Adam Ruins Everything (2015) s01e05 Episode Script
Adam Ruins Restaurants
1 So I was like, "You can't "Gone Girl" someone if you say you're "Gone Girl"-ing him.
" "Gone Girl" someone if you say you're "Gone Girl"-ing him.
" Yeah, that is too true.
you're "Gone Girl"-ing him.
" Yeah, that is too true.
Okay, wait, wait, wait.
Yeah, that is too true.
Okay, wait, wait, wait.
To girls night.
Okay, wait, wait, wait.
To girls night.
Girls night.
To girls night.
Girls night.
No rush, ladies.
Girls night.
No rush, ladies.
Just whenever you get a chance.
No rush, ladies.
Just whenever you get a chance.
Thanks.
Just whenever you get a chance.
Thanks.
Here, let me get it, because Thanks.
Here, let me get it, because I did just get a raise.
Here, let me get it, because I did just get a raise.
Thanks, Emily.
I did just get a raise.
Thanks, Emily.
How much should I tip? Thanks, Emily.
How much should I tip? In a perfect world, nothing.
How much should I tip? In a perfect world, nothing.
(dishes shatter) In a perfect world, nothing.
(dishes shatter) Oh, sorry.
(dishes shatter) Oh, sorry.
Why are you here? Oh, sorry.
Why are you here? I eat here all the time.
Why are you here? I eat here all the time.
Were you eating dinner I eat here all the time.
Were you eating dinner with a plant? Were you eating dinner with a plant? Of course not.
with a plant? Of course not.
Happy to join you.
Of course not.
Happy to join you.
Hi, I'm Adam.
Happy to join you.
Hi, I'm Adam.
Adam, these are my friends, Hi, I'm Adam.
Adam, these are my friends, "Go Away" and "You Don't Need To Adam, these are my friends, "Go Away" and "You Don't Need To Know.
" Now scram.
"Go Away" and "You Don't Need To Know.
" Now scram.
It's okay.
Know.
" Now scram.
It's okay.
Hi, I'm Veronica and this is It's okay.
Hi, I'm Veronica and this is Haylie.
Hi, I'm Veronica and this is Haylie.
No.
No, no, no.
Haylie.
No.
No, no, no.
Don't be nice to him.
No.
No, no, no.
Don't be nice to him.
He's just going to destroy Don't be nice to him.
He's just going to destroy something we love.
He's just going to destroy something we love.
Oh, God.
something we love.
Oh, God.
It's restaurants, isn't it? Oh, God.
It's restaurants, isn't it? No, I love restaurants.
It's restaurants, isn't it? No, I love restaurants.
Oh, God, phew.
No, I love restaurants.
Oh, God, phew.
But you must admit that some Oh, God, phew.
But you must admit that some restaurant customs are pretty But you must admit that some restaurant customs are pretty weird.
restaurant customs are pretty weird.
No.
weird.
No.
Ugh, why would anyone give you a TV show? Because I'm so handsome? you a TV show? Because I'm so handsome? Oh, honey.
Because I'm so handsome? Oh, honey.
That can't be why.
Oh, honey.
That can't be why.
Okay, so you don't like That can't be why.
Okay, so you don't like tipping.
Okay, so you don't like tipping.
Oh, no, not at all.
tipping.
Oh, no, not at all.
And I understand that right now, Oh, no, not at all.
And I understand that right now, you probably hate me for even And I understand that right now, you probably hate me for even daring to question the custom.
you probably hate me for even daring to question the custom.
Yeah, what the fudge? daring to question the custom.
Yeah, what the fudge? Oh, sorry.
Yeah, what the fudge? Oh, sorry.
But hear me out.
Oh, sorry.
But hear me out.
By the time I'm done, I think But hear me out.
By the time I'm done, I think you'll agree that tipping is a By the time I'm done, I think you'll agree that tipping is a custom we'd be better off you'll agree that tipping is a custom we'd be better off without.
custom we'd be better off without.
Sorry.
without.
Sorry.
I don't tip.
Sorry.
I don't tip.
I'm not gonna tip just 'cause I don't tip.
I'm not gonna tip just 'cause society says I got to.
I'm not gonna tip just 'cause society says I got to.
Let's get one thing straight, society says I got to.
Let's get one thing straight, if you live in America, you have to tip.
Restaurants here can legally pay their servers less than minimum wage.
As little as three bucks an wage.
As little as three bucks an hour.
As little as three bucks an hour.
As long as that's true, if you don't tip, you're a bad person.
I'm getting out of here.
Jerk.
But just because that's the system we have, doesn't mean But just because that's the system we have, doesn't mean it's a good system, and system we have, doesn't mean it's a good system, and restaurant tipping is a custom that shortchanges servers, inconveniences customers, and makes the dining experience inconveniences customers, and makes the dining experience worse for everyone.
Oh, sorry.
First, ask yourself this-- why is it our responsibility to First, ask yourself this-- why is it our responsibility to pay the restaurant's employees why is it our responsibility to pay the restaurant's employees fairly? pay the restaurant's employees fairly? Like, why don't they just pay fairly? Like, why don't they just pay you a normal amount of money and Like, why don't they just pay you a normal amount of money and make the food more expensive? you a normal amount of money and make the food more expensive? That's what every business has make the food more expensive? That's what every business has done since the dawn of time.
That's what every business has done since the dawn of time.
When you buy a shirt, it's just done since the dawn of time.
When you buy a shirt, it's just 50 bucks.
When you buy a shirt, it's just 50 bucks.
They're not like, okay, that'll 50 bucks.
They're not like, okay, that'll be $40, and you decide the stock They're not like, okay, that'll be $40, and you decide the stock boy eats tonight.
be $40, and you decide the stock boy eats tonight.
Oh, wow.
boy eats tonight.
Oh, wow.
Guess you're going hungry.
Oh, wow.
Guess you're going hungry.
No, it's his fault, not mine.
Guess you're going hungry.
No, it's his fault, not mine.
Bogus.
No, it's his fault, not mine.
Bogus.
In most countries, restaurant Bogus.
In most countries, restaurant tipping isn't mandatory and even In most countries, restaurant tipping isn't mandatory and even in America, it's a relatively tipping isn't mandatory and even in America, it's a relatively new custom.
in America, it's a relatively new custom.
For most of our history, tipping new custom.
For most of our history, tipping was considered an undemocratic For most of our history, tipping was considered an undemocratic form of bribery.
was considered an undemocratic form of bribery.
Serve me before this rabble, form of bribery.
Serve me before this rabble, won't you? Serve me before this rabble, won't you? I'm a very wealthy man.
won't you? I'm a very wealthy man.
I shan't, sir.
I'm a very wealthy man.
I shan't, sir.
This is America, where every man I shan't, sir.
This is America, where every man has the right to decent service.
This is America, where every man has the right to decent service.
But after prohibition banned has the right to decent service.
But after prohibition banned the sale of alcohol, restaurant But after prohibition banned the sale of alcohol, restaurant profits cratered, the sale of alcohol, restaurant profits cratered, and restaurant owners started profits cratered, and restaurant owners started encouraging servers to accept and restaurant owners started encouraging servers to accept tips because it meant they could encouraging servers to accept tips because it meant they could pay them less.
tips because it meant they could pay them less.
Sorry, Ollie.
pay them less.
Sorry, Ollie.
I can't afford to pay you this Sorry, Ollie.
I can't afford to pay you this month.
I can't afford to pay you this month.
You better go take that fat month.
You better go take that fat cat's cash.
A century later, we're still stuck with the same system, turning what used to be a bribe stuck with the same system, turning what used to be a bribe into an obligation that makes the end of every meal suck, unless your idea of a good time is bickering with your friends unless your idea of a good time is bickering with your friends about math.
is bickering with your friends about math.
Just tip 15%.
about math.
Just tip 15%.
15? Just tip 15%.
15? Clearly, you've never worked in 15? Clearly, you've never worked in the service industry.
Clearly, you've never worked in the service industry.
I always tip at least 60.
the service industry.
I always tip at least 60.
Guys, everyone knows the rule I always tip at least 60.
Guys, everyone knows the rule is 20%, so I'm just gonna tip Guys, everyone knows the rule is 20%, so I'm just gonna tip that, problem solved.
is 20%, so I'm just gonna tip that, problem solved.
Okay.
that, problem solved.
Okay.
If you think the rule is so Okay.
If you think the rule is so clear, let me ask you this.
If you think the rule is so clear, let me ask you this.
20% before or after tax? clear, let me ask you this.
20% before or after tax? Before.
20% before or after tax? Before.
After.
Before.
After.
Ugh After.
Ugh I like it.
If I give better service, I earn better tips.
Actually, you don't.
better tips.
Actually, you don't.
Research shows that only 2% of the difference in tips left by different parties is explainable by the quality and service.
different parties is explainable by the quality and service.
In other words, no matter how by the quality and service.
In other words, no matter how good of a job you do, you'll be In other words, no matter how good of a job you do, you'll be tipped about the same.
good of a job you do, you'll be tipped about the same.
Seriously? tipped about the same.
Seriously? Well, then screw this.
Seriously? Well, then screw this.
Yep.
Well, then screw this.
Yep.
Should we not tip him? Yep.
Should we not tip him? No, I don't want to get Should we not tip him? No, I don't want to get yelled at.
No, I don't want to get yelled at.
Just give him 18%.
yelled at.
Just give him 18%.
And the worst part is, Just give him 18%.
And the worst part is, tipping results in wage And the worst part is, tipping results in wage discrimination.
tipping results in wage discrimination.
The research also shows that discrimination.
The research also shows that black servers are tipped less The research also shows that black servers are tipped less than white servers across the black servers are tipped less than white servers across the board.
than white servers across the board.
Um, I think I forgot board.
Um, I think I forgot something.
Um, I think I forgot something.
Uh, just I'll get that.
Oh.
I feel bad.
Oh.
I feel bad.
And considering that racially I feel bad.
And considering that racially discriminatory pay is against And considering that racially discriminatory pay is against the law, it's kind of surprising discriminatory pay is against the law, it's kind of surprising that this entire system isn't the law, it's kind of surprising that this entire system isn't straight up illegal.
that this entire system isn't straight up illegal.
Oh, my God.
straight up illegal.
Oh, my God.
Okay, that's terrible, but Oh, my God.
Okay, that's terrible, but what can we do about it? Okay, that's terrible, but what can we do about it? I mean, we can't change the what can we do about it? I mean, we can't change the restaurant industry.
I mean, we can't change the restaurant industry.
No, but restaurants can and restaurant industry.
No, but restaurants can and some already are.
Meet Gabriel Frem and Christy Kuriakose from Brand 158 in Glendale, California.
Kuriakose from Brand 158 in Glendale, California.
Gabriel, would you tell these guys a little bit about your restaurant? Sure.
restaurant? Sure.
At Brand 158, we instituted a Sure.
At Brand 158, we instituted a no-tipping policy, and that's At Brand 158, we instituted a no-tipping policy, and that's been a great success.
no-tipping policy, and that's been a great success.
For our guests, they feel like been a great success.
