Cupid (2009) s01e05 Episode Script
Shipping Out
Peaches? And then you woke up? Yeah.
I mean, at least it was one of the last violence ones.
I'm just such a coward.
Dr.
McCrae You've done two tours of duty in Iraq.
and nothing you are going trough, the survival guilt, the grieve, the loss, the nightmares makes you any less brave.
Brave? A brave man would have send this letters.
I think writting those letters was more important than sending them.
They reminded you that there was life outside the war.
And you are free to live that life now.
You need to try and move on.
Yeah.
- What are you doing? - Moving on.
You can't really light symbolic fires here.
Trevor, have you seen the dogs in What are you doing? Nothing.
Reading.
I found these letters written by this soldier.
Are you crying? No.
I might have yawned.
- Into some tissue.
- You know, some people sneeze, Felix.
Yeah, and some people read letters and cry on their roommate's dogs and listen to soft rock 87.
Why is a soldier writing you letters? They're not to me.
There's this girl that he loves, but he doesn't know he loves her, because he doesn't realize it until he's in the middle of this war.
And the only thing that keeps him going are his memories of his beloved Peaches.
Don't worry, Joe.
I'll get your Peaches for you, pal.
I'll get your peaches! SubtÃtulos por: Cupid Traductores: irisalicante, Aremsi, Seta, Syd15 Revisor: Syd15 So this girl that you're trying to reunite with soldier boy is "peaches" her stripper name? That's Joe's nickname for her.
Her name is Robin Peachtree.
They were next-door neighbors in high school.
They'd shoot hoops in the driveway, 'cause he was crazy about her.
Joe worked up his nerve, asked peaches to the homecoming dance.
And she says "yes," and then he finds out it's just because of a bet she made with the popular kids.
No.
She said "yes," and then the army restationed Joe's dad to New Jersey.
They left Baton Rouge two days later.
- Never got to go to the dance.
- No makeover dance montage.
Nope.
They lost touch.
Later, Joe gets sent to Iraq.
All of a sudden he's in the middle of this war, bullets whizzing by.
Guess who he thinks about.
Jane Russell.
Betty Grable.
- Robin Peachtree.
- Right.
This girl he hadn't seen or talked to in years.
When his life was on the line, that's who he thought about.
He writes her these letters that he never sends.
Instead he gave them to you.
Yeah, well, sort of.
He was throwing them out, and I sort of recycled them.
I got 100 matches to make.
This, mi amigo, is low-hanging fruit.
It's a federal offense to read other people's mail.
Amigo.
Like that applies to me.
If you're driving through Baton Rouge, be sure to pull over at Robin's nest.
Owner Robin Peachtree, 26.
That's the right age.
Why would Cupid need magic arrows when he's got google? Don't miss the crab cornbread fritters.
Robin's nest-cajun cookin' and caterin' company.
She does catering.
Anything I do to try to get her attention uh, backfires.
You have to be smart about your romantic pursuits.
If you feel the need to scheme to get someone's attention, chances are you're overreaching.
Exactly.
So there's this dance that we're chaperoning, and I was thinking that my safest bet was to bring a hot date, convince her that I am a commodity.
Were you listening to me at all? I was.
Couldn't agree less.
You, however, Sir kindred, simpatico, paisan.
Trevor, do you have a question? Suggestion? Yes, I do, Thank you for asking.
Maybe more singles' group festivities, less self-help talkie talk.
This thing you call "talkie talk" is what this group is for, Trevor.
Currently, yes.
It's for listening to you talk while scanning the room for somebody to sleep with.
People come here for advice, to commiserate, share stories.
In bed, with someone they met at singles' group.
That's not true.
People come here because you've conveniently wrangled a collection of local availables into a group.
That's why you guys are here, right? Right.
So I propose a party.
- Do you mind? - No.
Go ahead.
All in favor of a party, pony up some cash.
So if I'm reading this correctly, this is something the group would enjoy? You know what? Maybe it is time to take our new skill set out into the field.
I'll bring cupcakes.
You're not allowed to plan it.
You just have to show up.
Small problem with the party.
- Small problem with my assistant.
Josie? - She might be in the bathroom.
