The Wild Wild West (1965) s01e04 Episode Script
The Night of Sudden Death
Working late tonight, huh, boys? Making money, making money.
Getting awful stuffy in here, boys.
A little fresh air's not going to hurt a thing.
Not a thing.
Hurry it up.
The new shift is already in the front office.
You only got three minutes.
Come on, come on, let's go! An overload of gas.
It just isn't possible, Mr.
West.
It just isn't possible.
Well, what do you think happened? Oh, extra pressure hit this pipe.
Somehow, somebody, something pumped it in.
Say, uh, you Secret Service men get on a case pretty fast.
Is there any money missing? Not a penny.
A little scorched around the edges maybe, but all six million still here.
Well, the third man died this morning.
Burns and concussion.
What about the guard? Foxx.
Still on the critical list.
What about his chances? To quote the doctor, don't make any bets.
Mr.
West.
Yes, Mr.
Fall.
No more guessing about it now.
These plates are a different alloy than our plates.
They have a pitted surface.
Ours are smooth and clear.
These are counterfeit.
Want to see them? No, I'll take your word for it.
You know, that is really smart.
Putting counterfeit plates into our own presses, taking out the real ones, and then blowing up the mint to make it look like an accident.
I guess they figured we'd never know the difference.
Do you realize, Jim, that they can print millions of dollars of this? Hundreds of millions of dollars and none of it counterfeit.
We couldn't touch them.
This could almost destroy the entire United States economy.
Morning, sir.
Good morning.
Enjoy the parade? Yes, what I saw.
Your room is number one.
Right at the top of the stairs.
I'm sorry I don't have anyone to help you with your bag.
They're all outside watching the parade.
Oh, that's all right, I can manage.
Thank you.
Someone else just dropped in on me- from the ceiling- and went out that window.
Who was it? There's no time to lose.
Go to the hospital and talk to the guard.
What do you know about the guard? He has something to tell you.
Something to tell me? What? Do you know? Just hurry, please.
There's no time.
You must go to him now.
What is he to you? My father.
I've got to get back before they miss me.
Who are "they"? My father will tell you.
All right.
We'll go together.
Please let me go.
If you keep me here, you'll be putting me in danger.
What's your name? Corinne.
If you please, Mr.
West.
Uh, you can have just a few minutes.
Mr.
Foxx is in critical condition.
Well, uh that's peculiar.
Uh, the doors don't have locks.
Excuse me, Doctor.
He's dying.
He's been crushed.
You'd better notify his daughter right away.
Daughter? He didn't mention having a daughter.
A young woman.
Didn't she come to visit him? Nobody visited him.
Who's Corinne? If you find Corinne you'll find death.
Well, James What's the matter? You don't look your happy self.
I'm not.
I just came from the doctor's.
No broken ribs, but they sure are sore.
Oh, now, if that rib crusher had been a female, you wouldn't have minded the least little bit, now, would you? How about the money? Any of it show? Aah, not a single bill- anywhere.
What are they waiting for? Why haven't they moved it? Well, for one thing, they know you're around.
That's for sure.
First the human fly, then, uh, Foxx and Corinne.
The lovely, lethal Corinne.
Find her and you'll find death.
Hmm Just don't press your luck, huh? Oh I, uh, took the liberty of Thank you.
Of, uh ordering a small libation, James, just as a painkiller, huh? To money.
It smells like almonds.
Prussic acid.
Well, she didn't come out here.
We missed you at the parade, Corinne.
Where did you go? I had some business to see to.
Please, let me down.
Business? But surely we have no secrets from each other.
I went to see my father.
Oh, yes.
Poor man.
I think I'll try my luck on number 10.
Mr.
Trevor thinks he'll try his luck on number ten.
Number seven this time.
And wish me luck.
Warren.
I've stalked bigger game.
This one has sharp teeth, Warren.
I'll take the bite out of him.
He looks wild, untamed.
All the more, a better specimen for my land in Africa.
Still a dream? Not for long.
It will soon be a reality.
I'll buy that land and have my Africa.
I'll build it into an empire.
Nothing, and no one, will stop me.
I'll possess it if I have to stuff Mr.
West and hang him up as a trophy.
Excuse us, sir.
Sometimes the performers get carried away.
