A.N.T. Farm (2011) s01e05 Episode Script

Cameron, what dance should I dance.
For the first dance at my first High School dance? The Dougie? The robot? Dougie the robot? You just took two of my favorite things and made them horrible.
Sorry, no ants allowed.
Says who? The student body president.
Well, I want to talk to him.
You are talking to him.
That's him! Tough break, kid.
You heard him.
No ants allowed.
I'm not an ant.
I'm a sophomore.
I've known you since kindergarten.
Oh, right! You were that really tall kid.
Yeah.
I peaked early.
Okay, I don't understand.
All my friends said that they were going to the dance tonight.
They must mean the ant dance in the ant farm.
I'm sure you'll have a blast.
Come on, chyna! We're playing musical chairs! All right.
I'll go find a chair at my house.
No, I don't think that's allowed, but let me check the rule book.
Hey! No fair! I was checking the rule book! Ooh, ooh doo, doo ooh, ooh doo, doo Whoo! Everybody's got that thing something different we all bring don't you let 'em clip your wings you got it you got it we're on fire and we blaze in extraordinary ways 365 days we got it we got it you can dream it you can be it if you can feel it you can believe it 'cause I am, you are, we are exceptional exceptional yeah, I am, you are, we are exceptional exceptional ooh, ooh, ooh ooh, ooh Whoo! Olive? Olive? Olive! This dance is pathetic.
Forget the unicorn.
Hit me.
Put me out of my misery.
Oh, come on.
The hokey pokey.
O.
Don't you want to put your left foot in? No, I want to turn myself around.
I'll take a glass of yummy worms.
And make it a double.
Coming right up.
So, what's got you down? I'm getting nowhere with chyna.
She doesn't even know I'm alive.
Maybe you're not.
Maybe you're a ghost.
Hey! Nope.
You're just unappealing.
Time for a new approach, bro.
Check out this book.
It really changed my life.
Sammy sucks his thumb? Yeah, not that book.
This book.
Ah.
How to win a girl in ten easy steps.
I'm guessing step one is "don't suck your thumb.
" No, it says in order to get a girl.
You have to get in good with the girl's father.
That's why I'm taking olive's dad cheese-tasting.
You'll see.
She'll be hitting on me in no time.
Ow! Wow.
You know your stuff.
You know, I half expected candy to pour out of him.
Man, I really overdid it last night.
That party was crazy.
The whole thing is kind of hazy to me.
Was there a unicorn there? I am never.
Eating another piece of candy again.
Ooh, jelly beans! Hey! Those are just for display.
What are you doing? Since they won't let us into any school dances, I'm going to wear this to sneak into prom this spring.
What do you think? No offense, but it makes you look a little hippy.
Well, we have to do something.
We can't let the student council.
Keep us from going to school dances or pep rallies.
What am I going to do with all this pep? I'm backed up with pep! You know what you should do? There's an election coming up.
You should use your pep to run for ant representative on the student council.
Really? You think I should? Absolutely! I mean, you're smart, you're charming, you comfortably seat eight.
You know what? I'll do it! I'll run for student council.
Great! Let's just get your name on the ballot.
All you have to do is just record and submit this nomination statement.
I, chyna parks, nominate myself for student council.
There.
History begins now! Ooh, good slogan! No, I mean history begins right now.
We don't want to be late for class.
Hey, Cameron.
Want to watch the game? No.
Every time we watch baseball, all you do is make me get food for you from the kitchen.
Well, that's a family tradition.
I got food for my dad, you get food for me, and one day, your son will get food for you.
That is, if you can trick a girl into marrying you.
You mean like you did? Exactly! Another family tradition.
Come on.
Have a seat.
I'll pass.
I got this cool new video game.
You mean like water ballet? No, water ballet is for girls.
You look like a flower shop threw up on your head.
Oh.
Hello, Mr.
parks.
Is chyna home? She's not? Oh, no.
Now I am stuck with this large meat maniac's pizza.
I'm a meat maniac.
You want to come in and watch some baseball? Sure, I'm a big fan of the baseball.
