Awkward s01e05 Episode Script

Previously on Awkward I'm not gonna hook up with Matty again until we DTR.
- What are you talking about? - Define the relationship.
Thanks again for ditching out of the party with me.
It was the best part of the night.
Jenna, I like you.
I'm just not sure I'm ready to be in a relationship.
In high school, perception's everything.
And being dropped off by a parent is like owning a rolling backpack or kissing your grandparent on the mouth.
Unsavory.
In an environment where everyone was playing the role of judge and jury, the only way to survive was to assert some kind of independence.
All right, all right, all right.
I'm getting out.
You need to blend, and then change that shirt.
People are gonna think that we can't afford nice things.
Here.
And it's backless, so you don't even have to wear a bra.
Nice.
That'll be interesting in gym when I have to run the mile.
Jenna, it would not kill you to take a risk.
Be bold once in a while.
My mother's perception of being bold was free-boobin'.
I'd had enough.
If you're not into the shirt, at least take these so you look hip.
They're fake.
And they'll help you hide your big unibrow.
I wanted an excuse to walk in together.
But what I really needed was an excuse to talk.
Matty said he wasn't ready to be in a relationship with anyone.
But maybe he just didn't want to be in a relationship with me.
And why would he? I was the suicide girl.
So the front said "Jenna lives," and the back said "in tribute.
" That's clearly about me, right? As clear as the cold sore on vera Herbert's face.
I'd say it's oozingly obvi.
I mean, crap to the **** pile, I saw a girl get out of Matty's truck.
I mean, I think he's hooking up with someone else.
You're like a daytime talk show.
Except nobody's pregnant yet.
All this happened before the bell even rang.
What did I do to deserve all this effed-up karma? Okay, act totally normal and don't look now, but up on the right, she's the one in the bleachers.
- The whore! - Yes, but don't stare! - Not looking.
- No idea who she is.
- Ah, cramp.
- Me either.
I think she's a junior.
And she kinda looks like you.
Yeah, but prettier.
And cooler.
With bigger boobs.
She's Jenna plus.
No way.
She's Jenna minus! You don't taste like ashtray, and you put out.
She probably puts out too.
But she's older, so the sex is super dirty.
What? I don't mean hot dirty, I mean gross dirty.
You know, like amateur porn.
There's that guy with the shirt.
No wonder Matty wants to keep his options open.
It's hard to be seen as girlfriend material with a lurker around.
Your suicide stigma is like the herps.
Just when you think it's gone, it comes back.
So he gave someone a ride in his truck.
What's the big deal? You're getting all worked up over a jaggoff.
The girl's just some Chick.
You're right, I'm probably just overreacting.
It's a friendly hug.
Like this.
See, totes friendly.
There's nothing going on with this.
Nothing below the neck.
Platonic.
Hey.
Yeah! You wish, cretin! It's not a friendly hug, is it? Surrender your pain to the sugar.
I'm fine.
It's not like he's cheating on me.
We're not together.
He can get HPV from whoever he wants.
See you later.
I couldn't control Jenna plus from spreading her disease, but I could stop Kyle from spreading his.
You have to take that shirt off.
No.
Yes.
You're glorifying the suicide I didn't even commit.
- "Jenna lives" is my band.
- Really? You have a band? What kind of music do you play? - It's not your style.
- Oh, and you know this because you're clearly obsessed with me, so go change your shirt! I don't even know you.
Plus, I know, like, a hundred Jennas.
It says "in tribute.
" It's a tribute band.
Maybe it was all in my head.
I wanted to believe him.
But everywhere I went He was there! Would you stop following me! You're in the boys' bathroom.
Hey.
I have a stalker.
It's this guy named Kyle, and he's following me around making light of a very sensitive situation with a very insensitive T-shirt.
I need you to make him stop.
I mean, isn't that, like, a rights infringement or something? Are you sure you aren't being - a little bit paranoid? - No! I see him everywhere.
I mean, the shirt is pretty blatant.
Maybe Kyle designed that shirt as a fan.
You know, maybe he wants to be your dawg.
My what? I know a little girl with a name that rhymes with Dalerie, and she didn't have any friends growing up.
And it was very painful.
Okay, are you suggesting that this is his way of trying to be my friend? It's certainly possible.
Really? 'Cause to me it just seems like he'd rather cut off a piece of my hair and wear it in a locket around his neck.
I think the worst thing you can do right now is go to a crazy place.
Okay, I'm tired of being seen as the girl who tried to kill herself.
I didn't.
Kyle's shirt only reminds people that I'm still that girl.
And then they don't want to be seen with me, and then they don't want to date me.
And his stupid T-shirt is keeping me from moving on, not to mention, it is in really bad taste.
Oh, sweetie I thought it was a fan shirt.
You know what, I'll take it off.
I'll take it off.
I don't need it.
I don't care.
I'll just take it off.
Never happened.
