The Spectacular Spider-Man (2008) s01e04 Episode Script
Market Forces
1
[GASPS]
Don't like this.
Something's going down.
[GRUNTS]
Tri Corp dispatch,
this is transport 23.
Tri Corp, do you read
[GROANS]
There you go,
Hammerhead.
Job done.
Forget the hat.
Put on the suit.
You still owe
the Big Man
one friendly
neighborhood Spider-Man.
Livin' on the edge
Fighting crime
Spinning webs
Swingin' from
the highest ledge
He could leap
above our heads
Villains on the rise
And the city's victimized
Looking up
with no surprise
Arriving
in the speed of time
Spectacular
Spectacular Spider-Man
Spectacular
Spectacular Spider-Man
Spectacular
Spectacular
Spectacular Spider-Man
Spectacular
Spectacular Spider-Man
AUNT MAY: Peter, dear.
Are you up?
Come on, Mr. Lazybones.
[DOOR OPENING]Aunt May,
I'm not decent.
[LAUGHING]
All right.
Calm down.
There's breakfast
waiting downstairs.
I'll be at Mrs. Watson's.
[SIGHS]
Mmm. Waffles.
Bills.
Gas, phone, electric,
all past due.
Oh, good. You're up.
I've just been visiting
with Anna
and her niece
Mary Jane.
A lovely girl.
Peter, you must meet her.
Uh, what's she like?
Oh, she has
a wonderful personality.
[SHUDDERS]
She's there now.
Why don't we just
head over and
I'd love to, Aunt May,
but I promised Harry
I'd help him study,
and I can't miss
the bus. Bye.
[HORNS HONKING]
I so have to get me
some hands-free.
What?
Nothing, bro.
Just trying to do
too much at once.
You mean like selling
pictures to the Bugle
instead of helping
your friends?
Look. Straight up,
I blew it, and I know
you're ticked.
Don't go all emo
on me, bro.
I'll get over it.
Just back off
for a while.
Got it. And thanks.
Target spotted.
And target lost.
But he's
in the area, boss.
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
Peter, good
to see you.
Here to help
Harry, eh?
We help each other,
Mr. O.
Now, now, Peter.
Modesty doesn't
become men like us.
Smart. Driven.
Responsible.
Self-made.
I'm more of
a work in progress.
At least you're
making progress.
Mind if I check
my e-mail?
[SIGHS]
[BEEPS]
An e-vite
to Midtown High's
fall formal.
Which would rock
if either of us had
What's the word?
A date?
Could probably ask
Mary Jane Watson.
Mary who what, now?
Oh, this girl Aunt May
wants me to meet.
Oh, get this. She has
a wonderful personality.
[BOTH SHUDDER]I was thinking
about asking Gwen.
Just as a friend,
you know.
Well, actually,
I wouldn't know.
Miss Stacy's currently
not speaking to me.
[COMPUTER BEEPS]
"From the desk
of J. Jonah Jameson"?
Whoa. Publisher
of the Daily Bugle!
"Mr. Parker,
come in A.S.A.P.
"to claim paycheck
for photos of Spider-Man."
Yes!
Dude, sorry. I'll
be back in an hour.
Two, tops. Promise.Wait! What do I do
while you're gone?
Chapters one through six.
Review.
[GROANS]
JAMESON: Did a caveman
proofread this piece?
Where's my
sports editor?
I want him in my office
in 14 seconds.
And where's my coffee?
[STAMMERING]
Sir, I'm Peter
I know who you are!
You're the know-nothing
who wasted 41 seconds
of my time the other day!
Well, I haven't got
another 41 to spare.
But ButBrilliant comeback, kid.
Now where's
that Parker guy?
I e-mailed him
76 minutes ago!
Won't anybody get me
my coffee?
Coffee. Decaf.
It's only been
20 minutes.
And I'm pretty sure
you just kicked
Peter Parker out.
Well, don't just
stand there.
