The Real Housewives of D.C. (2010) s01e04 Episode Script

- Previously, on the real housewives of D.
C - Well, this is a waste of chardonnay.
- Tareq's supposed to be a winemaker, Coming out and serving beer? I mean, give me a [bleep.]
break! [laughter.]
- The salahis are going to be hanging with the turners! - Here's to another great date.
- [laughing.]
- our friendship grows.
- Global bffs.
- I was adopted when I was a baby-- So, like, six months.
- Will she let you know who your dad is? - No.
- Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh.
- OhMy gosh.
- They appear to be Starving Starving for, like, attention.
- She was really barking up the wrong tree with me, Because I'm so not racist in any way.
- I don't make money.
I spend money.
- I give people enough rope to hang themselves, And the smart people don't.
- D.
C.
Is my town, and I thrive in it.
- I'm here for a good time, not a long time.
- People have a hard time saying no to me, And that's just been my blessing.
- That smells great.
- That's because it's got a maple flavor.
- And it's made with love.
- It is made with love.
- So I'm not gonna eat for the rest of the day.
- Well, you can eat.
You can have fruit salad, darling.
- You look so cute in your apron and - Honey, you're so funny.
You're just-- - I'm serious.
- You just think I'm cute, period.
- I think you're more than cute.
I think you're beautiful.
- Hi, sweetheart.
- Ah, the onesie.
- Yeah.
- You guys talking about me? - Aw! - He's got a onesie too? - Hey - Hey - I have a family that has lots of lov And we do spend a lot of time together.
So we have to serve our men first.
You know, that's how they do it in the south.
- Damn straight! [southern accent.]
- lynda? - Sam? - I'll give you five good minutes Until I get angry.
My one friend is like literally obsessed with chili, mom, And I can't wait to bring him your chili.
- When I cookChili, I make, like, 16 quarts of it.
- She does.
- And then I want to freeze what I don't give away.
- But, yeah, whatever house we find, It's got to have an immensely huge freezer.
- Yeah, we need that.
- Like that one.
And then a pool we can go swim and get cramps in.
[laughter.]
- I'm looking for a house.
'cause the apartment just is not big enough.
Even though not all of my children live with me, You know, there's a constant coming and going.
- I think wherever we move, mama - Uh-huh.
- We should have pull-up bars In every door Every door frame.
- No, I don't think so.
[laughter.]
- You'll hang your clothes on them.
- I'm going to miss georgetown.
You know, there's nothing like security And the concierges and the restaurant And room service 24/7.
But I really think after What I have put my family through the last five years, Living in an apartment, I owe it to them to give them a yard.
- Mom, this food-- phenomenal.
- It's so good.
Thank you so much.
- Thank you.
- I'm just so ad everyone's together.
- Okay, what's that one thing that we like to do, That one step? - Except that we had it-- a hip hut go leftright, left I said-a [fumbling words.]
sigma hut a hip hut [laughter.]
- Nope.
- My girlfriends are in town For howard homecoming.
Because I don't have siblings And my family's really small, They have been like my sisters.
- Stacie, just on a separate side, What's the latest with finding your father? Any update? - Oh, boy.
- We're--we're going to find him.
- I think the last time we talked, Like so much has happened since then, so - Tell us something good.
- So, um I found my birth mother.
- You found your mom? - Found my birth mother who, I was surprised to find out, Is caucasian.
- Oh, my goodness.
- Like first generation immigrant From germany and finland.
Through these letters and so forth, She wanted to have a "secret relationship.
" - "secret"? - Secret.
Because her family has absolutely no idea About me or her having a child with an african man, A black child.
My birth mother is white.
Her husband is white.
Her son is white.
The fact that she had a baby with a black man Is a problem.
More interestingly, I found out That my birth father is nigerian, Which I had no idea either.
They met in the peace corps.
He was a teacher of all of the peace corps vonteers.
She ended up getting pregnant, Getting sent back to the states.
You know, it's, like, complicated-- - Does your father know about you? - He doesn't know that I exist.
- Are you kidding me? - That is crazy.
I've now, for the past year and a half, Like, begged, pleaded, done everything To try to get his information, And she won't give it to me.
- Well, she's selfish.
- Definitely.
It's very, very selfish.
- I think that my birth mother's entire world Would be rocked by the fact that she had a black child.
I think it would be scandalous.
Straight scandalous.
I would just like to know, you know, who he is.
It's like closing the loop, you know, like Knowing where you came from.
It's like, you know, my history, culture.
You know, who's my people? The reality that she is my mother, But for whatever the circumstances are, She can't acknowledge that-- That isomething that hurts, no matter what.
