Vanderpump Villa (2024) s01e04 Episode Script

1
[lively music playing]
[Lisa Vanderpump] Previously on
Vanderpump Villa
- [vocalizing]
- It looks like a big turd.
You're gonna burn the
[bleep] house down.
You saved everyone. You're the
savior of the house. Great.
That was funny as hell.
Okay, I want to speak. If anybody
interrupts me talking right now,
they can leave this room.
I am the chateau manager.
I was never in the military,
but this is gonna be run
like a military operation.
[deep breath]
Are you okay?
I'm super nice,
but I have extreme nasty
side as well.
This dude does not know what
the [bleep] he's talking about.
- Am I interrupting?
- [Eric] But no more fun and games.
Eric's confidence is
tipping into arrogance.
I make the decisions here.
Welcome!
So our guest of honor, Harlan.
This is a very exciting moment
to commemorate her full
transition to female.
Wait, we have to set up
for the lilac picnic.
Oh, we've got time.
This is only 10:00.
This is Lisa's decision.
It was supposed to
be on the gravel.
- I want to know who's changing my plans.
- Eric.
- Can we talk?
- Sure.
Stephen is gunning for my job.
I know he's the one who told.
- That's not what it was supposed to be.
- I understand.
I understand. I'm sorry.
You're batshit [bleep] crazy.
- What a tattletale.
- [group cheering]
[Lisa] The marque event is
The Butterfly Rebirth Ball.
[speaker] Yeah, man!
Hey, can I do a shot please?
[dramatic sting]
My team right now,
they don't respect me.
Lisa's up my ass.
I'm a little scared, I'm going nervous,
I'm going crazy.
- [guests shouting]
- [dramatic crescendo]
[intriguing theme
music playing]
♪♪
[intense music playing]
[Eric]
Hey, can I do a shot, please?
Lisa told me that
I need to, like,
make sure no one
steps behind the bar
because when I do so,
I get in trouble with
my "manager"
who's not really my manager.
So, at the end of the day,
if you want to go behind the bar
and pour yourself a shot,
go for it.
[indistinct chatter]
Alright.
[plucky music playing]
There's no way.
Be [bleep] for real.
♪♪
Be [bleep] for real.
[bottle slams]
[Eric]
My mission is to impress
Lisa Vanderpump
and prove that I'm doing my job
as the chateau manager.
Sit down, Harlan.
I gotta surprise
for [bleep] you.
[guests exclaim]
Turn on the music.
Call me manager tonight.
- Turn it up! Turn up the music.
- [screaming, laughter]
[Emily]
No! There's no way.
Oh, my God.
[Eric] First of all,
the guests get what they want
and sometimes it's unorthodox,
alright?
I am unorthodox,
I'm not traditional
and that's why I think that
I was hired for this position.
That's why I [bleep] love him!
- [guest] Woo!
- [Hannah] That's my manager. Let's go!
[group laughing, gasping]
[speaker] Woo!
[Emily]
I think he's cute.
[laughs] This is gonna
get me in trouble.
[Eric] Who's [bleep] next?
Priscila, you're up.
[Eric]
Oh, my lord.
Eric is definitely annoying.
Eric is that busboy who you find
behind the restaurant
smoking cigarettes
with a stolen bottle
from the bar.
It's really aggravating.
- [Harlan] Deadass!
- [Priscila] Oh, my God!
[Harlan]
Is that all you got?
- [playful, upbeat music playing]
- [Priscila] Oh shit.
[guests screaming, whooping]
♪♪
[echoing laughter]
[Eric] We're all here because
Lisa knows who we really are,
and I am gonna be myself.
This is what I do.
This is what I was born for.
- [laughter]
- [upbeat music playing]
- [Marciano] Dude.
- [Eric] Yeah, I'm missing one sock.
- It's worth it.
- [Marciano] [bleep] Worth it.
- And I had a great [bleep] time.
- [Marciano] Yeah, I know.
Eric is a go-getter and a complete
above-and-beyond kinda guy.
But now I realize that I
need to do whatever it takes
to make the guests happy.
Good thing I didn't
throw my underwear.
I didn't wanna scare everybody.
[laughter]
Eric, you're not here
to make friend.
You here, like, to make sure
the staff's doing their job.
They're never gonna
take you seriously.
So, it's on you.
[upbeat music playing]
Everything went really well
for Harlan's rebirth ball
and now we're just gonna relax
before Harlan and her friends
leave tomorrow.
I think Andre definitely
knows I like him,
but I do want to tell him
what I really feel.
I'm into you and-and you
See? Right there.
[Andre]
Grace is amazing.
She's the perfect little,
like, princess.
- What'd you say?
- Now who doesn't have anything to say?
- Yeah, I'm not speechless, I just
- Say it.
- Just like to think before I talk.
- Okay.
But I don't see Grace
in that light,
and I really don't want that
to affect our relationship.
Friendship,
not relationship.
Don't say that, don't say that.
- [Andre laughing]
- Shut up with that shit.
Shut up. Shut up,
shut up, shut up.
Damn, like that [bleep] sucks.
But I shot my shot
and that's it.
[Grace] Okay, alright.
[Grace]
I've spoken my mind
and I wanna put comfy
clothes on and move on.
- [Priscila] One leg up.
[Grace laughs]
- One other one.
- Oh, my God,
I'm too drunk for
this right now.
[Priscila] Another one.
Kick those off, you got this.
[Grace laughs, squeals]
[both laughing]
[lively, upbeat music playing]
[Anthony] The guest are leaving today.
So I like to be ready
and I feel like the kitchen
likes working,
some of the bar's working,
cleaning,
like, they're doing
an amazing job but like,
what the others doing?