Get him back!
[GRUMBLING]
Oh, that wasn't
too humiliating.
Wait. My money!
Sorry about that, Parker.
I was expecting someone
old enough to have,
you know, armpit hair.
[LAUGHS]
Now, that costumed freak
sells papers,
so I want another set of pics
in my hands by deadline.
You got two hours.
[STAMMERING]
I'll do my best, but
You still here?
What do you want,
a medal? Get out!
Out!
BETTY: I'll cut
that check for you, Peter.
Thanks, Miss Brant.I'm Betty.
So, Betty, how do you
work for a walking
embolism like Jameson?
Mr. Jameson's
a decent man,
down deep.
Are we talking
Mariana's Trench deep
or Dante's ninth circle
deep?
[LAUGHS]
See you soon, Peter Parker.
Yee-haw!
He's back.
Set it in motion.
[ALARM SOUNDING]
Talk about a crook
with bad timing.
Great, he's on us.
Now, not too fast.
If he loses us,
no payday.
Look, forget
the payday.
I want payback.
Two hours till deadline?
No sweat.
Oh! Don't want anything
to happen to this.
What?
[LAUGHS]
Marko?
How many times
do I have to
take you down?
And where's your
charming partner O'Hirn?
[GRUNTS]
[GROANS]
Look, we gotta stop
meeting like this.
People
are starting to talk.
Mostly about
what doofs you are.
[WHIRRING]
[GROANS]
I reckon that came
as a bit of a shocker,
eh, bug?
Well, good.
So will this.
[GRUNTS]
[LAUGHS]
Hold still, son,
so as I can put you
out of your misery.
How about you put me
out of my mystery?
Who are you?
Call me
Well, how's
about Shocker?
Or how's about toast?
[GRUNTS]
Either you got less kick
than a three-legged mule,
or this here suit
does more than protect me
from my own power.
I guess clothes
do make the man.
[GROANS]
[TRUCK APPROACHING]
Did I get him?
Tell me I got him.
All you got
is on my nerves.
Stay out of this, boy.
The grown-ups
were talking.
Don't be too mad
at O'Hirn.
He just gets cranky
without his nap.
Impressive. You can
hire yourself out
as a kiddie ride.
Thanks.
But I already got
a job I love.
[GRUNTING]
[SPIDER-MAN GRUNTING]
That should satisfy
the Big Man.
[BEEPS]Extraction.
Hey, a little help?I ought to leave you
for the cops,
but I'm in
too good a mood.
[SCREAMS]
[GRUNTS]
Did I get him?
Is he road kill?
[SIRENS BLARING]He's finito.
Let's book.
[GRUNTING]
[GASPING]
Oh, talk about
your tight spots.
But I'm alive.
[SNIFFS]
[EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST]And I reek.
And my paycheck's ruined.
Perfect.
Harry,
I'm sorry
Sorry? You totally
left me hanging.
I know you
can do calc
in your sleep,
but I've got a lot
riding on tomorrow's test.
Maybe I should ask Gwen.
No, I'm down for tonight.
I swear. Um
Carperopum?
[SIGHS]
[GRUNTING]
[LAUGHING]
Guess all Osborn's
money couldn't buy him
muscle tone.
Lay off, Flash.
You think you
could do better?
How about you
and me race?
First to the top wins.
Dude, Parker's
calling you out.
And my spider powers
are going to
send you home crying.
Ball, please.
All right, all right.
A little friendly competition
never hurt anyone.
Line up.
[SNIFFING]Ugh!
Forget it.
You win.
Usually, when I say
Puny Parker stinks,
it's a figure of speech.
But whoo!
[SNIFFS]
And I showered
three times last night.
Peter, throw me the ball.
[SIGHS]
PETER: Gwen,
I'm sorry.
Sorry, you turned
at the last
Parker.
Hit the showers.
[LAUGHS]Yeah, for
all our sakes.
