A Tale Dark & Grimm (2021) s01e05 Episode Script

1
[clunking, whirring]
[thuds]
[whooshing]
[pleasant fairy tale music plays]
[William] Once upon a time,
fairy tales were awesome.
We know, you don't believe us.
You think fairy tales are cute
and pink and full of fairies.
[chitters]
-[whacks]
-Well, they're not.
-Real fairy tales are scary.
-[thuds]
-[adventurous music plays]
-[cawing]
Follow two children
as they venture off into a dark tale.
-[barking]
-A scary tale.
-A strange tale.
-[howls]
-[roars]
-[shrieks]
A… Wait a minute.
-Are you even old enough for this?
-[thudding]
You really think you can handle it?
[demons chuckle, gibber]
-[music rising]
-[sizzling hiss, bubbling]
[hopeful music plays]
[thunder crashes]
Once upon a time, a young girl emerged
from the deep dark woods
feeling that things were looking up.
[ominous music playing]
[gate creaks]
Yes, she still thought
her brother was dead…
-[birds cooing]
-…but she had made it to safety.
[Jacob] Or so she thought.
[ominous music continues]
[gasps]
-[shrieks]
-[gasps, chuckles nervously]
Such a sweet coo.
-[shrieks]
-[gasps, chuckles nervously]
This is fine. Nothing to think about here.
Totally normal place to have a party.
It's going to be really fun, and maybe…
maybe we'll hold hands.
Maybe.
[knocks]
That place looks like
it's haunted and smelly.
I wouldn't go anywhere near it,
and I sleep in a half-empty skull.
Oh, I don't wanna know
what it's half-full of.
Quiet!
While Gretel wrestled
her common sense into submission,
things weren't looking
any better for Hansel…
Although you have won our bet,
you will see there is nothing of value
in front of that fireplace.
Perhaps a stool or an old rug or…
-[gasps] Hansel!
-[Hansel gasps]
-Hello.
-Nothing of value, you say? Hmm.
-Indeed. [chuckles]
-[nickers]
I'm sorry.
I know the library is off-limits, but--
What have you done?!
You shouldn't be in here!
You're supposed to be in your room!
It's a rule!
What a coincidence that this boy
would be right in front of the fireplace.
[chuckles]
[sniffs] Oh…
A superlious vintage.
Innocent, without a trace of guile.
[sniffs] Ugh, you smell
like burnt hair and hot chimneys.
Oh, well, thank you.
[sniffs] Oh. Ugh.
It's pure goodness. Ugh! So good! Ugh.
It makes me sick! If I were to touch you,
I might not ever get the smell off.
-[whimpers] Oh!
-Irregardlessly,
-I am glad that this boy is mine.
-[stammers]
-[cries]
-What?
Sadly, tsk, I cannot take him right now.
There's a certain wolf I must collect.
Apparently, he pretended
to be somebody's grandmother. [chuckles]
Ah… Can you imagine?
I mean, what kind of idiot
would fall for that? [laughs]
Lord Meister?
[whimpers]
-Boy…
-[gasps]
…you will report to Hell
in three days' time
to begin your…
[sinister voice] …eternity of suffering!
Hmm?
-And I will make sure you are…
-[gasps]
-Ah!
-…in unbearable pain forever.
And it will never, ever stop.
[chuckles] Even if you say…
-[gasps]
-…"Pretty please with a cherry on top."
-Ah! Ah!
-[laughs]
-[thuds]
-[laughs]
No! I know I wasn't supposed to be
in the library, but I'm a good boy!
I learned all the rules!
And Lord Meister would never
let anything bad happen to me!
About that… [chuckles nervously]
-[gasps]
-Oh, my dear boy.
Your beloved Lord Meister lost you
to me… in a bet!
-[laughs]
-[stammers]
But I was good.
[sad music plays]
-[laughs]
-[sinister music plays]
Ah, these are the moments
that make life worthwhile.
I'll see you in three days.
-[music intensifies]
-[laughs evilly]
-[slams shut]
-[music stops]
-Don't make me come looking for you.
-[gasps]
-You'll regret it.
-[gasps]
And so will your sister.
-Gretel! No!
-[whoosh]
You weren't supposed to be here.
It's a rule.
So this is really all your fault.
My fault? But I…
[sighs] Aw.
[wind gusting]
-[door creaks]
-[ominous music plays]
-[slams shut]
-[whimpers]
It's fine. It's fine.
That young man will be here,
and everything will be perfect.
There might even be dancing.
[ominous music continues]
It doesn't look like much of a party.
-You'd think he'd have cleaned up the…
-[eerie, clanging sting]
…skulls.
