Central Park (2020) s01e05 Episode Script

1
[BITSY] Okay, good.
I'll wire the money. Bye.
- [HANDSET CLICKS]
- It's all arranged. He's coming,
and he will wreak havoc on that park
beyond what anyone can imagine.
Of course, I can imagine
it, because I hired him.
- Do you know what they call him?
- What's that?
[BITSY] The one-man tag team. [CHUCKLES]
- [HELEN] I don't get it.
- [BITSY] Graffiti? Tag?
[HELEN] Oh. Ha.
Oh! You don't know slang?
Yep. How'd you hire him without
getting your hands dirty?
How does anyone hire anyone these days?
Cutouts, blind drops, a few careful
money exchanges on the dark web,
throw in a gift certificate,
and the best part is,
thanks to my relationship
with the owner of The Dispatch,
they've promised to run huge headlines
about this out-of-control
graffiti story.
New Yorkers will be outraged,
and I'll step in to clean up the mess.
[CHUCKLES] They're going
to call it a plague.
- You like that? That was me.
- [HELEN] Eh, I mean, it works.
[SPRAYING]
It's time for bed. White noise, please.
[HELEN HISSES]
Eh, too white. Ocean, please.
[IMITATES OCEAN SOUNDS]
A graffiti plague in the park, what?
Bitsy's being a real Buttsy.
You're asking: Why don't I just tell
Owen and Paige what Bitsy's up to?
Well, I can't, [WHISPERS]
because it's forbidden.
You see, there's rules
to being a narrator
But the most important is that one.
It's kind of the
grandmama of all the rules.
You can't tell someone in the story
anything about where the story's going.
[WHISPERS] Even if you
know some juicy stuff.
There's so much I want to say
but I can't interfere ♪
And, boy, the plot's about
to get good or will it? ♪
In just a few the story
will shift into gear ♪
I can't say how but wow,
if I could, I'd spill it ♪
Still, it's a secret
and I should keep it ♪
So I won't spoil it
but I can bleep it ♪
Spoiler alert ♪
Bleep's gonna bleep and
bleep will start bleeping ♪
Spoiler alert ♪
Bleep and bleep, bleep
and then the plots deepen ♪
Of course there's a
bleep when they bleep ♪
And sorry, I don't mean to blurt ♪
But bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep ♪
Will bleep, bleep,
bleep, bleep and so ♪
Spoiler alert ♪
Whew! I bleeped myself,
so I didn't give anything
away because I bleeped.
So good job, me. [CHUCKLES]
The guy with the paint's
gonna whoops, I can't say ♪
And Owen will soo no,
can't tell ya, but hey ♪
Family's destiny comes into play ♪
Which leads to well,
let me just put it this way ♪
Spoiler alert ♪
La, la, la, la try this,
you won't hear it ♪
Spoiler alert! ♪
It's never mind and
there goes the rhyme scheme ♪
But trust me, it's truly delish
I wish I could dish all the dirt ♪
Too late, anyhow 'cause
the story starts now ♪
And so ♪
Spoiler alert ♪
You're not gonna hear this guy
squawking about no-no
stuff 'cause I need this job.
I have a very limited set of
skills. I don't even know Excel.
I don't want to get replaced
by some other schmuck.
Hi, how are you? Hello.
Whoa.
- I'm tired, okay?
- Oh, yeah, you look tired.
- What?
- But beautiful. Also beautiful. And young.
You try having two kids
and a full-time job.
I do?
I was up all night researching
Mayor Whitebottom.
I know he's dirty. I can
practically taste the dirt.
- There's an image.
- Well, I'm a writer.
Remember the mayor gave Paige
that weird, kind of ominous quote
about the Park League, about
how "We think we can do better"?
Vague. Scary. Excitement.
The mayor completely self-financed
his campaign by unloading real estate.
[BIRDIE SQUEALS]
So, I looked into the public
records of real estate sales
[BIRDIE] Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
and each one was just
under three million dollars.
- Do you know why I think that is?
- Tell us!
