Turbo FAST (2013) s01e04 Episode Script
African Queen; Mega Snails
1 # Whoa! Woo! # Those snails are fast - # Turbo - F-A-S-T # That's the team you'll never beat Turbo, he got super speed Whiplash, he jets to the lead Skidmark, propeller flow Chet's safe, he'll take it slow Smoove Move with them speakers, baby Burn burnin' that fire crazy White Shadow, big with no fear Now you know the team is here There they go, gone in a flash - # Those snails are fast - Turbo # - # Those snails are fast - Whoa! # - # Those snails are fast - Whoa! # Those snails are fast, fast, fast, fast, fast Turbo Mmm! Now, this is the way to travel.
Gazpacho tub, heirloom tomatochinos And an all-you-can-eat soft-serve refried bean machine.
At fifty-thousand feet! Whoo.
You have to remind me that we're sitting in a flying metal tube and the only things keeping us in the air are flimsy wings - and complicated math! - Don't forget the hundreds of gallons of highly explosive jet fuel in those wings! Focus on the positive, bro.
We're going to Africa! With a fancy royal invite from a queen.
A lady who is large and in charge.
"Queen Bananica, leader of the Banana slugs, requests your presence for a high stakes race across the savannah.
" - So cool.
- Nothing like a chance to show off our stuff on some new turf! Speaking of which, I cannot wait to see this high stakes course and meet my fellow racers.
Well, there seems to be a severe lack of high stakes course.
And fellow racers, and well, pretty much anything except banana trees.
We traveled all this way to find another garden? Yeah, with foreign food.
Skid, are you sure this is the spot? Well, if "X" marks the spot, we're right in the crosshairs.
What have we gotten ourselves into? I'll protect you, boo.
Eww! But not from that gunk.
Welcome, my friends.
I am Queen Bananica.
Look, everyone, it is our savior, Turbo! Uh Hi? Thank you, thank you, Turbo and friends, for coming to save us from this epidemic.
Uh, excuse me? You invited us to a high stakes race across the savannah.
Yes, a race across the savannah to bring back the cure for the horrible illness that has befallen my people.
Uh-huh.
And what about the "high stakes" part? Are there any higher stakes than life or death? - What?! - And you don't see how - your invitation could be misleading? - No, not at all! Unless you read the words.
OK, I've been pretty sick recently.
Oh, that's it.
Let's go.
Did I mention that the cure is found in a cave lined with diamonds? - You think we care about diamonds? - Diamonds You're so cool.
Mm-hm.
Watch this.
Bling diamond disco! I didn't think it was possible, but now you're even cooler.
Cool as ice.
Finding new bling is always my thing.
OK, maybe one of us cares about diamonds.
- But we're still not going.
- Well I'm just saying, whether we got tricked into coming here or not, maybe we should help these people.
What are you guys talking about? Do you know what's out there? Not just bugs that carry disease! We're talking about terrifying beasts! Lions.
Rhinos.
Clam-o-potamuses.
They have the head of a clam and the leg of a I hate to admit it, but the boy does have a point.
We do have the speed that these slugs need.
- So - it's our duty to help their butts? I believe the word you were looking for is "booties.
" Yep.
That was it.
Your Majesty, we'll get you your cure.
Oh, thank you, brave snails! I knew you would come through for us.
Cancel the back up SEAL team.
The cave you seek is here, in Meerkat Valley.
Inside you will find a blue moss called "sporus ibuprofus.
" - Bring back as much as you can.
- Among other things.
Uh, hold on.
These meerkats, are they gonna be trouble? No, no, no! Delightful little creatures.
- Uh-huh.
- Would I lie to you? - Yes.
You already did.
- Chet, we'll be fine.
Of course you will.
But, what about me? If I go with you guys, I'll just slow you down.
But, I definitely don't want to stay here either.
They keep trying to feed me these! Raw! No, thank you.
I'm a tomato man.
Mmm! Not bad.
Maybe just one more bite.
I mean, I don't want to be rude.
I think I'll stay.
