Why Women Kill (2019) s01e04 Episode Script
You Had Me at Homicide
1 Previously on Why Women Kill I have a date.
With your married man.
It's at this really fancy nightclub.
He's taking you out.
In public.
I thought Rob was taking her to the club tonight.
Do you honestly think I'm going to let that happen? Listen, when you were in my office earlier, did you happen to move any papers? I know better than to touch your things.
I'll have to stay late and redo it.
APRIL: Would you like to come with me to the club tonight? Rob canceled on me.
I love music.
- I used to play the piano.
- Do you still play? My husband didn't care for my playing.
Oh, honey.
Your husband's dead.
Don't you think it's time you stopped listening to him? [PLAYING TANGO MUSIC.]
Honey! TOMMY: Maybe when Mr.
Grove moves out, we could start doing this in your bed.
He won't be leaving until after my daughter's wedding.
Well, it Whoa, whoa, whoa.
That's two months away.
She gave me her hand in marriage.
- SIMONE: Karl - And I'm never going to let it go.
- [GASPS.]
- KARL: Oh! Bloody hell! I got fired.
I'm not surprised.
- Simone - One day, I will divorce Karl, but I will never hate him.
Where does that leave me? In the back of a van, having a marvelous time.
Van came with the job, so We'll figure it out.
I'm not worried about Duke anymore.
He stopped texting me.
ELI: So what's his deal? - Is he crazy? - A little.
He was always accusing me of cheating on him.
Come with us to Venice tomorrow.
- Oh, my God! - Tomorrow? Really? Are you going to Venice? I don't know yet.
ELI: I asked you, before, if you were in love with her.
Jade is the only thing in my life that is easy.
Live with us.
Be with us.
You just got home.
L is for the way you look At me O is for the only one I see V is very, very Extraordinary E is even more than anyone That you adore can Love is all That I can give to you Love is more Than just a game for two Two in love can make it Take my heart and please don't break it Love was made For me and you The purpose of an autopsy is to provide clarity.
How did the victim die? Was death the result of a gunshot? Stabbing? Poison? How someone is killed is easy to understand.
Why it happened, that's never so simple.
But it always begins with a choice.
It might be a decision to conduct a tawdry affair.
A plan to keep secrets from a loved one.
Or an agreement to bring a stranger into your bed.
Yes.
People make all sorts of questionable choices.
Of course, that's what keeps me in business.
Our waitress is giving me odd looks.
You're wearing sunglasses indoors, at night.
I think she recognizes me.
I don't even recognize you and we've had sex ten times.
- Lower your voice.
- Relax.
- Nobody here recognizes you.
- [GROANS.]
Let me see your eyes.
So, I got you a present.
[GASPS.]
Jewelry? You shouldn't have.
It's called a Swatch.
And it's waterproof.
Oh, so it's safe from my tears of joy.
[LAUGHS SOFTLY.]
I wanted to do something special.
It's our first date.
I mean, outside of the van.
I'm not sure I'd call it a date.
Why not? We're at a table, and there's food.
I wouldn't call it food, either.
You don't make it very easy to be your boyfriend.
Boyfriend? - Ah, another word you don't like.
- [STAMMERS.]
It's just not how I would describe you.
What would you call me, then? Your lover? Why do you need a job title? What's wrong with "Tommy"? Are you gonna put it on? [CHUCKLES.]
Why would I do that? Because it's a gift, and I'm asking you to.
Oh, for God's sake.
[LAUGHS.]
What's wrong? Am I embarrassing you? Shh.
Shush.
Sit down.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Next time, I'll buy you a gift that you'll actually wear on a date with me, like a ski mask.
Tommy.
Uh, what did I do now? [GROANS.]
Can I get you anything else to eat? Oh, God, no.
The food is dreadful here.
And he's too young for you, while we're offering unsolicited opinions.
[CHECK RIPS.]
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
[GASPS.]
Sheila.
What can I do for you? I have no food in my house, and my kids are starting to make some real ugly threats.
Maybe I can find a jar of peanut butter.
That's more than they deserve.
What's with the skates? BETH ANN: They're cute, huh? Rob bought them for me on our first date.
He took me to Happytime Roller Rink.
So why are you digging them up now? I'm going skating later today, with April.
- The waitress? - Oh, yes.
Last week, we went to an Andy Warhol exhibit.
Next week, she's going to teach me to surf.
Can you imagine? Me, surfing? I thought the plan was to gain the girl's trust and convince her to end the affair.
That's what I'm doing.
You sure? 'Cause it sounds like the two of you are becoming close.
Well, maybe a little.
April is very sweet.
She's so free-spirited.
You wouldn't believe the fun we have together.
Mm-hmm.
She sounds nice.
For a girl who's sleeping with your husband.
I know it's odd, but I like her.
I can't help it.
What's wrong with her being a friend? Nothing.
As long as you don't forget she's also the enemy.
Okay.
Well, how about, uh, you know, classic "she's our lover"? Oof.
That is too sexual.
Yeah? All right.
Um, our "special friend"? [LAUGHS.]
That makes me sound slow.
[LAUGHS.]
All right.
Uh, she's the third prong of our throuple.
- Ugh.
Barf.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Well, now that Jade's gonna live with us, we got to have some way to introduce her.
Well, why don't we just say she's family? - Aww.
I love that.
- ELI: Yeah.
That's nice.
[VEHICLE APPROACHING.]
TAYLOR: Wait.
Jade, does that look like Duke's truck to you? Oh, shit.
Wait, like, like, scary ex Duke? Did you tell him you were staying here? No.
I didn't tell anyone.
Oh, God.
He's getting out the car.
- Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck - Okay, it's okay, it's okay.
Okay, all right, all right.
Look.
Don't worry.
It's gonna be okay.
- I got this.
- Wait, what do you mean, you got this? I'm gonna talk to him.
You know? - Man to man.
- No.
Eli No don't E Oh, that's not good.
Okay.
Can I help you? Yeah, I'm looking for my girlfriend.
A guy told me that she's staying here.
Oh.
Uh, who's your girlfriend? Jade.
Jade.
Jade, Jade, Jade, Jade, Jade, Jade, Jade - No Jade who? - She's in that window, man.
- Oh, Jade.
Right.
Yeah.
- Yeah.
- I need to talk to her.
- Oh, okay.
Well, uh, the thing is, she's not really available right now, so - Yeah, I think she is.
- Yep.
[STAMMERS.]
Oh, shit.
All right, look look, man.
I don't want to get physical with you, okay? You're right.
You don't.
What do you think you're doing? You must be the fuck buddy.
And you must be Duke, the two-time felon.
Those were both felonies, right? So if I were to call the cops and they came here to see you committing a third assault, that sounds like three strikes to me.
This is the part where you walk away to avoid going to prison.
Tell Jade I'll be in touch.
[EXHALES.]
You know, that was unnecessary.
I had it under control.
- Honey, it was a team effort.
- I know.
Thank you so much.
I was so freaked out.
Aww.
Oh You're my hero.
Jade, I'm not your hero.
I just, I'm want to make sure you're okay.
Ooh, we should invite the Prescotts to the wedding.