Because in New York, any real
estate sale over three million
triggers an automatic money
laundering investigation.
Someone doesn't want the public
to know they're giving the mayor money.
Here it is.
She's about to put it together.
It's gonna get intense.
Okay, so, who is it?
- No clue.
- Oh.
What? Come on! Okay, okay.
So Paige hasn't quite figured out
who owns Mayor Whitney Whitebottom,
but she'll get there.
- [ON RADIO] Owen?
- Go ahead, Elwood.
- Owen, it's Elwood.
- Yeah, no, I know.
- Your employee.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You might wanna come see
the Bethesda Fountain.
We got a graffiti situation.
The fountain?
Big cement tub with water
coming out of it? I think so.
Not the Bethesda. The
taggers know better.
Oh, God. All right, I'll be right there.
A new tag? I'll go with you.
Molly, please, do not be interested
in graffiti. It's a scourge.
[SCOFFS] I have a
passing interest at best.
- Cool.
- Cool.
Cool.
But tagging is not cool.
And this fountain thing seems bad.
- Real bad. So, so bad.
- Hmm.
- Such a heinous crime.
- Uh-huh.
- This is why they have the death penalty.
- All right, too much.
- [KNOCKS]
- Yes?
Mrs. Brandenham called to go
over some of her estate papers.
Really? I wonder why she
didn't tell me you were coming.
I'm Helen. Seen that
name on any documents?
Yes? No? You're not giving me much.
Bitsy, your estate lawyer is
here to do estate stuff, I assume.
And apropos of nothing, not
even sure why it comes to mind,
I fluffed all the pillows
and alphabetized your pills.
Actually, Helen, I'm glad you're here.
And I'm glad to be here.
Let go of me. Why are
you talking that way?
I need you to take
Shampagne for an hour.
And do what with him?
Shampagne's mood hasn't improved.
His therapist is suggesting
a radical new treatment
called outdoor movement therapy.
- So, walks?
- Hmm?
Can't we just hire another dog wa
outdoor movement therapist?
The last time a stranger
took him out of this hotel,
I nearly lost him forever!
By the way, you've
been sending that idiot
a box of bees every day, right?
- Yep, yep.
- Also, the dog therapist sent me a collar.
The collar broadcasts
a signal to my phone
- so I can see where he is at all times.
- Uh-huh.
Problem is, I can't figure out
how to see him on this. Can you?
- Your cell phone.
- Oh! Why didn't he say so?
- [ELWOOD] What does "Sh Art" mean?
- [SIGHS] I can't believe it.
Do they think this is
funny? 'Cause it's not.
- [CHUCKLES] "Shart".
- Timeless.
I know graffiti comes
with the territory,
but certain things are off-limits.
- Agreed. I do like the
- Don't! Don't like anything about it.
You still look like you're
admiring it. Look mad at it.
- Me too?
- Yes. Everybody look mad.
Dad, you keep doing
that nervous tic thing
where you wipe your
hands on your shorts.
I think your shorts are
getting confused and scared.
Sorry, taggers make me anxious. [SIGHS]
I'm gonna have to call Gootch.
- You know someone named Gootch?
- He's my tagger informant.
Keeps me in the loop
on who's spraying what.
[MOLLY] You have a tagger informant?
Yes, Molly. You don't
think I'm cool enough
to have a tagger informant?
Not really, Mr. Wipey Hands.
Well, I am. And no saying
"Mr. Wipey Hands".
Elwood, turn on the thing,
but still look mad.
I'll try, but it's really
fun to use this thing.
I know!
Whee!
I mean Grrrrrr.
Oh, that's kind of a big piece.
Make sure you share.
- [BARKS]
- [GASPS] Shampagne. Oh, my baby.
For all I know, Bitsy is signing
everything over to you right now.
What would you even spend it on,
squeak toys shaped like food?
[SIGHS] Why am I giving you ideas?
- Oh, perfect.
- Oh! Oh, my sweet boy.
I knew I'd see you again. Now
give me some of that sugar.
