Adventure Time: Fionna & Cake (2023) s01e05 Episode Script

1
Hush, now, hush,
don't cry little one ♪
Please don't you cry
or the Snowman will come ♪
Keep him quiet!
You keep quiet!
The Snowman!
If you think about it,
it's the perfect solution.
As Ice King,
I'll be powerful enough
to fend off this scarab person
who's after us.
I'll be immortal, so your
universe will last forever
instead of dying with me.
And finally,
I'll be magic again,
ergo magic will be restored
to your world,
just like you want.
Hmm.
Sounds great!
No downsides!
Question, though.
Yes?
How do we get back
inside your head
after Fionna-world
is cool again?
I'll just re-create
the same ritual
that brought you here
on accident, on purpose!
But first, we need to find
another magic crown
somewhere in the multiverse.
Multiverse means
multi-crowns to nab.
It'll be easy as hunting
down a mouse
in a, uh,
uh, a big ol'
pile of mice!
We should start
by searching this world
wherever we are.
Let's get lookin'!
Uh oh.
Fionna?
Yes!
Finally.
Should you be messing
with that?
We need to know what
we're dealing with here.
Should you be messing
with that?
Hey.
Was I out long?
Oh, you're up!
I got you something
to eat.
Huh? Wuh!
Waaahh!
Blech!
You love it.
You love this.
Let's find
the nearest library.
It could give us clues on where
to begin looking for the crown.
To the library!
Ha!
Fionna's a turbonerd!
Wait, no!
I take it back!
Ugh.
Huh
Okay, this is really
starting to smell.
Hold this for me?
Any excuse
to be more naked.
Don't make it weird.
No, I respect it!
Looks like we're going
the right way.
Oh! Sweet!
Road loot!
Oh!
Ooh.
Whoa!
A real Vespucci!
I could never afford
one of these back home.
That's ugly.
I want it!
You both look
kind of conspicuous.
We should keep a low profile
until we know what's what.
Relax, dude.
I've played a lot
of post-apocalyptic RPGs.
The more loot,
the better.
Let's keep moving.
Lighten up, man.
If the bug guy hasn't caught us
by now, maybe he gave up!
Something funny?
Nothing, nothing.
It's just, good luck
working the TV wall
without the remote.
Ha ha ha!
Tires! Tires!
They're round, they're rubber!
Get 'em here!
I feel right at home!
You're the one
who's conspicuous here.
Yeah, man, you stick out
like a sore thumb!
The cat talked!
It must be magic!
Ha, everybody knows
there's been no magic
since the days
of the Snowman.
- Aah!
- Cake!
Act like a normal cat!
Fine.
Meow meow.
Is this what you want?
Hey, a library!
Oh, thank goodness!
Listen up, rabble!
We're 'bout to get
this funeral started.
So shut up and pay respects!
Introducing
the savior of the wastelands
and defeater of the Snowman,
Bi-i-i-i-i-i-i-g Destiny!
Today, sadness is not allowed.
Today we party for the dead body
of Popcorn!
Whooo!
Old Man Popcorn
finally croak?
Popcorn was
a bomb warlord,
the last of his tribe!
He died doing what he loved--
trying to ride alligator
like horse!
Popcorn seemed cool.
Enjoy the sky arena!
Fight big ghosts
and win, Popcorn!
Popcorn!
Popcorn!
Popcorn!
Popco-o-o-o-rn!
Funeral over!
All Popcorn gang territory
goes to Destiny gang.
Uhhh, everyone here knows
Popcorn signed a treaty
on his deathbed
making all the territory
from the creek
to the end
of the great ditch
the domain
of the Reindeer Boys.
Anybody else?
Destiny gang rules!
That's how you do it,
my little Destiny.
No speeches,
just strong punching!
Like I said,
low profile.
Boring!
Look
It's like I said.
You gotta punch and push
your way around
to get what you want.
Hey, you!
Ohh!
What do you know
about the magic crown?
Uhh!
Hey, you!
Aah!
What do you know
about a magic crown?!
Please!
I'm just a sweet butcher!
Grrrr!
I have the magic crown
you seek.