Okay Where were we? Oh, I don't know.
Thanks for saving me some tots, Kel.
What would I do without you? McKibbs, nice hat trick yesterday, man.
Oh, thanks, dude.
Oh, hey.
I didn't see you there.
I'm so hungry.
- You hungry? - Starved.
I could eat, like, four sandwiches or something.
Maybe some soup.
Mmm.
Well, I think they have chicken tortilla.
So listen, I know we never talked about it, but you know I didn't try to kill myself, right? Misunderstanding.
Okay.
UhJell-o? Mmm.
Hello.
Uh Your mouth is saying okay, but your eyes are saying, "save me from this lunatic.
" Which I totally understand because I'm rambling and sounding like a whack job.
But just so you know, I was having a bad day, and I slipped-- I had an accident.
Normal people have accidents.
And that's exactly what I had because I'm perfectly normal.
Oh, what was I saying? You're-- you're totally normal.
- Yes.
- I got it.
- I'll see ya.
- Okay.
Matty ditched me to bring that chick a sandwich? I fooled around with the guy at least eight times, and he never bought me a sandwich.
He just bought her a sandwich.
We have to follow them.
Who? Your face is all red, and you have crazy eyes.
Did you feed the rabid squirrels in the quad? Listen, those shirts are spreading, and I know Matty's seen them.
Did you see those people wearing them? I just need to find out if they're together.
You're going to a dark place, J.
Stay with us.
I just need concrete proof that they're dating.
I knew it.
You're totally cashing in on my faux suicide attempt.
That is illegal.
I could have you arrested! You're stalking me.
Admit it.
I saw you at least five times last period.
I'm an office aid.
Mm.
Yeah? Take the damn shirt off--now.
You are ruining my life.
Those are mine.
- Take it off.
- No.
Take it off.
- No.
- Fine.
I will.
Just stop it, okay? People are getting the wrong idea.
They think I'm crazy, okay? Just stop it! Stop stalking me, stop with these stupid T-shirts! Just stop it! Just stop it! Just stop it! - Stop it! - You're crazy.
Does this really warrant detention? If you were 18, it could warrant some time in the slammer.
Sorry I couldn't give you special treatment.
I mean, I could have, but there were so many witnesses.
I see some new faces Mixed in with the old.
To the rookies-- we're on the honor system here.
Now, I'll be back to check on you, but you won't know when.
So you best be on your best.
Like busy little worker bees-- zzz-- you will be working on your homework honey pot, and I will be in my office attending to my piles and piles of work.
Sometimes it feels like I have detention too.
We have exactly two hours.
Starting now.
Two hours for, uh, for what? Valerie's nap.
We're heading to Giuseppe's.
Guess Jenna plus was a regular in detention.
And the leader among the rebel herd.
Maybe Matty thought being bad was good.
Come on, newbie.
From the small bird tattoo on her ankle to the simple carmex she wore instead of lip gloss, everything about Jenna plus was cool.
Bitch.
So what are you in detention for, wonder boy? I was caught holding the hose at the bonfire.
- Kinky.
- Yeah.
And your crime, Hamilton? Oh, just a little Misunderstanding.
At lunch.
What are you in for? I'm a detention rewards card member.
Today I blew off history 'cause I was on the phone having a meltdown with this guy.
Was she talking about Matty, or was I having a paranoia stroke? Speak of the devil.
What? No! What does that even mean? Can I bum a smoke? Sure.
I wondered if Matty liked smokers.
And if so, could I fake a pro? Okay, then why don't you take your sweet ass time to think about it and call me back? Everything okay? Yeah.
It's just my ex.
We've been on a break, and we're in the process of maybe getting back together.
Did that mean I was Matty's rebound? Breaks are hard.
Someone always hooks up with another person, maybe even falls for them.
Think he's into someone else? I thought so.
But now I'm not so sure.
When we're together, it's It's amazing.
It's like The world falls away Then the next day, he's indifferent, he doesn't call me.
He doesn't even want to be seen with me.
So started to wonder if maybe I'm imagining all the good stuff.
Jenna plus and I might have been from different planets, but her Matty heartbreak was the same.
There it was.
The answer I was chasing.
I couldn't live in the safety of denial anymore.
She was with Matty.
He was with her.
And I was with cancer.
I'm gonna let him sweat it for a little while.
Thanks for listening.
Are you okay? Whatever the misunderstanding was today, it'll blow over.
Nothing's ever as bad as it seems.
Here.
Take my last smoke.
I'm gonna grab another pack.
As much as I wanted to hate on Jenna plus, I couldn't.
The bitch was decent.
Maybe even sweet.
And it made me really want to kill myself.
I didn't know you were a smoker.
I'm not.
Well, I hear lung cancer does make your ass look huge.
Well, I'm having a crappy day.
Everyone thinks I tried to kill myself, and there's a lame guy selling T-shirts keeping the stupid story alive.
