Total Drama Island (2007) s01e04 Episode Script

1
CHRIS: LAST TIME ON TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND.
THE SCREAMING GOPHERS KICKED BUTT IN THE AWAKE-A-THON,
WHEN DUNCAN TOOK A SNOOZE ON THE CAN,
AND THE KILLER BASS TOOK THEIR SECOND LOSS IN A ROWHARSH.
HEATHER ORCHESTRATED THE FIRST TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND ALLIANCE
BY CONVINCING LINDSAY AND BETH TO JOIN FORCES WITH HER,
THEN POCKETED EVA'S MP3 PLAYER AND SAT BACK
TO WATCH THE FIREWORKS.
NICELY PLAYED, HEATHER, NICELY PLAYED.
EVEN THOUGH EVA COULD'VE PRETTY MUCH KICKED
ANYONE'S BUTT HERE, IN THE END,
IT WAS HER TEMPER THAT GOT HER KICKED OFF.
SHE BECAME THE SECOND CAMPER TO ROCK THE BOAT OF LOSERS.
WHO WILL BREAK THE RULES OF THEIR NEW ALLIANCE?
WILL GWEN BE ABLE TO STAY AWAKE UNTIL THE END OF THE EPISODE?
AND WHO WILL TAKE THE NEXT HUMILIATING WALK
DOWN THE DOCK OF SHAME?
STAY TUNED FOR THE MOST DRAMATIC CAMPFIRE CEREMONY
YET ON TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND.
CHORUS: DEAR MOM AND DAD, I'M DOING FINE ♪
YOU GUYS ARE ON MY MIND ♪
YOU ASKED ME WHAT I WANTED TO BE ♪
AND NOW I THINK THE ANSWER IS PLAIN TO SEE ♪
I WANT TO BE FAMOUS ♪
I WANT TO LIVE CLOSE TO THE SUN ♪
WELL PACK YOUR BAGS 'CAUSE I'VE ALREADY WON ♪
EVERYTHING TO PROVE NOTHING IN MY WAY ♪
I'LL GET THERE ONE DAY ♪
CAUSE I WANT TO BE FAMOUS ♪
NANA NA'NA NAANA NANA NANA NA NANA NANA NA ♪
I WANT TO BE, I WANT TO BE, I WANT TO BE FAMOUS ♪
I WANT TO BE, I WANT TO BE, I WANT TO BE FAMOUS ♪
(WHISTLING I WANT TO BE FAMOUS)
(DUNCAN SNORING)
CHRIS: DUNCAN.
YOU LOOK LIKE CRAP, DUDE.
STUFF IT.
HAROLD SNORED ALL NIGHT.
WOW, FOUR NIGHTS WITH NO SLEEP.
HOW MUCH ARE YOU HURTING, DUDE?
WANT TO FIND OUT?
NO, NO, IT'S COOL.
-IT'S COOL. -(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
(ALL GASP)
(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING)
(ALL GIGGLE)
(ALL LAUGH)
OKAY, WHAT?
SOMEONE MESSED WITH YOUR FACE, DUDE.
HEY, SWEET STACHE.
CHRIS: HE--HEY, EVERYONE, IT'S GWEN!
YEAH!
WHY ARE WE CLAPPING?
I'M SO TIRED.
I CAN'T FEEL MY FACE.
WE ARE SO SUCKING RIGHT NOW.
OKAY, YES, EVA WAS A PSYCHO,
BUT AT LEAST SHE WAS AN ATHLETIC PSYCHO.
SO LET'S GO OVER THE RULES ONE MORE TIME.
NUMBER ONE, I AM THE CAPTAIN OF THIS ALLIANCE,
SO I GET TO MAKE THE RULES.
NUMBER TWO
BREAKING THE RULES CAN RESUL
IN GETTING KICKED OUT OF THE ALLIANCE?
HEATHER: GOOD.
NUMBER THREE, I CAN BORROW ANY OF YOUR STUFF WITHOUT ASKING,
BUT MY STUFF IS STRICTLY OFF LIMITS.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT LAST RULE.
THAT'S COOL.
I CAN CHANGE IT.
I CAN ALSO FIND SOMEONE ELSE
TO TAKE TO THE FINAL THREE WITH ME.
GOOD. WANNA HAVE SOME FUN?
HEY, FISH-HEADS,
WAY TO KICK OUT YOUR STRONGEST PLAYER.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST GIVE UP NOW?
