Woke (2020) s01e04 Episode Script

[Shopping's "Wild Child"]
[upbeat pop punk]
♪
MARKER: You don't have time
for ass.
Don't get caught up.
That's how they get you.
Next thing you know,
your pants are around your
ankles
with mismatched socks on
and the revolution on pause.
- [whispering]
Shut up.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait, wait.
Wait, wait, wait.
Don't put me in a drawer!
No, no, no!
Don't put me in a drawer, Keef!
♪
Fuck you.
♪
- You know you make
crying noises when you sleep?
- Oh, I am well aware.
Don't you think for a second
I'm ashamed of it.
ADRIENNE: Should be.
- Well, I'll have you know,
other than that,
I'm a normal guy.
- Mm, I hope not.
I hate normal.
I like full crazy.
- You want full crazy?
- Yeah.
- Well, allow me
to introduce you
to my talking marker.
- Yeesh, that's too crazy.
- Yeah, that's very crazy.
- So Black People for Rent?
KEEF: Oh, yes.
Black People for Rent.
Funny story, you and all
the other crazy white people
from the party the other night?
Yeah, y'all inspired it.
- I inspired your idea?
- Oh, don't worry.
I'll give you a shout-out
at the Pulitzers.
- No, I can see that
leading to acrimony and tears.
From you.
Why don't you just
go down on me one more time
while we still like each other?
You stole my idea.
- Okay.
- Let me lead the way.
- Okay.
- Warmer.
KEEF: Mm?
- Warmer.
KEEF: Okay.
- Way colder.
KEEF: Oh, see--okay.
SINGER:
Melt down your wedding ring ♪
It's all wild child ♪
Falling and fading ♪
But remember when ♪
You taught me
we aren't everything ♪
♪
[door opens and closes]
- Now, who the fuck was that?
- [laughs]
[rock music]
♪
[upbeat music]
♪
- Okay.
- Hey, so what's up
with the white girl
that was in our house
the other day?
- I don't know, but let's hope
it was a one night stand or--
KEEF: Hey.
GUNTHER: Oh, hey!
- What up?
GUNTHER: 'Sup?
- Oh, nothing much.
[hip-hop over speakers]
- What's this?
- Check it out.
GUNTHER: Okay.
"Black People for Rent."
Okay.
- Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We get it.
You woke as fuck.
What's up with the girl?
- Yeah, I don't wanna talk
about the girl.
- Well, tell us
about the lady then.
- Or we can move on.
- All right.
Don't worry about it.
- Okay, yeah, no.
I get it.
Uh, Black People represents
Black people?
Right?
That's what you're saying?
- I don't know.
Is that what you get from it?
- Uh, is that what you want me
to get from it?
- I mean, you know,
it's not for me to say.
- Mm.
- But it is for me to ask.
- You know she owe me
some toast, right?
- [sighs]
Isn't there a ball pit
you can go play in?
Adults are talking.
- Hold on, did--
did you put these up?
- Yeah.
All over the city.
- What?
- Yeah.
- Dude, why would you do that?
- Why would I do--
what are you talking about,
man?
That's--that's art.
It's my art.
And I think my art
should be seen
by as many people as possible.
- You know what?
You might be
onto something, Keef.
This could be
big business, man.
You could make some money.
- Okay.
- Wait, hold up.
So you're actually renting
Black people?
I mean, I'm gonna be honest,
I think
that's human trafficking.
- No, that's--
[sighs]
That's not what I'm saying.
What I'm--
I'm just calling out the idea
that San Francisco loves
Black culture,
but not Black people.
- Okay, yeah.
But aren't you afraid of how
some people might interpret it?
And by "some people,"
I'm talking very specifically
about white people.
You do know how we get, right?
[Cypress Hill's
"Insane in the Brain"]
- I know it.
- Oh, sh--hey.
Y'all wanna play "Who gonna say
the N-word" game?
- Well, I don't wanna play,
but my money is on
the guy
in the Brooks Brothers suit.
GUNTHER: Oh.
Okay, well, I don't really
wanna play either,
but no, not him.
He'll just mouth it.