[Marciano snores]
They just here for party
and having fun?
I do believe we are more
passionate chef in France.
A lot of people in America
are there because it's a job.
The love of food came
since I was a kid.
I always be around the kitchen.
When you're in the kitchen,
you have to be happy,
you have to enjoy
and you have to
want make people happy
about your food.
[lively, upbeat music playing]
- [Stratton] Yeah, French beret.
- [Harlan chuckles]
[excited chatter]
Ooh, la, la!
- Love it.
- [everyone applauds]
[Lisa]
This is so sweet.
I'm definitely gonna
wear this hat
till the car pulls off.
[laughs]
I'm so touched by
Harlan and her friends
and moments like these are
what Chateau Rosabelle's
all about.
I would love for this
Chateau to be such a success,
that people would cherish
these memories for a lifetime.
- Thank you so much for having us.
- [Lisa chuckles]
- Go and eat something.
- [overlapping chatter]
[lively music playing]
[guest]
Oh, my God, it looks so good.
So for breakfast we're
gonna stay, like, very classic,
also some, like, berry yogurt,
fruit and coconut yogurt,
granola.
♪♪
- [Eric] Harlan.
- Hello again.
Hello again.
Here is our comment card.
Lisa would like you to
fill it out to review our staff.
Alright, will do.
- Thank you, Eric.
- [Eric] You're welcome.
I have left everything
on the table.
Even if me and Stephen
did not see eye to eye.
[Stephen] Please don't
tell me to step up
because there's a reason
that I'm here
and it's not because
I don't step up.
I regret nothing and
I think I did a great job
and I just hope Lisa knows
that I can get the job done.
[Harlan]
"Did we tickle your fancy
or was there
more to be desired?"
[guest 1]
My fancy was tickled, baby.
[Harlan]
Well, I was tickled pink.
[laughter]
- [Harlan] Who needs improvement?
- [suspenseful music playing]
I feel like Eric was, like,
he was doing a really great job
- of having fun with us instead of like
- [Harlan] Yeah.
managing everything and like,
taking care of business.
- [Harlan] Yeah, I-I agree.
- [guest 2] I can see that.
♪♪
[upbeat music playing]
[Lisa]
Well, that's a first.
♪♪
[all saying goodbye
to each other]
I think the guests
had a good time,
but I don't have feedback
to, like, know how I'm doing.
I'm nervous a little bit
'cause everybody's working hard
and everybody wants
to be recognized.
Bye, guys.
- Au revoir.
- [Priscila] Au revoir. Bye.
- [Eric] Sure.
- [Priscila] Yes.
Every time, you know,
she calls you,
I'm like, "Oh God. Oh shit."
She's intimidating.
[Telly]
I don't think Eric realizes
his actions, like,
have consequences
and they affect people.
So, like, when he's, like, just
drinking shit and pouring shit,
it's gonna affect how
I work the next morning.
I got reprimanded
for drinking behind the bar.
You are so important
in this equation
and I'm relying on you.
And now Lisa is gonna
lay the hammer down.
I'm so [bleep] excited.
[dramatic crescendo]
[intense music playing]
Hi.
[Eric] All I wanna do
is get on that comment card.
But when Lisa pulls me
in the office,
I'm starting to worry.
I don't know what they're
gonna say.
Whatever you did, they said
they had the best time
and they loved both of you.
[upbeat music playing]
[Harlan] I really liked Eric,
not gonna lie.
- Like we know Eric.
- [guest 1] Did you? What?
- I couldn't tell.
- [laughter]
- Okay, but Priscila.
- [guest 2] I loved Priscila.
[guests] Priscila!
Priscila!
Oh, my God, Priscila
is fierce as hell.
I don't know what you did
but just keep doing it
because that's what
Chateau Rosabelle is about.
Fire!
Lead by example, people.
I will take you to
the promised land.
[whispering] [echoing]
I'm the shepherd of the flock.
[angelic music playing]
I appreciate you both very much.
I appreciate you.
Now go.
[both] Thank you!
- [Priscila laughs]
- [Eric] Woo!
[lively, upbeat music playing]
[Andre]
Telly is making me so nervous.
Look how cute I look
with this little head band.
I literally was looking
at myself in the mirror earlier
and I was like
- Dre, don't I look cute?
- [Andre] Okay. Okay. No.
[Telly]
You look really cute.
Hey Han, I'm gonna
put some bacon in there
unless you want tuna instead.
[Hannah] No. Ew!
Okay, well I'm gonna
dice up some of this stuff.
Hannah and I,
we're over the hump
and are definitely
in a good spot.
Right now,
I couldn't be happier,
and I think she feels
the exact same way.
[Hannah] Marciano and I
have been hooking up.
I'm across the world,
I'm in a new environment,
and I'm stuck on an island
with my ex-boyfriend.
Not an island, but in a chateau.
So yeah, it's a lot and
it was a lot to adapt to,
but now I wanna just
have fun and enjoy myself.
That was good.
[Lisa] Hello.
- [Eric] Good morning.
- [staff] Hello!
- [plucky music playing]
- Sit up straight.
I don't want to see what you
had for breakfast, darling.
- Thank you.
- [laughter]
[Lisa] We've had, you
know, two rather
delightful guest arrivals
up to now
and as the saying goes,
third times the charm.
You all did so well.
They said Eric went
above and beyond
in making a girl happy.
[laughter]
- I did go above and beyond.
- [Lisa] You did?
- [Eric] Yes
- [Gabriella] He did. He definitely did.
[Stephen] I'm not too surprised
that Eric is being praised
for going above and beyond
because for Eric, it's the abs
that get the attention,
definitely not being
the chateau manager.
