The Victim (2019) s01e04 Episode Script
Episode 4
Oh, come on.
What is it? It's not him.
I didn't want to text or phone to tell you but I don't believe you.
- On my kids.
It's true.
No.
You've had it confirmed it's Myers and now you're scared.
You have to listen to me.
Craig Myers is not Eddie J Turner.
You're lying.
I saw him, Anna.
Saw who? - Do you not understand what I'm telling you? Who did you see? - We have ruined an innocent man's life! Who, Mo? I won't tell you.
Mo! - No.
You have to tell me, for Liam's sake.
This isn't about Liam, not any more.
It's over, Anna.
We ruined his life.
Members of the jury, will your spokesperson please rise? Have you reached a verdict in respect of the accused, Anna Louise Dean? Yes.
What is your verdict? Guilty.
Are there any deletions or amendments to the charge? Deletion of the word murder, amended to assault to danger of life.
My Lady, pending preparation of reports, I make an application for bail.
Mrs Dean is part of a strong family unit, has no previous convictions and has adhered to the conditions of bail set at the petition hearing.
I will continue to grant bail, subject to the same special conditions.
This is Christian.
Leave me a message and I'll get back to you.
It's not him.
Christian, it's not Craig Myers.
The social worker meets Turner in the cafe but you're not looking for Craig Myers.
OK, so .
.
in short, they believed Anna posted the message and wanted Craig Myers assaulted but not that she wanted him dead.
It's not great but it could have been a lot worse.
So what now? Sentencing in a few weeks' time.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Oh, Mum.
I was wrong.
About what? Everything.
Craig Myers.
All of it.
You were never convinced but I wouldn't listen .
.
and now it's too late.
Anna, are you genuinely saying you may have made a mistake? Does that mean you might be willing to apologise to Mr Myers? What does it matter? It may matter a lot.
What are you thinking? Restorative justice.
It's a process in which the guilty party meets with the victim of a crime and takes part in a mediated discussion about the impact of it.
An apology isn't a strict prerequisite of the process, but for the purposes of the court, if it goes well, it may just persuade the judge to go for a community-based disposal.
So you mean this could keep her out of prison? It's worth a try, isn't it? But Anna would have to completely accept the roles assigned by the court, namely that she is the criminal and he's the victim.
Craig? At last! Where have you been? They've delivered the verdict.
What happened? Guilty.
She's guilty.
We won, Craig.
You won.
Thanks.
Can you talk to someone for me? About what? Hello? They found me guilty of a lesser charge but guilty.
Thanks.
She's here now, Danny.
I'll pass you over.
Ben? Ben's at school.
Where are you? Louise?! What's going on with Lou and Danny? Was that him on the phone? What's happened? She's been trying to get hold of him all night.
- Lenny, what's going on? It was Danny who found Liam's body.
No, it wasn't! It couldn't have been Danny? Gerry Tythe told us.
What? I'm so sorry I didn't tell you.
- He's got Ben.
Danny's got Ben! Phone the school.
You heard the verdict, boss? Did you go and see a William Napier in custody at Edinburgh? He attacked Craig Myers.
Told you that, did he? No, because Anna Dean has a hold over him, but I'm going to talk to DS Harvey.
No.
No, you're not.
Napier has made a complaint to his solicitor despite your warnings or threats.
Boss Not only did you ignore a direct order from me Look, if we can get an admission before Anna Dean is sentenced .
.
you interviewed a potential suspect alone and unrecorded.
Do you really think we'd get a conviction after that? Well, I'm surprised you're not congratulating me.
It means all this will go away a lot quicker, doesn't it? I'm suspending you from duty as of now.
She's laughing at us, you know that? She's sitting there with Napier right now having a good old chuckle.
Napier isn't chuckling with anyone.
He tried to kill himself last night.
I need your warrant card.
Ben! Come here! Why? Just do as you're told, OK? No, no, no, you stay where you are.
He never wanted to lie.
What have you told him? The truth.
- And what's that? Why, Danny? The night we met .
.
I didn't know how to talk to you, and then .
.
you mentioned Liam, like, straight away.
Why?! All those years .
.
