What I Like About You (2002) s01e04 Episode Script
The Teddy Bear
Oh, good news, I found the fifth Yahtzee die, now we can start the game.
- Ah, great.
- Whoo-hoo.
Come on.
You said you wanted to play.
No.
You asked us what we wanted to do.
We said nothing, and you screamed Yahtzee! That's kind of the only way you can say it.
Oh, my God! What is Lorenzo doing in here? Who's Lorenzo? He's my old teddy bear.
Actually, his name is Bitty Bear, and he was my bear first.
Until you became a teenager and lost interest.
Then I adopted him.
No, I didn't lose interest, and you didn't adopt him.
You borrowed him and never gave him back.
No, I didn't borrow him.
I liberated him.
Then I reliberated him when I went to college.
The point is - He's my bear.
- He's my bear.
Okay, I kind of tuned out on the bear thing, but we're still not playing Yahtzee, right? So after all these years when I thought I lost him, you actually took him.
You stole your little sister's teddy bear? I knew you had a dark side.
I did not steal Bitty Bear.
Lorenzo.
Two names, adopted twice, living in a box -- I saw a movie of the week like that once, except the bear was Susan Lucci.
I cannot believe that you took my bear.
He was my -- you know what? We are both too old to be fighting over a silly teddy bear, right? You mean in front of people? No.
At all.
So, why don't we just put him back in the box where he has lived peacefully for the past 6 years? Fine.
I guess that'd be all right.
- Can you open the armoire for me? - Yeah.
Man! These stupid doors are stuck again.
I have a great guy who can fix that.
Aw, thanks, sweetie.
Oh, not you.
What? I could do it.
It's a piece of cake.
I don't know, honey.
You're not the most handy guy.
I'd be kind of nervous.
Well, I'll help him.
Then I'd be kind of more nervous.
I'll just call a handyman.
Come on.
I'm the one who installed your shower massager.
I turned it to "pulse," and it separated my shoulder.
And who was there to pop it back in for you? Hey! Uh-huh What I like about you You really know how to dance When you go up, down, jump around Talk about true romance Yeah Keep on whisperin' in my ear Tell me all the things that I wanna hear 'Cause it's true That's what I like about you That's what I like about you That's what I like about you Hey! Don't worry about it, Gary.
I'll cover for you.
I'll just tell Jeff you missed the bus.
Gary's gonna be late.
He's watching "Spongebob Squarepants.
" What a loser.
It's a repeat.
Good morning, sweetie.
Okay.
Where is he? I'm sorry.
Where is who? Do not mess with me.
I will turn your room upside down.
Don't let the soft voice fool you.
She'll do it.
Where's Bitty Bear? I'm sorry.
I don't know any bears by that name, but I could ask Lorenzo.
I cannot believe you snuck into my room and stole him.
I cannot believe you took him out of the box.
You're mad because I beat you to it.
You're mad because I have him now.
- He's my bear.
- No, he's not.
- Give him to me! - Back off! Guys, please.
There's a mature way to settle this.
- How? - I don't know.
You're the one who usually handles this stuff, so think of something quick, 'cause I'm starting to feel like the adult, and that is not our dynamic.
The only way we're gonna settle this is if we come up with something that is fair for both of us.
You mean like I keep the bear and you get over it? No.
Maybe we should find him a new home where he can make another kid happy.
You mean give him away? - Yeah.
- To who? How about that cute little girl that lives downstairs? You mean Josie? She'd love him.
I guess we could give it a try.
We'll take him down there this afternoon.
Hey, if Josie doesn't want him, what about my little nephew Stevie? The one who eats bark and blows stuff up? If that's not a kid screaming for a teddy bear, I don't know who is.
What if he blows Lorenzo up? I cannot guarantee that won't happen.
What's with the tool belt? What? I need it to hold my stuff.
What stuff? Here.
Let's check them out.
Damn! They're still out of whack.
I don't get it.
We've been sanding for 40 minutes.
You know what we need? Skills.
No.
We need rougher sandpaper.
Does your dad have any in his tool bag? Oh, yeah, but it's stuck to this machine.