- [curious music playing]
- So now our next guest of honor,
it's Lauren's
bachelorette party.
She's getting married to JP
who is a tennis pro.
Nice looking bunch.
Now you know bachelorette
parties,
- they can get a bit wild.
- [mischievous music playing]
[Marciano] I've seen a lot of
bachelorette parties in Vegas
and let me tell you,
it's gonna be
a fantastic time at the Chateau.
We're here for that.
[Hannah]
Marciano and I are in
a really good place right now,
but a bachelorette party?
That means a bunch
of horny women
just trying to hook up
with dudes.
I'm not worried, but we all know
Marciano likes to
peacock around.
If he tries anything or
tries to [bleep] with me,
I will come after him
like a [bleep] bulldog.
On day two, I've arranged a
topnotch masseuse and facialist
to pamper our guests
by the pool.
- Eric and Marciano
- [Eric] Yes?
try and keep your shirts on.
- Can we be the oil?
- [Marciano] Yeah, wait,
- I thought we were the oil boys. [laughs]
- Yeah I thought
we were the oil boys.
The oil You're gonna
put your hands on them?
[crosstalk]
[Lisa]
Yeah, sure.
We need some water back there.
It's getting thirsty.
- What's wrong with you today?
- [Telly] Nothing.
- Nothing?
- [tense music playing]
[Eric] Telly and Stephen
are honestly jealous
because I get praise and worship
and they get,
"Why didn't you do your job?"
[Lisa] You know, look,
you can say,
"Oh he's getting thirsty,
you need some water back there."
That's exactly what
we're here to do.
Otherwise, I might
as well have got some
fuddy duddy old staff
that sit here and kind of bow
and curtsy
and all that bullshit.
No, we're here to bring
the party alive.
- Do we understand each other?
- [Priscila] Yeah.
- [Marciano] Here, here.
- We're curators.
Exactly.
♪♪
Do you understand
what I'm saying?
I mean, like, as long as the
guests are happy, I guess.
Of course, it's not guessing.
What's annoying to me the most
is that Lisa is condoning
Eric's behavior.
It's frustrating for me because it just
makes him feel like it's okay
to keep doing what he's doing.
[Lisa] It's a very unusual experience
at Chateau Rosabelle.
It needs feel-good factor and
we're here to provide it.
So I'm really anticipating
nothing short of perfection from you.
- Are we in or not?
- [staff] Yes.
Okay.
[Eric]
Amen to that.
- [Emily] This way.
- [Grace] Yeah.
[indistinct chatter]
[Lisa]
Lauren's bachelorette party
is arriving at the Chateau
in the blink of an eye.
For their first activity,
we'll have badminton.
On day two, a decadent
Night in Versailles.
It's going to be beautiful.
Everybody's finding their level.
I just hope it can
stay that way.
♪♪
Eric.
[sighs]
[bouncy, upbeat music playing]
Eric.
[Lisa] I need somebody to
do some vacuuming.
Okay, we've gotta get moving.
Come on, giddy up! Let's go.
Well, have you got something
else to do? I can do it.
- Oh, [scoffs]. You can I got this.
- I can do it.
Heck, I've gotta sweep the floor,
I'm gonna sweep the floor.
If I have to get
down on my hands and knees
and bark like a dog, I will.
I need to get this shit done.
Go and get the dustpan.
- [energetic music playing]
- [Stephen] I need the dustpan.
[Lisa]
Such a mess.
I got the dustpan.
- [Lisa] Okay.
- [Stephen] Alright.
- Alright take that.
- I will take that.
- Would you like Donut back?
- Oh yeah.
[Stephen]
[laughs] Alright.
[Lisa]
All present and correct?
Please, let's be as successful
with these guests as we were
with the last ones.
- [calm music playing]
- [speaker] Uh-huh.
[staff greeting guests]
[Lisa]
Welcome to Chateau Rosabelle.
Hi, I'm Lauren.
Nice to meet you.
I chose to have my
bachelorette here
because all of my friends are
kind of all over the world.
Everyone that I surround myself
with has a big personality
but I think they'll
all get along
for the sake of me.
Well, cheers all of you.
Welcome to Chateau Rosabelle.
Let's go inside, shall we?
[excited chatter]
I did bring my fiancé,
that is a little unorthodox
but he was like,
"Why can't I come?"
[Eric] Alright everyone,
right this way.
[Lisa]
To the bar.
[Telly]
How are you guys doing?
- [guests] Good.
- [Telly] Great.
The guests are here for
the welcome drinks
before the Love Match event.
- [mischievous music playing]
- All I know is, at the Chateau,
- the guests get whatever they want.
- Yep.
[both snicker]
- Late night room service.
- Late night room service.
- Mm-hmm. [chuckles]
- Lip service, seduction.
- On a different planet.
- [Emily chuckles]
The guys are very excited
for the bachelorette weekend.
I think that they think
it's gonna go one way.
I really don't think it's
gonna go too well for them,
but we'll see.
♪♪
- Hi, Lisa.
- Hello, darling.
[birds chirping]
[Telly] Eric, those chairs
don't even go there, babe.
Where would you like 'em?
[Telly]
You're the manager.
[tense music playing]
[glasses clunk]
Careful.
I'm like, getting
a little frustrated.
I've worked at so
many restaurants,
at so many different lounges.
I've left about seven jobs.
My personality is so strong
and, like, I speak up a lot
and all the problems I have
and with being here,
I don't know if this
is the right fit
because I keep finding myself
in situations with my manager,
but I respect the owner so much.
Cheers to this being
a bachelorette party.
This is to us making sure
we curate that shit
- Thank you.