For our guests, they feel like they're in a nurturing For our guests, they feel like they're in a nurturing environment where they can they're in a nurturing environment where they can relax, enjoy their meal, and not environment where they can relax, enjoy their meal, and not have to worry about doing math relax, enjoy their meal, and not have to worry about doing math at the end of the meal to figure have to worry about doing math at the end of the meal to figure out what to tip.
at the end of the meal to figure out what to tip.
And for our servers, it creates out what to tip.
And for our servers, it creates stable income so that they can And for our servers, it creates stable income so that they can focus on our guests.
stable income so that they can focus on our guests.
We don't do it because we feel focus on our guests.
We don't do it because we feel charitable, we do it because We don't do it because we feel charitable, we do it because it's good business to take care charitable, we do it because it's good business to take care of your people so that they can it's good business to take care of your people so that they can take care of your customers like of your people so that they can take care of your customers like any other business.
take care of your customers like any other business.
But what does the staff any other business.
But what does the staff think? But what does the staff think? Oh, the employees love it, think? Oh, the employees love it, let me tell you.
Oh, the employees love it, let me tell you.
As a server, the fact that I let me tell you.
As a server, the fact that I have a stable income is As a server, the fact that I have a stable income is absolutely fantastic.
have a stable income is absolutely fantastic.
I even have benefits.
absolutely fantastic.
I even have benefits.
Are you hiring? I even have benefits.
Are you hiring? We're always looking for good Are you hiring? We're always looking for good people.
We're always looking for good people.
That does sound like a better people.
That does sound like a better system.
That does sound like a better system.
It is, but until the rest of system.
It is, but until the rest of the restaurants catch up, It is, but until the rest of the restaurants catch up, you still have to tip.
the restaurants catch up, you still have to tip.
So, uh, pay up.
you still have to tip.
So, uh, pay up.
Your friend is super fun, So, uh, pay up.
Your friend is super fun, Emily.
Your friend is super fun, Emily.
Yeah, I know what I'm doing.
Emily.
Yeah, I know what I'm doing.
I need a drink.
Yeah, I know what I'm doing.
I need a drink.
Show me your moonlight I need a drink.
Show me your moonlight Yay! Taking a shot! Show me your moonlight Yay! Taking a shot! Oh, Jagermeister.
Named after Hermann Goring's huntmasters, or "Jagermeisters" of the Nazi era.
huntmasters, or "Jagermeisters" of the Nazi era.
What the hell? You're going to ruin our drinks for us? You know, my ride share is drinks for us? You know, my ride share is almost here, but what the heck, You know, my ride share is almost here, but what the heck, I'll cancel it.
What can I get you ladies? Well, I really like What can I get you ladies? Well, I really like craft beer.
Well, I really like craft beer.
Something super artisanal.
craft beer.
Something super artisanal.
Maybe like a Goose Stop.
Something super artisanal.
Maybe like a Goose Stop.
You mean a Miller Bud? Maybe like a Goose Stop.
You mean a Miller Bud? No, Goose Stop.
You mean a Miller Bud? No, Goose Stop.
Miller Bud.
No, Goose Stop.
Miller Bud.
Goose Stop! Miller Bud.
Goose Stop! Miller Bud! Goose Stop! Miller Bud! Look, I don't know what you Miller Bud! Look, I don't know what you think "craft beer" means.
Look, I don't know what you think "craft beer" means.
It means it comes with an think "craft beer" means.
It means it comes with an orange slice.
It means it comes with an orange slice.
But many of the most popular orange slice.
But many of the most popular craft beers are actually brewed But many of the most popular craft beers are actually brewed by giant corporations.
craft beers are actually brewed by giant corporations.
The term is totally unregulated by giant corporations.
The term is totally unregulated and can be used by anyone.
The term is totally unregulated and can be used by anyone.
Whatever.
and can be used by anyone.
Whatever.
I want a real drink.
Whatever.
I want a real drink.
A whiskey.
I want a real drink.
A whiskey.
How about that one? A whiskey.
How about that one? The bottle is way old, there's a How about that one? The bottle is way old, there's a cabin on the label, and it's $15 The bottle is way old, there's a cabin on the label, and it's $15 a glass, so you know it's good.
cabin on the label, and it's $15 a glass, so you know it's good.
You got it.
a glass, so you know it's good.
You got it.
Oh, excuse me.
You got it.
Oh, excuse me.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Oh, excuse me.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Here we go.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Here we go.
No, the fancy one! Here we go.
No, the fancy one! But what's the difference? No, the fancy one! But what's the difference? It's the same whiskey.
But what's the difference? It's the same whiskey.
Many supposedly "small batch" It's the same whiskey.
Many supposedly "small batch" bourbons and ryes are just the Many supposedly "small batch" bourbons and ryes are just the same liquor slightly changed bourbons and ryes are just the same liquor slightly changed with a cooler label.
Time for a refill.
(cackling) All right, ladies, would you like to see our wine list? That sounds perfect.
Yes, let's talk about wine.
There are so many.
How am I supposed to choose? There are so many.
How am I supposed to choose? Have you ever noticed that How am I supposed to choose? Have you ever noticed that when it's time to choose a wine, Have you ever noticed that when it's time to choose a wine, none of us feel like we know when it's time to choose a wine, none of us feel like we know what we're doing? none of us feel like we know what we're doing? This one's fancy, I think.
what we're doing? This one's fancy, I think.
Since we can't taste the This one's fancy, I think.
Since we can't taste the wines before we buy them, we're Since we can't taste the wines before we buy them, we're forced to pick just based on the wines before we buy them, we're forced to pick just based on the label.
forced to pick just based on the label.
This one has a frog wearing a label.
This one has a frog wearing a hat, so I bet that tastes This one has a frog wearing a hat, so I bet that tastes like mossy? hat, so I bet that tastes like mossy? This one's by Francis Ford like mossy? This one's by Francis Ford Coppola.
This one's by Francis Ford Coppola.
I like his movies, so I bet it Coppola.
I like his movies, so I bet it tastes like, um, "The I like his movies, so I bet it tastes like, um, "The Godfather"? tastes like, um, "The Godfather"? This one says ketchup.
Godfather"? This one says ketchup.
Am I holding a bottle of This one says ketchup.
Am I holding a bottle of ketchup? Am I holding a bottle of ketchup? And even when we do taste ketchup? And even when we do taste them, we doubt our own opinions.
And even when we do taste them, we doubt our own opinions.
Mmm, this is dry.
them, we doubt our own opinions.
Mmm, this is dry.
This one's full bodied? Mmm, this is dry.
This one's full bodied? Are you sure? This one's full bodied? Are you sure? No, what is a wine body? Are you sure? No, what is a wine body? Yeah, this is clearly wet.
No, what is a wine body? Yeah, this is clearly wet.
So we defer to the opinions Yeah, this is clearly wet.
So we defer to the opinions of so-called "wine experts.
" So we defer to the opinions of so-called "wine experts.
" Perhaps I can be of some of so-called "wine experts.
" Perhaps I can be of some assistance, ladies.
Perhaps I can be of some assistance, ladies.
Oh, thank God.
assistance, ladies.
Oh, thank God.
Tell us what tastes good.
Oh, thank God.
Tell us what tastes good.
I've been pretending this Tell us what tastes good.
I've been pretending this whole time.
I've been pretending this whole time.
But the truth is, everyone is whole time.
But the truth is, everyone is pretending because even though But the truth is, everyone is pretending because even though wine connoisseurs want us to pretending because even though wine connoisseurs want us to believe that their ratings are wine connoisseurs want us to believe that their ratings are objective believe that their ratings are objective That one's fit to drink, objective That one's fit to drink, that is cheap swill, and that is That one's fit to drink, that is cheap swill, and that is a bottle of ketchup.
that is cheap swill, and that is a bottle of ketchup.
and they have supernatural a bottle of ketchup.
and they have supernatural powers of wine discernment.
and they have supernatural powers of wine discernment.
Hmm, a 1934.
powers of wine discernment.
Hmm, a 1934.
Tastes like it was a very cold Hmm, a 1934.
Tastes like it was a very cold summer that year.
Tastes like it was a very cold summer that year.
And, uh summer that year.
And, uh the vendor's wife was pregnant.
And, uh the vendor's wife was pregnant.
Hold on.
With a girl.
Here's the big secret-- wine experts can't tell the Here's the big secret-- wine experts can't tell the difference either.
wine experts can't tell the difference either.
I beg to differ, sir.
difference either.
I beg to differ, sir.
My palate is incredibly refined.
I beg to differ, sir.
My palate is incredibly refined.
Well, Frederic Brochet of the My palate is incredibly refined.
Well, Frederic Brochet of the University of Bordeaux would say Well, Frederic Brochet of the University of Bordeaux would say otherwise.
University of Bordeaux would say otherwise.
He conducted a series of tests otherwise.
He conducted a series of tests on unsuspecting wine experts, He conducted a series of tests on unsuspecting wine experts, but for the sake of TV, let's on unsuspecting wine experts, but for the sake of TV, let's call them wine pranks.
but for the sake of TV, let's call them wine pranks.
Wine pranks! call them wine pranks.
Wine pranks! In the first test, 54 wine Wine pranks! In the first test, 54 wine connoisseurs were asked to In the first test, 54 wine connoisseurs were asked to compare a red and a white wine.
connoisseurs were asked to compare a red and a white wine.
Should be pretty easy.
compare a red and a white wine.
Should be pretty easy.
The red is juicy and robust.
Should be pretty easy.
The red is juicy and robust.
The white The red is juicy and robust.
The white It's bright, with notes of The white It's bright, with notes of vanilla and oak.
It's bright, with notes of vanilla and oak.
Wrong! vanilla and oak.
Wrong! They're actually the same wine.
Wrong! They're actually the same wine.
(buzzer) They're actually the same wine.
(buzzer) Half of the bottles were just (buzzer) Half of the bottles were just white wine dyed red and none of Half of the bottles were just white wine dyed red and none of the participants could tell.
white wine dyed red and none of the participants could tell.
I never! the participants could tell.
I never! Wine pranks! I never! Wine pranks! In another test, experts were Wine pranks! In another test, experts were asked to compare two different In another test, experts were asked to compare two different bottles.
asked to compare two different bottles.
One, an expensive Grand Cru, bottles.
One, an expensive Grand Cru, and the other, a cheap table One, an expensive Grand Cru, and the other, a cheap table wine.
and the other, a cheap table wine.
The Grand Cru.
wine.
The Grand Cru.
Complex.
The Grand Cru.
Complex.
Very, very interesting.
Complex.
Very, very interesting.
I shall be returning to the Very, very interesting.
I shall be returning to the Grand Cru.
I shall be returning to the Grand Cru.
(farts) Grand Cru.
(farts) "Fan-du-tab.
" (farts) "Fan-du-tab.
" It's light.
"Fan-du-tab.
" It's light.
It's flat.
It's light.
It's flat.
It's pretty much what you'd It's flat.
It's pretty much what you'd expect.
It's pretty much what you'd expect.