[SIGHS.]
Must we? Well, I can't stand them, either, but they spent $10,000 at the gallery last year.
[SIGHS.]
Just put them on the maybe list.
Another maybe? Amy will be here in an hour.
We promised we'd have the guest list done.
What about the Randalls? Absolutely not.
I despise them.
Since when? We went to their son's wedding a month ago.
And never got a thank you note for the candy dish.
- [SIGHS.]
That's awfully petty.
- I agree.
How hard is it to write a simple note? I meant you.
What is going on? What do you mean, "going on"? You've been in a foul mood ever since you came home last night.
What could it be? I broke a nail? No, that's not it.
My husband sleeps with men? No, couldn't be that.
Fine.
Don't tell me.
Look, we have prepaid the caterer for 400 guests.
If we don't finish our list, then Brad's family will invite more rubes from Oklahoma, and the entire wedding will turn into a hoedown.
Do they have hoedowns in Oklahoma? Oh, well, they do in the musical.
First number of act two.
How did I not know what I was getting with you? - What? - [DOOR OPENS.]
Oh, Amy, you're early.
We haven't quite finished the guest list yet.
Brad slept with his ex-girlfriend.
The wedding's off.
I require wine.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa Watch out, watch ou watch out! Poetry in motion [LAUGHTER.]
[WHOOPS.]
A wave out on the ocean Could never move that way That was a blast.
Can I just say, every day I spend with you feels like an adventure.
[LAUGHS.]
We do have fun together, don't we? To be honest, I've been feeling a little lonely in L.
A.
I know how you feel.
[LAUGHS SOFTLY.]
It's nice to have a real girlfriend out here.
Well, it's getting late.
I should go.
Wait, do you think you have time for one more adventure tonight? - I suppose.
- Okay.
[CHUCKLES.]
April? What are you up to? Go ahead.
Try one.
Brownies? How are they an adventure? My recipe calls for a special ingredient.
Like what? Grass.
From your lawn? [LAUGHS.]
No, I'm talking about pot.
You know, marijuana? You mean reefer? Oh.
Look, it's not a big deal.
Lots of people do it.
Criminals.
Musicians.
- Please don't be angry.
- You are a good girl.
How could you do such a thing? Rob wanted to.
Your married man? Yeah.
That stuns me.
Given how you've described him.
He can be such a square.
I think he was just looking for a way to cut loose.
Oh.
Look, I really didn't mean to offend you.
I'm fine.
It's just something I wasn't expecting.
So are we friends again? [CHUCKLES.]
Great.
I'll go put these away.
- Wait.
- Hmm? Oh, what the heck.
[CHUCKLES.]
But how did you find out? I've had my suspicions for a while, and then Brad finally admitted that he's been lying to me about Cindy the whole time we've been engaged.
I know so many whores named Cindy.
And did I mention she's fat? 140 pounds if she's an ounce.
Oh, 140, where did he find her, a carnival? You know, darling, it's not even noon yet.
My fiancé fucked a beluga whale.
Can I please get some support here? I'm sorry.
Uh So he's been sleeping with Cindy this whole time? No, I didn't say that.
I'm confused.
He's been lying the whole time.
They hooked up that weekend you took me to Hawaii.
Hang on, that was two years ago.
Were you and Brad even engaged yet? No, but we were together.
Mm, off and on.
Okay, Brad hadn't proposed yet, but we both knew he was going to.
Exactly.
Yeah, or at least I knew.
Well, maybe you should've told him.
I can't believe you're taking Brad's side.
I'm just saying the situation is not quite so cut and dried.
Brad is a good man.
You might consider forgiveness.
Forgiveness? Boy, did you marry into the wrong family.
I'm going to my room.
Darling, I know you're upset, but when you drink without a glass, Brad wins.
Mmm.
I don't think it's working.
Takes a while to kick in.
I hope I recognize the sensation.
I'd hate to be high and miss it.
[CHUCKLES.]
Trust me, you'll know.
Hey, want to order in Chinese food and listen to records? Aren't you having dinner with your married man tonight? That's tomorrow.
Tonight, Rob has plans with his wife.
What? I don't know.
It's been planned for weeks.
Some dinner party with his boss.
Wednesday! Today is Wednesday.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah.
Why? I was supposed to feed my neighbor's cat on Monday.
Oh! Poor Mittens.
I should go.
Damn it! Where's my other skate? - It's under your armpit.
- Oh, yes.
Well, thank you for the reefer.
Yeah.
["WIPE OUT" BY THE SURFARIS PLAYING.]
[CAR HORN HONKING.]
[CAR HORN HONKS.]
[TIRES SCREECH.]
Where have you been? We need to leave in five minutes.
I know, I know.
Were you roller skating? [DOOR CLOSES.]
[GRUNTS.]
[MUSIC SLOWS, DISTORTS.]
Whoa.
[SLOWED DOWN.]
: Come on.
We have to go now.
Let's go over a few things.
When he's out of the office, my boss likes to be called Hal.
His wife is Vivian.
Vivian.
Dale and Gretchen Clark will be there.
He's tall.
She's brunette.
Pamela and Joe, they'll be the old ones.
And Myron Paul is coming, he'll be the short one.
Myron is short.
The guest of honor is Mr.
Tashiro from Japan.
Should be obvious who he is.
Why? Is that a joke? Sure.
JADE: Duke, please, I've apologized, like, 20 times.
What? Please, I'm begging you, please, don't hurt her.
Duke! Duke, please.
What is wrong with you? She's just a baby! Duke! Hello? Oh, my God.
Jade, what's going on? Duke is gonna kill Teacup.
- Teacup? - Our dog.
He says if I don't meet with him, he's gonna put her down.
Holy shit.
He can't do that, right? TAYLOR: Legally? I'm honestly not sure.
You don't think he'd hurt his own dog, do you? He went to prison for choking his accountant.
My dad's an accountant.
I have to go over there.
I love that dog.
Jade, it's too dangerous.
I don't care.
I have to save Teacup.
Fine, fine, but you're not going alone.
I will go with you, okay? - Okay.
Thank you.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
- Yes, of course.
Whoa, whoa.
What about me? I-I'm just saying, you know, two's good, three's better, right? Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
[TELEPHONE RINGING.]
Oh.
If that's Brad, I'm not here.
Hello? Ah, good morning, Brad.
I'm not here! Yes, actually, Amy's Okay, yes, you heard that.
Good! Look, I-I really couldn't say, Brad.
I mean, you know women.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh, I know.
Tell me about it.
[LAUGHS.]
Stop talking to him.
Oh, no, if anything, worse.
[LAUGHS.]
- No, I know it's ridiculous, but - Give me that.
[TELEPHONE BEEPS.]
Right, well, uh, I'm off to the gallery.
I'd love to start the day with a kiss.
Mm.
Ask the gardener.
- Oh, I won't make that mistake twice.
- Hmm.
[ENGINE STARTS.]
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
- Tommy! - I was up all night, thinking about our date, and I-I was super upset, but I should not have walked out, and I am sorry.
Are you crazy? You can't come to my house with flowers.
I waited for Karl to leave.