You mean the electric sander? Hey! I bet we can use this on the -- Yeah! Go ahead and plug it in.
I'll do the doors.
Why do you get to use the sander? It's my dad's.
Have you ever used one of these things before? It's my dad's.
Fine.
You do it.
All right! Ha ha! Let it rip! [ laughing .]
[ sander runs .]
Oh! Make it stop! M-make it stop! Why don't you watch me do the first door, and then you can watch me do the second door? Fair enough.
All right, do me a favor and hold the door steady.
Okay.
- Ready? - Ready.
[ sander runs .]
Smooth, even strokes.
Go with the grain.
Very impressive.
The tools may be modern, but the technique is timeless.
Now let's see what it looks like.
It looks like an armoire with a hole in it.
Are you sure we're doing the right thing? We can work out some sort of custody arrangement -- I get him on the weekends, you get him on the weekdays.
We both have to agree that this is the right thing to do.
But if you're not okay with it No.
I'm okay with it.
It's what's best for Lorenzo.
Living in that box was no kind of life.
Are you ready? Ready.
Oh, look, I got the blue container and I started recycling, so you won, okay? No, no, Marcie.
That's not why we're here.
Holly and I brought Josie a present.
Oh.
How sweet.
Come on in.
Josie, someone's here to see you.
It's Holly and Val from upstairs.
Hi.
Did you find that life? What? My mom said you needed to get a -- Josie! Whew.
They brought you a gift.
This is a very special teddy bear.
First it belonged to Val and then it belonged to me.
Then it belonged to Val again without my knowledge.
Let's just keep it happy, huh? When we were your age and we felt sad or needed cheering up, we used to hug our bear really tight and it always made us feel better.
So now we want you to have him.
Josie, what do you say? He smells funny.
I'm gonna name him Stinky Bear! [ laughs .]
- What? - Stinky bear? Well, thank you.
That was such a sweet thing to do.
Yes.
Giving feels good, right, Holly? It's like a rainbow in my heart.
Bye-bye.
Bye.
Ha! See, look at that.
You can't even tell that's a new door.
Well, sure, if you close them.
Man, Val's gonna kill me! So she'll be a little upset.
You guys will get through it.
She's gonna kill you, too.
Why? I didn't chew up that door like a beaver.
Hey, your fingerprints are all over this thing.
[ keys jingling, door unlocks .]
Hey, how's it coming? Great! I'd love to watch TV.
No.
I want to see the armoire.
Okay.
You're pretty.
Oh, my God.
I know.
What are you gonna do, huh? Did you guys really think I wouldn't notice this little problem? Oh, did you think we were finished? Oh, no.
No, no, no, no.
We only stopped because we had a question about the doors.
What? Did you want them to match? How can you eat something off a street cart? You don't know how long it's been sitting there.
You don't know who's been touching it.
And meat should not be gray.
I guess you're right.
Ooh, hang on.
Give me a little bite.
Hey, isn't that Josie? How darling! Look, she's making Bitty Bear a little seat belt.
I remember when you used to take him on rides on your bike.
You were so right.
Giving him away was such a good idea.
Come on, Stinky Bear.
Let's ride.
Keep up, you stupid bear! You know, I don't know why we're not busting in there and taking Lorenzo back.
Because Josie's 7.
We have to think the way she does.
So we'll do a tradesy and call no takebacks, and if all else fails, we'll give her cooties.
What's this? It's for Josie.
For her birthday? How did you know? Actually, we didn't, but we were thinking, and we felt really terrible giving her that old, ratty bear, so we were wondering if she would want to trade.
Where is she? Let's get this done.
Josie! You know, she's really attached to that bear.
You can try to trade, but I don't think she'll go for it.
Well, here's hoping.
Josie! [ Val .]
: Hi! Ooh, look what I've got -- a bigger, fancier, stink-free bear.
He's cool.
Yeah, you like that bear, don't you? Sure you do.
So why don't you hand over stinky bear, and this guy's all yours.
Like a tradesy? Exactly.
I'm keeping Stinky Bear.
No takebacks infinity! Damn! Infinity.
You two have been so sweet to Josie.
I'm giving her a birthday party in the park tomorrow.