[tense note plays]
-Ah!
-Oh!
What are you screaming for?
You're the one who didn't knock.
I… I'm sorry.
I'm here for the party?
[hesitantly] Oh, uh, my son's party.
Oh, right, of course.
You're one of my son's vict--
friends.
Victfriends… is a word I just made up.
-[chuckles]
-Um… I… Is this the wrong day?
Oh, no, no. You're just early, dear.
Have a seat…
[dramatic stings]
-…somewhere.
-[creaks]
Or maybe just stand. [groans uncertainly]
It is hard to be hospitable
in here, isn't it? [chuckles]
Now, how about some refreshments?
-Let's see, fizzy denture water…
-[bubbling]
…floating eyeball, rat tea?
-[dramatic sting]
-[gasps] Uh…
No, thank you. I'm not thirsty.
[dramatically] Gaze upon
the mystic eye of--
-Oh no!
-[rattling]
Oh, that looks so painful.
Let me help you get out of those chains.
[sputters] No, no, no, no, just be a dear
and hop up on that table to wait.
[dramatic sting]
These are really digging into your ankles.
-Who did this to you?
-What?
[stammers] Oh, I did.
Yes, it helps me build up my calf muscles.
-I'm going to be a figure skater.
-Do you know where the key is?
Or do you have a chicken bone?
-[grunting]
-Stop moving, I'm trying to help you.
[stammers] Why would you help me?
What do you care, huh?
You're in pain.
Only a monster would watch
someone suffer and do nothing.
[sniffles] Then…
Then…
I am a monster!
[sobs]
I'm sorry!
I'm so sorry! [crying]
I've seen so much suffering
and done nothing.
[sobs]
You like my son, don't you?
-[chuckles shyly]
-You shouldn't. He's not what he seems.
He's a fiend, a murderer, a warlock!
[gasps] He can't be the same young man.
He's so nice and… and handsome.
He steals the souls of young girls
to power his magical golden twine.
Then he uses it to fix things for people,
but only to trick them,
to earn their trust,
to lure them in, to steal their souls,
to power his twine, to lure them in,
to steal their souls, to power his…
Now that I think about it,
it's a bit of a vicious circle.
No, no, no, no, this isn't possible.
Oh, he's gotten away with it
for a hundred years.
But his dark magic keeps him young.
And it also erases
everyone's memories of his victims.
-No one remembers they ever existed.
-[gasps]
[sniffles] But it's all my fault.
I taught him this magic.
-And now I'm his prisoner.
-[chains rattle]
-[sobs softly]
-Why are you telling me this?
-[gentle music playing]
-Oh, you were kind.
No one has ever tried to help me before.
Oh, I can't bear to see him hurt you
the way he hurt all the others.
I deserve to be hurt.
I was stupid.
I followed my heart instead of my head,
and it led me here.
[sobs, inhales sharply]
I should just give up.
I let my brother be killed.
[sniffles] Now I can join him.
[sobs]
My child, your brother Hansel
is not dead.
-[dramatic sting]
-What?
I saw him die! How do you know his name?
Don't question me!
I'm obviously a witch, girl!
See the pointy nose and the wart? Behold!
[clanks]
-[magic power hums]
-[gasps] Oh…
The bowl of scrying.
[recites incantation]
[sighs] I might as well go to the Devil.
-[crickets chirping]
-I'm bad. I'll always be bad.
No one has ever cared about me.
Except Gretel.
And she'll never wanna see me again.
-[nickers]
-[giggles]
You can't come with me, Jehorsephat.
Stay here where you can get fed
and get your nose patted every day,
like you deserve.
[neighs loudly]
-[whimsical music plays]
-Oh, and if you get a chance,
kick Lord Meister right in the butt.
[neighs]
[laughs]
[gloomy music plays]
Ugh, how could things get any worse? Wah!
[dramatic music plays]
-[whooshes]
-[gasps]
He needs me! I have to go to him.
Yes! Do it! Get out of here!
Run away before my son gets back!
-[young man] Right this way.
-[gasps] It's too late! Hide!
[whimpering]
[witch humming]
Here we are, Hannah. Come on in.
[chuckles nervously] Oh, hello, son.
Um…
Where are the other guests?
-[magic power humming eerily]
-[whispers incantation]
[gasps]
[whoosh]
[sinister sting]
Oh, you'll join them, soon enough.
[chuckles evilly]
Zah!
[laughs]
-[whoosh]
-[grunts]
[in deep voice] Your soul is mine.
[whimpers]
[tinkles]
Ugh!
-That was so nasty!
-What's the problem?
That guy just helped that bird
by pulling it out of that girl!
