Barely Famous (2015) s01e05 Episode Script

1 [producer's voice.]
five: Intro interview take one.
[slate marker closing.]
[producer's voice.]
Will you try to break your family down for us? And then go ahead and do that.
- Yeah.
- [producer's voice.]
That'd be great.
Both of our parents have been married four, five times each.
We've had a lot of step-siblings.
We sort of like get a new family every couple of years, it's really fun.
It's like Christmas.
Really yeah.
It's like Christmas with new with people.
Yeah.
So, we've got - Amanda.
- Jessica.
- Gwen.
- Alissa.
- Gwyneth.
- Oh! Gwen and Gwyneth! That was always very confusing.
That was crazy.
- Ashley.
- Robert.
- Kristen.
- Jordan.
- Jason.
- Kobe.
- Dennis.
- Lamar.
- Allison.
- Magic.
- Okay, now you're just naming Lakers.
- [laughing.]
[crew laughing.]
Whoa, why are you like cutting me off Red? Oh, I know 'cause you're 107.
[phone rings.]
It's Barbara.
[speaker phone.]
Hello, it's Barbara from your dad's office.
Barbara! Hi, Barbara.
Okay, so listen, your dad reached out and apparently Genevieve and Hannah are in town.
[mouthing silently.]
Genevieve [speaker phone.]
He'd really appreciate it, if you guys would meet them for lunch.
No problem.
First question, who's Genevieve and Hannah? [speaker phone.]
I'm talking about your step-sisters Genevieve and Hannah.
Oohhh!! Oohhh!! Genevieve and Hannah! Well, they're not really our step-sisters.
Our dad was married for maybe Nine months? Something like that? I'm still trying to keep track of Erin.
Let alone the randoms from you know my dad's one night stand.
Why look at the past when you can just move forward in the direction you're going.
Can you ask him that? [speaker phone.]
Yeah, how's Wednesday at noon? Yeah that works.
[sighs.]
Uh, Sara? What? Hey! So nice to see you! It's been so long! How are you? The one thing we can definitely count on with our dad is that he's always going to marry a beautiful woman.
You know, he picks the hotties.
And the bummer about him marrying beautiful women is that that beautiful woman usually has really beautiful children.
Yeah, we don't need this kind of competition.
It's so bleep annoying.
[slight foreign accent.]
Is that your appetizer? Or ? Nope.
It's my full meal.
And I'm sure you guys know, it's like fightin' the bulge every day.
I feel like I have to eat more because it's really hard to like, look curvy, you know? It's so hard to get those curves.
Sorry.
I feel like there's sort of an elephant in the room.
Why are you speaking with an accent? I didn't even know I had an accent.
Oh my God.
It must be from like, all the traveling.
Traveling.
I feel like sometimes when I'm in Silver Lake all the time, I start like, speaking like a Hipster, you know what I mean? Is that what you mean? Like that? Ha.
I mean sort of.
You guys travel a lot? Yeah, I mean Maldives one day, Bora Bora the next, you know.
We just went to Europe for the latest swimsuit issue.
You're modeling? Yeah, lingerie and swimsuits.
Like catalogs or? Mostly campaigns and stuff like that really appeals to my followers.
What, you're like, like a-cult? What are you talking about? [laughing.]
You know like Twitter! Wait, do you guys have a Twitter? Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh my gosh, I need to follow you.
Oh yeah, follow us.
So how many followers do you have? I love to ask that.
I'm almost at a million.
I'm super excited about it- [softly.]
That's a lot.
I mean I've got the coolest idea, I'm gonna be like, 'I'm at a million followers! Thank you, love you all!' Oh my gosh, that is so clever.
Yeah.
So what do you do? What's your like, what's your Twitter vibe? You just kind of like take a picture of yourself and hashtag something sweet like grateful or blessed.
Okay, so what what is hashtagging? Yeah, great question.
You know, it's that like cute little like tic-tac-toe thing.
The pound.
That's it.
Yeah, it comes with your phone.
Maybe they invented it before they invented Twitter? I-maybe? Yeah.
I don't know.
The hashtag.
Okay, so you would say to so many followers that the key is really the blessed hashtag, that I should hashtag positive things.
Yes! Definitely.
Yeah and the places.
The places you go is really important.
Twitter is everything these days.
Twitter is everything! It's like everything.
I can't stand how the system works now.
Now you can have like, you know, some butt implants and have a little Instagram account and bam! You're famous.
It's just not fair.
Don't you guys get such a secure vibe from her? [producer's voice.]
Why don't you have Hannah and Genevieve just tag you in something? That's no.
That's so not no, I don't need to do that.