Look out, Cameron.
Make room for the kid with nine kinds of meat.
My name is chyna and I'm running for student council please accept this gift of a number two pounce-cil oh! Paisley! Paisley! Vote for me, paisley! If you do, i'll play my guitar crazily! wow, that totally rocked! But sorry.
I'm not old enough to vote.
You're running for ant rep? Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't think you were running for re-election.
Re-election? I didn't even run the first time! Principal Skidmore made me because no one else would.
She did? Yeah, you'd have to be an idiot to run for ant rep.
Cool poster by the way.
Wait.
I don't understand.
What makes being ant rep so horrible? And thank you.
I made it myself.
You're forced to participate in every student activity.
What's so bad about that? Are you sure this is going to be fun? Of course.
This is going to be super fun.
For us.
Ready? Fire in the hole! Maybe we should have done this outside.
Step right up! Three balls for a dollar! Congratulations! You win a jumbo bunny! Do I have to go home with these people? Hey! What's wrong with the mirror ball? Angus, get back up there! You're ruining the mood! On the bright side, you'll get to go to prom! I can't believe olive set me up! Yeah, well, if no one else ran, olive would be appointed.
How could she do that to me? She's got a dark side.
That's what I dig about her.
Okay, I think I got all the posters down.
Now how do I get my name off the ballot? You can't.
It's all here in black and white.
Sammy sucks his thumb? Not that book, this book.
The student council manual.
Section six, paragraph two.
"No backsies"? Sorry, once you submit a nomination statement, there's nothing you can do.
Really? Angus, is there, like, a feature on our a.
N.
T.
Pad.
For editing what someone says into a completely different sentence? Because that would be awesome.
Angus is four feet of awesome.
That app is on my a.
N.
T.
Pad? That is so cool.
I love that.
I love Angus.
Angus is cool.
Okay, don't make me take that away from you.
Hey, olive, can you help me with my campaign? Someone's running against you? I mean, sure, anything to help.
No one's running against me.
I just really want to get my message out there.
I wrote a campaign song and I need someone to lay a rap on it.
Sure.
I guess I could spit some fire into the m-I-c.
You're such a good friend.
Elf on my window sill next to the doily had some mice stew but it was too olive oily my skills to recount are innately phenomenal four dents in my bumper but the damage is nominal holla! those are some weird lyrics.
You know how kids love random humor.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Monkey pants! I guess you're right.
Olivi, olive Doyle, nomin Nate mice elf for stew dent count sill.
Holla! Hey, Cam.
Are you here to pick me up? Because I've got plans with my friends, teemo and crouton.
We're going to try to come up with better nicknames.
I'm not here for you.
Someone who actually likes spending time with me.
Invited me to tonight's giants game.
Hey, d-bomb! Hey, fletch-dogg! See? Those are nicknames.
Wow, check it out.
We're sitting right on the third base line.
Oh.
And the food's on me.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I can't let you pay those inflated stadium prices.
No, I mean the food is literally on me.
I'll be a mother's kitten Yeah, it's all part of the package.
I'm kind, sweet, dependable.
I'll make some girl very happy some day.
Forget that.
You make me happy right now.
I'll have one Come on, let's get to that game.
You know what? You guys go have fun.
I'm going to hang out here with Taffy and envelope.
We're still working on it.
What the heck? I never nominated myself.
Oh, but you did.
Remember your little rap? Olivi, olive Doyle, nomin Nate mice elf for stew dent count sill.
Holla! Holla! You faked my flow! Hey, I tricked you into running.
Just like you tricked me.
I don't remember that.
Oh, come on! You have a perfect memory.
You remember everything! You remember what you wore for your third birthday party! Floral cardigan, fuchsia button-down, lime green tank top and jeans.
I really need to update my look.
No, actually, it looks really cute on you.
All you need to do is add like a cute purse here.
And then a sparkly belt and that'll be What am I doing? I'm mad at you! Well, I'm sorry.
I panicked, okay.
I can't be a mirror ball.
I'm afraid of heights.
And mirrors.