I didn't know what to do with any of it.
I couldn't let go of it.
I couldn't talk about it either.
Then, all of a sudden .
.
you made it .
.
real.
You and then Anna, you made it .
.
normal.
You think what you've done is normal? You used me.
- I couldn't tell you straight off, could I? Ben, can you please just come here? He wanted to come with me, I said no.
Tell Anna that.
No, no.
Don't you ever contact me or my family ever again.
Go on, pal.
Go on.
And remember .
.
OK? It's not my fault.
Will you tell her that? That he wanted to come with me? Oh! I don't understand this.
Why should he? That's a good question.
- I know.
But what's the answer? She's ruined his life.
You can refuse the meeting, Craig.
There's no obligation.
It's in her interests, though, isn't it? Not his.
Actually, this process is all about the victim.
The questions we ask after a crime - what laws have been broken, who broke them, what do they deserve as punishment - are about the offender, whereas restorative justice asks, who's been hurt? What do they need? And whose obligation is it to repair that damage? I think it's right to focus on your needs, Craig.
This is about what you need to move forward now.
That's all.
I'd have come sooner if I'd known.
But the surgery only called me today.
Carol said you had some interesting ideas for redecorating the place.
I'm sorry, Anna.
I've told you before, you don't have to apologise to me.
You trusted me .
.
and I got you in trouble.
William, tell me you didn't.
Not you.
I didn't mean to get you in trouble.
Is that why you did this to yourself? He doesn't deserve to be free.
I want him to die.
I want all the sick bastards to die.
This is my fault.
What I did was wrong.
I'm going to tell them it was me.
I'm going to confess.
He says I am a victim .
.
but I'm not.
No.
Taxi's here.
Are you sure you don't want me to drive you? I'll call you straight after.
We're all proud of you, you know.
Welcome.
How was the journey? He's not here yet.
It's important, the circle, because we're all connected.
What you do affects me and vice versa.
Welcome.
Thank you both for coming.
I'm Simone.
Craig, this is Anna.
Anna, this is Craig.
You're both here voluntarily to talk about the offence Anna was recently convicted of.
You'll both get a chance to speak but I'd ask you to be respectful and not to interrupt.
Mobile phones off or on silent, please.
Obviously, I'll be writing a report the judge will see, but can we agree that anything said in this room will remain private and confidential? OK.
Anna, can I ask you to go back to last October and talk about your state of mind leading up to the offence? It was the same as it's been since as long as I can remember.
How much I miss my son.
And that I can't rest until the identity of the man who killed him is made public.
A few weeks before Halloween .
.
I received information that Eddie J Turner was living in Port Glasgow under the name Craig Myers.
I looked his address up online .
.
and I saw two schools within a mile of his house.
I felt sick.
I needed to warn people.
So I bought a pay-as-you-go phone .
.
set up an account using false details and I posted his picture online with his name and address.
I'm not saying I didn't know there would be consequences.
For Craig, you mean? For everyone.
And knowing there would be consequences, can you remember how it felt pressing that button and making the accusation public? It felt good .
.
at the time.
Why do you think that was, Anna? I think it was because I was doing something.
And even if I got caught, it was still better than being so .
.
helpless, I suppose.
Do you remember any other feelings? You mean guilt? If you felt any.
The only guilt I felt at the time was about lying to my family.
I regret that.
But the anger was bigger than the guilt.
It always is.
It's bigger than anything.
Are you angry now? I'm always angry.
It never goes away.
It's hate.
I hate him.
You mean Eddie J Turner? Is it him you hate or what he did? I don't believe you can separate them.
And I know that sometimes the hate can affect my judgments .
.
but it's who I am now.
I was never the same person after Liam died.
I started to see the bad in people .
.
before the good.
And it made me harder.
None of this is any excuse for what I've done to you.
I thought he was you but I was wrong .
.
and I'm sorry.
I don't want your apology.
Anna, you said you accept you were wrong for posting the name of the person you believed No.
That's not what I'm saying.
I'm saying .
.
I'm saying I was wrong to accuse him.
So if I was him, you wouldn't be sorry? No.
I wouldn't be sorry.