Oh, that's interesting, expect.
Oh, that's interesting, because once again, they're the Oh, that's interesting, because once again, they're the same wine.
because once again, they're the same wine.
Brochet just put the same wine same wine.
Brochet just put the same wine in two different bottles and Brochet just put the same wine in two different bottles and none of the so-called "wine in two different bottles and none of the so-called "wine experts" even noticed.
none of the so-called "wine experts" even noticed.
Wine pranks, wine pranks! experts" even noticed.
Wine pranks, wine pranks! Oh, you got wine pranked! Wine pranks, wine pranks! Oh, you got wine pranked! All right.
Oh, you got wine pranked! All right.
You've convinced me.
All right.
You've convinced me.
All wine is terrible and it You've convinced me.
All wine is terrible and it tastes the same.
All wine is terrible and it tastes the same.
No, wine is wonderful and of tastes the same.
No, wine is wonderful and of course, wines taste different.
No, wine is wonderful and of course, wines taste different.
It's just totally subjective, course, wines taste different.
It's just totally subjective, like all foods.
It's just totally subjective, like all foods.
We don't need sandwich experts like all foods.
We don't need sandwich experts because we know what we like.
We don't need sandwich experts because we know what we like.
Peanut butter and sardines.
because we know what we like.
Peanut butter and sardines.
What, they're both healthy fats.
Peanut butter and sardines.
What, they're both healthy fats.
And it's what I like.
What, they're both healthy fats.
And it's what I like.
If you don't like it, it doesn't And it's what I like.
If you don't like it, it doesn't matter because there's no If you don't like it, it doesn't matter because there's no objective truth to what tastes matter because there's no objective truth to what tastes best.
objective truth to what tastes best.
We think of wine as a high-class best.
We think of wine as a high-class item only accessible by We think of wine as a high-class item only accessible by high-class people, item only accessible by high-class people, but it's just tasty fermented high-class people, but it's just tasty fermented grapes.
but it's just tasty fermented grapes.
So you know what? grapes.
So you know what? Forget the snobs, So you know what? Forget the snobs, take risks and drink what tastes Forget the snobs, take risks and drink what tastes good to you.
take risks and drink what tastes good to you.
Wait.
Really? good to you.
Wait.
Really? You mean I can drink whatever I Wait.
Really? You mean I can drink whatever I want? You mean I can drink whatever I want? Yeah.
want? Yeah.
Freedom! Who wants to split a box of white zin? Yeah! I've missed this so much! I love it! Great.
So Thank you for an enlightening time.
Thank you for an enlightening time.
I think we've all learned a lot.
time.
I think we've all learned a lot.
Yeah.
I think we've all learned a lot.
Yeah.
Sorry you missed dinner.
Yeah.
Sorry you missed dinner.
You know, it's time to split, so Sorry you missed dinner.
You know, it's time to split, so enjoy your sandwich that you You know, it's time to split, so enjoy your sandwich that you brought to a restaurant.
enjoy your sandwich that you brought to a restaurant.
Oh, what'd you guys have, by brought to a restaurant.
Oh, what'd you guys have, by the way? Oh, what'd you guys have, by the way? We all had the fish.
the way? We all had the fish.
I had the orange roughy, We all had the fish.
I had the orange roughy, Emily had the salmon, and I had the orange roughy, Emily had the salmon, and Veronica had the white tuna, Emily had the salmon, and Veronica had the white tuna, okay? Veronica had the white tuna, okay? Oh.
okay? Oh.
What? Oh.
What? You don't really want to What? You don't really want to know.
You don't really want to know.
At this point, just lay it on know.
At this point, just lay it on me.
At this point, just lay it on me.
Okay, first, I want to finish me.
Okay, first, I want to finish my sandwich.
Okay, first, I want to finish my sandwich.
Oh, my God.
Did you know that lobster was originally considered food for the poor? originally considered food for the poor? It didn't become associated with the poor? It didn't become associated with wealth and luxury until World It didn't become associated with wealth and luxury until World War II, when food rationing wealth and luxury until World War II, when food rationing cased shortages-- War II, when food rationing cased shortages-- Ahem.
You were supposed to cased shortages-- Ahem.
You were supposed to tell us what's wrong with what Ahem.
You were supposed to tell us what's wrong with what we ordered.
tell us what's wrong with what we ordered.
Of course, happy to.
we ordered.
Of course, happy to.
I think it's time we visit the Of course, happy to.
I think it's time we visit the ghost of dinner past.
I think it's time we visit the ghost of dinner past.
Are you talking about farts? ghost of dinner past.
Are you talking about farts? No, time travel.
Are you talking about farts? No, time travel.
Everybody hold hands.
No, time travel.
Everybody hold hands.
And you think, you wink, you do Everybody hold hands.
And you think, you wink, you do a double blink And you think, you wink, you do a double blink Just do it.
Is that us? Yep.
I am so cute.
Hi, I don't have a reservation.
Table for two, please.
reservation.
Table for two, please.
That's not what it looks Table for two, please.
That's not what it looks like.
That's not what it looks like.
No, come on.
like.
No, come on.
Do you have water? No, come on.
Do you have water? Just a joke.
Do you have water? Just a joke.
Excuse me.
Just a joke.
Excuse me.
You are very pretty.
Excuse me.
You are very pretty.
Uh, they can't see or hear You are very pretty.
Uh, they can't see or hear us.
Uh, they can't see or hear us.
Aww.
Anyway, the awful truth about restaurants is that often the food you order isn't the food restaurants is that often the food you order isn't the food you get, especially when it food you order isn't the food you get, especially when it comes to seafood.
Yes, I will have the salmon.
Yeah, I love salmon.
Oh, what color do you like Yeah, I love salmon.
Oh, what color do you like it? Oh, what color do you like it? The color that it naturally it? The color that it naturally is? The color that it naturally is? In that case, here it is.
is? In that case, here it is.
Oh, my God, that is so gross.
In that case, here it is.
Oh, my God, that is so gross.
Nearly all farmed salmon Oh, my God, that is so gross.
Nearly all farmed salmon actually starts out a sickly Nearly all farmed salmon actually starts out a sickly gray color.
actually starts out a sickly gray color.
I just need a change! gray color.
I just need a change! In the ocean, wild salmon I just need a change! In the ocean, wild salmon turn pink because they eat In the ocean, wild salmon turn pink because they eat krill, but farmed salmon are fed turn pink because they eat krill, but farmed salmon are fed kibble, made of chicken fat, krill, but farmed salmon are fed kibble, made of chicken fat, soybeans and ground-up feathers.
kibble, made of chicken fat, soybeans and ground-up feathers.
My diet is ruining my soybeans and ground-up feathers.
My diet is ruining my complexion, but I just can't My diet is ruining my complexion, but I just can't stop! complexion, but I just can't stop! Manufacturers then dye the stop! Manufacturers then dye the fish pink to make it more Manufacturers then dye the fish pink to make it more appetizing to unwitting fish pink to make it more appetizing to unwitting consumers.
appetizing to unwitting consumers.
I love it! consumers.
I love it! The funny thing is, salmon I love it! The funny thing is, salmon would actually be a lot cheaper The funny thing is, salmon would actually be a lot cheaper if it weren't dyed, but we just would actually be a lot cheaper if it weren't dyed, but we just gotta have pink fish.
if it weren't dyed, but we just gotta have pink fish.
No! gotta have pink fish.
No! I was gonna go to school! No! I was gonna go to school! Yuck.
I was gonna go to school! Yuck.
Well, I'll order wild salmon Yuck.
Well, I'll order wild salmon from now on.
Well, I'll order wild salmon from now on.
Actually, even when the menu from now on.
Actually, even when the menu says wild salmon, a lot of the Actually, even when the menu says wild salmon, a lot of the time, you're getting farmed says wild salmon, a lot of the time, you're getting farmed salmon and you just don't know time, you're getting farmed salmon and you just don't know it.
salmon and you just don't know it.
Fine.
it.
Fine.
Tuna.
Fine.
Tuna.
Oh, don't even get me started Tuna.
Oh, don't even get me started on tuna.
Oh, don't even get me started on tuna.
No.
on tuna.
No.
I said, don't even get me No.
I said, don't even get me started on tuna! I said, don't even get me started on tuna! What's wrong with tuna? started on tuna! What's wrong with tuna? It's what I ordered.
What's wrong with tuna? It's what I ordered.
I have to know.
It's what I ordered.
I have to know.
Chances are it wasn't tuna.
I have to know.
Chances are it wasn't tuna.
The mislabeling of fish is Chances are it wasn't tuna.
The mislabeling of fish is rampant in the restaurant The mislabeling of fish is rampant in the restaurant industry.
rampant in the restaurant industry.
A study by Oceana found that 59% industry.
A study by Oceana found that 59% of the tuna they genetically A study by Oceana found that 59% of the tuna they genetically tested from grocery stores and of the tuna they genetically tested from grocery stores and restaurants wasn't tuna at all.
tested from grocery stores and restaurants wasn't tuna at all.
In sushi restaurants, the number restaurants wasn't tuna at all.
In sushi restaurants, the number was 74%.
In sushi restaurants, the number was 74%.
Oh, God.
was 74%.
Oh, God.
What is it? Oh, God.
What is it? Is it little bugs? What is it? Is it little bugs? No, it's just other kinds of Is it little bugs? No, it's just other kinds of fish.
No, it's just other kinds of fish.
Usually, a snake mackerel called "escolar.
" Well, whatever, so long as it tastes good.
Oh, yeah, escolar tastes great.
Oh, yeah, escolar tastes great.
And you'll be fine, for a few great.
And you'll be fine, for a few hours.
And you'll be fine, for a few hours.
But the flesh of escolar hours.
But the flesh of escolar contains waxy deposits that are But the flesh of escolar contains waxy deposits that are not easy to digest.
contains waxy deposits that are not easy to digest.
This is so good.
not easy to digest.
This is so good.
(stomach gurgling) This is so good.
(stomach gurgling) I feel so not good.
(stomach gurgling) I feel so not good.
Ugh.
I feel so not good.
Ugh.
You'll probably need this.
Ugh.
You'll probably need this.
It makes you poop.
You'll probably need this.
It makes you poop.
Yeah, we got it.
It makes you poop.
Yeah, we got it.
Okay, how does this happen? Yeah, we got it.
Okay, how does this happen? Is it legal? Okay, how does this happen? Is it legal? No, it isn't, but it's pretty Is it legal? No, it isn't, but it's pretty hard to catch the perps when we No, it isn't, but it's pretty hard to catch the perps when we keep eating the evidence.
But you know what is legal, the renaming of "trash fish" to make them sound more appetizing.
the renaming of "trash fish" to make them sound more appetizing.
What? make them sound more appetizing.
What? And your orange roughy.
What? And your orange roughy.
Mmm, sounds tasty.
And your orange roughy.
Mmm, sounds tasty.
Oh, yeah, it does.
Mmm, sounds tasty.
Oh, yeah, it does.
But it didn't back when the same fish was called the "slimehead.
" Ugh.
