Creature Commandos (2024) s01e05 Episode Script

1
[heels clicking]
So, hey. How's everybody doing?
[class] Good.
Hey, there.
I like that top on you.
Oh. Thanks. [chuckles]
[professor] So.
What can you tell me
about Themyscira?
Uhh, like what?
This is a class on Themyscira,
right, gorgeous?
Seems like you should be able
to tell me something about it.
What are your three favorite
things about Themyscira?
Well, uh, I guess the
ancient sculptures of Antigone.
[yawns]
And the recently
unearthed poetry of Opolonia,
- [snoring]
- And the
Oh, I'm sorry.
Because, what about
[loudly] the lesbians?
[class] Huh, what? Oh, my God.
Hmm, that doesn't seem
very professional.
Something is definitely off.
Ah, uh
I know my contact lens
is back here somewhere.
How is this helping me
get to my Bride?
It's a trade-off.
You help me help the Princess.
I help you with The Bride.
Well, it is taking a long time.
This Professor MacPherson,
she's the one who claims
Circe's visions of the Princess
causing World War III are real.
- So?
- So.
Does she seem like she knows
what she's talking about?
- I suppose not.
- The commandos are on their way
to assassinate the Princess.
Now, we find out the truth
of this professor,
we stop them,
and you get to see your Bride.
A hero.
Oh, awesome!
Should I kill the professor?
- What? No.
- A few of the kids?
No! Why are you killing anyone?
You just said you wanted me
to be a hero.
Not like that.
Right now we should check out
the professor's house,
while she's here at school.
[Frankenstein] Okay.
I'll take the underwear drawer.
[theme music playing]
[thunder rumbling]
[Bride] Guess what
I bring you, Mr. Victor.
Lemon
[whimpering]
[Victor] I did
what I had to do.
[gasps]
[both grunting]
[screams]
[Frankenstein grunting]
[screaming]
- [slurping]
- [Flag] Yes, hello.
This is General Rick Flag.
I'm trying to get
- ahold of Princess Ilana.
- [people gasping, screaming]
No, I know you don't
speak English.
Hold on. Wait!
Son-of-a
[laughs]
Welcome back to Pokolistan,
my friends.
Pleasure to
see you again, Alexi.
[chuckles]
[in Pokolistani]
[in English] Seems strange
for you
to be back so soon, Booka?
As you know, we're just here
to protect the Princess,
being as we have
another credible threat.
For 100 years in isolation,
we have no problems
in Pokolistan.
Then we open communications
with Americans,
and within weeks,
it's nothing but threat,
threat, threat. [chuckles]
Well, I'm not here to comment
on our government's
political choices.
What is the threat, exactly?
Who is threat?
Unfortunately,
that's classified.
If Princess's life
is in danger,
don't you think we should know?
It doesn't really matter
what I think, Alexi.
[sighs]
[grunting]
[bones cracking]
[cat meowing]
Look, that woman
is walking a cat.
Mmm-hmm.
I didn't know that
was something that happens.
Apparently it is.
Could be a bad omen.
Or maybe it's just a cat
on a leash.
Something that odd?
No, it's definitely
an augury of some type.
I know these things.
I once lived with a gypsy woman
steeped in the occult.
[screaming]
[groaning in pain]
[dramatic music playing]
[dog sniffing]
[barking]
Ivan?
Ivan?
What have you found, boy?
[melancholy music playing]
[gasps]
[Ivan continues barking]
[woman shudders] Oh
my
What tomfoolery is this?
[growling]
Ivan.
No, no.
[whimpering]
Good boy.
You're badly burned, good sir.
These ointments have
ancient healing properties.
They are sacred to my family.
Gypsy shit.
[chuckles softly]
Da. Gypsy shit.
Ahh.
Your mobility is improving,
I see.
Why do you not look at me
when you speak?
It is disrespectful.
My eyes do not work, Eric.
You are blind?
Da.
This world holds nothing
of worth besides beauty.
If I were blind,
- I would kill myself.
- Oh, my.
The beauty of my Bride.
That is what keeps me going.
- [woman] Close your eyes.
- Why?
Ha, have I not earned
your trust?
Close your eyes.
[groans softly]
[woman] Are they closed?
Yes.
[woman] Now, imagine
you're Bride.
- That is beauty.
- [sighs softly]
And it is not
with your eyes, is it?
No.
[woman] That is
most of my everyday.
I see more beauty
than you can imagine.
I'll take upstairs.
[gasps] Is that a leash?
[squelching]
[Flag] Frank! Come up here.
It's her, the professor.
It's MacPherson.
But we just saw her.
Had to be a fake,
some sort of disguise artist,
or someone working for Circe
to throw us all off track.
All that mumbo-jumbo
with Waller yesterday,
to get the Princess killed.
[phone ringing]
Da?
[Flag] I need to speak
to Princess Rostovic right now.
[in Pokolistani]
- [in English] Richard!
- Oh, thank God.
Ilana, you need to
get out of there.
I don't have any time,
but the commandos
are on their way to kill you.
Get out!
[Ilana] What?
I don't understand.
Tell her about me.
- I'll explain soon
- Tell her about how we've been
- hanging out and everything.
- Frank, shut up.
Right now you need to
- get someplace safe.
- How I'm a good person.