But the price I ask
is very steep!
Okay, weird man.
Name your price.
The crown is but
the rarest of treasure.
Present your wares
and I'll take their measure.
Uh, we should really verify
it's the crown before we--
Nah, nah, nah.
Oh, that's my phone.
Hmm
A futuristic device?
I think
that's pretty nice!
Well it's no good
to me here anyway.
It's got the worm game!
Deal.
Here, m'dear!
Is this the magic crown?
No, that's trash.
Give it back!
No returns,
fair is fair.
You got burned
and I don't care.
You crook!
Uhh
Whoo, Cake!
We gotta get out
of here!
Whoa!
Magic fist!
Cake,
you're too reckless!
Ah, nobody saw that.
Magic cat!
Ohh, I'ma eat that cat.
Then when I get
magic fist,
Daddy will have to
make me gang leader!
Trauma Jon
Fionna!
Nobody eats Cake!
Heh heh.
Uhh!
Stupid bunny.
I'd cut your nose off,
but it looks like somebody
beat me to it.
Or maybe I'll take
an ear instead.
Huh?
How about your nose,
bully-boy?
No!
Back off.
Little Destiny
You're a long way
from home, Jay.
Destiny gang gonna
kick your--
Remember your place.
Ugh!
I'ma gonna get so big!
Then I'ma get you,
too, L.D.!
Now, what do I do with--
Stay!
Don't come here again,
get it?!
Go!
Wake up! Huh?
I'ma eat that ca-a-a-t!
Who are you?
Shh. Not here.
When I heard you talking
about the crown,
I could tell
you're new here.
Locals don't like
talking about magic.
Do you?
Hard not to.
My dad was the one
who found the crown.
What?!
Jay
I have to meet your dad.
Ha, where do you think
we're going?
Did you hear that,
Fionna?
He must be this world's
version of me.
Watch your step.
Dad!
Dang, apocalypse Simon
is rugged.
No, that's Finn.
Apocalypse you!
You brought outsiders.
Don't be mad.
I know I'm not supposed
to bring anyone home, but
they were in trouble.
This is Fionna
and Simon,
and this is Cake.
Hello, handsome.
Magic cat.
I don't truck with magic,
you know that.
Aw, she's okay, Pop!
Peanut was gonna eat her!
He swore he would!
I don't like you mixing it up
with the Destiny gang.
It's not our way.
Yes, Dad.
Math.
Y'all can stay
here tonight.
Kids, set the table
for three more.
Yes, Daddy.
You too, Bonnie.
But I'm scratching
Jake!
No buts.
Fine.
Don't dither
in the doorway.
Sit down.
Scootch.
Dad, there's a cat
at the table.
The cat is also a guest.
Oh.
Hi, cat.
Hey, cutie.
It can talk!
That's why they got chased
by the Destiny gang.
Whoa, really?
That's so cool.
Poor kitty.
What do we do if the destiny
gang comes here?
I'll slay them
if I have to.
Ohh, I can't wait
till I'm old enough
to kill some jerks.
Who wants soup?
Definitely Prismo.
You there
have you seen a group
of travelers recently?
Strange ones.
I might feel smarter
if you had something
to barter.
I offer you
your unmurdered life.
Aaaaahh!
Man, cat, and woman followed
Jay Mertens west.
I hope that answers
your request.
This soup's got
such a deep flavor.
It's been simmering
for years.
It's the soup mom was cooking
the day she died.
We just keep adding to it.
Like a veritable
"soup of Theseus."
No.
My mom made it.
No, see,
because it's a reference
to the famous
thought experiment
by British philosopher
Thomas Hobbes
Don't tell anyone about this,
'kay, dog?
Only with soup parts
instead of ship planks
Dude, what are you
talking about?
Cake?
Yes?!
Can all kitties talk
where you're from?
No, but maybe they will
once we find that magic crown
and plop it on Simon.
Wow!
You're looking
for a magic crown?
That's actually
why we're here.
Jay tells us that you know
something of its past and--
You're a damn fool!
Not cool, farm boy.
You can sleep out
in the hayloft.
Be gone at first light.