I mean, she refers to me-- I'm the cret.
And I'm like, I'm not a secret.
I'm a person.
So - With feelings.
- I need to know.
Girl, don't be wellin' up over there.
Let's--don't-- don't be wellin' up.
- We just need to get a plan.
'cause you nd to get on it - Anyway, we'll see.
We'll see.
- Rolling out the pink carpet.
- I'm really excited about ted's salon opening.
It makes me happy th I've helped ted gibson Launch his salon in d.
C.
He and I have become very close friends.
People sometimes like to call washington The hollywood fougly people.
And it's my mission to creat a wholnew focus On culture and fashion, To reallhelp put us on the map.
- Ted! - How are you? - Oh! - Look how beautiful you look.
- I love you.
- Wait, wait, wait.
You have to back up And just give me a little taste.
- Uh-huh.
Thank you.
I love you.
Oh - How are you? - I missed you! - Hi, guys.
- Oh, my gosh, I'm so excited you're here.
Thank you.
- D.
C.
Loves you.
We needed you.
- Well, we're honored.
- This is it! - We needed you.
- Michaele might be sponsoring the salon opening With some wine, But I feel like I am the person that is helping ted Really make it in d.
C.
- Where's that man of yours? - I know, he's coming.
He's bringing the wine.
- He is? - Yes.
He's coming.
He's excited about tonight.
I think you look amazing.
- Well, if I had this on my arm - Ahem.
- Hello! - Like - Can I have a kiss, honey? - Of course.
- Oh - That's so sweet.
And he's in d.
C.
! He's in d.
C.
- I'm so glad to be in d.
C.
- You know I'm proud.
I love you so much.
- Are you doing blow-dry? - I am.
And nails.
My nails are atrocious.
Hi, baby cakes.
- Hello, gorgeous.
What's happening? - You know what? I need to talk to you because I have a big event that I'm planning For November.
- For November? - I'm ready to do a big fashion event.
- A big fashion event.
- To raise a bunch of money And awareness for children's hospital.
So I'd love to have you involved for hair.
- Done.
- Yay! So I came in the door - Yes? - And it took you a little while to say hi to me.
- It wasn't intentional.
You know you're my favorite.
Don't you start.
- I'm just jealous.
- Listen - Am I your favorite? - I'm a big one-- There's plenty of me to go around.
- I know, I know.
I know you are.
I just wanna make sure that you know that I know.
- I would never forget.
- [clears throat.]
Who's number one here? You're a star.
- Hook a bitch up.
- Can I get some excitement? Because I am so thrilled to be in washington, d.
C.
And I'm so glad to come here And have opened the salon with jason, my husband.
If you don't know jason, this is jason.
[whooping.]
Thank you for coming.
- Oh! - How are you? - You look beautiful.
- So do you.
I'm very, very hot.
Is it me, or is it very hot in here? - Ah, there they are.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Darling, you look lovely tonight! - You look lovely too! - I'm kind of over all you americans, You've had your three month holiday of being in the sun.
I really am.
- Here's lynda! - Oh! - That's me.
- I said I felt somebody feeling my fanny.
- When you live in a small city Like washington, d.
C, you run into each other.
I love you.
- I love you too.
You look amazing.
- Oh, you do too.
- You're always hot.
- Oh, you too.
Michaele and tareq push my buttons.
But I don't ld bad energy.
It's just not worth to me.
- Congratulations.
And thanks for your partnership In the america's polo cup.
- List, it's the best.
- We love you.
- It seems like tareq and michaele Have used eir wine as a bit of a bartering system To get into places And to get to know important people.
All: Cheers! - That's my biggest pet peeve in this town, People doing charity just to promote themselves.
Social climbers.
- And I despise social climbing! - Ted, this is great! I'm having a good time.
- Are you having a good time? - Oh, my god.
I love all the people.
It's a huge turnout.
- In d.
C.
, there's a certain standard of integrity That you must demonstrate, Or else you're not gonna make it.
- Look at the oasis table.
It's got a huge line.
- Yeah.
- Love it.
Yeah, it's great.
- It's so much fun.
- Coming up next on the real housewives of d.
C - Michaele invited us to The congressional black caucus dinner.
We got tickets.
We're all gonna go together.
We show up at the event, And the invitation says, "admits one.
" - So loll, tell me about your job.
- How's it going? - It's going really well.
It's a lot of work.
I'm in charge of all the scheduling, I'm in charge of all the filing.
- You have health benefits too, yeah? - Yeah.
We're getting set up for that on Monday.
- Lolly has decided to take on a new job As an executive assistant.
- Do you have an office? - Mm-hmm.
I have my own desk, My own phone.
