The Warriors (2017) s01e04 Episode Script
Episode 4
1 Listen, smart-arse, you're only still here because I pulled strings.
- The board wanted you gone, boy.
- Yeah, yeah.
You are fucking high! What are you doing here, Bill? Are you coaching now? No, I'm not, but as far as I can fucking see, neither are you.
Welcome to Onion's Ring.
- Snapping! - Look out! (CRIES OUT) Ooh! No, I'm not going in.
He's scared about making the 22.
Maki, I'm open! Oi, I'm open! What the hell's he doing? The way you're kicking today I can understand why Maki didn't pass it to you, right? Stop laughing! (COACH SHOUTS ORDERS) Yeah, nice work.
Get up there! (GROANS) Reckon we should we put him out of his misery? Let's see if he can run it out, eh? He's still got six weeks.
He's a good boy.
COACH: You're up, Zane.
Oi, Mak, wait your turn.
Go on, then.
Show me.
Hey, hey, don't worry, man.
Get this one.
(MEN JEER) SPINNER: Okay, listening up.
Now, you all do realise that we haven't selected the final 22, right? Most of you are playing like you don't deserve to be here.
Okay.
Stix.
Fennessy.
Cannon.
And That's it.
My office, boys.
Zane, a word? Hey, Coach.
Now, you know you were sent here because of your kicking, mate, yeah? - Yeah, I know.
- You need to show me something.
Yeah.
Hit the showers.
My crippled aunt could have kicked that goal.
Oh, not helping, Bill.
I'm not running a charity for crap kickers.
You play like that again, you won't make the 22.
And you've got nothing to smile about, sunshine.
We don't appreciate selfishness here.
You don't win a flag on your own.
You got that, big man? Bad girls, see 'em talkin' 'bout me Ride around with a smiley on me - Get it, I went and got it - Hey Momma gave me life, the attitude is my daddy - Bless 'em, I gonna get it for 'em - Get it for 'em I bought it, I'm gonna give it to 'em - Give it to 'em - I was always gonna make it Never drop the ball, nobody's gonna take it He wakes up every mornin', one thing on his mind This ain't just a game, it's a way of life Watchin' the players on his TV screen Sayin', "I can do that, I wanna live that dream" So he stays focused with his goals ahead Never loses sight from the words that he said Full of confidence, no doubt in his head Still no rest after the blood, tears and sweat Stays out late at the park after dark Ball in his hand, in his eyes is a spark He prepares for the weekend, big game coming up Grand final fever, don't believe in being runner-up To know where he's going Scottie! Breakfast! Drink up, bro.
A recipe from up home.
Old one.
Pop calls it 'gulliwan'.
- Gulliwan? - Yeah, gulliwan.
- Bush medicine.
- Oh, bush medicine for my knee? - Yeah.
- Ah.
Okay.
But you have to drink it fresh and fast.
(BELCHES) Oh! That was good.
Thanks, Mak! You're not normal.
Thanks, brother.
(CRASH!) Shit! - Bin day your turn! - Shit! Fuck! WOMAN: Morning! Is this number three Johnson? - Yeah.
- Cool.
Can I come in? Yeah, just give us a minute.
What's what the hell's going on? There's a beautiful vixen coming down the driveway.
- Who is she? - Who cares? Just help me clean up! Maki! Oh, shit! Laundry, laundry.
Zane, get down here! - Clean up! - What? What's going on? There's a babe at the front door.
Ah! She probably heard that I live here.
Yeah, step aside, boys.
I'll take care of this.
Just get the door! Okay.
I'm ready.
BOTH: What the fuck! Fuck.
- That's my sister.
- Aw, shit.
Oh, my God.
I see your maturity levels have developed well, unlike something else.
I thought you were coming tonight! - Hi, guys.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I'm Doc.
How you doing? - I'm Ava.
That's Scottie.
- Scottie.
How you going? - Scottie? - Zane's sister.
- It's his sister! (LAUGHS) Maki? Gotta work at this, Zane.
Don't give up, mate.
Come on, fellas! Come on! Through the sticks! What's the matter with you guys? How wide do those posts have to be apart? Hey! Okay! Wrap it up! Let's go! Change rooms! Hey, Spin! Spin! Give us a minute, yeah? (CHUCKLES) Oh! That was close.
Fuck me, that kid's got a million-dollar boot and a ten-cent head.
We're not gonna get our money's worth, I can tell you.