- and execute it.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
[dramatic music playing]
- [loud echoing thud]
- I would do a double, but not yet.
- Yeah, not yet.
- Yeah.
- Falls on us though.
- Right.
We can keep these handy though.
[Telly]
Lisa has made it very clear
that we are not allowed
to drink during work.
[Lisa] Anybody drinking out there?
Staff?
- Oh, uh
- [Telly] He's like, "Yeah, everybody."
[Lisa] Have any of
the staff been drinking here?
That's what I wanna know.
When Marciano gets drunk,
it's not cute
and I feel like maybe
Lisa, like, had a bad day
or someone slipped some
THC into her tea,
but I know there is no way
that she hired Eric
in a clear state of mind.
- [Eric] Do not touch anyone.
- Listen, you're
- End of the story. Take a break.
- You're an idiot.
- No, I'm not, I'm very smart.
- You're not. You're not.
- I am very smart man.
- You're wrong.
I'm gonna sit back and not let,
like, dumb and dumber bother me.
Like, at the end of the day,
it's none of my business,
but we'll see.
[dramatic crescendo]
[lively, dramatic
music playing]
[indistinct chatter]
Having a good time?
[Lauren]
Having the best time.
So how long have you
been together?
- Five years now.
- [Lauren] Almost five years, yeah.
- Where are you getting married?
- Australia.
Are you all going?
It's just family,
- it's 40 people.
- [quirky music playing]
[Brett] It's a little messed up
if you ask me.
- [music stops]
- [awkward silence]
Mm-hmm.
- [quirky music resumes]
- We do not think it right
to ask people to schlep
to Australia. Um
- [Lisa] Oh I think it's perfect. Yes!
- Do you think?
Anyone can come if they want.
- So now We have the invite now?
- You have the invite.
- [overlapping chatter]
- Andre's coming, Andre's coming.
- Andre's coming?
- Andre is coming.
Me getting the invite
before Brett
and this is her best friend?
♪♪
Let's just say
I'm good at my job.
[Lauren]
Everyone's the best.
[birds chirping]
Hannah and Gayle.
- [mumbles] Hannah and Gayle.
- [Eric] Okay.
[Marciano] The guests want me to
hang out with them and I want to
- [guests] Thank you.
- [Marciano] You're welcome.
Uh, do you wanna save
this for later?
- Oh, let's open it. Whatever.
- Let's open it now. Why not?
but I don't want any
issues with Hannah.
So, I have to remember,
do not [bleep] this up.
- Let's just leave it there.
- Oh.
- [Gayle] Yeah, always.
- Thank you. I appreciate it.
- Is this the dress you wanted to steamed?
- [guest] It's hers, yeah, yeah.
Marciano is very into
himself, very into, like,
his image and
how he's portrayed,
and I think that
Marciano is, like,
the scum on
the bottom of my shoe.
[guest]
Thank you so much.
- Thank you.
- Of course.
Oh my gosh, there's so
much to this right now.
- [bottle fizzling]
- I'm just gonna hold it down,
'cause that was a lot.
- [guests] Good job!
- [Marciano] Oh yeah.
[Gayle]
We didn't hear anything.
Some girls would think
that I-I'm-I'm saying this shit
and they're like, "Oh my gosh
he's totally flirting with me."
No, no, no, no, no, no,
don't think that.
Have some fun tonight, please,
'cause I would be dying
- to have some fun with you guys.
- Oh yeah, we're in it.
You guys look like a good time,
so I'm all for it.
I am just trying to do everything I can
for Chateau Rosabelle.
Doesn't matter whether it's massages,
rubbing someone down,
whatever to get that
comment card to say my name
so I can feel like
I belong here.
- [upbeat music playing]
- [guests laughing]
[Lisa] I know JP is
an excellent tennis player.
So, they're gonna have
a little love match.
They're not just playing
badminton,
the whole event,
with macaroons, with the cart,
is curated.
[Lauren] Wait, you get
one cheek, I get the other.
- Okay, ready? One, two, three.
- [Lauren] Oh no. [laughs]
Come on, Brett,
get it past that net.
Cocktail in hand.
- No!
- [laughter]
We need to regroup.
We need a team meeting.
- [Brett] Time out.
- [Lauren] Team Green, come on.
[Brett] It's really crazy that
we're even, like, here right now.
- You know?
- [Lauren] Wild.
You know, I feel like
we, like, lost touch
- and, like, got back in touch, you know?
- [Lauren] I know.
We were hanging out
and then you just stopped
- Yeah.
- and that was weird.
- [Lauren] I've been booked and busy.
- But that's an excuse.
[intense music playing]
- Is it when I met JP?
- Yes.
You took her away
and I consider you
someone who I'm so close to.
And the fact that you just,
like, shrugged your shoulders
and turned your back
was really wrong.
[Priscila] Should we leave
because this is personal?
Like, we just met. [laughs]
It's like, why are
you, you know,
talking about this
in front of us?
I don't know, I'm very happy
to be here, we reconnected but, like
- [Lauren] Yes?
- it's just I-I sometimes feel like
I'm victim number one
in all of this.
[intense music continues]
[Hannah]
This is so [bleep] awkward.
I'm holding onto the
edge of my seat,
like trying to, like,
tap Priscila.
I'm like okay, so now we know
who the drama is with, Brett.
He doesn't give a about Lauren
'cause I would never do that.
- [soft, upbeat music playing]
- [Lisa] Lauren's favorite jewels
are diamonds and pearls.
So we're having a
diamonds and pearls dinner
with baby's breath
around the glasses.
It's going to look
absolutely exquisite.
I want to make sure
the details are perfect,
so the bride has the
experience of a lifetime.