MISSED ME.
OKAY, CAMPERS, LISTEN UP.
YOUR NEXT CHALLENGE BEGINS IN 10 MINUTES,
AND BE PREPARED TO BRING IT.
DUNCAN: WAKE ME UP,
AND IT'LL BE THE LAST THING YOU DO.
(TYLER GULPS)
THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, YOU KNOW?
YOU AND YOUR SNORING FACE.
IT'S CALLED A MEDICAL CONDITION. GOSH!
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
TODAY'S CHALLENGE IS THE CLASSIC GAME OF DODGEBALL.
THE FIRST RULE OF DODGEBALL IS--
DO NOT TALK ABOUT DODGEBALL?
AS I WAS SAYING,
IF YOU GET HIT WITH THE BALL--
OOH. OW!
-CHRIS: YOU'RE OUT. -YOU CAN'T JUST DO THAT!
IF YOU CATCH THE BALL, THE THROWER GETS SENT OU
AND THE CATCHER GETS TO BRING IN ANOTHER TEAM MEMBER
OUT ON THE COURT.
THROWING BALLS,
GEE, ANOTHER MENTALLY CHALLENGING TEST.
I KNOW, RIGHT?
OKAY, NOW, GEOFF, TRY TO HIT ME.
IF YOU'RE HOLDING A BALL,
YOU CAN USE IT TO DEFLECT A BALL.
BUT IF IT KNOCKS THE BALL OUT OF YOUR HANDS, YOU'RE OUT.
SO WHAT DO I DO AGAIN WHEN THE BALL COMES AT ME?
YOU DODGE!
ALL: AH!
OOH, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DODGE.
OWRIGHT.
YOU HAVE ONE MINUTE UNTIL GAME TIME.
GOPHERS, YOU'LL HAVE TO SIT ONE PERSON OUT EACH GAME.
OKAY, WE CAN'T GET LAZY.
THE KILLER BASS ARE GONNA BE TRYING EXTRA HARD TO CATCH UP.
WHO WANTS TO SIT THE FIRST ONE OUT WITH SLEEPING BEAUTY HERE?
ALL RIGHT, I'LL VOLUNTEER.
NOW LET'S SEE ALL YOU KEENERS GET ON OUT THERE AND DODGE.
BRING IT ON, FISHIES.
OTHERWISE WINNING THREE IN A ROW
JUST WON'T BE AS SATISFYING.
OH, YOU'RE GOING DOWN!
WE'RE GONNA BRING THE DINNER TO THE TABLE,
AND THEN WE'RE GONNA EAT IT!
CHRIS: BOTH TEAMS READY?
BEST OF FIVE GAMES WINS.
NOW LET'S DODGE SOME BALL!
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
(ALL CHEER)
OOH.
THAT'LL SMEAR THE MAKEUP.
NICE JOB.
NOW LET'S SEE IF YOU CAN HIT SOMEONE ON THEIR TEAM!
OW. DARN IT.
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
(ALL CHEER)
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
TIME TO UNLEASH MY WICKED SKILLS.
YEAH?
THEN BRING IT, STRING BEAN!
LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT!
AAH!
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
AND THAT'S HOW WE ROLL!
CAN SOMEONE REMIND ME WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO
WITH THIS AGAIN?
(CHEERING)
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
-YO, BABY. -WOO-HOO.
-MOMMY. -WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?
REF, HE'S NOT EVEN ON THE COURT.
OOPS! HE SLIPPED.
UGH.
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
-OH! -OH, SORRY.
OH, IT'S COOL.
TRUST ME.
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
EASY OUT, GUYS, EASY OUT.
THAT IS ONE TOUGH BALL TO DODGE.
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
(ALL CHEER)
WE CAN DO THIS.
WE JUST HAVE TO BELIEVE IN OURSELVES.
OH, I BELIEVE.
I BELIEVE YOU SUCK!
-YEAH, YOU THROW LIKE A GIRL. -(LAUGHS)
YOU SHOULD TALK.
IT WAS A WARM-UP THROW.
LOOK, I CAN DOMINATE THIS GAME.
JUST GIVE ALL THE BALLS TO ME.
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
FINE. JUST TRY TO AIM FOR THE OTHER SIDE, OKAY?
ALL RIGHT, NOAH, YOU'RE UP.
YOU KNOW, YOU GUYS, DID SUCH AN AWESOME JOB
ON THE LAST GAME THAT I DON'T WANNA
MESS UP YOUR MOJO.