I can't apologise for trying to get justice for my son.
Not to anyone.
And what exactly did you hope to achieve, Anna, by doing what you did? I thought, naively .
.
that if I made him stand up in court .
.
it would all come out.
The mask would slip.
He'd have to face what he did.
Face me.
And I would find out why.
The "Why?" question is a huge one for anybody who's been affected by crime, isn't it, Craig? Has what Anna's shared so far gone any way to answering the "Why?" for you? She still hasn't said where my name came from.
I'm sorry, I can't tell anyone that.
Or whether she sent that guy to my house.
- No.
I didn't.
Do you know who he was? All I can say is I truly wish it hadn't happened.
Craig, when you woke in hospital and found out you'd been attacked as a result of this accusation, how did you feel? I know about anger.
She's not the only one.
I felt guilty.
In the hospital? Guilty about what? That my daughter had to see me like that.
Lying there, bleeding all over the carpet.
That was her home.
The one place she should feel safe.
She thought I was dead.
Six years old and she's defending me to the other kids at school.
It's meant to be me protecting her.
And you feel guilty about that? And that it was a relief, in a way, when they left.
Because at least when they're nowhere near me, I don't have to worry about them so much.
I'd be lying if I said I was sorry for trying to find Turner .
.
but the last thing I wanted was for more innocent people to get hurt.
I'm so sorry, Craig.
I don't want your apology.
I said that! You obviously find it hard to hear.
I think I need a break.
Will you look at me? Please.
I know it's not enough but I need you to know.
Don't! Don't what, Craig? I need a break! I'm so sorry for what I've done to you.
Don't! - Craig.
Please Craig Don't.
Will you look at me, please? Stop! - OK.
- I'm so sorry, Craig.
Please I'm not Craig! I'm Eddie J Turner! That's why I'm here.
Because there's no getting away from it.
I'm him, he's me.
He still is.
Anna.
Don't go.
Anna! Which way is out? "This is Christian.
Leave me a message and I'll get back to you.
" Faster, please.
As fast as you can.
Answer, Christian.
Please answer the phone! "This is Christian.
Leave me a message and I'll get back to you.
" Excuse me.
Are you Christian? Your wife's on the phone.
Your bell's broke.
I took the batteries out.
I come in peace.
You didn't phone.
Is it your day off? You said you'd phone and tell me what was said at the meeting.
Were there any admissions? Only mine.
You should tell someone.
Solomon, at least.
And what about Louise and Lenny? I don't know.
I should definitely phone them, though.
They'll be wondering.
He must have put this in my bag.
What the hell was he thinking? Phone Solomon now.
No, Anna.
He's the only one that can tell us what happened.
No.
We should make him do what I just had to do.
Make him tell the truth with no-one there to speak for him.
I don't want to know what happened.
So what do you want, Christian? Because we can't go back, can we? So what do you want? Hiya, mate.
What are you doing here? Judith said you went to see her as well.
Yeah, because I'm worried about you.
You're not exactly reassuring me.
Who's Judith? She's the woman who's looked after my case since I was released.
I'm a liar, Bex.
I was taught to lie.
I was told my life depended on it.
I came close to telling you so many times but I couldn't risk losing you both.
You looked me in the eye and you said, "I'm not him.
" How could you do that?! Because I'd convinced myself that I wasn't! You see, I've lied to everybody, including me.
You didn't lie to him.
I shared a cell with Tom in jail.
I had to tell somebody or else I would have After I got out, they wanted me to move to England.
I found out he was coming back here and .
.
I had to be myself with someone.
You could have told me.
Could I? I'm going to have to go somewhere and start again, Bex.
I want that to be with you.
No.
Leave me alone.
Leave me alone.
I want you to know who I am.
You and Jess.
Leave me alone! I love you.
Hi.
You know you don't have to talk about it until you're ready, but as soon as you are, then I'm so lucky to have you.
We all are.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Hello.
10am tomorrow.
You know where.
Come on, then.
I don't want to.
Why not? I'm doing this, Dad! They're not going anywhere.
Come on.
This'll be good to keep.
OK, then.
Right, then.
Here we go.
Name? Liam.
