Common Ground (2013) s01e05 Episode Script
Rupert
1 I'm sorry for your loss, Rupert.
Yeah I know, ta.
It's dead out there.
Help yourself.
I've decided what I want.
Have you? I want your dad's face on me chest, with RIP Gerry Ridell written underneath, when he had a beard.
I appreciate it but I don't think that's appropriate.
No I wanna do it.
He was a gent, your dad.
Why not have summat smaller for your first one, eh? You think? - I thought what with your dad dying - Nahhh.
Dad, this one's cheese as well.
What about a duck? A duck? Yeah.
A clever little duck in a hammock.
Or Michael Jackson? He's not in the book! So how did you know him? Who? Gerry Ridell, the owner of this place, his dad and the love of my life The bloke who's funeral you've just been to.
I haven't been to a funeral.
Then why you crying? It hurts.
I'm feeling a bit funny.
Can you just stop for a second? Do you want a glass of water or something? Oh, no, please god, not today! Oh, Bloody hell! What?! Oh! Jesus! Full house! Stevo! Mop and bucket.
And when you've finished put him in the recovery position.
Big bloke like that ought to be ashamed of himself.
I wouldn't mind, but I was doing him that Chinese symbol for courage.
Stupid wanker! I'm sorry.
Thanks, Ade.
I can't eat these.
Nah? No.
I don't like cheese.
Do I? Dad? There were eight of us! There's ham there, there's pork pies.
You always liked pork pies.
No.
I'm gonna eat one of these out of respect for Me dad? Yeah.
Yeah.
It's what he would've wanted, innit? He's getting worse.
He's fine.
I've got it, do me a spider please, Rupert? A spider? Yeah.
Are you sure? Yeah.
I want a spider.
Or a tank.
A tank? Yeah.
Ah you must die KABOOM! Ah my face! Whoa! Mourners only! Er, yeah.
Sorry about The dead person.
Hi gang.
Oh hey, Fi, looking good.
Black really works on you.
Hey Flat Face, how you holding up? Ah, you know.
Emotional day.
Your dad's dead? I'm so sorry.
Hold up, Tiny Tears, I haven't finished with you yet! Leave me alone! Shit-ass! Well, I'm sure you gave him a lovely send off.
I didn't see you at the crem.
Oh, no I wasn't there.
I mean I would've been but, I had to do a thing.
Speaking of which Yeah Can this wait, Love? I've not had a chance to tell 'em.
Tell us what? I can't wait, Babe, you know that.
My visa's already run out.
And why don't you want to tell anyone it was your idea? This is what you wanted.
This is what I want.
I want to go.
With you there, now.
Told us What?! Ow! Leave it out, Fi! Do you know what? Time is ticking, sugar-tits.
I'm not gonna force you - maybe the decision's already been made.
Hey? Horoscopes.
Ok.
Your dad's dead.
Yes! Rupert dude, I've written you a song.
It's about your dad! Right.
All the guilt running round your head All the things you'd wished you'd said Well you can't you see? Cos your dad's dead! Fucking hell! All the pain and all the worry Can't say goodbye, and it's too late to say you're sorry Cos your dad's dead! That's all I've got so far.
Idon't know what to say.
You don't know what to say? How's about goodbye everybody and sod the lot of you? Why don't you go and piss on his grave.
Shit all over his legacy.
Legacy? What? Ten grand in debt to t'local psychopath? Some bloody legacy! What about all this? This was never a permanent arrangement - you knew that! "Aw, you've got a gift Rupert, your mum'd be proud Rupert!" Proud of what? Eh? Wasting my life like she did sitting around sketching half baked sentiments onto a bunch of idiots.
Just so we can cherish the memory of that drunken selfish twat.
Ken as good as raised me after me mam died! That's why I am not inked, and I never will be.
Cos when I wash me hands of this place I want nought left to remind me of you lot - or him.
See Jill? She don't go around reading her arms and reminiscing about the good old days.
Cos she believes there's better days ahead of us! I want a life, and if this place means that much to you then take it! Have it! This is my ticket out of here and as far as I'm concerned that debt died with me dad and Lady Gaga can go whistle for his money.
Don't be shy.
I meant an apology! If you weren't so handy at the old cartooning, I'd rip your arms off and beat you uglier with em.
Hey, leave him be.
That poor sod just buried his father.
Shut the fuck up! What's all that on your face? What's that? Oh, I'm sorry he gets confused I think it looks really nice.
Alright? We got a problem here, Dorothy? Course not.
Then why you grabbing the man by his face? That's every time now.
It's needless.
That idiot you slung in the ground today left owing Mr Sunshine 200 grand.
T-t-ten grand.
It's 200.
So, with this place up as collateral, I don't think it's down to you to go giving it away to anyone else, do you? Until that debt is paid off, in full you're going nowhere.
Understand? Mmm.
So consider yourselves under new management.
I'm gonna have some fun with you.
Don't just stand there, back to work.
Chop chop.
August 12th 1985, Blackpool.
Do you remember? We all went to Blackpool and your dad drove.
There were 8 of us, and we got arrested.
We got arrested for stink bombing donkeys - do you remember, and all them kids were in tears! I remember that day Rupert.
Tattoo that day for me.
Do it here on me.
Hey.
Your dad'd be proud.
Your life's been turned upside down You're lost and your lover is leaving town Wooh.
Shut it, Stevo.
Urgh.
Mop and bucket.
