We Are Lady Parts (2021) s01e04 Episode Script

1
My powers of destruction
had reached dizzying heights.
Lady Parts would not play
Sound Smash on account of my─
- Play something.
- Amina, come on.
I, the unwilling saboteur,
had carpet bombed
everything the band
had wanted.
I didn't deserve to be
a part of Lady Parts.
They weren't the only ones
I had let down.
I would never just leave
your party, FYI.
It was my engagement party,
Amina.
- And you just disappeared.
- Sorry.
I couldn't tell Noor
the real reason I left.
But I wanted to tell her
something true.
- He doesn't like me.
- What?
Ahsan, he's─
he's just not into me.
- He what?
- It's over.
I mean, it never really
was anything.
So.
Babe.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I just ruin everything.
For Lady Parts.
For Noor.
I should just wear a sign,
"ruiner of lives."
Dreams dashed,
back to the grind.
They dystopian monotony.
The symphony in grey.
Excuse me, sir.
Would you like to─
The grind.
A concerto of the mundane.
The grind.
Grinding you down into a soft
powder of pure, uncut rage.
Only Momtaz refused to accept
our audition failing.
She was going to put
Lady Parts on the map,
no question about it.
Her modus operandi?
Incessantly posting
band-related content.
A call to the masses.
A movement
for radical transformation.
An entreaty to change
the world one chord at a time.
- Please like and subscribe.
- Hmm.
One thing was clear.
The band was better off
without me.
My place was here
among the algae.
- Ah!
- Sorry!
- Sorry, I just─
- Hi.
Sorry.
Hi, hello.
God, you can't just walk
from the shadows
like some creepy axe murderer.
Well, that's a step up
from male escort, right?
- So this is the lab, huh?
- Mm-hmm.
It's very lab-y.
Test tube.
Classic.
I'm sorry
the gig didn't go as planned.
Ayesha told me.
Just wanna check you're okay.
Yeah, I'm all right.
Considering I single-handedly
dismantled everything
they had been working for.
Wow.
You've got
some nerve being here.
Oh, hi.
Yeah, I was just going.
Leading girls on.
What is that?
Some sort of sport for you?
No.
Yeah, no, sorry.
Listen, she might look
desperate, but she's not.
She's a strong
independent woman.
And you are a sad,
pathetic little man.
Yeah, that's exactly
what my mum said.
Sorry.
Bye.
It's actually chilling
how vile he is.
Yeah.
Chilling.
Ahsan had done his duty
as my fake man.
And here I was,
back on the shelf.
There was only
one matter outstanding.
Alas, dear vessel
of creative life.
I release you
from my quaking unworthy hands.
May you find solace elsewhere.
- Saira?
- Mm-hmm?
Sorry. I um─
I wanted to apologise
for, like,
messing up the audition
and crushing your dreams.
I─I wanted to return Fabio.
- Fabio?
- I mean, your guitar.
- Is that what you want?
- I can't play with you.
You saw me.
I─I can't perform.
You froze.
You didn't puke.
That's progress.
If you wanna be in the band,
I will do everything
in my power to help you
get over your anxiety.
Only if you want it.
- Why would you help me?
- I don't know.
I think you're good.
I can't believe
she didn't tell me.
Having a sister
is the kind of thing
you tell people
you're close to.
Look, I'm not saying
that Saira's not great, man.
I'm just saying
come along tonight.
Meet Layla.
You'll like her.
She's always asking about you.
She is serious.
Allow Saira.
No.
Don't allow Saira.
Just give her space.
She'll come around.
Come on.
She barely considers him.
She didn't tell him
about her dead sis.
She always puts the band first.
Cut and run, bro.
Cut and run.
So, just so I'm fully clear
on what you have just said.
You have just said, in front
of our female child no less,
if a woman puts her work
before a man,
it is reason enough to,
as you put it, "cut and run"?
Uh─no, no.
No, I mean─
you have
done it brilliantly, babe.
You've got the family unit
and the art both co-existing
in happy symbiosis.
- Right?
- Mm.
Daughter, I think we should
depart from this place
before we choke on the fumes
of this toxic masculinity.
Okay.
Bye, Papa.
- Bye uncle Abdullah.
- Bye, baby.
See you later.
Mm-mm.
Look, come along tonight,
yeah?
Meet Layla.
You'll like her.
Come to your poetry night?
It's not really my scene.
It is a spoken word
evening, actually.
Why are we stopping?
Excuse me.
I didn't ask for an Uber pool.
Oh, I think you did, sir.
The system
gets confused sometimes.
- 'Sup.
- Hey.
- Yo, yo, yo, my people.
- Do you know these people?
- No, man.
- Check it out.
This is the woman
who's gonna put us on the map.
- I am a woman of colour.
I seek
to elevate women of colour.
I advocate for women of colour.
I create for women of colour.
My God.
Turn that shit off, man.
- I'm gonna be sick.
- It's annoying,
- but I appreciate the sentiment.
- Who is this sociopath?
