Wedding Season (2022) s01e04 Episode Script

1
We are looking for two suspects,
Katie McConnell and Stefan Bridges.
I am a wanted fugitive.
I don't understand why
she would say she loves you though
and then kiss me.
- You are so getting laid tonight.
- You are so confusing.
Whatever she's got going on,
don't get mixed up in it.
- What are you doing?
- I'm trying to get into this laptop.
- What for?
- None of your biz.
- None of my biz?
- Okay, done.
The Delaney family
aren't what they seem.
Stefan, is that you? Where are you?
- Who are you?
- My name is Conrad.
And I'm her husband.
Hey, hey!
I'm not a very big speech guy.
And you all complain
about my accent anyway,
so I'll keep this short.
- What did you say?
- Fuck you, too.
I didn't think I'd be here.
I didn't want to get married, I thought.
What's that Nina Simone song,
Marriage Is For Old Folks?
You cunts probably don't know it
'cause it's not by fucking Skrillex.
But one day,
I realized that I was very wrong
because I met Keira.
And I knew in that moment
that I wanted to marry her.
And so I just asked.
And she said yes.
And that made me
the happiest man in the world!
But not for very fucking long,
I can tell you.
Keira Dunmore.
That's what I thought
her name was when I married her.
Now she's Katie McConnell. Katie.
Katie. I like that.
Did I miss you telling me
you had a first husband, Katie?
How did you find us, Conrad?
Uncle Fred tipped you off?
Who the fuck is Uncle Fred?
What are you talking about?
Your men in the vans,
the ones chasing us.
You think I have men in vans?
No, man, I fucking wish.
- But I better know who they are.
- Oh, yeah?
The Block.
You will meet them soon enough.
- So, this your latest victim, then?
- I'm not anybody's victim.
That's what you think, pal.
Remember July 10th?
What happened then, mate?
You know what, I'm sorry,
my diary is in my other trousers.
Fuck me. Jesus! Wait, wait.
Okay, a stag do.
Alright, I organized a stag do.
My friend Anil's, yeah.
- Strippers and coke, all that?
- Well
I just I love her so much.
Like, even though
I'm gonna see her tomorrow,
even when we're on this, like,
this wild, crazy night,
like, I actually miss her,
you know what I mean?
Like what if she doesn't
want to marry me?
She is marrying you,
and you hit the jackpot.
No, no, no.
Like what if she's just like
going along with it?
She's not excited about it.
Seems very excited about the hen do!
I've seen the stripper that Suji booked.
A torso you could eat
your fucking dinner off.
I think you forgot to
been in a relationship
before you can weigh in on others.
I had a second date this week.
- A second?
- Second.
Be dead inside, like the rest of you soon.
- I wish I was dead inside and outside.
- Shut up and drink.
Hey, have you seen
the pictures of my little girl?
Oh! She's cute.
- Stefan, Stefan?
- Yes, the baby.
It is the same baby.
That bitch met him.
You guys wanna meet the gang?
- I think I swallowed the coin.
- Okay, let's get you home.
You're gonna survive
that picnic tomorrow.
Please, man. Don't send us all home.
I have three kids under five. I need this.
I know a place, Nathan.
Are you allergic to latex?
- Take me home.
- Okay.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Hi!
- Okay!
Um, so, right. I had to pick up
a couple of things on the way.
So what do we got here?
- Uh, right, a bride-to-be badge.
- Awesome.
- Right?
- Yeah.
- And of course a tiara.
- Very nice.
This next piece,
it's part of this old British tradition
goes back to pagan times,
where No, it's a dick on a stick.
- Yeah, I can see that.
- Yeah, there it is.
- Very impressive.
- That's for you.
So no, you go. You do it.
Me do? Me do it. Okay.
So, how have you been?
How have I been?
Since we shimmied along a hotel balcony,
and then puffed in the linen closet
and then I told you
I was getting married anyway.
So we broke off whatever this was.
- Yeah, since then.
- Pretty good.
Okay.
We don't have to do the
whole small talk thing.
Thank God!
So, why are you
all alone on your hen do?
Mary Delaney was meant to be
taking me to Vegas.
Vegas? You're shitting me.
That sounds exhausting.
Yeah. She canceled on me last second.
And
what about your other friends?
I don't know. I guess, I'm just a
really hard person to be friends with.