As in, you waited for her to take a bathroom break so you could barge in here? And interrupt your important to go salad? Yes.
Now about the party.
I thought I wasn't supposed to worry about the party.
And you don't have to worry.
You just have to donate a little.
- For the caterer.
We're short.
- How short? - A plane ticket.
- What? The caterer lives in Baton Rouge, - but I found a cheap flight.
- I think we're done here.
What? No, come on.
Look, look, just hear me out, okay? Look, even with the plane ticket, it's still cheaper to use a caterer from Baton Rouge - than one in New York.
- I wanted to serve cupcakes.
- Cupcakes don't go with the theme.
- There's a theme now? Of course there's a theme.
Josie, next time Trevor's in here, no bathroom breaks.
- Mardi Gras! - Excuse me? That's the theme.
So clearly, we need a cajun caterer.
And I know a great one.
Great girl, great smile, great crab cornbread fritters.
You know this woman? I do, and she's in very high demand.
Look, it wouldn't be a proper Mardi Gras party without her.
Okay.
I'll cover the cost of flying in the caterer.
Cool.
This is gonna be great.
You won't regret it.
- There are caterers in New York.
- I know, but I think this caterer might be the clue to Trevor's real identity.
She's the first person he's ever mentioned from his past who wasn't a greek god.
And I read about your cornbread fritters in the "Roadside diner's guide.
" I would love to help you with your New York city Mardi Gras party, Mr.
Pierce, but Brad Pitt's already hired me to peel him a grape on a rocket ship, tomorrow's that day.
- J.
T, I know it's you.
- Tell you what, when an overnight delivery guy shows up at your place with a ticket, will you get on that plane? I've been in the city for 20 minutes, and I've already seen two guys holding hands and the diner from "Seinfeld".
Well yeah, catch a matinee of "Les mis," and you'll have your New York city bingo card filled out.
What is this place? Oh, this is where the party will be.
You've hired me to cook for a party in a porno house.
What is wrong with you blue states? No, no, no.
It used to be a porno theater, but it's been converted into a bar.
Right this way.
I took the liberty of checking you into your room.
I'm from Louisiana not a cave.
I can see that this is an apartment.
Oh, to the rest of the world.
But to you, this is a full-service hotel.
See, you got your little mints, fresh towels, fresh flowers.
- This is Felix, the concierge.
- I'm not a concierge.
Are you going to try and make me a sex slave? Let's see where the day takes us.
'Couse I brought all my good cooking knives, - and my key chain is a rape whistle.
- I promise you'll be safe here.
- Is New York always so cold? - We got hot and muggy if you stick around.
Okay, who's ready to cook? I need a bowl of jambalaya to go.
Coming right up.
I don't know if it's okay for you to just come here to eat lunch.
A person should eat in a serene, familiar setting, surrounded by beauty.
Is that jambalaya? Why?, yes, it is.
Do you like jambalaya? I lived in Louisiana for a couple years, so, you know yeah.
God.
That smells like the real deal.
You have to try it.
In fact, I think I have an extra spoon.
Man.
Damn.
That is good.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to find good cajun food in this city? I'm sorry, but today's the day that I roll a guy for a bowl of jambalaya.
You don't have to roll me.
I know where you can find more.
You know what this is? It's a hurricane with your name on it.
- How much money was in that hat? - Enough.
Cajun crab cakes? They rock.
I am anxious to meet this caterer I paid for.
- Which way is the kitchen? - Through those doors.
So can you cover my shift on Friday? I got Madonna tickets.
- Perhaps, rabbit, perhaps.
- I really want to see her, Trevor, and I've already asked everybody else.
It's either you or I fake a health code violation and get this place shut down.
You know, I think maybe we can work out a deal.
Yes! I am so pleased that you like the crab cakes.
I mean, it is fun cooking for people who don't eat this kind of food every day.
I'm just so glad that Trevor got in touch with me.
Yeah, about that, when did you two meet, - you and Trevor? - This morning at the airport.
- No, no, I mean originally.
- Oh, that's the first time I ever met him, - but he just seems really nice, though.
- You mean you didn't know him before? Maybe his family knew your family and Not that I know of.
No, but he's just been great.
