The Serpent Queen (2022) s01e04 Episode Script

1
Previously on "The Serpent Queen"
From now on, anyone
lays a hand on my maid
answers to me.
How does it feel to teach them a lesson?
It feels good.
Of course it does.
Don't you understand?
We will both be out
unless you give Henri a son.
I've tried everything.
Will you let me help you?
I suggest that the couple
make love en levrette.
Well, that should do the trick. Mm?
Good night.
Let's hope that did the trick.
You ride well, I notice.
You do most things well, don't you?
Someone wishes my wife ill.
Henri, do you really believe
that your brother would do such a thing?
I must get pregnant.
I'll pay what's required.
Are you sure about that?
I need a minute.
Find the man who killed my son.
Was it you or your dressmaker?
Please, please!
I did everything I could.
Did you?
With Ruggieri, there's always a price.
Your new dauphine, who is with child.
In a week's time, my second son
will be crowned king of France.
Does he look like a king to you?
- Uh!
- Oh!
I will do everything in my power
to make sure that it doesn't happen.
As the king's widow,
the throne is rightfully mine.
Now, where was I?
You'll pay for what you done to me
when Mary's queen again.
Mary?
Her husband, the king, is dead.
In a few days, his younger
brother will ascend the throne.
Everyone knows that witch
is behind what happened to the king.
That she'd do that
to her own flesh and blood.
The two of you deserve each other.
Shall I tell the queen
that is your opinion?
Me?
I have no opinion.
You must have misunderstood.
Must have.
You missed a spot.
Well?
Thought so.
Show us your tits.
Shame it's raining.
I was hoping for a walk after breakfast.
Looks like it might clear up.
Let's hope so.
I'm tired of being indoors.
Does Mary have a claim to the throne?
My son, Charles IX, will be king.
But he's so young.
And I will be there to protect him.
And not Mary?
Who have you been speaking to?
One of the girls said something.
The one you maimed?
Pay it no mind.
Mary's grief-stricken
over the death of my son.
She even blames me for it.
How did your son, the king, die?
We'll get to that in time.
The agony of losing a child,
it never fades.
Fifteen years had passed.
I had spent my youth
behind the palace walls.
Fifteen years and nine children.
Mary had been with us
almost her entire childhood
on account of her betrothal
to our eldest son.
He was besotted by her.
We had settled
into an unusual domesticity.
My husband shared my bed
and that of his mistress.
Longer next time.
Breathe normally.
And push again.
Push, push.
Yeah.
Bring me a blade.
Do as I say, woman!
- Doctor, what is it?
- No!
What is it?
The child is inverted
in the birth canal.
If we do not break its limb,
- the mother will die.
- Then
- No!
- Then do it.
- No!
- Do it. Shh, shh.
You do what you must, Doctor.
- Henri
- Please no, no, no.
- Shh, shh.
- No!
Hold her down.
Hold her down. Catherine. Catherine.
Please, please.
Have courage. Have courage.
Have courage, please.
- Hold her still.
- No!
Soon, I felt a heavy fog settle over me.
There were days when I began
to doubt my existence.
Not to mention my sanity.
There had been other changes at court.
Ruggieri had disappeared from my life.
He left me his mirror
to remember him by.
At the time,
I was grateful for his absence.
Thank you, sir.
Montmorency
had not been seen for many years.
Some say he was fighting
for money in Flanders.
Charles of Bourbon had retired
to his country seat
to tend to his wife's beloved gardens.
Pig fucker.
The First Duke of Guise
Hail Mary, full of grace
had also left
his Privy Council position
and dedicated himself
to his Catholic faith,
ultimately succumbing
in the act of prayer.
The duke's sons,
who took his place at court,
were more enterprising.
What is it?
If it's that fucking cardinal,
I'll blow his balls off.
Don't do anything stupid.
Pierre
You can go back to sleep
if you'd rather.
I knew we should never have
moved to the country.
Morning.
What is the meaning of this?
I've already told you
I'm not selling you my house.
Yes. Yes, you did, sadly.
So now we're seizing Chateau Chenonceau
for unpaid taxes.