Well, he's not the only one who could see you.
- You have to go now.
- But, wait, at least take the flowers.
- No! - If you won't accept a simple gift, then what does that say about our future? We have no future.
- Are you breaking up with me? - Yes, it's over.
Now go.
Tommy Harte? Amy? I haven't seen you since last Christmas.
Yes, it's been a while.
Hi.
So who are the flowers for? They're for you, of course.
For me? [CHUCKLES.]
How did you know I was here? What a good question.
Well, I called Naomi to tell her the wedding was off, and she shared the bad news with Tommy, and then he brought you this lovely bouquet.
That's so sweet.
You're welcome.
Tommy, you should really go.
Amy and I have million things to do today.
I'll just put these in your room.
Well, it was very nice to see you, Amy.
Tommy, are you free tonight? I don't know if you're seeing anyone these days, but I could really use some cheering up.
Well, I was seeing someone, but, uh, she recently broke up with me.
Amy! You can't go out tonight.
We have to let people know the wedding's off.
So there are calls to make.
I'll make them tomorrow.
So I'll see you at Herberto's, 7:00? We can console each other.
That'll be nice.
Goodbye, Mrs.
Grove.
Amy, what could you possibly be thinking? Well, I'm thinking I'm going to have revenge sex with Tommy Harte.
Well, uh you can't do that.
He's not even your type.
I know he's a little young, but he's gotta learn from someone.
[UPBEAT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING INSIDE.]
MAN: So you're-you're telling me that this took four hours? - [MAN LAUGHS.]
- WOMAN: Well, yes.
- MAN: That's very impressive.
- MAN 2: That was the quick version.
[LAUGHTER, CHATTER.]
Oh, there they are.
Hey.
We were just about to send out a search party.
So sorry.
It takes Beth Ann a while to get dressed.
Yes.
So I recall.
[LAUGHS LOUDLY.]
This is my wife, Vivian.
It is so lovely to meet you, Beth Ann.
And I want to introduce you to Gretchen and Dale Clarkson, - and Pamela and Joe Kensington.
- Hi.
Where's Myron? - Oh, Myron had to cancel - Oh.
Oh, here's our guest of honor.
This is the young executive I was telling you about.
- Robert Stanton.
- Sir, it's an honor.
I've heard a lot of wonderful things about your work.
I hope I live up to your expectation.
So Myron's not here? Uh, no.
MAID: Dinner is served.
- Shall we? - Thank goodness.
Yes.
GRETCHEN: Thank you.
I'm starving.
What is your name? Beth Ann.
You must be Tashiro.
I am.
You were right.
It was obvious.
VIVIAN: I made place cards for everyone.
HAL: Uh, Mr.
Tashiro, you'll be right here in the center.
TASHIRO: Thank you.
Um, Beth Ann, did you find your place card? Honey? Sorry, I was looking at the swan.
Do you like it? It's the most amazing thing I've ever seen.
That is so sweet of you to notice.
Most don't.
Rob, do you see this? It's very pretty.
Now put it on your lap.
Oh, I don't want to unfold it, it took too much work.
HAL: It's fine, Beth Ann, I'm, uh I'm sure it's not that difficult.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- How would you know? Sweetie, don't you, uh, do this at all our dinner parties? Well, do you think that makes it easy? I'm sure I could do it if I tried.
[LAUGHING.]
I bet you couldn't! That sounds like a challenge.
No, no, she's not challenging you.
Make a swan.
I dare you.
- HAL [LAUGHING.]
: Well - [LAUGHTER.]
She's feisty.
You're on.
Oh, well, this should be very interesting.
HAL: Oh, piece of cake.
Come on.
How would I begin? I think you've got to lay it flat to start.
[CHUCKLES.]
Brilliant.
[LAUGHTER.]
HAL: The-the-the trick is in the first fold, am-am I right? - Well, I'm not helping you.
- Great.
Wait, wait, wait.
Almost - Got it.
- [LAUGHTER.]
VIVIAN: Keep your day job.
Not so easy, is it? HAL: All right, I'm gonna get it this time.
Honey, I dropped my fork on the floor.
Would you get it for me? Sure.
What is wrong with you? Huh? You're acting like you're drunk.
Am I? That might be the pot.
Pot? [WHISPERING.]
: That means marijuana.
I had some before dinner.
Where in God's name did you get marijuana? What's wrong? Am I not allowed to cut loose? We will talk about this later.
Good.
Then you can tell me where you get your marijuana.
What? That's right.
I know what you've been up to.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER, LAUGHTER.]
- [LAUGHTER.]
- HAL: All right.
- It's impossible.
I give up.
- Oh.
VIVIAN: Here, here.
Let me help you.
HAL: Thank you, my dear.
HAL: It's more like a duck.
[LAUGHTER.]
This is it.
Duke's place is just down the pathway.
Okay let's do this.
Okay, why are you talking like that? Like what? Like the star of a low-budget action film.
What? I'm not doing that.
[DEEP VOICE.]
: All right, let's stay close, people.
Here we are.
- What's the plan? - Okay, so I'm gonna knock on the door.
When Duke answers, I'll confront him No confronting.
Duke is a violent felon.
Are you crazy? You brought a hammer? I prefer to call this "Plan B.
" That's your plan B, aggravated assault? It's not assault if he hits me first.
Oh, he will definitely hit you first.
Great, great, anyway, so while we're struggling, Jade's gonna rush in, she's gonna grab the dog, and then we run.
Honey, that is a stupid plan.
That's a bit harsh, but, okay, fine, you go.
Here's my plan: Duke opens the door and I write him a massive check for the dog.
Oh, that's good.
Duke is always broke.
Fine.
I mean, if you want to be the kind of person that just solves all of her problems with money.
I very much do.
Jade, go ahead.
Duke! [TEACUP BARKING.]
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
[GASPS.]
Oh, my God, it's Teacup.
- Honey, honey, it's okay.
- [TEACUP WHINING.]
Mommy's here.
[GASPS.]
I guess Duke's not home.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
He's definitely, definitely home.
He doesn't go to work till 5:00.
Alright.
Come on, Duke, open up.
Okay.
He's clearly not home.
You know what? We'll just write him a note and we'll say that you came by and you are willing to make him a generous offer to buy the dog.
W-What, w-we're just gonna leave her here? For now, yeah.
[SIGHS.]
Okay, I left my pen in the car.
Hold on.
[CRYING.]
: I don't like this.
I know, but, I mean, what else can we do? You don't understand, if something happens to my dog, I will fucking lose my mind.
- Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
- Please, please, please.
[CRYING.]
[GLASS BREAKING.]
Start the car! What? Oh, shit.
Start the car now.
You know I got the call Jade! You got it Yeah, do what you do - You unbelievable - [JADE SCREAMS.]
- It's undeniable - You bitch! - You unbelievable - You're fucking dead! Mom, have you seen my car keys? I'm gonna be late to meet Tommy.
- Sorry.
- [SIGHS.]
I could've sworn they were in my jacket.
What the hell? I'm going on a date and you're inviting Aunt Kay to the wedding? That makes no sense.
I know she's dull, but she's good for a gravy boat at least.