- It's like so grown up, lolly.
- I know.
I feel super grown up.
- Ah, ah, ah, ah.
The best part about the new job Is she can take kona to work with her.
So what's the deal with your apartment? Where do you think you wanna go, the - I don't know.
I like dupont circle.
- Are you putting the word out that you're looking for - Well, yeah.
- A roommate situation? - Thinking of living with jen and lauren and then They just got a two-bedroom house, And there's no room there.
And it's really expensive.
Their parents are payi for it, so - I want lolly to move out When she's padded herself a little financially.
I do want there to be a deadline.
You're gonna have to find something That's gonna accommodate Pets.
- Yeah.
I mean, there's lots of places you can have a dog.
I would rather have her in a house.
I hate living in an apartment.
- Yeah.
Lolly is always welcome to come home and recover And figure out what her path is.
Because I had children so young, I had to move back home.
And my family was there for me.
I wanna be there for lolly.
- Hello.
- Hi, cat, it's michaele.
How are you? - Hi, michaele.
How are you doing? - Doing well.
It was great to see you.
We had such a good time at paul's birthday And ted's dinner.
- Yeah, it was good fun.
- It's so good to see you.
I wanted to invite you this weekend ToTareq and I are gonna do that grape stomping.
We'd love you and your husband to come.
- UhWhen? Which day? - Saturday.
We're looking forward to having all the ladies out.
I wanna reach out to everyone-- Stacie, cat, lynda, and mary.
- I was supposed to be hooking up With a friend of mine, jason, this weekend.
Do you know jason, ted's colleague, yeah? - Yes, I love him.
I would absolutely love it if he could join us too.
- Can he come as well? - Absolutely.
I love jason.
- Okay, great.
And so have you got some wine for us this time, Or are we drinking beer again? - No, this time we're definitely pulling out all the wine.
- Great.
Okay.
Perfect.
- Oh, perfect.
Okay.
So We're gonna have a good time.
- See you Saturday.
- See you soon.
- Bye.
[beeping.]
- Hello.
- Hi, lynda, it's michaele.
How are you? - I'm doing fabulously well.
How are you? - Great.
Happy Thursday.
It's beautiful today.
- Oh, my gosh.
This is what we live for in washington.
- I know, the best weather.
It's beautiful.
I wanted to extend an invitation.
I'm having all the girls And their significant others or husbands Out to the vineyard for a grape stomp At 12:00 on Saturday.
- Well, that is so sweet of you, my dear.
Unfortunately, sam has a football game on Saturday.
- Oh, that's-- - so I'm definitively Going to be at his school watching him play.
- Oh, that's great.
- But that is very sweet.
You know, I really do appreciate the invitation.
I would love to see you without a big, giant crowd.
I would love that very much, Because I miss my old michaele.
I very much appreciate the invitation, And I really-- - Let's have lunch.
That would be fun.
I'd love that.
Take care.
See you soon.
Bye.
- If michaele had been a true friend to me, Of course I would be there.
But I prefer to reserve my energy and my time For people that I love and care about.
- Hello.
- Oh, this is so beautiful! - How about this store, guys? - Hey! - Hi! - One of my very best friends Has this fabulous contemporary furniture store in georgetown.
We're gonna be painting my dining room high gloss black.
- Really? - Mm-hmm.
- You're doing the walls Both: High gloss black.
- I decided that I was gonna just neutralize my house, Take it all white and all black, And then infuse it with some cool, funky pieces.
I mean, I think that chair is super sexy.
- I was envisioning you having something Much more luxurious and sexy and-- - But I also-- I'm cutting you off.
I explained to you - Latex walls? [laughter.]
Go on.
Sorry, darling.
Keep going.
I wouldn't want to sit in any of the chairs For more than about five minutes.
Especially with my knobbly bottom.
- Shh.
- Just shut up.
Just shut up! - This is my best friend's store.
We need to be - SoTo make it warm, sexy, intimate, that's not-- - Black and white is not warm and sexy, darling.
Think it's sexy if ythe dude From the ic m Thinghter.]
sexy if ythe dude I love your barware.
- Isn't it nice? Chic.
- Super chic.
- It's very chic.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
- To entrepreneurs.
- Yes, thank you.
To friends.
- UmOkay, I've been dying To tell you this story all day.
Michaele and her husband Invited us to go to The congressional black caucus dinner, Which was amazing.
And-- - it's one of the biggest Weekends for-- It is the biggest weekend for the african-american community.
- Yeah.
And she comes up to us and says, "you guys are in.
We got tickets.
"we're all gonna go together.
Get your tuxedos in order.
We're gonna have a great time.