[Ilana] Alexi is picking
them up now.
- Hey, Ilana, just get out.
- Tell her to put in a good word
for me with The Bride.
Would you shut the fuck up?
Ilana, just get out of there.
[burps]
I'll call you back shortly.
Go! Get out of there!
What?
You didn't tell her
anything about me?
Like what?
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe how we're best friends?
How is she going to vouch
to The Bride
about how much I've changed
and what a rad guy I am
if you don't even tell her
we're buds!
Shh! The Bride is trying
to kill her.
She's not gonna listen
to what Ilana has to say.
I'm beginning to suspect
this whole plan makes
absolutely no sense
- from my point of view.
- Ugh. Hide!
[groans softly]
You think you're
hidden right now?
Oh, come, I don't give a shit.
[groans]
[sighs in exasperation]
[cat meows]
- Turkey.
- I can smell.
You clean it.
No need to be so bossy.
I seem to have a way
with this shotgun.
If I see something to murder,
I barely have to think it,
and it is done.
My father would be happy
to see it put to use.
Ivan helped.
Oh! What did Ivan do?
He was quiet.
It was good.
- Bogdana?
- Yes?
Thank you for nursing me
back to health,
and allowing me
a place to recuperate.
This is not just a place
for you to recuperate, Eric.
It is your home.
I, and especially Ivan,
have been the happiest
we've ever been
in your company.
Even though you're a grouch.
I still have this shotgun,
woman, don't tempt me.
[chuckles]
[rock song playing]
[phone buzzing]
Da?
No.
No.
Okay.
He says there is unfortunate
traffic on the way to castle,
so we should take
alternative route.
[suspenseful music playing]
There you go, idiot.
[cat meows]
[groans]
[whispers] That's
a shapeshifter.
Calls himself Clayface.
He's dangerous.
We have to sneak out.
- What's up, Alexi?
- Hmm?
This isn't
We're leaving the city.
The castle is that way.
Oh! It seems roundabout,
but it's good shortcut.
What the hell?
Engine was making funny noise.
Did you hear that? [sputtering]
Did you, huh?
No.
I am afraid I am screwing up.
How do you say?
The The suedinitel?
- How do you
- I think how we say it is,
Keep moving, Alexi!
You want me to permanently
damage vehicle?
Yes!
[Clayface] Ugh!
Turn around! Turn around!
[whispers] Flag.
Gotcha!
Damn it!
My men have fought
and died for the Princess.
We are not going to
let you kill her now.
Stand down, Bride.
You
What a shame.
I liked that guy.
When I was drunk
In the gutter ♪
Or in the arms of another ♪
Well just you remember ♪
When you were
Left in the darkness ♪
I lit a match for you,
Didn't I? ♪
Just to let you know ♪
[Head Amethyst Knight
through comm]
Da, da, da, da, da ♪
Argh! Ugh.
I'm sorry that
I caused you pain ♪
Girl, you were
Driving me insane ♪
C'est la vie, so long ♪
You know,
I'll always love you ♪
So you go your way
I'll go mine ♪
Those wedding bells
will never chime ♪
Argh!
But still,
I'll always love you ♪
So long ♪
[grunts]
Argh!
[yells]
[laughs]
[screams]
[groaning]
[strained, in English] Please,
please don't.
[driver screams in pain]
[siren wailing]
[Weasel grumbles]
[siren wailing]
[breathing heavily]
[whispers] Nina? Phosphorus?
Damn it!
[coughs, groans]
Hold on, Flag.
Hold on!
Don't die!
Because I have so many
questions before you do.
Did The Bride ever mention me?
[Flag coughs]
Is that a yes?
In your estimation,
did she say my name fondly?
[coughing]
[Frankenstein whines] Flag!
[groans, coughs]
[strained] Tell The Bride
the truth.
You
[groans weakly]
[Bogdana] Please, Eric.
Reconsider this.
[Frankenstein] I have stayed
longer than intended.
- I have to find my Bride.
- [Bogdana sobbing]
Our sole purpose
is to be together.
She tried to kill you.
She does not love you.
Ah, she was being
flirtatious and coy.
There are complex mating
rituals between humans
you don't understand, Bogdana.
No one loves a woman
who makes things too easy.
She does not love you.
Why can you not face this?
Um
No.
Why did you lock Ivan outside?
Because I'm uncertain
he would understand.
Understand what?
Please, Eric.
Don't leave.
I don't want to be alone.
[sobbing]
I would never let you be alone,
Bogdana.
[Frankenstein groans]
I wouldn't want to live ♪
In a world without grudges ♪
Sergei?
[in Pokolistani]
I'll be sitting in the bar
There, drinking ♪
[Ivan whimpers]
Introduce yourself ♪
Jesus I'm jumpy just relax
You dumb motherfucker ♪
It's so hard to keep quiet
In these times ♪
For the longest time
There's been a thought ♪
In the back of my mind which
Cannot help but bring ruin ♪
It's been one perfect crime,
All my life ♪
Oh, until tonight ♪
You and I,
we have lots in common ♪
We met at some party
Or at the bar ♪
It was one of those nights
When everything ♪
Seems like a good idea ♪
One of those night's when
Every drink was free ♪
And it was
One perfect crime ♪
All my life ♪
Oh, until tonight ♪