It's early days, Bill.
Relax.
Yeah, well, if he doesn't do something soon, he's gone.
That's not your call.
Now, up there behind the glass walls, feel free to talk about whatever fucking shit you want to.
But down here on the turf, it's my rules.
I'm just saying what everyone's seeing, Coach.
Come on, Zane! Kick it through! Hi, I'm Deb Van Exel.
- Ava Phillips.
- Yeah.
170 marks, 86 goals in the junior league.
I think we bought the wrong Phillips.
So, Zane tells me that you've come down to try out for the women's league.
Yeah, pity there's not one here, though.
I have been trying, but things are a bit backward here.
I'll keep working on it.
He's really proud of you, you know? Now, feel free to use the facilities here, okay? Be good to have you around.
- Ready? - Piece of shit.
Come on, mate.
That won't help.
Go again.
How's he looking? I can't make this out.
What's wrong? Well, that's the problem.
Absolutely nothing.
Your technique's fine and physically, you're rock solid.
I'm a head case.
I'll tell you what we'll have another look at it tonight, okay? See if we can show you something a little bit more concrete tomorrow, okay? Why don't you have another go, mate? This is a good rally.
Oh, yes! What did they say? Come on.
It can't be that bad.
Man, I could kick better when I was six.
Spinner says it's nothing about my technique, so I'm fucked if I know what's going on.
Man, look, I know it can be hard.
I mean I mean, do you remember my epic fail? What? You mean the kick right in front? One point down, no time left, out on the full? The kick that lost you a spot in the grand final? Yeah.
Yeah, thanks for the recap.
Yeah, I was there.
I cried.
Anyway I couldn't kick straight for months.
Man, the media hammered you.
Yeah, it was pretty tough to focus.
Yes! Club! Oh, Maki.
What am I high-fiving you for? Boys, boys, boys! Let's go celebrate Ava's victory! Club? - Oh, I'm not feeling too good.
- Oh! Listen, we all know the pressure that ol' honey legs is under and how shit his kicking is, yes? Oh, thanks, mate.
But don't worry.
Big W's got the answer, okay? 'Cause believe it or not, I have been there.
It's called "moon" theory, yeah? - Moun.
- Moun.
- Moun theory.
- Moun.
It's like moun.
Moun.
- Moun.
- Moun.
Whatever! You've gotta get laid.
If you don't get enough moun, you don't kick straight.
If you don't kick straight, you're off the team.
And if you're off the team, the moun dries up, so let's go get some - Moun? - Hey! (THUMPING MUSIC PLAYS IN THE DISTANCE) - All right.
Thank you, matey.
- This way, fellas.
Good evening, Doc.
Enjoy.
I'll show you how it's done! Hey, hey! You probably noticed me from across the room and you thought, "Hey, isn't that?" No, we we didn't.
(BOTH LAUGH) I did.
You did? Yeah.
I thought, "Isn't that the Warriors ruckman?" And I wondered if maybe you tasted like gingerbread.
Gingerbread? I usually don't eat processed carbs, so Boy, I am going to cut you out, slap you on a tray and stick you in my oven.
DOC: Look at this guy over here.
He's like it's like he's at a funeral.
I'll be back.
Two minutes, all right? I just gotta Hey! You're supposed to be relaxing, huh? You don't look very relaxed.
Kinda hard to chill in a place like this.
Yeah.
Uh, how about we get out of here? Doc, Zane-o! Shots.
Shots.
- Get in here.
- WOMAN: Thank you.
Ladies, welcome to the luxurious Warriors Clubhouse.
Try not to feel overawed.
(OVERLAPPING DRUNKEN CHATTER) Smile for the camera, guys.
Whoo, whoo! Why would anyone want to be a security guard? Trust me, the guards LOVE their jobs.
Come on.
Get in.
(LAUGHS) Anyway, he said, "Big W, you keep playing the way you're playing, "you're definitely getting BOG.
" That's Best On Ground.
You should know that.
Anyway, long story short, win the tap naturally and then pop! - Let's go, gingernuts.
- What do you think it was? - ACL? - Third ACL! - Farewell, all.
- See ya.
Would anyone like a tour? - WOMAN: Ooh! Me! Thank you.
- Come on.
- WOMAN: Show us around.
- I shall! Follow me, children! Hey, did you want to go for a tour? I want your love Ah-hum Right now, I said Oh, yeah! That's the way.
Yeah.