Did they hurt you? Pain's all mine.
I wouldn't say you were exactly Cupid, Mr.
Trevor.
You know me, Mr West.
James West.
I've seen your picture.
Everyone knows the great game hunter.
Take her down, Janet.
Miss Coburn is my animal trainer.
And your target? My bareback rider.
Excellent performer.
Thank you, Corinne.
You may go.
Girl of many talents.
You're quite a trainer, Mr.
Trevor.
I've devoted my life to animals.
Most of those you see here, I've captured.
Many a species never seen before outside of their native habitat.
Two-legged or four-legged? Are they better off in cages? The circus is only their temporary home.
Mr.
West, why are you here? I'm with the government.
We expect a large amount of counterfeit money to flood the city.
Public activities, this circus, would be natural places to pass off money.
The circus doesn't give its first public performance for another week.
We'll be glad to cooperate and take every precaution.
Good.
If you don't mind, I'd like to look around your place a little bit more- where the concessions are, the ticket booths- anyplace where money would be exchanged.
so I can stake out my men.
Delighted.
Miss Coburn will give you a tour of the area.
Janet.
Follow me.
Anytime.
Sirang.
Come on, boy.
Come on.
Attaboy.
He, uh He wouldn't bite the hand that feeds him, would he? Most mammals rarely fight over a kill.
They only kill what they need to eat.
Meat eaters do very little chewing, actually.
Some of their molars are degenerated and others are adapted for crunching bones.
Interesting.
Lions are really very gentle, given proper love and care.
But like people, don't turn your back on them.
Sirang.
The Loxodonta africana the last of the Proboscideans.
A once numerous group whose history spans I, uh, find you most informative, Miss Coburn.
Looking for something, Mr.
West? As a matter of fact, yes.
I was checking the entrance and exits, anyplace where people might congregate.
You know, all this arouses my curiosity in the most interesting species on the grounds.
And what might that be? Not what- who.
Warren Trevor.
A fascinating man.
The animals are all entirely responsive to Mr.
Trevor and myself.
They can be gentle or they can revert to their basic nature, at command.
I think I've made the general situation clear.
Mr.
Trevor can fill you in on anything else.
I'd like to know more about Janet Coburn- intelligent, beautiful We should be getting back.
What's, um What's out there? A reproduction of the African veldt area.
We sometimes turn our tigers and lions loose out there for exercise.
It's a restricted area, Mr.
West.
Thank you for the warning.
Anytime.
Then you don't mind if I continue to look around anyplace where I think I might find the money.
Enjoy the circus, Mr.
West.
Mr.
West.
Corinne wants to see you.
Where? No, no- don't look around.
Be casual.
Follow me.
She's waiting for you on the other side of the rock.
Mr.
West.
Whatever have you been doing? I've been trying to make friends with the animals.
How dreadful.
Now, you might have been drowned or crushed.
I think that little fellow had other things in mind.
You shouldn't go wandering around by yourself, Mr.
West, in a restricted area.
What's that sound I keep hearing? Oh, there are so many mating calls in the jungle.
One cannot keep up with all of them.
That mating call sounds a little rusty.
Mr.
Trevor asked me to come and look for you.
He'd like you to be his guest.
He's entertaining the tribal chief of the Cobanu Province in Central Africa.
Don't you think I might be a wet blanket? Not if I dry you off first.
You might well wind up joining our circus, Mr.
West.
Afraid not.
I get dizzy more than three feet off the ground.
You could, uh, join our tumblers.
They work pretty close to the ground.
Oh, no, thanks.
I've met your tumblers.
All I need now is a tightrope or am I walking one already? You don't think very positively, Mr.
West, do you? I might about you.
That's exactly what I was hoping.
So serene in here.
Almost like the jungle.
I know about the birds and the bees.
It's, uh it's your tiger I'm not sure of.
He's as docile as a kitten.
Not like his trainer.
Yes Like his trainer.
What, uh, kind of food do they serve at African feasts? African food.
You know, the funny thing I hear a certain sound, like metallic grinding.
Not from here, you don't.
It's, uh, still lingering.
I told you- it was only a mating call.
Like a printing press "mating" money.
Jan? Where are the plates? Somehow I don't seem to hear you, Mr.
West.
You help me get the plates, and I'll help you get some free years.