" So we show up at the event, And they pull out the invitation, And the invitation says, "admits one.
" And we were like This is weird.
So I was like, "hey, this invitation says--" "oh, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry.
"when we get there, it's gonna be fine.
"let's just go through security, And it'll not be an issue.
" And we all ended up getting in.
- How did you get in? You just walked through? - Yeah.
They just - Shuttled you through.
- Yeah.
So the stage is here, And then there's the vip section that's all roped off here.
- It's all roped off because of the dignitaries that are there, Like the president.
.
[laughs.]
- Like the president of the United States.
We just are standing while they're sitting down And introducing themselves to everyone at the table.
And they stand up and come over and they say, "this is what we're gonna do.
"we'll go around the room, "and any place that we see people that aren'tSitting, "take two or three napkins out of the glasses, And set them on the chair.
" Because they're always at these events.
People don't show up, and so there's always empty seats.
- That's my idea of hell on earth.
- Yeah.
I helped ted and jason Get introduced to some of the important people in d.
C.
It does not look good For them to be sneaking into any parties, Especially when the secret service is involved.
- I'm like sweating.
Panicking.
Thinking, "oh, my god.
How in the world did I end up in this situation?" At the same time, michaele is working the room, Finding people that she knows, saying, "do you know If there's people that haven't shown up for this table?" - I'm really embarrassed for everybody.
I don't know about you, but I'm really - So all of a sudden, Five or six secret service guys Come over and tap them on the shoulder, And they're like, "you can't be here.
You need to leave.
" - to them.
- To them.
They're getting escorted out by Security.
- Secret service.
- Secret service.
- The president's detail.
- Yes.
And then we don't really see anything of them.
- Meanwhile, you're like, "I don't really know them.
I'm at this table with" - like, la la la la la.
[laughter.]
- I was amazed at michaele and tareq Sneaking into the black caucus dinner, Because I wouldn't even go to a charles tea party Unless I was invited.
So they got escorted out.
- Even while they're getting escorted out, They're like - Still handing out business cards.
- Laughing - And they're taking Their wine glass and bottle - Honestly, I've never in my life seen anything like it.
- Brazen.
- Fascinating.
- Did you say brazen? - Yeah.
- It's perfect.
That word is perfect.
- I say to ted, I'm like, "I wonder what happened to them.
" He goes, "look right over there.
" Inside the vip - Oh, don't tell me they managed to be thrown out And then back in somewhere else.
- In the vip.
Through the whole evening.
- I cannot wrap my head around the idea That tareq and michaele Attend events they're not invited to And are at every fabulous party.
I don't get it.
- Coming up next on the real housewives of d.
C - YouSnuck in To the congressional black caucus dinner? - Oh, no! - Yeah, and then--yeah.
- Got everything? - I think so.
Oh, man, this is gonna be a great trip.
- I wonder what their vineyard looks like, Relative to sugarleaf.
- I know.
That's such a good question.
I'm really gonna be interested to see that.
- Tareq and michaele invited us to their vineyard, oasis, In order to stomp grapes.
So I'm so excited to finally see this vineyard That I've read about, that I've heard about.
- Hey, hey.
- Hi! - How are you? - Good.
- Hey, lady.
- Hello, darling.
- How you doing? Ooh, I love this.
- There you go.
- Let's do it.
- Cheers.
- Do we get to take a tour of the whole vineyard? That would be fun.
- Has anybody been there? Everyone looking around.
Has anybody been to where we're going? - Looks good.
We're back.
Here it is.
- The first grape stomp since our victory.
- Yeah.
[both laughing.]
The significance of today's grape stomp Is huge for us.
This is the first time we're actually having guests To the winery since the ruling from the judge.
Tareq's mom, for a period, had filed a lawsuit Trying to have him removed from the winery.
And it took 2 1/2 years of litigating, And I'm just grateful to the judge for stopping it.
So we're really happy to host our new friends and guests And do a grape stomp like old times.
The mother has a reporter.
- Yeah, I think local-- - local--like a news guy.
- Yeah, just so you know.
- Okay.
No media's allowed.
- Okay.
- Corinne, tareq's mom, had called a reporter.
She's done that many times.
Uh, cory or jen, did you see tareq? - No, I have not.
- Security told me, He said that there's press media here with your mom.
- Oh, they can't be-- - so they can't, yeah.
It's not open, but we would love the press in the fall.
And we love the media.
We need them.
They've been a great support.
But just not today.
It's just friends.
- Today is the wrong day.
- Yeah.
Wrong day.
- Every family has family drama.
Ours is a little more dramatic.
My mother, she tries to disrupt these events That michaele and I may do.
Hello! Stacie, jason, it's tareq calling from oasis winery.