See that guy?
Right there.
Yes.
He's going to say it.
See, right now, he's having
this internal argument
about artistic license
and that,
"If I don't say the N-word,
the message of the song
will never come through."
- I don't wanna play the game,
butI disagree.
- You do wanna play.
What the hell
is you talking about?
Man, it's gonna be
it's gonna be
the Macaulay-Culkin-looking
motherfucker right here.
He gonna say it.
- Here we go.
Here we go.
RAPPER: I got to maintain
'cause a-- ♪
GUNTHER: Shit!
CLOVIS: Damn!
- What, a blackout?
- Fucking PG&E.
Guess we will never know.
- Bullshit.
Hey!
Which one of you niggas
was gonna say "nigga"?
- What I'm saying is,
if we were actually blind,
we'd still be in that bar.
- Okay.
In this scenario,
are all three of us blind?
- Mm-hmm.
Yes, obviously.
- How the fuck that happen?
- Global catastrophe.
It's an inconvenient truth.
- God, man, that is dark.
[laughs]
- Well, everything is dark
in the world of the blind.
- Okay.
CLOVIS: Shit.
Hey, hey, hey.
Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.
Hey, that's the cutie
from the bar, man.
- Yeah, good luck with that.
- You do realize ain't no woman
out of my league, right?
- Uh, no.
I'm seeming to remember
a beautiful sneakerhead
named Ayana.
- So who are you gonna pretend
to be this time?
- So you actually feel like
I can't pull a cutie as myself?
- No, 'cause you haven't
done it yet.
You know what I mean?
- All right.
I'll tell you what.
Watch this.
I'ma go over there,
I'ma use everything Ayana said,
and I'ma still seal the deal.
Watch and learn.
Losers.
Looking like a buddy cop movie.
[both laugh]
- Oh.
WOMAN: Hi.
CLOVIS: Hey.
You were at the, uh--
at the bar, right?
- Yeah.
Busy bar.
Couldn't even get a drink.
[laughs]
- Oh, wow. You know what?
I actually wanna buy you
that drink.
But not too many
'cause I don't want you
to make any bad decisions.
- We seem to have
common interests.
- Yeah, see, we do.
We do.
Keep it real.
Um, I'm feeling you.
- Contact.
- He touched her hand.
- Yeah.
- She allowed it.
- That's wild.
- You know, you come back
to my place.
- Mm-hmm.
- I pour you a little rosé.
- [laughs]
- Right?
Got a little Trey Songz on
and, uh, I just tap that ass.
Respectfully.
- Oh, my God.
- No, you can't do that.
- [laughs]
- He better not get us banned
from here.
- [laughs]
That's your game?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You laughin'.
- [laughs]
Get the fuck out of my face,
little man.
- Oh!
- [laughs]
- Wannabe Mini-Me James Harden
motherfucker.
[soft music playing]
- [laughs]
Hey, I'ma go--
I'ma go get that.
You know what I mean?
I got this.
KEEF: Yeah.
GUNTHER: Good call, yeah.
KEEF: That's a real good idea,
to follow her home.
Yeah, you should do that.
- True failure is never trying.
- [sighs]
Guess so.
- Yeah.
Doesn't say that, but
- [laughs]
- Oh, look. See?
Look at this right here.
That's what
I was telling you about.
This guy actually thinks
he can rent a Black person.
- No.
No, no, no, no.
He's just interacting
with the art, dude.
This is a good thing.
- No.
I'm telling you, man.
I know our ways.
[Alfie Templeman's "Circles"]
- Mom.
Mom!
- What?
- Can we rent one
for my birthday party?
[upbeat pop music]
ALFIE: Here I am ♪
Running round in circles ♪
- Is that a movie?
It's in very poor taste.
ALFIE: I see
that you don't seem to care ♪
- I think I'm mad about this.
Should I be mad about this?
- Depends what you wanna
rent them for.
ALFIE: Running in circles ♪
♪
Never ends ♪
- [giggles]
ALFIE: Circles ♪
♪
Never ends ♪
- Don't ask me
for anything else.
- Okay.