[ALL LAUGHING]BOY: Yeah.
BETTY: Pete.
Are you wearing perfume?
It's a long story.
Look, Miss
I mean, Betty,
this is embarrassing,
but could you replace
my check?
It got trashed.
Well, sure.
Oh, you have to meet
our editor-in-chief.
Joe Robertson,
this is Peter Parker.
The photographer, right.
Call me Robbie.
Any new shots?
Do you know
a Rand Robertson?
Well, there is a kid
by that name
who lives in my house
and eats all my food.
You at Midtown?Yes, sir.
Good school. Look,
Peter, the fact that
you've twice gotten
any usable pictures
of Spider-Man is
pretty amazing.
But the photos
themselves
You have your camera
on you?
She's kind of hard
to keep in focus.
This won't cut it.
You want to be
a Buglefreelancer,
you take that check
and invest in
a serious camera.
Garbage. Garbage.
Literally garbage.
Garbage Wait.
Ho, ho!
PETER: Wouldn't
you rather use one
where Spider-Man's
winning?
Ha! Shows what you know!
Nobody loves a winner.
The people are
our market,
and the people want
their heroes to fail.
Makes them feel good
about themselves.
[SNIFFING]Whoo!
Piece of advice, kid.
Perfume doesn't cut it.
Tomato juice. Only thing
after taking pictures
at a dump.
Oh, I so need an excuse
to get back to Betty.
Which means I need
to take more pictures,
which means I cashed
in my checks 'cause
I need to buy
a new camera.
We're closed.
Go away.
The sign says
you don't close
for another hour.
The sign's wrong.
Come back tomorrow.
[GRUNTING]
I'm telling you,
we gotta cash in fast.
Once Hammerhead
spreads the word
Spider-Man's croaked,
it'll be open season for
every hood in the city.
[GRUNTING]
Still can't believe
I didn't cash in
his chips myself.
[SNIFFING]
Something
smells bad.
Oh, still?
I washed this costume
five times.
You!And now that you
troglodytes have deduced
that the rumors of
my demise have been
greatly exaggerated
I'm not dead.
Never mind.
Just tell Shocker
I want a rematch.
You can call
the cops now.
I really, really
hate that guy.
This is
really, really
getting heavy.
[BOTH GRUNTING]
Hey, Aunt May.
I'm home before
the new curfew.
And that's
appreciated, Peter.
I'm almost done here.
Just paying bills.
Or rather, deciding
which ones I can
hold off paying.
PETER: Well, I think
I might
Hold off on
the gas bill?
[SIGHS]
I feel like
banana cake.
You?
Um, no. Thanks.
I think I'll just
hit the sheets.
What? No banana cake?
Helping Harry must have
really tuckered you out.
Oh, man. Harry!
I totally
blew me off, Pete.
I know, Har. Look,
I'm worthless, but
But nothing.
Worthless covers it.
Let me
get this straight.
You ditched out
on the only guy
in the whole school
who actually liked you?
Genius.
[LAUGHING]
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
Big Man's not
satisfied, Montana.
And why would that be?
He don't think
you lived up to your
responsibilities.
The new camera
should make Robbie happy.
And, of course,
if I happen to run into
Miss Betty.
Oh, hi, Peter.
Perfect timing.
Hold this.
You know,
we should do this
more often.
I mean,
you and I have
so much in common.
We both
Put mustard
on our hotdogs.
Uh, we both work
for Jolly Jonah.
And that's a treat,
believe me.
Anyway,
I was wondering,
would you like to go
to my fall formal?
With me, that is.
Your fall formal?
Yeah,
at my high school.
In the gymnasium.
So, is that
deafening silence
a yes?
It's a very
sweet offer,
but I'm just too old
for you, Peter.
It's just a dance.
You know,
a little rock and roll.
[RUMBLING]
[CAR ALARMS BLARING]
Okay, I didn't
mean it like that.
