
but most of all, he
misses his mom.
- Mom, you believe me, don't you?
- Of course I do.
See? She's listening.
I knew she was nice,
just like my mom.
You're so lucky.
Ajay says I'm lucky
to have you as a mom.
He just wants to
get back to his.
You've got to help him.
Honey, even if I
wanted to help you,
he's a 500-pound Bengal tiger.
I only way 400 pounds,
thank you very much.
He says
I'm sorry, Ajay. I
didn't mean anything.
Okay, I don't know how but
we'll get Ajay back to his mother.
I promise.
Well, Stu, looks
like the next stop
on the wizard's all-star
good will tour is Asia.
Right, chick. They're
stopping in Okinawa, Korea
China, Vietnam and India.
Now, the children
who make the sneakers
can watch the grown-ups
who make the money
up close and personal.
The wizard's got the ball
comes across the ten-second line.
This guy wizard Kelly
is really a player, st
One of the best
of all time, chick.
Wow, the wizard is really
hungry for the ball tonight, st
More like ice cream balls
the way he dove
on that poor vendor.
Good job.
Did you see that?
The wizard himself
patted me on the butt.
Hey, ice cream man,
there's a VIP party
after the game.
I hope you'll be there.
Oh, yeah. I'll be there.
Yeah. Doesn't get
any better than this.
Folks, we've got breaking news.
Looks like there's
trouble at the magic show.
Of course there is.
Isn't that your mother?
Of course it is.
One second, we was
watching the show
and the next thing you know
the tiger just lost his natural mind.
Isn't that your phone?
You know it is.
Yes, dear?
Back off. I'm a vet.
We have a very sick animal here.
That's my baby.
I love it when you
running things.
Is Sasha going to be all right?
Ajay is very, very sick.
I think he needs a rest.
We're booked on Rosie next week.
- What am I going to do?
- I don't know.
Stick your head in her mouth.
You know, that's not a bad idea.
And our mission is to
spread joy and basketball
and build wizard Kelly
theaters all over the world
so people all through Asia
can sit and watch a movie
in their own neighborhood.
I know I will.
Wizard, wizard, a question.
What do you think
about the current
political and religious
clashes in India?
Good question.
I think every man,
woman and little children
should be entitled to eat their
popcorn with or without butter.
So without further ado, I
do want to board this plane.
And remember, folks, it all
started with an orange basketball.
Time out, time out.
Something's not right here.
Look at this guy.
He's got stripes on his shoes.
That's tight! That's tight!
Get me some just like his.
You the wiz.
I like your flavor.
Man, did anybody ever tell you
you look just like that
guy on that cereal box?
You're g-r-r-reat!
We did it!
Mama, do you think
Ajay will find his mom?
I don't know, but I hope so.
I hope so, too
because I know I would
be lost without you.
Really, Penny?
Yeah.
I love you, Mama.
I love you, too.
Hey, can't daddy
get some love, too?
I left floor seats to come here.
Of course you can, daddy.
Hey, what are we going
to do with John Salley?
Don't worry, I'll take care
of old, long, tall Salley.
Buckle up, y'all ♪
get a move on ♪
'cause the plane is landing ♪
747, y'all ♪
Before sir paid-a-lot
rapped one dirty word,
the police arrested him.
Then we had to walk home because
Zoey's mom's limo had a boot on it.
Good thing there was a
TV in that store window
or we would have never
known about you and that tiger.
Please, she's not Dr. Doolittle.
There are documented cases
of people making a psychic
connection with animals.
Dear, Penny
I wanted to let you know
I made it home okay.
My mother sends you love.
You should see it and
I wish you were here.
It's beautiful.
Just like I remember.
The trees, the flowers
Uh-oh, there goes
dinner. Got to go.
Sticky, where are
you reading this?
You mean like the
connection that you and I have?