♪♪
[Stephen] Welcome back,
everyone. I missed you.
- [guests] Wow.
- [guest 1] This is gorgeous.
[Anthony] Hi everyone.
Bienvenue au Chateau Rosabelle.
- [guests] Hi.
- [Brett] Thank you.
[Anthony] So we start
tonight with
the Capri salad
and [indistinct].
After that we'll have a risotto,
mushroom risotto
with black truffle.
I've been very passionate
about food since I was a kid.
I want people to eat
with their eyes,
I really want to do artistic
on the plate.
Fortunately, working for Lisa,
she was like,
"You can do whatever.
We want the guests
to be happy."
I mean, one time in your life
you're gonna hear that
from your boss, you know?
So being able to do what I like
is a dream come true.
And we end up the dinner with
a panna cotta with
roses flavor and berry.
- Bon appetit, guys.
- This is amazing.
[Brett] Chef Anthony
knows what he's doing.
[Lauren]
He knows what he's doing.
[Brett] Like, he absolutely
knows what he's doing.
I don't know, I feel
like, there's, like,
a little bit of, like,
weirdness still.
What the [bleep] is this?
Like, is this guy serious?
- [plucky music playing]
- I don't know, I feel like we should all
kind of clear everything up
to enjoy the rest
of the weekend.
[laughs]
[Brett] And, like, I wanna just
celebrate Lauren
and I just wanna be here
- for all of us together.
- Make that everyone's good
so we can all celebrate me.
JP, how do you feel?
- [guest] And JP?
[Brett] I know which was, like,
weird in its own way, but
[Lauren laughs]
[Brett]I just feel like,
I don't know, I just
- [Gayle] At least everyone's
thinking it.
- [Brett]
Everyone is thinking it. I
And I'm the one who's
saying it here.
Like, I don't understand
why you're here.
[Marciano] This was literally like
watching reality TV right now
because I have nothing to watch.
It was like a [bleep]
sitcom out there right now.
[Gayle] We're here
enjoying this moment together.
- [Brett] 100%.
- [Gayle] Let's not ruin it for
- [Brett] No, no.
- [Hannah] Where is the tequila?
And bring No, bring
the whole bottle. I'm sorry.
- No, there's
- Okay. I can tell immediately. [laughs]
I have people coming
by taking bottles.
It's not settling right with me.
[Marciano] Let's turn this [bleep]
bachelorette party up.
[Eric] I know.
Throwing some alcohol
on any argument
is gonna do one of two things,
it's either gonna make
it 10 times [bleep] worse
or it's gonna make it
10 times [bleep] better.
I'm willing to find out
right now.
[excited chatter]
[Eric]
Let's do it.
- Let's do it, girl.
- [Lauren] I'll take it.
A bachelorette party is
an occasion for celebration.
It doesn't need to be so strict.
We are not here for a business meeting or
an anniversary.
This is an event
to let go and let loose
and get wild and freaking crazy.
- We won't go crazy, alright?
- Woo! Let's go!
[indistinct chatter]
It's not the occasion
for fine freaking wine
and all this other stuff.
- [Lauren] You don't like whisky?
- Here we go.
There we go. It's tradition,
come on.
Here we go! Why not, baby?
What a friend.
["Drink Up Come On"
by Mr. Kazzmatic playing]
- [group cheering]
- ♪♪
- [Eric] Damn right, baby!
- [Marciano] Woo!
[laughter]
That's not okay.
I'm trying to make,
like, elegant,
uh, delicate food
and I want these people to get
to the fine dining experience.
Like, this kind of behavior
in the front with a guest
is not acceptable for me.
We not a nightclub, you know?
Wh-What time is it? They're still working
right now.
- Oh, come on. Chill, babe.
- No, like you, you just,
- you joking, guys.
- It's okay, it happen in many places.
- [Anthony] No. I'm sorry, no.
- [Caroline] Oh, Anthony.
[Anthony] I don't care
what this is.
It's not what it's
supposed to be.
I don't give a shit.
You're still
on the shift, you know?
- [dramatic music playing]
- Like you do that in any other restaurant,
- you get fired for that.
- [Caroline] No, that's not true.
- Okay, then tell me
- If the guests offer you to have a shot.
You know what?
You don't do that, I'm sorry.
[Caroline] No, but you
can have a baby shot.
Like this?
- That's a baby shot?
- I mean that's a different story, but
You're supposed to, like,
uh, be, like, classy and elegant
and you do shot like they
[bleep] back in Las Vegas.
I know maybe they want to party,
but for me it was way
too far, way too fast.
You know, like,
I mean at that point,
I can serve, like,
chicken wings and burgers.
Exactly the same story,
you know?
[Eric]
Is everyone okay?
- [Anthony] I'm not, no.
- Tell me. Sorry.
[Anthony] I don't like the way,
like, you act with people.
I don't like the way
Like, we trying to create
an experience here, you know?
- We do.
- Like, I'm trying
We are providing a
bachelorette experience.
This is the first time
me and Chef Anthony
have really had a dispute,
and the guy is so rigid
and unbreakable,
which is great, but he
needs to be flexible.
You are the spine
of the Chateau,
but I'm the arms, the legs,
the hair and the
frickin' eyes, baby.
The toes, too.
So let me do my job and
I'll let you do yours.
- Do not shout. Do not shout.
- You're kitchen and we're table.
That's all I'm saying.
Your kitchen and we're table.
Okay, good,
I'll give your space,
but we're giving them
what they want.
- Alright, we good, we good. He
- Unless it gets lame out there
- He had a long day
- Okay, we have all had a long day.
- I understand, just give a break.