Prison's terrible for the complexion.
I thought you were only interested in wooing me.
You're getting warm.
Maziwah nyama chibuku.
What's that? African dishes- delicious- you've never tasted anything like them.
And I'm very hungry.
We mustn't keep the chieftain waiting.
Keep him company, Sirang while I freshen up.
Nice kitty.
Ah, Mr.
West.
Welcome.
You know Corinne, of course.
And may I present Chief Vonoma and his entourage from Kubana.
Formerly a French protectorate in Africa.
Do help yourself, while the chief and I continue our business discussion.
Thank you.
But to purchase an animal domain as vast as you envisage from my kingdom will take a very vast sum of money, Mr.
Trevor.
We would not sell to the French when they were through.
What would you do with a piece of Africa, Mr.
Trevor? Every man has his dream.
Mine is to own and protect and cherish nature and her creations from man.
Man is the most predatory beast on the face of the globe.
He kills wantonly- animals kill merely to survive.
There's already sound testimony of man's senseless carnage of other living creatures.
Man is the only animal capable of changing his environment, the only species to render other species extinct.
Not to mention his own.
The Great Hawk has been ruthlessly hunted for over 300 years.
The last known specimen was killed in 1844.
Ah, dinner is about to be served.
Corinne, show Mr.
West to his place.
Some wine, sir? Thank you.
He's toying with us.
We'll never get out of this alive.
Some of the most delicious torture I've ever encountered.
But I can't figure out how you come into this.
Want the truth? Money- lots of money.
I wanted to live in my own world, not his animal world, so I introduced my father to him, and he used him to get the plates- double-crossed him.
Then why did you come back here after leaving me at the hotel? I thought I could still help him.
I didn't know he was dead until I got here.
Now I want to avenge him.
But I can't even help myself.
Where are the plates? The printing press is in a tent in the veldt area.
How do I get in there? You are in- and you can't get out.
He has spies and guards everywhere.
Would you care for some python-skin jellied hors d'oeuvres? Keep your eye on me.
You'll know when to make a break for it.
How about you, my dear? Would you care to join us? Shall we dine? Thank you.
Getting along famously, I see.
Like a couple of old friends.
Where are the dancing girls? I have a couple of dancing bears.
They might enjoy waltzing with you.
Not me, I have two left feet.
I'm impressed with your intention, Mr.
Trevor.
But how would your government feel about the purchase? A large sum of money would leave its borders.
Mr.
West is a spokesman for my government.
He understands that I can produce the money.
We understand you're going to try.
You see, Chief Vonoma, my government doesn't stop a private citizen from doing business with the head of an outside state.
They wouldn't prevent me from buying a piece of Africa.
Would they, Mr.
West? No, not as long as it isn't Treasury money.
Hmm.
$10 million? Excellent wine, Mr.
Trevor.
$20 million? Forty? Fifty.
I will consider the matter.
But until such time as the entire sum is placed in a Swiss bank, I would be concerned by your country's attitude.
Aren't you going after them? So there are three.
Mr.
West, you try my patience.
Worse you scared off the chief.
That's our good deed for the day.
And your last.
Return the plates and save your skin.
You can't hope to pull this off.
I can't, hmm? And as for skins, I have a skin game in mind for you.
These fresh animal skins dry and shrink at a very rapid rate under the hot sun.
You'll literally be squeezed to death, but not before your eyeballs pop.
But in a sense, your mission is successful, Mr.
West.
You wanted to find the plates, listen carefully.
There they are in the tent.
Being used for the purpose your government intended.
Come, Janet, I need you to help me salvage my deal with the chief.
No.
I want to stay.
Boy, I sure clowned things up just great.
I'm sorry, Mr.
West.
Just call me Jim.
Save your energy.
You're only working against yourself.
Why don't they just shoot us and get it over with? And spoil their fun? You can't say we haven't gone native.
We'd better think of something, Jim.
These skins are drying out fast.
If these skins are dry enough, maybe I can get them to split.
Oh.
Jim! Jim! Jim! They're splitting! Thanks for my life, Mr.
West, but I don't think I'll keep it very long.
First things first.
We've got to get those plates.
The second thing- keep down.
Get me some more paper.
I got to get these plates out of here.
Take off.