You know, for the good of the mission.
Yeah, I'd better stay, too.
You know, for the good of Chet.
You guys ready for a snail safari? Yeah! Prides, herds, and packs better step back.
Some local flavor to set the mood.
Ah, hope you can keep up! - Where's? - White Shadow! - Safari stunts.
- Oh yeah.
Yeah.
- Chet.
- Oh, baby.
Where have you been all my life? Oh, no.
Is Burn gonna have to flambé a slug?! Uh Banana? This is it.
Meerkat Valley.
The cave with the cure is back there.
"Meerkats, delightful little creatures.
" - She left out that they eat snails! - OK, clearly that woman will say or do anything to help her people.
And I sort of respect that.
But we got a job to do, so let's go in fast and quiet.
Let's do this! Let's do this.
Yeah, gotta find some ice for Smoove's dice.
Smoove! Move! Smoove! Move! Smoove! Move! Smoove! Move! Run! Our crew's got moves, but swimmin' ain't one of them.
On it! Hop on! Ah, looks like he can't swim, either! Oh, sayonara, silly cat! - You can't even catch us! - That'll show you, puppy dog! Skidmark! Back me up! Need! More! Power! - Uh-oh! - Oh, no! Keep going.
It'll hold! Look, my tires make me a flotation device! Let's try to get past the meerkats again, shall we? Without the soundtrack.
Mmm! Uh, Chet, baby, I think maybe you've had enough bananas.
Enough bananas? There's no such thing! Bananas are the best food ever! I mean, I can stop at any time, but why would I? Bananas! - It's quiet.
Too quiet.
- Always with the conspiracies.
It's still too quiet.
And too dark.
Yeah, I got that.
There's the moss! But no diamonds! Smoove has been played.
Sorry, pal, I guess Wow.
For once she was telling the truth.
Blingity-bling-bling-bling! We got enough moss, let's Uh-oh.
Uh guys? Run! - Looks like we gonna have to fight.
- Against them?! If only we had something to fire at them with our shells.
Yeah, something like the hardest substance on Earth? Uh, yeah, that would be cool.
- Something shiny! - Shiny is the best.
Hand over the doggone diamonds! - Well? You fools gonna help? - Turbo, let's Gatling this! Oh, man.
Bye-bye, bling-bling.
Let's move! Bling-blang-victory, baby.
Turbo, we cannot thank you and your friends enough - for saving our kingdom.
- Our pleasure.
But the next time you call, try telling us the truth.
I promise I will never lie to you again unless, you know, I need to.
Did we miss someone? I think my boo might have overdone it on the bananas.
Stomach.
Bad things happening.
And I do not want to sit next to him on the flight home.
Finally.
Every one of this year's safety reports organized by infraction.
That's my kind of weekend! Guys! Oh Hey, Turbo, what's the emotion behind this commotion? At the mall parking lot I found What are you sayin', snail? - Oh yeah! - Dolla make ya holla, baby! To the machine! There they are.
- Tomato Yums.
- Five C.
The mother lode.
I need 'em! I need 'em in my mouth! First we gotta figure out how to get this dollar into that slot.
Have no fear, baby, Smoove Move's always got a plan.
- Well, I'm outta ideas.
- We're gonna need a flatter dollar.
OK, White Shadow, nice and easy.
Oh, yeah, come to papa.
Ohh! Tomato Yums! - Ugh! Ugh! - Tomato Yums! I want Tomato Yums! I want Tomato Yums! I want Tomato Yums! I want Tomato Yums! - I want Tomato Yums! - Ow! Ow! It worked! Oh, yeah, come to Papa.
Right here! We need you, baby! No! - It was so close.
- No, guys! Come back.
It might fall.
It might fall! It didn't fall.
It's not fair.
White Shadow! I can't believe he ate everything.
I don't feel so good.
Oh! My little amigo's little amigo got huge! You're the biggest snail I've ever seen.
I just got another amazing idea! They say it's good luck to rub my belly.