Oh! Ah-hum My, my, my, my Ah-hum My, my, my, my Ah-hum Ah-hum Ah-hum Ah, no.
No, thanks.
You take it.
Don't start pretending like you're a good boy now.
Do you have something to wash this down with? "Welcome to the 300 club.
" What is that, like the mile-high club? Yeah, yeah.
For footy players.
- Uh, 300 games.
- So this is special.
Ooh, yeah.
You've been such a dirty girl Ah-hum You've been such a good boy Ah-hum You've been such a dirty girl This here's the sports science room.
- This is cool.
- I know, right? - AVA: Yep! - Heads up.
Yep.
Okay.
Help me with my spin.
Come on.
Okay.
Just once.
- Hold the ball like this.
- Yeah? Can you feel my leg? Yeah.
Now follow through and drop kick.
Too good, eh? So teach me how to say something in your language.
Like what? Like how do I say 'foot'? (SPEAKS IN HIS LANGUAGE) (REPEATS WORD) Mm-hm.
Yeah.
(REPEATS WORD) And how do I say 'head'? (SPEAKS IN HIS LANGUAGE) (REPEATS WORD) Yeah.
(REPEATS WORD) (REPEATS WORD, LAUGHS) This one here is (SPEAKS IN HIS LANGUAGE) (REPEATS WORD) Mmm.
Your heart.
My, my, my, my Ah-hum My, my, my, my Ah-hum I mean, I just can't work it out.
I've gone over and over the footage and everything I'm doing is the same.
- Maybe that's your problem.
- Nothing's changed! I do the same routine that I've always done.
I just can't figure it out.
What am I doing wrong? Can we stop talking about this? Look, I'll show you.
What are you doing? You've been crapping on for the last 40 minutes.
Ah-hum.
You've been such a dirty girl Ah-hum You've been such a good boy Ah-hum I want your love Ah-hum I love this job.
Right by my side Ah-hum.
(KETTLE WHISTLES) Ugh.
What time is it? 7:15.
And your father, for all of his faults, is here every day at 7:30, and if he sees you here Oh, I couldn't give a shit.
Could I just have one day where I don't have to deal with you and your father's crap? Fine.
What's with the kettle? That is for the bottle.
- Can you pass it here? - Ooh, wait, wait, wait.
Before you do that Have you ever tried a 30-year-old? I'm sorry? Soft.
Mellowed with age.
No, I'm good.
You're not curious? You look like a single malt woman.
It's good.
Now, will you get out of here? Please? Thank you.
Wait.
These are not your size.
Thanks, Deb.
Ah! Loud! Stupid fuckin' door.
- Morning, princess.
- Ugh.
Yeah, I'm with you, mate.
Oh, my God.
Here we go, boys.
Here we go.
- Boys! Boys, boys, boys.
- What? You're welcome.
(COUGHS) Oh! Oh, what is that? It smells like dog vomit.
It's gulliwan.
It's bush medicine.
It's it's good for hangovers, all right? Drink it! Dog vomit? Mate, this would put a horn on a bloody jellyfish.
Are you serious? Not that you needed it last night, hey? - Or you.
- See ya, boys.
Oh! See ya.
Bye, baby.
Okay, so it was a good night.
Good night? It sounded better than a bloody good night.
Moun theory, I'm telling you.
You should have seen him in there.
It was a fucking wave pool.
You were watching? Just for a second.
Needed some pointers.
Well, you know, rooting and kicking the footy are two very different things.
Not really.
Like when you see, like, the sticks up in the air, yeah? And then, like, you hit the balls in the sweet spot? You know what I'm talking about? When you score, like, you hear your name screamed over and over and like, "Zane! Zane! Zane!" Please shut your hole.
- (LAUGHS) - Anyway, they're pretty similar.
Well, brother, I don't feel any different.
Prove you wrong.
Trust me, mate.
Moun theory.
Take this.
- DOC: Come on, bro.
In the skip! - Come on, brother.
- You got it.
You got it.
- It's easy! Oh! Look, just relax! Oi! Think about the spa bath last night, yeah? Yeah? - You know what I'm talking about.
- Come on, matey.
MAKI: Come on, brother.
Boys, I don't know.
Last one.
I promise you.
Trust me, you've got it.
You've got this one.
- MAKI: Yes! Number one! - ZANE: Hey.
Thanks for that, Mak.
'Cause that really helped.
- Really? Did you have to? - Not cool, mate.