We are so looking forward to seeing you.
Hey, look, do me a favor.
When you guys pull up in your limo, Please pull up to the right side of the winery.
We've had some interesting developments with my mother Trying to disturb the day and, you know, We really want to make sure you're safe And, you know, protected.
We've got some security here.
So please bring the limo up, and we can't wait to see you And welcome you with a glass of oasis chardonnay.
Cheers.
- OhMy god! - What, what, what, what, what? - Did you hear that? - No, no, no.
- Apparently, his mother is trying to intercede With us coming to visit, And that he has security to let us in.
What the hell? - We're going somewhere where there's security With the police.
- Security? This is crazy! - Nothing adds up about those guys and - My main motivation to going out to that grape stomp Is to see what the actual truth is out there.
What is going on out there? - Hey, guys.
- Hey! - How are ya? Good to see ya.
Great to see you.
- The team in the force again.
- 1, 2, 3-- all: Oasis! [whooping.]
- I still have to change.
- Have you all ever seen michaele separate from tareq? - Never.
Never.
- I have at the salon.
- The only time is when she was behind the counter at nordstrom Selling me makeup in the '90s Before she met him.
- The first time that I-- and I'm interested to hear What they said about this night, About the black congressional caucus dinner.
- Oh, yeah, I saw the pictures.
It looked fabulous.
It seemed like you guys had a great time.
- We had a great time.
It was amazing.
After we snuck in and had no tickets.
- What do you mean, snuck in? - YouSnuck in To the congressional black caucus dinner? - Snuck in.
- Why would you sneak in? - Nobody had tickets.
And there was this whole story going on about Our friends were supposed to meet us here.
They have the tickets.
They're on their way.
And everything was happening very, very quickly.
And we, like, saw a busboy coming out from a side door, And we snuck in the side door.
- Oh, no! - Yeah, and that--yeah.
And then these guys left them.
- To sneak into the congressional black caucus That president obama was appearing at-- It's just rude.
It's just disrespectful.
Especially to the african-american community.
Who does that? We don't go places where we're not supposed to be.
- I think because stacie just met tareq and michaele That she doesn't have any idea The way they roll.
- Don't panic.
- No, I am tripping! Imagine that we just spent, you know, Like, two Two whole days with them.
I felt like I got to know them really well.
And then all this [bleep.]
that you all are saying Completely flies in the face of everything I've been told Or that I've heard, so-- And then all of a sudden I get a call about security When I think I'm going for a lovely afternoon in virginia.
So I'm like, what the hell? I mean, it's just not adding up.
I'm gonna have to call him.
I just have to call.
Literally, I got two young kids.
I can't be walking into something crazy In the middle of virginia with security.
I am too old for that.
Tareq? - Hey, it's stacie.
How you doing? - We are.
So tell me, what's going on? What's your mom's shenanigans? What's happening? - Tareq.
- Listen, are we safe to come down to your place? [beeping.]
- Aah! - AhYes! [laughter.]
- Coming up next - We're in the middle of virginia.
Why should there be any security threats? It's quite bizarre to have security here In the middle of nowhere.
- Honey, men just need boot camp, period.
I mean, seriously, about everything.
All the men I've ever met in my life need boot camp.
They just need simple training.
If you don't, like, get in their face and say, "here's all the reasons why you need to behave.
" - And you do that.
- Yeah.
And--and-- - I could help teach.
- [chuckling.]
I don't think so, darling.
Boot camp 101 is Learn to read your text messages, And if you can't read, listen.
- I was.
- No, you weren't.
You were watching basketball or baseball.
Ooh, who's winning the world series right now? - I have no clue.
- Yes, you do.
Don't tell me a story.
- I don't know! - Are you serious? - Yeah! Baby, when I'm with you, Nothing else matters.
- Darling, that's such horse[bleep.]
.
But you know what, by the way? Did you learn that in boot camp 101? 'cause I'm all about that.
- World series? What world series? - Oh, honey, what's the world series? Honey - You know, my mom is unpredictable.
You never know what she's gonna do.
So we've got a couple extra security there Just to watch over the place.
- When we first arrived at the vineyard, I was surrounded by what I thought were secret service With black, dark shades and, uh, earpieces.
- Hey! They're here.
Hey.
- We're in the middle of virginia, You know, for god's sake.
Why should there be any security threats anyway? - Welcome to oasis.
- How are ya, cat? - Welcome.
- Welcome to oasis winery.
- Welcome to oasis.
Oh, my gosh, I love you.
- You look amazing.
- Hey, mary, how are you? Great to see you.
Welcome to oasis.
- Love the sweater.