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
FINE.
LET'S GO, GUYS.
HEY! WATCH THE FACE, DUDE!
NO-O-O-O!
FINALLY.
LINDSAY: UH, HMM, TYLER?
OH, MY GOSH, MY FACE.
HOW'S MY FACE?
IT'S REALLY NOT THAT BAD.
YOU STILL LOOK GREAT.
LINDSAY: REALLY?
YEAH, REALLY.
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
YOU WANNA GO FOR A WALK?
LINDSAY: (THINKING) HAVE TO SAY NO.
HAVE TO SAY NO.
OKAY!
HEY. HEY, GET BACK HERE!
YOU ARE SO CLOSE TO BEING OUT OF THE ALLIANCE!
GREAT GATSBY, THAT IS IT.
GAME ON!
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
YEAH!
OW, THAT ONE'S WORTH AN INSTANT REPLAY.
FORWARD--OKAY, REWIND.
FORWARD, REWIND.
FORWARD, REWIND.
FORWARD, REWIND.
AND PAUSE.
(CHUCKLES)
THAT'S GONNA LEAVE A MARK.
OH, HE DROPPED IT LIKE IT WAS HOT!
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
(CHEERING)
I DON'T KNOW WHAT GOT INTO ME.
I'M GLAD SOMEONE IS TRYING TODAY.
OH, SORRY.
WOO-HOO, WAY TO THROW THOSE MURDER BALLS.
GO, TEAM. GO.
NICE TEAM SPIRIT.
HEY, IT'S 2-0.
HOW DOES IT FEEL TO SUCK SO MUCH?
NOT VERY GOOD.
IT'S NOT OVER YET.
IT'S SO OVER.
OKAY, THIS IS REALLY BAD.
ONE MORE GAME, AND WE LOSE THE WHOLE CHALLENGE, AGAIN!
WE CAN'T LET THAT HAPPEN, PEOPLE.
WE NEED SOMEONE STRONG, SOMEONE MEAN,
SOMEONE WHO'LL CRUSH THOSE STUPID GOPHERS INTO THE DIRT.
UNH-UNH, IF WE WAKE HIM UP, HE'LL KILL US.
HE WON'T KILL US, GUYS.
HE WANTS TO WIN, TOO.
COURTNEY'S RIGHT.
WE NEED DUNCAN'S FIERCENESS TO WIN THIS.
THAT'S THE SPIRIT, HAROLD.
NOW GO WAKE HIM UP.
WHY ME?
BECAUSE OTHER THAN TYLER, YOU'RE THE WORST AT DODGEBALL.
AND IF HE DOES KILL YOU, YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE
WE CAN AFFORD TO LOSE.
NO WAY, I'M NOT DOING IT.
WELL, WHO'S GONNA WAKE HIM UP?
WE HAVE TO GO HIGHER.
YOU BETTER HAVE A REALLY GOOD REASON
FOR STICKING THIS UP MY NOSE.
LOOK. WE ARE DOWN TWO, NOTHING.
I CAN APPRECIATE THAT YOU NEED A LITTLE NAP TIME,
BUT WE NEED YOUR HELP.
OH, AND WHY SHOULD I HELP YOU, DARLING?
BECAUSE I CAN PERSONALLY GUARANTEE YOU
THAT IF WE LOSE THIS GAME,
YOU'LL BE THE ONE GOING HOME, DARLING.
(SIGHS) FINE.
I'LL PLAY ON ONE CONDITION.
YOU DO WHAT I SAY WHEN I SAY IT.
OKAY, HERE'S A STRATEGY I PICKED UP
DURING MY FIRST VISIT TO JUVIE.
IT'S CALLED RUSH THE NEW GUY.
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
(CHEERING)
WAY TO GO, GUYS.
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
COME ON, A LITTLE EFFORT OUT THERE, PEOPLE.
I THINK THAT WE SHOULD DO THE SAME THING ALL OVER AGAIN.
SO, HAROLD, SIT THIS ONE OUT TO.
BUT I SAT THE LAST ONE OUT.
IT'S FOR THE GOOD OF THE TEAM.
OKAY, NOT THAT NOAH HERE CARES,
BUT WE ARE NOT LOSING ANOTHER GAME TO THESE GUYS, GOT IT?
AND WHERE IS LINDSAY?
OH!
(GASPS)
(LINDSAY LAUGHS)
THIS IS SO AGAINST THE RULES.
