Threesome (2021) s01e04 Episode Script

1
Okay, go.
So, continue with the Nuremberg Code?
No, wait, do the hypothetical case
with the prosecutor and
animal rights, or whatever
That case with the dog "that must
be granted legal consideration".
Mm, wait.
The prosecutor objects
that the situation is not a fact
mentioned in chapter 29,
paragraph 3 of the penal code
and therefore cannot be considered.
What's your view
of the prosecutor's argument?
The prosecutor is wrong.
Chapter 29, paragraph 3
is not exhaustive
and this aspect
can be added to the penal.
However, there is no clear precedent
in the matter of international law
so the prosecutor's statement should
still be considered justifiable.
Mm
-How the hell do you retain all this?
-It felt like I missed heaps.
No
Okay, the Yugoslav Wars,
seen from an international
versus local perspective.
-What the hell, David
-What?
I did miss, I missed this whole part.
What, it's not
It doesn't have to be exact,
-you know the important parts.
-Yes.
You have to be super strict.
You can't just skip things
you don't think are relevant.
I have to get it
just as it's written.
Don't freak out,
you'll do great tomorrow.
Let's do it again.
One more time.
Go.
All students must remain
for the first hour of the exam
and have returned to their places
for the last 15 minutes.
If you need to go to the toilet,
please raise your hand,
and you'll be escorted
by an invigilator.
You may now turn your paper over.
There was only one bar.
But it was a mile long!
There was only one barman.
For each and every one!
They didn't dance on the fucking bar,
they danced on my fucking lap!
Get it down, you little warrior!
Get it down, you little warrior!
Down it, down it, down it
Fuck you.
That's my friend!
It's time for a rematch,
I have a really good feeling.
You drink beer like a proper lad!
Rum and Redbull, rum and Redbull,
rum and Redbull
I'm gonna run a half marathon
on Christmas eve.
And then, by the time it's next year
-I'm gonna run a marathon.
-Yeah.
This is my point,
are you a woman who's
gonna run a fucking marathon?
-Yes.
-Exactly.
This is what makes us.
Like, what makes or breaks us.
-No! Are you leaving?
-What're you doing?
-Yeah, I gotta leave.
-No
David, are you leaving?
We have a team meeting
in the morning. You should go too.
Yeah but I
feel a bit fragile,
I'll call in sick tomorrow.
-Yeah, you can call in sick too.
-No.
-No.
-Yes you can.
-No.
-Yes.
Hey, I'm gonna run a marathon
with Josephine.
-Fun.
-Yeah, super fun!
-I'll see you tomorrow.
-Mm.
Bye.
-Love you, Honey.
-Love you, Honey.
Ladies, hear me out.
-Hear me out.
-Okay, okay.
I've got a considerable amount
of experience with online dating.
And it all yielded results
but whatever.
-What I found out was
-What did you find out?
-Online dating is fucking toxic.
-Really?
-Yes, really!
-Shocking.
Cause when you go about it,
here's a bunch of people lined up,
right in front of you
and you've got unlimited likes,
right?
So you're just going to be like
next, next, next.
-That's the whole point of it.
-Okay, but it doesn't mean Ladies!
Come on, it doesn't mean
that it's healthy, does it?
Cause when you go about it,
here's a bunch of people,
human beings
that you're treating as things,
-as like fuck things.
-What's your point?
Well, it's superficial.
Happn's like dumpster diving
for love, I mean, come on.
-Really?
-Yes, really.
And trust me, okay.
I started out on a really high note
to find the love of my life,
because that's the type of guy
that I am.
Yeah, I'm not about fucking around.
But what happened, okay,
what happened was I started
to lower my standards, right?
In such a way that all of a sudden
I would go out with girls
that I didn't even fancy.
Or want to date,
cause they're not up to my standards.
-I'm sorry, what are your standards?
-Well, you, for example.
He actually just went there.
Wow, smooth.
-Thank you.
-That's so sweet.
I mean, you're beautiful,
you're smart,
you've got great career aspirations.
With a girl like you,
I'd like to get to know you,
really take my time,
take you to dinner.
I wouldn't even wanna fuck you.
Yeah, well, we tried that
and it was an epic fail, remember?
Yeah, okay,
but I was high as a fucking kite.
I mean, it happens to the best of us.
-You're not my type.
-Ouch!
-I'm not your type either.
-Yeah, well, look. Opposites attract.
Give that back.
-No, seriously, give it back.
-What the fuck, give her phone back.
Give it back!
Okay, if you show me one guy on
Happ'n that's your type.
-Fine.
-Alright.
You smell good, though.
John?
Oh, him!
I cannot tell you the things
I would do to that man.
-Oh my fucking
-John?
-Yeah.
-Oh wow.
Oh, hi babe.
Okay, Miriam, come on.
Ballet?
Ballet? He's not into pussy!
He was totally into pussy
on our date.
-You went on a date with him?
-This guy is
so hot, I can't even function.
You know what we should do?
Genuinely, like,
proper girls weekend away,
-take off out the way
-Yes! That's such a good idea.
-We should go to Paris.
-I was thinking Paris!
Hey.
Where are Miriam and Josephine?
The bar.
Okay.
-Are you heading off?
-Yeah, I'm so fucking tired.
-Hello.
-Bye.
-Bye.
-Wait, are you leaving?
-Yeah, I'm off, I'm so fucked now.
-We got you a drink.
You did? That's so sweet of you.
No, I can't have any more. Thank you.
We didn't order those, sorry,
they should be vodka shots.
STAYING OUT FOR A WHILE.
JUST SO YOU KNOW.
Hey.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-John.
-Yeah, Camille.
-It's nice to meet you in person.
-Yeah.
So, what are you having?