I don't think you tried to kill yourself.
- Really? - No.
You're not the type.
Well, unless you keep smoking.
And there's a guy Oh.
Mysterious.
I really like him, but he has a girlfriend.
Who is it? I can't say.
Oh.
So I'd know him.
No comment.
Aw, come on.
Does this guy even know that you like him? I'd say it's pretty clear.
I mean He's funny and he's cool, and everybody likes him, which is part of the problem.
But I feel like I see who he really is, and he gets me.
Yeah.
But we're not on the same level, and he can never be with a freak like me, so It's kinda hopeless.
Maybe you're misjudging the situation, and this guy really does like you Just the way you are.
Naptime's almost over.
Good day today! I snuck by earlier and checked on your progress, and you were all busy working away.
As always, I appreciate your respect of the honor system.
You make my job a pleasure.
You're all dismissed.
Hey, mom, it's me.
UhWhen your tan is dry, come pick me up.
Jenna.
I, um I just wanted to say I, uh Okay.
You know that guy that we were talking about? Yes.
Um, I just want to throw in my two cents and say that I'm sure you're on his radar.
I mean, he'd be lucky-- well, I--I mean, anyone would be lucky to be with you.
Well, thank you for the pity party.
But I think I'll live.
The T-shirts say so.
No, um, seriously.
I'll bet you anything if this guy didn't have a girlfriend that he'd be all over you.
- Would he now? - Yeah.
He would.
It was nice to hear.
If Jake could see me in a positive light, maybe other people could too.
Thank you.
Don't stop on account of me.
She's acting out.
We gave her too much rope.
She's never had detention before.
There have to be consequences.
Isn't detention a consequence? She needs parental punishing too.
But nothing too harsh.
What do you think? Should we send her to bed without dessert? So that she wakes up skinnier? No, that's not a punishment, that's a reward.
We can't let her think we're taking this lightly.
How do we do this? We start by presenting a unified front.
Your behavior at school today was unacceptable.
Getting physical with someone is never the answer.
We're disappointed in you.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to flip out.
I was just trying to stand up for myself.
I mean, mom told me to take more risks.
You told her to take more risks? In the context of what she was wearing.
What does that even mean? I told her to wear a shirt without a bra.
Why would you tell her that? Our daughter is 15! She doesn't need to skip the bra! It was a backless shirt! Do you guys want me to come back in ten minutes? Everything that once was simple was now complicated.
Matty's best friend had kissed me.
And Matty didn't want me to be his girlfriend.
'Cause he already had one.
And no matter how much I wanted her to disappear, she wouldn't.
She was real and she had a name.
Olivia.
As expected, it was prettier than mine.
So how was juvie? Nothing like I thought it would be.
That's pretty much the theme of the day.
Brace yourself, J.
I CSI'd your barnacle.
Check out his page.
You're not the object of his affection.
See, his hand is on miss Burndahl's knee.
Um, hurl.
He is an office aid.
I am such a jerk.
Kyle's not a stalker, Jenna plus is nice.
What'next? So you attacked an innocent office aid.
We're all spun out on the crazy car.
It happens to the best of us.
I mean, I shame-spiral, like, weekly.
No bigs.
Call me if you want to ugly-cry.
Turns out I had been smoking the emotional crack pipe and I needed to take a drastic I had already acknowledged I had a problem.
So I decided to skip the middle steps and go straight to number nine-- making amends.
I'm not wearing the shirt! I know! I'm sorry! Listen, I made a huge mistake calling you out in front of everyone.
You're surprisingly strong.
I feel really bad about all of this, and I'd like to make it up to you.
Can I buy a shirt to support your band? You can just have it.
No, let me pay for it, I insist.
This whole thing is just ridiculous.
I mean, I just kept seeing you everywhere.
And I thought you were a creeper.
Turns out, I am.
Okay.
We cool? Yeah.
You should hear my band play sometime.
We kill it.
Yeah, I'd love to.
Come sit with me! Cool specs.
They're not real or anything.
I like to wear them so that people take me seriously.
Funny, even Jenna plus was concerned with how people perceived her.
I didn't know you two knew each other.
Busted.
We're detention buddies.
I need ranch.
You don't seem like the type that would be in detention.
Maybe you don't know what type I am.
So, um How do you guys know each other? Who, Liv? She's kinda my girlfriend.
In-law.
She and my brother have been off and on for a while.
I don't really know what's going on.
Weird.
So you two kinda look alike.
Yeah.
Nah, she's way prettier than me.
It was our first lunch together.
And I realized it wasn't my stigma or another girl keeping me from Matty.
It was how I saw myself.
Next on Awkward.
You know this is a charity league.
Not a charity, right? We are gonna rock the knick knackers.
We are! You have to be cruel to be kind.
Sadie wrote the letter! Do you think Matty knows Jake kissed me? No way.
Guys don't talk.
- I kissed Jenna Hamilton.
- What?