You think you could swing by? - No.
- No.
[ Josie .]
: Come on, Stinky Bear, time to wash your hair.
[ toilet flushes .]
So, this birthday party When and where? Um Okay, we tried getting him back your way.
Now we're gonna try mine.
What's your way? We go to that birthday party and grab Lorenzo.
You cannot just steal a teddy bear from a little girl.
Why not? You did.
Hey, you guys are back already? You didn't look at the armoire, did you? No.
You told us to wait.
It's been out there all night.
It should be dry.
Okay.
Here we go.
Ta-da! Nope.
Not dry yet.
Open the curtains.
Well At least the doors match.
When we left it out last night, it looked great.
This is not my fault.
Just give me another chance.
I swear I'll fix it.
Of course you will, honey.
I know you'll do whatever it takes to make this right.
I have complete confidence in you.
Thanks for that.
You won't be sorry.
Come on, man.
We got work to do.
Look at that.
He's all fired up.
I bet he gets it right this time.
Not a chance.
By tomorrow, that armoire will be sawdust, and he'll be at Pottery Barn buying me this new one.
You think? How do you think I got the new coffee table? Why did you bring balloons? You can't show up to a birthday party empty-handed, especially if you're planning on stealing something.
When they start fighting over the goody bags, I'll grab Lorenzo and run.
What if she didn't bring Lorenzo? I don't see him.
She brought him.
Look.
[ laughter .]
I'm going in now.
Cover me.
Hey! Ooh -- Mommy, 3:00.
I'm so glad you could make it.
We wouldn't have missed it.
We brought balloons for Josie.
Josie! What do you say? Balloons! Could you watch the party for a couple of minutes? I want to run and buy some candles.
Wine coolers.
I can't take this anymore.
I'm going in now.
If Marcie comes back, blame the redheaded kid.
Why him? Look at him.
He's guilty of something.
Look! Stinky Bear's an astronaut.
[ Children .]
: 321 - Blast off! - Blast off! - Blast off! [ cheering .]
[ no audio .]
- Aw! - Aw! - Aw! I'm gonna go get him.
No.
Don't be ridiculous.
Nobody's climbing any trees.
I'll get him.
Need a leg up? No.
I got it.
I want to climb the tree! [ shouting .]
Val, get them off me! Hey, kids, over here! Who wants candy? Aah! [ shouting .]
Val! I got your shoe! Catch! Okay.
Ready.
Mmm.
Tiramisu? I'm almost there! Ugh! Ugh! Got him! Uh-oh! Aah! Aaaah! [ screaming .]
Oh! Ugh! Ooh! Are you okay? I got him! What is going on here? She's trying to steal Stinky Bear! No, I wasn't! He was! What is it with you two and that bear? Nothing.
Just forget it.
The bear belongs to Josie.
Holly, let's go.
You don't understand how much this bear means to me.
Of course I do.
It means a lot to me, too.
See, he was my bear first, and -- That's what I loved about him.
He wasn't just any old bear.
He was your bear, and that's what made him so special.
Then when you went off to college, suddenly he was gone, too.
Holly, if I had known you felt this way, I never would have talked you into giving him away.
Can I please have my bear back? Isn't there something that you love so much that you'd never want to lose it? You know what, sweetie? I think we should give him back.
Okay.
Don't be sad, Josie.
You can come visit him whenever you want.
I'm not sad.
Toomuchcandy.
[ Val .]
: You did it.
You actually did it.
Listen to her.
She sounds surprised.
I know I am.
Hey, any luck with Bitty Bear? Nope.
I washed him 4 times, and he still smells like milk duds and stomach acid.
Well, let's try plan "b.
" Mmm.
I don't know.
It just doesn't feel the same with a plastic bag on it.
Tell me about it.
You know what? Maybe he'd be better off back in the box.
Are you sure? Yeah.
I mean, he was okay in here, and I'll always know where he is.
And his home has been painstakingly restored.
Goodbye, Lorenzo.
Bye, Bitty Bear.
The doors are stuck again.
Please tell me you didn't stain them shut.
Relax.
They're just a little sticky.
You just got to give it a good tug.