- How are you? - Nice to see you.
Thanks for coming, up, beautiful.
- Hey, michaele, let's invite everyone For a glass of chardonnay.
Cheers, cheers.
Welcome to oasis winery.
Great to see you.
- This is great.
- Are we stomping red grapes or - Red.
Here's the basic rule.
You've gotta make 3 gallons of wine.
- Is it a contest? - If you-- If you make 3 gallons of wine, Each one of you get a bottled wine of your choice.
- You know, tareq, I like how you doing it, man.
You got all the senses going.
We got sight, smell, taste.
Know I'm missing a couple, but y'all know what I mean.
[laughter.]
- I was pretty upset that, you know, the fact That there was obviously something going down.
You know, why are we pretending That everything's absolutely fine, And there's your mother on the terrace there, You know, and we've got security around us And we're in the middle of virginia? Yoknow, let--let's be real.
It's quite bizarre to have security here In the middle of nowhere.
- Um - I mean, What's going on? - We're excited you're here.
We're happy to have that behind us.
- Okay, well, it was only 15 minutes ago for us, So it's not that far behind.
- Oh.
- Anyway - Can I have a little more, please? [laughter.]
[overlapping chatter.]
- The ground rules down there in the barrel-- You've got two minutes to stomp grapes.
- Two minutes - Hey, jason, pay attention.
- Oh, sorry.
Sorry, sorry.
[laughter.]
[whistle blows.]
[laughing.]
- Tareq, every time I see you, I work you out more and more, And the fact that you're within friends And you find it necessary to carry a whistle Says it all.
You are a control freak.
[laughter.]
You've got a whistle around your neck, Like, you know What's that for? - Wait till you see what happens.
- Just give love.
Give respect.
Let's listen to what the rules are.
- Ah.
Give love.
Give love.
- When we get in the barrel, We being three of the ladies - I think he's pointing at you.
- Are you stomping? - No, I'm not.
- Cat says she's not gonna do it.
- No, I'm not stomping.
I'm spectating.
- No, you're stomping.
- No, I'm not, And even with your whistle, you won't get me stomping.
But thank you anyway.
- Okay, so gimme the rules.
- I'm watching.
I'm not stomping.
- I tell you what.
When we're down there, you're blowing the whistle.
- Are you telling me I'm blowing the whistle, Or are you asking me if I'd like to blow the whistle? - I'm gonna ask you if you'd like to blow the whistle.
- Were you a teacher in your old life? - Let's go do it.
All right, guys.
Let's go down to the pavilion.
- I hate being bossed about.
I don't boss people about.
I hate being bossed about.
- Ladies, please take off your shoes.
I want you to please step over here.
- Okay, we're like putting - Is this my life? Is this my life? - I think it is.
[laughing.]
- All right, listen up.
Gotta blow the whistle on you guys.
Come over here, whistle-blower.
You're gonna be blowing the whistle.
- Tareq, I know you're american, but But, well, let's have some manners.
- Cat-- - let's just move forward.
Okay, move forward.
- Love! Let's love everybody.
- Let's love everybody.
- Love is better than being bitchy towards everybody.
[dramatic note.]
- We were all like-- [gasps.]
Oh! Oh, okay.
- You generally don't expect your service provider To call the customer a bitch.
But keeping it real-- cat was being a bitch.
- Oh, my.
Now I'm accused of being bitchy.
It just gets better.
- Please step into the barrel? - Just step in there, honey.
- Just step in there? - Hold my hand.
[overlapping chatter, whooping.]
- Ooh, they're cold! Oh, my god, mary.
- I'm really cold.
- When I stepped up onto that platform, I saw A couple of crates Of thompson's seedless table grapes That I have in my refrigerator.
- I knew the second I saw them They were not vine grapes.
They were supermarket grapes.
- You guys have the option to do this clothed or not clothed.
What do you guys want? [laughing.]
- We're not gonna ke your day today, okay? We are not gonna make your day today.
- All right.
On your marks Get set [whistle blows.]
[whooping.]
- Go, go! - And then there was this whole competitive edge That tareq wanted to throw into the mix.
- How many seconds? - It was ridiculous.
- 40 seconds.
- Don't do it! [overlapping chatter.]
- 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
[whistle blows.]
[whooping.]
- Well done! - Whoo! - Tareq, you set us up.
- There was not one ounce Of liquid produced from that grape stomp.
Not one drop.
[overlapping chatter.]
- That was fun.
- Mary [chattering.]
- The grape stomp was a lot of fun.
Cat kind of stayed to the back And I kind of wondered Well, if you're not gonna be a part of it, Why did you come? - There wasn't one grape that was from virginia.