I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN IT.
HEY, WHY DON'T YOU JUST CHILL OUT?
WHY DON'T YOU DODGE THIS?
OW!
SIT DOWN AND STAY THERE.
OKAY.
HOW ARE WE DOING?
SPORTS NOT MY FORTE, REMEMBER?
YOU KNOW YOU COULD ACTUALLY GIVE IT A SHO
AND PRETEND TO CARE.
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
THIS IS SO UNACCEPTABLE.
WHERE WERE YOU?
NOWHERE.
YOU WERE WITH THAT BLOND GOPHER GIRL, WEREN'T YOU?
NO
MAYBESO?
SO?
SHE COULD'VE BEEN GETTING YOU TO SPILL
ALL OF OUR WEAKNESSES TO HER.
OKAY, THIS IS IT, THE FINAL TIE-BREAKING GAME.
GO TEAM, GO.
OKAY, WHO'S GOING IN?
I THINK IT'S MY TURN?
NO WAY. WE ACTUALLY HAVE A CHANCE TO WIN THIS.
GOPHERS, BASS,
LET'S SEND THIS SAMPLE TO THE LAB
AND SEE WHAT YOU'RE MADE OF.
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
COME ON, PEOPLE.
QUICK FEET, FAST HANDS.
KNOCK 'EM OUT. THROW 'EM OUT.
RAH, RAH.
OW!
YOU'RE RIGHT. SPORTS AREN'T YOUR FORTE.
BACK OF THE COURT, PRINCESS.
THAT'S FOR THE OATMEAL.
OH, YOU MESSED WITH THE WRONG WHITE GIRL.
(GASPS)
(ALL CHEER)
SORRY, DUDE, BUT YOU GOTTA GO DOWN.
GOOD NIGHT, HAROLD.
WHOA.
TIME OUT! TIME OUT!
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
MAN, THAT BOY'S GOT DODGE.
WHERE'D YOU LEARN TO DO THAT?
FIGURE SKATING.
HAROLD, THAT WAS AWESOME.
BUT DODGING ISN'T ENOUGH.
COURTNEY: HE'S RIGHT.
TO WIN THIS, YOU EITHER HAVE TO THROW HIM OUT--
WHICH WE ALL KNOW YOU CAN'T DO--
OR CATCH THE BALL.
CAN YOU DO IT?
DEFINITELY.
AWESOME. NOW GO CATCH THAT BALL.
ALL: HAROLD, HAROLD, HAROLD, HAROLD.
COWABUNGA!
(GASPS)
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
THE KILLER BASS WIN!
YOU DID IT.
IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
WHY!?
NICE DODGE, SKATER NERD.
GOPHERS, WHAT HAPPENED?
WHAT CAN I SAY?
WEAK EFFORT.
OH, SHUT IT, NOAH.
YOU KNOW, FOR ONCE I AGREE WITH HER.
TOUCHY.
WHAT?
I'LL TELL YOU, THE TEAM SPIRIT HERE IS SEVERELY LACKING LATELY.
I GUESS I'M KIND OF A ROLE MODEL
NOW THAT I WON THE DODGEBALL COMPETITION.
PEOPLE WILL PROBABLY ALL WANT MY AUTOGRAPH
WHEN THE SHOW IS OVER AND STUFF.
CAMPERS, YOU'VE ALREADY PLACED YOUR VOTES
AND MADE YOUR DECISION.
ONE OF YOU WILL BE GOING HOME AND YOU CAN'T COME BACK
EVER.
WHEN YOU HEAR ME CALL OUT YOUR NAME,
COME PICK UP A MARSHMALLOW.
OWEN,
GWEN, CODY.
TRENT.
HEATHER.
BETH.
JUSTIN.
LESHAWNA.
IZZY.
THE FINAL MARSHMALLOW GOES TO
LINDSAY.
WOO-HOO! YEAH!
WHAT, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
WOO-HOO!
ALL RIGHT, SEE IF I CARE.
GOOD LUCK BECAUSE YOU JUST VOTED OUT THE ONLY ONE
WITH ANY BRAINS ON THIS TEAM.
OW!
YOU NEED TO LEARN A LITTLE THING CALLED RESPECT, TURKEY.
WHATEVER, I'M OUTTA HERE.
ALL RIGHT, SO IT WASN'
THE MOST DRAMATIC CAMPFIRE CEREMONY EVER.
BUT I STILL GET PAID. (LAUGHS)