Well, I can't leave you here.
Take off, will you? I'll be right behind you.
I got to destroy that money.
Go on! Smoke, Mr.
Trevor! Mr.
Trevor! Mr.
Trevor! Smoke! Smoke! Smoke! There must be another way out.
He set fire to the tent.
He's out there somewhere.
He's got the plates.
I must say I find Mr.
West a worthy adversary.
He has an animal cunning I find challenging.
I want the satisfaction of his blood.
The hunt is mine.
Warren, no! No! Sirang go! It would seem that Mr.
West has tamed the beast in you, Janet.
Poor foolish Janet.
Throw her in the cage.
And you I'll have your head on a pole.
Throw him in the cage, too.
They are running, Mr.
Trevor.
Wait here.
We have to keep moving.
I'll keep moving if I have to crawl.
He's worse than any of his animals.
He ought to be caged.
Mr.
Trevor! Good work.
Time is running out for our friends.
Jim, look out! You first and then Mr.
West.
I'd love to have you teach me something about soothing the savage beast.
You know, there are some nights I actually roar r-r-roar! Neither you nor your friend have been very nice to me.
Well, you weren't particularly Hey! Jim! The key on the pole.
Relax, Artemus, I'll get you out.
Get me out? Who said anything about wanting to get out? Somehow I didn't think I'd see you again.
I had to come back for my clothes.
They're in my tent, and they ought to be dry by now.
The last time I saw you, you weren't very nice to me- tried to tie me up in those animal skins.
You wouldn't want a woman to be consistent, would you? Maziwah nyama.
What's that? It's that, uh, African feast we never got to finish.
Say, everybody else is gone.
Why don't the four of us have dinner? Delighted.
You said it was delicious.
Very delicious.
Um I'll change clothes.
Artemus Hmm.
Entertain the girls while I'm gone, will you? I have to change my clothes.
You locked you locked the door, Jim.
Jim, you've locked me in! That's right, Artemus.
If I may, please.
Thank you.
Now, then I ever tell you about the time I was locked in a hotel in New Orleans with nothing but a small field pack and a, uh, bowie knife? There we are.
Thank you.
Why didn't you think of this two hours ago? I did.
Shall we dine, ladies?
Getting awful stuffy in here, boys.
A little fresh air's not going to hurt a thing.
Not a thing.
Hurry it up.
The new shift is already in the front office.
You only got three minutes.
Come on, come on, let's go! An overload of gas.
It just isn't possible, Mr.
West.
It just isn't possible.
Well, what do you think happened? Oh, extra pressure hit this pipe.
Somehow, somebody, something pumped it in.
Say, uh, you Secret Service men get on a case pretty fast.
Is there any money missing? Not a penny.
A little scorched around the edges maybe, but all six million still here.
Well, the third man died this morning.
Burns and concussion.
What about the guard? Foxx.
Still on the critical list.
What about his chances? To quote the doctor, don't make any bets.
Mr.
West.
Yes, Mr.
Fall.
No more guessing about it now.
These plates are a different alloy than our plates.
They have a pitted surface.
Ours are smooth and clear.
These are counterfeit.
Want to see them? No, I'll take your word for it.
You know, that is really smart.
Putting counterfeit plates into our own presses, taking out the real ones, and then blowing up the mint to make it look like an accident.
I guess they figured we'd never know the difference.
Do you realize, Jim, that they can print millions of dollars of this? Hundreds of millions of dollars and none of it counterfeit.
We couldn't touch them.
This could almost destroy the entire United States economy.
Morning, sir.
Good morning.
Enjoy the parade? Yes, what I saw.
Your room is number one.
Right at the top of the stairs.
I'm sorry I don't have anyone to help you with your bag.
They're all outside watching the parade.
Oh, that's all right, I can manage.
Thank you.
Someone else just dropped in on me- from the ceiling- and went out that window.
Who was it? There's no time to lose.
Go to the hospital and talk to the guard.
What do you know about the guard? He has something to tell you.
Something to tell me? What? Do you know? Just hurry, please.
There's no time.
You must go to him now.
What is he to you? My father.
I've got to get back before they miss me.
Who are "they"? My father will tell you.
All right.
We'll go together.
Please let me go.
If you keep me here, you'll be putting me in danger.