[ rattling .]
This one.
Chestnut brown.
Tuesday.
- Ah, great.
- Whoo-hoo.
Come on.
You said you wanted to play.
No.
You asked us what we wanted to do.
We said nothing, and you screamed Yahtzee! That's kind of the only way you can say it.
Oh, my God! What is Lorenzo doing in here? Who's Lorenzo? He's my old teddy bear.
Actually, his name is Bitty Bear, and he was my bear first.
Until you became a teenager and lost interest.
Then I adopted him.
No, I didn't lose interest, and you didn't adopt him.
You borrowed him and never gave him back.
No, I didn't borrow him.
I liberated him.
Then I reliberated him when I went to college.
The point is - He's my bear.
- He's my bear.
Okay, I kind of tuned out on the bear thing, but we're still not playing Yahtzee, right? So after all these years when I thought I lost him, you actually took him.
You stole your little sister's teddy bear? I knew you had a dark side.
I did not steal Bitty Bear.
Lorenzo.
Two names, adopted twice, living in a box -- I saw a movie of the week like that once, except the bear was Susan Lucci.
I cannot believe that you took my bear.
He was my -- you know what? We are both too old to be fighting over a silly teddy bear, right? You mean in front of people? No.
At all.
So, why don't we just put him back in the box where he has lived peacefully for the past 6 years? Fine.
I guess that'd be all right.
- Can you open the armoire for me? - Yeah.
Man! These stupid doors are stuck again.
I have a great guy who can fix that.
Aw, thanks, sweetie.
Oh, not you.
What? I could do it.
It's a piece of cake.
I don't know, honey.
You're not the most handy guy.
I'd be kind of nervous.
Well, I'll help him.
Then I'd be kind of more nervous.
I'll just call a handyman.
Come on.
I'm the one who installed your shower massager.
I turned it to "pulse," and it separated my shoulder.
And who was there to pop it back in for you? Hey! Uh-huh What I like about you You really know how to dance When you go up, down, jump around Talk about true romance Yeah Keep on whisperin' in my ear Tell me all the things that I wanna hear 'Cause it's true That's what I like about you That's what I like about you That's what I like about you Hey! Don't worry about it, Gary.
I'll cover for you.
I'll just tell Jeff you missed the bus.
Gary's gonna be late.
He's watching "Spongebob Squarepants.
" What a loser.
It's a repeat.
Good morning, sweetie.
Okay.
Where is he? I'm sorry.
Where is who? Do not mess with me.
I will turn your room upside down.
Don't let the soft voice fool you.
She'll do it.
Where's Bitty Bear? I'm sorry.
I don't know any bears by that name, but I could ask Lorenzo.
I cannot believe you snuck into my room and stole him.
I cannot believe you took him out of the box.
You're mad because I beat you to it.
You're mad because I have him now.
- He's my bear.
- No, he's not.
- Give him to me! - Back off! Guys, please.
There's a mature way to settle this.
- How? - I don't know.
You're the one who usually handles this stuff, so think of something quick, 'cause I'm starting to feel like the adult, and that is not our dynamic.
The only way we're gonna settle this is if we come up with something that is fair for both of us.
You mean like I keep the bear and you get over it? No.
Maybe we should find him a new home where he can make another kid happy.
You mean give him away? - Yeah.
- To who? How about that cute little girl that lives downstairs? You mean Josie? She'd love him.
I guess we could give it a try.
We'll take him down there this afternoon.
Hey, if Josie doesn't want him, what about my little nephew Stevie? The one who eats bark and blows stuff up? If that's not a kid screaming for a teddy bear, I don't know who is.
What if he blows Lorenzo up? I cannot guarantee that won't happen.
What's with the tool belt? What? I need it to hold my stuff.
What stuff? Here.
Let's check them out.
Damn! They're still out of whack.
I don't get it.
We've been sanding for 40 minutes.
You know what we need? Skills.
No.
We need rougher sandpaper.
Does your dad have any in his tool bag? Oh, yeah, but it's stuck to this machine.
You mean the electric sander? Hey! I bet we can use this on the -- Yeah! Go ahead and plug it in.