He's a hero!
Also, she should really
start chewing her food.
That's not what happened!
That dove was her soul.
Birds are souls?!
[gasps] Am I somebody's soul?
Oh my God, I hope not.
No, I mean the warlock
turned her soul into a dove,
after draining its magic into some twine!
[crickets chirping]
Forget it. Can I move on?
Maybe someday. With therapy.
It's not gonna be easy.
[suspenseful music plays]
-[coos]
-[chuckles]
[hissing]
[whooshing]
[clinks]
[clinks]
[sinister music plays]
[gasps]
-[William] Meanwhile--
-[Jacob] Why you interrupting?
-[William] I'm building tension!
-[Jacob] Okay.
Who are you?
Don't be afraid.
I am your friend.
I'm sorry that I've been following you--
Wait. You've been… following me?
Perhaps we got off on the wrong foot.
Hi, I'm Johannes,
and I can help you go to Hell.
[tense sting]
Oh, that did not sound better.
I can find my own way there.
Why should I trust you anyway?
You definitely shouldn't.
Trusting strangers hasn't worked out
great for you so far, has it?
No, it hasn't.
Good, be smart, learn from your mistakes.
But why should I follow you?
You wanna take me to Hell.
Don't you need to go to Hell?
That's a good point.
Johannes, can I call you JoJo?
Hmm…
Nope.
-[Hansel] Please?
-Uh-uh.
[William] At the same time,
Gretel was in terrible danger.
-[gasps]
-[swishes]
Mother, are you hiding something?
No, son.
-[tense music playing]
-Just cooking.
[whistles innocently]
Oh, well, if you're not hiding anything,
then you won't mind if I do… this!
-[dramatic sting]
-[skittering]
What are you doing? [chuckles nervously]
-[tense music continues]
-Aha!
-[panting]
-[twinkles]
[whimpers softly]
[grunts]
-[witch] Oh, my!
-[clattering]
-Uh, whoops.
-Mumsy!
Dearie me.
[chuckles] I'm such a butterfingers.
-[pants]
-[man] You ruined my potion!
Now I'm gonna have to go back out
into the forest and get more wolfsbane!
-[clangs]
-[growls]
-[clatters]
-[muttering]
[gasps, grunts]
-Get out! Go! As fast as you can!
-[coughing]
You should be safe
if you run towards the village!
[spits]
What about you?!
-[straining]
-The-- the shackles are enchanted.
They can't be opened while he's alive.
Forget me.
-Just get to safety.
-[tragic music playing]
Thank you.
[sniffles, sobs quietly]
[panting fearfully]
[birds cooing softly]
How can there be so many?
[panting fearfully]
[bird coos]
I can't just leave you here.
-[coos]
-[magic whooshes]
No, you can't free us!
The cages won't open
as long as the warlock lives!
-You must go!
-[whoosh]
But please tell our families
what has happened!
It's bad enough
to be a soul trapped forever,
but to be forgotten is unbearable!
[gasps] Tell me your names.
I'll remember.
-Aurora!
-Deborah!
-Sybil!
-Annabelle!
-Clotilda!
-Phillipa!
-Jane!
-Susanna!
-Katherine!
-Guinevere!
-Sarah!
-Edna!
-Aurora!
-Audrey!
-Go!
-Go!
I will remember!
-[bird] Go!
-[pants]
-[dramatic music plays]
-Annabelle, Deborah, Eva…
[William] Once upon a time, an old man
led a young boy to see the Devil.
After much travel, they came to a village.
Go away. Can't you read the sign?
[Hansel reads]
Please. I'm a little boy
on my way to meet the Devil in Hell.
[groans] Every day
is Hell in this village.
We have a magic fountain that used
to provide unlimited melted chocolate.
[both] Chocolate? Mmm.
Everyone would come…
-[door opens]
-Whoa!
…dip their fruit, marshmallows,
small pieces of cake.
But now everything stinks
because it stopped working.
-[rat squeaking]
-Devil knows why.
[Hansel] Oh. He does?
-Then I'll ask him.
-[stammers] No, kid, it's an expression.
Well, I'm gonna see him anyway.
It's really no trouble.
So, is there any cake left?
Yeah, gross, dry cake.
[sighs]
[William] The next day, they continued on,
and came to a gold foundry.
-[birds chirping]
-Go away!
I have to report to Hell.
Please give me a place to rest
before I'm damned for all eternity.
[groans] Okay. But if you steal anything,
I'll chop your head off!
Been there.
I'm sorry I'm so suspicious.
-[door opens]
-Whoa.
We have a beautiful apple tree
that used to give us an unlimited supply
of golden apples.
