Courting Alex (2006) s01e05 Episode Script

Well, I really need to get going.
I have to get back to the bar.
Come on, do you have to go now? Alex, this is not like being a doctor or a teacher.
This is a bar.
I need you to look over these-- whoa! When did the office get Cinemax? - I'll see you later tonight.
- Okay.
You guys so cute together.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, not in a good way.
I'm sorry.
It's not you.
I'm having an incredible dry spell with men.
- Well, we all go through those.
- Not like this.
Even my prisoner pen pal broke it off with me.
You never know.
He could have met someone else during lockdown.
It is so going to happen for you.
You are so cute and smart and Okay, you know what, I'm just going to fix you up.
Really? You would do that for me? Of course.
I want you to be happy.
You know, I used to do it all the time in law school.
Oh, but that's so great.
Did any of them end up married? - Uh, almost all of them.
- Oh! Not to each other, but still Did any of them end up engaged? - In relationships? - Mm Like second dates? Hey, I just get them together.
After that they're on their own.
- Hey, Mol.
- Hi.
I need these contracts notarized before they go out.
Oh, sure thing, Phil.
What's going on there? What are you talking about? I saw the sparks between you and Phil.
You want me to talk to him for you? Yeah.
Ask him how his wife and kids are.
Right, not Phil.
There's someone great out there for you, and we're going to find him.
- Julian.
- Yeah, right.
An artist.
That's what I need.
To get involved with a self-obsessed, ego-maniacal genius! - I'm sorry.
- That's okay.
All I heard was "genius.
" Hey, I didn't know you were coming by.
Well, your father has commissioned me to paint a mural in the lobby.
Oh, that's right.
I have to tell you, all the partners were thrilled to have secured an artist of your stature.
Oh, I'm not sure how much "stature" I have.
How much stature do you think I have? You've got it coming out of your ears.
You might want to trim it.
- There he is.
- Hello, Bill.
I've got something for you, sport.
A little down payment on the mural.
Wow! That's very generous.
- Too much? - I didn't say that.
Wouldn't say that.
I'll get started on some sketches right away.
Oh, great.
Oh, listen, um, um Would you do me a favor? Anything.
Frankly, with this check, you pretty much own me.
All right.
Could you paint a portrait of my wife's dog? I'm sorry, it sounded like you wanted me to paint a portrait of your wife's dog.
Is that a problem or ? Well, in art school, I did happen to miss the class on puppies, clowns and unicorns, but Well, if you're not up for the job, I can find somebody who can paint the dog - and the mural.
- No, no, no! You misunderstand me.
I-I relish a challenge.
I'll just need a snapshot to take home.
Oh, my-my assistant has something for you.
Helen! You're going to need a lot more than a snapshot to get the the essence of this little puppy dog.
Say hi to to Baby.
Whoa, wait! I don't know anything about dogs.
No water after 9:00.
And wear the gloves when you apply the ointment.
I'd wear the gloves.
I'm off to dinner with Scott.
If you need me, I'll be on my cell.
The Landers contracts are in your briefcase.
Thank you.
Hey, I'm picking Scott up at his basketball game.
That's ten guys right there.
I love tall guys.
Or any guy over five-three.
I am going to find you the right guy.
Whoo! You are so almost in a relationship.
Whoa, yo, hang on there.
Don't talk about relationships.
You'll scare them away.
Isn't that what you're looking for? No.
I just want to get back in the game, you know? Look, just between us, I'd settle for some great sex.
I'd settle for some sex.
Hey.
Thank you.
Wow! I've never seen you this sweaty with your clothes on.
I'm going to grab my bag.
Hey, um Who's that guy? Him? Uh, Seth.
Yeah? Is he a good guy? Yeah.
He's cool, he's funny Can't go to his left to save his life He's cute.
Is he single? Okay, that's the worst breakup technique I've ever seen.
Not for me.
I want to set up Molly.
Will you go talk to him? Alex, I think setting people up is a bad idea.
Why? Feelings get hurt.
Friendships get ruined.
CDs go missing for years.
But this is for Molly.
Cute, lovable Molly.
Look, everyone I know is either in a relationship, or they don't want one.
Or both.
It's not like she needs some big relationship.
- Alex - Okay, okay.
Just between us, all she's really looking for is some fun.
- Fun? - Yes.
She's a woman.
She has needs.
Cute, lovable Molly.
Okay, you've thought about Molly's needs long enough.
Well? Let me ask you a question.
Why is it the minute a woman gets in a relationship, she wants to fix everyone up? It's just you make me so happy, and I want Molly to have that-- you know, the same joy and warmth and fulfillment that you're going to experience later tonight if you do this for me.
Who am I to stand between Molly and her joy? You're such a giver.
Ah, I miss you, too, sweetheart.
How's London? You want to stay two more days? Sure, no problem.
Of course I'll take care of Baby.
I love the little fur-ball as much as you do.
All right.
Okay, honey.
I miss you, too.
Okay.
Crap! Helen! I'm not baby-sitting that dog.
What am I going to do with it for two more days? Hello? Oh, Julian.