My point is I haven't felt the need to be one of those girls to be like [mocking.]
'Urg, look at my boobs, look at my butt.
' And I've always been above it.
I'm still above it, but I'm gonna start doing it more.
Mm.
[mocking.]
Oh, I'm Genevieve and I'm so famous 'cause I kiss ass on Twitter.
Okay.
Blessed I can do that.
All right.
So [laughs.]
hashtag wait where is the hashtag? Okay, how do you do this? Hashtag blessed, Malibu, grateful, hashtag SoHappyToBeAlive Boom.
That felt good.
I feel so young! [phone vibrates.]
Ooh.
[phone vibrates.]
Oh my God, this is working! Abbey, where are you? I'm getting like 500 re-tweets! [phone vibrates.]
Abbey? Oh my God! What did you do, Sara? Why have you not had me tweeting earlier? Did you watch the news today? What? No, I don't watch the news, it's so depressing.
Earlier today a bus full of kids on their way to surf camp drove off a cliff.
In Malibu.
That's awful.
Why is that my problem? There were no survivors.
Your tweet makes it sound like you're happy about the accident.
No it doesn't.
Uuhh.
.
mm-kay.
You just tweeted, 'Amazingly perfect day in Malibu, ' hashtag blah blah blah Because it was! Happy to be alive! Oh my God, Sara? Ugh.
I'm gonna have stress poops.
It was a great day! We went to Tony's.
Okay, but you probably should have just said, 'Went to Tony's! Hashtag 'Yum' or something.
Let me see.
[phone vibrates.]
Let me see.
Okay.
They are really mean.
Yeah.
Are you okay? Yeah, Abbey stop.
'You're an insensitive bitch.
' That's not Nice.
True.
You insensitive bleep [silently.]
Wow.
You insensitive bitch bleep How can you say these things on social media? [phone vibrates.]
I mean, you can say whatever you want it's like, free country.
Okay, delete all of the awful things they're saying about me.
Go on all of the I can't delete that, you can't delete other people's tweets.
Of course you can delete it.
The garbage can is the delete.
Yeah, not in Twitter world.
Um, these are going to be there forever.
[phone vibrates.]
What are you doing and why are you ignoring me? No, I'm sorry I'm just I've been on Instagram for like an hour.
It's like Mo's killing it.
He's got like a stand-up special, he's hosting a show, he's got like a million things going on and it just kills me because you know, when we were together he had [whispers.]
nothing.
Mo Mandel and I dated a couple of years ago.
I was Mo's starter girlfriend, when I was dating Mo, he slept on an air mattress.
Do you know how uncomfortable it is to sleep on an air mattress? Do you? No.
While you're having sex, you're constantly just waiting for the air in the mattress to run out.
And then you hit floor and you go, 'It's out.
' And then you blow it up again.
It's just like, 'vvvvvvvvvv, ' the whole time I'm just looking at him going, 'I wish you did better, ' 'vvvvvvvvvvvv, ' 'This is my life, really?' 'vvvvvvvvv'.
Okay, I love you, but it's killing you because he's blowing up and I gotta be honest it makes you look like a gold digger and you're not a gold digger.
You like-you love guys without money.
It's just that he was, you know, not in a good place when we were together, now he's like doing very well and clearly happy.
It's re-igniting these like feelings that I've had for him so- Yeah.
I actually don't judge.
Mm-hm.
I really, I really don't judge you at all.
He's gonna be performing at The Improv tomorrow night.
I'm gonna go, you know and like, I feel like once we stand in front of each other.
Oh, he'll be like, 'Oh, you look so amazing, ' Yeah, the chemistry will be there.
'Come on the road with me.
' Yes! Oh wait, practice.
Practice like running into him.
Okay.
So it's like this, it's like: Wait.
Wait.
Mo?? Erin? Oh my God, what are you doing here? I don't know but you look great? I do? Oh my God, I'm like, what? What are you doing here? Uh, what are you doing here? I'm performing here.
You're performing here?? Wait, Mo, that's so exciting.
Yeah.
I'm so proud of you.
I don't [quietly.]
I don't believe you at all.
No, no.
Okay.
You're being it feels like it's so.
What-do you believe me now? Yes.
That works.
Okay.
That's all I'm gonna do.
Yeah.
Thanks.
[high five clap.]
I think we're done here.
Cheers.
[speaker phone.]
Are you high? You understand you're supposed to be famous first and then have a scandal? Not the other way around? Okay, I'm sorry, this is getting so beyond out of hand.
I don't even understand- Your Twitter thing? Yes, my Twitter thing.
You need to say sorry.