I'm not getting married.
Okay? I'm going to meet Tommy Harte for sex, if I ever find my damn keys.
Yes, dear.
If.
Did you hide my keys? Yes.
And once you've calmed down, you'll thank me.
Sit.
No! Where are my keys? They're not in my purse.
I told you they weren't in there.
Fine, keep the keys.
I'll walk.
In those heels, you won't make it past the driveway.
I know you're upset, but if you sleep with Tommy, you're slamming the door on Brad forever.
I know.
That's the point.
But you love him, and he loves you.
The hall's booked, the caterer's been paid, your dress is gorgeous.
Why are you on Brad's side? What's changed? - Who got to you? - [FRONT DOOR OPENS.]
Hello.
Was it him? It was you.
This is all your fault.
Yes, I'm sure it is.
Sorry, what are we talking about? Amy's decided to pay Brad back by seducing Tommy Harte.
Tommy? Isn't he a little young for you? What is he, 17? He's 18 and mature for his age.
But that's beside the point.
You made a promise, young lady, to Brad, to us, and to the Biltmore Hotel.
Oh, you're one to talk about promises.
You divorced Daddy, the guy after him, and now with Karl sleeping in the guest room, I'm assuming he's on his way out as well.
Look.
I love Brad, but I don't know if I can trust him, and I don't want to be another you.
With three husbands by 40.
Your keys are in the freezer.
Go.
A-Amy, Amy.
You're right.
Your mother and I are sorting through some issues, and I'm not a perfect husband, and maybe Brad won't be either, but love is always a risk, and I know it's easy to think this is never going to last, so why don't I end it now, but the chance for love doesn't come around every day.
One must think long and hard before one casts it aside.
Mm.
Tommy's waiting.
Oh, go, go.
I I hope you have a nice dinner.
Do you, uh think my pretty speech helped? More than you know.
I need to make a phone call.
[EXHALES.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
My baby.
I'm gonna take Teacup upstairs.
It's nice and quiet up there.
Yeah.
She's had a stressful day.
What you did today, that was the nicest thing that anyone's ever done for me.
- Oh.
No big deal.
- No.
It absolutely was.
- Ow! - Oh Son of a bitch.
Please hide this.
Somewhere he can't find it.
Okay.
Thanks.
Come on, Teacup.
Oh, that's a good girl.
[TEACUP BARKING.]
[SIGHS.]
It's a good day, huh? Is it? I mean, we got the dog back, didn't we? All right.
I know we might've broken the law a little bit.
You broke the law, a lot.
And you made me an accomplice.
All right, yeah, but you saw how happy it made Jade, right? - I think it was worth it.
- Absolutely, you're right.
The smile on Jade's face more than makes up for the fact that I could be disbarred.
I'm sorry.
I mean, I had to do something.
No, you didn't.
I had a plan.
Yeah? So did I.
Mine actually worked.
That's not the point.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
The point is that I finally do something right and you can't even be happy about it.
What am I supposed to be happy about? For the last two years, I've been pathetic Eli who-who can't finish a screenplay, who can't help pay the bills.
I-I get it.
You're frustrated with me.
Well, guess what? I'm frustrated with me, too.
- Eli, you're not pathetic.
- No? 'Cause this morning, I couldn't even defend my own home.
My wife had to come save me.
'Cause I thought he was gonna beat you to a pulp.
He probably would have.
But the fact that you had to step in, that makes it hurt even worse.
- I was just trying to be helpful.
- I know.
But sometimes, honey, I just need a fucking win.
Okay? I just want to feel like a man and save a dog and have that be good enough.
You're right.
[VEHICLE APPROACHING.]
- It was a good day.
- Thank you.
[TIRES SCREECHING.]
I didn't lock the door.
- [CAR DOOR CLOSES.]
- Okay, all right.
Call the police.
Hey.
Look, hey, man, l-let me just start by offering my TAYLOR: No! Get off me, you bitch! Jade! Jade! [GROANS.]
Jade! Where the fuck is she? You broke my leg, you crazy bitch! Fuck with my family again, and I'll break the other one.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
- How's your food? - Excellent.
- Yours? - Yeah, it's-it's really good.
Good.
So you're going to college in the fall? - Art school.
- Oh, that's right.
You like to draw.
That's cute.
Yeah.
Oh, what the hell? Sorry to interrupt your evening.
Hello, Tommy.
Mrs.
Grove.
What are you doing here, Mom? I need a moment.
For what? I brought someone.
Brad would like to talk to you.
I'm in the middle of dinner.
Well, Tommy doesn't mind.
Do you? No.
- Simone - Don't look at me.
People will see.
Okay.
There's something I want to say.
Look, I only went out with Amy to make you jealous.
It was a, it was dumb thing to do.
I was just hurt, you know? Because I like you so much.
But I was thinking that if we put a name to what we've been doing, then I would know how you felt about me, but you're not into it, so I'll I will back off.
You can look at me now.
I must really like you a lot to wear this god-awful thing.
Well.
I guess the wedding's back on, then.
Oh.
Apparently so.
Back to us.
Are you free Friday? [LAUGHS SOFTLY.]
Yes, ma'am.
Don't call me ma'am.
Yes, lover.
Ma'am will be fine.
[INSECTS TRILLING.]
Thank you again for inviting us.
Everything was lovely.
VIVIAN: We are so glad you came.
I can't remember the last time we laughed so hard.
You're an absolute delight.
I hope we see you again very soon.
Robert, you're a lucky man, son.
Hope you know that.
Yes, sir.
- Good night.
- VIVIAN: Good night.
So how did you figure it out? Oh, crap.
I left a joint in my pocket, didn't I? You did.
You absolutely did.
I knew something was up.
You've been acting strangely for weeks.
So why did you smoke it? To get back at me? Well I don't blame you.
I'm sorry.
[SIGHS.]
My walk on the wild side is over.
Won't happen again.
[CAR DOOR CLOSES.]
I have one question.
What's that? Why did you want to try marijuana? [SIGHS.]
I thought it would be fun to break the rules.
Does that sound stupid? Not at all.
My life feels like one of those stupid swan napkins.
It's rigid, it's all tight folds and sharp edges.
And people admire it, but it takes so much work.
And it's goddamned exhausting.
Course it is.
We've forgotten to find time in our life for joy.
Joy? Hell, I'd settle for a few laughs now and then.
I would love to hear you laugh again.
I'd break every rule in the book for that.
I'm starting to realize you're not the good little girl I thought you were.
No, sir.
I'm a rebel.
Okay.
Okay.
We've got to do something, tonight.
Something - crazy! - [LAUGHS.]
Crazy and hilarious.
But what? I mean what can we do? What? [LAUGHS.]
: I'm actually getting excited.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
Rob [BETH ANN LAUGHS.]
We're being too loud.
I thought you were a rebel.
You're right.
[WHOOPS.]
[BOTH LAUGH.]
[THUNDER CRASHES.]
CORONER: If you visit your local morgue, you'll find the bodies of good people who made bad choices.
Some engaged in reckless love affairs.
Some invited violent strangers into their home.
And some kept dark secrets from those they loved.