One day, it stopped bearing fruit.
-[thuds]
-The Devil knows why.
I'll ask him when I see him.
Thanks, kid.
You seem really nice,
but maybe not so smart.
I'm going there anyway.
It's really no trouble.
[whoosh, thud]
[whoosh]
[William] The next day
was Hansel's last day on Earth.
And on that day, he and Johannes
came upon a ferryman
at a river.
-[ominous music plays]
-[water splashing rhythmically]
[dramatic sting]
[breathes deeply]
[gentle music plays]
All aboard who's going to Hell.
Oh, man. I hate my job.
I hate my life.
I hate everything. I hate water.
I hate this boat.
I hate this paddle.
You seem sad. Don't you like your job?
It seems fun.
Fun? Fun?
I never get to leave this boat.
I'm stuck here.
I don't sleep, there's nothing to eat
but raw fish, there's no coffee breaks,
and don't even get me started
about going to the bathroom.
I'm trapped. The Devil knows why.
-I'll be meeting him soon, I'll ask him.
-Right.
I'm sure you'll have nothing
better to talk about.
-[eerie music plays]
-[gasps]
[thuds softly]
[sinister music plays]
-[panting]
-[dramatic music plays]
Uh, Sybil, uh, Juliana,
Jane, Clarice, Constance…
-Uh… Oh, oh…
-[thunder rumbles]
Edna, uh, Sandra! [pants]
[Rain] I warned you.
But did you listen to me?
No.
That tree in the wood of life
was right, you are dumb.
Shut up!
No one likes smug weather!
-[thunder cracks]
-[Rain] I'm not smug, you're smug.
[Gretel] Amanda, Charlotte,
Audrey, Felisha, Susanna!
[Hansel sighs] I must really be bad
if I wound up here.
Even when I was trying
my hardest to be good.
No, Hansel, even while
you were on your way to Hell,
you were still trying to help people.
Only a very good person would do that.
[sighs] I might as well be here.
I can never see my sister again.
-Why not?
-I…
I tried to kill her.
She must be so mad at me.
She didn't seem that mad when I saw her.
You saw Gretel?
[Johannes] Yes.
She seemed sad.
She was holding this toy.
A dragon… A dragon, I think.
That's my dragon! That's mine!
If she kept it, that means she misses me!
[gasps] Maybe she forgives me!
I could see her again!
But… I have to be here.
[inhales sadly]
I have to go to Hell
when I could be with Gretel.
There's still hope.
I know a secret way to escape from Hell.
[sniffles] Seems like something
you could've mentioned earlier.
Hansel, if you can steal three golden
hairs from the Devil's head,
he will have no power over you
and you might be able to get away.
I can just run out?
He can still stab you
with his pitchfork or whatever.
You'll still have to get past the demons,
but none of them will be
able to use their magic against you.
You'll have a ghost of a chance.
The very faintest.
But won't plucking the Devil's hairs
make him mad?
That sounds like
it would just make things worse!
Why should I trust you?
[sighs]
Because I was in Hell.
-[sinister music plays]
-And while I was there,
I learned a thing or two.
And you got nothing else, kid.
[sighs deeply]
-[wind whistling]
-[door rumbling]
[dramatic music plays]
I'm sorry, I can't go with you.
But I will wait for you right here.
[slams shut]
Welcome to Hell. My name is Asmodeus.
So, you'll be taking me to see the Devil?
No. I will be showing you around,
then I will be boiling you alive.
-[whoosh]
-[person screams]
-Then the Devil?
-Get a move on, kiddo!
[eerie music plays]
On your left,
there are people being tortured.
If you look a little past that,
you will see people being tortured.
Up ahead, there are people being tortured.
Now follow me, and I will show you
some people being tortured.
It's always about the torment
with you, Asmodeus.
Couldn't you point out
our newly remodeled break room?
[indistinct conversations]
And work on your delivery, mate.
How is he supposed
to be interested, if you're not?
Ooh! Whoa! [grunts]
I, for one,
found his delivery fascinating.
Please, continue.
Thank you.
Oh, suck up.
On your left,
you will see people being tortured.
-[men groaning]
-[whistle blows]
Hey, more pee in the pool!
[Mrs. Baker] No! Stop! Please! [grunting]
-Hi, Mrs. Baker.
-Stop! Please, stop! Oh!
Pretty please with a cherry on top?
Let me think about that. Hmm.
No! I think instead of stopping,
we'll have more torment!
-[wailing] No!
-[whooshes, crackles]
-No!
-[bubbling]
Oh, Hansel!
I'm so sorry for what I did! Oh!
I know I deserve to be here!
