The Proud Family: Louder and Prouder (2022) s01e04 Episode Script

Wow, this is really nice of you.
But I have to admit it,
I have never celebrated
a half birthday before, Oscar.
That's because you've never
had a friend like me before, Felix.
OSCAR: Da-da-da-da!
Behold, for Proud Snackers
everywhere, Snackland!
The next great American amusement park.
Each ride based on a delicious treat.
Straight from the Proud Snack ovens.
(BUZZING)
Whoa! Where you goin', Felix?
What does Snackland
have to do with me, Oscar?
I know I don't look like it,
but I don't like snacks.
Banks don't give money
to someone who got a -300 credit score.
I need you to co-sign my loan.
(DRILLING)
You can dig, but you can't hide, Felix.
I know where you live!
FELIX: Leave me alone.
(OSCAR GRUNTS)
(SINGING) The Proud Family What?
You and me will always be tight
Family every day and every night
Even when you start acting like a fool
You know that I'm lovin'
Every single thing you do
I know I can always be myself
When I'm with you
More than anybody else
Every single day
That I'm headed off to school
You know there's no one
I love as much as you
The family the family
They'll make you scream
They'll make you wanna sing
It's a family thing, a family
a proud, proud family
Proud family
They'll push your buttons
They'll make you wanna hug 'em
It's a family thing, a family
a proud, proud family
Proud, proud family
(OSCAR SCREAMS)
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
WIZARD: Welcome back
to Wizard Kelly on the Telly.
It's my UK show, blokes,
where talentless teens
lip sync to their favorite songs
sung by other talentless teens.
This week's prize, ten VIP tickets
and a meet-and-greet
with the world-famous
-Pink i, y'all.
-(CHEERING ON TV)
WIZARD: Well, what do you know?
Lil Wizzy, no relation,
because that would be unscrupulous,
y'all, is in the lead.
Time for our next video,
submitted by LaCienega and the Followers.
-Perfomin' Pink i's Disinfect Me.
-Followers?
I don't follow anybody.
Shh. They're about to play my video.
(SINGING) Disinfect me
Disinfect me with your love
I'm tryin' to act chill
What happened
to the rest of us, LaCienega?
Yeah, where's my twerk solo?
Please, twerking is so played out.
Shh. Be quiet, here comes my piccolo solo.
with your love
Disinfect me
How many
You put your head on my body?
You should thank me.
It's the best you ever looked.
That was LaCienega
and the Followers, y'all.
Although, I really couldn't tell
who was following who.
Hey, remember,
you have five minutes to vote.
And as always,
Wizard counts by five, y'all.
If you don't vote and I win,
I'm not taking you
to the concert, Followers.
(PLEASANT GUITAR MUSIC PLAYING)
(BELL DINGING)
OSCAR: Felix, I know you're in there.
-Open the door. Open the door!
-I'm not doin' it, Oscar. Go away.
OSCAR: I just wanna talk!
I don't want your money!
You're not the only one
that can dig a hole.
I'm not co-signing
that loan for you, Oscar.
You're gonna need
two 'cause you gotta pay for my floor.
Come on, Felix.
I don't have anyone else to turn to.
I've got a meeting with the bank,
and once they check my credit, it's over.
Why don't you ask Trudy?
She turned me down.
Suga Mama too, and Pop broke.
I think you missed
a name on that list. Mine, Oscar.
-(OSCAR CRIES) Come on.
-Hello, Mr. Proud.
OSCAR: Hey, kids.
I don't know what to do, Felix.
You were my last chance.
Well, life could be worse, Oscar.
You could be me.
What's worse than your mother,
wife, and best friend,
and a monkey stompin' on your dreams?
Oh, I don't know, your wife
gettin' a promotion to detective,
gettin' a new partner,
Barry, who's good-lookin'.
Yeah, good-lookin' Barry and a promotion.
Whoa, whoa! What's goin' on, pal?
Talk to me.
It's Sunset, she's changed.
She dresses nice, she hums all the time.
She's never late for work. She's happy!
Maybe because she makes
twice as much money as you do now.
Wait a minute. Is Sunset home?
(SENSUAL MUSIC PLAYING)
Monkey Duncan Hines.