Yes, it's choices like these that lead to death.
And more importantly, murder.
With your married man.
It's at this really fancy nightclub.
He's taking you out.
In public.
I thought Rob was taking her to the club tonight.
Do you honestly think I'm going to let that happen? Listen, when you were in my office earlier, did you happen to move any papers? I know better than to touch your things.
I'll have to stay late and redo it.
APRIL: Would you like to come with me to the club tonight? Rob canceled on me.
I love music.
- I used to play the piano.
- Do you still play? My husband didn't care for my playing.
Oh, honey.
Your husband's dead.
Don't you think it's time you stopped listening to him? [PLAYING TANGO MUSIC.]
Honey! TOMMY: Maybe when Mr.
Grove moves out, we could start doing this in your bed.
He won't be leaving until after my daughter's wedding.
Well, it Whoa, whoa, whoa.
That's two months away.
She gave me her hand in marriage.
- SIMONE: Karl - And I'm never going to let it go.
- [GASPS.]
- KARL: Oh! Bloody hell! I got fired.
I'm not surprised.
- Simone - One day, I will divorce Karl, but I will never hate him.
Where does that leave me? In the back of a van, having a marvelous time.
Van came with the job, so We'll figure it out.
I'm not worried about Duke anymore.
He stopped texting me.
ELI: So what's his deal? - Is he crazy? - A little.
He was always accusing me of cheating on him.
Come with us to Venice tomorrow.
- Oh, my God! - Tomorrow? Really? Are you going to Venice? I don't know yet.
ELI: I asked you, before, if you were in love with her.
Jade is the only thing in my life that is easy.
Live with us.
Be with us.
You just got home.
L is for the way you look At me O is for the only one I see V is very, very Extraordinary E is even more than anyone That you adore can Love is all That I can give to you Love is more Than just a game for two Two in love can make it Take my heart and please don't break it Love was made For me and you The purpose of an autopsy is to provide clarity.
How did the victim die? Was death the result of a gunshot? Stabbing? Poison? How someone is killed is easy to understand.
Why it happened, that's never so simple.
But it always begins with a choice.
It might be a decision to conduct a tawdry affair.
A plan to keep secrets from a loved one.
Or an agreement to bring a stranger into your bed.
Yes.
People make all sorts of questionable choices.
Of course, that's what keeps me in business.
Our waitress is giving me odd looks.
You're wearing sunglasses indoors, at night.
I think she recognizes me.
I don't even recognize you and we've had sex ten times.
- Lower your voice.
- Relax.
- Nobody here recognizes you.
- [GROANS.]
Let me see your eyes.
So, I got you a present.
[GASPS.]
Jewelry? You shouldn't have.
It's called a Swatch.
And it's waterproof.
Oh, so it's safe from my tears of joy.
[LAUGHS SOFTLY.]
I wanted to do something special.
It's our first date.
I mean, outside of the van.
I'm not sure I'd call it a date.
Why not? We're at a table, and there's food.
I wouldn't call it food, either.
You don't make it very easy to be your boyfriend.
Boyfriend? - Ah, another word you don't like.
- [STAMMERS.]
It's just not how I would describe you.
What would you call me, then? Your lover? Why do you need a job title? What's wrong with "Tommy"? Are you gonna put it on? [CHUCKLES.]
Why would I do that? Because it's a gift, and I'm asking you to.
Oh, for God's sake.
[LAUGHS.]
What's wrong? Am I embarrassing you? Shh.
Shush.
Sit down.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Next time, I'll buy you a gift that you'll actually wear on a date with me, like a ski mask.
Tommy.
Uh, what did I do now? [GROANS.]
Can I get you anything else to eat? Oh, God, no.
The food is dreadful here.
And he's too young for you, while we're offering unsolicited opinions.
[CHECK RIPS.]
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
[GASPS.]
Sheila.
What can I do for you? I have no food in my house, and my kids are starting to make some real ugly threats.
Maybe I can find a jar of peanut butter.
That's more than they deserve.
What's with the skates? BETH ANN: They're cute, huh? Rob bought them for me on our first date.
He took me to Happytime Roller Rink.
So why are you digging them up now? I'm going skating later today, with April.
- The waitress? - Oh, yes.
Last week, we went to an Andy Warhol exhibit.
Next week, she's going to teach me to surf.
Can you imagine? Me, surfing? I thought the plan was to gain the girl's trust and convince her to end the affair.
That's what I'm doing.
You sure? 'Cause it sounds like the two of you are becoming close.
Well, maybe a little.
April is very sweet.
She's so free-spirited.
You wouldn't believe the fun we have together.
Mm-hmm.
She sounds nice.
For a girl who's sleeping with your husband.
I know it's odd, but I like her.
I can't help it.
What's wrong with her being a friend? Nothing.
As long as you don't forget she's also the enemy.
Okay.
Well, how about, uh, you know, classic "she's our lover"? Oof.
That is too sexual.
Yeah? All right.
Um, our "special friend"? [LAUGHS.]
That makes me sound slow.
[LAUGHS.]
All right.
Uh, she's the third prong of our throuple.
- Ugh.
Barf.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Well, now that Jade's gonna live with us, we got to have some way to introduce her.
Well, why don't we just say she's family? - Aww.
I love that.
- ELI: Yeah.
That's nice.
[VEHICLE APPROACHING.]
TAYLOR: Wait.
Jade, does that look like Duke's truck to you? Oh, shit.
Wait, like, like, scary ex Duke? Did you tell him you were staying here? No.
I didn't tell anyone.
Oh, God.
He's getting out the car.
- Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck - Okay, it's okay, it's okay.
Okay, all right, all right.
Look.
Don't worry.
It's gonna be okay.
- I got this.
- Wait, what do you mean, you got this? I'm gonna talk to him.
You know? - Man to man.
- No.
Eli No don't E Oh, that's not good.
Okay.
Can I help you? Yeah, I'm looking for my girlfriend.
A guy told me that she's staying here.
Oh.
Uh, who's your girlfriend? Jade.
Jade.
Jade, Jade, Jade, Jade, Jade, Jade, Jade - No Jade who? - She's in that window, man.
- Oh, Jade.
Right.
Yeah.
- Yeah.
- I need to talk to her.
- Oh, okay.
Well, uh, the thing is, she's not really available right now, so - Yeah, I think she is.
- Yep.
[STAMMERS.]
Oh, shit.
All right, look look, man.
I don't want to get physical with you, okay? You're right.
You don't.
What do you think you're doing? You must be the fuck buddy.
And you must be Duke, the two-time felon.
Those were both felonies, right? So if I were to call the cops and they came here to see you committing a third assault, that sounds like three strikes to me.
This is the part where you walk away to avoid going to prison.
Tell Jade I'll be in touch.
[EXHALES.]
You know, that was unnecessary.
I had it under control.
- Honey, it was a team effort.
- I know.
Thank you so much.
I was so freaked out.
Aww.
Oh You're my hero.
Jade, I'm not your hero.
I just, I'm want to make sure you're okay.
Ooh, we should invite the Prescotts to the wedding.
[SIGHS.]