WOMAN ON PHONE: Oh, my God.
What is this?
What are you trying to do
to people?
MAN ON PHONE:
I'm a white person and I'm--
WOMAN: Hello.
I am a concerned white--
MAN: I'm white and I'm conce--
- White people seem concerned.
- Listen to one
of the racist dudes.
[groans]
That's--
MAN: Yeah, all right.
I want a basketball playing,
watermelon eating--
- All right.
- And apparently,
white people can be racist too.
What is your point?
- Really?
Okay.
You know what?
This is the point right here.
PAUL: Hello, my name is Paul,
and my company is throwing
an event on the 23rd,
and we're looking to, uh,
diversify the crowd a bit
and we saw your ad.
If you could give us a call
and discuss rates,
we would really--
- Rates.
Wanna discuss rates.
- Wow.
That's fucked up.
- That is fucked up!
- Yeah.
KEEF: That is fucked up.
I was expecting
all the bleeding hearts
and stuff like that,
but I wasn't expecting that.
- I think we have a story here.
- Boom.
That's why I came to you
because you--
you know, this is--
I'm just gonna--I'm gonna call
everybody back and--
- No.
I'll do that.
- You're gonna do it?
- Yeah.
KEEF: All right.
I feel like I'm in a Woodward
and Bernstein situation.
You know?
It's exciting.
- You need to grow this thing.
KEEF: Yeah.
- Go out,
hang up more posters
That's it.
- Okay, cool.
AYANA: Okay.
- All right, then.
- Go ahead and do it.
- Absolutely.
- Teamwork.
- Teamwork make the dream work.
- Bye.
- Bye, bye, bye, bye, racism--
- Okay, you're still here.
- Oh.
AYANA: So
- Oh, you want me to go now?
- Yeah.
- I just wanna say--
- Mm-mm.
- Okay.
- We're done.
[Essential Logic's "Wake Up"]
WOMAN:
These posters are genius.
MAN: How much
do you think they charge?
MAN: This shit is racist.
WOMAN: It's either this
or drive rideshare.
BIN: This ain't new.
Black people been for rent
as long as they been for sale.
Keefy Keef, come on.
This ain't art.
[singer singing indistinctly]
♪
CLOVIS: Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Ta-da!
- Black People for Rent
T-shirts.
- Yes!
Come on.
Hmm?
- Look, I'll be honest
with you, man.
I'm not sure
this is what Ayana meant
when she said,
"Grow this thing."
- Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.
Hey, Keef, listen, man.
[phone chimes]
I am invested in you, man.
But I'm also invested
in these T-shirts, all right?
- All right.
- So let's get over that, man.
Let's get this money, okay?
- Get this money, okay?
- Hey, who's that
on your phone?
- Who's that on my--huh?
- Is that the girl
from last week?
- Just--
- Man, I told you about
fucking catching feelings, man.
- I'm not catching feelings,
dude.
I'm just--wait.
Let's just rewind for a second.
- Go ahead.
- As I recall,
the last two women you hit on?
- Mm-hmm?
- Cut you off at the knees.
And I will stop there
because it's just too easy.
- [laughs]
You think you're funny.
You know--but you know
what's really easy
is gonna be getting this money
with these shirts.
Come on.
Come on.
Hey, touch it.
- What?
- Touch it.
- Okay
- Come on.
- Not when you say it
like that.
CLOVIS: You know you want to.
You feeling that.
Look at your face.
It's soft.
- It is soft.
- It's silky.
- Okay.
- It's smooth.
Look how it lays.
You see how the beard sits
on it?
- Okay, pump your brakes,
Frederick Douglass.
You might be the only Black man
to get this excited
about cotton.
- Black folks
don't like cotton?
- Okay.
[Jimmy Mawi's
"Let Me Keep Away From You"]
[funky music]
♪
JIMMY: Let me keep away ♪
Let me ♪
If only new tattoo ♪
- Oh, hey.
That's a--that's a nice shirt.
- This?
- Yeah.
I make it.
Uh, Black People for Rent.
- Oh, that's smart, man.
Very powerful.
♪
So do I just fill out
an application or
- Application?