Liam Graham.
Age? Nine.
And OK, what else? What do you want to be when you grow up? Big.
I want to be big.
No.
I used to come and lay flowers here at first.
Lots of people did.
And then I thought, what the hell are we doing? Anywhere but here.
Why did you give me your number? We didn't really finish the meeting.
We didn't really start it, did we? Well, Eddie? Are you sure you want to hear this? Don't use my feelings as an excuse to get out of this.
I know you think I kept it from you and I refused to say anything out of spite, but .
.
the truth is, I didn't even tell my best friend, and I'd have gotten out a lot sooner if You got out pretty bloody quick as it was.
You're not supposed to interrupt.
Fuck you! All I'm saying is, I didn't keep quiet to hurt you.
It was for It was for safety.
You have to tell me everything right now.
The first thing he said to the last thing he saw.
Everything.
I was staying with this woman my dad knew.
I hadn't been back in a couple of days but .
.
no-one had bothered so I spent half that day here.
I picked up a piece of glass off a broken bottle and I was just .
.
cutting myself.
I couldn't really feel it.
Like I wasn't really here.
I was looking for somewhere to be invisible.
Not for a victim.
I didn't choose Liam.
So you didn't take him from the shops? I don't know where he came from.
I didn't choose him.
So he could have been anyone? No.
I saw him walking there.
He was holding something in his hand like it was treasure.
He just stopped dead and stared straight at me.
It was a packet of football stickers.
He started walking towards me and he could see the blood on my arm.
He should have run a mile! But he didn't.
He just stood where you're standing now and he said, "Are you all right?" "Leave me alone!" I said.
But he doesn't.
He was so small.
Vulnerable.
"Shall I get someone?" he says.
And I can feel it.
The anger's starting to build up.
"Leave me alone," I say again.
He just moves closer .
.
and said .
.
"My mum's a nurse.
I can get her.
" He said that? He said you could help me.
You have to tell me the exact words he used.
All of them.
He said, "My mum's a nurse.
"She can help you.
"She helps anyone.
" I stand up and I've still got the piece of glass in my hand.
I shout at him then, "Fuck off, will you?!" But he doesn't go.
He just looks scared.
He says, "You won't get into trouble.
" I don't understand why he didn't just go.
He's looking right in my eyes but why didn't he just go? Why didn't he go?! I've waited so long to see you suffer.
Then what? Then what, Eddie? I stabbed him.
Where? In the neck.
How many times? Twice.
Three times.
And then he just .
.
sat down .
.
surprised.
He tried to say something but I just kept stabbing.
What was he saying? I I don't know.
Yes, you do.
- I don't remember.
What did he say? Say it! Say it! He called for you.
And his dad too.
I promised Liam I wouldn't cry in front of you.
I've let him down again.
Then what did you do? I didn't know what to do.
I was covered in blood.
So I ran.
What? - I ran.
You left him here? But as I was running, I thought, "If I hide him properly, no-one will know.
" How long for? - They said I tortured him and I didn't.
How long?!I don't know.
Ten minutes? But when I came back, he hadn't moved at all.
He had to be dead.
But you didn't check? You didn't check.
There were other injuries.
I had to get it off the path and down the bank.
- Him! I had to get him down the hill but he was dead.
You .
.
threw bricks and rubbish all over him.
I was trying to hide it.
Him! Him.
Him.
He was dead.
I promise you.
They told me I'd have to forgive myself! Like it's a decision I can make.
I couldn't do it.
But I can't live with this every minute of every day.
So how do I go on? I know I can't ever make it right.
I knew that straight away.
That it would never go away.
And every time I caught myself smiling .
.
watching Jess in her school play, laughing at something on the TV, I'd remember what I did .
.
and I've got no right to be happy.
Not even for a minute.
I asked them after the sentencing to speak to you so I could apologise but they said it wasn't allowed and you wouldn't accept it anyway.
And after time, I realised how small it is, that word.
It just got smaller.
And what I did kept on getting bigger.
There's not much that can really be said in the end, is there? But I am, Anna.
I am so sorry.
I'm Eddie.
There was nothing that you could have done.