Wow! Yeah, honestly,
apart from the danger and the mystery,
and the very, very mixed messages,
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Sure.
Okay, what do you want to do?
I mean, we can do anything.
Karaoke? Arts and crafts? An Escape room?
Well I did have one idea.
Vegas baby!
Look, look, look, look.
I'm the king of the world!
Hey.
Hey, are we meeting you there?
Wait, meeting you and what?
It's the picnic.
The stag and hen do picnic, Stefan.
Where is it?
No one's seen you all morning,
where are you?
You didn't go to Jackson's fuck-rave thing
or whatever that
Stefan! I haven't been to sleep!
You know, it's okay.
We don't have to do it.
Of course, we do. Of course, we do, okay?
So, see you there, yeah?
Actually Oh, shit. That's bad.
Hello? Hello?
- Have you got a phone charger?
- No, you don't need one, you're in Vegas.
- Hey. You okay?
- Yeah.
You are far from okay.
We should get the forensics
back from the diner by lunch,
but I'm not hopeful I'll find anything.
Yeah, I know, me neither!
If we try to go back
to the Superintendent
without any kind of lead,
I think he might actually strangle
Are you smelling my pillow?
No, I was actually
That's alright, it's okay
to be obsessed with me, Donahue.
No, it's just, I was
All I'm gonna say is,
I was looking forward
to giving yours a good smell
when you showered.
Oh, I guess
Guess we're on the same page now.
You idiot.
Metts.
Right, yeah, hang on.
Can you read that out?
Yeah. No, you did the right thing.
Yeah, we'll look into it.
- That was Leila.
- The lawyer.
Stefan Bridges called her last night
from a pay phone. Glasgow area code.
Well, let's go the fuck to Glasgow, then.
Is this what you're doing now?
Woodworking?
Furniture making.
I learned when I was inside.
Nice. That's really cool.
I fucking hate it.
Fucking splinters.
But no one will work with me anymore,
because of you, Keira,
or Katie whatever the fuck.
No one will work with you, what?
You blacklisted from being a criminal?
- Yeah, man. Is that funny to you?
- No.
I fucking am. Because of her.
- What did she do to you?
- Get back to Vegas, fuck knuckle.
Okay, so what are you going to do first?
- Poker?
- How about blackjack?
Okay, I don't really
know the rules though.
Don't worry, I'll help you.
Just gotta make sure you look the part.
- Yeehaw!
- Partner!
Hit me.
Stick me.
- Oh, my God!
- That's a win!
Beginners luck!
Oh, no!
Remember, one tap is stick,
two taps is head.
Yeah!
Oh, my God!
Yes!
Yes!
First time!
Oh, thank you.
You really thought you were just lucky
Fuck! She was cheating you, asshole.
Technically, counting cards
isn't cheating. You know that.
Well, if we found someone doing it
when we work together,
what would we do?
Hang on, you used to work together
in Vegas?
- Would call security.
- And what would security do?
- Fuck! Hey, hey
- Most casinos, the smart ones,
flag any player who is winning
more than statistically probable.
Keep going.
- Yes! Yes!
- Yeehaw! Told you. I told you.
Security is lightest in the early morning,
especially around the shift change
between three and four.
- Do it!
- Guards.
But a potential card counter
is enough of a priority
that they drop what they're doing
and look into it.
Shark, Table 19.
Bring a black cowboy hat.
Hey, where are you going?
Well, I'm just going
to the little girl's room,
a little tinkle, you take care of him.
Let's keep going. Come on,
I can't stop now.
Wait, wait. Did you know
what would happen to me?
Come on, beat that.
Yes! Oh, my God!
I keep doing it. I keep winning!
Oh, come on.
Cough it up. Cough it up.
- Sir?
- Yes.
We need to speak with you.
Okay.
There you are.
Come on.
Whoa! Hey, hey.
Don't you guys need a warrant,
or something?
I fucking love it!
So you asked me to Vegas
as a diversion? To get me beaten up?
- No.
- Was it worth it?
What you took?
What did you take?
- I can't tell you that.
- We're about to die! What does it matter?
How the fuck do you know
any of this anyway?
You've not been in Vegas for
Since the four years
I've been inside an American prison?
The prison you put me in?
Is that what you're gonna say?
You want to know how I know?
This is how I fucking know.
- Jesus!
- Two men came to me yesterday.
They said they're working for
an organization called The Block.