What do you mean?
- Yeah, for a job.
I tried calling,
but the voicemail was full.
- Since we can't buy them
anymore,
guess renting is almost
as good.
[laughs]
- Oh.
Yes.
Uh, yeah, yes.
Uh, keep calling
and we're gonna get back
to you.
- All right, yeah!
- Yeah.
- Appreciate it, man.
- Yes, sir.
- Hey, good looking out.
- I appreciate that.
- All right, man.
- Take it easy.
- Easy, brother.
- [laughs]
JIMMY: I'll die
if I see a new lady ♪
Let me ♪
Keep away ♪
- Shit.
Shit, shit.
♪
MAN : Yeah, hello. Is this Black People for Rent?
My name is Darnell.
I'm looking for work.
Is this flat rate?
Hourly?
Yo, I'm real Black.
Like, real, real, Black.
Like, wassup?
[phone beeps]
- And that's just the tip
of the iceberg, bro.
I'm telling you, man.
A woman with a PhD
in astrophysics called,
and another guy called
asking if he needed
any special skills.
I'm telling you, man,
this is crazy.
- Hmm.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what else is crazy?
Hmm?
Bam!
KEEF: That's not--
- Look at the socks, man.
Black People for Rent socks.
Okay, that didn't get you.
I get it, right?
You don't like socks.
I see your feet, right?
Okay.
Bam!
Look at the headband.
I know you love it, brah.
Come on now.
Look at that. What?
Okay, you're not rocking
with that.
All right. Bam!
Got sweatbands.
- Bro, I'm telling you, man,
this is messed up!
It really is.
Half the people who called
were Black people
looking for work.
More than half!
- I got it.
I got it.
We gonna create a app.
Huh? What?
Think about it.
Where Black people can rent
themselves out.
- Oh, dear Lord.
- Yeah, no, I'm saying
that's it, man.
This gonna make
your stuff bigger.
- That's the point.
Blackness should not
be a commodity.
- But it's
the original commodity.
[door slams]
- I'm shooketh.
Yeah, shook-eth.
This?
This, uh, poster?
It's got some white folks
talking crazy.
- I bet.
- Yeah, I even overheard
one miscreant
ask if there was
a rent-to-own option.
Funny stuff, huh?
- You need to relax, bro.
You want some socks?
- Fuck your socks, all right?
Now, I know this isn't my place
to say it, but
maybe you should just stick
to drawing your cartoons.
Okay?
- Wow.
Really?
You know I'm more
than a cartoonist, right?
Are you telling me
to "shut up and draw"?
- No.
Yes.
Maybe, all right?
I just don't think
you thought this
all the way through.
'Cause ever since
you put these up,
I got white people throwing
their racism in my face.
It's--it's gross.
- Oh, my God, dude!
I had no idea
you were the victim!
- I'm just saying.
You're opening Pandora's box.
- But that's art, right?
Art is supposed to provoke.
That's a good thing!
I think.
[chill music]
ADRIENNE: So when I was,
like, 12,
I found this dead starfish
in a rock pool
near where I lived, and--
- Bit of a non sequitur,
but okay.
- No.
You asked if art was supposed
to make you uncomfortable.
I'm telling you a story.
- Oh, okay.
- Starfish.
- Tell me the story.
- So I found this starfish
and I stuck all these
hypodermic needles in its arms,
and I called it
a shooting star.
I was trying to make a comment
about how polluted
the beach was,
but my teacher thought
I was promoting drug use
and they ended up
urine-testing kids
right through high school,
so I was popular.
- Mm.
What is a 12-year-old doing
with hypodermic needles?
- That's your takeaway
from this?
- Absolutely.
- Okay.
Keef, if you wanna make art
that provokes,
you can't control
how people react.
- [sighs]
I kinda like you.
- I figured.
I'm gonna make a coffee.
- Cool, cool.
I'll take mine,
uh, almond milk
[tense music]
- Everything okay?
- Why in the heck is this
white woman inside of me?
Feels wrong, doesn't it?
How this change the message?
- [whispering] Stop talking,
stop talking.