I'm the only one that could have stopped it.
He wanted to be big.
What is it? It's not him.
I didn't want to text or phone to tell you but I don't believe you.
- On my kids.
It's true.
No.
You've had it confirmed it's Myers and now you're scared.
You have to listen to me.
Craig Myers is not Eddie J Turner.
You're lying.
I saw him, Anna.
Saw who? - Do you not understand what I'm telling you? Who did you see? - We have ruined an innocent man's life! Who, Mo? I won't tell you.
Mo! - No.
You have to tell me, for Liam's sake.
This isn't about Liam, not any more.
It's over, Anna.
We ruined his life.
Members of the jury, will your spokesperson please rise? Have you reached a verdict in respect of the accused, Anna Louise Dean? Yes.
What is your verdict? Guilty.
Are there any deletions or amendments to the charge? Deletion of the word murder, amended to assault to danger of life.
My Lady, pending preparation of reports, I make an application for bail.
Mrs Dean is part of a strong family unit, has no previous convictions and has adhered to the conditions of bail set at the petition hearing.
I will continue to grant bail, subject to the same special conditions.
This is Christian.
Leave me a message and I'll get back to you.
It's not him.
Christian, it's not Craig Myers.
The social worker meets Turner in the cafe but you're not looking for Craig Myers.
OK, so .
.
in short, they believed Anna posted the message and wanted Craig Myers assaulted but not that she wanted him dead.
It's not great but it could have been a lot worse.
So what now? Sentencing in a few weeks' time.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Oh, Mum.
I was wrong.
About what? Everything.
Craig Myers.
All of it.
You were never convinced but I wouldn't listen .
.
and now it's too late.
Anna, are you genuinely saying you may have made a mistake? Does that mean you might be willing to apologise to Mr Myers? What does it matter? It may matter a lot.
What are you thinking? Restorative justice.
It's a process in which the guilty party meets with the victim of a crime and takes part in a mediated discussion about the impact of it.
An apology isn't a strict prerequisite of the process, but for the purposes of the court, if it goes well, it may just persuade the judge to go for a community-based disposal.
So you mean this could keep her out of prison? It's worth a try, isn't it? But Anna would have to completely accept the roles assigned by the court, namely that she is the criminal and he's the victim.
Craig? At last! Where have you been? They've delivered the verdict.
What happened? Guilty.
She's guilty.
We won, Craig.
You won.
Thanks.
Can you talk to someone for me? About what? Hello? They found me guilty of a lesser charge but guilty.
Thanks.
She's here now, Danny.
I'll pass you over.
Ben? Ben's at school.
Where are you? Louise?! What's going on with Lou and Danny? Was that him on the phone? What's happened? She's been trying to get hold of him all night.
- Lenny, what's going on? It was Danny who found Liam's body.
No, it wasn't! It couldn't have been Danny? Gerry Tythe told us.
What? I'm so sorry I didn't tell you.
- He's got Ben.
Danny's got Ben! Phone the school.
You heard the verdict, boss? Did you go and see a William Napier in custody at Edinburgh? He attacked Craig Myers.
Told you that, did he? No, because Anna Dean has a hold over him, but I'm going to talk to DS Harvey.
No.
No, you're not.
Napier has made a complaint to his solicitor despite your warnings or threats.
Boss Not only did you ignore a direct order from me Look, if we can get an admission before Anna Dean is sentenced .
.
you interviewed a potential suspect alone and unrecorded.
Do you really think we'd get a conviction after that? Well, I'm surprised you're not congratulating me.
It means all this will go away a lot quicker, doesn't it? I'm suspending you from duty as of now.
She's laughing at us, you know that? She's sitting there with Napier right now having a good old chuckle.
Napier isn't chuckling with anyone.
He tried to kill himself last night.
I need your warrant card.
Ben! Come here! Why? Just do as you're told, OK? No, no, no, you stay where you are.
He never wanted to lie.
What have you told him? The truth.
- And what's that? Why, Danny? The night we met .
.
I didn't know how to talk to you, and then .
.
you mentioned Liam, like, straight away.
Why?! All those years .
.
I didn't know what to do with any of it.