O-I'm sorry! Okay, well maybe don't say sorry to me, just say sorry to them, on Twitter.
In this town, everybody likes to jump on bandwagons.
You know one person says like, 'Oh, did you see what Sara Foster tweeted?' and everybody jumps on board.
It's like get a job.
Get a job, get a hobby, get off my ass, get off my bleep Leave me alone.
Um, hold on one second.
[whispering.]
Remember how you said you were going to take responsibility for it? Okay, let me try it one more time.
[slate marker closing.]
It wasn't a big deal.
Okay, will you guys just let me answer for her? You're doing really good, just let me answer.
Sara was a little confused, she wrote something that she did not mean.
She had no idea the accident happened, she's horrified.
Say that you agree.
All the proceeds from this conversa Sara just say that you agree! Just say you agree!! Tion will go to the Red Cross.
It's not going to the Red Cross, Sara.
Just say you agree with what I said.
UNICEF.
The things people are saying to me.
[quietly.]
Ow.
It says I'm worse than Hitler.
Well Okay, so I'm just going to call my publicist.
You could pay me to tell you this, but I think she's gonna say, 'Stop tweeting.
' [exhales.]
Erin.
Sorry.
I can't.
Okay, sorry.
Uh, hello? [speaker phone.]
Yeah.
Hey, girl.
[speaker phone.]
Are you high? Tell her you're not high.
[speaker phone.]
What were you thinking? You understand you're supposed to be famous first and then have a scandal.
Not the other way around.
She's not wrong.
Isn't all press good press? Let's turn these lemons into lemonade.
[speaker phone.]
What? [high five clap.]
[speaker phone.]
Okay.
I'm trying to take a deep breath.
Do you-do you have the authority to remove things off Google? [speaker phone.]
What are you talking about? The only thing I can think of right now, I'm gonna pull in a favor, do you know Amanda De Cadenet.
Of course.
[speaker phone.]
I'm gonna see if she will do me a solid and interview you on air.
Erin, don't let her do anything! Not even text! I'll make Amanda De Cadenet happen.
Stay off Twitter! Gotta go, Kate Hudson's calling.
Bye! I feel like that was all positive.
Amanda De Cadenet is the go to girl for celebrities right now and I felt that that was the right person to go to.
To you know, get my exposure and also apologize.
Everbody wins.
Everbody wins.
Not the kids, but everybody else.
Sara, I'm pleased that this worked out today I always like the opportunity for someone to set their story straight, and especially when I heard what has happened.
I know.
It's so horrible.
I think we should get started.
Let's do it.
Let's do it.
All right, so for our listeners at home, this is The Conversation podcast we are here today with former actress, Sara Foster, who is at the middle of a huge controversy after tweeting hashtag Malibu Best Day Ever, hashtag HappyToBeAlive hashtag Blessed.
This, moments after the horrendous Malibu bus crash which killed all of the children on board.
Sara, would you like to let us know what was going through your mind when you posted that? Well I'm really the victim of bad timing here.
It is- I'm- Excuse me, you 're the victim? Yes, there are other victims for sure I'm just saying I'm the victim of bad timing.
Because I was having a good day, separately that bus, you know, went off the mountain R.
I.
P.
Just terrible.
Well, I'm sure you have a lot of animosity coming towards you right now from specifically women and mothers on Twitter who are really up in arms.
I mean you're a mother, and you have a daughter.
Well, I'm an actress first and foremost.
All I'm, all I'm meaning to articulate here is that, that wasn't my fault.
I didn't you know, drive them off the bus, drive them off the cliff.
Okay, um.
You Look, someone really needs to give you some kind of media training or something.
I've been told that before, yeah.
Mo? Surprise! Hey.
When I broke up with Mo, he was devastated.
I think the timing was just always off for Mo and I and now the timing feels right.
I'm excited to watch, I'm also excited for you to move out.
Whoa.
Oh my God, it's so good to see you.
Erin.
Yeah.
This is crazy.
[applause.]
Aaahhhh!!! Erin's sister is hot as bleep Though, I'll tell you that.
Mo? Erin.
Yeah.
How are you? Hey! Oh my God.
It's so good to see you.
Crazy.
When did you get back in town? No, I've always lived here.
Yeah.
I didn't even go anywhere.
So wait, I literally have not seen you in like five years.
Yeah, no I think two years it's been.
I think that Seth MacFarlane party? I think I saw you there.
Huh.
You said, 'Hi' I think.
I don't know.
Sounds like something I would say.
Yeah.
I love your hair though.
I am blonder, thank you for noticing.
Yeah, you look like your sister, it's cool.
Oh.