They knew you and I were married.
Said you'd been up to your old tricks.
Stealing from our old workplace,
getting married,
killing a family of fucking plutocrats.
They wanted to know
if I knew where you were.
And I said I would never help you.
But they still pulled
my teeth out to be sure.
I had the last laugh, though.
Jesus! Fuck!
He's dead. He's dead.
They knew about you and me?
Oh, I'm sorry, you not freaking out
at the dead body that he killed?
But it just meant I was even more fucked!
A dead man.
That's why I went back to that club
to see how many of the fuckers
I could take out with me,
and lo and behold, my wife was there.
And suddenly, I had a lifeline.
Trust me mate, you're gonna need
one of those when she's around.
- Hey! Leave him alone!
- Mind your goddamn business.
- Hey, don't you dare touch him again.
- You want some too?
- Do you know who I am?
- Don't know, don't care.
- I'm Mary fucking Delaney.
- Am I supposed to know who that is?
- Shut up, man.
- My daddy owns this place, you swats.
Fuck
Why are you still standing here? Go! Go!
Go!
Oh, my God. You just experienced
my impeccable British accent.
- Was that what that was?
- You're welcome.
- Here, let me help you.
- Thank you, I'm so confused, though.
Well, Hugo's family owns this place.
That's why Mary wanted to bring me here,
because she's insanely cheap
for a rich person.
- Okay.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, kind of.
- Alright, let's get you out of here.
No, wait, wait. We can't leave.
I just got my ass kicked
outside a Vegas casino,
I feel like George Clooney.
Or you're looking like Matt Damon.
- I'll take that also.
- Come on, let's go.
Sparkle dress. Where the fuck is she?
It's the first rule of gambling, Stefan,
you quit while you're ahead.
How are we ahead?
- There's a flight home at 11.
- No, no, no.
- Yes.
- I've been on a flight for ten hours,
okay, I don't want to go back
to the airport
before seeing some of Vegas.
Hey!
- We got to go.
- What?
- Run.
- Oh, God!
What are you doing?
Watch your step. Go, go, go.
- Why are they chasing us?
- I don't know.
Sorry.
If you piss off The Block,
no gang will work with you.
You're basically blacklisted.
I still don't understand, he'll be
blacklisted from being a criminal?
Shut up!
I wanted back in.
And now I've killed one of their guys.
The only way to get back
in their good graces
is to give them
the person that they most want.
You.
- You know they'll kill me.
- I know.
And that makes me very sad.
I mean, I couldn't kill you myself.
You're still the most beautiful person
I've ever met, Keira.
But also
you fucking deserve it.
Well, darling
it's been good
to catch up with an ex, but
I'm gonna call The Block now.
Get my life back.
You better say your goodbyes.
Now, we don't have an angle
on their car near the club,
or the pay phone where
your call was made from,
but we just see this guy.
His name is Conrad Lennox.
Career lad, links to organized crime.
Arrest records in Manchester,
and the United States.
- Where in United States?
- Las Vegas, Nevada.
Our suspects were there
just a few weeks ago.
Not sure where he's been living, but he
has a business registered to this address.
- Well, what are we waiting for?
- Cheers.
Hey, hey.
Stefan, don't let him turn you against me.
I'm not. You turned me against you.
Look, The Block, or whoever
- They almost run
- Stop, stop, stop. Stop, Katie, stop.
I can't trust you. How could I trust you?
- I don't think I ever trusted you.
- But you wanted to marry me.
That's confusing.
Over here.
You my 7:45?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Then hurry the fuck up,
it's nearly my break.
- Changing rooms are through there.
- Sorry, changing rooms?
- Anyone else coming?
- Nope, just us.
Okay.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here
to watch these two bozos do their thing.
- You got a prenup, man?
- No.
Mistake number two. Okay, vows time.
Okay, Stefan, I think you're hot.
I take you to be my husband,
because I really need to, right now.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- Dope, your turn buddy.
- Can we like, do the standard vows?
No, man. This is the highlight
of your miserable life so far,
now, say something
to do this beautiful lady justice.
- You even want to get married?
- Yeah, no. I do.
I have always
actually wanted to get married. But
Hey, hey, you look beautiful.
- Okay, speak from the heart.
- Right.
I Yes, I have
always wanted to get married
- to so many, many people.
- Yeah.
Pretty much every I've been
in a relationship with, actually.