Here.
- DOC: Zaney! - SCOTTIE: Zane.
Hey! Zane! (KNOCK AT DOOR) AVA: I'm not going anywhere.
Just go away! - Just open the door, Zane! - Ava! Zane, fix it or everything will be worthless.
Look where you are.
How many guys did you beat just to get here? Yeah, well, that doesn't seem to make a difference to some, does it? What are you talking about? Your dancing partner last night? Maki? Are you serious? Look, I busted my arse off to get into this team.
And now I can't kick straight to save my life.
I would rather quit than get cut.
(THUNDER RUMBLES) Okay? Knew you'd show.
How? I've been watching you ever since the first time you kicked the footy and you're no quitter.
Ah, nice one.
So, when's the try-outs? Next week.
All right.
Behind.
Could have won a grand final with that.
Or lost one.
You gonna try again? Well I did show, didn't I? Goal, brother! Deadly! Go again.
Oh! And again! I've got that kicking footage you were after.
Hey, uh, Zane, I want you to look at this too, man.
Come here.
Come here.
This is really helpful.
Approach, drop, follow through.
- It's all perfect.
- SPINNER: It's all good.
What happened? - Huh? - What's this? Oi, boys.
Come check this out.
What the? Okay, okay.
I want to know.
Tell me, who is that? Huh? Who is it? Whoever it is, he's not kicking a football.
(LAUGHTER) He's certainly kicking a few goals, but I just can't figure out how they're doing it in those suits.
Nice move.
Nice move.
(LAUGHTER) - Turn around! - Turn around! - Show us your - Turn around! - Ooh-hoo-hoo! - Just take the photo.
- That's it.
- Oh! Money shot.
Yes, go, go, go, go, go, go! (LAUGHTER) Oi, boys, wait up! Stop! Stop! Go, go, go, go! (TYRES SCREECH, CRASH!) MAN: Last year's wooden spooners, and now this shit?! Jesus, in my day we did a hell of a lot worse.
The name is coming off the shirt.
Fuck off, you spineless prick! ALL: Gonna get the moona Gonna get the moona Ooh, gonna get the moon now Get the moon now, get the moon now You just lost us 2 million dollars.
Sort yourself out.
We need a new sponsor by Monday.
And I think I know someone who can help us.
(GASPS)
- The board wanted you gone, boy.
- Yeah, yeah.
You are fucking high! What are you doing here, Bill? Are you coaching now? No, I'm not, but as far as I can fucking see, neither are you.
Welcome to Onion's Ring.
- Snapping! - Look out! (CRIES OUT) Ooh! No, I'm not going in.
He's scared about making the 22.
Maki, I'm open! Oi, I'm open! What the hell's he doing? The way you're kicking today I can understand why Maki didn't pass it to you, right? Stop laughing! (COACH SHOUTS ORDERS) Yeah, nice work.
Get up there! (GROANS) Reckon we should we put him out of his misery? Let's see if he can run it out, eh? He's still got six weeks.
He's a good boy.
COACH: You're up, Zane.
Oi, Mak, wait your turn.
Go on, then.
Show me.
Hey, hey, don't worry, man.
Get this one.
(MEN JEER) SPINNER: Okay, listening up.
Now, you all do realise that we haven't selected the final 22, right? Most of you are playing like you don't deserve to be here.
Okay.
Stix.
Fennessy.
Cannon.
And That's it.
My office, boys.
Zane, a word? Hey, Coach.
Now, you know you were sent here because of your kicking, mate, yeah? - Yeah, I know.
- You need to show me something.
Yeah.
Hit the showers.
My crippled aunt could have kicked that goal.
Oh, not helping, Bill.
I'm not running a charity for crap kickers.
You play like that again, you won't make the 22.
And you've got nothing to smile about, sunshine.
We don't appreciate selfishness here.
You don't win a flag on your own.
You got that, big man? Bad girls, see 'em talkin' 'bout me Ride around with a smiley on me - Get it, I went and got it - Hey Momma gave me life, the attitude is my daddy - Bless 'em, I gonna get it for 'em - Get it for 'em I bought it, I'm gonna give it to 'em - Give it to 'em - I was always gonna make it Never drop the ball, nobody's gonna take it He wakes up every mornin', one thing on his mind This ain't just a game, it's a way of life Watchin' the players on his TV screen Sayin', "I can do that, I wanna live that dream" So he stays focused with his goals ahead Never loses sight from the words that he said Full of confidence, no doubt in his head Still no rest after the blood, tears and sweat Stays out late at the park after dark Ball in his hand, in his eyes is a spark He prepares for the weekend, big game coming up Grand final fever, don't believe in being runner-up To know where he's going Scottie! Breakfast! Drink up, bro.