I'll do the doors.
Why do you get to use the sander? It's my dad's.
Have you ever used one of these things before? It's my dad's.
Fine.
You do it.
All right! Ha ha! Let it rip! [ laughing .]
[ sander runs .]
Oh! Make it stop! M-make it stop! Why don't you watch me do the first door, and then you can watch me do the second door? Fair enough.
All right, do me a favor and hold the door steady.
Okay.
- Ready? - Ready.
[ sander runs .]
Smooth, even strokes.
Go with the grain.
Very impressive.
The tools may be modern, but the technique is timeless.
Now let's see what it looks like.
It looks like an armoire with a hole in it.
Are you sure we're doing the right thing? We can work out some sort of custody arrangement -- I get him on the weekends, you get him on the weekdays.
We both have to agree that this is the right thing to do.
But if you're not okay with it No.
I'm okay with it.
It's what's best for Lorenzo.
Living in that box was no kind of life.
Are you ready? Ready.
Oh, look, I got the blue container and I started recycling, so you won, okay? No, no, Marcie.
That's not why we're here.
Holly and I brought Josie a present.
Oh.
How sweet.
Come on in.
Josie, someone's here to see you.
It's Holly and Val from upstairs.
Hi.
Did you find that life? What? My mom said you needed to get a -- Josie! Whew.
They brought you a gift.
This is a very special teddy bear.
First it belonged to Val and then it belonged to me.
Then it belonged to Val again without my knowledge.
Let's just keep it happy, huh? When we were your age and we felt sad or needed cheering up, we used to hug our bear really tight and it always made us feel better.
So now we want you to have him.
Josie, what do you say? He smells funny.
I'm gonna name him Stinky Bear! [ laughs .]
- What? - Stinky bear? Well, thank you.
That was such a sweet thing to do.
Yes.
Giving feels good, right, Holly? It's like a rainbow in my heart.
Bye-bye.
Bye.
Ha! See, look at that.
You can't even tell that's a new door.
Well, sure, if you close them.
Man, Val's gonna kill me! So she'll be a little upset.
You guys will get through it.
She's gonna kill you, too.
Why? I didn't chew up that door like a beaver.
Hey, your fingerprints are all over this thing.
[ keys jingling, door unlocks .]
Hey, how's it coming? Great! I'd love to watch TV.
No.
I want to see the armoire.
Okay.
You're pretty.
Oh, my God.
I know.
What are you gonna do, huh? Did you guys really think I wouldn't notice this little problem? Oh, did you think we were finished? Oh, no.
No, no, no, no.
We only stopped because we had a question about the doors.
What? Did you want them to match? How can you eat something off a street cart? You don't know how long it's been sitting there.
You don't know who's been touching it.
And meat should not be gray.
I guess you're right.
Ooh, hang on.
Give me a little bite.
Hey, isn't that Josie? How darling! Look, she's making Bitty Bear a little seat belt.
I remember when you used to take him on rides on your bike.
You were so right.
Giving him away was such a good idea.
Come on, Stinky Bear.
Let's ride.
Keep up, you stupid bear! You know, I don't know why we're not busting in there and taking Lorenzo back.
Because Josie's 7.
We have to think the way she does.
So we'll do a tradesy and call no takebacks, and if all else fails, we'll give her cooties.
What's this? It's for Josie.
For her birthday? How did you know? Actually, we didn't, but we were thinking, and we felt really terrible giving her that old, ratty bear, so we were wondering if she would want to trade.
Where is she? Let's get this done.
Josie! You know, she's really attached to that bear.
You can try to trade, but I don't think she'll go for it.
Well, here's hoping.
Josie! [ Val .]
: Hi! Ooh, look what I've got -- a bigger, fancier, stink-free bear.
He's cool.
Yeah, you like that bear, don't you? Sure you do.
So why don't you hand over stinky bear, and this guy's all yours.
Like a tradesy? Exactly.
I'm keeping Stinky Bear.
No takebacks infinity! Damn! Infinity.
You two have been so sweet to Josie.
I'm giving her a birthday party in the park tomorrow.
You think you could swing by? - No.
- No.
[ Josie .]