[PEOPLE CLAMORING]
Graphics already online.
Lee, get me damage reports.
Foswell, take
the science angle.
Manhattan is not known
for earthquakes,
and that was
the third tremor
in the last hour.
Tremor?
Or Shocker?
[BEEPING]
Epicenters are equally spaced
in a straight line
heading uptown.
These aren't quakes.
They're Shocker's trail of
breadcrumbs for yours truly.
And I think I know
where to find
his gingerbread house.
Here, Shocky,
Shocky, Shocky.
[GROANS]
I really thought
I'd ended you, old son.
But you've got more lives
than a bag of cats.
Still, I reckon we can
remedy that situation.
[GROANING]
One more at close range
ought to do it.
SHOCKER: I do admire
your spunk, son.
Not enough
to let you go,
of course.
That would be bad
for business.
Whose business?
I can't tell you
the who.Then tell me the why.
What did your friendly
neighborhood Spider-Man
ever do to you?
It ain't nothing
personal, hoss.
Simple truth is,
if a man's a man,
he honors his
responsibilities,
and you're
one of mine.
[GRUNTS]
[GRUNTING]
Well, the place
is condemned.
You know,
it really ain't wise
to make a dangerous man
look foolish.
You don't need
my help for that.
You looked
in a mirror lately?
Oh, and talk about
incompetent.
You've had
more shots at me
than Marko
and O'Hirn.
And done about as well.
Them boys are punks.
This is my profession.
Oh, you do this
for a living?
[LAUGHING]
[IN SOUTHERN ACCENT] With
that accent, I was thinking
rodeo clown.
Don't you mock me, boy.
I mock.
I'm a mocker.
Also a puller,
a tugger, a yanker.
[SHOCKER SCREAMING]
And that's what they call
bringing down the house.
You seem
troubled, son.
Troubled?
Gee, you think?
I failed my cal test
'cause Pete abandoned me.
Flash's crowd
won't cut me a break
Enough. You're parked
in a no-whining zone.
Take some responsibility.
Peter's not the reason
you failed.
You want to pass
a test? Study.
You want to be popular?
Be popular.
Take control
of your destiny, boy.
Harry,
life's pretty simple.
You cowboy up and do
what you have to do.
Thanks. I will.
My apologies
for the interruption.
Ah, kids today.
What you gonna do?
New topic.
Spider-Man.
We want him gone.
You care?None of my business.
Really?
Hero saved your hide.
I have nothing to do
with Spider-Man.
I wouldn't have risked
tipping you off
to that Tri Corp shipment
if I had.
Why did you tip us off?
Tri Corp's
my competitor
in the super-mercenary field.
If their prototypes
go missing,
everyone wins.
Which brings up
an issue my boss
would like to discuss.
Go ahead, Big Man.
[BEEPS]
LINCOLN ON PHONE:
Mr. Osborn, we have
a proposition.
When Spider-Man battles
the likes of the Vulture,
the Lizard, and even
our Shocker,
he's too busy to interfere
with my empire.
We would like to hire you
to create more
Well, let's call them
super villains.
What's in it
for me?
Ample funding
and a ready supply
of human guinea pigs
for your more
questionable
experiments.
[GROANING]
Ned Lee.
The Bugle.
What is it?
What's the card say?
[READING]
[DIALING]Robbie, it's me.
I'm here, but
I need a photog
Wait. What?
I said Parker
was there.
Already e-mailed
his shots.
Kid still needs
a new camera.
What's this?The Buglepaid me
for my pictures.
Now you can pay
those bills.
Out of the question.
Besides, if you're
going to take photos
for the Bugle,
you need
a new camera.
Well, that thought
occurred.
But a man has to honor
his responsibilities.
You're one of mine.
Aunt May, please.
Let me help.
I accept,
if you agree
to set aside 10%
of every check
to save
for that camera.
Deal?Deal.