I've paid my taxes.
No, you didn't.
Not the new ones.
By order of the Catholic Church.
That's you.
Oh, yeah. So it is.
If I were you, Pierre,
I'd consider myself
really fucking lucky,
'cause word is you've been seen
consorting with Protestants.
There's no law against it.
Not yet. Not yet.
What about you?
You in on this?
Apparently.
I thought you were a man of honor.
Well, that's the thing about honor
So difficult to define, don't you think?
Right, enough
of the chitchat. What's it gonna be?
A, do you surrender the house?
Or B, do we take it?
You choose. Which one?
Come on. Clear it out.
- Told you.
- Fuck's sake!
What is that?
A wager that I wouldn't
have to kill you.
That he wouldn't have to kill you.
Do you see what happened there?
My brother bet on your cowardice
and I bet on your courage.
You should be fucking flattered.
The king will hear of this!
Ah, I think you'll find the king's busy.
The king, however, was like me,
a stranger to his daily routines.
Oh, fuck it.
Hey.
It doesn't matter.
Of course it matters.
The only reason people say
it doesn't matter is because
it fucking matters!
In fact, I'm pretty sure
nothing else matters quite as much.
Do you want to play ancient pharaohs?
Ah oh, it's pointless.
Well, I love you just as always.
You know, maybe you
shouldn't waste your time
with an old man like me anymore.
Well, maybe something is troubling you.
Oh, I wonder what.
Maybe it's the fact that my
dick is sitting here
like a dead fucking slug.
Because something is bothering you.
When your mind is free,
you are as energetic as a boy.
Yeah, well, I'm not a boy.
I'm an old man,
an old king.
And like most old kings
I have my regrets.
What kind of king
do you think Henri will make
when I'm gone?
I fear his attachment
to Diane de Poitiers may make him weak.
And you wonder why my mind is not free.
Ha!
I blame his mother.
When the Holy Roman Emperor
locked him up,
she used to weep day and night
for her sons.
Nothing I said, nothing I did
would make her stop.
Got to the point where I couldn't stand
the sight of her.
Hm.
I watched her fade away
to almost nothing,
die of a broken heart.
Truth is, not a day goes by
I don't regret my treatment of her.
And that's what worries you?
Fear for your boy.
Regret for your dead wife.
Yes.
And what about me?
You?
I-I've always been good to you.
Yes, you have
in your way.
Because I put paint on my face
to hide my age,
forego children
to keep my body youthful,
and restrict my breathing with corsets
because I know this is how you like me.
But what happens when you decide
I am no longer worth fucking?
Oh, come on.
I'll always take care of you
Not when you're dead and gone.
There's an age difference
between you and I,
if you hadn't noticed.
I am not family.
I know what I am. I'm disposable.
Oh, stop it.
Oh, for God's sake, don't act
like you don't know how this works.
You've arranged it this way.
I've had enough of this.
You come here of your own free will!
Free will?
Who has any free will
around here except maybe you?
What's gotten into you?
Nothing.
I know what I entered into.
I've never lied to myself about it.
So I would appreciate it
if you would do the same.
Rather than standing there
and telling me
you weep over your poor dead wife
for whom you never gave the
slightest fuck while she was alive.
Honesty has always
been your only quality.
Don't give it up now.
Blessed is the man
that walketh not in the council
of the ungodly
nor standeth in the way of sins
nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful,
but his delight is in the love
of the Lord.
And he shall be like a tree
That's him.
Are you sure?
The Bourbons, too,
had assumed their father's place
on the Privy Council.
Let's go.
Their plan for advancement
seemed to be disrupting
any plans the Guises made.
Pierre Marques, isn't it?
- It is.
- Big fans.
Mm.
Heard you've had a spot of trouble
with a certain member of the clergy.
And what would the Bourbon
princes of the blood
care about my plight?
We are your fellow religious.
Of course we care.
As we do about all our fellow
sheep.
We-we also have a great respect
for members of the Third Estate.
Of course you do.
Because we have money.
Uh, no.
Uh, because you are the future.
Maybe we could be of help to you.