- We can do that? It's okay?
It's okay to drink like that
in front of customer? It's okay?
Come on, bro.
I tried to stay quiet
as much as I can,
but at some point,
you have to be mean, you know?
Where we work,
the [bleep] baron night club?
If it was my place,
my restaurant,
half of the staff would
have be fired already.
[Eric]
It's a bachelorette party.
[Marciano]
Yeah, of course.
It is what it is.
[tense, dramatic
music playing]
[lively music playing]
[Eric]
Can I be your shepherd?
[sheep bleats]
Shh. Let's go, come on.
It's day two of Lauren's
bachelorette weekend
and we have a lot
on our plate today.
We're throwing the guests an amazing
pampered pool party brunch
and everything has
to be perfect today.
[clicks tongue]
But unlike the rest
of the staff,
I like to get up early.
So this morning, I thought
I'd wake them up with a laugh,
you know, for team morale sake.
- [Hannah gasps]
- [sheep bleats]
[Hannah] What are you doing?
[gasps] What?
[Eric laughs]
- [Telly] What is it?
- He brought the sheep up here.
- What? No he didn't.
- [Telly] What are you talking about?
[Hannah]
What the [bleep], Eric?
I wake up to, like, Eric antics.
It was just like, can I just
have five minutes without him,
like, doing something ridiculous
and being, like, in my face?
The way he's acting
should not be tolerated.
[sheep bleats]
[Hannah]
Inside the house, Eric?
[Eric]
He went in on his own will.
[lively music playing]
Good morning!
In the fruit salad, do you think
I should put some mint in it?
- [Anthony] I like mint and rum.
- Mint and what?
[Anthony]
I put rum on the fruit salad.
[phone ringing]
Good morning, Chateau Rosabelle.
This is Eric.
There's a-a really
nice breakfast bar
I have set up at
the Rosabelle bar.
Alright, see you soon. Bye-Bye.
Alright, ah-ha.
Why are you late?
- [Telly] I'm not late.
- [Eric] Yes, you are.
Oh, no.
Hey, I'm doing your job,
that's why I'm asking.
[Eric] No, just don't
be late next time, please.
[tense music playing]
You should care.
Your guests should care.
You want to be on time for Lisa?
You wanna be on time for Lisa,
be on time for the guests.
No, you're on shift.
Don't be late. This is okay.
Second time, don't be late.
- I've been up since 6:30.
- That's cool! You were up at 6:30
playing with a sheep.
- [Eric] I got
- Like, shut the [bleep] up.
[Eric]
Look at your bar.
[Telly]
I was 10 minutes late,
but the moment you say,
"I'm doing your job for you,"
it's just been something
after something
where he doesn't respect
boundaries,
he doesn't listen,
he consistently makes
my job harder.
If you keep bothering me,
you keep poking me,
you keep poking me,
I'm gonna [bleep] erupt.
- I'm not saying
- No. The way you talk to me
- is disrespectful, end of the story.
- [Telly] Eric, get away from me.
[Hannah]
Hey guys, guys, stop.
I don't need to. I don't need to.
Respect me like I respect you.
I don't give a toss
what's going on right now,
as long as they keep it
away from the guests.
I did not come this far,
I did not work this hard
to have these little
whipper snappers screw it up.
[Telly] You don't
respect anybody.
You're 20 minutes late.
That's bullshit.
[Telly] That's why you're
[bleep] 36 and single.
- [plucky music playing]
- Come on.
Telly wants to make
this personal.
I don't want to make
this personal.
When I show up for a shift,
we can fight, we can scream,
we can argue, but at
the end of the day,
we're all living in
the same place.
Don't bring your personal
life into work.
Give me some respect.
- ♪♪
- Okay.
[intense music playing]
[Lisa] We've gotta really
focus because today is
a pampered pool spa day.
I know this group is
having some issues.
So what better way to
melt their cares away
than with massages
and manicures?
Because tonight
the marquee event
is a Night in Versailles
and I want the guests
to be calm and relaxed
for this decadent dinner,
which will be complete
with costumes.
[Stephen]
Good morning again, everybody.
So we have a few options
for you over here.
We've got two manicurists.
They're gonna make
your nails just perfect
for Versailles tonight.
And then we've got two masseurs.
We can do up to 20 minutes
massage of your choice
and they're gonna take
great care of you.
- [Brett] Thanks, Stephen.
- Let's do it.
♪♪
[birds chirping]
- [guest] Eric.
- [Eric] Everyone's doing good, yes?
[guest]
Can you feed me an olive?
[Eric]
Heck yeah, I'll do this all day.
[mischievous music playing]
Everybody is sitting down relaxing,
I'm like, "You know what?
Let's spice things up."
[Stephen] Oh God,
what's about to happen?
[cork pops]
- [Eric] Come on, let's go!
- [guests squeal]
- [guests cheering]
- [Eric laughs]
That's what we're talking about.
- Will you have this rose, please?
- [Lauren] Oh, my God,
- I will accept this rose.
- Take this rose.
- [guest] Thank you so much.
- [Eric] One for you.
Oh yeah, nice full one.
I'll take one while I'm at it.
Oh, every girl loves the
treat and the taste of tequila
and I turn it up a notch
and we start having fun.
That's what I do.
I am fun, alright?
I know exactly what I'm doing.
- Down low, down low, down low.
- Oh, my God.
[Eric]
There we go, get it.
- [guest] Delicious.
- You're up next, baby.
[Marciano] Thank God.
[upbeat music playing]
[sighs] I love my [bleep] job.
Marciano's on shift and
he's getting shirtless
and drinking and
Definitely not jealous
of any of those girls.
I'm just annoyed that the
job is being put on me.