[SNIFFING]
Peter, dear,
why do you smell
like tomato juice?
[GASPS]
Don't like this.
Something's going down.
[GRUNTS]
Tri Corp dispatch,
this is transport 23.
Tri Corp, do you read
[GROANS]
There you go,
Hammerhead.
Job done.
Forget the hat.
Put on the suit.
You still owe
the Big Man
one friendly
neighborhood Spider-Man.
Livin' on the edge
Fighting crime
Spinning webs
Swingin' from
the highest ledge
He could leap
above our heads
Villains on the rise
And the city's victimized
Looking up
with no surprise
Arriving
in the speed of time
Spectacular
Spectacular Spider-Man
Spectacular
Spectacular Spider-Man
Spectacular
Spectacular
Spectacular Spider-Man
Spectacular
Spectacular Spider-Man
AUNT MAY: Peter, dear.
Are you up?
Come on, Mr. Lazybones.
[DOOR OPENING]Aunt May,
I'm not decent.
[LAUGHING]
All right.
Calm down.
There's breakfast
waiting downstairs.
I'll be at Mrs. Watson's.
[SIGHS]
Mmm. Waffles.
Bills.
Gas, phone, electric,
all past due.
Oh, good. You're up.
I've just been visiting
with Anna
and her niece
Mary Jane.
A lovely girl.
Peter, you must meet her.
Uh, what's she like?
Oh, she has
a wonderful personality.
[SHUDDERS]
She's there now.
Why don't we just
head over and
I'd love to, Aunt May,
but I promised Harry
I'd help him study,
and I can't miss
the bus. Bye.
[HORNS HONKING]
I so have to get me
some hands-free.
What?
Nothing, bro.
Just trying to do
too much at once.
You mean like selling
pictures to the Bugle
instead of helping
your friends?
Look. Straight up,
I blew it, and I know
you're ticked.
Don't go all emo
on me, bro.
I'll get over it.
Just back off
for a while.
Got it. And thanks.
Target spotted.
And target lost.
But he's
in the area, boss.
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
Peter, good
to see you.
Here to help
Harry, eh?
We help each other,
Mr. O.
Now, now, Peter.
Modesty doesn't
become men like us.
Smart. Driven.
Responsible.
Self-made.
I'm more of
a work in progress.
At least you're
making progress.
Mind if I check
my e-mail?
[SIGHS]
[BEEPS]
An e-vite
to Midtown High's
fall formal.
Which would rock
if either of us had
What's the word?
A date?
Could probably ask
Mary Jane Watson.
Mary who what, now?
Oh, this girl Aunt May
wants me to meet.
Oh, get this. She has
a wonderful personality.
[BOTH SHUDDER]I was thinking
about asking Gwen.
Just as a friend,
you know.
Well, actually,
I wouldn't know.
Miss Stacy's currently
not speaking to me.
[COMPUTER BEEPS]
"From the desk
of J. Jonah Jameson"?
Whoa. Publisher
of the Daily Bugle!
"Mr. Parker,
come in A.S.A.P.
"to claim paycheck
for photos of Spider-Man."
Yes!
Dude, sorry. I'll
be back in an hour.
Two, tops. Promise.Wait! What do I do
while you're gone?
Chapters one through six.
Review.
[GROANS]
JAMESON: Did a caveman
proofread this piece?
Where's my
sports editor?
I want him in my office
in 14 seconds.
And where's my coffee?
[STAMMERING]
Sir, I'm Peter
I know who you are!
You're the know-nothing
who wasted 41 seconds
of my time the other day!
Well, I haven't got
another 41 to spare.
But ButBrilliant comeback, kid.
Now where's
that Parker guy?
I e-mailed him
76 minutes ago!
Won't anybody get me
my coffee?
Coffee. Decaf.
It's only been
20 minutes.
And I'm pretty sure
you just kicked
Peter Parker out.
Well, don't just
stand there.
Get him back!