There wasn't one grape that wasn't from the supermarket.
- I think cat didn't want to get dirty, But it's not really-- you don't really get dirty.
You know? It's just some grape juice, and it doesn't-- See how it doesn't stain? - At least it's a nice day for bollocks.
I told you my patience is really running thin.
- That was really great.
- Bollocks! - All right, gang, let's go.
Follow us.
- it's all bollocks round here - That was really cool.
It really looked good.
- It did.
- It really did.
- I'm really pleased everyone else is faking it, 'cause you sure as hell are doing a really good job, 'cause I can't fake it.
- Who cares? - I know, I know.
- Yeah, whatever.
- Yeah, but the grapes were-- - WhoCares? - It was fun.
- I had fun.
- But I'm leaving.
- What do you mean, you're leaving? I'm coming with you.
- Are you coming with me? - Yes, I so am.
Don't you think You're going anywhere without me.
- Jason had an important event in d.
C.
, And so we always knew that he had to leave.
But cat decided to leave with him.
- How does the song go? - Bollocks, darling! Bollocks! - Cat does not care if she's offensive or not.
And I think it's best for everyone That she goes home.
- Always love you.
Thank you so much for coming.
- What, is cat leaving too? - Yeah.
- Cat's leaving too.
- Really? - Thanks for coming.
- Great to see you.
- Bye, now.
You're very passionate, tareq.
I'll give you that.
All: Cheers.
- Hey, cheers.
Welcome.
Welcome to oasis.
It's great to have you here in our barrel room.
This is what we're great at here at oasis.
- It's fun.
- Entertaining.
- Entertaining.
- Friends enjoying a glass of wine And increasing your bond together.
- I wish cat could have stayed.
- Yeah, why didn't she stay? - Jason I knew had an event, but - Who knows? Cat If she gets the sense that she's not into it, She's just gonna cut it off.
- She treated you kind of rough And said you were controlling or whatever.
- She says whatever the hell she wants, And she forms opinions very quickly.
- But it's not good to insult people, don't you think? Or do you feel good about that? - I-I-I-- My position is you don't judge.
- You never insult.
No.
- What did she do to insult? I just--I don't know.
- I think you were there.
- Control freak? - Yeah.
- She's got an edge to her and, I mean, That's just the way she is.
- Well, you all have been beyond hospitable.
- Thank you.
- We must celebrate What's going on right here, right now.
- Yes, good.
- That's right.
- It's not about who's not here.
It's about who's here.
- I'm with you.
I'm with you.
- More egg rolls for us.
- I like that! - We like to live in the moment, people.
- Boom! It's a lot of clinking going on, And that's what's up.
- So what happened on the ride out? Was it fun? What happened in the limo? What? Share.
- Jason had a story.
Something about the Congressional black caucus dinner And - And basically he said that they were invited-- And they were invited by you all as guests, And when they got there, they didn't have tickets.
So they were embarrassed and mortified And couldn't understand how they had been invited To an event without tickets.
- We did have a ticket.
It's just his seat was over in this section, And he wanted to move to the other section.
- Yeah.
- No one gets in to where the president speaks Without tickets.
- It's a little difficult for some white folks to like Sneak into the congressional black caucus like - You're always cool.
- Undetected.
I mean, like That's like me going-- That's like stacie sneaking into The daughters of the american revolution dinner.
"I'm gonna sneak in through the kitchen.
" - And it's not gonna be like-- - "they won't notice me.
" Like what-- I'm sorry.
[laughter.]
- no.
- Mary, gimme your glass, girl.
- That is great.
I love it.
- We gotta toast up.
- That is very funny.
- There's two sides to every story.
So who knows what the truth is.
- Okay, so that was the The craziness in your limo ride.
Talking about us.
That's good.
My mom said if they're not talking about you, Then you're not out there, soIt's good to be out there.
- [chuckles.]
you were out there.
- If you wanna talk about me, that's good.
I'm okay with that.
- IBelieve in building people up.
I don't like to talk about people.
If I have anything negative to say, I'm not gonna say it.
- That's the right thing.
That's what I told your girlfriend lynda.
If you don't have anything nice to say, Don't say it at all.
Remember, at the party I threw for paul? - I don't know lynda very well-- - I don't know her that well either.
- She seems very nice to me.
- Right.
- But obviously, you all have a history.
- That's your best friend, So maybe you could tell me why - She's one of my dearest friends.
I don't have a best friend.
- Oh, okay, dearest friend.
You know, at paul's party-- - I have dear friends.
- I couldn't understand why she would belittle me at-- She's my guest at that party.
- Tell me how she belittled you.
- Well, to say I need protein, I'm too skinny, I'm anorexic.