Now, I'm sorry.
I just I gotta concentrate.
This shrimp étoufée ain't going whisk itself.
Trevor.
Why did you choose Robin to cater the Check it out.
What am I looking at? The human condition.
Yes, of course, the human condition there it is in all its glory.
You know, it's a proven fact that the way you dance is the way you make love.
Is that so? Maybe you're a Jerry Lewis, you know, like one of those all-over-the-place guys.
Or maybe you're the dealer, you know, where you're, like, dealing it out, dealing it out.
You know? Or maybe you're the space ghost.
And then there's the punisher.
- I don't dance, so - My theory holds up.
- Fast dance, that is.
- Why? Because I am part of the unlucky percentage of the population that looks like an idiot - when fast dancing.
- What makes you think you can't dance? I thought I was an adequate dancer until I saw the video from my freshman homecoming, - my one and only high school dance.
- Wait a minute.
You never went to another dance after that? You know, young girls are so touchy about being the object of scorn and ridicule.
The key to dancing is letting yourself go.
You know? Getting out of your own head.
That's what I've been told.
So why did you tell me you know Robin? Dr.
McCrae.
Joe what are you doing here? Trevor here invited me.
Of course he did.
It turns out we're both huge fans of cajun food.
I'm sorry.
I didn't realize this was a party for your singles' group.
Although I did meet Trevor in your outer office, so I guess that kinda makes sense.
Does it? Because I'm still confused.
Things should start to get clearer for you any minute now.
Crawfish empanada, anybody? Peaches! Joe.
This is Peaches.
Our caterer is Peaches.
Oh, no, not anymore.
Joe was the only person who ever called me that.
We we were in high school together.
We haven't seen each other in years.
That is such a crazy coincidence.
Is it a coincidence? Well, I might be somewhat responsible.
I heard that Robin was a great cajun chef, found out Joe loved cajun You know what? Who cares how it happened? It's fate.
Maybe fate and I should discuss this in the alley.
If you and I are gonna catfight, you better take off your earrings.
I don't know how you arranged this, - but you are playing with fire.
- Love is fire.
Love is passion.
That's what I play with.
It's in my job description.
Well, my job description is to try and help my patients and to keep them from harming themselves or others, and you are setting Robin and Joe up for a world of hurt.
This relationship is doomed.
Are you sure you're not greek? 'Cause you're very dramatic.
You are not a god.
You're not omniscient.
You stole Joe's file, or you spied on my sessions with him or something, and whatever you did, you did a terrible thing, because he is not able he's not in the position to start anything now.
And he and Robin will pay, and I will have to pick up the pieces.
Yep.
I did a terrible thing.
I can't do this.
I can't do this.
Joe.
And now I guess it's your turn to gloat.
You know what? Robin, don't worry.
I'm gonna fix this.
No.
Just let him go.
He's like the opposite of a superhero.
It's weird.
In all of my, "seeing Joe Adams again" fantasies, the kiss was exactly like that.
I should really go change my shirt.
I don't want to walk around your party looking like a baby threw up on me.
Joe! Hey, where are you going? Hey, come on! This is your golden opportunity! The girl you pined for, the girl you wrote to when you were in Iraq.
Did Dr.
McCrae tell you about that? Because that is completely unprofessional.
Look, the truth is, I was in that waiting room when you threw those letters out, and so I, you know, borrowed them.
And I tracked down Peaches, and I arranged this whole reunion so you two could see each other again.
That was me.
Are you crazy? Not at all.
I'm colorful.
You pulled half-soaked, half-burnt letters out of the trash and read them.
that's that's not crazy? Eccentric, maybe.
Hey, look, I loved those letters, and I really think peaches will, too.
Stop calling her "Peaches.
" You didn't give her those letters, did you? I did not.
I would never but but what? Your other personality would? I might have left them on her bed, thinking that you and peach I mean, Robin, might be in that bed tonight and that it might be the perfect ending - to a perfect night.
- Robin can't see those letters.
She'll think I'm some crazy stalker.
It's bad enough that I kissed her! Hey, now, look, I saw that kiss.
There was nothing bad about the kissing.
It was the bolting that was the problem.
I wanted to stay.