What's your name? Corinne.
If you please, Mr.
West.
Uh, you can have just a few minutes.
Mr.
Foxx is in critical condition.
Well, uh that's peculiar.
Uh, the doors don't have locks.
Excuse me, Doctor.
He's dying.
He's been crushed.
You'd better notify his daughter right away.
Daughter? He didn't mention having a daughter.
A young woman.
Didn't she come to visit him? Nobody visited him.
Who's Corinne? If you find Corinne you'll find death.
Well, James What's the matter? You don't look your happy self.
I'm not.
I just came from the doctor's.
No broken ribs, but they sure are sore.
Oh, now, if that rib crusher had been a female, you wouldn't have minded the least little bit, now, would you? How about the money? Any of it show? Aah, not a single bill- anywhere.
What are they waiting for? Why haven't they moved it? Well, for one thing, they know you're around.
That's for sure.
First the human fly, then, uh, Foxx and Corinne.
The lovely, lethal Corinne.
Find her and you'll find death.
Hmm Just don't press your luck, huh? Oh I, uh, took the liberty of Thank you.
Of, uh ordering a small libation, James, just as a painkiller, huh? To money.
It smells like almonds.
Prussic acid.
Well, she didn't come out here.
We missed you at the parade, Corinne.
Where did you go? I had some business to see to.
Please, let me down.
Business? But surely we have no secrets from each other.
I went to see my father.
Oh, yes.
Poor man.
I think I'll try my luck on number 10.
Mr.
Trevor thinks he'll try his luck on number ten.
Number seven this time.
And wish me luck.
Warren.
I've stalked bigger game.
This one has sharp teeth, Warren.
I'll take the bite out of him.
He looks wild, untamed.
All the more, a better specimen for my land in Africa.
Still a dream? Not for long.
It will soon be a reality.
I'll buy that land and have my Africa.
I'll build it into an empire.
Nothing, and no one, will stop me.
I'll possess it if I have to stuff Mr.
West and hang him up as a trophy.
Excuse us, sir.
Sometimes the performers get carried away.
Did they hurt you? Pain's all mine.
I wouldn't say you were exactly Cupid, Mr.
Trevor.
You know me, Mr West.
James West.
I've seen your picture.
Everyone knows the great game hunter.
Take her down, Janet.
Miss Coburn is my animal trainer.
And your target? My bareback rider.
Excellent performer.
Thank you, Corinne.
You may go.
Girl of many talents.
You're quite a trainer, Mr.
Trevor.
I've devoted my life to animals.
Most of those you see here, I've captured.
Many a species never seen before outside of their native habitat.
Two-legged or four-legged? Are they better off in cages? The circus is only their temporary home.
Mr.
West, why are you here? I'm with the government.
We expect a large amount of counterfeit money to flood the city.
Public activities, this circus, would be natural places to pass off money.
The circus doesn't give its first public performance for another week.
We'll be glad to cooperate and take every precaution.
Good.
If you don't mind, I'd like to look around your place a little bit more- where the concessions are, the ticket booths- anyplace where money would be exchanged.
so I can stake out my men.
Delighted.
Miss Coburn will give you a tour of the area.
Janet.
Follow me.
Anytime.
Sirang.
Come on, boy.
Come on.
Attaboy.
He, uh He wouldn't bite the hand that feeds him, would he? Most mammals rarely fight over a kill.
They only kill what they need to eat.
Meat eaters do very little chewing, actually.
Some of their molars are degenerated and others are adapted for crunching bones.
Interesting.
Lions are really very gentle, given proper love and care.
But like people, don't turn your back on them.
Sirang.
The Loxodonta africana the last of the Proboscideans.
A once numerous group whose history spans I, uh, find you most informative, Miss Coburn.
Looking for something, Mr.
West? As a matter of fact, yes.
I was checking the entrance and exits, anyplace where people might congregate.
You know, all this arouses my curiosity in the most interesting species on the grounds.
And what might that be? Not what- who.
Warren Trevor.
A fascinating man.
The animals are all entirely responsive to Mr.
Trevor and myself.
They can be gentle or they can revert to their basic nature, at command.
I think I've made the general situation clear.
Mr.
Trevor can fill you in on anything else.
I'd like to know more about Janet Coburn- intelligent, beautiful We should be getting back.