How exactly?
We hear you're an enterprising man
with various schemes
and projects abroad,
and we have connections at the court.
Surely we could discover
some utility in each other
if only we took the time to,
uh, break the ice.
Come see us when you're
more disposed to it.
Lovely service. Very moving.
Mm.
Right, that's enough of this.
Time to get out of this room.
People are talking.
They say you're dying.
You might want to remind
your husband you still exist.
Unless you want to lose him
to Diane altogether.
Not to mention the children
you have who are still alive.
They might like to know
they have a mother.
Don't know why you bothered
having them otherwise.
Not like you to give maternal advice.
It's an obvious point.
Thought maybe you were
regretting certain choices.
You can't regret something
that never was.
Not according to Ruggieri.
You may wash me.
Oh, come here, you.
Oh, I'm gonna get you.
Hello, cousin.
Would you like to join us?
You're mine. You're mine.
I'm glad to see you up.
I had the cook make biscuits.
They're sugar and lemon,
their favorite.
Unfortunately, Mary has decided
sweets aren't permitted before lunch.
Well, surely we can make an exception.
She is very strict.
They won't dare disobey her.
Perhaps if you leave them,
I'll make sure everyone gets theirs.
All right, children.
Time to go inside.
Come along.
Good to see you up and about.
Feeling a bit better?
Yes.
Good, good.
I'm sorry.
I haven't been feeling myself lately.
No, no, no, no. You don't have
to apologize. You lost a son.
- We lost a son.
- Yes.
I am aware.
Perhaps we can be a comfort
to one another.
Will you come and see me tonight?
Yes, of course.
Okay.
Who's next?
Diane?
Henri, you're crazy.
I should've known
that our arrangement could not last.
Father, the, um,
the Bourbons would like to lodge
an official complaint
of the conduct of the Duke
and Cardinal of Guise.
What's new?
My dear cousins have taken
to seizing the homes
of prominent Protestants.
You've heard of Chenonceau?
Many regard it as the most
beautiful house in all of France.
Cardinal Guise has now
claimed it for himself.
It's not for him, it's for the church.
And who's going to live in it? The poor?
May I remind you that was a law
signed by the king himself.
Hmm?
I don't remember that.
And yet you did sign it, Your Majesty.
Yes, because you're constantly
buzzing around me like a fucking gnat
with pieces of paper.
I'm sure the compulsive
accumulation of country homes
is a natural side effect
of social inadequacy,
but resentment will build
amongst the populace.
Your Majesty, I'm simply
on the side of tradition.
Yeah. The nouveau riche always are.
Then consider us on the side
of what is good for this country.
Fucking hell.
- That's revolting.
- Ah, no.
Ugh.
- Oh!
- Ah!
How do you expect me to eat
when you're bickering like women?
You two haven't a fucking clue
what's good for the country.
And you don't care.
All you care about is yourselves,
the same as these two!
Now, you can keep the house you stole.
To keep the peace,
the House of Bourbon
will take the property
of the Duke of Nemours,
a Catholic pederast
who died without legitimate heirs.
Your Majesty,
I have to object to that
The meeting is over!
Oh, dear. Are you all right?
You have to chew your food.
You are here. Excellent.
Disaster averted.
There's nothing worse
than Prime without a fourth.
So nice of you to join.
Do you know Antoinette of Guise?
She's returned to the court
since the untimely death of her husband.
As a comfort to my sons.
Unyielding in her devotion, really.
I hear you might become a
permanent member of our little club.
Then it's true?
You are to be spared
your husband's attentions?
My God. What a relief that must be.
Ten children.
I mean, you should be sainted.
I don't know how you managed.
The day my husband ceased
his stumbles into my bedchamber
were the happiest days of my life.
He was a simple man.
Yes.
I saw my future waiting for me
like an open grave.
Please excuse me.
I-I just remembered a prior engagement.
No.
A meeting with my dressmaker.
Catherine used to have
the most brilliant dressmaker.
Well, of course you all
remember him, the Italian.
My husband had his limbs pulled off.
Unfortunate.
I really am sorry. I must go.
