Agatha All Along (2024) s01e05 Episode Script

Agatha Harkness. You have
betrayed your coven.
Mother!
[CHANTING IN LATIN]
[SCREAMS AND GASPS]
[WITCHES SCREAM]
[RIO] I'll make sure to tell
them where to find you.
Who, specifically?
[RIO] The Salem Seven.
Who is this child?
- This is my pet. Say hi, Pet.
- Hi.
Watch your back with Agatha.
I know how people feel about her.
[JEN] She probably wouldn't
even recognize her own son
if he just showed up at her doorstep.
They say no one really knows
what happened to him.
[AGATHA] What if we summon
a backup Green Witch?
- [ALL GASP AND SCREAM]
- Surprise.
[LILIA] We've been cursed.
The only way to end
a curse is to face it.
I can kill it.
I feel lighter.
[AGATHA] What if we just call a truce?
Agatha? That boy isn't yours.
[SALEM SEVEN WITCHES] Agatha Harkness.
Find her.
Agatha! Find her. Find them.
Agatha Harkness. Agatha Harkness.
[VOICES WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]
[LILIA GASPS]
They're coming. We have to go.
- What?
- The summoning spell.
We left the door open.
What are you talking about?
What did you see?
Go on, Lilia. Tell them.
- The Salem Seven.
- [JEN GASPS]
Scary black dresses?
When Agatha killed her original coven
By stealing their power.
Because her own mother tried
to have her executed.
Are you really defending a noted
serial killer, you creepy lurker?
Come on, someone finish the story.
When Agatha murdered her sister witches,
she spared their young children.
Yeah, and then they became a feral,
hive-minded coven bent on revenge.
[AGATHA] Whoa, ah!
The moral of the story, kids,
is always finish what you started.
Also, mercy is overrated.
All right, everybody,
pack up your shit! Let's go!
[WOLF BAYS]
- Oh, jeez!
- That was ahead of us.
- [SALEM SEVEN WITCH SCREECHES]
- [LILIA SCREAMS]
- That's behind us.
- We're trapped.
What about a hexenbesen?
- Horrible idea.
- Absolutely not.
- [RIO] Yeah!
- That's a terrible idea.
- Yes.
- Well, if you're all too cool
for a practical means of escape
- [WITCHES SCREECH]
- [ALL GASP]
- No, brooms are great.
- [JEN] No, no, no.
This is so humiliating. Here.
Why does your generation
hate them so much?
[LILIA] Brooms have been co-opted
by the holiday industrial complex
as an absurd emblem of our culture.
Worse yet, they're an obvious
symbol of female domesticity.
And they're basic.
[CHANTING IN LATIN]
- Thank you.
You could have done better.
It's about selflessness, Teen.
Oh, is it? Tell us more.
We fly together or not at all.
[ALICE] Hey.
- I get one?
- If you give me one back, yeah.
Yeah. Let me just Oh!
- All right, come on!
- There you go.
[OWL HOOTS]
Oh, no.
[ALL GASP AND YELL]
Get off of him. [GRUNTS]
Teen, hurry! Just finish the ritual!
Finish the ritual!
[BOTH CHANTING IN LATIN]
- All right. Let's go.
- You okay?
- All right. Go, go! Okay.
Whoo!
- Wait. How do you do this?
- Keep up, Teen!
[TEEN] Okay. You got this.
Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!
Try praying to the Divine Mother, kiddo!
[SCREECHES]
We got to get off The Road.
Move!
[EXCLAIMS]
[LILIA] This is incredible.
[LILIA LAUGHS]
I haven't done this in centuries.
Why haven't we been
doing this all along?
[ALL EXCLAIM]
What's going on?
It's The Road. It's forcing us down.
- [ALICE] We're going to crash
- [RIO] My God!
[JEN] It won't let us leave!
[SCREAMING]
[LAUGHING]
[ALICE] Oh, my God!
[AGATHA] Okay. We're okay.
The next trial!
- [SCREECHES]
- [ALL SCREAMING]
[TEEN] Oh, my God!
[JEN] Hurry!
[AGATHA] Hurry, go, go, go!
[ALL GASPING]
[AGATHA GROANS] Oh, my God!