What's, um What's out there? A reproduction of the African veldt area.
We sometimes turn our tigers and lions loose out there for exercise.
It's a restricted area, Mr.
West.
Thank you for the warning.
Anytime.
Then you don't mind if I continue to look around anyplace where I think I might find the money.
Enjoy the circus, Mr.
West.
Mr.
West.
Corinne wants to see you.
Where? No, no- don't look around.
Be casual.
Follow me.
She's waiting for you on the other side of the rock.
Mr.
West.
Whatever have you been doing? I've been trying to make friends with the animals.
How dreadful.
Now, you might have been drowned or crushed.
I think that little fellow had other things in mind.
You shouldn't go wandering around by yourself, Mr.
West, in a restricted area.
What's that sound I keep hearing? Oh, there are so many mating calls in the jungle.
One cannot keep up with all of them.
That mating call sounds a little rusty.
Mr.
Trevor asked me to come and look for you.
He'd like you to be his guest.
He's entertaining the tribal chief of the Cobanu Province in Central Africa.
Don't you think I might be a wet blanket? Not if I dry you off first.
You might well wind up joining our circus, Mr.
West.
Afraid not.
I get dizzy more than three feet off the ground.
You could, uh, join our tumblers.
They work pretty close to the ground.
Oh, no, thanks.
I've met your tumblers.
All I need now is a tightrope or am I walking one already? You don't think very positively, Mr.
West, do you? I might about you.
That's exactly what I was hoping.
So serene in here.
Almost like the jungle.
I know about the birds and the bees.
It's, uh it's your tiger I'm not sure of.
He's as docile as a kitten.
Not like his trainer.
Yes Like his trainer.
What, uh, kind of food do they serve at African feasts? African food.
You know, the funny thing I hear a certain sound, like metallic grinding.
Not from here, you don't.
It's, uh, still lingering.
I told you- it was only a mating call.
Like a printing press "mating" money.
Jan? Where are the plates? Somehow I don't seem to hear you, Mr.
West.
You help me get the plates, and I'll help you get some free years.
Prison's terrible for the complexion.
I thought you were only interested in wooing me.
You're getting warm.
Maziwah nyama chibuku.
What's that? African dishes- delicious- you've never tasted anything like them.
And I'm very hungry.
We mustn't keep the chieftain waiting.
Keep him company, Sirang while I freshen up.
Nice kitty.
Ah, Mr.
West.
Welcome.
You know Corinne, of course.
And may I present Chief Vonoma and his entourage from Kubana.
Formerly a French protectorate in Africa.
Do help yourself, while the chief and I continue our business discussion.
Thank you.
But to purchase an animal domain as vast as you envisage from my kingdom will take a very vast sum of money, Mr.
Trevor.
We would not sell to the French when they were through.
What would you do with a piece of Africa, Mr.
Trevor? Every man has his dream.
Mine is to own and protect and cherish nature and her creations from man.
Man is the most predatory beast on the face of the globe.
He kills wantonly- animals kill merely to survive.
There's already sound testimony of man's senseless carnage of other living creatures.
Man is the only animal capable of changing his environment, the only species to render other species extinct.
Not to mention his own.
The Great Hawk has been ruthlessly hunted for over 300 years.
The last known specimen was killed in 1844.
Ah, dinner is about to be served.
Corinne, show Mr.
West to his place.
Some wine, sir? Thank you.
He's toying with us.
We'll never get out of this alive.
Some of the most delicious torture I've ever encountered.
But I can't figure out how you come into this.
Want the truth? Money- lots of money.
I wanted to live in my own world, not his animal world, so I introduced my father to him, and he used him to get the plates- double-crossed him.
Then why did you come back here after leaving me at the hotel? I thought I could still help him.
I didn't know he was dead until I got here.
Now I want to avenge him.
But I can't even help myself.
Where are the plates? The printing press is in a tent in the veldt area.
How do I get in there? You are in- and you can't get out.
He has spies and guards everywhere.
Would you care for some python-skin jellied hors d'oeuvres? Keep your eye on me.
You'll know when to make a break for it.
How about you, my dear? Would you care to join us? Shall we dine? Thank you.
Getting along famously, I see.
Like a couple of old friends.