Now you two should kiss.
Ooh!
Shh. My dad has ears
like a bat.
Fionna.
Wh-- I'm up.
I remembered
something important.
Dad doesn't speak
of the crown,
but one time he drank cider
that had gone hard
and he let slip
where he found it.
Oh!
A big crater a few miles
from here.
Come on. I was heading
to the crater anyway.
Can I come?
Bonnie!
Pleeeeeeease?
Good evening.
Mr. Mertens, is it?
Apologies for calling
so late,
but I'm looking for
some friends of mine.
Perhaps you've seen them?
An old man and a girl
with a cat.
Nobody's here but me
and my kids.
Oh, I love children.
Such a blessing.
Well, I'd best continue
my search then.
Yeah, you'd best.
You have to bounce.
Phbt! Daddy!
Jay took the magic kitty
to the destiny crater
and said I couldn't come!
Then he stuffed me
in the hay
when I said I'd tattle.
Get back in the house.
Wake your siblings.
Barricade the doors.
Hup.
Oof!
This is the spot.
Be quiet when you dig around
for the crown, okay?
I don't even know
where to begin.
Hey, Simon,
what does it smell like?
I can sniff it out
with my cat senses.
Huh.
I guess I kinda associate it
with the smell
of freshly cut grass?
Grass, grass, grass.
Work that thang!
Hey, I think I got something!
You guys go check it out.
Imma go keep
a lookout.
Under here.
Good kitty!
That's not fair!
Looks like the crown
was annihilated
by some very
powerful magic
or something
even worse.
Aw, man.
We'll have to try
another universe.
Give it here!
Let's think about this!
What's there
to think about?
There's squat
for us here.
Crap, it's that
evil mullet kid!
Jay!
Behind you!
Run, kid!
Whaaaaaaa--
What?
It's cool.
She's with me.
Oh, I love
a forbidden romance.
I wanna hear how these
two lovebugs got together.
Tell us everything.
Well
A couple months back,
after Dad spilled the beans,
I came here to see if I could
find other cool stuff.
Mathematical!
Little Destiny:
Hey, loser!
This dirty hole
is Destiny gang territory!
Anything you find here
is ours!
I found the most beautiful
jewel here tonight.
But I also found
this old thing.
I'll let you go
this time
but come back again
and I gut you.
And we've been secretly
together ever since.
Enemies to lovers--
my favorite.
Little Destiny!
Uh-oh.
A twist!
You feel cold again.
I've been searching for cures
in the old library,
but I've had no luck
so far.
Help her, Simon,
you're a doctor!
I'm an antiquarian,
damn it.
You should really
tell your dad!
No. Being weak
is not an option.
That's right,
my traitorous daughter!
Weakness is worse
than coughing death!
See?!
I told you.
She's been doing
mouth high fives
with our enemies!
Here's your reward!
Uhh! Aaah!
Father of the year!
Knife you!
Whaa-- Aah!
Eat paw!
Aah!
No!
You got Big D'd.
Little Destiny: Jay!
Fionna,
where's the remote?
Backpack.
Dad, let go!
Bro!
What's this trash?!
Jay gave it to me!
We're in love!
Ha!
Love is weak.
But jewels are hot.
That's a piece
of the magic crown!
It's infused with ice magic!
That's what's been
making you sick!
Oh, no.
Of course!
"Love-romance"
was just a play
by this fart baby
to take you down.
If we get that jewel,
I can use it to reprogram
the remote
to track magic crowns.
Jay wouldn't do that.
Daughter
prove that you're bigtime.
Huh?
Let them go.
Dad, no!
If you really believe
I would hurt you--
ugh-- then do it,
Little Destiny!
Finish what you started
on the most beautiful night
of my life!
I got it!
Big Destiny:
Waste this loser
with ruthless stabbing.
Aah!
Huh?
One jewel.
Good job, Cake!
Pardon my late arrival.
I stopped to pick
some wild fennel.
Mother crud.
Uh,
you got this, bro!
Jay, get Little Destiny
out of here.
Aw,
that was very sweet.
Aaah!
Hit the button!
Hit the button!