Popular species have been so depleted that fisherman have resorted to giving more depleted that fisherman have resorted to giving more appetizing names to weird-ass resorted to giving more appetizing names to weird-ass fish that used to be considered appetizing names to weird-ass fish that used to be considered too gross to eat.
fish that used to be considered too gross to eat.
No tuna today, Chef.
too gross to eat.
No tuna today, Chef.
Slimehead is all we got.
No tuna today, Chef.
Slimehead is all we got.
I can't serve these Slimehead is all we got.
I can't serve these disgusting things! I can't serve these disgusting things! Even the name makes me want to disgusting things! Even the name makes me want to hurl.
Even the name makes me want to hurl.
Well, maybe we can come up hurl.
Well, maybe we can come up with a new one, then.
Well, maybe we can come up with a new one, then.
Well, they're orange and kind of with a new one, then.
Well, they're orange and kind of rough.
Well, they're orange and kind of rough.
What about orange roughy? rough.
What about orange roughy? Hmm.
What about orange roughy? Hmm.
Yes, those dummies should buy Hmm.
Yes, those dummies should buy that! Ha! Yes, those dummies should buy that! Ha! Kill me that! Ha! Kill me (women giggling) Kill me (women giggling) It's true.
(women giggling) It's true.
Overfishing is a really serious It's true.
Overfishing is a really serious problem.
Overfishing is a really serious problem.
Oh, that is so interesting.
problem.
Oh, that is so interesting.
Dad? Oh, that is so interesting.
Dad? Wait, this is your dad? Dad? Wait, this is your dad? He's so charming.
Wait, this is your dad? He's so charming.
Yep, this is my actual father, David Conover, a marine biologist at Stony Brook University.
Uh, Dad, these are my best friends, Emily and the other ones.
friends, Emily and the other ones.
Sorry, we're your best ones.
Sorry, we're your best friends? Sorry, we're your best friends? You know, we hang out.
friends? You know, we hang out.
That is so sad.
You know, we hang out.
That is so sad.
I'm sorry, tell me more.
That is so sad.
I'm sorry, tell me more.
Let me tell you how bad I'm sorry, tell me more.
Let me tell you how bad overfishing is.
Let me tell you how bad overfishing is.
A recent study showed that 58% overfishing is.
A recent study showed that 58% of the world's fish docks are A recent study showed that 58% of the world's fish docks are either overfished or collapsed.
of the world's fish docks are either overfished or collapsed.
Oh, my God.
either overfished or collapsed.
Oh, my God.
Okay, Dad.
Oh, my God.
Okay, Dad.
Can anything be done about this Okay, Dad.
Can anything be done about this problem? Can anything be done about this problem? Yeah, with respect to problem? Yeah, with respect to overfishing, we need to reduce Yeah, with respect to overfishing, we need to reduce the amount of fish we're overfishing, we need to reduce the amount of fish we're harvesting.
the amount of fish we're harvesting.
We need to make sure that the harvesting.
We need to make sure that the fish species that are being We need to make sure that the fish species that are being overharvested are exempt from fish species that are being overharvested are exempt from harvesting until they recover.
overharvested are exempt from harvesting until they recover.
It's all part of what we call harvesting until they recover.
It's all part of what we call ecosystem-based management.
It's all part of what we call ecosystem-based management.
Wait.
ecosystem-based management.
Wait.
How does that lead to fish Wait.
How does that lead to fish mislabeling, though? How does that lead to fish mislabeling, though? When the most popular fish mislabeling, though? When the most popular fish are depleted, the fishing When the most popular fish are depleted, the fishing industry has to find new species are depleted, the fishing industry has to find new species to harvest.
industry has to find new species to harvest.
There's thousands of fish in the to harvest.
There's thousands of fish in the sea that we serve for food, There's thousands of fish in the sea that we serve for food, but the public knows the names sea that we serve for food, but the public knows the names of only a few of those fish, so but the public knows the names of only a few of those fish, so mislabeling is the obvious of only a few of those fish, so mislabeling is the obvious result.
mislabeling is the obvious result.
Yeah, like anyone could learn result.
Yeah, like anyone could learn all the names of all those fish.
Yeah, like anyone could learn all the names of all those fish.
Well, some of us do know the all the names of all those fish.
Well, some of us do know the names of those fish.
Well, some of us do know the names of those fish.
(laughing) names of those fish.
(laughing) Dad, not everyone loves fish (laughing) Dad, not everyone loves fish and wants to marry a fish or Dad, not everyone loves fish and wants to marry a fish or whatever.
and wants to marry a fish or whatever.
Stop embarrassing me! whatever.
Stop embarrassing me! Sorry, Adam.
Stop embarrassing me! Sorry, Adam.
See you at Sunday dinner.
Sorry, Adam.
See you at Sunday dinner.
Bye, Dad.
Wow, I really liked him.
Like, you could learn something from him.
Like, you could learn something from him.
Yes.
something from him.
Yes.
And he's, like, nice.
Yes.
And he's, like, nice.
Yeah, your dad is super And he's, like, nice.
Yeah, your dad is super handsome.
Yeah, your dad is super handsome.
I wouldn't even have known he handsome.
I wouldn't even have known he was your dad.
I wouldn't even have known he was your dad.
It's like, you sound smart, was your dad.
It's like, you sound smart, but he is smart.
It's like, you sound smart, but he is smart.
You know what? but he is smart.
You know what? Let's get dessert.
You know what? Let's get dessert.
Yeah! Let's get dessert.
Yeah! Oh, you definitely don't want Yeah! Oh, you definitely don't want dessert.
Oh, you definitely don't want dessert.
Give me a break, Adam.
dessert.
Give me a break, Adam.
What, you don't like drinks, you Give me a break, Adam.
What, you don't like drinks, you don't like dinner, you don't What, you don't like drinks, you don't like dinner, you don't like dessert, you don't like don't like dinner, you don't like dessert, you don't like restaurants at all, I mean, what like dessert, you don't like restaurants at all, I mean, what is your glitch? restaurants at all, I mean, what is your glitch? Look, I know these facts is your glitch? Look, I know these facts sound like bummers, but I was Look, I know these facts sound like bummers, but I was just about to explain how sound like bummers, but I was just about to explain how learning them can actually make just about to explain how learning them can actually make the restaurant experience so learning them can actually make the restaurant experience so much more-- the restaurant experience so much more-- You truly are a demon.
much more-- You truly are a demon.
(whistling) Okay, so why do you have such a problem with restaurants? What, do you hate going to a a problem with restaurants? What, do you hate going to a nice place, having a nice time? What, do you hate going to a nice place, having a nice time? Oh, no, I love it, and nice place, having a nice time? Oh, no, I love it, and restaurants can be wonderful.
Oh, no, I love it, and restaurants can be wonderful.
We just need to remember that restaurants can be wonderful.
We just need to remember that all of this is an illusion.
We just need to remember that all of this is an illusion.
Haven't you ever wondered where all of this is an illusion.
Haven't you ever wondered where restaurants come from? Haven't you ever wondered where restaurants come from? Hmm, nope.
restaurants come from? Hmm, nope.
I know cavemen had Hmm, nope.
I know cavemen had drive-thrus.
I know cavemen had drive-thrus.
You're thinking about the drive-thrus.
You're thinking about the Flintstones, honey.
You're thinking about the Flintstones, honey.
In France, after the Flintstones, honey.
In France, after the revolution toppled the In France, after the revolution toppled the aristocracy, revolution toppled the aristocracy, rich people's personal chefs had aristocracy, rich people's personal chefs had nowhere to work, so they opened rich people's personal chefs had nowhere to work, so they opened fine dining restaurants so that nowhere to work, so they opened fine dining restaurants so that even the common man could eat fine dining restaurants so that even the common man could eat like a king for a day.
even the common man could eat like a king for a day.
Now, you're not a king.
like a king for a day.
Now, you're not a king.
It's an illusion.
Now, you're not a king.
It's an illusion.
But as long as you don't take It's an illusion.
But as long as you don't take the illusion too seriously But as long as you don't take the illusion too seriously or exploit the people who are the illusion too seriously or exploit the people who are serving you, it's fine.
or exploit the people who are serving you, it's fine.
We just need to all remember serving you, it's fine.
We just need to all remember that we created this miniature We just need to all remember that we created this miniature world, so we can change it that we created this miniature world, so we can change it however we want.
world, so we can change it however we want.
If we leave the bad parts and however we want.
If we leave the bad parts and keep the good parts, we'll all If we leave the bad parts and keep the good parts, we'll all have a better time.
keep the good parts, we'll all have a better time.
So what's your problem have a better time.
So what's your problem with dessert? So what's your problem with dessert? Oh, I love dessert.
with dessert? Oh, I love dessert.
I just don't like dessert in Oh, I love dessert.
I just don't like dessert in restaurants.
I just don't like dessert in restaurants.
Come on, it's always the same, restaurants.
Come on, it's always the same, like crème brûlée and molten Come on, it's always the same, like crème brûlée and molten lava cake.
like crème brûlée and molten lava cake.
Let's get ice cream.
lava cake.
Let's get ice cream.
This man know stuff.
Let's get ice cream.
This man know stuff.
Yeah, I-- This man know stuff.
Yeah, I-- Yeah.
Yeah, I-- Yeah.
Fun fact about ice cream.
Yeah.
Fun fact about ice cream.
Hey, come on, man.
Fun fact about ice cream.
Hey, come on, man.
Give it a rest, you jerk.
Hey, come on, man.
Give it a rest, you jerk.
Hey, lay off! Give it a rest, you jerk.
Hey, lay off! How about you give it a rest? Hey, lay off! How about you give it a rest? Tuna isn't real.
How about you give it a rest? Tuna isn't real.
Okay, hey, calm down.
Tuna isn't real.
Okay, hey, calm down.
Hey.
Okay, hey, calm down.
Hey.
Hey, lay off.
Hey.
Hey, lay off.
Come on.
Hey, lay off.
Come on.
What, are we on a playground Come on.
What, are we on a playground here? Did you know the ice cream cone was invented in 1904 at the World's Fair in-- Adam, don't you ever just stop and enjoy things? Oh, no, that's how I enjoy stop and enjoy things? Oh, no, that's how I enjoy things.
Oh, no, that's how I enjoy things.
Oh, wow.
things.
Oh, wow.
A shooting star.
Oh, yeah, that's not a shooting star.
It's a satellite.
Hey, Emily.
Is Haylie single? No.
Is Haylie single? No.
I mean, like, yes, but No.
I mean, like, yes, but No.
Oh, hey, did you guys valet? I would love a ride.
Next time on "Adam Ruins Everything" Did you know you just washed Everything" Did you know you just washed your mouth with floor cleaner? Did you know you just washed your mouth with floor cleaner? We'll tell Americans they're your mouth with floor cleaner? We'll tell Americans they're dirty, filthy garbage people.
We'll tell Americans they're dirty, filthy garbage people.
The massive flimflam that is dirty, filthy garbage people.
The massive flimflam that is the flushable wipe.
The massive flimflam that is the flushable wipe.
And I ate all your old the flushable wipe.