I couldn't let go of it.
I couldn't talk about it either.
Then, all of a sudden .
.
you made it .
.
real.
You and then Anna, you made it .
.
normal.
You think what you've done is normal? You used me.
- I couldn't tell you straight off, could I? Ben, can you please just come here? He wanted to come with me, I said no.
Tell Anna that.
No, no.
Don't you ever contact me or my family ever again.
Go on, pal.
Go on.
And remember .
.
OK? It's not my fault.
Will you tell her that? That he wanted to come with me? Oh! I don't understand this.
Why should he? That's a good question.
- I know.
But what's the answer? She's ruined his life.
You can refuse the meeting, Craig.
There's no obligation.
It's in her interests, though, isn't it? Not his.
Actually, this process is all about the victim.
The questions we ask after a crime - what laws have been broken, who broke them, what do they deserve as punishment - are about the offender, whereas restorative justice asks, who's been hurt? What do they need? And whose obligation is it to repair that damage? I think it's right to focus on your needs, Craig.
This is about what you need to move forward now.
That's all.
I'd have come sooner if I'd known.
But the surgery only called me today.
Carol said you had some interesting ideas for redecorating the place.
I'm sorry, Anna.
I've told you before, you don't have to apologise to me.
You trusted me .
.
and I got you in trouble.
William, tell me you didn't.
Not you.
I didn't mean to get you in trouble.
Is that why you did this to yourself? He doesn't deserve to be free.
I want him to die.
I want all the sick bastards to die.
This is my fault.
What I did was wrong.
I'm going to tell them it was me.
I'm going to confess.
He says I am a victim .
.
but I'm not.
No.
Taxi's here.
Are you sure you don't want me to drive you? I'll call you straight after.
We're all proud of you, you know.
Welcome.
How was the journey? He's not here yet.
It's important, the circle, because we're all connected.
What you do affects me and vice versa.
Welcome.
Thank you both for coming.
I'm Simone.
Craig, this is Anna.
Anna, this is Craig.
You're both here voluntarily to talk about the offence Anna was recently convicted of.
You'll both get a chance to speak but I'd ask you to be respectful and not to interrupt.
Mobile phones off or on silent, please.
Obviously, I'll be writing a report the judge will see, but can we agree that anything said in this room will remain private and confidential? OK.
Anna, can I ask you to go back to last October and talk about your state of mind leading up to the offence? It was the same as it's been since as long as I can remember.
How much I miss my son.
And that I can't rest until the identity of the man who killed him is made public.
A few weeks before Halloween .
.
I received information that Eddie J Turner was living in Port Glasgow under the name Craig Myers.
I looked his address up online .
.
and I saw two schools within a mile of his house.
I felt sick.
I needed to warn people.
So I bought a pay-as-you-go phone .
.
set up an account using false details and I posted his picture online with his name and address.
I'm not saying I didn't know there would be consequences.
For Craig, you mean? For everyone.
And knowing there would be consequences, can you remember how it felt pressing that button and making the accusation public? It felt good .
.
at the time.
Why do you think that was, Anna? I think it was because I was doing something.
And even if I got caught, it was still better than being so .
.
helpless, I suppose.
Do you remember any other feelings? You mean guilt? If you felt any.
The only guilt I felt at the time was about lying to my family.
I regret that.
But the anger was bigger than the guilt.
It always is.
It's bigger than anything.
Are you angry now? I'm always angry.
It never goes away.
It's hate.
I hate him.
You mean Eddie J Turner? Is it him you hate or what he did? I don't believe you can separate them.
And I know that sometimes the hate can affect my judgments .
.
but it's who I am now.
I was never the same person after Liam died.
I started to see the bad in people .
.
before the good.
And it made me harder.
None of this is any excuse for what I've done to you.
I thought he was you but I was wrong .
.
and I'm sorry.
I don't want your apology.
Anna, you said you accept you were wrong for posting the name of the person you believed No.
That's not what I'm saying.
I'm saying .
.
I'm saying I was wrong to accuse him.
So if I was him, you wouldn't be sorry? No.
I wouldn't be sorry.
I can't apologise for trying to get justice for my son.