Oh! Me next! Wow! It feels like a balloon full of jelly inside another balloon filled with pudding! White Shadow, I wanna be just like you when I grow up! Maybe someday, kid.
Being a celebrity is fun! I can see why you like it so much.
Yeah, well, being famous can have a downside as well.
- Like what? - I challenge you! Like that.
Who are you guys? We are the real Mega-Snails of Little Little Tokyo! Cool! You guys want my autograph? The mere suggestion of that is laughable.
We have come to challenge the one they call White Shadow to Snail Slam! Now, hold on.
As team manager, I can't let one of my guys participate in some unsanctioned contest.
To refuse is to bring Great Shame to your village.
Do it, White Shadow! Don't let them shame us! OK, I'll do your little slammy game thing.
We return tomorrow to crush you.
They seem nice.
Shadow, do you even know what you signed up for? It's some sort of dance contest, right? I don't like that kind of dancing! Says here that Snail Slam is a battle royale for the world's best-trained fighting Mega-Snails.
Last snail left in the ring wins! They'll tear him apart like an overstuffed piñata.
We can't let them impale our fellow snail! Shadow, hon, maybe you could just leave town for a few days.
Oh, oh! I know a doctor in Guatemala, he can change you into a lizard, no questions asked.
He's not turning into some dang, dirty lizard! Look, we'll just go talk to the Mega-Snails.
I'm sure they'll understand.
You dare back out of challenge?! We will bring Great Shame to your village! Yeah? Well, I guess we'll have to live with that.
- Fine.
Bring her out! - Her? What is that? That is Great Shame, of course! If you back out, she will ravage your village, and pick her teeth with your shells! See? She very hungry for snail.
OK, OK! I'll do it! I guess there's no turning back now.
- Hope you're ready.
- Not really.
Well then, we're gonna get you ready.
The donut.
The donut! I feel super-awesome.
Uh, just one thing.
I'm teeny-tiny again! Maybe we did make you sweat a little too much, but, I mean, you still real chunky.
You're just sayin' that to make me feel better.
Come on, Shadow, you look great! Yeah, but those guys are way bigger than me.
Exactly.
For the first time in your life, you'll be the smallest guy out there.
And in the best shape.
They can't hit what they can't catch.
White Shadow.
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Snail Slam, which I'm guessing is some sort of heavy metal music concert.
Actually, I'm being told it's a high-octane contest where the last snail to be counted out wins! Hah! Who would've thunk it? Anyway, it looks like today's contestants will be competing for honor.
Seriously.
That's what it says.
The odds-on favorite today is the reigning champion, Megazuki, which I believe is Japanese for "Large Zuki.
" And here comes the challenger, Starlight City's own Mega-Snail, White Shadow! - What happened? - What happened to White Shadow? Huh, it appears our Mega-Snail has gone micro.
This should be brutal.
Look, he's become tiny snail.
Let us laugh in his direction.
OK, just stick to the plan! - Right.
What was the plan? - Just keep moving.
Oh, a simple plan.
My favorite kind! Let us crush him! You fool! You have revealed our entire strategy.
I have dishonored myself.
I accept my fate.
Well, there's a good break for White Shadow, but let's be honest, the remaining two Mega-Snails should still have no problem violently crushing his shell.
You dare shake your tiny hindquarters at us? Prepare to be impacted by my massive girth.
Oh, my! I just got back from the bathroom, but I'm guessing by the cheers, that something exciting just happened.
Hey! We're down to two snails! You will pay! What do I do now? I can't just outrun him forever.
Yes, you can.
You got this.
No sweat! Sweat? Hey, that's it! I got it.
Good luck finding me in the shadow.
Over here! Huh.
Missed me! All right! Ugh! That's some nice Shadow boxin'! Dodge! Whoa! Sidestep! Missed me! Do I Miss! Missed me! Get back here - and fight! - OK! - Yeah! - He did it! White Shadow wins the Snail Slam! - Way to go, buddy.
- Good work, Shadow! I know you're bummed you're no longer the world's biggest snail, but at least you're the world's smallest Snail Slam champ! That still makes you sort of a celebrity.