Where are the dancing girls? I have a couple of dancing bears.
They might enjoy waltzing with you.
Not me, I have two left feet.
I'm impressed with your intention, Mr.
Trevor.
But how would your government feel about the purchase? A large sum of money would leave its borders.
Mr.
West is a spokesman for my government.
He understands that I can produce the money.
We understand you're going to try.
You see, Chief Vonoma, my government doesn't stop a private citizen from doing business with the head of an outside state.
They wouldn't prevent me from buying a piece of Africa.
Would they, Mr.
West? No, not as long as it isn't Treasury money.
Hmm.
$10 million? Excellent wine, Mr.
Trevor.
$20 million? Forty? Fifty.
I will consider the matter.
But until such time as the entire sum is placed in a Swiss bank, I would be concerned by your country's attitude.
Aren't you going after them? So there are three.
Mr.
West, you try my patience.
Worse you scared off the chief.
That's our good deed for the day.
And your last.
Return the plates and save your skin.
You can't hope to pull this off.
I can't, hmm? And as for skins, I have a skin game in mind for you.
These fresh animal skins dry and shrink at a very rapid rate under the hot sun.
You'll literally be squeezed to death, but not before your eyeballs pop.
But in a sense, your mission is successful, Mr.
West.
You wanted to find the plates, listen carefully.
There they are in the tent.
Being used for the purpose your government intended.
Come, Janet, I need you to help me salvage my deal with the chief.
No.
I want to stay.
Boy, I sure clowned things up just great.
I'm sorry, Mr.
West.
Just call me Jim.
Save your energy.
You're only working against yourself.
Why don't they just shoot us and get it over with? And spoil their fun? You can't say we haven't gone native.
We'd better think of something, Jim.
These skins are drying out fast.
If these skins are dry enough, maybe I can get them to split.
Oh.
Jim! Jim! Jim! They're splitting! Thanks for my life, Mr.
West, but I don't think I'll keep it very long.
First things first.
We've got to get those plates.
The second thing- keep down.
Get me some more paper.
I got to get these plates out of here.
Take off.
Well, I can't leave you here.
Take off, will you? I'll be right behind you.
I got to destroy that money.
Go on! Smoke, Mr.
Trevor! Mr.
Trevor! Mr.
Trevor! Smoke! Smoke! Smoke! There must be another way out.
He set fire to the tent.
He's out there somewhere.
He's got the plates.
I must say I find Mr.
West a worthy adversary.
He has an animal cunning I find challenging.
I want the satisfaction of his blood.
The hunt is mine.
Warren, no! No! Sirang go! It would seem that Mr.
West has tamed the beast in you, Janet.
Poor foolish Janet.
Throw her in the cage.
And you I'll have your head on a pole.
Throw him in the cage, too.
They are running, Mr.
Trevor.
Wait here.
We have to keep moving.
I'll keep moving if I have to crawl.
He's worse than any of his animals.
He ought to be caged.
Mr.
Trevor! Good work.
Time is running out for our friends.
Jim, look out! You first and then Mr.
West.
I'd love to have you teach me something about soothing the savage beast.
You know, there are some nights I actually roar r-r-roar! Neither you nor your friend have been very nice to me.
Well, you weren't particularly Hey! Jim! The key on the pole.
Relax, Artemus, I'll get you out.
Get me out? Who said anything about wanting to get out? Somehow I didn't think I'd see you again.
I had to come back for my clothes.
They're in my tent, and they ought to be dry by now.
The last time I saw you, you weren't very nice to me- tried to tie me up in those animal skins.
You wouldn't want a woman to be consistent, would you? Maziwah nyama.
What's that? It's that, uh, African feast we never got to finish.
Say, everybody else is gone.
Why don't the four of us have dinner? Delighted.
You said it was delicious.
Very delicious.
Um I'll change clothes.
Artemus Hmm.
Entertain the girls while I'm gone, will you? I have to change my clothes.
You locked you locked the door, Jim.
Jim, you've locked me in! That's right, Artemus.
If I may, please.
Thank you.
Now, then I ever tell you about the time I was locked in a hotel in New Orleans with nothing but a small field pack and a, uh, bowie knife? There we are.
Thank you.
Why didn't you think of this two hours ago? I did.
Shall we dine, ladies?