[GRUMBLING]
Oh, that wasn't
too humiliating.
Wait. My money!
Sorry about that, Parker.
I was expecting someone
old enough to have,
you know, armpit hair.
[LAUGHS]
Now, that costumed freak
sells papers,
so I want another set of pics
in my hands by deadline.
You got two hours.
[STAMMERING]
I'll do my best, but
You still here?
What do you want,
a medal? Get out!
Out!
BETTY: I'll cut
that check for you, Peter.
Thanks, Miss Brant.I'm Betty.
So, Betty, how do you
work for a walking
embolism like Jameson?
Mr. Jameson's
a decent man,
down deep.
Are we talking
Mariana's Trench deep
or Dante's ninth circle
deep?
[LAUGHS]
See you soon, Peter Parker.
Yee-haw!
He's back.
Set it in motion.
[ALARM SOUNDING]
Talk about a crook
with bad timing.
Great, he's on us.
Now, not too fast.
If he loses us,
no payday.
Look, forget
the payday.
I want payback.
Two hours till deadline?
No sweat.
Oh! Don't want anything
to happen to this.
What?
[LAUGHS]
Marko?
How many times
do I have to
take you down?
And where's your
charming partner O'Hirn?
[GRUNTS]
[GROANS]
Look, we gotta stop
meeting like this.
People
are starting to talk.
Mostly about
what doofs you are.
[WHIRRING]
[GROANS]
I reckon that came
as a bit of a shocker,
eh, bug?
Well, good.
So will this.
[GRUNTS]
[LAUGHS]
Hold still, son,
so as I can put you
out of your misery.
How about you put me
out of my mystery?
Who are you?
Call me
Well, how's
about Shocker?
Or how's about toast?
[GRUNTS]
Either you got less kick
than a three-legged mule,
or this here suit
does more than protect me
from my own power.
I guess clothes
do make the man.
[GROANS]
[TRUCK APPROACHING]
Did I get him?
Tell me I got him.
All you got
is on my nerves.
Stay out of this, boy.
The grown-ups
were talking.
Don't be too mad
at O'Hirn.
He just gets cranky
without his nap.
Impressive. You can
hire yourself out
as a kiddie ride.
Thanks.
But I already got
a job I love.
[GRUNTING]
[SPIDER-MAN GRUNTING]
That should satisfy
the Big Man.
[BEEPS]Extraction.
Hey, a little help?I ought to leave you
for the cops,
but I'm in
too good a mood.
[SCREAMS]
[GRUNTS]
Did I get him?
Is he road kill?
[SIRENS BLARING]He's finito.
Let's book.
[GRUNTING]
[GASPING]
Oh, talk about
your tight spots.
But I'm alive.
[SNIFFS]
[EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST]And I reek.
And my paycheck's ruined.
Perfect.
Harry,
I'm sorry
Sorry? You totally
left me hanging.
I know you
can do calc
in your sleep,
but I've got a lot
riding on tomorrow's test.
Maybe I should ask Gwen.
No, I'm down for tonight.
I swear. Um
Carperopum?
[SIGHS]
[GRUNTING]
[LAUGHING]
Guess all Osborn's
money couldn't buy him
muscle tone.
Lay off, Flash.
You think you
could do better?
How about you
and me race?
First to the top wins.
Dude, Parker's
calling you out.
And my spider powers
are going to
send you home crying.
Ball, please.
All right, all right.
A little friendly competition
never hurt anyone.
Line up.
[SNIFFING]Ugh!
Forget it.
You win.
Usually, when I say
Puny Parker stinks,
it's a figure of speech.
But whoo!
[SNIFFS]
And I showered
three times last night.
Peter, throw me the ball.
[SIGHS]
PETER: Gwen,
I'm sorry.
Sorry, you turned
at the last
Parker.
Hit the showers.
[LAUGHS]Yeah, for
all our sakes.
[ALL LAUGHING]BOY: Yeah.