So, it was like
a vacant position or something,
no, it was like I want to marry someone
I just didn't seem to care who that was.
And
and then I met you.
And you're the first person
where I don't want to marry you
because I want to get married.
I want to marry you because
I want to spend all of my time with you.
- Have you guys seen a couple?
- Hey, what are you doing?
You're interrupting
some motherfucking nuptials! Security!
Oh, come on.
- Okay, come on.
- Listen.
Hey, get the fuck out of here, man.
I don't come to your job
to stop you from being an asshole.
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
Please.
Okay, let's wrap this up.
By the power vested in me
by the Nevada State Gaming Commission,
I
Yo, it's not valid unless I
- Oh no, we don't have to do all that.
- Well, I mean, we can stay.
What? And make this legal?
There's a shit ton reasons
why that's a bad idea.
But thank you, Prince.
Cheers, Prince.
I can't believe
this is my point of no return.
You being accused of eight murders,
eight, apparently,
wasn't enough of a warning sign for me.
So, I don't have
- Stefan.
- How the hell did you do that?
- Blocks are on their way, darling.
- Fuck! I don't have time.
Katie!
If I don't get out,
then we are both fucked.
I'll be back as soon as
I'll get help.
You can't leave me here.
He's insane, and has a gun.
- I'm gonna miss you, Katie.
- Trust me. I will be back. I promise.
Katie! Katie! Katie!
No, Katie! Katie!
Come on, Katie! Katie!
Motherfucker!
Where is she?
999, what's your emergency?
Hello!
- I like you, Stefan. I do.
- You do?
Yeah, man.
You know, in some ways, you're the only
one in the world who understands me.
Yeah, man.
Especially now that
Hugo Delaney fucker is died.
Those arseholes, by the way,
bigger criminals than I'll ever be.
You and me, man, we both know
what it's like to be betrayed by Keira.
Or Katie, whatever the fuck
her name actually is.
You know that pain.
And the way we fixate on it.
Actually, I don't know if that's how
We'd have a lot to talk
about over a beer, pal.
Yeah.
- But I'm still gonna kill you.
- Oh, my God.
Any last words?
Please don't kill me.
Oh, fuck.
Armed Police! Drop your weapon!
Oh, shit!
Suspect down! Suspect down!
Hold your fire! Hold your fire!
No, no, no, no, no!
Thank you.
I never thought
I'd be glad to see you guys, thanks.
You're very much under a fucking arrest.
Oh, shit. Hang on.
- Hello?
- Stefan? You're alive.
Oh, my Jesus fucking Christ, Stefan.
- Where have you been?
- I'm sorry
We were sure you were dead
in a canal or something.
We were literally
about to call the police.
No, no, I'm fine, I'm sorry,
I just I left my phone charger,
and things have been a bit mad.
Left? Where did you go?
I'm in Las Vegas.
But I'm on my way home.
Yeah.
Yeah, you know Katie, you remember Katie,
she was having her hen do, and
Yes, Stefan, you should know this.
I'm not going to tell Anil
about where you've been.
I'm gonna let you do it.
And you will do it, you understand?
Yeah. Yeah, of course.
And it might break his heart a little bit.
He's been so fucking worried
about you, Stefan, we all have.
And he's been sad
that you bailed on his stag weekend
- that you were meant to be organizing.
- Well, technically
And never in a million years
did I think this was the reason
that you weren't there.
I'm really, really sorry.
You've spent so much of your life
doing this, Stefan,
putting the people actually care about
you, second to some girl you're chasing.
- Hey.
- And this one, she's different.
I know her type. She's bad news.
And she might actually get you in some
serious fucking trouble. Fucking idiot.
She abandoned you then, son?
You don't need to keep
defending her, you know.
Oh, believe me, I know.
You guys believe me
as much as that insane bastard.
- That's not what we mean, Stefan.
- We mean she did it.
Look, she might not be a good person,
but she's not a mass murderer.
But we've got all the receipts
and CCTV images of Katie McConnell,
the weekend before her wedding.
- She bought dishwasher salt.
- So?
She also bought ant killing spray
and angina medication
from a forged prescription.
If you process them, then combine them,
you can make potassium chloride.
Which can induce fatal heart attacks.
The autopsies say that potassium chloride
was found in all eight Delaneys.
They all died of heart failure.
She did it. She killed them all.
Okay.
Oh, yeah.