A recipe from up home.
Old one.
Pop calls it 'gulliwan'.
- Gulliwan? - Yeah, gulliwan.
- Bush medicine.
- Oh, bush medicine for my knee? - Yeah.
- Ah.
Okay.
But you have to drink it fresh and fast.
(BELCHES) Oh! That was good.
Thanks, Mak! You're not normal.
Thanks, brother.
(CRASH!) Shit! - Bin day your turn! - Shit! Fuck! WOMAN: Morning! Is this number three Johnson? - Yeah.
- Cool.
Can I come in? Yeah, just give us a minute.
What's what the hell's going on? There's a beautiful vixen coming down the driveway.
- Who is she? - Who cares? Just help me clean up! Maki! Oh, shit! Laundry, laundry.
Zane, get down here! - Clean up! - What? What's going on? There's a babe at the front door.
Ah! She probably heard that I live here.
Yeah, step aside, boys.
I'll take care of this.
Just get the door! Okay.
I'm ready.
BOTH: What the fuck! Fuck.
- That's my sister.
- Aw, shit.
Oh, my God.
I see your maturity levels have developed well, unlike something else.
I thought you were coming tonight! - Hi, guys.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I'm Doc.
How you doing? - I'm Ava.
That's Scottie.
- Scottie.
How you going? - Scottie? - Zane's sister.
- It's his sister! (LAUGHS) Maki? Gotta work at this, Zane.
Don't give up, mate.
Come on, fellas! Come on! Through the sticks! What's the matter with you guys? How wide do those posts have to be apart? Hey! Okay! Wrap it up! Let's go! Change rooms! Hey, Spin! Spin! Give us a minute, yeah? (CHUCKLES) Oh! That was close.
Fuck me, that kid's got a million-dollar boot and a ten-cent head.
We're not gonna get our money's worth, I can tell you.
It's early days, Bill.
Relax.
Yeah, well, if he doesn't do something soon, he's gone.
That's not your call.
Now, up there behind the glass walls, feel free to talk about whatever fucking shit you want to.
But down here on the turf, it's my rules.
I'm just saying what everyone's seeing, Coach.
Come on, Zane! Kick it through! Hi, I'm Deb Van Exel.
- Ava Phillips.
- Yeah.
170 marks, 86 goals in the junior league.
I think we bought the wrong Phillips.
So, Zane tells me that you've come down to try out for the women's league.
Yeah, pity there's not one here, though.
I have been trying, but things are a bit backward here.
I'll keep working on it.
He's really proud of you, you know? Now, feel free to use the facilities here, okay? Be good to have you around.
- Ready? - Piece of shit.
Come on, mate.
That won't help.
Go again.
How's he looking? I can't make this out.
What's wrong? Well, that's the problem.
Absolutely nothing.
Your technique's fine and physically, you're rock solid.
I'm a head case.
I'll tell you what we'll have another look at it tonight, okay? See if we can show you something a little bit more concrete tomorrow, okay? Why don't you have another go, mate? This is a good rally.
Oh, yes! What did they say? Come on.
It can't be that bad.
Man, I could kick better when I was six.
Spinner says it's nothing about my technique, so I'm fucked if I know what's going on.
Man, look, I know it can be hard.
I mean I mean, do you remember my epic fail? What? You mean the kick right in front? One point down, no time left, out on the full? The kick that lost you a spot in the grand final? Yeah.
Yeah, thanks for the recap.
Yeah, I was there.
I cried.
Anyway I couldn't kick straight for months.
Man, the media hammered you.
Yeah, it was pretty tough to focus.
Yes! Club! Oh, Maki.
What am I high-fiving you for? Boys, boys, boys! Let's go celebrate Ava's victory! Club? - Oh, I'm not feeling too good.
- Oh! Listen, we all know the pressure that ol' honey legs is under and how shit his kicking is, yes? Oh, thanks, mate.
But don't worry.
Big W's got the answer, okay? 'Cause believe it or not, I have been there.
It's called "moon" theory, yeah? - Moun.
- Moun.
- Moun theory.
- Moun.
It's like moun.
Moun.
- Moun.