(CLEARS THROAT) Excuse me, do I know you?
(LAUGHS)
Stop playing, Oscar.
Hold up, Sunset,
why you dressed like that?
I told you.
Barry and I
are working undercover tonight.
You ain't goin' undercover
until you cover some of that up.
(BELL DINGS)
Come on, Felix, relax.
What does Barry got that you don't have?
(VOMITS)
(GASPING) Barry, you look great!
Thank you, Sunset.
And you look absolutely stunning yourself.
Besides height, muscles a great aroma,
your woman obviously
and a great FICO score.
Barry, Oscar Proud,
President and C-Snack-O of Proud Snacks.
Your new best friend.
Oscar Proud. Put her there, big guy.
Nice to meet you.
Ow!
(CHOKING) Nice meeting you, too.
WIZARD: Time's up.
Like Seabiscuit at the Belmont,
we got a Kodak finish.
LaCienega and the Followers
took the inside track
to a total of 7,342 votes.
Please, let me win.
Please, let me win.
Ooh. It's tight. It's tight, y'all.
While Lil Wizzy
(TEETH CHATTERING)
squeaks by with 2,325,017 votes.
ALL: Zang!
Man, we're never gonna see Pink i.
Did I hear someone say "Pink i"?
We were trying to win tickets
for her show tomorrow night,
and my so-called Followers let me down.
Well, perk up, young lassie.
I happen to be
working security at the concert tomorrow,
and you are welcome
to come along with me, My-My, and KG.
You're the best, Tio Barry!
-"Tio Barry?"
-Can I bring my Followers, too?
-I need to see Pink i. I mean, hello?
-Yeah, can all of us come?
Of course. You can all come.
-Yeah! We're gonna see my girl, Pink i!
-You're the best, Tio Barry!
-She can't go.
-Great idea, Barry.
And I'll drop the kids off at the Wizdome.
-Uh, she can't go.
-Well, follow me to the car, kids.
And Tio Barry
will give you all backstage passes.
(ALL EXCLAIMING) Backstage passes?
We gonna eat crazy!
For the last time, she can't go.
(ENGINE STARTS)
Uh, Felix, they gone.
FELIX: Yep, it's pretty much over.
(SINGING) Disinfect me
Disinfect me with your love
I'm tryin' to act chill
So disinfect me with your love
Heal my sickness
Disinfect me
(ALL CHEERING) Pink i, Pink i,
Pink i, Pink i!
Pink i. Pink i.
(HUMMING, VOCALIZING)
Whoo! Maya, introduce me to your friends.
Nope. Not dressed like that.
Look at how you dressed.
Hey, what's up, everybody?
This is me and Maya's dad.
How y'all doin'?
Hey, how are you?
I'm sorry, Mister. What's your name?
Just call me Randall, honey.
Just call me Randall.
Sorry, Randy, but I thought
Barry over there was the dad.
Dijonay!
What? I just wanna know who's who.
(GASPING) Ah-oh!
Thank you, thank you.
Remember, love is contagious, spread it.
Pink, out.
Dijonay!
What did I say?
I was just tryin' to get an understandin'.
Well, understand this,
you don't say anything.
No Twiddling,
no Gramming, no TikTiking, okay?
Nobody cares about that.
This is the Roarin' 2020.
You got it, Dijonay?
Okay, my lips are sealed.
(MUFFLED) But my Twiddle fingers ain't.
-BOY 1: What's the big deal?
-BOY 2: I don't know. It's weird.
BOY 3: I don't know if I like her now.
GIRL 1: What's the big deal?
(GIRL 2 LAUGHING)
BOY1: Two dads?
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
-BOY2: Kinda weird.
-GIRL 3: It is a little weird.
BOY2: Damon has two moms.
(STUDENTS LAUGHING)
GIRL 1: Double daddies.
(DOORBELL RINGING)
(CHUCKLES) Excuse me,
I know what a mama's boy is, but
what's a double daddy's boy?
(CHUCKLING)
Huh, why don't we step outside,
and I'll explain it to you?
STUDENTS: Ooh!
GIRL: Frankie, he got all spicy on you.
What are you gonna do?