[MAKES LICKING NOISE]
Wow, that's so nice. Look
at you two. Okay, bye.
You're so lucky you get to walk him.
Lucky? I'm a grown woman carrying
around a tiny bag of poop.
You don't have to brag.
Could I maybe, possibly
just hold the leash
for, like, one second to ten minutes?
Why? Do you wanna take him for a walk?
[GASPS] More than anything.
Wait, really? Huh.
Yeah, screw it. You can
walk him. Just do a full loop.
Oh, you will not regret this.
Or maybe you will, we haven't
really discussed expectations.
Thank you so much.
Oh, I didn't give him any baggies
in case it's a double feature.
Eh, let him barehand it.
Life's hard. Learn it young.
[GROANS] Why do I put
up with any of this?
Helen, will you freshen
up my drink? Okay.
Take Shampagne to
see his doggy shrink ♪
Of course.
Lace my girdle, file
down my skin tags Sure.
And count all my
shoes and my handbags ♪
Helen, will you swallow
all your rage? For now.
Keep it like a monkey
in a cage I love monkeys.
Just ignore Shampagne's
much higher standing ♪
I will.
Adore me, endure me
withstanding my demands ♪
But I've got plans so these
demands are temporary ♪
I grin and bear it knowing
where my future life could lead ♪
I grit my teeth and
find relief repeating ♪
If there's a will there's
a way, there's a way-ay ♪
If there's a will there's
a way, there's a way-ay ♪
If there's a will
there's a willy-nilly way ♪
To be living like I'm top-notch
filthy stinking rich, watch ♪
Just gotta be smart like so
keep playing my part like so ♪
Don't step on my toes nobody
knows what really goes on ♪
In Bitsy's rich-and-famous
lifestyle penthouse in the tower ♪
Gonna have my hour
with the willpower ♪
Maybe I'll manipulate
the lawyer That's good.
Show a little ankle in
the foyer Men love ankles.
Make him give me power
of attorney Or else
He'll leave Bitsy's
house on a gurney ♪
Her Shampagne taste is such a waste ♪
It's time she tasted mine ♪
Let's seal the deal up, club
a seal up show me where to sign ♪
Until that day I lay awake recalling ♪
If there's a will there's
a way, there's a way-ay ♪
If there's a will there's
a way, there's a way-ay ♪
If there's a will
there's a willy-nilly way ♪
Willy-nilly way-ay
willy, willy, willy way ♪
Oh, Helen, is it worth it?
Maybe you should give up this
life of misdeeds and manipulation.
Just kidding.
Willy, willy-nilly, hey ♪
Gonna shake that money
in my monkey bank ♪
Gonna shake it willy,
willy-nilly, hey ♪
Gonna shake that money
in my monkey bank ♪
Gonna shake it ♪
[VOCALIZING]
Shake it willy-nilly
shake it willy-nilly ♪
[VOCALIZING]
Shake it willy-nilly
shake it willy-nilly ♪
If there's a will there's a will ♪
There's a way, way, way, way ♪
Way, way, way, way, way ♪
[INHALES] Way, way ♪
Okay, I'm done.
I guess this could be
worth three million.
[GROANS] Sh Crap!
Huh. This does not look
like three million dollars.
Oh, hate you, lid. I
hate you! I hate you!
Yep, real estate scam.
Definitely a scam.
[SLURPS] Oh, it's cold.
Gootch, hope you haven't
been defacing my park today.
Maybe me and my boys were putting
up some throwies and fill-fills
behind the boathouse bathroom,
maybe we weren't.
Yep, great.
I shouldn't be talking to you.
Everyone thinks I fit the HAT.
- HAT?
- [SIGHS] "Honor among thieves".
You don't know acronyms?
I know acronyms. That was confusing.
Hats are already things. Doesn't matter.
- You got the Goods?
- Bag of Goods, no Plenty's.
Daddy like. Mmm.
I couldn't get a name,
but this shart guy has
everybody pissed off.
Dude's tagging stuff I wouldn't go near.