- Moun.
Whatever! You've gotta get laid.
If you don't get enough moun, you don't kick straight.
If you don't kick straight, you're off the team.
And if you're off the team, the moun dries up, so let's go get some - Moun? - Hey! (THUMPING MUSIC PLAYS IN THE DISTANCE) - All right.
Thank you, matey.
- This way, fellas.
Good evening, Doc.
Enjoy.
I'll show you how it's done! Hey, hey! You probably noticed me from across the room and you thought, "Hey, isn't that?" No, we we didn't.
(BOTH LAUGH) I did.
You did? Yeah.
I thought, "Isn't that the Warriors ruckman?" And I wondered if maybe you tasted like gingerbread.
Gingerbread? I usually don't eat processed carbs, so Boy, I am going to cut you out, slap you on a tray and stick you in my oven.
DOC: Look at this guy over here.
He's like it's like he's at a funeral.
I'll be back.
Two minutes, all right? I just gotta Hey! You're supposed to be relaxing, huh? You don't look very relaxed.
Kinda hard to chill in a place like this.
Yeah.
Uh, how about we get out of here? Doc, Zane-o! Shots.
Shots.
- Get in here.
- WOMAN: Thank you.
Ladies, welcome to the luxurious Warriors Clubhouse.
Try not to feel overawed.
(OVERLAPPING DRUNKEN CHATTER) Smile for the camera, guys.
Whoo, whoo! Why would anyone want to be a security guard? Trust me, the guards LOVE their jobs.
Come on.
Get in.
(LAUGHS) Anyway, he said, "Big W, you keep playing the way you're playing, "you're definitely getting BOG.
" That's Best On Ground.
You should know that.
Anyway, long story short, win the tap naturally and then pop! - Let's go, gingernuts.
- What do you think it was? - ACL? - Third ACL! - Farewell, all.
- See ya.
Would anyone like a tour? - WOMAN: Ooh! Me! Thank you.
- Come on.
- WOMAN: Show us around.
- I shall! Follow me, children! Hey, did you want to go for a tour? I want your love Ah-hum Right now, I said Oh, yeah! That's the way.
Yeah.
Oh! Ah-hum My, my, my, my Ah-hum My, my, my, my Ah-hum Ah-hum Ah-hum Ah, no.
No, thanks.
You take it.
Don't start pretending like you're a good boy now.
Do you have something to wash this down with? "Welcome to the 300 club.
" What is that, like the mile-high club? Yeah, yeah.
For footy players.
- Uh, 300 games.
- So this is special.
Ooh, yeah.
You've been such a dirty girl Ah-hum You've been such a good boy Ah-hum You've been such a dirty girl This here's the sports science room.
- This is cool.
- I know, right? - AVA: Yep! - Heads up.
Yep.
Okay.
Help me with my spin.
Come on.
Okay.
Just once.
- Hold the ball like this.
- Yeah? Can you feel my leg? Yeah.
Now follow through and drop kick.
Too good, eh? So teach me how to say something in your language.
Like what? Like how do I say 'foot'? (SPEAKS IN HIS LANGUAGE) (REPEATS WORD) Mm-hm.
Yeah.
(REPEATS WORD) And how do I say 'head'? (SPEAKS IN HIS LANGUAGE) (REPEATS WORD) Yeah.
(REPEATS WORD) (REPEATS WORD, LAUGHS) This one here is (SPEAKS IN HIS LANGUAGE) (REPEATS WORD) Mmm.
Your heart.
My, my, my, my Ah-hum My, my, my, my Ah-hum I mean, I just can't work it out.
I've gone over and over the footage and everything I'm doing is the same.
- Maybe that's your problem.
- Nothing's changed! I do the same routine that I've always done.
I just can't figure it out.
What am I doing wrong? Can we stop talking about this? Look, I'll show you.
What are you doing? You've been crapping on for the last 40 minutes.
Ah-hum.
You've been such a dirty girl Ah-hum You've been such a good boy Ah-hum I want your love Ah-hum I love this job.
Right by my side Ah-hum.
(KETTLE WHISTLES) Ugh.
What time is it? 7:15.
And your father, for all of his faults, is here every day at 7:30, and if he sees you here Oh, I couldn't give a shit.
Could I just have one day where I don't have to deal with you and your father's crap? Fine.
What's with the kettle? That is for the bottle.
- Can you pass it here? - Ooh, wait, wait, wait.