- Works for me! - And it looks like you made a fan for life.
That's right! White Shadow's the best! He's so cool! He's That guy's wearing a hat! Cool! Mr.
Hat Man! Mr.
Hat Man! So anyone up for some Tomato Yums? No, seriously guys, I'm starving.
Gazpacho tub, heirloom tomatochinos And an all-you-can-eat soft-serve refried bean machine.
At fifty-thousand feet! Whoo.
You have to remind me that we're sitting in a flying metal tube and the only things keeping us in the air are flimsy wings - and complicated math! - Don't forget the hundreds of gallons of highly explosive jet fuel in those wings! Focus on the positive, bro.
We're going to Africa! With a fancy royal invite from a queen.
A lady who is large and in charge.
"Queen Bananica, leader of the Banana slugs, requests your presence for a high stakes race across the savannah.
" - So cool.
- Nothing like a chance to show off our stuff on some new turf! Speaking of which, I cannot wait to see this high stakes course and meet my fellow racers.
Well, there seems to be a severe lack of high stakes course.
And fellow racers, and well, pretty much anything except banana trees.
We traveled all this way to find another garden? Yeah, with foreign food.
Skid, are you sure this is the spot? Well, if "X" marks the spot, we're right in the crosshairs.
What have we gotten ourselves into? I'll protect you, boo.
Eww! But not from that gunk.
Welcome, my friends.
I am Queen Bananica.
Look, everyone, it is our savior, Turbo! Uh Hi? Thank you, thank you, Turbo and friends, for coming to save us from this epidemic.
Uh, excuse me? You invited us to a high stakes race across the savannah.
Yes, a race across the savannah to bring back the cure for the horrible illness that has befallen my people.
Uh-huh.
And what about the "high stakes" part? Are there any higher stakes than life or death? - What?! - And you don't see how - your invitation could be misleading? - No, not at all! Unless you read the words.
OK, I've been pretty sick recently.
Oh, that's it.
Let's go.
Did I mention that the cure is found in a cave lined with diamonds? - You think we care about diamonds? - Diamonds You're so cool.
Mm-hm.
Watch this.
Bling diamond disco! I didn't think it was possible, but now you're even cooler.
Cool as ice.
Finding new bling is always my thing.
OK, maybe one of us cares about diamonds.
- But we're still not going.
- Well I'm just saying, whether we got tricked into coming here or not, maybe we should help these people.
What are you guys talking about? Do you know what's out there? Not just bugs that carry disease! We're talking about terrifying beasts! Lions.
Rhinos.
Clam-o-potamuses.
They have the head of a clam and the leg of a I hate to admit it, but the boy does have a point.
We do have the speed that these slugs need.
- So - it's our duty to help their butts? I believe the word you were looking for is "booties.
" Yep.
That was it.
Your Majesty, we'll get you your cure.
Oh, thank you, brave snails! I knew you would come through for us.
Cancel the back up SEAL team.
The cave you seek is here, in Meerkat Valley.
Inside you will find a blue moss called "sporus ibuprofus.
" - Bring back as much as you can.
- Among other things.
Uh, hold on.
These meerkats, are they gonna be trouble? No, no, no! Delightful little creatures.
- Uh-huh.
- Would I lie to you? - Yes.
You already did.
- Chet, we'll be fine.
Of course you will.
But, what about me? If I go with you guys, I'll just slow you down.
But, I definitely don't want to stay here either.
They keep trying to feed me these! Raw! No, thank you.
I'm a tomato man.
Mmm! Not bad.
Maybe just one more bite.
I mean, I don't want to be rude.
I think I'll stay.
You know, for the good of the mission.
Yeah, I'd better stay, too.
You know, for the good of Chet.
You guys ready for a snail safari? Yeah! Prides, herds, and packs better step back.
Some local flavor to set the mood.
Ah, hope you can keep up! - Where's? - White Shadow! - Safari stunts.
- Oh yeah.
Yeah.