This sociopath is Zarina Zee.
The influencer who retweeted us
and kindly directed
some much needed
online traffic our way.
She wants to meet us.
So we gotta show her
we dig her vibe.
Ultimate fan girls.
Excuse me.
I am very late.
Chill, Winston.
Saira's offer to help had
left me with a choice.
Did I want to be in the band?
I can't deny,
it did feel quite good.
- I'm devastated for you.
- What?
- Ahsan.
- Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Sure, we had
the occasional disagreement.
- She's dead!
- Some men are just dogs.
I heard he only dates
white girls.
- Oh.
- Typical.
But somehow,
it just felt right.
- Wow.
- Thank you all
for holding space with me.
I just─I'm sorry.
I need to─I forgot to check
on my fungal growth
in the lab.
Experiment.
We need to impress her.
So please behave.
Do you reckon her face
is frozen in, like,
a constant pout?
Like, "Hey, guys.
Welcome to my channel.
Like and subscribe."
Yeah, do you reckon
she'll orgasm
if I double tap her
on the forehead?
Stop it.
Okay. So she should be
here somewhere.
And there she is.
Hey.
When I saw that video,
I was, like, dead.
Like, actually dead.
Such strength and sisterhood.
You guys are serving up
a real feminine power
that has me,
like, actually dead.
- Appreciate you.
- Too kind.
Your feminine power has us
actually dead too.
Aw, thanks, hun.
So then, I was desperate
to meet you guys.
Because obvs, you guys
are queens, and I'm a big fan.
We're fans of you, queen.
Anyway, as the new
culture editor
of Yellow Tongue Magazine─
I know, humble brag,
humble brag, humble brag─
I would like my first main
feature to be on you guys.
On Lady Parts.
Fuck no.
Yellow Tongue?
No.
That is some bottom
of the barrel shit.
It's the most
read online publication.
Most read online publication,
or most clicked?
That's some real bourgeois
snobbery for a Marxist.
Let's see.
"Yellow Tongue."
Ooh, here's a hard-hitting
piece.
"Legoland on Acid."
Ooh, a quiz.
What percentage sex pest am I?
Yeah, so it's got some lower
brow stuff for the punches,
but it does great journalism.
Like that series on burgeoning
music scenes
in war-torn countries.
"Sex, Drones, and Rock n Roll."
It was legit.
And Zarina is the real deal.
If you'd met her, you'd get it.
It's possible,
but Amina pretty much
quit the band today.
Forget Amina.
She's done her bit.
She auditioned with us.
It didn't work out.
Still, no lead guitarist,
no band.
No band, no damn interview.
I wanna be in the band.
I want to play.
Yes!
Feels so good to say it.
Whoo!
I'm in.
- Sick.
- Looks like we have a band.
- I'm setting up the interviews.
- Yeah, yeah, whatever.
We're gonna fix you.
Kick this stage fright
- once and for all.
- Great.
How?
Saira's plan
was simple, yet terrifying.
I, Amina Hussain,
would conquer my anxiety
through the medium of poetry.
I sip the blood
from your red lips.
Sip.
Sip.
S─
Abdullah is full
of charm and quirk.
You'll love him.
Everyone does.
And yeah, it's not usual
for him to be late.
He'll be here soon.
The real slim shady
has a foot fetish.
The real slim shady
is harbouring
feelings of inadequacy.
I didn't think
I could do this.
- Saira, I can't do this.
- Why not?
My poem, it sucked.
My poem, it sucks.
- It doesn't matter.
- I was freaking out.
I think I'm freaking out.
Good.
Feel the fear.
Really feel the fear
and do it anyway.
- Move through it.
- What?
The revolution
will not be circumcised.
Oh.
Thank you.
Um, please, next up,
can we have Saira?
Um─Saira!
Didn't know you were
gonna be here.
So?
'Sup.
Yeah, I'm Saira.
I'm gonna speak some words.
These words aren't mine.
They were written by
Faiz Ahmed Faiz.
My granddad's favorite poet.
So, yeah.
I wanna dedicate this
to a new friend.
Speak,
for your two lips are free.
Speak,
for your tongue
is still your own.
This straight body
still is yours.
Speak,
your life is still your own.
See how
in the blacksmith's forge,
flames leap high
and steel glows red,
padlocks opening
wide their jaws.
Every chain's
embrace outspread.
Time enough is this brief hour.
Until body and tongue lie dead.
Speak,
for truth is living yet.
Speak,
whatever must be said.
There he is.
Damn.
Okay.
Are you gonna introduce us?
Ah.
Let's move on, shall we?
Next up, we have Amina.
- Do we have an Amina?
- Here.
Go on.
You can do this.
I'm right here, okay?
- Abdullah?
- Yeah.
Layla.
Hi, how are you doing?
Feelings are like flowers.
They bloom.
They wither.
They
Perish.
Sorry.
This is─sorry, I─sorry,
I don't think I can do this.
Look, I just─I'm just trying
to play─
play, you know, play
in a band.