Must we? Well, I can't stand them, either, but they spent $10,000 at the gallery last year.
[SIGHS.]
Just put them on the maybe list.
Another maybe? Amy will be here in an hour.
We promised we'd have the guest list done.
What about the Randalls? Absolutely not.
I despise them.
Since when? We went to their son's wedding a month ago.
And never got a thank you note for the candy dish.
- [SIGHS.]
That's awfully petty.
- I agree.
How hard is it to write a simple note? I meant you.
What is going on? What do you mean, "going on"? You've been in a foul mood ever since you came home last night.
What could it be? I broke a nail? No, that's not it.
My husband sleeps with men? No, couldn't be that.
Fine.
Don't tell me.
Look, we have prepaid the caterer for 400 guests.
If we don't finish our list, then Brad's family will invite more rubes from Oklahoma, and the entire wedding will turn into a hoedown.
Do they have hoedowns in Oklahoma? Oh, well, they do in the musical.
First number of act two.
How did I not know what I was getting with you? - What? - [DOOR OPENS.]
Oh, Amy, you're early.
We haven't quite finished the guest list yet.
Brad slept with his ex-girlfriend.
The wedding's off.
I require wine.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa Watch out, watch ou watch out! Poetry in motion [LAUGHTER.]
[WHOOPS.]
A wave out on the ocean Could never move that way That was a blast.
Can I just say, every day I spend with you feels like an adventure.
[LAUGHS.]
We do have fun together, don't we? To be honest, I've been feeling a little lonely in L.
A.
I know how you feel.
[LAUGHS SOFTLY.]
It's nice to have a real girlfriend out here.
Well, it's getting late.
I should go.
Wait, do you think you have time for one more adventure tonight? - I suppose.
- Okay.
[CHUCKLES.]
April? What are you up to? Go ahead.
Try one.
Brownies? How are they an adventure? My recipe calls for a special ingredient.
Like what? Grass.
From your lawn? [LAUGHS.]
No, I'm talking about pot.
You know, marijuana? You mean reefer? Oh.
Look, it's not a big deal.
Lots of people do it.
Criminals.
Musicians.
- Please don't be angry.
- You are a good girl.
How could you do such a thing? Rob wanted to.
Your married man? Yeah.
That stuns me.
Given how you've described him.
He can be such a square.
I think he was just looking for a way to cut loose.
Oh.
Look, I really didn't mean to offend you.
I'm fine.
It's just something I wasn't expecting.
So are we friends again? [CHUCKLES.]
Great.
I'll go put these away.
- Wait.
- Hmm? Oh, what the heck.
[CHUCKLES.]
But how did you find out? I've had my suspicions for a while, and then Brad finally admitted that he's been lying to me about Cindy the whole time we've been engaged.
I know so many whores named Cindy.
And did I mention she's fat? 140 pounds if she's an ounce.
Oh, 140, where did he find her, a carnival? You know, darling, it's not even noon yet.
My fiancé fucked a beluga whale.
Can I please get some support here? I'm sorry.
Uh So he's been sleeping with Cindy this whole time? No, I didn't say that.
I'm confused.
He's been lying the whole time.
They hooked up that weekend you took me to Hawaii.
Hang on, that was two years ago.
Were you and Brad even engaged yet? No, but we were together.
Mm, off and on.
Okay, Brad hadn't proposed yet, but we both knew he was going to.
Exactly.
Yeah, or at least I knew.
Well, maybe you should've told him.
I can't believe you're taking Brad's side.
I'm just saying the situation is not quite so cut and dried.
Brad is a good man.
You might consider forgiveness.
Forgiveness? Boy, did you marry into the wrong family.
I'm going to my room.
Darling, I know you're upset, but when you drink without a glass, Brad wins.
Mmm.
I don't think it's working.
Takes a while to kick in.
I hope I recognize the sensation.
I'd hate to be high and miss it.
[CHUCKLES.]
Trust me, you'll know.
Hey, want to order in Chinese food and listen to records? Aren't you having dinner with your married man tonight? That's tomorrow.
Tonight, Rob has plans with his wife.
What? I don't know.
It's been planned for weeks.
Some dinner party with his boss.
Wednesday! Today is Wednesday.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah.
Why? I was supposed to feed my neighbor's cat on Monday.
Oh! Poor Mittens.
I should go.
Damn it! Where's my other skate? - It's under your armpit.
- Oh, yes.
Well, thank you for the reefer.
Yeah.
["WIPE OUT" BY THE SURFARIS PLAYING.]
[CAR HORN HONKING.]
[CAR HORN HONKS.]
[TIRES SCREECH.]
Where have you been? We need to leave in five minutes.
I know, I know.
Were you roller skating? [DOOR CLOSES.]
[GRUNTS.]
[MUSIC SLOWS, DISTORTS.]
Whoa.
[SLOWED DOWN.]
: Come on.
We have to go now.
Let's go over a few things.
When he's out of the office, my boss likes to be called Hal.
His wife is Vivian.
Vivian.
Dale and Gretchen Clark will be there.
He's tall.
She's brunette.
Pamela and Joe, they'll be the old ones.
And Myron Paul is coming, he'll be the short one.
Myron is short.
The guest of honor is Mr.
Tashiro from Japan.
Should be obvious who he is.
Why? Is that a joke? Sure.
JADE: Duke, please, I've apologized, like, 20 times.
What? Please, I'm begging you, please, don't hurt her.
Duke! Duke, please.
What is wrong with you? She's just a baby! Duke! Hello? Oh, my God.
Jade, what's going on? Duke is gonna kill Teacup.
- Teacup? - Our dog.
He says if I don't meet with him, he's gonna put her down.
Holy shit.
He can't do that, right? TAYLOR: Legally? I'm honestly not sure.
You don't think he'd hurt his own dog, do you? He went to prison for choking his accountant.
My dad's an accountant.
I have to go over there.
I love that dog.
Jade, it's too dangerous.
I don't care.
I have to save Teacup.
Fine, fine, but you're not going alone.
I will go with you, okay? - Okay.
Thank you.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
- Yes, of course.
Whoa, whoa.
What about me? I-I'm just saying, you know, two's good, three's better, right? Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
[TELEPHONE RINGING.]
Oh.
If that's Brad, I'm not here.
Hello? Ah, good morning, Brad.
I'm not here! Yes, actually, Amy's Okay, yes, you heard that.
Good! Look, I-I really couldn't say, Brad.
I mean, you know women.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh, I know.
Tell me about it.
[LAUGHS.]
Stop talking to him.
Oh, no, if anything, worse.
[LAUGHS.]
- No, I know it's ridiculous, but - Give me that.
[TELEPHONE BEEPS.]
Right, well, uh, I'm off to the gallery.
I'd love to start the day with a kiss.
Mm.
Ask the gardener.
- Oh, I won't make that mistake twice.
- Hmm.
[ENGINE STARTS.]
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
- Tommy! - I was up all night, thinking about our date, and I-I was super upset, but I should not have walked out, and I am sorry.
Are you crazy? You can't come to my house with flowers.
I waited for Karl to leave.
Well, he's not the only one who could see you.
- You have to go now.