And balls! Well, I'll see to it that you mop the floor with me in this election! No way.
This election is a huge popularity contest, and no one is less popular than I am.
Oh, posters.
What happened? You felt bad about what you did and you're trying to win? See for yourself.
Why don't you read my campaign promises at the bottom of the poster? "I promise my ideas will knock you out.
" Olive, I am not voting for you! Your poster punched me seven times.
I wish I were a faster reader.
Good, vote for chyna! She's awesome! Stop saying nice things about me.
It won't help anyway.
I hear there's a scandalous video of me that recently surfaced.
Oh, no.
Where will I put all this toxic waste? I'll just dump it here and it'll go right out to the ocean.
Mmm.
That smells really toxic.
This is terrible! There goes my political career! No one will vote for me.
Now that they know about my hatred of mother earth! Guess you're going to kick my butt now.
Now rocket split! Into the twirl! Now into the flamingo Hey, dad! What are you doing? I got two tickets to the movies tonight.
So, who are you taking? Taffy or envelope? No, I thought we could go together.
I even figured out a way to sneak in fresh, hot popcorn.
Check it out.
Plus, I've got salt and butter in my pants.
Ow! Cameron, what are you doing? Seeing you spend time with Fletcher.
Made me miss hanging out with you.
Remember how we used to play catch? You'd throw the ball, I'd run and Chase it.
And sometimes, when we couldn't find the ball, you'd throw a stick.
Are you crying? Yeah.
I got a hot kernel right in the eye! But I do miss those days.
How about we give Fletcher the tickets.
And you and I go outside.
And I'll watch you Chase the neighbor's Cat.
Yes! That's a great idea! Maybe I can take chyna.
Just the two of us.
Alone.
Think you can make that happen, d-bomb? Wait a minute.
I see what's going on.
You're just using my dad to try to get to chyna.
Like it says in that stupid book Angus gave me.
Is that true? If it were, would that make me a resourceful go-getter.
Worthy of your support, praise, and, when the time comes, your blessing? No, that would make you stupid.
Chyna doesn't care about my opinion.
Nobody does.
He's right.
Cameron, let's get to that movie.
Let me go change first.
But you look fine.
Yeah, but the butter just melted.
How dare you pass out these cupcakes with my name on them? They are delicious! Look, I had no choice.
You published that glowing profile of me in the school newspaper.
I looked beautiful in that picture! Hey, girls.
The most recent poll results are in.
Ninety eight percent of boys think I'm the prettiest girl in school.
The other two percent were absent.
Oh, and olive, you're currently favored to win ant rep.
So, what size cannon do you wear? Ha ha! Winner! Attention, students, if elected, I vow to get us more homework each and every night.
Oh, no, you don't! Vote for me and I'll make sure we go to school.
Seven days a week! I will insist that the cafeteria.
Serve nothing but brussels sprouts and cauliflower! I'll outlaw use of the Internet! When you need to look things up, you'll have to go to this building called a library.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! That's enough! You girls have it all wrong.
The students need less homework! Fewer school days! No vegetables! That ant is right! We need easier classes! No math! Lesser grammar! Yeah, lesser grammar! That's the goodest idea I ever hear! Attention students! The election results are in.
Yes, I won student body president again! Long live the queen! Who won the ant seat? Ah, that.
In a shocking landslide victory Please be olive, please be olive.
With 507 votes Please be chyna, please be chyna.
The new ant rep is.
Write-in candidate Cameron parks! What? What? I won? I finally won something? Looks like we lucked out.
Yeah! Sorry I set you up.
Yeah.
I'm sorry I said all those nice things about you.
Wait, how could Cameron win? He isn't even an ant.
Ooh, look, jelly beans.
Oh, man! According to student ordinance 12, section five, the ant rep can be any student, provided they are under 5' tall.
Why does height matter? So you can fit in the cannon! Ooh, nice try.
Want to go again? I've been trying for an hour.
Don't give up! Let me get a corn dog first.
No, you have to win me! I don't want to go home with a total stranger! Winner! Never mind, dad, I'm good!