And I ate all your old antidepressants! And I ate all your old antidepressants! (screaming)
" "Gone Girl" someone if you say you're "Gone Girl"-ing him.
" Yeah, that is too true.
you're "Gone Girl"-ing him.
" Yeah, that is too true.
Okay, wait, wait, wait.
Yeah, that is too true.
Okay, wait, wait, wait.
To girls night.
Okay, wait, wait, wait.
To girls night.
Girls night.
To girls night.
Girls night.
No rush, ladies.
Girls night.
No rush, ladies.
Just whenever you get a chance.
No rush, ladies.
Just whenever you get a chance.
Thanks.
Just whenever you get a chance.
Thanks.
Here, let me get it, because Thanks.
Here, let me get it, because I did just get a raise.
Here, let me get it, because I did just get a raise.
Thanks, Emily.
I did just get a raise.
Thanks, Emily.
How much should I tip? Thanks, Emily.
How much should I tip? In a perfect world, nothing.
How much should I tip? In a perfect world, nothing.
(dishes shatter) In a perfect world, nothing.
(dishes shatter) Oh, sorry.
(dishes shatter) Oh, sorry.
Why are you here? Oh, sorry.
Why are you here? I eat here all the time.
Why are you here? I eat here all the time.
Were you eating dinner I eat here all the time.
Were you eating dinner with a plant? Were you eating dinner with a plant? Of course not.
with a plant? Of course not.
Happy to join you.
Of course not.
Happy to join you.
Hi, I'm Adam.
Happy to join you.
Hi, I'm Adam.
Adam, these are my friends, Hi, I'm Adam.
Adam, these are my friends, "Go Away" and "You Don't Need To Adam, these are my friends, "Go Away" and "You Don't Need To Know.
" Now scram.
"Go Away" and "You Don't Need To Know.
" Now scram.
It's okay.
Know.
" Now scram.
It's okay.
Hi, I'm Veronica and this is It's okay.
Hi, I'm Veronica and this is Haylie.
Hi, I'm Veronica and this is Haylie.
No.
No, no, no.
Haylie.
No.
No, no, no.
Don't be nice to him.
No.
No, no, no.
Don't be nice to him.
He's just going to destroy Don't be nice to him.
He's just going to destroy something we love.
He's just going to destroy something we love.
Oh, God.
something we love.
Oh, God.
It's restaurants, isn't it? Oh, God.
It's restaurants, isn't it? No, I love restaurants.
It's restaurants, isn't it? No, I love restaurants.
Oh, God, phew.
No, I love restaurants.
Oh, God, phew.
But you must admit that some Oh, God, phew.
But you must admit that some restaurant customs are pretty But you must admit that some restaurant customs are pretty weird.
restaurant customs are pretty weird.
No.
weird.
No.
Ugh, why would anyone give you a TV show? Because I'm so handsome? you a TV show? Because I'm so handsome? Oh, honey.
Because I'm so handsome? Oh, honey.
That can't be why.
Oh, honey.
That can't be why.
Okay, so you don't like That can't be why.
Okay, so you don't like tipping.
Okay, so you don't like tipping.
Oh, no, not at all.
tipping.
Oh, no, not at all.
And I understand that right now, Oh, no, not at all.
And I understand that right now, you probably hate me for even And I understand that right now, you probably hate me for even daring to question the custom.
you probably hate me for even daring to question the custom.
Yeah, what the fudge? daring to question the custom.
Yeah, what the fudge? Oh, sorry.
Yeah, what the fudge? Oh, sorry.
But hear me out.
Oh, sorry.
But hear me out.
By the time I'm done, I think But hear me out.
By the time I'm done, I think you'll agree that tipping is a By the time I'm done, I think you'll agree that tipping is a custom we'd be better off you'll agree that tipping is a custom we'd be better off without.
custom we'd be better off without.
Sorry.
without.
Sorry.
I don't tip.
Sorry.
I don't tip.
I'm not gonna tip just 'cause I don't tip.
I'm not gonna tip just 'cause society says I got to.
I'm not gonna tip just 'cause society says I got to.
Let's get one thing straight, society says I got to.
Let's get one thing straight, if you live in America, you have to tip.
Restaurants here can legally pay their servers less than minimum wage.
As little as three bucks an wage.
As little as three bucks an hour.
As little as three bucks an hour.
As long as that's true, if you don't tip, you're a bad person.
I'm getting out of here.
Jerk.
But just because that's the system we have, doesn't mean But just because that's the system we have, doesn't mean it's a good system, and system we have, doesn't mean it's a good system, and restaurant tipping is a custom that shortchanges servers, inconveniences customers, and makes the dining experience inconveniences customers, and makes the dining experience worse for everyone.
Oh, sorry.
First, ask yourself this-- why is it our responsibility to First, ask yourself this-- why is it our responsibility to pay the restaurant's employees why is it our responsibility to pay the restaurant's employees fairly? pay the restaurant's employees fairly? Like, why don't they just pay fairly? Like, why don't they just pay you a normal amount of money and Like, why don't they just pay you a normal amount of money and make the food more expensive? you a normal amount of money and make the food more expensive? That's what every business has make the food more expensive? That's what every business has done since the dawn of time.
That's what every business has done since the dawn of time.
When you buy a shirt, it's just done since the dawn of time.
When you buy a shirt, it's just 50 bucks.
When you buy a shirt, it's just 50 bucks.
They're not like, okay, that'll 50 bucks.
They're not like, okay, that'll be $40, and you decide the stock They're not like, okay, that'll be $40, and you decide the stock boy eats tonight.
be $40, and you decide the stock boy eats tonight.
Oh, wow.
boy eats tonight.
Oh, wow.
Guess you're going hungry.
Oh, wow.
Guess you're going hungry.
No, it's his fault, not mine.
Guess you're going hungry.
No, it's his fault, not mine.
Bogus.
No, it's his fault, not mine.
Bogus.
In most countries, restaurant Bogus.
In most countries, restaurant tipping isn't mandatory and even In most countries, restaurant tipping isn't mandatory and even in America, it's a relatively tipping isn't mandatory and even in America, it's a relatively new custom.
in America, it's a relatively new custom.
For most of our history, tipping new custom.
For most of our history, tipping was considered an undemocratic For most of our history, tipping was considered an undemocratic form of bribery.
was considered an undemocratic form of bribery.
Serve me before this rabble, form of bribery.
Serve me before this rabble, won't you? Serve me before this rabble, won't you? I'm a very wealthy man.
won't you? I'm a very wealthy man.
I shan't, sir.
I'm a very wealthy man.
I shan't, sir.
This is America, where every man I shan't, sir.
This is America, where every man has the right to decent service.
This is America, where every man has the right to decent service.
But after prohibition banned has the right to decent service.
But after prohibition banned the sale of alcohol, restaurant But after prohibition banned the sale of alcohol, restaurant profits cratered, the sale of alcohol, restaurant profits cratered, and restaurant owners started profits cratered, and restaurant owners started encouraging servers to accept and restaurant owners started encouraging servers to accept tips because it meant they could encouraging servers to accept tips because it meant they could pay them less.
tips because it meant they could pay them less.
Sorry, Ollie.
pay them less.
Sorry, Ollie.
I can't afford to pay you this Sorry, Ollie.
I can't afford to pay you this month.
I can't afford to pay you this month.
You better go take that fat month.
You better go take that fat cat's cash.
A century later, we're still stuck with the same system, turning what used to be a bribe stuck with the same system, turning what used to be a bribe into an obligation that makes the end of every meal suck, unless your idea of a good time is bickering with your friends unless your idea of a good time is bickering with your friends about math.
is bickering with your friends about math.
Just tip 15%.
about math.
Just tip 15%.
15? Just tip 15%.
15? Clearly, you've never worked in 15? Clearly, you've never worked in the service industry.
Clearly, you've never worked in the service industry.
I always tip at least 60.
the service industry.
I always tip at least 60.
Guys, everyone knows the rule I always tip at least 60.
Guys, everyone knows the rule is 20%, so I'm just gonna tip Guys, everyone knows the rule is 20%, so I'm just gonna tip that, problem solved.
is 20%, so I'm just gonna tip that, problem solved.
Okay.
that, problem solved.
Okay.
If you think the rule is so Okay.
If you think the rule is so clear, let me ask you this.
If you think the rule is so clear, let me ask you this.
20% before or after tax? clear, let me ask you this.
20% before or after tax? Before.
20% before or after tax? Before.
After.
Before.
After.
Ugh After.
Ugh I like it.
If I give better service, I earn better tips.
Actually, you don't.
better tips.
Actually, you don't.
Research shows that only 2% of the difference in tips left by different parties is explainable by the quality and service.
different parties is explainable by the quality and service.
In other words, no matter how by the quality and service.
In other words, no matter how good of a job you do, you'll be In other words, no matter how good of a job you do, you'll be tipped about the same.
good of a job you do, you'll be tipped about the same.
Seriously? tipped about the same.
Seriously? Well, then screw this.
Seriously? Well, then screw this.
Yep.
Well, then screw this.
Yep.
Should we not tip him? Yep.
Should we not tip him? No, I don't want to get Should we not tip him? No, I don't want to get yelled at.
No, I don't want to get yelled at.
Just give him 18%.
yelled at.
Just give him 18%.
And the worst part is, Just give him 18%.
And the worst part is, tipping results in wage And the worst part is, tipping results in wage discrimination.
tipping results in wage discrimination.
The research also shows that discrimination.
The research also shows that black servers are tipped less The research also shows that black servers are tipped less than white servers across the black servers are tipped less than white servers across the board.
than white servers across the board.
Um, I think I forgot board.
Um, I think I forgot something.
Um, I think I forgot something.
Uh, just I'll get that.
Oh.
I feel bad.
Oh.
I feel bad.
And considering that racially I feel bad.
And considering that racially discriminatory pay is against And considering that racially discriminatory pay is against the law, it's kind of surprising discriminatory pay is against the law, it's kind of surprising that this entire system isn't the law, it's kind of surprising that this entire system isn't straight up illegal.
that this entire system isn't straight up illegal.
Oh, my God.
straight up illegal.
Oh, my God.
Okay, that's terrible, but Oh, my God.
Okay, that's terrible, but what can we do about it? Okay, that's terrible, but what can we do about it? I mean, we can't change the what can we do about it? I mean, we can't change the restaurant industry.
I mean, we can't change the restaurant industry.
No, but restaurants can and restaurant industry.
No, but restaurants can and some already are.
Meet Gabriel Frem and Christy Kuriakose from Brand 158 in Glendale, California.
Kuriakose from Brand 158 in Glendale, California.
Gabriel, would you tell these guys a little bit about your restaurant? Sure.
restaurant? Sure.
At Brand 158, we instituted a Sure.
At Brand 158, we instituted a no-tipping policy, and that's At Brand 158, we instituted a no-tipping policy, and that's been a great success.
no-tipping policy, and that's been a great success.
For our guests, they feel like been a great success.