Not to anyone.
And what exactly did you hope to achieve, Anna, by doing what you did? I thought, naively .
.
that if I made him stand up in court .
.
it would all come out.
The mask would slip.
He'd have to face what he did.
Face me.
And I would find out why.
The "Why?" question is a huge one for anybody who's been affected by crime, isn't it, Craig? Has what Anna's shared so far gone any way to answering the "Why?" for you? She still hasn't said where my name came from.
I'm sorry, I can't tell anyone that.
Or whether she sent that guy to my house.
- No.
I didn't.
Do you know who he was? All I can say is I truly wish it hadn't happened.
Craig, when you woke in hospital and found out you'd been attacked as a result of this accusation, how did you feel? I know about anger.
She's not the only one.
I felt guilty.
In the hospital? Guilty about what? That my daughter had to see me like that.
Lying there, bleeding all over the carpet.
That was her home.
The one place she should feel safe.
She thought I was dead.
Six years old and she's defending me to the other kids at school.
It's meant to be me protecting her.
And you feel guilty about that? And that it was a relief, in a way, when they left.
Because at least when they're nowhere near me, I don't have to worry about them so much.
I'd be lying if I said I was sorry for trying to find Turner .
.
but the last thing I wanted was for more innocent people to get hurt.
I'm so sorry, Craig.
I don't want your apology.
I said that! You obviously find it hard to hear.
I think I need a break.
Will you look at me? Please.
I know it's not enough but I need you to know.
Don't! Don't what, Craig? I need a break! I'm so sorry for what I've done to you.
Don't! - Craig.
Please Craig Don't.
Will you look at me, please? Stop! - OK.
- I'm so sorry, Craig.
Please I'm not Craig! I'm Eddie J Turner! That's why I'm here.
Because there's no getting away from it.
I'm him, he's me.
He still is.
Anna.
Don't go.
Anna! Which way is out? "This is Christian.
Leave me a message and I'll get back to you.
" Faster, please.
As fast as you can.
Answer, Christian.
Please answer the phone! "This is Christian.
Leave me a message and I'll get back to you.
" Excuse me.
Are you Christian? Your wife's on the phone.
Your bell's broke.
I took the batteries out.
I come in peace.
You didn't phone.
Is it your day off? You said you'd phone and tell me what was said at the meeting.
Were there any admissions? Only mine.
You should tell someone.
Solomon, at least.
And what about Louise and Lenny? I don't know.
I should definitely phone them, though.
They'll be wondering.
He must have put this in my bag.
What the hell was he thinking? Phone Solomon now.
No, Anna.
He's the only one that can tell us what happened.
No.
We should make him do what I just had to do.
Make him tell the truth with no-one there to speak for him.
I don't want to know what happened.
So what do you want, Christian? Because we can't go back, can we? So what do you want? Hiya, mate.
What are you doing here? Judith said you went to see her as well.
Yeah, because I'm worried about you.
You're not exactly reassuring me.
Who's Judith? She's the woman who's looked after my case since I was released.
I'm a liar, Bex.
I was taught to lie.
I was told my life depended on it.
I came close to telling you so many times but I couldn't risk losing you both.
You looked me in the eye and you said, "I'm not him.
" How could you do that?! Because I'd convinced myself that I wasn't! You see, I've lied to everybody, including me.
You didn't lie to him.
I shared a cell with Tom in jail.
I had to tell somebody or else I would have After I got out, they wanted me to move to England.
I found out he was coming back here and .
.
I had to be myself with someone.
You could have told me.
Could I? I'm going to have to go somewhere and start again, Bex.
I want that to be with you.
No.
Leave me alone.
Leave me alone.
I want you to know who I am.
You and Jess.
Leave me alone! I love you.
Hi.
You know you don't have to talk about it until you're ready, but as soon as you are, then I'm so lucky to have you.
We all are.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Hello.
10am tomorrow.
You know where.
Come on, then.
I don't want to.
Why not? I'm doing this, Dad! They're not going anywhere.
Come on.
This'll be good to keep.
OK, then.
Right, then.
Here we go.
Name? Liam.
Liam Graham.
Age? Nine.