I just feel like he's being
fake as [bleep]
and putting on a show.
[Eric]
Do it, yeah! Woo! [laughs]
[Telly] I just feel so
much, like, anxiety
and, like,
weight on my shoulders
because, like, I don't like
fighting with people.
I really hate when
I get that way.
Like, I don't want
to be that person
because I used to
be that person.
And that's why I try so hard
in my day-to-day life
to avoid people that can
bring that side out of me.
[solemn music playing]
[Gabriella]
Okay, okay.
I have to have a conversation
with Lisa.
I wanna go home, like,
I don't even wanna be here.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- [Lisa] What is it?
- [flies buzzing]
These flies are driving
me cuckoo bananas.
[Lisa] Well, a lot of things
are driving me cuckoo bananas.
I don't wanna react
off of emotion,
but I would much rather go home
than be poked and poked
and poked. I'm not expecting
- Who's poking people?
- Eric.
This is, like, the third time
he's done this to me.
This is the third time where I
have been in, like, an argument
I don't think anybody
does anything to you.
I think you give it right back.
I think you are strong,
if not stronger than any person
that's in this whole equation.
- I don't. I don't, I try to run away.
- Well
- I try to I'm-I'm so serious.
- No you don't.
If you were gonna run away,
you wouldn't be sitting here now.
[Telly] I always have the
tendency to quit jobs
and to duck and dive and
not tackle my problems.
[Lisa]
I care about you more than I do
about your position that
you're filling.
Care more about you being happy.
Darling, if you want
to go, it's fine.
It's up to you.
[intense music playing]
[intense music playing]
[Lisa]
Is it too much?
I don't know. I'm, like,
so conflicted.
♪♪
[Lisa]
Right now, it's up to you.
I can't just quit things
when they get hard.
So you don't want to go home?
- No. I just
- Say it to me.
I don't want to let Lisa down,
but most importantly,
I don't want to
let myself down.
I definitely feel like I'm
growing in this experience
in the sense that I'm
learning how to tolerate
and not run away.
[flies buzzing]
Whoo, these bugs.
You're not gonna make every
one of those people up there
behave the way you want.
To be honest,
it's not gonna happen.
Yeah.
Do you think all my staff
behave exactly
the way I want them to behave?
No. [snickers]
There you have it.
- Okay, I've got to go back to work.
- Alrighty.
[upbeat music playing]
[guests] Wow!
[Andre]
Oh, y'all look amazing.
The dinner tonight is
a Night in Versailles.
Cheers to our last night
and let's have a good time.
- [Andre] Let's have a good time.
- [guests exclaim]
[Lisa] The room is
so delicate and sumptuous.
[Lauren]
This is incredible.
[guest]
Oh, my God.
I mean they can't have
anything but a good time.
[overlapping excited chatter]
[Marciano]
Oh, look at who it is.
[excited chatter]
Well, it's the
Versailles dinner.
I want you to
leave Chateau Rosabelle
remembering these experiences.
As much fun as you can have,
as naughty as you can be,
- it's all welcome here.
- [Lauren] Yes.
[Lisa] And I expect a full
report tomorrow morning.
Bon appetit. Bonne nuit!
The guests have made an effort
and they're wearing costumes
and completing the vibe.
The dinner is very
specially curated.
It looks beautiful.
[calm, elegant music playing]
[slurping]
[mischievous music playing]
Yo, the party's boring again and
I don't know what
we're gonna do about it.
I was expecting some of
these girls to let loose,
be buck wild and regret
some of their decisions
because if it were me
and I'm getting married,
I'm gonna go [bleep] ham.
♪♪
[Eric] We'll turn 'em up,
I promise you that.
I'm gonna bring 'em out there.
Me and Eric are trying
to [bleep] curate and execute.
That's all I know.
[Gabriella] Hey guys,
are we ready?
[upbeat music playing]
- Are we going out back?
- Yeah.
[Lauren]
Alright, let's do it.
[Eric] It's so important
that our guests
have a memorable experience,
but everybody wants to
be boring it seems like.
It's just bullshit.
When I think of
a bachelorette party,
I think of women having fun,
being reserved,
but letting go a little bit.
So what? Flirt with the guys.
Look at art, like all of
us are art pieces, okay?
Marciano's a Greek God,
we got a big diesel
in the house, Andre,
we got Stephen, hey,
he doesn't swing the same side,
but it's all good,
and we got me, alright?
Enjoy us, work with us,
flirt with us,
I'll flirt back with you, okay?
That is a real
bachelorette party.
Oh, they're playing
a game already.
Take a seat, take a seat.
You guys put on a
Night in Versailles for us
and now we're putting on
Versailles After Hours for you.
[mischievous music playing]
Tonight, Grace and I both
knew we weren't gonna miss out.
We can actually hang out and
have fun with the guests.
[Brett] So what we're gonna do here
is we're gonna go around,
you're gonna pick a
card out of this basket.
You can either answer
the question
or you can take an
article of clothing off.
[bleep]
Like, I know this is
gonna fall apart. [laughs]
Like, I'm just so scared.
[indistinct chatter]
[Lauren]
"Who is the most dramatic?"
[Marciano] Oh, there's a
few answers on that one.
- [Andre] Oh shit.
- [Grace] Marciano.
- [Marciano] Ah, that's bullshit.
- [group cheering]
That's such bullshit.
- That's absolute bullshit.
- No, it's not.
[Hannah]
"Who is the most boring?"
Today, Gabriella.
[group] Oh!
[Gabriella]
I can take it.
What is happening?
[Stephen]
"Who slacks off the most?"
I'm not drunk enough for that.
Aww!