And he's tagging other people's tags.
Dissing good scribbles
all over the place.
Anybody seen him? Can
you tell me anything?
If he was local, I'd know him.
I wish I could tell you more.
Dude's giving defacing
public property a bad name.
How do you know it's a dude?
Could be a girl, right?
- Girls shart?
- Yeah, girls shart.
But I think it's called a "shoops".
How old are you, Gootch?
- What are you doing over there?
- [WHISPERS] Math homework.
All right, well, let me
know what you find out.
- Good luck with the math.
- Shh! [STAMMERS]
Oh, am I taking off my shoes?
I am taking off my shoes.
Ew, just got something on my stocking.
Putting my shoes back on.
Ah! How long have you been there?
Long enough to be uncomfortable.
But, uh, look, I taught Shampagne
a new trick on our walk.
It's like he's got a little mustache,
if mustaches went on top of your nose.
- Arf.
- Hmm.
All right, enough whimsical stick tricks.
We need to get going.
Are you available, by any chance,
tomorrow? Same time?
What? Are you serious?
Yes! Yes, thank you.
- Thank you, thank you, thank you!
- [GROANING]
Sorry. I'm not used
to whatever that was.
That was a hug.
Oh. I thought you were
attacking me really gently.
Well, to be fair, this is
also how I would attack you.
Paint thinner. Out of paint thinner.
My guys need paint thinner.
I thought I had a emergency
stash down here in the basement.
I can give you my nail polish remover.
Will that work? Will that
get a shart off a seesaw?
And a bench? And a guy
who fell asleep on a bench?
- [STATIC ON RADIO]
- Owen, Elwood. Bad news, Chief.
He, uh, he took it up a notch.
You do not tag trees!
Look at that vein on the side
of your head going crazy.
[ELWOOD] Oh, yeah.
Look at that. That is scary.
Night vision goggles, ghillie suits,
flare, super-duper-bright flashlights.
Oh, when did we get these in?
Ow. That'll be 413 bucks.
Dang, Dad. You mean business.
Oh, not that much business.
I guess the camping stove is overkill.
Not even sure what I was
thinking with the speargun.
Can we see the total with
and without the face paint?
Tonight when this tagger strikes,
we are going to take them out.
Wait, "take them out", like kill them?
- No.
- Arrest them?
I don't technically have that authority,
so it's not so much "take them out"
and more "catch them
in the act on camera
and give that footage to
the proper authorities".
Great, but, like, how do
we know where they'll be?
Huh. Well, maybe if we map out
all the places they've tagged,
we can figure out a
pattern or something.
Yeah.
Dad, you have had some
dumb ideas in your day,
but that is not one of them.
Let's go.
Knock, knock.
Time for doggy's worm medicine
and Bitsy's heart pill.
Oh, crap. Which is which?
Why'd I put them on a tray like this?
- Oh, well. Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.
- We're busy. Pills later.
Oh, I didn't realize you were
here doing more estate planning.
I should, uh, bring us all tea,
and we can just hunker
down and really get into it.
Privacy, please. Shampagne
has papers to sign.
- What? I mean, what? What's he signing?
- Stuff.
But he's a dog. [GROANS]
How would it even be legal?
Paw prints are legally binding
in the state of New York.
How else would they sign documents?
Dogs can't hold pens!
Go! Go on! Get!
Eh. He wasn't looking.
[OWEN] Okay. This is every
spot there's been a shart tag.
They're all over the park.
Is this just random?
- But what if it isn't?
- Oh. I guess that'd be neat.
There's a method to this
madness more behind this ♪
A larger plan, an
evil twist we missed ♪
If we map out every spot
marked by our vandal ♪
We could conclude this
lewd graffiti scandal ♪
He attacked a tree at 85th ♪
He tagged the Delacorte ♪
- He switched to red at Rambles Shed ♪
- He sharts like it's a sport ♪
[ELWOOD] He hit so many
playgrounds all the meadows ♪
Oh, put dots here and here
he also sharted those ♪
Okay, just shout out what you see
the first thing in your head ♪
Chicken pox, gumdrops
a dalmatian in a bed ♪
Wait, are you just
naming things with dots?