Hmm. I ain't gotta do a thing.
Double daddy's boy
don't mean nothin' to me.
Come on, let's go.
(LAUGHS)
Oh, Frankie is such a jerk.
I can't believe I used to like him.
Wow, I really feel bad for them.
I don't. When I first moved here,
you guys treated me like dirt.
Girl, we were always cool with you.
What about when you saw my feet, Michael?
Hey, y'all, it's Flipper.
(LAUGHING)
(ALL LAUGHING)
Okay, we did clown you pretty hard.
Yeah, but that was nothing
compared to this.
I just wanna know
how the word got out so quick.
-Dijonay?
-(PHONE BEEPING)
Uh
I may have accidently sent out a twid.
Oops.
And posted a photo on my Hologram account.
But other than that,
I didn't say anything.
People are crazy!
Why does it even matter
that they have two dads?
-It's weird.
-Says who?
-My dad.
-Mine, too.
Mine three.
Well, my dad taught me how to treat
people how I wanna be treated.
I'm gonna go sit with them.
You guys comin'?
You're on your own, Proud.
Dijonay? Since you outed them.
I'm good, Penny.
Just make sure you don't out me.
And give KG my number.
Zoey?
Uh, I'm planning
to run for class president.
I've gotta remain neutral on this issue.
However, I could evolve later.
I've never listened to my dad.
-I'll go with you, Penny.
-Thanks, Michael.
I know how difficult this must be for you.
Girl, if you don't come on.
Hey, guys. Mind if we join you?
Don't pay attention to the haters, okay?
They're jealous
'cause you have two dads.
Yeah, some of them don't even have one.
Or a mama. Okay!
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Woo-hoo! Wait, what did we say?
We were just joking.
First of all, you shouldn't be just jokin'
about things you don't know of.
Maya's kinda sensitive.
You were talkin' about kids
not having fathers or mothers,
and we're both adopted. That's wrong.
Oh!
I have to say, Penny,
you are not really good at this.
OSCAR: I have spoken.
I'm the head of the house,
and what I say around here goes.
That ain't never been true.
(LAUGHS)
For the 8,000th time today,
what are you doin' here?
Oscar, I will not let you fill
our daughter's head with that nonsense.
What nonsense?
-Um, nothing, baby.
-Oh, there's somethin', all right.
Listen, I don't want
you hangin' out with those kids
that moved into Sticky's old house.
-Why?
-Yes, Oscar, why?
What do you It doesn't matter why.
Just do what I say.
Maybe he doesn't like that
because those kids got two daddies.
And he wonders why I don't like
to admit that he's my son!
Daddy, do you know that all the kids
are being mean to Maya and KG
because their parents
told them the exact same thing?
I just can't believe
how ignorant people are.
It's not fair.
Huh, well, you just learned
an important lesson, baby girl.
Life isn't fair.
Oh, I can't stand him.
I hope you're proud of yourself, Oscar.
(LAUGHS) I know I ain't.
(PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)
Good mornin', family.
What day is it?
It's my big day.
I'm going to the bank to get my loan.
Wish me luck, BeBe and CeCe.
Trudy?
-Wrinkles?
-(GROANS)
-Baby girl?
-I'm late for school. Bye.
Well, what's wrong with her?
(PIANO MUSIC CONTINUES)
Oh, now, come on.
Y'all still mad about yesterday?
I was just tryin' to protect her.
When she has kids, she'll understand.
Of course, she's never will
'cause she's never gonna date.
-Get off!
-You just dumb, son.
BANKER: Next.
-Hello. Proud. Oscar Proud.
-BANKER: Yeah.
I have an appointment for a loan.
A really big, big loan.
BANKER: Over there.
All right, a brother.
I got this loan.
Ungawa, we got the power.
What's up, man? Oscar Proud.
Good to see they got a brother up in here.
We gotta stick together.
You know what I'm sayin'?
I think I do.
I'm Randall Leibowitz-Jenkins.
"Leibowitz-Jenkins?"
-What kinda brother are you?
-The best kind
A brother in charge! (LAUGHING)
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Have a seat, Oscar, won't you?
I was looking over your application,
and I noticed that we have
Okay. Okay, okay. I know, I know.