That's kind of rough.
- She didn't bring it up that night--you did.
- Because paul said she and her were talking about me.
- But the fact that it was raised at that party Was inappropriate.
- No, what I said was-- they were talking, And I said, "oh, I heard you talking about me.
" Why are you talking to him about me? - Because I'm allowed to talk to him.
- But talk to me.
If it's something about me-- - Excuse me-- - no, excuse me.
- No, excuse me.
- You know lynda.
- Not really.
I never thought she'd do that.
- You've known lynda for a long time.
- I don't know her anymore.
- LyndaAlways has the best intentions For everyone.
And she adores you, michaele.
- Really? - I Know lynda.
I wouldn't take it as an insult.
- She pointed at me and said, "you need a burger and fries.
You're too skinny.
What are you, anorexic?" And then what did she say? She said, "I have a lot more coming for you.
" - But I think it was probably A comment made out of love and concern for you.
- I don't think so.
- See, she's shaking her head too.
- No, I agree with what you're saying there.
Like, I don't think that lynda's trying to be malicious.
But to say she has your best intentions-- That's bull[bleep.]
.
- If you make fun of me, I'm gonna say, why are you doing that? What's unhappy about you that you feel good That you're gonna make fun of someone Whether they're thin or fat? - I believe that too.
- Lynda doesn't really Know how to be a friend, I think.
I was very hurt when she didn't come.
I thought, after insulting me, It was time that she just did something nice.
But she's her dear friend, so let's switch the topic.
Let's enjoy the food.
Let's find something new to talk about, And life's too short.
- Coming up next - I heard in the suite you, lynda, and cat Took great enjoyment making fun of me.
- There's--there's one There's one scenario that I have to ask you about.
- Anything.
- So at the ted gibson dinner Now, all of a sudden, I leaned forward And I looked over, and I hear you going, "ask mary.
She likes to talk about people.
" - Oh, I don't remember saying that.
- And I went "oh, my gosh.
" - I don't remember saying that.
- I just don't wanna be that girl to you.
I don't talk negatively - Well, I hope You're never that girl.
- About people.
- Right.
- You just have no idea - Right.
I think I heard-- - What is going on in someone's life.
You can't just bash them.
You can't-- - who bashed you, love? - I don't know, but I heard you say to - Oh, that's right, because stacie mentioned That you in the suite - "why don't you ask mary? She likes to talk about people.
" - Right.
I heard in the suite you, lynda, and cat Took great enjoyment making fun of me.
So hearing that-- - I was not making fun of you.
- Mary wasn't a part of that.
- Oh, she wasn't a part of it.
It was the other two ladies.
- No.
Mary didn't say anything.
- Okay, so it wasn't mary.
- Me and mary were just sitting there And getting our makeup done - Oh - I don't make fun of people.
- Jason came in, And he was talking about the seating arrangement For the dinner.
He said to lynda, you know, I'm making the seating chart, and she just made a comment That, "I would prefer not to be seated Next to michaele.
" - Okay.
- And it was just A little conversation About the, um - I have no--I have no history that's negative.
- But now you do, because you were part of that suite Where they were making fun of me.
- I wasn't even In earshot of this.
- She wasn't? - Well, you were in earshot, But you didn't participate.
- No, I didn't participate.
- You didn't participate at all.
- Baby, I didn't hear it.
- I think I might have been In the bathroom with ted getting my hair done At that point.
- No, no.
- When I had heard that, I was like, wow.
- I don't talk about people.
- So it was just your two friends cat and lynda.
- I don't talk about people negatively.
- Well, that makes me feel better.
- That's amazing.
- So it was just the two of them you were both saying.
- I'm about building people.
- I hope so.
I was glad I didn't come get my hair done.
- You have something to say! Seriously, you have something to say.
I am listening.
- All right, so I'm just gonna say something outside-- I mean, I don't know every detail about everything, But I'm just gonna say something.
- I had no idea what was comin' down the pike.
Get to the point.
- On the next real housewives of d.
C - So you--you are directly implicating my daughter.
- This is very serious.
I'm not taking this lightly.
There's a federal investigation going on.
- The fbi? - Everybody's going to jail.
- I don't know what the [bleep.]
is going on.
- It's not funny anymore.
[siren.]
- I'm working on healthcare, healthcare reform.
- Good luck with that.
- Yes.
- I wanted to invite you to an event that I'm having.
- Edwina, I would love to be a part of it.
Is cat coming as well? - Oh, my gosh, sarah palin.
Am I imagining things? - Cat has balls of steel.
Has she lost her mind? - And it is her.
- It is! Sub made possible by AdrianoCSI