SHIRT: See, you consented
to this
the moment you put your art
out there.
It is all your fault--
your fault!
ADRIENNE: What?
- What's up? Hmm?
- You were talking.
- No, I was just, um
- Say it, come on.
- [clears throat]
Okay.
Do you mind
taking that shirt off?
SHIRT: Thank you.
- Is everything all right?
- No, everything's fine.
- No, it's not.
- Everything's--
SHIRT: It's not.
- [exhales] You know?
SHIRT: It's not fine.
- It's not you.
- It is her!
- It's not the shirt.
It's--it's you in the shirt.
- Wow.
- Offering Black people
for rent.
- How the fuck
she didn't read that?
- Shit.
SHIRT: That's right.
- I'm so--I'm so sorry.
That's my bad.
SHIRT: You know something?
Let me speak to a manager.
- Get to the bank
and get me some paper!
Getting the bread up ♪
[upbeat music]
Yo, that's--
- Cheers.
♪
[door closes]
- Who the fuck is that?
Man, why is it
random white women
walking around the house?
This shit is ridiculous, man.
- Dude, will you be real
with me for a second?
- Yeah, that robe look dumb.
- No, man.
Like, am I being crazy?
Like, you really like
this shit?
- Shit, I don't know,
but he my friend,
so I'ma support him.
And you should too.
- Yeah.
Fuck.
- Yo.
GUNTHER: Hmm?
- You can show real support
by spending $19.99
on one of these shirts.
[upbeat music]
♪
- Oh.
No, ma'am.
We're not really
renting people.
It's--it's art.
- But we do have
these limited-edition T-shirts
that supports this Black artist
who is Black.
Guaranteed to bring
your white guilt down 2%.
Check it out.
- You should definitely not
wear it though.
- Hey, this America.
You can do what you want.
Come on.
I got yellow.
Look real good on you.
- Buy it.
Don't wear it.
You will get beat up.
- We will send a Black person
to escort you
while wearing the T-shirt.
- Not true.
♪
- Hey.
AYANA: Hey.
KEEF: So, um,
remember that story
that you were thinking about?
- I wasn't thinking about it.
I was writing it.
- Well, I just thought about it
and you--
you don't have to.
It--it's done.
Just don't even do it.
- Oh, I see.
Here we are again.
Mr. Say Something Important
and Then Walk It Back.
- Okay, I know
it's a lot, right?
But there was this whole, um--
this whole T-shirt thing?
- What T-shirt thing?
- Oh, I made
Black People for Rent T-shirts
because you told me
to grow this thing
and make this thing
a lot bigger
and so that's
exactly what I did,
but it got weird.
- Oh, I see.
Some white girl
you're sleeping with put it on,
and now you feel different
about it.
- How'd you know?
- What the fuck?
- What?
- Been there.
Look, white people love
edgy Black shit,
and once they put it on,
the narrative changes.
Not everything needs to be
for sale.
Can you imagine
if Angela Davis had a Etsy?
- Oh, my God.
That would be pretty dope.
I would get,
like, a black turtleneck
and a leather jacket over,
you know what I mean?
And then--it'd be nice.
It'd be nice.
AYANA: Hey. Right here?
- Oh.
- You let this out.
So you have to deal with it.
The good, the bad,
and the ugly.
Kay?
Bye, Keef.
- Bye.
You just--really?
♪
MAN: This dude
used our struggle
for his own artistic gain.
Cancel his ass.
MAN: Where's my job,
Keef Knight?
MAN: Stick to drawing.
WOMAN: Okay, San Francisco.
MAN: Black People for Rent
sucks.
WOMAN: Fuck that guy.
MAN: How 'bout solutions,
Keef?
MAN: Black People for Rent
is grade-A bullshit.
MAN: Race hatred
considered art now?
WOMAN: Don't quit
your day job.
[overlapping chatter]
MAN: Someone cancel his ass.
MAN: Grade-A bullshit.
WOMAN: Someone needs
to cancel his ass.
MAN: Yo, Keef,
you a sellout, man.
WOMAN: He's out of control!
♪
- [exhales]
♪