BETTY: Pete.
Are you wearing perfume?
It's a long story.
Look, Miss
I mean, Betty,
this is embarrassing,
but could you replace
my check?
It got trashed.
Well, sure.
Oh, you have to meet
our editor-in-chief.
Joe Robertson,
this is Peter Parker.
The photographer, right.
Call me Robbie.
Any new shots?
Do you know
a Rand Robertson?
Well, there is a kid
by that name
who lives in my house
and eats all my food.
You at Midtown?Yes, sir.
Good school. Look,
Peter, the fact that
you've twice gotten
any usable pictures
of Spider-Man is
pretty amazing.
But the photos
themselves
You have your camera
on you?
She's kind of hard
to keep in focus.
This won't cut it.
You want to be
a Buglefreelancer,
you take that check
and invest in
a serious camera.
Garbage. Garbage.
Literally garbage.
Garbage Wait.
Ho, ho!
PETER: Wouldn't
you rather use one
where Spider-Man's
winning?
Ha! Shows what you know!
Nobody loves a winner.
The people are
our market,
and the people want
their heroes to fail.
Makes them feel good
about themselves.
[SNIFFING]Whoo!
Piece of advice, kid.
Perfume doesn't cut it.
Tomato juice. Only thing
after taking pictures
at a dump.
Oh, I so need an excuse
to get back to Betty.
Which means I need
to take more pictures,
which means I cashed
in my checks 'cause
I need to buy
a new camera.
We're closed.
Go away.
The sign says
you don't close
for another hour.
The sign's wrong.
Come back tomorrow.
[GRUNTING]
I'm telling you,
we gotta cash in fast.
Once Hammerhead
spreads the word
Spider-Man's croaked,
it'll be open season for
every hood in the city.
[GRUNTING]
Still can't believe
I didn't cash in
his chips myself.
[SNIFFING]
Something
smells bad.
Oh, still?
I washed this costume
five times.
You!And now that you
troglodytes have deduced
that the rumors of
my demise have been
greatly exaggerated
I'm not dead.
Never mind.
Just tell Shocker
I want a rematch.
You can call
the cops now.
I really, really
hate that guy.
This is
really, really
getting heavy.
[BOTH GRUNTING]
Hey, Aunt May.
I'm home before
the new curfew.
And that's
appreciated, Peter.
I'm almost done here.
Just paying bills.
Or rather, deciding
which ones I can
hold off paying.
PETER: Well, I think
I might
Hold off on
the gas bill?
[SIGHS]
I feel like
banana cake.
You?
Um, no. Thanks.
I think I'll just
hit the sheets.
What? No banana cake?
Helping Harry must have
really tuckered you out.
Oh, man. Harry!
I totally
blew me off, Pete.
I know, Har. Look,
I'm worthless, but
But nothing.
Worthless covers it.
Let me
get this straight.
You ditched out
on the only guy
in the whole school
who actually liked you?
Genius.
[LAUGHING]
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
Big Man's not
satisfied, Montana.
And why would that be?
He don't think
you lived up to your
responsibilities.
The new camera
should make Robbie happy.
And, of course,
if I happen to run into
Miss Betty.
Oh, hi, Peter.
Perfect timing.
Hold this.
You know,
we should do this
more often.
I mean,
you and I have
so much in common.
We both
Put mustard
on our hotdogs.
Uh, we both work
for Jolly Jonah.
And that's a treat,
believe me.
Anyway,
I was wondering,
would you like to go
to my fall formal?
With me, that is.
Your fall formal?
Yeah,
at my high school.
In the gymnasium.
So, is that
deafening silence
a yes?
It's a very
sweet offer,
but I'm just too old
for you, Peter.
It's just a dance.
You know,
a little rock and roll.
[RUMBLING]
[CAR ALARMS BLARING]
Okay, I didn't
mean it like that.
[PEOPLE CLAMORING]
Graphics already online.