Great news! Sagittarius, changes are afoot - go with the flow, moving on up! Babe we, er, we need to talk.
Yeah I know, ta.
It's dead out there.
Help yourself.
I've decided what I want.
Have you? I want your dad's face on me chest, with RIP Gerry Ridell written underneath, when he had a beard.
I appreciate it but I don't think that's appropriate.
No I wanna do it.
He was a gent, your dad.
Why not have summat smaller for your first one, eh? You think? - I thought what with your dad dying - Nahhh.
Dad, this one's cheese as well.
What about a duck? A duck? Yeah.
A clever little duck in a hammock.
Or Michael Jackson? He's not in the book! So how did you know him? Who? Gerry Ridell, the owner of this place, his dad and the love of my life The bloke who's funeral you've just been to.
I haven't been to a funeral.
Then why you crying? It hurts.
I'm feeling a bit funny.
Can you just stop for a second? Do you want a glass of water or something? Oh, no, please god, not today! Oh, Bloody hell! What?! Oh! Jesus! Full house! Stevo! Mop and bucket.
And when you've finished put him in the recovery position.
Big bloke like that ought to be ashamed of himself.
I wouldn't mind, but I was doing him that Chinese symbol for courage.
Stupid wanker! I'm sorry.
Thanks, Ade.
I can't eat these.
Nah? No.
I don't like cheese.
Do I? Dad? There were eight of us! There's ham there, there's pork pies.
You always liked pork pies.
No.
I'm gonna eat one of these out of respect for Me dad? Yeah.
Yeah.
It's what he would've wanted, innit? He's getting worse.
He's fine.
I've got it, do me a spider please, Rupert? A spider? Yeah.
Are you sure? Yeah.
I want a spider.
Or a tank.
A tank? Yeah.
Ah you must die KABOOM! Ah my face! Whoa! Mourners only! Er, yeah.
Sorry about The dead person.
Hi gang.
Oh hey, Fi, looking good.
Black really works on you.
Hey Flat Face, how you holding up? Ah, you know.
Emotional day.
Your dad's dead? I'm so sorry.
Hold up, Tiny Tears, I haven't finished with you yet! Leave me alone! Shit-ass! Well, I'm sure you gave him a lovely send off.
I didn't see you at the crem.
Oh, no I wasn't there.
I mean I would've been but, I had to do a thing.
Speaking of which Yeah Can this wait, Love? I've not had a chance to tell 'em.
Tell us what? I can't wait, Babe, you know that.
My visa's already run out.
And why don't you want to tell anyone it was your idea? This is what you wanted.
This is what I want.
I want to go.
With you there, now.
Told us What?! Ow! Leave it out, Fi! Do you know what? Time is ticking, sugar-tits.
I'm not gonna force you - maybe the decision's already been made.
Hey? Horoscopes.
Ok.
Your dad's dead.
Yes! Rupert dude, I've written you a song.
It's about your dad! Right.
All the guilt running round your head All the things you'd wished you'd said Well you can't you see? Cos your dad's dead! Fucking hell! All the pain and all the worry Can't say goodbye, and it's too late to say you're sorry Cos your dad's dead! That's all I've got so far.
Idon't know what to say.
You don't know what to say? How's about goodbye everybody and sod the lot of you? Why don't you go and piss on his grave.
Shit all over his legacy.
Legacy? What? Ten grand in debt to t'local psychopath? Some bloody legacy! What about all this? This was never a permanent arrangement - you knew that! "Aw, you've got a gift Rupert, your mum'd be proud Rupert!" Proud of what? Eh? Wasting my life like she did sitting around sketching half baked sentiments onto a bunch of idiots.
Just so we can cherish the memory of that drunken selfish twat.
Ken as good as raised me after me mam died! That's why I am not inked, and I never will be.
Cos when I wash me hands of this place I want nought left to remind me of you lot - or him.
See Jill? She don't go around reading her arms and reminiscing about the good old days.
Cos she believes there's better days ahead of us! I want a life, and if this place means that much to you then take it! Have it! This is my ticket out of here and as far as I'm concerned that debt died with me dad and Lady Gaga can go whistle for his money.
Don't be shy.
I meant an apology! If you weren't so handy at the old cartooning, I'd rip your arms off and beat you uglier with em.
Hey, leave him be.
That poor sod just buried his father.
Shut the fuck up! What's all that on your face? What's that? Oh, I'm sorry he gets confused I think it looks really nice.
Alright? We got a problem here, Dorothy? Course not.
Then why you grabbing the man by his face? That's every time now.
It's needless.
That idiot you slung in the ground today left owing Mr Sunshine 200 grand.
T-t-ten grand.
It's 200.
So, with this place up as collateral, I don't think it's down to you to go giving it away to anyone else, do you? Until that debt is paid off, in full you're going nowhere.
Understand? Mmm.
So consider yourselves under new management.
I'm gonna have some fun with you.
Don't just stand there, back to work.
Chop chop.
August 12th 1985, Blackpool.
Do you remember? We all went to Blackpool and your dad drove.
There were 8 of us, and we got arrested.
We got arrested for stink bombing donkeys - do you remember, and all them kids were in tears! I remember that day Rupert.
Tattoo that day for me.
Do it here on me.
Hey.
Your dad'd be proud.
Your life's been turned upside down You're lost and your lover is leaving town Wooh.
Shut it, Stevo.
Urgh.
Mop and bucket.
Great news! Sagittarius, changes are afoot - go with the flow, moving on up! Babe we, er, we need to talk.