Yes, you do.
[gulps]
[hesitantly] Excuse me.
-[wailing]
-She did some terrible things,
but she's sorry.
Can't you let her go? Please?
Let her go? What kind of Hell
would this be if we did that?
Wait, aren't you the one who killed her?
Well, I was there.
It is written in The Great
and Terrible Book of Hell,
no takesie backsies.
[wailing]
Hansel!
You know, I've been thinking
about what you said about stopping.
And it gave me an idea.
-[demons chuckling]
-[Mrs. Baker screaming]
[manacles click]
[chains clinking]
So, am I gonna see the Devil now?
-No. You're way too low level.
-We're going to be torturing you.
-Take that. [grunts]
-[boing]
-And that. [laughs]
-[boing]
[demons] Ha!
-[Asmodeus] Take that.
-[demons] Ha!
-[Asmodeus] Ha!
-[demon] Ha, ha!
-Huh. You'd think torment would hurt.
-[demon] Ha!
-Ha, ha, ha!
-And some more of that.
-[boinging]
-[demons grunting]
[yawns]
[grunting slows]
-Ha!
-[demon chuckles]
-Ha!
-[boing]
-[groans]
-[yawns]
Maybe you don't understand.
We're torturing you.
Oh, no, I get it.
It's most painful and frightening.
Yes, you're very good at it.
[boing]
Can't you at least scream?
[screams unenthusiastically] Ah…
I get very uncomfortable
when they don't scream.
Yeah. This has gone all kinds of wrong.
Well, you might have
to take me to your boss.
No, no, no.
We just gotta try something else.
[whimsical music plays]
[Hansel straining]
Phew.
[both scream] Ooph!
[demons giggling]
[sighs]
[screeching]
[chuckles]
[chains rattle]
[snaps]
[splats]
-[snipping]
-[whip cracks]
[Asmodeus sobbing]
I don't even feel
like a real demon anymore.
Nah, nah, nah, nah,
you're still very frightening.
Don't let him get to you.
Look at what you did to him.
He's a mess!
I'm sorry. Should I try screaming again?
[sobbing]
Your screams are lies!
Look, it's not you.
-You guys are both great.
-[sobs]
I mean, terrible.
It's just that I've suffered so much,
none of this seems so bad.
No one's suffered that much.
I have.
First my parents chopped off my head.
[gasps] Who would do such a thing?
Then I was almost cooked
and eaten by Mrs. Baker.
Nah. Really?
Then I turned into a monster
and almost killed my sister,
and my adopted father
gambled me away to the Devil.
-Ooh, that's low!
-[gasps]
Okay, keep going, keep going.
These are great ideas.
And I got killed by hunters, but I came
back when they cut me out of my own belly.
[retches]
I'm gonna be sick.
And the worst thing of all is
-I'll never see my sister again.
-[sad music plays]
Compared to all that,
what you're doing is nothing.
[sobs]
I'm sorry I'm not being tortured right.
I really am trying, but…
[Asmodeus continues sobbing]
I guess I'll have to see your boss now.
Yeah, he's right.
[clanks]
We're gonna have to take him to…
the Devil himself.
-[both chuckle wickedly]
-[whimsical violin music plays]
-[chuckling continues]
-[steam hissing]
Up ahead, you will see the Devil's house.
It was built of human bones.
The Devil harvested them all himself.
Those bones are still alive, by the way.
If you listen closely,
you can hear them screaming.
[voices screaming]
[demons chuckling]
-[wind gusting]
-[panting]
[groans loudly]
[panting]
I'm safe! I'm safe! I'm safe!
Oh…
Oh, Drago,
if he knew I was there he'd kill me.
But it's okay, I can find Hansel now.
There's no way that warlock
can know I was there. There's no way he…
-[gasps] No!
-[dramatic sting]
-No, no, no, no, no, no.
-[old woman] No, no, no, no, no!
[panting]
No!
-[young man] Well, Mother…
-[gasps]
…that's a familiar handprint.
-[old woman gasps]
-[chuckles]
Once upon a time,
things looked dark and grim
for a young girl and her brother.
But on the plus side…
-[heroic music plays]
-[whimpers]
[screams] Oh!
[neighs loudly]
-[dramatic sting]
-[music ends]
[closing theme song plays]
[Hansel and Gretel]
When the darkness opens wide ♪
Swallowing up the sun inside ♪
Dappled stars, they prick the sky ♪
Blanket on which the moon will lie ♪
Why must daylight always dim? ♪
Creeping dusk so cold and grim ♪
'Tis the blackness of the night ♪
-Teaches us how to see the light ♪
-[song fades]