Oh, don't insult us with false manners.
Just say it.
You find us dull.
I do not.
You shroud yourself in your pain
in order to feel special.
Well, you're not.
The rest of us just bear it
better than you.
Would you like to know why I'm here?
My brother, the Holy Roman Emperor,
made the king's marriage to me
a condition of peace
after one of their silly wars.
I am no more than a punishment.
Then again, maybe you are special,
because I was never
stupid enough to fall in love
with the man I was arranged to.
I wouldn't wish that misery on anyone.
Not that it is any of your business
but I am perfectly content
with the relationship with my husband.
Oh, my dear. No one believes that.
No.
Not even you.
King of hearts for you.
Oh, sneaky.
- Queen.
- And another one.
Catherine, can't you sleep?
I came for you.
I was expecting you.
Didn't you tell her
Tell me what?
I haven't had the chance.
Henri? Tell me what?
Cousin, I am so sorry
to have to be the one
to convey such difficult news.
Dr. Fernel says it was a miracle
you survived the birth.
If you were to ever get pregnant again,
we might not be so lucky.
We can't take the risk.
We don't want to lose you.
Do we, Henri?
No.
No, of course not.
Diane
I would like to be alone
with my husband.
Can you please leave us?
That was not the arrangement.
I tolerated the nights
you spent together
when children were the result.
You tolerated?
You tolerated?
I am his wife!
And a wife is for making children.
You are free to find pleasure elsewhere
if that is what you desire.
Make no mistake,
Henri belongs with me.
Well, why don't we ask Henri
what he desires?
Sure. Henri?
Henri.
Come.
What can I say?
I'm where I want to be.
Though my life was no longer in danger,
I now felt the possibility of
it slipping away altogether.
I didn't know it then,
but the king would be
the source of my preservation.
Catherine. Catherine.
What is it?
The king has requested
your presence for a hunt.
What, now?
Yes. Now.
Thought you two were done
with each other.
It was cold.
The princess needs
to be dressed for a hunt.
Now?
Yes. Now.
Fuck's sake.
Get up.
Morning.
Why so fucking early?
Does he think the stags will die
of old age if we go out after lunch?
I hate hunting.
Oh, you don't have the stomach for it?
On the contrary, I just don't understand
why I have to chase around
my dinner and kill it myself.
That's why God invented servants.
I, on the other hand,
love an early hunt.
Well, it doesn't surprise me.
Slaughter of small animals
probably gets you in the mood.
I wonder what gets you in the mood.
Hand job off your mother
usually does the trick.
She likes a bit of rough trade.
Does she?
Ah!
A great day for it, hmm?
You sure this is a good idea?
If you're not feeling up to it,
there is no shame in calling it off.
Of course I'm up to it.
Well, if you're not,
maybe you should stay
and work on your needlepoint with Diane.
Oh, come on!
Ha!
Whoa.
Why'd you let him go?
I don't know.
Anyway,
I can always come back
and kill him tomorrow.
Hmm?
Ah.
There you are.
We were worried.
Perhaps you should try to keep up.
Got away, did he?
Of course not, you prick.
Obviously, the king let him go.
Henri!
Father, speak to me.
Father, speak to me, please.
We need some help, please.
Get help!
Is that Catherine?
Yeah.
I'd like to speak with her.
Everyone will try to take
advantage of my death.
But you will be the real winner.
Wait and see.
You must promise me
not to give up on Henri
because of that woman.
He-he needs a wife, not a mother.
He needs you.
He doesn't have the backbone
to rule alone.
The trick is don't ever show favor. Hmm?
No matter who you think is right.
Keep the Bourbons and the Guises
fighting each other.
That way, your position
will always be secure.
Ah, you get it. You-you get it, I know.
Everything will come right
when you're crowned queen.
I promise you.
Thank you for your kindness.
Henri.
When you are king,
you will put this fine woman
on your Privy Council.
Yeah.
You-you have my word, Father.
She-she will be our salvation.
With the king gone,
those he had protected
had no choice but to leave.
Now is the time to exert influence.
Yes, Mother.