[laughter]
You're a pussy. You're a pussy.
"Who is secretly the kinkiest?"
- [laughter]
- [Hannah] Oh!
[Brett] If you don't
want to answer it,
you can take off
an article of clothing.
I'm gonna say me.
[group] Oh!
[overlapping chatter]
- [Lauren] I love that.
- Answer!
[chuckles] Woo!
"Who do you think does
not deserve to be here?"
[tense sting]
[insects chirring]
- [guest] We don't have all day, come on.
- [Marciano] Okay.
[dramatic music playing]
I know chefs that would
be out here right now
making sure your experience
was the best of all time.
- Marciano, I'm so
- It's not me hating on his craft.
- I'm so shocked.
- [guest] He loves his craft.
Why would you say that?
He could do better
on other shit.
Wow! Marciano,
he's a pure asshole
and he's very arrogant
and I think Marciano
wouldn't have a job
if it wasn't for the kitchen.
What would he serve?
What would he do?
I mean he's up at
6:00 a.m., guys.
Is anyone in the house up
at up at 06:00 a.m.?
Every-Every chef I know
- You're up at 6:00 a.m.?
- is working 16 hours a day, dude.
[Hannah] We all are up
[Marciano] Every chef I know
is working 16 hours a day.
Then why don't you do things
in the house if you up at 6:00 a.m.?
Why don't you go in the kitchen?
Help him?
'Cause it's not our job,
we don't have to.
- What do you mean?
- [crosstalk]
[Priscila]
[scoffs] What a fucking day.
I don't wanna get in any drama.
It's just too much
going on and when
Marciano say that,
it's like Chef Anthony's not
even here to defend himself.
So, that's not really fair.
- No, but Caroline, we do clean the dishes.
- I don't need to multitask.
- I don't need to multitask.
- We're doing that for you.
I helped you today.
Marciano is a douche bag.
He is self-centered,
he is entitled,
he's a 30-year-old man
who acts like a little bitch.
[Marciano]
There's nothing more to say.
I'm just telling you
that there could be more.
[intense music playing]
[Anthony]
Well, well, well, there we go.
The kings of the castle.
[Caroline]
What were you up to?
[dramatic music playing]
[Anthony] Marciano can say
whatever he want,
it's not gonna change my day.
You know? I still gonna
sleep at night.
This is not Vegas,
we are in France
and I will love people
to enjoy the French dining the way
it's supposed to be.
That's what I get mad about.
I don't need, like,
Marciano to approve anything.
Like, I don't wait for him to
be where I am today, you know?
So, good for you, bro.
♪♪
[Andre] Why you over here acting like
you can take whatever you want?
[Marciano] Well, I'm not,
I'm not going to
'cause I don't want to
get yelled at, so
[Grace] I think it's a little
late for that one.
[intense music playing]
What am I gonna get
yelled at for, Grace? Tell me.
- For being a piece of shit. For that.
- Why?!
I'm tired of doing,
like, the whole, like,
try to find the good
in Marciano.
No, I think that he's
a piece of shit,
I hate the way that
he disrespects the chefs,
I hate the way
he talks to women.
I'm gonna make something
very, very clear.
Yes please, oh my
[bleep] please.
I do not [bleep] with you.
- Okay, why? Tell me why.
- I think you're arrogant
- Okay.
- I think you're an asshole.
I think that your comment
about the chefs was disgusting.
- I could've said you.
- Say me, say me.
- I could've said you.
- I do not give a [bleep].
- But you know what? I could've said you.
- But saying them,
are you on crack?
- They get paid the most. So I said
- I don't give a shit,
- because they do the most [bleep] work.
- You don't unders
- You're right, they do.
- They do!
So why the [bleep] would you
say something like that?
They should do more.
They don't do enough. That's it.
They do more, but you're out there
taking shots by the [bleep] pool?
You don't understand. Have you worked in
a nice restaurant before?
- No, I'm a [bleep] housekeeper!
- Okay, exactly!
- I clean up people's shit!
- So you don't work at a nice restaurant.
- I clean up people's shit.
- You don't work at a nice restaurant.
- Okay, then.
- Okay?
- So go clean up people's shit.
- You have no [bleep] idea.
- [bleep] you. [bleep] you.
- You have no idea, you don't know shit.
What the [bleep], Marciano?
[Marciano] You're [bleep] 23 years old.
You're a little spoiled brat.
- You and you're 30 years old.
- You're a spoiled brat.
And you are 30 years old
acting like a piece of shit!
[bleep] you.
God, I [bleep] hate him.
♪♪
Marciano can suck my [bleep].
[Lisa]
Next, on Vanderpump Villa
- I don't want do this.
- Just say it.
[Hannah]
Who the [bleep] just does that?
[sobbing]
Marciano, it wasn't acceptable.
Marciano, you're a piece of shit,
get the [bleep] out.
It's affected the whole
dynamic between the group,
and I just don't have the
confidence that I did have.
Sometimes, you have to have
a consequence.
[dramatic sting]
[shaky breaths]
[Telly]
I just moved to LA.
I literally lived
there for a week
before I came here,
so I know nothing.
[quirky music playing]
So I worked at this like,
really popping spot,
don't know how I got the job,
and I made a lot of,
like, strawberry, mango,
passion fruit, lemon drops.
Eventually it, like, got raided
by the police and shut down.
And I'm like, I'm not
going to jail for anybody.
Does Telly do anything else
besides talking about her life?
[Telly]
I really like bourbon smashes.
I graduated high school early.
I definitely, like, don't have,
like, a look type.
- No.
- I'm a Virgo.
I'm an August Virgo.
[intriguing theme
music playing]
[music fades out]