: Come on, Stinky Bear, time to wash your hair.
[ toilet flushes .]
So, this birthday party When and where? Um Okay, we tried getting him back your way.
Now we're gonna try mine.
What's your way? We go to that birthday party and grab Lorenzo.
You cannot just steal a teddy bear from a little girl.
Why not? You did.
Hey, you guys are back already? You didn't look at the armoire, did you? No.
You told us to wait.
It's been out there all night.
It should be dry.
Okay.
Here we go.
Ta-da! Nope.
Not dry yet.
Open the curtains.
Well At least the doors match.
When we left it out last night, it looked great.
This is not my fault.
Just give me another chance.
I swear I'll fix it.
Of course you will, honey.
I know you'll do whatever it takes to make this right.
I have complete confidence in you.
Thanks for that.
You won't be sorry.
Come on, man.
We got work to do.
Look at that.
He's all fired up.
I bet he gets it right this time.
Not a chance.
By tomorrow, that armoire will be sawdust, and he'll be at Pottery Barn buying me this new one.
You think? How do you think I got the new coffee table? Why did you bring balloons? You can't show up to a birthday party empty-handed, especially if you're planning on stealing something.
When they start fighting over the goody bags, I'll grab Lorenzo and run.
What if she didn't bring Lorenzo? I don't see him.
She brought him.
Look.
[ laughter .]
I'm going in now.
Cover me.
Hey! Ooh -- Mommy, 3:00.
I'm so glad you could make it.
We wouldn't have missed it.
We brought balloons for Josie.
Josie! What do you say? Balloons! Could you watch the party for a couple of minutes? I want to run and buy some candles.
Wine coolers.
I can't take this anymore.
I'm going in now.
If Marcie comes back, blame the redheaded kid.
Why him? Look at him.
He's guilty of something.
Look! Stinky Bear's an astronaut.
[ Children .]
: 321 - Blast off! - Blast off! - Blast off! [ cheering .]
[ no audio .]
- Aw! - Aw! - Aw! I'm gonna go get him.
No.
Don't be ridiculous.
Nobody's climbing any trees.
I'll get him.
Need a leg up? No.
I got it.
I want to climb the tree! [ shouting .]
Val, get them off me! Hey, kids, over here! Who wants candy? Aah! [ shouting .]
Val! I got your shoe! Catch! Okay.
Ready.
Mmm.
Tiramisu? I'm almost there! Ugh! Ugh! Got him! Uh-oh! Aah! Aaaah! [ screaming .]
Oh! Ugh! Ooh! Are you okay? I got him! What is going on here? She's trying to steal Stinky Bear! No, I wasn't! He was! What is it with you two and that bear? Nothing.
Just forget it.
The bear belongs to Josie.
Holly, let's go.
You don't understand how much this bear means to me.
Of course I do.
It means a lot to me, too.
See, he was my bear first, and -- That's what I loved about him.
He wasn't just any old bear.
He was your bear, and that's what made him so special.
Then when you went off to college, suddenly he was gone, too.
Holly, if I had known you felt this way, I never would have talked you into giving him away.
Can I please have my bear back? Isn't there something that you love so much that you'd never want to lose it? You know what, sweetie? I think we should give him back.
Okay.
Don't be sad, Josie.
You can come visit him whenever you want.
I'm not sad.
Toomuchcandy.
[ Val .]
: You did it.
You actually did it.
Listen to her.
She sounds surprised.
I know I am.
Hey, any luck with Bitty Bear? Nope.
I washed him 4 times, and he still smells like milk duds and stomach acid.
Well, let's try plan "b.
" Mmm.
I don't know.
It just doesn't feel the same with a plastic bag on it.
Tell me about it.
You know what? Maybe he'd be better off back in the box.
Are you sure? Yeah.
I mean, he was okay in here, and I'll always know where he is.
And his home has been painstakingly restored.
Goodbye, Lorenzo.
Bye, Bitty Bear.
The doors are stuck again.
Please tell me you didn't stain them shut.
Relax.
They're just a little sticky.
You just got to give it a good tug.
[ rattling .]
This one.
Chestnut brown.
Tuesday.