I Let's race back, all right? We can tell robin that you ran out to put money in the meter.
I could sell it.
- Just whatever I say, keep nodding.
- I can't see peaches again.
- Why not? - It's complicated, all right? Life is complicated.
Love is simple.
I had a plan, all right? And this is not in the plan.
I want those letters back.
Come.
That's the crazy thing about love even when it's impractical, even when it's inconveni You weren't supposed to see those.
I'm so glad that I did.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm coming.
Hello? Trevor, do you know where Joe is? Claire bear! Top of the morning.
- Joe Adams.
Do you have him? - Happy to report that Joe and Robin are currently behind closed doors.
- Joe skipped his session today.
- Whatever's ailing Joe, I predict by the time my plan is fully executed, he'll be cured.
You're out of your element here in a big way.
Will you have him call me, please? I will.
In fact, I'm desperate for a fresh pair of skivvies.
so I'll have to venture in there, anyway.
Promise me this is the last status report I'll ever receive regarding your underwear.
Again.
Show me what you got, dude.
Goes left - Right and oh! no! - Come on, big boy, do it again! - I wanna see you do that again.
- You want it? You want it? Tell me you want it.
Tell me you want it! Give it to me! Give it to me! Give it to me! Come on, down here.
Down here.
What? why don't you try and come and get it? Come on.
Give it to me, Give it to me! No, no, i'll give it to you if you work for it.
- I want you to work for it.
- All right, cover up, kids.
I gotta come in.
I need supplies.
Okay, here I come.
Three, two, one.
And I'm opening the door.
Don't mind me.
As you were.
Trevor? You can open your eyes.
You're clothed and out of bed.
And you slept on the floor? You know, I was totally cool with you guys using my bed.
Maybe I wasn't clear.
- I slept in the bed.
- I took the floor.
You two haven't, uh We have to get reacquainted.
I mean, we haven't even had a real date yet.
Southerners.
Well, okay, you two get reacquainted.
I got something in mind for the real date.
Joe Joe.
What's wrong? Peaches! Yes, Joe? Would you please look in my bag, and see if I have an extra t-shirt? Rob.
.
Wait, I can explain.
I don't need you to explain.
You booked a flight to Winnipeg tomorrow, and you didn't think that there was any reason that you should maybe mention that fact Joe? I thought that this might be going somewhere.
I didn't realize that I was just your weekender.
Taxi! I couldn't tell you, all right? I didn't want you to think that I was a coward.
- I just I can't go back.
- Go back where? Iraq.
I've been stop-lossed.
I'm supposed to report tomorrow.
You're deserting? This moment, right now this is why I couldn't tell you.
I couldn't bear to see your reaction.
You're gonna catch your death.
This war has ruined me.
I close my eyes and I'm back there.
I'm driving in after some suicide bomber has blown himself up in some crowded market.
I'm watching, helpless, while some wounded buddy is calling out to his wife.
I can't do it again.
I can't go back You don't owe me an explanation.
I read your letters.
Kids? I don't know how you guys do it in cajun country, but up here in the big city, we require shoes and shirt.
What? - She's having lunch right now.
- Oh, she doesn't mind.
Why didn't you tell me Joe's fleeing the country? Because there's this thing called doctor-client privilege.
- Sorry, Dr.
McCrae.
- There's not much you could've done.
just give me a minute with Trevor, please.
While we're on the topic of disclosure, why didn't you mention that you were having me fly Joe's high school girlfriend in so you could play god? I am a god, okay? If I have to fill you in every time I do something godlike, I'll never get anything done.
"Oh, hi, Claire? Yeah.
I'm brushing my teeth.
" "Oh, hi, Claire.
Yeah, I'm making some toast.
" "Claire? Yeah, I'm doing some plane-shifting.
" You see what I mean? I tried to make it perfectly clear that the relationship was doomed.
You had to open Pandora's box.
And, please, don't tell me Pandora had a great rack.
Still does.
God! I came so close.
I was gonna seal the deal on the match tonight.
- I had this big date planned.
- I see.
You're the victim here, not Joe, not Robin you.
I did give up my bedroom.
What was the big date? I was gonna give them the homecoming dance they never got.
Look at you.