- But, wait, at least take the flowers.
- No! - If you won't accept a simple gift, then what does that say about our future? We have no future.
- Are you breaking up with me? - Yes, it's over.
Now go.
Tommy Harte? Amy? I haven't seen you since last Christmas.
Yes, it's been a while.
Hi.
So who are the flowers for? They're for you, of course.
For me? [CHUCKLES.]
How did you know I was here? What a good question.
Well, I called Naomi to tell her the wedding was off, and she shared the bad news with Tommy, and then he brought you this lovely bouquet.
That's so sweet.
You're welcome.
Tommy, you should really go.
Amy and I have million things to do today.
I'll just put these in your room.
Well, it was very nice to see you, Amy.
Tommy, are you free tonight? I don't know if you're seeing anyone these days, but I could really use some cheering up.
Well, I was seeing someone, but, uh, she recently broke up with me.
Amy! You can't go out tonight.
We have to let people know the wedding's off.
So there are calls to make.
I'll make them tomorrow.
So I'll see you at Herberto's, 7:00? We can console each other.
That'll be nice.
Goodbye, Mrs.
Grove.
Amy, what could you possibly be thinking? Well, I'm thinking I'm going to have revenge sex with Tommy Harte.
Well, uh you can't do that.
He's not even your type.
I know he's a little young, but he's gotta learn from someone.
[UPBEAT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING INSIDE.]
MAN: So you're-you're telling me that this took four hours? - [MAN LAUGHS.]
- WOMAN: Well, yes.
- MAN: That's very impressive.
- MAN 2: That was the quick version.
[LAUGHTER, CHATTER.]
Oh, there they are.
Hey.
We were just about to send out a search party.
So sorry.
It takes Beth Ann a while to get dressed.
Yes.
So I recall.
[LAUGHS LOUDLY.]
This is my wife, Vivian.
It is so lovely to meet you, Beth Ann.
And I want to introduce you to Gretchen and Dale Clarkson, - and Pamela and Joe Kensington.
- Hi.
Where's Myron? - Oh, Myron had to cancel - Oh.
Oh, here's our guest of honor.
This is the young executive I was telling you about.
- Robert Stanton.
- Sir, it's an honor.
I've heard a lot of wonderful things about your work.
I hope I live up to your expectation.
So Myron's not here? Uh, no.
MAID: Dinner is served.
- Shall we? - Thank goodness.
Yes.
GRETCHEN: Thank you.
I'm starving.
What is your name? Beth Ann.
You must be Tashiro.
I am.
You were right.
It was obvious.
VIVIAN: I made place cards for everyone.
HAL: Uh, Mr.
Tashiro, you'll be right here in the center.
TASHIRO: Thank you.
Um, Beth Ann, did you find your place card? Honey? Sorry, I was looking at the swan.
Do you like it? It's the most amazing thing I've ever seen.
That is so sweet of you to notice.
Most don't.
Rob, do you see this? It's very pretty.
Now put it on your lap.
Oh, I don't want to unfold it, it took too much work.
HAL: It's fine, Beth Ann, I'm, uh I'm sure it's not that difficult.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- How would you know? Sweetie, don't you, uh, do this at all our dinner parties? Well, do you think that makes it easy? I'm sure I could do it if I tried.
[LAUGHING.]
I bet you couldn't! That sounds like a challenge.
No, no, she's not challenging you.
Make a swan.
I dare you.
- HAL [LAUGHING.]
: Well - [LAUGHTER.]
She's feisty.
You're on.
Oh, well, this should be very interesting.
HAL: Oh, piece of cake.
Come on.
How would I begin? I think you've got to lay it flat to start.
[CHUCKLES.]
Brilliant.
[LAUGHTER.]
HAL: The-the-the trick is in the first fold, am-am I right? - Well, I'm not helping you.
- Great.
Wait, wait, wait.
Almost - Got it.
- [LAUGHTER.]
VIVIAN: Keep your day job.
Not so easy, is it? HAL: All right, I'm gonna get it this time.
Honey, I dropped my fork on the floor.
Would you get it for me? Sure.
What is wrong with you? Huh? You're acting like you're drunk.
Am I? That might be the pot.
Pot? [WHISPERING.]
: That means marijuana.
I had some before dinner.
Where in God's name did you get marijuana? What's wrong? Am I not allowed to cut loose? We will talk about this later.
Good.
Then you can tell me where you get your marijuana.
What? That's right.
I know what you've been up to.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER, LAUGHTER.]
- [LAUGHTER.]
- HAL: All right.
- It's impossible.
I give up.
- Oh.
VIVIAN: Here, here.
Let me help you.
HAL: Thank you, my dear.
HAL: It's more like a duck.
[LAUGHTER.]
This is it.
Duke's place is just down the pathway.
Okay let's do this.
Okay, why are you talking like that? Like what? Like the star of a low-budget action film.
What? I'm not doing that.
[DEEP VOICE.]
: All right, let's stay close, people.
Here we are.
- What's the plan? - Okay, so I'm gonna knock on the door.
When Duke answers, I'll confront him No confronting.
Duke is a violent felon.
Are you crazy? You brought a hammer? I prefer to call this "Plan B.
" That's your plan B, aggravated assault? It's not assault if he hits me first.
Oh, he will definitely hit you first.
Great, great, anyway, so while we're struggling, Jade's gonna rush in, she's gonna grab the dog, and then we run.
Honey, that is a stupid plan.
That's a bit harsh, but, okay, fine, you go.
Here's my plan: Duke opens the door and I write him a massive check for the dog.
Oh, that's good.
Duke is always broke.
Fine.
I mean, if you want to be the kind of person that just solves all of her problems with money.
I very much do.
Jade, go ahead.
Duke! [TEACUP BARKING.]
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
[GASPS.]
Oh, my God, it's Teacup.
- Honey, honey, it's okay.
- [TEACUP WHINING.]
Mommy's here.
[GASPS.]
I guess Duke's not home.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
He's definitely, definitely home.
He doesn't go to work till 5:00.
Alright.
Come on, Duke, open up.
Okay.
He's clearly not home.
You know what? We'll just write him a note and we'll say that you came by and you are willing to make him a generous offer to buy the dog.
W-What, w-we're just gonna leave her here? For now, yeah.
[SIGHS.]
Okay, I left my pen in the car.
Hold on.
[CRYING.]
: I don't like this.
I know, but, I mean, what else can we do? You don't understand, if something happens to my dog, I will fucking lose my mind.
- Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
- Please, please, please.
[CRYING.]
[GLASS BREAKING.]
Start the car! What? Oh, shit.
Start the car now.
You know I got the call Jade! You got it Yeah, do what you do - You unbelievable - [JADE SCREAMS.]
- It's undeniable - You bitch! - You unbelievable - You're fucking dead! Mom, have you seen my car keys? I'm gonna be late to meet Tommy.
- Sorry.
- [SIGHS.]
I could've sworn they were in my jacket.
What the hell? I'm going on a date and you're inviting Aunt Kay to the wedding? That makes no sense.
I know she's dull, but she's good for a gravy boat at least.
I'm not getting married.