For our guests, they feel like they're in a nurturing For our guests, they feel like they're in a nurturing environment where they can they're in a nurturing environment where they can relax, enjoy their meal, and not environment where they can relax, enjoy their meal, and not have to worry about doing math relax, enjoy their meal, and not have to worry about doing math at the end of the meal to figure have to worry about doing math at the end of the meal to figure out what to tip.
at the end of the meal to figure out what to tip.
And for our servers, it creates out what to tip.
And for our servers, it creates stable income so that they can And for our servers, it creates stable income so that they can focus on our guests.
stable income so that they can focus on our guests.
We don't do it because we feel focus on our guests.
We don't do it because we feel charitable, we do it because We don't do it because we feel charitable, we do it because it's good business to take care charitable, we do it because it's good business to take care of your people so that they can it's good business to take care of your people so that they can take care of your customers like of your people so that they can take care of your customers like any other business.
take care of your customers like any other business.
But what does the staff any other business.
But what does the staff think? But what does the staff think? Oh, the employees love it, think? Oh, the employees love it, let me tell you.
Oh, the employees love it, let me tell you.
As a server, the fact that I let me tell you.
As a server, the fact that I have a stable income is As a server, the fact that I have a stable income is absolutely fantastic.
have a stable income is absolutely fantastic.
I even have benefits.
absolutely fantastic.
I even have benefits.
Are you hiring? I even have benefits.
Are you hiring? We're always looking for good Are you hiring? We're always looking for good people.
We're always looking for good people.
That does sound like a better people.
That does sound like a better system.
That does sound like a better system.
It is, but until the rest of system.
It is, but until the rest of the restaurants catch up, It is, but until the rest of the restaurants catch up, you still have to tip.
the restaurants catch up, you still have to tip.
So, uh, pay up.
you still have to tip.
So, uh, pay up.
Your friend is super fun, So, uh, pay up.
Your friend is super fun, Emily.
Your friend is super fun, Emily.
Yeah, I know what I'm doing.
Emily.
Yeah, I know what I'm doing.
I need a drink.
Yeah, I know what I'm doing.
I need a drink.
Show me your moonlight I need a drink.
Show me your moonlight Yay! Taking a shot! Show me your moonlight Yay! Taking a shot! Oh, Jagermeister.
Named after Hermann Goring's huntmasters, or "Jagermeisters" of the Nazi era.
huntmasters, or "Jagermeisters" of the Nazi era.
What the hell? You're going to ruin our drinks for us? You know, my ride share is drinks for us? You know, my ride share is almost here, but what the heck, You know, my ride share is almost here, but what the heck, I'll cancel it.
What can I get you ladies? Well, I really like What can I get you ladies? Well, I really like craft beer.
Well, I really like craft beer.
Something super artisanal.
craft beer.
Something super artisanal.
Maybe like a Goose Stop.
Something super artisanal.
Maybe like a Goose Stop.
You mean a Miller Bud? Maybe like a Goose Stop.
You mean a Miller Bud? No, Goose Stop.
You mean a Miller Bud? No, Goose Stop.
Miller Bud.
No, Goose Stop.
Miller Bud.
Goose Stop! Miller Bud.
Goose Stop! Miller Bud! Goose Stop! Miller Bud! Look, I don't know what you Miller Bud! Look, I don't know what you think "craft beer" means.
Look, I don't know what you think "craft beer" means.
It means it comes with an think "craft beer" means.
It means it comes with an orange slice.
It means it comes with an orange slice.
But many of the most popular orange slice.
But many of the most popular craft beers are actually brewed But many of the most popular craft beers are actually brewed by giant corporations.
craft beers are actually brewed by giant corporations.
The term is totally unregulated by giant corporations.
The term is totally unregulated and can be used by anyone.
The term is totally unregulated and can be used by anyone.
Whatever.
and can be used by anyone.
Whatever.
I want a real drink.
Whatever.
I want a real drink.
A whiskey.
I want a real drink.
A whiskey.
How about that one? A whiskey.
How about that one? The bottle is way old, there's a How about that one? The bottle is way old, there's a cabin on the label, and it's $15 The bottle is way old, there's a cabin on the label, and it's $15 a glass, so you know it's good.
cabin on the label, and it's $15 a glass, so you know it's good.
You got it.
a glass, so you know it's good.
You got it.
Oh, excuse me.
You got it.
Oh, excuse me.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Oh, excuse me.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Here we go.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Here we go.
No, the fancy one! Here we go.
No, the fancy one! But what's the difference? No, the fancy one! But what's the difference? It's the same whiskey.
But what's the difference? It's the same whiskey.
Many supposedly "small batch" It's the same whiskey.
Many supposedly "small batch" bourbons and ryes are just the Many supposedly "small batch" bourbons and ryes are just the same liquor slightly changed bourbons and ryes are just the same liquor slightly changed with a cooler label.
Time for a refill.
(cackling) All right, ladies, would you like to see our wine list? That sounds perfect.
Yes, let's talk about wine.
There are so many.
How am I supposed to choose? There are so many.
How am I supposed to choose? Have you ever noticed that How am I supposed to choose? Have you ever noticed that when it's time to choose a wine, Have you ever noticed that when it's time to choose a wine, none of us feel like we know when it's time to choose a wine, none of us feel like we know what we're doing? none of us feel like we know what we're doing? This one's fancy, I think.
what we're doing? This one's fancy, I think.
Since we can't taste the This one's fancy, I think.
Since we can't taste the wines before we buy them, we're Since we can't taste the wines before we buy them, we're forced to pick just based on the wines before we buy them, we're forced to pick just based on the label.
forced to pick just based on the label.
This one has a frog wearing a label.
This one has a frog wearing a hat, so I bet that tastes This one has a frog wearing a hat, so I bet that tastes like mossy? hat, so I bet that tastes like mossy? This one's by Francis Ford like mossy? This one's by Francis Ford Coppola.
This one's by Francis Ford Coppola.
I like his movies, so I bet it Coppola.
I like his movies, so I bet it tastes like, um, "The I like his movies, so I bet it tastes like, um, "The Godfather"? tastes like, um, "The Godfather"? This one says ketchup.
Godfather"? This one says ketchup.
Am I holding a bottle of This one says ketchup.
Am I holding a bottle of ketchup? Am I holding a bottle of ketchup? And even when we do taste ketchup? And even when we do taste them, we doubt our own opinions.
And even when we do taste them, we doubt our own opinions.
Mmm, this is dry.
them, we doubt our own opinions.
Mmm, this is dry.
This one's full bodied? Mmm, this is dry.
This one's full bodied? Are you sure? This one's full bodied? Are you sure? No, what is a wine body? Are you sure? No, what is a wine body? Yeah, this is clearly wet.
No, what is a wine body? Yeah, this is clearly wet.
So we defer to the opinions Yeah, this is clearly wet.
So we defer to the opinions of so-called "wine experts.
" So we defer to the opinions of so-called "wine experts.
" Perhaps I can be of some of so-called "wine experts.
" Perhaps I can be of some assistance, ladies.
Perhaps I can be of some assistance, ladies.
Oh, thank God.
assistance, ladies.
Oh, thank God.
Tell us what tastes good.
Oh, thank God.
Tell us what tastes good.
I've been pretending this Tell us what tastes good.
I've been pretending this whole time.
I've been pretending this whole time.
But the truth is, everyone is whole time.
But the truth is, everyone is pretending because even though But the truth is, everyone is pretending because even though wine connoisseurs want us to pretending because even though wine connoisseurs want us to believe that their ratings are wine connoisseurs want us to believe that their ratings are objective believe that their ratings are objective That one's fit to drink, objective That one's fit to drink, that is cheap swill, and that is That one's fit to drink, that is cheap swill, and that is a bottle of ketchup.
that is cheap swill, and that is a bottle of ketchup.
and they have supernatural a bottle of ketchup.
and they have supernatural powers of wine discernment.
and they have supernatural powers of wine discernment.
Hmm, a 1934.
powers of wine discernment.
Hmm, a 1934.
Tastes like it was a very cold Hmm, a 1934.
Tastes like it was a very cold summer that year.
Tastes like it was a very cold summer that year.
And, uh summer that year.
And, uh the vendor's wife was pregnant.
And, uh the vendor's wife was pregnant.
Hold on.
With a girl.
Here's the big secret-- wine experts can't tell the Here's the big secret-- wine experts can't tell the difference either.
wine experts can't tell the difference either.
I beg to differ, sir.
difference either.
I beg to differ, sir.
My palate is incredibly refined.
I beg to differ, sir.
My palate is incredibly refined.
Well, Frederic Brochet of the My palate is incredibly refined.
Well, Frederic Brochet of the University of Bordeaux would say Well, Frederic Brochet of the University of Bordeaux would say otherwise.
University of Bordeaux would say otherwise.
He conducted a series of tests otherwise.
He conducted a series of tests on unsuspecting wine experts, He conducted a series of tests on unsuspecting wine experts, but for the sake of TV, let's on unsuspecting wine experts, but for the sake of TV, let's call them wine pranks.
but for the sake of TV, let's call them wine pranks.
Wine pranks! call them wine pranks.
Wine pranks! In the first test, 54 wine Wine pranks! In the first test, 54 wine connoisseurs were asked to In the first test, 54 wine connoisseurs were asked to compare a red and a white wine.
connoisseurs were asked to compare a red and a white wine.
Should be pretty easy.
compare a red and a white wine.
Should be pretty easy.
The red is juicy and robust.
Should be pretty easy.
The red is juicy and robust.
The white The red is juicy and robust.
The white It's bright, with notes of The white It's bright, with notes of vanilla and oak.
It's bright, with notes of vanilla and oak.
Wrong! vanilla and oak.
Wrong! They're actually the same wine.
Wrong! They're actually the same wine.
(buzzer) They're actually the same wine.
(buzzer) Half of the bottles were just (buzzer) Half of the bottles were just white wine dyed red and none of Half of the bottles were just white wine dyed red and none of the participants could tell.
white wine dyed red and none of the participants could tell.
I never! the participants could tell.
I never! Wine pranks! I never! Wine pranks! In another test, experts were Wine pranks! In another test, experts were asked to compare two different In another test, experts were asked to compare two different bottles.
asked to compare two different bottles.
One, an expensive Grand Cru, bottles.
One, an expensive Grand Cru, and the other, a cheap table One, an expensive Grand Cru, and the other, a cheap table wine.
and the other, a cheap table wine.
The Grand Cru.
wine.
The Grand Cru.
Complex.
The Grand Cru.
Complex.
Very, very interesting.
Complex.
Very, very interesting.
I shall be returning to the Very, very interesting.
I shall be returning to the Grand Cru.
I shall be returning to the Grand Cru.
(farts) Grand Cru.
(farts) "Fan-du-tab.
" (farts) "Fan-du-tab.
" It's light.
"Fan-du-tab.
" It's light.
It's flat.
It's light.
It's flat.
It's pretty much what you'd It's flat.
It's pretty much what you'd expect.
It's pretty much what you'd expect.
Oh, that's interesting, expect.
Oh, that's interesting, because once again, they're the Oh, that's interesting, because once again, they're the same wine.
because once again, they're the same wine.