I'll have
-Whatever you're having.
-Um
So vodka soda?
-Sounds great.
-Yeah.
Can we have two vodka sodas, please?
I'm actually like a few drinks in
so you'll have to keep up with me.
Okay.
But I have to admit,
-I wasn't too sure you'd show up.
-Why?
You never know with weirdos.
Oh my god, I'm so sorry for the
I usually don't stalk people
at 3am in the morning.
So, you just wait until 7am, or?
Yeah, I usually let people
get out of bed
before I stalk them, yeah, so
Gosh, that's so embarrassing.
I'm so embarrassed, I'm sorry.
-Don't be.
-Yeah
Cheers.
Cheers.
What made you want to get into law
in the first place?
Initially,
I wanted to be a prosecutor.
Ooh, okay.
Right? But that's almost three
more years of studying after my BA
so, like, I'd rather
kill myself, honestly.
Like sometimes I just feel like
maybe I should just drop out.
Do something completely different
for a while and just
So, why don't you?
Because I can't, I
I'm No, I'm halfway through
and I just no.
-Okay, alright, alright.
-No.
I sound like an idiot.
-No.
-I do, yeah, I do.
You sound like someone
in the process of self-reflection.
Yeah
I've never actually said these things
out loud before.
Well, it's about time you did then.
How does it feel?
-Liberating, actually.
-Good.
It's like some kind of
therapy session, but in a bar
drunk.
Bar-therapy? You know,
that's a cracking concept actually.
-Bar-therapist.
-You know what,
maybe that's what I
should pursue instead.
One hundred per cent.
Sign me up right now.
You got that, you got that
right here, first and foremost.
And you're a dancer?
Yeah.
-So that's what you do for a living?
-That's what I do.
So, it's ballet, or?
Sometimes modern but
for the past few years I've been
working with the Royal Ballet.
So, mostly classical ballet.
-So it's a lot of tights and?
-Yeah, we wear tights.
-And those padded things for your
-Yup, those too.
Those must be so ego-boosting?
There's actually function for them,
it's not just for
Yeah, to show off
your huge, fake genitals.
Wow you went there, okay.
You have to agree,
they're quite distracting.
Well, look, listen,
it'd be way more distracting
if we didn't wear them.
Trust me.
Imagine everything just
slapping around, jiggling about
This is the first thing
that comes to
-It's disturbing.
-We don't want that, no.
So how's life at the Royal Ballet?
Right at the minute,
it's pretty chill.
I got this injury
about nine months ago.
This stress fracture in my ankle.
It wouldn't heal, so
I had surgery three months back
and now I'm in rehab.
Pulling rubber bands
and doing
an awful lot of self-reflecting.
So, you know what,
tell me some weird law.
Oh.. there's like a whole bunch
of like totally different
-bizarre laws.
-Alright, give it to me, I'm ready.
In North Carolina it's illegal
to have a sleeping donkey
in your bathtub after 7 pm.
What?
-Fucking Americans.
-Fucking Americans,
yeah, I'll drink to that.
And you know what?
According to British law,
it's actually forbidden
to be drunk in a public pub.
-For real?
-For real.
Shit
That's a new one.
So, um
Do you want to break the law
some more?
Yeah let's do it.
There's nothing, nothing that beats
the kebab from my hometown.
Like, when you can't fight me,
there's like no way.
Are you a regular,
do they know your order?
-They know exactly what I'm having.
-They see when you walk in?
No, he knows I'm here,
it's that time of night.
He knows I'm here.
Extra large with
What d'you think?
It's good, yeah.
But it's not as good as home.
Was it some kind of childhood dream,
to be a dancer?
Mum's dream actually.
She dragged me, kicking and screaming
to my first ballet class.
So, the only reason I agreed to go
was cause she promised
to take me to these football trials
the week after.
But when I got there
It was this instant feeling of
-fuck
-Yeah
-How old were you?
-this is for me, you know.
I was six.
I was this annoying little shit.
I had all this energy,
always all over the place.
Driving everyone crazy.
But then with the ballet
I was able to channel that energy
into these very precise
movement dynamics.
And I kind of became obsessed
with the technical demands of it all.
The feeling of being
in absolute control of my body.
There's a certain level of freedom
that comes with that.
And this
There's a certain level of freedom
that comes with this as well.
And rehab's not too bad.
I'm being serious.
Cause I've been on this
gruelling training schedule
six days a week since I was what?
Eleven?
To me
To do this
To be here with you
on a Thursday night,
to smoke as many fags as I like.
That's like
That's like a boundless freedom
What's that?
Snus.
-Snus?
-Mhm.
Oh, are they those
They're nicotine patches, right?
No, it's Swedish tobacco.
Do you want one?
Let's have a look at this.
Do you chew them?
No you put them under your lip,
like
Ooh,
that's some heavy shit right there.
No, they're like,
the really mild ones.
I do this, yeah?
Yeah.
Just like that.
-I look like an idiot.
-Yeah, you do.
You put it like, a little bit down,
to your right.
Yeah.
You look great.
-Do you feel it?
-No.
-I don't feel anything.
-Just wait.
Okay.
Looks cool though.
Looks cool? You look like
the girl from the Grinch.
Yeah, yeah.
Fucking hell, what's that?
It's burning!
-Are you serious?
-My god!
-No!
-That's fucking disgusting!
Oh my god!
-Stop it, it's not that bad.
-Mate, you trying to kill me?
No.
-Oh my god, you're so weak!
-That's rank!
-No.
-That burn!
That burn, and the taste!
You trying to kill me?
No.
It was that bad?
-Worse, worse.
-I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
That was
For some reason
I don't think you are sorry.
Take care, yeah?
Yeah.
See ya.
What time is it?