Lee, get me damage reports.
Foswell, take
the science angle.
Manhattan is not known
for earthquakes,
and that was
the third tremor
in the last hour.
Tremor?
Or Shocker?
[BEEPING]
Epicenters are equally spaced
in a straight line
heading uptown.
These aren't quakes.
They're Shocker's trail of
breadcrumbs for yours truly.
And I think I know
where to find
his gingerbread house.
Here, Shocky,
Shocky, Shocky.
[GROANS]
I really thought
I'd ended you, old son.
But you've got more lives
than a bag of cats.
Still, I reckon we can
remedy that situation.
[GROANING]
One more at close range
ought to do it.
SHOCKER: I do admire
your spunk, son.
Not enough
to let you go,
of course.
That would be bad
for business.
Whose business?
I can't tell you
the who.Then tell me the why.
What did your friendly
neighborhood Spider-Man
ever do to you?
It ain't nothing
personal, hoss.
Simple truth is,
if a man's a man,
he honors his
responsibilities,
and you're
one of mine.
[GRUNTS]
[GRUNTING]
Well, the place
is condemned.
You know,
it really ain't wise
to make a dangerous man
look foolish.
You don't need
my help for that.
You looked
in a mirror lately?
Oh, and talk about
incompetent.
You've had
more shots at me
than Marko
and O'Hirn.
And done about as well.
Them boys are punks.
This is my profession.
Oh, you do this
for a living?
[LAUGHING]
[IN SOUTHERN ACCENT] With
that accent, I was thinking
rodeo clown.
Don't you mock me, boy.
I mock.
I'm a mocker.
Also a puller,
a tugger, a yanker.
[SHOCKER SCREAMING]
And that's what they call
bringing down the house.
You seem
troubled, son.
Troubled?
Gee, you think?
I failed my cal test
'cause Pete abandoned me.
Flash's crowd
won't cut me a break
Enough. You're parked
in a no-whining zone.
Take some responsibility.
Peter's not the reason
you failed.
You want to pass
a test? Study.
You want to be popular?
Be popular.
Take control
of your destiny, boy.
Harry,
life's pretty simple.
You cowboy up and do
what you have to do.
Thanks. I will.
My apologies
for the interruption.
Ah, kids today.
What you gonna do?
New topic.
Spider-Man.
We want him gone.
You care?None of my business.
Really?
Hero saved your hide.
I have nothing to do
with Spider-Man.
I wouldn't have risked
tipping you off
to that Tri Corp shipment
if I had.
Why did you tip us off?
Tri Corp's
my competitor
in the super-mercenary field.
If their prototypes
go missing,
everyone wins.
Which brings up
an issue my boss
would like to discuss.
Go ahead, Big Man.
[BEEPS]
LINCOLN ON PHONE:
Mr. Osborn, we have
a proposition.
When Spider-Man battles
the likes of the Vulture,
the Lizard, and even
our Shocker,
he's too busy to interfere
with my empire.
We would like to hire you
to create more
Well, let's call them
super villains.
What's in it
for me?
Ample funding
and a ready supply
of human guinea pigs
for your more
questionable
experiments.
[GROANING]
Ned Lee.
The Bugle.
What is it?
What's the card say?
[READING]
[DIALING]Robbie, it's me.
I'm here, but
I need a photog
Wait. What?
I said Parker
was there.
Already e-mailed
his shots.
Kid still needs
a new camera.
What's this?The Buglepaid me
for my pictures.
Now you can pay
those bills.
Out of the question.
Besides, if you're
going to take photos
for the Bugle,
you need
a new camera.
Well, that thought
occurred.
But a man has to honor
his responsibilities.
You're one of mine.
Aunt May, please.
Let me help.
I accept,
if you agree
to set aside 10%
of every check
to save
for that camera.
Deal?Deal.
[SNIFFING]
Peter, dear,
why do you smell
like tomato juice?