Come on in.
Well, I've got your painting, and I've brought back your beloved Baby.
You have no idea how much I missed that little critter.
No, no, no, leave him in the crate.
He-he feels safe in there.
So I give you Baby.
No, no.
No, that's that's unacceptable.
That's You're gonna have to do it again.
What? But it looks exactly like the mutt.
Something's not right.
There's, uh there's something about the eyes.
Are you joking? They're perfect.
I even got the disgusting black ooze that drips from the corners.
No, there's no there's no sparkle there.
Sparkle? I have been staring at this bloody carnival prize for two days! Nothing but ooze.
I'll tell you what.
Take-take two more days.
But I've, I've got to have the sparkle.
I promise you, there is no sparkle.
He's just a horny little bugger who, no matter how hard he tries, simply can't get clean enough.
Julian, if I'm not happy with the way you paint the dog, how am I gonna be happy with the way you do the mural? The very expensive mural.
Oh, look.
The sparkle.
I am so sorry I'm late.
Please don't fire me.
Please don't fire me.
- I'm not gonna fire you.
- Well, go ahead, fire me.
Who cares? I had the most amazing date with Seth.
I missed my stop because I was thinking about him.
D etails.
Well, I was on the "A" train going uptown - About the date! - Oh, yeah.
He's incredible.
He's sweet and funny and My dry spell? Over! Twice.
Good for you.
Twice.
God, and you know, Brooklyn's not that far.
- You went to Brooklyn? - Oh I went to Brooklyn.
And what a borough it is.
I just can't wait to see him again.
Whoa! I thought this was just a one-time trip to Brooklyn.
No, I thought so, too.
But we just clicked.
We had this deep connection.
It's just so nice to meet a guy and not feel like you have to play games.
Do you think I should call him? Because he has not called me.
Easy! It's only 9:30.
And you don't want to call him, 'cause you don't want to seem too anxious.
Just play it cool.
Right, I'll play it cool.
I'll wait till 10:00.
10:15? You want to go back to Brooklyn, don't you? Yes.
And on the express train, if at all possible.
- No calls.
- Got it.
Oh, Scott, I just want to say thank you for the best time of my entire life.
She said they had an amazing night.
Wow.
You were right.
Setting them up was a great idea.
No, I said we shouldn't set them up.
Oh, right.
That was my idea.
See? Our happy coupleness rubbed off on two other people and made another happy couple.
But I thought you said she had no interest in being a happy couple.
She does now.
- She does? - Yeah! Well, I'm not not sure Seth is looking at it in the same way.
What are you talking about? They clicked.
Twice.
Well, there's there's a possibility they might have clicked so well because Seth thought she wasn't looking for anything serious.
Where would Seth have gotten that idea? Huh, well, I may have, uh told him that Molly just wanted to have "fun.
" Fun? With the quotes? Are you crazy?! You might as well have said she just wanted to have sex.
Oh, my God! You said she just wanted to have sex.
You actually said she just wanted to have sex? You really wanted this to happen, and Seth wasn't interested in being fixed up.
I had to sweeten the deal.
The deal?! This is lovable, huggable Molly, not "Let's Make a Deal" Molly.
Oh, my God.
I'm not a matchmaker.
I'm a pimp.
Molly! I decided I'm gonna call him.
- No.
- No.
Look, I know he's supposed to call me.
But if two people have a special connection, then why play by the old rules? Some of those old rules are pretty good.
You know, like, uh don't run with scissors.
Or loose lips sink ships.
Thou shalt not kill.
All right, I'll wait.
I'll play it cool, make him come to me.
- Yeah.
Excellent plan.
- Excellent plan.
You guys are such good friends.
Well, thanks a lot.
'Cause now the whole thing's gonna blow up, and Molly's gonna blame me.
What about me? I mean, things are gonna be awkward between me and Seth.
We're really good friends.
Well, you are just gonna have to call him and tell him to let Molly down easy.
I don't have his number.
Call Information.
You do know your good friend's last name, right? Sure.
No.
Look, Molly has it.
Come on, let's just ask her.
Oh, like that's not gonna raise a red flag! You are such a guy! Well had it working for you last night.
Just try and get Seth's number.
In the meantime, we'll distract her so she doesn't obsess.
We'll have her over for dinner, or we'll watch movies, we'll play Charades.
I'm telling you right now, that'll never work.
- Why? - I suck at Charades.
Wait a minute.
What if Seth feels the same way Molly does? - Yeah, I don't I don't think - Just go with me on this for a second.
He could have thought he didn't want a relationship, met someone great like Molly and suddenly be head over heels in love.
Yeah, I guess I guess that's possible.
Yeah.
He's probably just getting into work now.
He'll settle in and then he'll call her.
And all this worrying will be for nothing.
- Yeah! - Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah! I wonder if Seth's been in some kind of accident.
Well, he probably should have called by now.
But he's a guy.
Yeah, guys.
Who's with me? - Excuse me.
- I'm gonna check my messages.
And my e-mail.
And the office.
And my service.