Now, I might've padded up
the income a little,
and could've fudged
with my credit score just a smidgen.
And I mighta coulda forgot
to put down a couple of IRS levies.
But the rest of it's true.
No, I noticed we were neighbors.
Forget everything I just said.
So, Randall, my brother. (CHUCKLES)
My homie. Where exactly is your crib?
Assalamu alaikum. You like bean pies?
My partner and I bought the Webb house.
The Webb house? Oh, I know all about that.
A gorgeous mid-century Tudor on the
-Wait. Did you say "partner" or "partner"?
-Yes, my husband.
I'm pretty sure our kids
go to school together, too, right?
Your husband?
So, neighbor,
don't worry about the small stuff.
Your loan is gonna sail right through.
After all,
we brothers have to stick together.
Ungawa, we got the power.
So, sign right here,
and we'll have that check
for you in a couple of days.
Knock, knock.
Hey, Randy, I was in the neighborhood,
and you forgot your lunch again.
(RANDALL CHUCKLES)
Maybe I just wanted to see you.
Oh, Barry, meet Oscar Proud,
one of our new neighbors.
I know Oscar.
We go way back. Hey, big fella.
Good to see you again.
Oh, you too, my friend.
All right, don't be late tonight, Randy.
I'm cooking dinner. Your favorite.
(SEDUCTIVELY) Gumbo.
(KISSING)
You okay, Oscar? You need some water?
No, uh, I'm okay.
Wait, I was about to sign.
My eyes shatter all the time.
My teeth, too.
I'm sorry, but it's above me now.
There's a Best Wiztern next door.
(OSCAR CRYING) Oh, come on.
(SCREAMS) No!
Wait, what you mean you ain't got
no money to invest in our record label?
Don't one of yo' daddies work at the bank?
Yeah, and the other one's a cop.
-Man, we ain't scared of no five-O.
-And I ain't scared of no ashy bully.
(GASPING) Oh, snap! She used the A-word.
Somebody's about to die.
Let's go the other way, y'all.
-Wait. Guys, we have to help them.
-No, we don't, Proud.
Michael?
Sorry, boo.
Physical confrontation is not my ministry.
Look, this is our chance
to break the cycle.
To blaze a new path.
To show our parents the future.
Mess with the Gross Sisters,
and you'll have no future.
Oh, thanks for the support, guys.
You know, guys, Penny's right.
We have to break the cycle.
Zang.
I hate when Penny gives one of her
AOC-Megan-Rapinoe-Ilhan-Omar
power-to-the-people speeches.
Well, I don't care.
I don't even know who those people are.
Come on, clueless.
Nubia, quit messing with them
because they got two dads.
We ain't messin' with them
'cause they got two dads.
We messin' with them
because they got two dads with jobs.
If you wanna rob somebody, rob me.
Man, I know you ain't got no money, Proud.
Word on the street is
your daddy ain't get that loan.
Dijonay. Really?
I've been hacked.
Man, you better get out of my way, Proud.
No.
(SIREN BLARING)
Hey, kids.
Mommy!
(MUMBLING)
Everything okay, My-My?
Yeah, everything's fine, Dad. We good.
Yeah, we all right. (CHUCKLES)
We just chillin'.
Right, LaCienega?
Yeah, we're just chillin'.
Okay, okay.
Well, don't be late for dinner tonight.
I'm cooking your favorite.
(WHISPERING) Gumbo.
Wait a minute. Why y'all ain't snitch?
-'Cause snitches get stitches?
-They do where I come from.
Okay, okay. I think I like you.
You ain't no punk.
All right, listen,
I'mma let you slide this time.
Besides, I think Olei tryin'
to get with your brother.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Give me that!
(EXCLAIMING)
(CRYING)
Nah, the truce is broken.
And your nappy-haired brother
gon' pay for makin' my baby sister cry.
Thanks for standin' up for us, Penny.
-You didn't have to do that.
-I didn't do it by myself, Maya.
And thanks to all y'all.
I really appreciate it.
-Don't mention it. It's what I do.
-It's all good.
You know, guys,
this was a major breakthrough.