- Chet.
- Oh, baby.
Where have you been all my life? Oh, no.
Is Burn gonna have to flambé a slug?! Uh Banana? This is it.
Meerkat Valley.
The cave with the cure is back there.
"Meerkats, delightful little creatures.
" - She left out that they eat snails! - OK, clearly that woman will say or do anything to help her people.
And I sort of respect that.
But we got a job to do, so let's go in fast and quiet.
Let's do this! Let's do this.
Yeah, gotta find some ice for Smoove's dice.
Smoove! Move! Smoove! Move! Smoove! Move! Smoove! Move! Run! Our crew's got moves, but swimmin' ain't one of them.
On it! Hop on! Ah, looks like he can't swim, either! Oh, sayonara, silly cat! - You can't even catch us! - That'll show you, puppy dog! Skidmark! Back me up! Need! More! Power! - Uh-oh! - Oh, no! Keep going.
It'll hold! Look, my tires make me a flotation device! Let's try to get past the meerkats again, shall we? Without the soundtrack.
Mmm! Uh, Chet, baby, I think maybe you've had enough bananas.
Enough bananas? There's no such thing! Bananas are the best food ever! I mean, I can stop at any time, but why would I? Bananas! - It's quiet.
Too quiet.
- Always with the conspiracies.
It's still too quiet.
And too dark.
Yeah, I got that.
There's the moss! But no diamonds! Smoove has been played.
Sorry, pal, I guess Wow.
For once she was telling the truth.
Blingity-bling-bling-bling! We got enough moss, let's Uh-oh.
Uh guys? Run! - Looks like we gonna have to fight.
- Against them?! If only we had something to fire at them with our shells.
Yeah, something like the hardest substance on Earth? Uh, yeah, that would be cool.
- Something shiny! - Shiny is the best.
Hand over the doggone diamonds! - Well? You fools gonna help? - Turbo, let's Gatling this! Oh, man.
Bye-bye, bling-bling.
Let's move! Bling-blang-victory, baby.
Turbo, we cannot thank you and your friends enough - for saving our kingdom.
- Our pleasure.
But the next time you call, try telling us the truth.
I promise I will never lie to you again unless, you know, I need to.
Did we miss someone? I think my boo might have overdone it on the bananas.
Stomach.
Bad things happening.
And I do not want to sit next to him on the flight home.
Finally.
Every one of this year's safety reports organized by infraction.
That's my kind of weekend! Guys! Oh Hey, Turbo, what's the emotion behind this commotion? At the mall parking lot I found What are you sayin', snail? - Oh yeah! - Dolla make ya holla, baby! To the machine! There they are.
- Tomato Yums.
- Five C.
The mother lode.
I need 'em! I need 'em in my mouth! First we gotta figure out how to get this dollar into that slot.
Have no fear, baby, Smoove Move's always got a plan.
- Well, I'm outta ideas.
- We're gonna need a flatter dollar.
OK, White Shadow, nice and easy.
Oh, yeah, come to papa.
Ohh! Tomato Yums! - Ugh! Ugh! - Tomato Yums! I want Tomato Yums! I want Tomato Yums! I want Tomato Yums! I want Tomato Yums! - I want Tomato Yums! - Ow! Ow! It worked! Oh, yeah, come to Papa.
Right here! We need you, baby! No! - It was so close.
- No, guys! Come back.
It might fall.
It might fall! It didn't fall.
It's not fair.
White Shadow! I can't believe he ate everything.
I don't feel so good.
Oh! My little amigo's little amigo got huge! You're the biggest snail I've ever seen.
I just got another amazing idea! They say it's good luck to rub my belly.
Oh! Me next! Wow! It feels like a balloon full of jelly inside another balloon filled with pudding! White Shadow, I wanna be just like you when I grow up! Maybe someday, kid.
Being a celebrity is fun! I can see why you like it so much.
Yeah, well, being famous can have a downside as well.
- Like what? - I challenge you! Like that.