You know, at least when they're in prison, you have some idea of where they are at night.
Okay, bad news.
That was Eddie Elbows.
He doesn't have Seth's number.
Neither does Fast-Break Tommy or Hang-Time Ted.
- What are you called? - Hot Scott.
Gay Gary makes up the nicknames.
Look, I really think we got to be honest with her.
Oh, absolutely.
We'll just tell her, "Molly, Hot Scott messed up in a giant way.
" No, you're right.
I I should have never insisted we fix them up.
Oh, wait! That was you! When I told you that she just wanted to have fun, I said this is just between us.
Let's count the amount of people you're supposed to tell when it's just between us.
None! Well, I was only off by one.
Well, I got three messages.
He called! See? I knew Seth would call.
Actually, he didn't call.
But three other guys from Scott's basketball team did, wanting to know if I was free this weekend.
Yay! Three calls! Someone's Miss Popular.
All right, what is going on? Bad pause, very bad pause.
Look uh Molly with only the best of intentions Scott may have told Seth that you weren't interested in a long-term thing.
Exactly what'd you tell him I was interested in? A short- term thing.
Please tell me Seth was killed in a horrible accident, and the funeral is this weekend, and those other guys are calling to see if I wanted a ride.
In a car.
- Molly, I'm really sorry.
- Yeah, it was an honest mistake.
I mean, when I told him that you just wanted to have fun, I said this is just between us, but that meant nothing to him.
You know how guys are, so don't be too mad at him.
- I'm not mad at him.
- Good.
- No, I'm mad at you.
- Me?! When I told you that I just wanted a night of, you know, fun, I said that this is just between us.
You were not supposed to tell anyone.
Oh.
I was only off by one.
Hello.
Who's Eddie Garrett? - Eddie Elbows? - Yeah.
You know what? - I will just see you tomorrow.
- Molly? Oh, my God! Go! Just go, damn you.
Oh, you miserable, stubborn, ratty little piece of Oh! He is so cute! - What's his name? - Uh, Baby.
'Cause I love him like he's my baby.
Baby Hi.
Here are your messages and your schedule.
Molly, here.
- I brought you flowers.
- Oh, not necessary.
I don't have the space, and they actually pull oxygen out of the air, but thank you.
Why don't we go get a cup of coffee together? Why don't we just keep things professional? Okay, then.
- can I see you in my office, please? - If it's a professional matter.
It is.
I need you to take a letter.
Dear Molly What? It's a different Molly.
Dear Molly I'm really sorry.
I shouldn't have told Scott.
I've been sharing everything with him lately, and I guess I shared too much.
Okay, it's the same Molly.
Look, I know I messed up, but I was only trying to help.
I just wanted to see you happy.
No, I get it.
He's your boyfriend.
You're gonna tell him everything, even if it means selling out your friends a little.
It would kill me if what I did hurt our friendship.
Did you get all that? I'm really sorry.
- I know.
You meant well.
- So well! I can't stay mad at you.
I would, but you sign my performance reviews.
So, are we okay? We're fine.
We'll be even better when I get my new phone number.
Yeah, about that I swear I will never try and set you up again.
Well, good.
- Now, how 'bout I get you some coffee? - We'll go together.
Oh, you must be Jordan Cole.
Uh, your 9:00.
Jordan.
Hi.
I'm Alex Rose.
Hi, nice to meet you.
Why don't we go in my office and review those contracts? Um, excuse me, Alex, I have a very important - Yeah, yeah.
I'll see what I can do.
- Thanks.
- I can't wait to get to East Hampton.
- Well, this will only take a minute.
Just got to drop off this painting and we can be in the Jacuzzi in two hours.
Did you bring your bathing suit? - No.
- Oops! Neither did I.
Well, this is gonna be so much fun.
Yeah, just you and me.
- And Baby.
- And Baby.
Ooh, I wuv this little Baby.
I love this little Baby more.
I can't wait either, honey.
Okay.
I love you.
Okay.
So, Helen, my wife's coming home today.
We'll need a a car at the airport in two hours and a bottle of Scotch on my desk in, uh, ten minutes.
Yes, Mr.
Rose.
Is Julian here yet? My wife'll kill me if I don't have that damn dog.
Mr Rose will see you now.
Oh, thank God! There's that little I'll see you later, Julian.
Don't you want to look at the painting? What? Oh! Oh, I'm sure it's fine.
Well, there's the thing.
I'm not sure I've done Baby justice.
I'm gonna need to borrow him for a couple more days.
Nonsense! You've totally nailed it.
- No, I haven't - Yes, you have.
No.
It's crap.
Look, let me keep Baby.
I will have him back to you first thing Monday morning.
Possibly the afternoon, depending on traffic.
- No can do.
- Sir, I beg you.
If I give back this dog, I have very little chance of having sex this weekend.
That came out wrong.
What the hell are you talking about? There's a beautiful woman out there who's only spending the weekend with me because she loves this dog.
I don't care how beautiful she is, you are not taking this Julian, come on.
I'm dying to get into that hot tub.
Take the damn dog.