Well, I mean I was blonde before she was so.
'Cause you're older? No, I'm her younger sister.
So you're in town? What was it? You were like living on Ben's couch the last time we hung out.
You know what's so funny? I used to sleep on his couch and like after everything that's happened, he's in my boathouse.
Come on.
No, it's so weird.
You have a boathouse? It's so weird, I don't even have a boat, well I mean I have they're called "watercrafts.
" Look at you.
Do I look too skinny? I feel like I've lost so much weight.
No.
You sure? Definitely not.
No.
You look, like buff.
All right.
We get older, we get skinnier.
Anyway, it's been so good.
Bahh!! Okay, so like you have the same number? I gotta pop up there-yeah, no.
Well, no I don't but um- [knock on door.]
We good? All right.
I gotta hit the stage.
Well, we should hang out.
Let's get um, I don't know- No, totally.
Coffee, drink or whatever, like, dinner.
Like my Facebook page.
Mm-hm.
Then, you can write me messages.
It's awesome that you came by though, thank you so much.
No, it was great seeing you.
[hitting door.]
This door's weird.
[hits door.]
Is there another exit out of here? Thank you.
[crowd cheering.]
It is good to be back! Lost a lot of weight! Lost a lot of skin.
[applause.]
I lost 115 pounds, her name was Erin and she's actually- [laughter.]
she's actually 140, but she would never, well 50, she would never admit it to herself.
Whatever dude.
It's-girls, man.
I don't even, you know, okay.
Is this too personal? Erin, she farted in her sleep one time and woke herself up.
[laughter.]
Woke herself up, just-wwaahhhh!! What was that?? Uh, I think it was the sound of me loving you less.
[applause, laughter.]
Mandel.
You don't gotta be great in bed, but like literally with Erin, I was checking a bleep pulse.
You know what I mean? It wasn't even 69, it was 60, 9-1-1, 'Are you dead, bitch? Are you dead? Are you dead, bitch?' [laughter.]
Mandel.
Yeah man, it was crazy man.
Erin's sister is hot as bleep Though, I'll tell you that.
Erin sister's so hot, I'm talking just like, biggity bam! You know, it's just like biggity, bam! You got that ass and it's right here, bam!! You know what I'm saying, Mandel! [applause.]
If I think of my life as like what does the book look like? You have so much struggle.
And you just get kicked and kicked and kicked and kicked and then all of the sudden a prince comes along and then you know.
Bleep you, Mo.
Can I take a break? You guys, thank you so much for meeting me.
Have I told you how much I love you? Last time we saw each other, it was like this bad day for me and I unfortunately got myself in a little predicament.
I took your guys' guidance with the tweeting, I took it a little too far and because you have millions of people that follow you, I would love for those followers to now know that I am a nice person.
Does this make sense? Uhh I'm gonna need you to post something.
What do you what do you mean post something? We already posted today.
Yeah, like, I mean What do you mean you already posted today? It kinda doesn't work that way.
All right Like it's gotta be organic, you know? All right, great.
Okay, that's cute, I totally respect that, but um, get out your phones? Okay, we're going to be doing a lot of hashtags- Okay, but if I'm gonna do this- Yeah, what do you want? Implants? Nose job? Car? What do you want? I'll lend you the money.
What about like quality time together? You know [silently.]
That's sweet.
Maybe it'd be nice if we spent just like girl time? All you want to do is spend quality time with me? That's all you want? Yeah.
Yeah, totally.
That would be amazing.
I would love that.
And like go see a movie.
Go to the beach.
[quietly.]
Girl time.
Okay.
That, I can do.
Do they know how to just walk without bouncing or is it just always a bounce? I woke up in a great mood today And now you've And now I want to die.
Rock bottom.
Like, what is that skin? Like kill me now, like get sunburned already.
Oh yeah, wow.
Very risqué.
Love the stars! On the plus side, my social media game is bangin'.
In the last like five hours, I've gotten thousands of followers.
Well, that's pretty cool they did that for you.
They want to see ass, tits, celebs, lips, it's sick.
And I love it.
Yeah, I do too.
Game on.
Okay.
Oh my God, you're stretching? It's four in the afternoon! They're sweet.
They're whores but they're sweet.
True.
Hashtag blessed You guys want to try one where Sara's wearing the banana suit and I'm in the bikini? [laughing.]
We're going out today.
I think we're gonna, 'have the talk.
' - Jensen.
- Yeah.
I want to put it out there that this is like a real thing.
Erin Foster's your sister.
Is she still dating ladies? When great opportunities present themselves, you have to just like grab them by the horns.
You were the happiest when you were a lesbian!