Okay? I'm going to meet Tommy Harte for sex, if I ever find my damn keys.
Yes, dear.
If.
Did you hide my keys? Yes.
And once you've calmed down, you'll thank me.
Sit.
No! Where are my keys? They're not in my purse.
I told you they weren't in there.
Fine, keep the keys.
I'll walk.
In those heels, you won't make it past the driveway.
I know you're upset, but if you sleep with Tommy, you're slamming the door on Brad forever.
I know.
That's the point.
But you love him, and he loves you.
The hall's booked, the caterer's been paid, your dress is gorgeous.
Why are you on Brad's side? What's changed? - Who got to you? - [FRONT DOOR OPENS.]
Hello.
Was it him? It was you.
This is all your fault.
Yes, I'm sure it is.
Sorry, what are we talking about? Amy's decided to pay Brad back by seducing Tommy Harte.
Tommy? Isn't he a little young for you? What is he, 17? He's 18 and mature for his age.
But that's beside the point.
You made a promise, young lady, to Brad, to us, and to the Biltmore Hotel.
Oh, you're one to talk about promises.
You divorced Daddy, the guy after him, and now with Karl sleeping in the guest room, I'm assuming he's on his way out as well.
Look.
I love Brad, but I don't know if I can trust him, and I don't want to be another you.
With three husbands by 40.
Your keys are in the freezer.
Go.
A-Amy, Amy.
You're right.
Your mother and I are sorting through some issues, and I'm not a perfect husband, and maybe Brad won't be either, but love is always a risk, and I know it's easy to think this is never going to last, so why don't I end it now, but the chance for love doesn't come around every day.
One must think long and hard before one casts it aside.
Mm.
Tommy's waiting.
Oh, go, go.
I I hope you have a nice dinner.
Do you, uh think my pretty speech helped? More than you know.
I need to make a phone call.
[EXHALES.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
My baby.
I'm gonna take Teacup upstairs.
It's nice and quiet up there.
Yeah.
She's had a stressful day.
What you did today, that was the nicest thing that anyone's ever done for me.
- Oh.
No big deal.
- No.
It absolutely was.
- Ow! - Oh Son of a bitch.
Please hide this.
Somewhere he can't find it.
Okay.
Thanks.
Come on, Teacup.
Oh, that's a good girl.
[TEACUP BARKING.]
[SIGHS.]
It's a good day, huh? Is it? I mean, we got the dog back, didn't we? All right.
I know we might've broken the law a little bit.
You broke the law, a lot.
And you made me an accomplice.
All right, yeah, but you saw how happy it made Jade, right? - I think it was worth it.
- Absolutely, you're right.
The smile on Jade's face more than makes up for the fact that I could be disbarred.
I'm sorry.
I mean, I had to do something.
No, you didn't.
I had a plan.
Yeah? So did I.
Mine actually worked.
That's not the point.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
The point is that I finally do something right and you can't even be happy about it.
What am I supposed to be happy about? For the last two years, I've been pathetic Eli who-who can't finish a screenplay, who can't help pay the bills.
I-I get it.
You're frustrated with me.
Well, guess what? I'm frustrated with me, too.
- Eli, you're not pathetic.
- No? 'Cause this morning, I couldn't even defend my own home.
My wife had to come save me.
'Cause I thought he was gonna beat you to a pulp.
He probably would have.
But the fact that you had to step in, that makes it hurt even worse.
- I was just trying to be helpful.
- I know.
But sometimes, honey, I just need a fucking win.
Okay? I just want to feel like a man and save a dog and have that be good enough.
You're right.
[VEHICLE APPROACHING.]
- It was a good day.
- Thank you.
[TIRES SCREECHING.]
I didn't lock the door.
- [CAR DOOR CLOSES.]
- Okay, all right.
Call the police.
Hey.
Look, hey, man, l-let me just start by offering my TAYLOR: No! Get off me, you bitch! Jade! Jade! [GROANS.]
Jade! Where the fuck is she? You broke my leg, you crazy bitch! Fuck with my family again, and I'll break the other one.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
- How's your food? - Excellent.
- Yours? - Yeah, it's-it's really good.
Good.
So you're going to college in the fall? - Art school.
- Oh, that's right.
You like to draw.
That's cute.
Yeah.
Oh, what the hell? Sorry to interrupt your evening.
Hello, Tommy.
Mrs.
Grove.
What are you doing here, Mom? I need a moment.
For what? I brought someone.
Brad would like to talk to you.
I'm in the middle of dinner.
Well, Tommy doesn't mind.
Do you? No.
- Simone - Don't look at me.
People will see.
Okay.
There's something I want to say.
Look, I only went out with Amy to make you jealous.
It was a, it was dumb thing to do.
I was just hurt, you know? Because I like you so much.
But I was thinking that if we put a name to what we've been doing, then I would know how you felt about me, but you're not into it, so I'll I will back off.
You can look at me now.
I must really like you a lot to wear this god-awful thing.
Well.
I guess the wedding's back on, then.
Oh.
Apparently so.
Back to us.
Are you free Friday? [LAUGHS SOFTLY.]
Yes, ma'am.
Don't call me ma'am.
Yes, lover.
Ma'am will be fine.
[INSECTS TRILLING.]
Thank you again for inviting us.
Everything was lovely.
VIVIAN: We are so glad you came.
I can't remember the last time we laughed so hard.
You're an absolute delight.
I hope we see you again very soon.
Robert, you're a lucky man, son.
Hope you know that.
Yes, sir.
- Good night.
- VIVIAN: Good night.
So how did you figure it out? Oh, crap.
I left a joint in my pocket, didn't I? You did.
You absolutely did.
I knew something was up.
You've been acting strangely for weeks.
So why did you smoke it? To get back at me? Well I don't blame you.
I'm sorry.
[SIGHS.]
My walk on the wild side is over.
Won't happen again.
[CAR DOOR CLOSES.]
I have one question.
What's that? Why did you want to try marijuana? [SIGHS.]
I thought it would be fun to break the rules.
Does that sound stupid? Not at all.
My life feels like one of those stupid swan napkins.
It's rigid, it's all tight folds and sharp edges.
And people admire it, but it takes so much work.
And it's goddamned exhausting.
Course it is.
We've forgotten to find time in our life for joy.
Joy? Hell, I'd settle for a few laughs now and then.
I would love to hear you laugh again.
I'd break every rule in the book for that.
I'm starting to realize you're not the good little girl I thought you were.
No, sir.
I'm a rebel.
Okay.
Okay.
We've got to do something, tonight.
Something - crazy! - [LAUGHS.]
Crazy and hilarious.
But what? I mean what can we do? What? [LAUGHS.]
: I'm actually getting excited.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
Rob [BETH ANN LAUGHS.]
We're being too loud.
I thought you were a rebel.
You're right.
[WHOOPS.]
[BOTH LAUGH.]
[THUNDER CRASHES.]
CORONER: If you visit your local morgue, you'll find the bodies of good people who made bad choices.
Some engaged in reckless love affairs.
Some invited violent strangers into their home.
And some kept dark secrets from those they loved.
Yes, it's choices like these that lead to death.
And more importantly, murder.