You said to say what it looks like.
Yes, but once you've connected the dots.
Oh, you're not gonna like my list.
- Anybody else?
- I was also doing things with dots.
[GRUNTING]
There's a method to this
madness we can solve it ♪
- A chair, a yacht ♪
- [MAN] A big banana split? ♪
- Maybe it's the skyline? ♪
- These could be towers ♪
Maybe it's just random we've
been at this for two hours ♪
Two hours? That puts you all on
overtime. Clock out. Clock out.
- Thanks a lot, Elwood.
- [WOMAN] Yeah, thanks a lot, Elwood.
Wait, let me see something.
There's a method to this madness ♪
Thank you. I've been saying that.
It's not a chair, a yacht
dessert or hat ♪
He's spelling out a word
he's on to the last part ♪
A secret code he's
writing with his art ♪
If you connect the dots like this ♪
[ALL GASP]
It's a giant shart ♪
There's a method to the madness ♪
There's a method to the madness ♪
All he has to do is cross the T ♪
Looks like we're doing a stakeout.
You mean we all get overtime?
Looks like I'm doing
a stakeout with Molly.
[BITSY] "Graffiti plague
ravages the park".
That's what I'm talking about.
I'm the smartest person in
the world yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
Doggy's good leash is at the cleaners,
so I have to use this old one.
- [DISPOSAL GRINDING]
- [STAMMERS]
Sure, sure. Just make
sure you do the full loop.
We had a little extra
custard after lunch.
I don't want him to get custard belly.
Oh, we're gonna have
ourselves a great walk.
And by custard belly, I
mean explosive diarrhea,
so bring extra baggies
or a sponge or something.
[HELEN GRUMBLES]
Twelve different sales.
Never to an individual buyer.
Always a corporation.
Pretty standard for
New York real estate.
Big companies are buying
up whole chunks of the city.
Now, if my watch is correct,
it's cake o'clock in the break room.
[GROANS] Another birthday?
Doug's. We got him a chocolate cake.
I mean, his birthday was yesterday,
but we're doing it today.
Okay. I'm wondering if maybe all these
companies are connected somehow.
- Well, are they?
- I don't know.
Then why are you telling me?
Because you're my boss,
and also didn't you ask?
I said, "Hey, Paige, cake in the
break room in five minutes".
And then you were talking
about real estate for so long.
Okay, go! I'll see you in there.
All right, but you're
really coming, right?
I don't want it to be just me and Doug.
- All the tax numbers are the same.
- What?
All the companies use
the same tax ID numbers.
These supposedly different
companies are just one company
buying the mayor's crappy real
estate at ridiculous prices.
- You want some cake, Paige?
- Uh, save my piece, Doug.
- Where do you want me to save it?
- Oh, my God, Doug, in the fridge.
Wait, just give it to me. [GULPING]
So, who owns the company?
Okay, not sure, but they filed
their articles of
incorporation in Panama.
- Mmm. Yikes.
- Yikes.
Why "yikes"? Don't say
yikes when he says yikes.
You can't find out who owns a
Panamanian shell corporation,
that's why people make
Panamanian shell corporations.
Duh.
Doug, so help me, I will
smoosh this in your face.
- But it's my birthday.
- It was your birthday yesterday, Doug!
You think you're gonna get
all the money, huh? A damn dog!
Do you have any idea
what I do for that woman?
Half of her blood used to be my blood.
Fluffy little face ♪
With your fluffy dumb tail
wagging to the pace ♪
Life is tough with
your plushy bedding ♪
And your tushy-petting-getting ♪
Ooh, I could choke you till you croak
'cause my life's a joke ♪
You see for once in
my life I'd have glee ♪
If I didn't have to lift a finger ♪
If I linger here by the Harlem Meer ♪
And I have to lag and help
an old hag with her handbag ♪
Bless you, bless you achoo, tissue ♪
Thank you yes, if we
talk in the crosswalk ♪
Then a bike group bikes by, bye-bye ♪
And a horse on its course
pulls its carriage with a force ♪
And splat, you'll be flat
like a hat that's been sat on ♪
Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha ♪
Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha ♪
Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha [GASPS]
Oh, that's exhausting.