Okay. All right. Okay. Okay.
We're okay.
No, we're not! The entire Halloween
aisle's outside waiting for us.
And it doesn't look like
they can get in, does it?
So all we have to do
is complete the trial
and continue on before
they can reach us. Okay?
How? Kiss, Marry, Kill?
My spell book. I can't find it.
Where'd you have it the last time?
Flying on a broom.
Forget it. You can take
the training wheels off.
Whose trial is this?
[CHUCKLES] Agatha's.
[TEEN] How do you know?
A blood moon.
When the veil between the living
and the dead is at its thinnest.
[TEEN] Wait. I thought talking to
the dead was your department.
Oh, common misconception.
I read people, I read time.
But talking to spirits was just a con.
And who better to commune with the dead
than someone who's put
so many in the grave?
We have to Ouija.
- [WATCH ALARM BEEPS]
- [GASPS]
It's not a verb.
[TEEN] Come on. We have to do this.
Uh, Spanish, Chinese
Ah, English.
Okay. "Number one, do not
use the Ouija board alone.
Number two, do not
speak over each other".
It's not written there. Show me that.
"Three! Do not taunt the spirits".
What?
I repeat, do not taunt the spirits.
"Four, do not ask about death.
Five, always end your
session with goodbye.
Six, do not, under any circumstances,
remove your hand from the planchette.
If you do so, a spirit
will be released".
What does it say on the back?
"For ages three and up".
Okay.
Wonder who's waiting for you.
And with what trauma.
Pff! It could be literally
anybody. So
[CLEARS THROAT]
Mother, Maiden, Crone,
spirits be known.
I can hear something. Shh!
Oh, my God, I'm not moving it.
Are you moving it?
[SHUSHING]
Is someone here with us
during this Witching Hour?
[JEN] Yes.
All right.
And who,
may I ask,
do we have the pleasure
of communing with?
[TEEN] M, R,
S, H,
A,
R, T.
[JEN GASPS] Mrs. Hart?
Hey, girl, feeling better?
How's your face?
No taunting.
[ALL GASP]
- Your hands. What did you do?
- I didn't do it!
- Agatha?
- [GASPS]
[WARBLING]
[IN MRS. HART'S VOICE] Oh, my.
What a journey.
[SIGHS] There I was,
living my tiny life in the burbs,
baking casseroles,
linking in to conspiracy
theories on Facebook,
drinking before noon,
and there you were
bringing chills and thrills
and bringing on my own early demise!
Listen, Mrs. Hart
- She's not Mrs. Hart.
- She's Sharon Davis.
I am. I'm Sharon Davis.
- She's Agatha.
- Yeah.
What? [GIGGLES]
She's just scared.
[CLEARS THROAT]
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Okay.
- I thought that was pretty good.
- The clock is ticking.
[TAPPING FLOOR]
Fine.
Well, let's get to it. Right?
Maiden, Mother, Crone,
spirits be known.
- [CEILING RUSTLING]
- [ALL GASPING SOFTLY]
Who is here with us tonight?
[WHOOSHING]
D, E,
- A, T
- A, T
H. Death.
[LAUGHS]
- We're not supposed to ask about death.
- [ALL SHUSH]
What do you want?
P, U, N, I, S, H.
Punish.
Who do you wanna punish?
[ALL] A, G, A
- T, H
- Stop. All right, stop.
A, G, A, T, H, A.
- Stop. Make it stop!
- A, G, A,
- T, H
- Stop making it do that!
- Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
- [OTHERS ARGUING]
I can't!
What are you doing?
[ALL SCREAM]
- [VOICES SHRIEKING]
- Make it stop!
I would if I could!
I hated this the first time!
Lilia's being weird again.
What do they want?
They already told us.
Punish Agatha!
Meaning, we need to
Yup.
It's how we pass the trial.
Uh, I don't think so.
And after everything she's done,
the lies, the cheating, the complete
and utter lack of humanity.
- No, there has to be another way.
- Right. Yes.
- We could tie her up.
- You're not serious.
- I can't
- Humiliation would work too.
I mean, or we could
just slit her throat.
When people ask me why I
don't have female friends
But we were getting along, weren't we?
We were clicking. There was unity.
Familiars don't get a vote.