Before you do that Have you ever tried a 30-year-old? I'm sorry? Soft.
Mellowed with age.
No, I'm good.
You're not curious? You look like a single malt woman.
It's good.
Now, will you get out of here? Please? Thank you.
Wait.
These are not your size.
Thanks, Deb.
Ah! Loud! Stupid fuckin' door.
- Morning, princess.
- Ugh.
Yeah, I'm with you, mate.
Oh, my God.
Here we go, boys.
Here we go.
- Boys! Boys, boys, boys.
- What? You're welcome.
(COUGHS) Oh! Oh, what is that? It smells like dog vomit.
It's gulliwan.
It's bush medicine.
It's it's good for hangovers, all right? Drink it! Dog vomit? Mate, this would put a horn on a bloody jellyfish.
Are you serious? Not that you needed it last night, hey? - Or you.
- See ya, boys.
Oh! See ya.
Bye, baby.
Okay, so it was a good night.
Good night? It sounded better than a bloody good night.
Moun theory, I'm telling you.
You should have seen him in there.
It was a fucking wave pool.
You were watching? Just for a second.
Needed some pointers.
Well, you know, rooting and kicking the footy are two very different things.
Not really.
Like when you see, like, the sticks up in the air, yeah? And then, like, you hit the balls in the sweet spot? You know what I'm talking about? When you score, like, you hear your name screamed over and over and like, "Zane! Zane! Zane!" Please shut your hole.
- (LAUGHS) - Anyway, they're pretty similar.
Well, brother, I don't feel any different.
Prove you wrong.
Trust me, mate.
Moun theory.
Take this.
- DOC: Come on, bro.
In the skip! - Come on, brother.
- You got it.
You got it.
- It's easy! Oh! Look, just relax! Oi! Think about the spa bath last night, yeah? Yeah? - You know what I'm talking about.
- Come on, matey.
MAKI: Come on, brother.
Boys, I don't know.
Last one.
I promise you.
Trust me, you've got it.
You've got this one.
- MAKI: Yes! Number one! - ZANE: Hey.
Thanks for that, Mak.
'Cause that really helped.
- Really? Did you have to? - Not cool, mate.
Here.
- DOC: Zaney! - SCOTTIE: Zane.
Hey! Zane! (KNOCK AT DOOR) AVA: I'm not going anywhere.
Just go away! - Just open the door, Zane! - Ava! Zane, fix it or everything will be worthless.
Look where you are.
How many guys did you beat just to get here? Yeah, well, that doesn't seem to make a difference to some, does it? What are you talking about? Your dancing partner last night? Maki? Are you serious? Look, I busted my arse off to get into this team.
And now I can't kick straight to save my life.
I would rather quit than get cut.
(THUNDER RUMBLES) Okay? Knew you'd show.
How? I've been watching you ever since the first time you kicked the footy and you're no quitter.
Ah, nice one.
So, when's the try-outs? Next week.
All right.
Behind.
Could have won a grand final with that.
Or lost one.
You gonna try again? Well I did show, didn't I? Goal, brother! Deadly! Go again.
Oh! And again! I've got that kicking footage you were after.
Hey, uh, Zane, I want you to look at this too, man.
Come here.
Come here.
This is really helpful.
Approach, drop, follow through.
- It's all perfect.
- SPINNER: It's all good.
What happened? - Huh? - What's this? Oi, boys.
Come check this out.
What the? Okay, okay.
I want to know.
Tell me, who is that? Huh? Who is it? Whoever it is, he's not kicking a football.
(LAUGHTER) He's certainly kicking a few goals, but I just can't figure out how they're doing it in those suits.
Nice move.
Nice move.
(LAUGHTER) - Turn around! - Turn around! - Show us your - Turn around! - Ooh-hoo-hoo! - Just take the photo.
- That's it.
- Oh! Money shot.
Yes, go, go, go, go, go, go! (LAUGHTER) Oi, boys, wait up! Stop! Stop! Go, go, go, go! (TYRES SCREECH, CRASH!) MAN: Last year's wooden spooners, and now this shit?! Jesus, in my day we did a hell of a lot worse.
The name is coming off the shirt.
Fuck off, you spineless prick! ALL: Gonna get the moona Gonna get the moona Ooh, gonna get the moon now Get the moon now, get the moon now You just lost us 2 million dollars.
Sort yourself out.
We need a new sponsor by Monday.
And I think I know someone who can help us.
(GASPS)