If there's a will there's
a way, there's a way-ay ♪
If there's a will there's
a way, there's a way-ay ♪
There's a way to get away scot-free ♪
With a sneaky-deaky murder
of the first degree ♪
So, doggy, don't mess
see now who's a pedigree ♪
Me ♪
Oops. I did not mean to come this way.
But we meet here every day.
I thought I could take him
by that statue of Balto,
the sled dog, again.
Someone has a crush. [CHUCKLES]
Shampagne, not me.
Wait, why are you slowly
stepping away as I talk?
Huh? Am I? Oh, look at that.
I'm gonna, um, walk solo today.
Doggy wants to go to the Guggenheim.
No kids allowed. Gotta go, bye.
Huh. Shampagne doesn't like modern art.
He thinks it's become too commercial.
[MOLLY] I can't believe we're
gonna do a stakeout tonight.
- This is so fun.
- I know, right?
But super serious too.
Oh. Dibs on the cool-guy
takedown phrase.
I've got it. "Looks like you've
been painted into a corner".
Oh, that's good.
Are those ghillie suits?
Uh, yeah, just some official
Central Park business.
Nothing to be concerned about.
I wish I could go into more detail,
but we're on a stakeout
to catch a tagger.
- Look at all our gear.
- A tagger? Uh, okay.
Yeah, whoever's doing the
shart tags all over the place.
We think he's gonna hit this spot
tonight. I figured out the pattern.
Well, I-I can't stand graffiti.
Maybe I'm wrong, but it seems like
writing on a public place,
what's the point?
So, you just gonna wait here?
- Yep.
- Oh.
Ideally, I was hoping the tagger
would strike at, like, 8:00 or 8:30.
- His bedtime is 8:45.
- No, not tonight.
I had a very strong cup of Earl Grey,
and I'm gonna be buzzed
until at least 9:30.
[GROANS] Feel free to make your faces
look like you're enjoying this more.
[GROANS] Union break.
Leave the money on the ground,
or just walk away. That's fine.
Paige! Paige! Hello.
How's your investigation going?
Be specific, so we both
know what you know.
Uh not great.
"Not great" not great,
or "not great" so great?
No, the first one.
I tracked the source of
Mayor Whitebottom's money,
- but it's a Panamanian shell corporation.
- Mmm.
I had to file an inquiry through
the Freedom of Information
and petition the Panamanian
government to unseal records.
In six short months, I'll
possibly kind of have traction
toward sort of beginning
to figure out
It's Bitsy! It's Bitsy
Brandenham! Oh, no.
How would you know Bitsy Brandenham
owns this Panamanian shell corporation?
Okay. Well, see, buskers
always hear stuff in the park.
Important businesspeople are
always crossing through the park,
talking on their business phones,
thinking buskers don't know anything
about Panamanian shell corporations.
But honestly, why are we even
talking about how I know this at all?
It's silly. You're being silly, Paige.
- That makes sense.
- Oh, thank God.
Wealthy people are always going around
buying influence with politicians,
and Bitsy and the mayor
do run in similar circles.
Right, yeah.
Now that you're putting it
together, it does make sense.
You put it together. I mean,
because you just told me.
Say what?
Bitsy Brandenham is
behind the shell corp.
Your words. You said it.
I mean, can we just say
you said it, please?
[GRUNTS]
[SHAMPAGNE WHINING]
Yep. That'll work.
[ECHOING] It's like he's
got a little mustache.
[GROANS] Damn you, boy, and
your stupid stick mustache
that's not even in the
right place. [SIGHS]
- I can't do it.
- Hey.
- Aah! Nothing.
- Listen, I know why you ditched me.