And OK, what else? What do you want to be when you grow up? Big.
I want to be big.
No.
I used to come and lay flowers here at first.
Lots of people did.
And then I thought, what the hell are we doing? Anywhere but here.
Why did you give me your number? We didn't really finish the meeting.
We didn't really start it, did we? Well, Eddie? Are you sure you want to hear this? Don't use my feelings as an excuse to get out of this.
I know you think I kept it from you and I refused to say anything out of spite, but .
.
the truth is, I didn't even tell my best friend, and I'd have gotten out a lot sooner if You got out pretty bloody quick as it was.
You're not supposed to interrupt.
Fuck you! All I'm saying is, I didn't keep quiet to hurt you.
It was for It was for safety.
You have to tell me everything right now.
The first thing he said to the last thing he saw.
Everything.
I was staying with this woman my dad knew.
I hadn't been back in a couple of days but .
.
no-one had bothered so I spent half that day here.
I picked up a piece of glass off a broken bottle and I was just .
.
cutting myself.
I couldn't really feel it.
Like I wasn't really here.
I was looking for somewhere to be invisible.
Not for a victim.
I didn't choose Liam.
So you didn't take him from the shops? I don't know where he came from.
I didn't choose him.
So he could have been anyone? No.
I saw him walking there.
He was holding something in his hand like it was treasure.
He just stopped dead and stared straight at me.
It was a packet of football stickers.
He started walking towards me and he could see the blood on my arm.
He should have run a mile! But he didn't.
He just stood where you're standing now and he said, "Are you all right?" "Leave me alone!" I said.
But he doesn't.
He was so small.
Vulnerable.
"Shall I get someone?" he says.
And I can feel it.
The anger's starting to build up.
"Leave me alone," I say again.
He just moves closer .
.
and said .
.
"My mum's a nurse.
I can get her.
" He said that? He said you could help me.
You have to tell me the exact words he used.
All of them.
He said, "My mum's a nurse.
"She can help you.
"She helps anyone.
" I stand up and I've still got the piece of glass in my hand.
I shout at him then, "Fuck off, will you?!" But he doesn't go.
He just looks scared.
He says, "You won't get into trouble.
" I don't understand why he didn't just go.
He's looking right in my eyes but why didn't he just go? Why didn't he go?! I've waited so long to see you suffer.
Then what? Then what, Eddie? I stabbed him.
Where? In the neck.
How many times? Twice.
Three times.
And then he just .
.
sat down .
.
surprised.
He tried to say something but I just kept stabbing.
What was he saying? I I don't know.
Yes, you do.
- I don't remember.
What did he say? Say it! Say it! He called for you.
And his dad too.
I promised Liam I wouldn't cry in front of you.
I've let him down again.
Then what did you do? I didn't know what to do.
I was covered in blood.
So I ran.
What? - I ran.
You left him here? But as I was running, I thought, "If I hide him properly, no-one will know.
" How long for? - They said I tortured him and I didn't.
How long?!I don't know.
Ten minutes? But when I came back, he hadn't moved at all.
He had to be dead.
But you didn't check? You didn't check.
There were other injuries.
I had to get it off the path and down the bank.
- Him! I had to get him down the hill but he was dead.
You .
.
threw bricks and rubbish all over him.
I was trying to hide it.
Him! Him.
Him.
He was dead.
I promise you.
They told me I'd have to forgive myself! Like it's a decision I can make.
I couldn't do it.
But I can't live with this every minute of every day.
So how do I go on? I know I can't ever make it right.
I knew that straight away.
That it would never go away.
And every time I caught myself smiling .
.
watching Jess in her school play, laughing at something on the TV, I'd remember what I did .
.
and I've got no right to be happy.
Not even for a minute.
I asked them after the sentencing to speak to you so I could apologise but they said it wasn't allowed and you wouldn't accept it anyway.
And after time, I realised how small it is, that word.
It just got smaller.
And what I did kept on getting bigger.
There's not much that can really be said in the end, is there? But I am, Anna.
I am so sorry.
I'm Eddie.
There was nothing that you could have done.
I'm the only one that could have stopped it.
He wanted to be big.