Austin and Ally s01e05 Episode Script

Oh.
Pah! Oh.
Pants sundae.
Oh.
Mmm.
I can't believe this is on the Internet.
I thought I was alone.
Austin, you know there's no eating in the store.
And there's definitely no eating off your pants.
There's no sign for that.
There shouldn't have to be a sign.
To not eat off your pants.
Guess who got a job at pirate Frank's fish fry.
Where every meal is a parrrr-ty.
This is the worst job I've ever had.
I smell like fish guts.
And guess who my new coworker is.
Ahoy, mateys! I just got hired at pirate Frank's, Where every meal is a parrrr-ty.
I can't wait to starrrr-t.
I can save up to buy a carrrr.
Guys, we've got bigger problems - This blog.
- Oh, Miami h8ter girl.
She writes about everything she hates in Miami.
She's so angry and bitter.
I love her.
Well, right now all she hates is Austin.
I mean look at all these embarrassing videos she's posted.
Austin with broccoli in his teeth.
Austin biting his toenails.
Austin checking out a girl.
Oh! That was so embarrassing.
Trish, did you just click "like"? Hey, funny is funny.
when the crowd wants more bring on the thunder 'cause you've got my back and I'm not going under you're my point, you're my guard you're the perfect chord and I see our names together on every billboard we're headed for the top, we've got it on lock we'll make 'em say "hey!" and we'll keep rockin' oh, there's no way I could make it without ya do it without ya, be here without ya it's no fun when you're doing it solo with you it's like, "whoa," yeah, and I know I own this dream 'cause I got you with me there's no way I could make it without ya do it without ya, be here without ya.
I can't believe blogger who hates me.
Don't worry.
Only has like 47 hits.
Okay, maybe worry.
We gotta find out who h8ter girl is.
I'm performing at the mall this weekend.
And I can't have all this bad publicity.
Oh, I've got it! Embarrassing stuff, o.
So don't do anything embarrassing.
You have broccoli in your teeth again.
Keep happening? I don't even eat broccoli.
Maybe you should do only good things.
So h8ter girl to put on her site.
Bad.
Great idea.
Hey, Nelson, come here.
How would you like a shiny new quarter.
- To make a wish in the fountain? - Thanks.
I'm gonna wish for a mustache.
Yup, Austin moon is a good guy.
Who makes little kids' wishes come true.
Nelson! Oh! I got you, Nelson.
Hang in there, buddy.
Are you okay? Are you okay? It's gonna be okay.
I oh! You're supposed to let go of the quarter.
When you throw it in the fountain.
So no mustache? - Sorry, Nelson.
- Aw, nartz.
Austin You just saved Nelson.
Whoo! I'd like to see h8ter girl make that look bad.
"Austin dunks defenseless boy into fountain"? Wow, h8ter girl is good.
I mean bad.
I mean good at being bad, Because she's a bad person but she's just so good.
At being a bad I'll stop talking now.
Here you go.
Sorrrr-y I messed it up the first time.
Dez, what are you doing? Frying a football.
This thing isn't just for frying fish.
You can fry anything in here.
Look, A hammer, My purse.
That's my purse.
Oh, that makes so much more sense.
- Pirate Trish.
- Yes, pirate Frank? I have to go walk the plank.
That's pirate for "use the bathroom.
" While I'm gone I need you to take out the trash, Mop the floor and batter the fish sticks.
Aye aye, Captain.
I live to serve.
Pirate Frank wants you to take out the trash, Mop the floor and batter the fish sticks.
Oh man! What'd he tell you to do? Read this fashion magazine.
Ha ha, sucker! Where's my cellphone? I got it.
I'd give it a few minutes to cool off before you answer it.
Ah.
What's with the tent? I'm living here until the mall concert.
So h8ter girl can't get any more bad footage of me.
I've got everything I need Food, video games, a bathroom But that's a closet.
Oh.
Might not wanna go in there for awhile.
All right, first eww.
Second, I think you're overreacting.
It's just a harmless website.
It's not like h8ter girl is gonna ruin your career.
H8ter girl is ruining your career.
- See? - The owner of the mall saw.
The video of you dunking Nelson into the fountain and cancelled your kig.
Apparently the mall has a no-dunking-kids- into-the-fountain policy.
So strict.
That does it.
We need to find out.
Who h8ter girl is and stop her.
You're right, we can't let her hurt your career any more.
Come on, guys, let's - What's with your shoes? - I fried 'em.