A band.
Mad.
Mad, right?
Bu─but I can't.
I keep─I keep─I keep─
This.
Basically.
But I really like it.
The band, it's like
Godzilla.
I─I mean, I think um
after she destroys the city.
Really calm,
mindful she must feel.
I don't know, I don't know.
I mean, I─I think, "Godzilla."
You know what?
I─I really like it.
I just─I just─I just─I
just─I just─mm.
I don't want
to puke anymore.
Okay?
I just want to play.
Whoo!
- You did it.
- I did?
Yeah.
Now we're getting somewhere.
Let's get out of here, huh?
Okay.
Sure.
Saira, it's not
what you think.
Saira.
Saira.
Saira, wait.
I don't know who she is.
I mean, her name's Layla.
I've never met her before.
Wasim wanted me to meet her.
- I─I didn't─
- It's cool, it's fine.
- Yeah, it's nothing.
- It wasn't working out
with us anyway, was it?
So let's call it.
Noble effort, yeah?
Wait.
Saira.
Saira, seriously?
What the fuck?
Saira!
You were fucking amazing.
Amazing.
Thanks for your help.
So who was that guy?
My boyfriend.
- Well, was.
- What?
My fucking boyfriend.
Fuck!
Just back off.
You wanna waterboard me
about it?
Fuck.
Sorry.
Do you wanna stay at mine?
- Stay at yours?
- Mm-hmm.
What, like a sleepover?
My mum never let me
go to sleepovers.
Yeah.
Sleepover.
Why not?
Could be fun.
- You're in a punk band?
- Yes, Ma.
Vah!
And you haven't been─
- Mm-mm.
- Or─
Well, Saira's actually
helping me
get over my stage fright, so.
Well, alhumdulillah.
Thank you, Saira.
Thank you, Saira.
It's no problem.
This is so exciting.
Oh, you know,
I met Don McLean, hmm?
- Well, when I was in Washington.
- Yes, Baba.
- No one cares.
- Oh.
Why didn't you tell us?
"Lady Parts."
Great name.
Hey, it's Abdullah.
Leave a message.
Yeah.
Hey.
Um it's me.
Hope you're having
a nice evening?
I just─
Her name is Ruksana.
My big sister.
But she made everyone call her
Roxy 'cause she hated her name.
I thought Roxy was
pretty stupid too.
But she liked it.
She was 16
when she died.
Leukaemia.
Okay, this is weird.
Sorry.
Message deleted.
Ugh!
Yes.
Was he right?
- Uh-huh.
- Give me a high five, man.
That was it.
Morning.
- Hey, little baby.
- Oh, Amina, Amina, Amina.
Taz's influencer person
has got us a gig tonight.
Tonight?
You've got this.
Hmm?
- Mm?
- Mm-hmm.
Maybe Saira was right.
After all, last night
I had performed poetry
without excretions
of any sort.
I was ready for anything.
But not for this.
- Fuck me.
- We're fucked.
Taz, what is this?
Shit.
Okay, I didn't know
it was this kind of place.
We've just set up
in the back.
- Isn't it perfect?
- Perf, totes perf.
- It's not really our scene.
- Exactly.
"Lady Parts
takes on racist Britain."
These people aren't
necessarily racist.
Guys, I think
I'm experiencing fear.
Give us a song then,
sweetheart.
Your husband let you out of
the house tonight, did he?
I felt like we were
in the firing line
ready for our court martial.
Boo.
We are Lady Parts.
Here's a little something
we thought you might like.
Fucking waste of my time.
Bloody hell.
Tumble out of bed,
and stumble to the kitchen ♪
Pour myself a cup
of ambition ♪
And yawn and stretch
and try to come to life ♪
Jump into the shower
and the blood starts pumpin' ♪
Out on the streets,
the traffic starts jumpin' ♪
For folks like me,
on the job from nine to five ♪
Workin' nine to five ♪
They hated us.
But nothing bothered Saira.
She was unfazed.
It was kind of cool.
Time for my solo.
Time to play.
Come on, hands.
Come on!
Ah!
Yay!
Amina!
Yes, Amina!
It was happening.
I was playing!
Oh, my God.
- Yay!
- Yeah!
Whoo!
They let you dream
just to watch them shatter ♪
You're just a step on the
boss man's ladder ♪
But you got dreams
he'll never take away ♪
Turn it in, will ya?
On the same boat
with a lot of your friends ♪
Waiting for the day
your ship will come in ♪
The tide's gonna turn
and it's all gonna ♪
Roll your way ♪
Working nine to five ♪
What a way to make a living ♪
Barely gettin' by ♪
It's all taking,
and no giving ♪
It's a rich man's game ♪
No matter what they call it ♪
- Boo!
And you'll
spend your life ♪
Putting money
in his wallet ♪
Yeah!
We had done it.
We had performed.
We were a real band.
A proper live band.
True, the crowd
weren't exactly going wild.
But this was a victory,
and the only way was up.
Or so we thought.