We discovered that when you take
a moment to step back from a situation,
and really consider others,
their feelings, their soul,
it allows you a chance to really
dig deep and find the truth,
that Beyoncé
is the best entertainer alive,
and that ice-cream cake
is far superior than regular cake. And
Penny, if I invite you over to my house
for gumbo, will you please zip it?
Gumbo?
Absolutely! I love gumbo.
Almost as much as I love ice-cream cake.
Ooh, and how much
I love caramel corn. Wait
(GRUNTS)
(MUMBLING)
(GIGGLES)
Proud.
Leibowitz-Jenkins, this is my wife, Trudy.
And what's your name again, young man?
(SCREAMS)
You can call me Suga Mama.
Well, nice to meet you, Suga Mama, Trudy.
Look, look, look, Randall.
My son has somethin' to say to you.
Say it, boy.
(YELPING)
Say it before I hurt you.
-What do you think you're doin' now?
-(OSCAR GRUNTING)
Okay, um, would you
lovely people like to come in?
No, no, that's okay.
My wife's about
to take me to the eye doctor.
Yes, Randall, we'd love to.
Fine. Somebody just point me
in the direction of the bus stop.
Hold it, now. Do I smell gumbo?
I love gumbo.
TRUDY: I apologize, Randall.
We didn't realize
you were throwing a party.
Child, we didn't either.
Somebody posted on Hologram
that we was havin' a housewarming
with all-you-can-eat gumbo,
and the doorbell hasn't stopped ringin'.
-(BELL DINGS)
-Dijonay.
Mr. Leibowitz-Jenkins, sir,
can I have some more gumbo?
I told you, Frankie, call me Barry.
Of course you can have more gumbo.
(MUSIC PLAYING ON RECORD)
Well, Mr. Barry, I just
-I just wanna say I'm sorry.
-For what?
I'll tell you after
I finish this second helpin' of gumbo.
SUGA MAMA: (YELPS) They playin' Pretzel.
-Y'all know that's my thing.
-BeBe, CeCe, be careful.
-Look, Randall. I'd just like to say
-(DOORBELL RINGING)
Hold that thought.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
Hello, Randall.
I'd like for you to meet
my husband, Felix.
Randall, it is so good to meet you.
Barry, my man! I love you.
Oscar, I'm sorry,
what were you about to say?
Look, man, I'm really sorry
about what happened earlier today.
I mean, because, well, us brothers,
we really gotta stick together.
You know what I mean?
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Yes, we do. Apology accepted.
And by the way, I approved your loan.
You did?
You mean it's not above you anymore?
(LAUGHS)
No. Listen.
Your daughter,
she kinda stood up for my children,
so I kinda owe you
for raisin' a decent child.
-You know what, Oscar?
-All right. Don't
You should try lookin'
at the world through Penny's eyes.
You might learn
a little somethin' somethin'.
Now, wait right here.
I'mma go get you some gumbo.
Whoo! That's Suga Mama's jam, y'all.
RANDALL: Silky, silky now.
(DISCO MUSIC PLAYING)
RANDALL: Come on now!
(GRUNTS)
(DISCO MUSIC CONTINUES)
Daddy, I know you don't agree with me,
but you and Mama taught me
to always treat other people
the way I wanted to be treated.
Mmm-hmm.
I know, baby girl.
I'm just glad
you listen to the smart things
that we say and ignore the dumb stuff.
You mean, like not dating boys?
Except that.
Come on, Daddy.
(DISCO MUSIC CONTINUES)
(ENGINE REVVING)
TRUDY: Oscar, where are we going?
This is ridiculous.
Give me my glasses back, boy.
Tired of your foolishness.
We better be at a restaurant.
This is better than food.
This is the future home of
Da-da-dada!
Snackland-land-land-land-land-land-land.
SUGA MAMA: Ooh, no, Lord,
we ain't eatin' here.
TRUDY: What is this mess, Oscar?
PENNY: A fish?
(YELPS)
-A toxic waste dump, Daddy?
-Yes! (LAUGHS)
Isn't it great?
I got it for practically nothin'.
(ENGINE STARTS)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
That's okay. Run.
You'll be back. You all
(EXCLAIMS)
(SCREAMS)
Trudy!
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)