Who are you guys? We are the real Mega-Snails of Little Little Tokyo! Cool! You guys want my autograph? The mere suggestion of that is laughable.
We have come to challenge the one they call White Shadow to Snail Slam! Now, hold on.
As team manager, I can't let one of my guys participate in some unsanctioned contest.
To refuse is to bring Great Shame to your village.
Do it, White Shadow! Don't let them shame us! OK, I'll do your little slammy game thing.
We return tomorrow to crush you.
They seem nice.
Shadow, do you even know what you signed up for? It's some sort of dance contest, right? I don't like that kind of dancing! Says here that Snail Slam is a battle royale for the world's best-trained fighting Mega-Snails.
Last snail left in the ring wins! They'll tear him apart like an overstuffed piñata.
We can't let them impale our fellow snail! Shadow, hon, maybe you could just leave town for a few days.
Oh, oh! I know a doctor in Guatemala, he can change you into a lizard, no questions asked.
He's not turning into some dang, dirty lizard! Look, we'll just go talk to the Mega-Snails.
I'm sure they'll understand.
You dare back out of challenge?! We will bring Great Shame to your village! Yeah? Well, I guess we'll have to live with that.
- Fine.
Bring her out! - Her? What is that? That is Great Shame, of course! If you back out, she will ravage your village, and pick her teeth with your shells! See? She very hungry for snail.
OK, OK! I'll do it! I guess there's no turning back now.
- Hope you're ready.
- Not really.
Well then, we're gonna get you ready.
The donut.
The donut! I feel super-awesome.
Uh, just one thing.
I'm teeny-tiny again! Maybe we did make you sweat a little too much, but, I mean, you still real chunky.
You're just sayin' that to make me feel better.
Come on, Shadow, you look great! Yeah, but those guys are way bigger than me.
Exactly.
For the first time in your life, you'll be the smallest guy out there.
And in the best shape.
They can't hit what they can't catch.
White Shadow.
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Snail Slam, which I'm guessing is some sort of heavy metal music concert.
Actually, I'm being told it's a high-octane contest where the last snail to be counted out wins! Hah! Who would've thunk it? Anyway, it looks like today's contestants will be competing for honor.
Seriously.
That's what it says.
The odds-on favorite today is the reigning champion, Megazuki, which I believe is Japanese for "Large Zuki.
" And here comes the challenger, Starlight City's own Mega-Snail, White Shadow! - What happened? - What happened to White Shadow? Huh, it appears our Mega-Snail has gone micro.
This should be brutal.
Look, he's become tiny snail.
Let us laugh in his direction.
OK, just stick to the plan! - Right.
What was the plan? - Just keep moving.
Oh, a simple plan.
My favorite kind! Let us crush him! You fool! You have revealed our entire strategy.
I have dishonored myself.
I accept my fate.
Well, there's a good break for White Shadow, but let's be honest, the remaining two Mega-Snails should still have no problem violently crushing his shell.
You dare shake your tiny hindquarters at us? Prepare to be impacted by my massive girth.
Oh, my! I just got back from the bathroom, but I'm guessing by the cheers, that something exciting just happened.
Hey! We're down to two snails! You will pay! What do I do now? I can't just outrun him forever.
Yes, you can.
You got this.
No sweat! Sweat? Hey, that's it! I got it.
Good luck finding me in the shadow.
Over here! Huh.
Missed me! All right! Ugh! That's some nice Shadow boxin'! Dodge! Whoa! Sidestep! Missed me! Do I Miss! Missed me! Get back here - and fight! - OK! - Yeah! - He did it! White Shadow wins the Snail Slam! - Way to go, buddy.
- Good work, Shadow! I know you're bummed you're no longer the world's biggest snail, but at least you're the world's smallest Snail Slam champ! That still makes you sort of a celebrity.
- Works for me! - And it looks like you made a fan for life.
That's right! White Shadow's the best! He's so cool! He's That guy's wearing a hat! Cool! Mr.
Hat Man! Mr.
Hat Man! So anyone up for some Tomato Yums? No, seriously guys, I'm starving.