Delicious.
There's no eating shoes in the store.
- There's no sign that says - There shouldn't have to be.
A sign to not eat your shoes.
Fine.
Me? You shush.
Don't shush me.
You shush.
- Can you just go? - Dez, go.
Just go.
So why do we think h8ter girl's going to show up? 'cause Dez emailed her and said he had embarrassing pictures of me.
She said to leave them in that recycling bin.
When h8ter girl comes to get them, We'll find out who she is.
It's perfect.
She'll have no idea we're hiding here.
Hurry up, you doof! The chicken is in the Bucket.
- Is that code for you made the drop? - No, I brought chicken.
I thought we might be here for a while.
- Mmm.
- Good call.
Stakeouts can take all night.
The key is to stay alert and awake.
The recycling bin is gone! Do you think h8ter girl took it? No, it sprouted legs and ran away.
Now what? We blew our shot.
- At catching h8ter girl.
- Sorry, Austin, But look on the bright side At least she didn't get any embarrassing photos of you.
All she got was an empty envelope.
"old school photo of Austin moon"? Why did you give her real pictures? Because I promised.
She may be an evil blogger who's out to destroy my best friend, But I am a man of my word.
This h8ter girl's driving me nuts.
You know what's driving me nuts? Trying to read a magazine with a hook hand.
Your uniform could be a lot worse.
At least you're not the one who has to greet customers.
Dressed as a catfish.
Wait a sec.
That catfish doesn't work here.
We don't serve catfish.
We don't even serve real fish.
That fish has been watching us for five minutes.
That must be h8ter girl.
I'll get her.
Tell pirate Frank I've gone fishing.
Hey, you catfish! Gotcha! - Oh oh, you've got her! - Come on, get 'em! You've got her, just keep going.
Keep going.
Use those pirate muscles! Trish: You can do it.
Let's see who h8ter girl is.
Tilly Thompson? You know her? We went to kindergarten together.
You're h8ter girl? H8ter girl? You mean that beautiful, amazingly talented girl.
Who has that awesome website about how much I hate Austin? Never heard of her.
- Wait wait, hold on.
- Whoa whoa.
You realize you just admitted you're h8ter girl.
I hate it when I admit things.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it! So how did you get all those videos of me? I was always around you.
You just didn't realize, Because I'm a master of disguise.
Here's me as a cowboy, A biker, and here's my favorite.
That lady pushing the stroller doesn't look anything like you.
I'm the baby.
Wah! Wah! Burp me! Look, tilly, you seem like.
A really nice, not-crazy girl.
- Why do you hate me? - I don't hate you.
In fact, I think you're an amazing singer.
Really? Thanks.
- I hate her! - What? - What did I do? - Oh, don't act like you don't know.
I'm not acting.
I really don't know.
You mean you don't spend every minute of every day.
Thinking about my song you ruined in kindergarten? No.
A person who dwells on something every minute.
Of every day for 10 years would have to be insane Ly talented.
And pretty.
How did Ally ruin your song? We were both in Mrs.
Carmichael's class.
As usual, Ally was being her little bossy self.
There's no eating in the classroom.
I was in that class too.
Guess who got a job as the hall monitor! The spring pageant was coming up.
This year's theme was insects.
I wrote "the ladybug song.
" it was brilliant.
I'm a little ladybug.
I have black polka dots.
I love to eat pizza and ride my bicycle.
Everybody lovit.
It was kind of cute, But the lyrics wfre a little all over the place.
I mean, ladybugs don't ride bikes.
Oh, like you know everything about ladybugs.
I I don't know everything, Just that they don't ride bikes.
Whatever.
The point is.
You had to go and write "the butterfly song.
" I'm a little butterfly spread my colorful wings even though I'm small and frail I can do most anything.
Everybody hatit.
And then the class picked which song was going to be in the insect play.
Which one did they pick? Which one did they pick? - They picked Ally's.
- Oh, no way.
I would be so mad if I were you.
- You were saying? - Not fair! My song was better! Ally, you will pay for this! Have fun singing with no lyrics.
There's no eating in the classroom.
That was a special day for me.
It was the first time I realized I wanted to be a songwriter.
It was a special day for me too.
It was the first time I got fired from a job.
Apparently a hall monitor can't charge kids to use the bathroom.
Huh.
Well, it wasn't a special day for me.
It was the day Ally destroyed my dreams.
Look, tilly, It was kindergarten.
We were kids.
"kinder" is German for kids.