Brochet just put the same wine same wine.
Brochet just put the same wine in two different bottles and Brochet just put the same wine in two different bottles and none of the so-called "wine in two different bottles and none of the so-called "wine experts" even noticed.
none of the so-called "wine experts" even noticed.
Wine pranks, wine pranks! experts" even noticed.
Wine pranks, wine pranks! Oh, you got wine pranked! Wine pranks, wine pranks! Oh, you got wine pranked! All right.
Oh, you got wine pranked! All right.
You've convinced me.
All right.
You've convinced me.
All wine is terrible and it You've convinced me.
All wine is terrible and it tastes the same.
All wine is terrible and it tastes the same.
No, wine is wonderful and of tastes the same.
No, wine is wonderful and of course, wines taste different.
No, wine is wonderful and of course, wines taste different.
It's just totally subjective, course, wines taste different.
It's just totally subjective, like all foods.
It's just totally subjective, like all foods.
We don't need sandwich experts like all foods.
We don't need sandwich experts because we know what we like.
We don't need sandwich experts because we know what we like.
Peanut butter and sardines.
because we know what we like.
Peanut butter and sardines.
What, they're both healthy fats.
Peanut butter and sardines.
What, they're both healthy fats.
And it's what I like.
What, they're both healthy fats.
And it's what I like.
If you don't like it, it doesn't And it's what I like.
If you don't like it, it doesn't matter because there's no If you don't like it, it doesn't matter because there's no objective truth to what tastes matter because there's no objective truth to what tastes best.
objective truth to what tastes best.
We think of wine as a high-class best.
We think of wine as a high-class item only accessible by We think of wine as a high-class item only accessible by high-class people, item only accessible by high-class people, but it's just tasty fermented high-class people, but it's just tasty fermented grapes.
but it's just tasty fermented grapes.
So you know what? grapes.
So you know what? Forget the snobs, So you know what? Forget the snobs, take risks and drink what tastes Forget the snobs, take risks and drink what tastes good to you.
take risks and drink what tastes good to you.
Wait.
Really? good to you.
Wait.
Really? You mean I can drink whatever I Wait.
Really? You mean I can drink whatever I want? You mean I can drink whatever I want? Yeah.
want? Yeah.
Freedom! Who wants to split a box of white zin? Yeah! I've missed this so much! I love it! Great.
So Thank you for an enlightening time.
Thank you for an enlightening time.
I think we've all learned a lot.
time.
I think we've all learned a lot.
Yeah.
I think we've all learned a lot.
Yeah.
Sorry you missed dinner.
Yeah.
Sorry you missed dinner.
You know, it's time to split, so Sorry you missed dinner.
You know, it's time to split, so enjoy your sandwich that you You know, it's time to split, so enjoy your sandwich that you brought to a restaurant.
enjoy your sandwich that you brought to a restaurant.
Oh, what'd you guys have, by brought to a restaurant.
Oh, what'd you guys have, by the way? Oh, what'd you guys have, by the way? We all had the fish.
the way? We all had the fish.
I had the orange roughy, We all had the fish.
I had the orange roughy, Emily had the salmon, and I had the orange roughy, Emily had the salmon, and Veronica had the white tuna, Emily had the salmon, and Veronica had the white tuna, okay? Veronica had the white tuna, okay? Oh.
okay? Oh.
What? Oh.
What? You don't really want to What? You don't really want to know.
You don't really want to know.
At this point, just lay it on know.
At this point, just lay it on me.
At this point, just lay it on me.
Okay, first, I want to finish me.
Okay, first, I want to finish my sandwich.
Okay, first, I want to finish my sandwich.
Oh, my God.
Did you know that lobster was originally considered food for the poor? originally considered food for the poor? It didn't become associated with the poor? It didn't become associated with wealth and luxury until World It didn't become associated with wealth and luxury until World War II, when food rationing wealth and luxury until World War II, when food rationing cased shortages-- War II, when food rationing cased shortages-- Ahem.
You were supposed to cased shortages-- Ahem.
You were supposed to tell us what's wrong with what Ahem.
You were supposed to tell us what's wrong with what we ordered.
tell us what's wrong with what we ordered.
Of course, happy to.
we ordered.
Of course, happy to.
I think it's time we visit the Of course, happy to.
I think it's time we visit the ghost of dinner past.
I think it's time we visit the ghost of dinner past.
Are you talking about farts? ghost of dinner past.
Are you talking about farts? No, time travel.
Are you talking about farts? No, time travel.
Everybody hold hands.
No, time travel.
Everybody hold hands.
And you think, you wink, you do Everybody hold hands.
And you think, you wink, you do a double blink And you think, you wink, you do a double blink Just do it.
Is that us? Yep.
I am so cute.
Hi, I don't have a reservation.
Table for two, please.
reservation.
Table for two, please.
That's not what it looks Table for two, please.
That's not what it looks like.
That's not what it looks like.
No, come on.
like.
No, come on.
Do you have water? No, come on.
Do you have water? Just a joke.
Do you have water? Just a joke.
Excuse me.
Just a joke.
Excuse me.
You are very pretty.
Excuse me.
You are very pretty.
Uh, they can't see or hear You are very pretty.
Uh, they can't see or hear us.
Uh, they can't see or hear us.
Aww.
Anyway, the awful truth about restaurants is that often the food you order isn't the food restaurants is that often the food you order isn't the food you get, especially when it food you order isn't the food you get, especially when it comes to seafood.
Yes, I will have the salmon.
Yeah, I love salmon.
Oh, what color do you like Yeah, I love salmon.
Oh, what color do you like it? Oh, what color do you like it? The color that it naturally it? The color that it naturally is? The color that it naturally is? In that case, here it is.
is? In that case, here it is.
Oh, my God, that is so gross.
In that case, here it is.
Oh, my God, that is so gross.
Nearly all farmed salmon Oh, my God, that is so gross.
Nearly all farmed salmon actually starts out a sickly Nearly all farmed salmon actually starts out a sickly gray color.
actually starts out a sickly gray color.
I just need a change! gray color.
I just need a change! In the ocean, wild salmon I just need a change! In the ocean, wild salmon turn pink because they eat In the ocean, wild salmon turn pink because they eat krill, but farmed salmon are fed turn pink because they eat krill, but farmed salmon are fed kibble, made of chicken fat, krill, but farmed salmon are fed kibble, made of chicken fat, soybeans and ground-up feathers.
kibble, made of chicken fat, soybeans and ground-up feathers.
My diet is ruining my soybeans and ground-up feathers.
My diet is ruining my complexion, but I just can't My diet is ruining my complexion, but I just can't stop! complexion, but I just can't stop! Manufacturers then dye the stop! Manufacturers then dye the fish pink to make it more Manufacturers then dye the fish pink to make it more appetizing to unwitting fish pink to make it more appetizing to unwitting consumers.
appetizing to unwitting consumers.
I love it! consumers.
I love it! The funny thing is, salmon I love it! The funny thing is, salmon would actually be a lot cheaper The funny thing is, salmon would actually be a lot cheaper if it weren't dyed, but we just would actually be a lot cheaper if it weren't dyed, but we just gotta have pink fish.
if it weren't dyed, but we just gotta have pink fish.
No! gotta have pink fish.
No! I was gonna go to school! No! I was gonna go to school! Yuck.
I was gonna go to school! Yuck.
Well, I'll order wild salmon Yuck.
Well, I'll order wild salmon from now on.
Well, I'll order wild salmon from now on.
Actually, even when the menu from now on.
Actually, even when the menu says wild salmon, a lot of the Actually, even when the menu says wild salmon, a lot of the time, you're getting farmed says wild salmon, a lot of the time, you're getting farmed salmon and you just don't know time, you're getting farmed salmon and you just don't know it.
salmon and you just don't know it.
Fine.
it.
Fine.
Tuna.
Fine.
Tuna.
Oh, don't even get me started Tuna.
Oh, don't even get me started on tuna.
Oh, don't even get me started on tuna.
No.
on tuna.
No.
I said, don't even get me No.
I said, don't even get me started on tuna! I said, don't even get me started on tuna! What's wrong with tuna? started on tuna! What's wrong with tuna? It's what I ordered.
What's wrong with tuna? It's what I ordered.
I have to know.
It's what I ordered.
I have to know.
Chances are it wasn't tuna.
I have to know.
Chances are it wasn't tuna.
The mislabeling of fish is Chances are it wasn't tuna.
The mislabeling of fish is rampant in the restaurant The mislabeling of fish is rampant in the restaurant industry.
rampant in the restaurant industry.
A study by Oceana found that 59% industry.
A study by Oceana found that 59% of the tuna they genetically A study by Oceana found that 59% of the tuna they genetically tested from grocery stores and of the tuna they genetically tested from grocery stores and restaurants wasn't tuna at all.
tested from grocery stores and restaurants wasn't tuna at all.
In sushi restaurants, the number restaurants wasn't tuna at all.
In sushi restaurants, the number was 74%.
In sushi restaurants, the number was 74%.
Oh, God.
was 74%.
Oh, God.
What is it? Oh, God.
What is it? Is it little bugs? What is it? Is it little bugs? No, it's just other kinds of Is it little bugs? No, it's just other kinds of fish.
No, it's just other kinds of fish.
Usually, a snake mackerel called "escolar.
" Well, whatever, so long as it tastes good.
Oh, yeah, escolar tastes great.
Oh, yeah, escolar tastes great.
And you'll be fine, for a few great.
And you'll be fine, for a few hours.
And you'll be fine, for a few hours.
But the flesh of escolar hours.
But the flesh of escolar contains waxy deposits that are But the flesh of escolar contains waxy deposits that are not easy to digest.
contains waxy deposits that are not easy to digest.
This is so good.
not easy to digest.
This is so good.
(stomach gurgling) This is so good.
(stomach gurgling) I feel so not good.
(stomach gurgling) I feel so not good.
Ugh.
I feel so not good.
Ugh.
You'll probably need this.
Ugh.
You'll probably need this.
It makes you poop.
You'll probably need this.
It makes you poop.
Yeah, we got it.
It makes you poop.
Yeah, we got it.
Okay, how does this happen? Yeah, we got it.
Okay, how does this happen? Is it legal? Okay, how does this happen? Is it legal? No, it isn't, but it's pretty Is it legal? No, it isn't, but it's pretty hard to catch the perps when we No, it isn't, but it's pretty hard to catch the perps when we keep eating the evidence.
But you know what is legal, the renaming of "trash fish" to make them sound more appetizing.
the renaming of "trash fish" to make them sound more appetizing.
What? make them sound more appetizing.
What? And your orange roughy.
What? And your orange roughy.
Mmm, sounds tasty.
And your orange roughy.
Mmm, sounds tasty.
Oh, yeah, it does.
Mmm, sounds tasty.
Oh, yeah, it does.
But it didn't back when the same fish was called the "slimehead.
" Ugh.