You think I walk too slow. I
get it. Look at these stubs.
Yeah, that was it. It's annoying,
but I'm over it now.
Just try being taller
next time. Let's go.
[BARKING]
Shampagne!
- [TIRES SCREECH]
- Oh, for the love of
[GRUNTING]
- You saved me.
- I know.
- And you saved Shampagne.
- I know.
We owe you our lives.
Yeah, well, put me in your will.
[OWEN WHISPERS] When
that tagger gets here,
he's not gonna know what
hit him, but it'll be us.
We'll hit him with a
sternly-worded cease and desist.
These suits are great.
I love being invisible.
- I know, me too.
- [BOTH GIGGLING]
[CLEARS THROAT] I got
your note on the fridge.
Also, bushes blend in better if
they're not laughing and giggling.
And your flashlights are pretty bright.
Did you think about not having them on?
- It got so dark.
- We wanted just a little bit of light.
Maybe the tagger doesn't think
glowing, giggly bushes are weird.
[SIGHS] Damn it, you're right.
Who are we kidding?
He probably made us
and went somewhere else.
What? Are you the park manager
or the park "quitting-ger"?
- What?
- Wait.
Of course.
[LOUDLY] You know what, Dad?
You're right. Let's quit.
Really? You were kind of mean
about it a half second ago.
Yeah, nah, come on.
Listen, I think quitting is
exactly what we should do,
so here we go with the quitting.
You guys get real
weird when you do this.
- [OWEN] Now!
- [ALL] Gotcha!
You're gonna apologize to the park.
But you left.
We only made you think we were leaving.
- We knew you were waiting us out.
- How?
You've got the same
nervous tic as my dad.
I saw you do the same compulsive
thigh rubs that my dad does.
[BOTH] It's not compulsive.
Right. It's just automatic and
you get upset if you can't do it.
See? Your mom gets it.
That's when I realized that if this
mega shart is your masterpiece,
then there's no way you weren't
gonna show up to finish it.
You're like my dad. You're compuls
- [TOGETHER] Don't say it.
- Sorry, uncontrollably determined.
Fine, but you forgot
one important thing.
- What's that?
- Run, run, run, run, run.
Dad, you don't need to chase him.
Look, we got what we needed.
This'll look good on a "Wanted" poster.
- Great job, guys!
- Whoo-hoo!
- We did it.
- Molly, you did it.
I know. I was being nice.
"You're gonna apologize to the park"?
It just came out. It just came out.
It was the tea talking. I double
bagged it. I'm still juiced.
Phew. Owen and Molly
stopped that tagger,
and Bitsy was
surprisingly cool about it.
[SCREAMING]
And did Bitsy really leave
everything to Shampagne in her will?
Well, not yet. That
stuff with the lawyer
was actually Bitsy making sure
she was in Shampagne's will.
She wants his sweaters.
They're the same size.
And maybe I bent the rules a little bit
by spilling the beans to Paige
about Bitsy and the mayor,
but who even remembers that?
And it looks like there aren't gonna be
any consequences anyway, so hooray.
But there are always consequences.
Hi, I'm Griffin, your new narrator.
[BIRDIE] Phew! I'm hungry.
- "Hot dog time for Birdie".
- [BIRDIE] Hot dog time for Birdie.
Or should I say "not" dog
time for Birdie. Bum, bum, bum.
[WHISPERS] Cliff-hanger.
Money in my monkey bank ♪
Willy, willy-nilly, hey ♪
Gonna shake that money
in my monkey bank ♪
Gonna shake it willy,
willy-nilly, hey ♪
Gonna shake that money
in my monkey bank ♪
Money in my monkey bank ♪
[VOCALIZING]
Shake it willy-nilly
shake it willy-nilly ♪
[VOCALIZING]
Shake it willy-nilly ♪
Money in my monkey bank ♪
[VOCALIZING]
[VOCALIZING]
If there's a will there's
a way, there's a way-ay ♪
If there's a will there's
a willy-nilly way-ay ♪