With the old man gone,
there will be a feeding frenzy.
Don't let yourself be passed
over like your father did.
Are you listening?
I am, not that I need to.
Heard it all before.
We both have.
Then you should have no trouble
doing what I tell you.
Diane is the one you have to court.
She will not let her influence
on the new king slip now.
If she'd had the good sense
to be born a man,
the game would be almost over.
Painful, isn't it?
You loved him more than anyone,
and now there is no place
for you in his story.
Your time will come, you know.
What you don't understand about me
is that everything I've done
is to make sure I will never find myself
in the position you're in now.
I wish you well.
You may not believe me, but I do.
You were always a sweet boy.
Good luck.
I'm afraid you will need it.
Mm.
You want some advice?
Fade into the background.
Become dull, uninteresting,
and you might just survive,
as I did.
Hmm.
I'm not like you.
No.
You're not.
More's the pity.
Anyway, my brother will not
make your husband's reign an easy one.
He will miss his rivalry with Francis,
and he will take it out on his son.
Adieu to you all.
Who knows when we will meet again?
Ah.
I've invited my wife to join us.
As you know, my father
thought highly of her opinion.
I will always be grateful to Francis
for my elevation in status.
I've called a meeting
with my Privy Council
so I can hear your proposals.
A new era calls for new policies.
Obviously, Your Majesty, the
very first order of business should be
putting strict limitations
on the spreading disease
of the Protestant faith
before it continues to rot
the moral fiber of our nation.
Moral fiber? Very good.
My cousins are stuck in the Dark Ages.
If you really want to announce
the beginning of a new era,
the era of King Henry II,
you must prioritize trade, capitalism,
globalization,
exploration of the New World.
That's where the future lies.
Right, Antoine?
Yeah. Ab-absolutely.
A French colony in America
would be totally wow.
Catherine, what do you think?
I think, with your father dead
a Holy Roman Emperor will test you.
You should ready yourself for war.
I, uh-I think we're beyond that.
The Holy Roman Emperor will not
break the treaty your father signed,
I can assure you.
He learned his lesson
at your own hand, Your Majesty.
The last time he saw you
you were a boy.
He will test you.
Casal.
I would like you to lead a garrison of
men to the border as a deterrent, yes?
A single garrison?
- Will that suffice?
- Yes.
Yes.
A single garrison will suffice.
Anything more
would appear a provocation.
And the point is to prevent a war
rather than start one.
And when they get a look
at our fine Gallic warriors,
then they will shit themselves
and run for the hills.
Well said.
Indeed.
Anything else?
Well, there is the, uh, matter
of the coronation, Your Majesty.
Yes.
Of course.
We must make the occasion
a display of continuity
and new ambition.
Therefore, a direct contradiction.
If I were you, I'd stay out of it.
No one knows how to put on a show
like the Catholic Church.
Quite.
Right, well
I'll leave that with you.
Shall I? Good then.
What's he doing?
He's all right.
No, he should join in.
Francis!
Join the game.
M-Mary says it's safer if I don't,
on account of my breathing.
Yes, it is. I see.
Well, you'll grow out of it soon.
And you'll be as fine a player
as any of them.
You really think so?
Yes. Yes, of course.
And Mary and I are to be married?
You have been betrothed to her
since you were four years old.
I'm almost of age.
Almost.
Francis. Francis, come.
- May I, Father?
- Yes, of course. Go, go.
You can keep score, hmm?
Stand there.
You're good with him.
With all the children.
Well, I try.
One should aim to be a fine example.
Aren't I?
There is talk regarding Diane.
I pay no attention to court gossip.
Well, gossip matters when you are king.
My father never apologized
for the company he kept.
The fact that you
are romantically involved
with a woman nearly twice your age,
it raises questions
about your independence.
My independence
is of my concern,
as is the source of my pleasure. Yes?
I live my life as I see fit.
I have never objected
to your friendship.
But now that you are king,
it can only undermine your position.
Something tells me
it's your own position
that you're concerned about.
It is customary for a new queen
to offer gifts to her favorites.
Allow me to gift my cousin
the Chateau Chaumont.