Popular species have been so depleted that fisherman have resorted to giving more depleted that fisherman have resorted to giving more appetizing names to weird-ass resorted to giving more appetizing names to weird-ass fish that used to be considered appetizing names to weird-ass fish that used to be considered too gross to eat.
fish that used to be considered too gross to eat.
No tuna today, Chef.
too gross to eat.
No tuna today, Chef.
Slimehead is all we got.
No tuna today, Chef.
Slimehead is all we got.
I can't serve these Slimehead is all we got.
I can't serve these disgusting things! I can't serve these disgusting things! Even the name makes me want to disgusting things! Even the name makes me want to hurl.
Even the name makes me want to hurl.
Well, maybe we can come up hurl.
Well, maybe we can come up with a new one, then.
Well, maybe we can come up with a new one, then.
Well, they're orange and kind of with a new one, then.
Well, they're orange and kind of rough.
Well, they're orange and kind of rough.
What about orange roughy? rough.
What about orange roughy? Hmm.
What about orange roughy? Hmm.
Yes, those dummies should buy Hmm.
Yes, those dummies should buy that! Ha! Yes, those dummies should buy that! Ha! Kill me that! Ha! Kill me (women giggling) Kill me (women giggling) It's true.
(women giggling) It's true.
Overfishing is a really serious It's true.
Overfishing is a really serious problem.
Overfishing is a really serious problem.
Oh, that is so interesting.
problem.
Oh, that is so interesting.
Dad? Oh, that is so interesting.
Dad? Wait, this is your dad? Dad? Wait, this is your dad? He's so charming.
Wait, this is your dad? He's so charming.
Yep, this is my actual father, David Conover, a marine biologist at Stony Brook University.
Uh, Dad, these are my best friends, Emily and the other ones.
friends, Emily and the other ones.
Sorry, we're your best ones.
Sorry, we're your best friends? Sorry, we're your best friends? You know, we hang out.
friends? You know, we hang out.
That is so sad.
You know, we hang out.
That is so sad.
I'm sorry, tell me more.
That is so sad.
I'm sorry, tell me more.
Let me tell you how bad I'm sorry, tell me more.
Let me tell you how bad overfishing is.
Let me tell you how bad overfishing is.
A recent study showed that 58% overfishing is.
A recent study showed that 58% of the world's fish docks are A recent study showed that 58% of the world's fish docks are either overfished or collapsed.
of the world's fish docks are either overfished or collapsed.
Oh, my God.
either overfished or collapsed.
Oh, my God.
Okay, Dad.
Oh, my God.
Okay, Dad.
Can anything be done about this Okay, Dad.
Can anything be done about this problem? Can anything be done about this problem? Yeah, with respect to problem? Yeah, with respect to overfishing, we need to reduce Yeah, with respect to overfishing, we need to reduce the amount of fish we're overfishing, we need to reduce the amount of fish we're harvesting.
the amount of fish we're harvesting.
We need to make sure that the harvesting.
We need to make sure that the fish species that are being We need to make sure that the fish species that are being overharvested are exempt from fish species that are being overharvested are exempt from harvesting until they recover.
overharvested are exempt from harvesting until they recover.
It's all part of what we call harvesting until they recover.
It's all part of what we call ecosystem-based management.
It's all part of what we call ecosystem-based management.
Wait.
ecosystem-based management.
Wait.
How does that lead to fish Wait.
How does that lead to fish mislabeling, though? How does that lead to fish mislabeling, though? When the most popular fish mislabeling, though? When the most popular fish are depleted, the fishing When the most popular fish are depleted, the fishing industry has to find new species are depleted, the fishing industry has to find new species to harvest.
industry has to find new species to harvest.
There's thousands of fish in the to harvest.
There's thousands of fish in the sea that we serve for food, There's thousands of fish in the sea that we serve for food, but the public knows the names sea that we serve for food, but the public knows the names of only a few of those fish, so but the public knows the names of only a few of those fish, so mislabeling is the obvious of only a few of those fish, so mislabeling is the obvious result.
mislabeling is the obvious result.
Yeah, like anyone could learn result.
Yeah, like anyone could learn all the names of all those fish.
Yeah, like anyone could learn all the names of all those fish.
Well, some of us do know the all the names of all those fish.
Well, some of us do know the names of those fish.
Well, some of us do know the names of those fish.
(laughing) names of those fish.
(laughing) Dad, not everyone loves fish (laughing) Dad, not everyone loves fish and wants to marry a fish or Dad, not everyone loves fish and wants to marry a fish or whatever.
and wants to marry a fish or whatever.
Stop embarrassing me! whatever.
Stop embarrassing me! Sorry, Adam.
Stop embarrassing me! Sorry, Adam.
See you at Sunday dinner.
Sorry, Adam.
See you at Sunday dinner.
Bye, Dad.
Wow, I really liked him.
Like, you could learn something from him.
Like, you could learn something from him.
Yes.
something from him.
Yes.
And he's, like, nice.
Yes.
And he's, like, nice.
Yeah, your dad is super And he's, like, nice.
Yeah, your dad is super handsome.
Yeah, your dad is super handsome.
I wouldn't even have known he handsome.
I wouldn't even have known he was your dad.
I wouldn't even have known he was your dad.
It's like, you sound smart, was your dad.
It's like, you sound smart, but he is smart.
It's like, you sound smart, but he is smart.
You know what? but he is smart.
You know what? Let's get dessert.
You know what? Let's get dessert.
Yeah! Let's get dessert.
Yeah! Oh, you definitely don't want Yeah! Oh, you definitely don't want dessert.
Oh, you definitely don't want dessert.
Give me a break, Adam.
dessert.
Give me a break, Adam.
What, you don't like drinks, you Give me a break, Adam.
What, you don't like drinks, you don't like dinner, you don't What, you don't like drinks, you don't like dinner, you don't like dessert, you don't like don't like dinner, you don't like dessert, you don't like restaurants at all, I mean, what like dessert, you don't like restaurants at all, I mean, what is your glitch? restaurants at all, I mean, what is your glitch? Look, I know these facts is your glitch? Look, I know these facts sound like bummers, but I was Look, I know these facts sound like bummers, but I was just about to explain how sound like bummers, but I was just about to explain how learning them can actually make just about to explain how learning them can actually make the restaurant experience so learning them can actually make the restaurant experience so much more-- the restaurant experience so much more-- You truly are a demon.
much more-- You truly are a demon.
(whistling) Okay, so why do you have such a problem with restaurants? What, do you hate going to a a problem with restaurants? What, do you hate going to a nice place, having a nice time? What, do you hate going to a nice place, having a nice time? Oh, no, I love it, and nice place, having a nice time? Oh, no, I love it, and restaurants can be wonderful.
Oh, no, I love it, and restaurants can be wonderful.
We just need to remember that restaurants can be wonderful.
We just need to remember that all of this is an illusion.
We just need to remember that all of this is an illusion.
Haven't you ever wondered where all of this is an illusion.
Haven't you ever wondered where restaurants come from? Haven't you ever wondered where restaurants come from? Hmm, nope.
restaurants come from? Hmm, nope.
I know cavemen had Hmm, nope.
I know cavemen had drive-thrus.
I know cavemen had drive-thrus.
You're thinking about the drive-thrus.
You're thinking about the Flintstones, honey.
You're thinking about the Flintstones, honey.
In France, after the Flintstones, honey.
In France, after the revolution toppled the In France, after the revolution toppled the aristocracy, revolution toppled the aristocracy, rich people's personal chefs had aristocracy, rich people's personal chefs had nowhere to work, so they opened rich people's personal chefs had nowhere to work, so they opened fine dining restaurants so that nowhere to work, so they opened fine dining restaurants so that even the common man could eat fine dining restaurants so that even the common man could eat like a king for a day.
even the common man could eat like a king for a day.
Now, you're not a king.
like a king for a day.
Now, you're not a king.
It's an illusion.
Now, you're not a king.
It's an illusion.
But as long as you don't take It's an illusion.
But as long as you don't take the illusion too seriously But as long as you don't take the illusion too seriously or exploit the people who are the illusion too seriously or exploit the people who are serving you, it's fine.
or exploit the people who are serving you, it's fine.
We just need to all remember serving you, it's fine.
We just need to all remember that we created this miniature We just need to all remember that we created this miniature world, so we can change it that we created this miniature world, so we can change it however we want.
world, so we can change it however we want.
If we leave the bad parts and however we want.
If we leave the bad parts and keep the good parts, we'll all If we leave the bad parts and keep the good parts, we'll all have a better time.
keep the good parts, we'll all have a better time.
So what's your problem have a better time.
So what's your problem with dessert? So what's your problem with dessert? Oh, I love dessert.
with dessert? Oh, I love dessert.
I just don't like dessert in Oh, I love dessert.
I just don't like dessert in restaurants.
I just don't like dessert in restaurants.
Come on, it's always the same, restaurants.
Come on, it's always the same, like crème brûlée and molten Come on, it's always the same, like crème brûlée and molten lava cake.
like crème brûlée and molten lava cake.
Let's get ice cream.
lava cake.
Let's get ice cream.
This man know stuff.
Let's get ice cream.
This man know stuff.
Yeah, I-- This man know stuff.
Yeah, I-- Yeah.
Yeah, I-- Yeah.
Fun fact about ice cream.
Yeah.
Fun fact about ice cream.
Hey, come on, man.
Fun fact about ice cream.
Hey, come on, man.
Give it a rest, you jerk.
Hey, come on, man.
Give it a rest, you jerk.
Hey, lay off! Give it a rest, you jerk.
Hey, lay off! How about you give it a rest? Hey, lay off! How about you give it a rest? Tuna isn't real.
How about you give it a rest? Tuna isn't real.
Okay, hey, calm down.
Tuna isn't real.
Okay, hey, calm down.
Hey.
Okay, hey, calm down.
Hey.
Hey, lay off.
Hey.
Hey, lay off.
Come on.
Hey, lay off.
Come on.
What, are we on a playground Come on.
What, are we on a playground here? Did you know the ice cream cone was invented in 1904 at the World's Fair in-- Adam, don't you ever just stop and enjoy things? Oh, no, that's how I enjoy stop and enjoy things? Oh, no, that's how I enjoy things.
Oh, no, that's how I enjoy things.
Oh, wow.
things.
Oh, wow.
A shooting star.
Oh, yeah, that's not a shooting star.
It's a satellite.
Hey, Emily.
Is Haylie single? No.
Is Haylie single? No.
I mean, like, yes, but No.
I mean, like, yes, but No.
Oh, hey, did you guys valet? I would love a ride.
Next time on "Adam Ruins Everything" Did you know you just washed Everything" Did you know you just washed your mouth with floor cleaner? Did you know you just washed your mouth with floor cleaner? We'll tell Americans they're your mouth with floor cleaner? We'll tell Americans they're dirty, filthy garbage people.
We'll tell Americans they're dirty, filthy garbage people.
The massive flimflam that is dirty, filthy garbage people.
The massive flimflam that is the flushable wipe.
The massive flimflam that is the flushable wipe.
And I ate all your old the flushable wipe.
And I ate all your old antidepressants! And I ate all your old antidepressants! (screaming)