[LILIA] What?
Where'd she go?
[ALL GASP]
Oh, my gosh, what's happening?
Agatha. Let's talk about
this for a minute.
We're sisters in the craft, remember?
[ALICE] We need light.
- [VOICE BREATHING HEAVILY]
- Does anyone else hear that?
[ALL SCREAMING]
She's faking it.
[ALICE] Look at her face!
Sweetheart, you okay?
[TEEN] Oh, my gosh.
[ALICE] Not faking! Not faking!
[RIO] What's she doin'?
Where's she goin'?
[TEEN] That is not Agatha!
- She's possessed! For real this time!
- [BARKS]
[JEN] Hey, over here!
- [GASPS]
- [TEEN] No!
[ALICE] Stop it! Let her go!
- What are you doing? You're hurting her.
- [CHOKING]
- [ALICE] Jen. Jen. Okay, okay. Where
- [RIO] Agatha!
Where is she? All right. Where is she?
Agatha!
[ALL GASPING]
What is that?
That is a ghost.
I hate ghosts.
Who Who are you?
Evanora Harkness of the Salemites.
[AGATHA] Hey, Mom.
It was nice having you in my body
for a second there.
I've never felt so close to you before.
My coven risked everything to kill her.
And you fools have willingly joined her.
Stop embarrassing me
in front of my friends, Mom.
So what do we do? Do we banish her?
[LILIA] Emotion ties them to this plane.
They have unfinished business.
So let's finish her business.
- [JEN] Okay.
- [TEEN] What do you want?
You must finish the Witches' Road
without Agatha.
She means punish Agatha.
Leave her with me.
No. No way.
A minute ago you were
ready to slit her throat.
Yeah, well, her mother can't have her.
Mom?
Why do you hate me still?
You were born evil.
I ought to have killed you
the moment you left my body.
We have to go.
- Jen.
- No, no.
There's no flood here. There's no fire.
The only danger to us in this trial
is Agatha Harkness.
Please take me with you.
- Don't. Let me. Please. Don't go!
- We can't leave her here. No, no.
Take me with you. Please.
Don't leave me with her.
I can be good. Please!
No, not again!
Leave her alone. [GRUNTS]
- Knight of Wands.
- No!
[GROANS]
- No!
- [ALICE GROANING]
[LILIA YELLS] No!
Alice!
Just stop! Make her stop!
Who are you?
N, I, C,
H, O, L, A, S, S, C, R, A, T,
C, H.
- Nicholas Scratch.
- [WATCH BEEPS]
Nicholas Scratch!
[NICHOLAS] Mama! Stop.
[WATCH ALARM BEEPING]
Alice. Alice. Wake up.
Alice, please wake up. Alice!
Alice, come on. Alice,
come on. Wake up, Alice.
Alice, please. Please wake up.
Alice. Wake
Don't touch her!
She was protecting you.
But you don't deserve it.
I didn't.
[TEEN] Come on. Wake up.
Wake up. Alice. Alice.
What can you do?
- Nothing.
- [TEEN] What about your panacea?
- It's too late.
- No, it's not!
There's a spell, there's always a spell!
Alice, please wake up. Alice!
Alice! Come on, Alice. Come on.
She's gone.
- Hey! How could you?
- I
- How could you kill her?
- I couldn't I couldn't control it.
Yes, you could have. Don't lie to me.
I'm not.
You wanted her power.
That's what this has always
been about for you, isn't it?
[JEN] Of course it is.
That's what all this is about.
For any of us.
Death comes for us all.
That's what it means to be a witch?
Killing people to serve your own agenda?
No. Not for me.
[SNICKERS]
[WHISPERS] Are you sure?
You're so much like your mother.
Come, Pet.
Wait, what are you Stop!
Wait! Stop! Why are you What?
Why? What is Teen, stop!
Stop! Somebody! Let go of me!
[SCREAMS]
Wait! Help me!
[SCREAMS] Help me! Help me!
- No!
- [BOTH SCREAM]
[LILIA] No! What's happening?
- [JEN SCREAMS]
- [LILIA] No, no, no. No, no!
["YOU SHOULD SEE ME IN A CROWN"
BY BILLIE EILISH PLAYING]