It is not far.
And you can see each other
whenever you like.
Chateau Chaumont?
She'll be happy there.
Perhaps.
Speak to Diane.
If she agrees
I will not oppose it.
May I?
I like it very much. What is it?
Sandalwood from the east.
Is that too tight?
- No.
- Perfect.
And it will be ready?
Of course.
- What is this?
- Ah.
When we are crowned king and queen,
we will need a royal crest.
What do you think?
I think it's posh bollocks.
When I am queen, you will heed me.
Or what?
I'll make you shorter.
If only you could
make yourself prettier.
You'd need Ruggieri for that.
You don't need Ruggieri for anything.
Besides, you've gotten
everything you wanted without him.
Though I do wonder what's become of him.
Enough.
I've told you before, I do not wish
to hear his name mentioned.
You called for me, cousin?
Yes.
You may leave me now.
Now that I'm to be crowned queen,
I thought you should stay
somewhere else.
All of the arrangements
will be taken care of.
You will live at the Chateau Chaumont.
You are most generous.
You have been a good
and loyal friend to my husband.
And for that,
I am eternally grateful.
I am the one who is grateful
Your Majesty.
You asked for me?
And you came.
Close the door.
I hear you're skilled at what you do.
You heard right.
If, for instance, I had a problem,
you would have a solution.
That depends.
On?
Well, I suppose
the nature of the problem.
All right, then.
The new king, your mistress's husband,
I made him.
I taught him everything he knows.
And now I am to be made obsolete,
to fade into the woodwork
liked a used up whore,
like a fucking shopgirl.
But I'm not the fucking shopgirl here,
am I?
You expect me to help you
when you know my mistress
would not approve?
And yet you are here,
because, like the rest of us,
you would like a hand in your own fate.
So, Angelica,
is my problem one you can help me with?
You want to be noticed.
I want to be unforgettable.
Whatever your mistress is paying you,
I will double.
My father gave me this.
He told me there were ancient tribes
that believed the ingestion of gold
would make them live forever.
Turns out it doesn't.
Turns out gold can poison the mind
if consumed in significant doses.
But just enough
will preserve your youth
and make you shine from within.
Very good, Angelica.
Very good.
I never expected it to be me. You know?
After my brother died,
I knew it would happen one day,
of course, of course.
I just I don't know.
I just hope I can
make him proud, that's all.
Nothing makes me happier
than seeing you crowned King of France.
Do you know that?
I wouldn't be here without you.
Nor I.
You were born for this.
Tomorrow, you will be crowned
God's representative on Earth.
Tonight
I want to show you what it is
to be loved like a god.
You look lovely.
Those are Diane's colors.
Are they?
Oh, yes.
I guess I'm not very good
at these things, I'm afraid.
Diane offered to help.
Hello, cousin.
You are a vision.
Never forget
that throne belongs to me
every single bit as much
as it belongs to you, hmm?
Shall we?
Come along, cousin.
I give you your king.
And your queen.
Would you like to kiss the new king?
I have a message
from the Holy Roman Emperor.
You were right then,
about the Holy Roman Emperor.
Henri should have listened to you.
Yes.
But I was wrong about Diane.
I learned the hard way
you must never underestimate an enemy.
What is it?
It's treachery.
I-I don't
I-I can't read.
I'm sorry.
It was thoughtless of me.
Could you leave me, please?
I have much to think about.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's the matter with you?
I can barely bring myself to say it.
Well, come on. Spit it out.
One of these men
exposed themselves to me.
One of these two?
I found it most upsetting.
What do you want me to do about it?
The queen said anyone
who interferes with her maid
must answer to her.
Right.
Young men.
Which one of you was it?
Perhaps if I were to see the
offending member, I can identify it.
All right.
You heard her.
Drop your trousers.
What?
Get on with it. I don't have all day.
Oh, my.
Dear.
I-I must be mistaken.
It was significantly larger.
Shame.
There she goes again ♪
She's out on the street again ♪
She's down on her knees my friend ♪
But you know that she'll
Never ask you please again ♪
Now take a look
There's no tears in her eyes ♪