And "garten" is German for meatloaf.
Kindergarten meatloaf made of kids.
Your brain is made of meatloaf.
- I don't understand.
- Well, it's one part kid, - One part hamburger, put 'em togher - No.
Why are you.
Taking it out on me if you're mad at Ally? Because I figured by ruining your career, I'll ruin her career.
It's the perfect way to get my revenge.
Wait, wouldn't it be easier to get revenge on Ally directly? That's a great idea.
- Dez! - I'm just saying cut out the middle man.
Besides, it's not like I told her how to get revenge, Like using your stage fright against you or something.
Dez! That's exactly what I'm going to do.
We're gonna have a little show here at the mall.
And reverse what happened in kindergarten, You're gonna sing your butterfly song.
And look stupid because of your stage fright.
And I'm gonna sing "the ladybug song" And everybody's going to love me.
Uh, what if I don't sing the butterfly song? Then I'm going to keep posting bad stuff about Austin.
And make sure he never plays another gig again.
Ladies and gentlemen, singing "the butterfly song," Ally Dawson! I'm a little butterfly I can't do this.
They're staring at me.
They're stuffed animals.
They don't blink.
Well, that one laughed at me.
It's Larry the laughing lizard.
That's what he does.
I just don't get it.
You didn't have stage fright in kindergarten.
- What happened since then? - I don't wanna talk about it.
I mean, now you can't even sing in front of a bunch of sweet, Little fuzzy animals with their cute little eyes.
And can I keep this one? Look, Austin, I promise if I ever want to talk.
About my stage fright, you'll be the one I go to.
It's really sweet that you care.
Now give me back Dougie the dolphin.
You know you don't have to go onstage and embarrass yourself like this.
Yes, I do.
If I don't, tilly's gonna destroy your career.
I'd rather face my biggest fear than have that happen.
Thanks, Ally.
That means a lot.
You're gonna sing as beautiful as the sunset out there.
Don't touch my dolphin.
I can't believe tilly's forcing Ally.
To sing onstage and we're not there to see it.
Well, you're a good friend for wanting to support her.
No.
She could have a meltdown.
And yak on someone in the front row.
I don't wanna miss that.
But yeah, also the support thing.
We could ask for the night off.
That's not how I do things.
We need to get fired.
In that case, there is something that I have been dying to do.
I can't believe it! You deep-fried the entire restaurant! You're fired! Thanks, everybody, for coming out.
You're about to hear two songs One great one and one terrible one.
I'm not gonna say which is which.
Here to sing the terrible song Ally Dawson.
You can do this.
I have total faith in you.
Those of you in the front row.
Might wanna take a few steps back.
Oh! Oh, Mike's not working.
Testing testing, check one, two.
It's working fine.
- thank you, Dez.
- You're welcome.
Uh, um, um, uh, Um um um um.
- Um - Hi, I'm Austin moon.
And I'm here to sing a song for you.
- What are you doing? - I don't care if tilly destroys my career.
I'd rather that happen than let you suffer.
- Seriously? - Yeah.
Thank you, Austin.
That is the nicest thing that anyone has ever done.
Aww.
Gotta go, bye.
This isn't part of the deal.
If Ally doesn't sing her stupid song, Then I'm gonna keep posting fake stuff about you on my h8ter girl website.
Whoa, you heard her, folks.
That's h8ter girl and she faked the stuff about me on her website.
Boo! I hate it when I admit things.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it! Yeah yeah, you hate things.
Join the club.
Let's go, wackadoodle.
Now I'm gonna sing the best song ever written by a five-year-old.
"the ladybug song"? "the butterfly song.
" no! This song was written by my partner Ally.
It's special to her because it made her realize.
She wanted to be a songwriter.
And that makes her special to me too.
I'm a little butterfly spread my colorful wings even though I'm small and frail I can do most anything caterpillar in my cocoon.
I'm gonna be a butterfly soon I'm a little butterfly.
I can soar through the sky so glad I ended up like this thanks to metamorphosis.
I'm a butterfly.
I'm a butterfly yeah, I'm a butterfly.
Austin, that was really sweet, What you did yesterday.
I want you to have this.
Dougie! Oh.
- You like stuffed animals? - Pfft.
No.
I'll pick him up later.
What are you guys watching? H8ter girl's meltdown.
This is all over the Internet.
Tilly was so embarrassed, She shut down her h8ter girl website.
I guess we won't have to be worrying about her anymore.
Ooh cute little baby Miss me?