Mercenary, but sweet.
I think you owe them this date.
And frankly, it might provide some closure, so they don't have to spend another ten years wondering, "What if?" I don't get credit for closure.
I get credit for love.
Well, maybe just this once it's not about your tally.
Maybe it's about doing something nice for two people whose relationship never had a chance.
You think this is a good idea, huh? I do.
I think it could be very beneficial.
- This makes this easier.
- Makes what easier? We need to borrow your car.
Yes, the 10:00 a.
m.
flight tomorrow to Baton Rouge, leaving from New York.
Thank you so much.
Well, at least I'll get to see you off - before I head to Canada.
- Yeah.
Oh.
I wish you were coming with me.
You know, the annual peachtree sloshball grudge match is next weekend.
We could use a ringer.
Sloshball? Softball.
But uncle Ronnie puts kegs at first base and third, too.
By the fourth inning, daddy is three sheets gone, and he's shouting about how the south is gonna rise again, and, uh, mama and aunt Sue are disparaging each other's pies.
It's just anarchy.
All right.
Put on your rally caps, kids.
We're off to experience a rite of passage.
There's your corsage.
Okay, mom, when you pick us up, don't come out in front.
- You'll embarrass us.
Pick us up out back.
- Did you not see the dress? I can't believe we finally get to go to our homecoming dance.
Hi.
I'm Tracy.
I'm with the homecoming committee.
Can I see your student I.
Ds? Oh, maybe you left them in your time machine.
Tracy, it's okay.
It's okay.
These are my guests.
This is really so generous of you, Carl.
Oh.
Hardly.
Thank you.
Sweet.
Get down.
Is that one of the waitresses from the bar? That would be Lita, the hot chick beard.
And look, there's our mark.
Watch as she totally reappraises our mild-mannered history teacher.
You're unbelievable.
You had to try and make a match tonight, huh? Hardly trying.
Look, no hands.
You know, Carl's been coming to my group for years.
He hatches these elaborate schemes out of avoidance, because he can't just walk up to a woman and ask her out.
I'll make that happen tonight.
We're just priming the pump.
Man, maybe I should spend more time in high schools.
You see, you missed all those high school socials 'cause you were worried about dancing.
You could've been making out the whole time.
You know how to do that, don't you? All right, let's get everybody on the dance floor.
Just slide over a little bit.
There you go.
That's perfect.
Big smile.
Nice.
- Oh, one more, one more.
- Hey, maybe we should take a picture.
No.
Come with me.
"Fearless heart"? This is a country-western song.
Yes, it is.
Does this look like a country-western crowd to you? Flip it over.
I stand corrected.
It's like I'm on the set of "Hee Haw".
They'll love it.
"Fearless heart".
Really? You think that's the best choice? I mean, isn't this relationship doomed because Joe's afraid of going back to Iraq? I mean, I don't know.
If I'm picking the song, I'm maybe choosing something that doesn't underline the fact that Joe's going awol.
Joe told me he loves this song.
And by the way, he was awarded the distinguished service cross.
Did you know that? He's an unbelievably brave man.
They sent him to me because he hasn't been able to leave what he's seen behind.
He's haunted, but he's not a coward.
and they send him to me, and then they doesn't listen to my recommendation.
- Still - Well, there's all kinds of bravery, Trevor.
With what Joe experienced over there, it's my belief that every morning he gets up and faces the day is an act of bravery.
And there's this other guy, I believe, experienced a tragedy in his past, and he can't even manage that much.
He chooses to cope by inventing a fictional character and hiding behind a false reality.
What? You mean, like, he pretends to be Captain America or some Oh Wait a minute.
I see.
- You're talking about me.
- Nothing gets past you, huh? You know, that's funny.
I'm being called a chicken by a woman who won't fast dance.
Because she was laughed at 15 years ago.
Don't hate me because I'm a capitalist.
Listen.
Yes! - Have you guys seen Claire? - She's over there.
Ladies and gentlemen, we are ready to begin boarding for flight It's the first of many.
Do not open this until you get on the plane, okay? Come here.
If you have any questions about our flight today, please don't hesitate to ask one of our flight attendants.
Thank you.
Wait.
No.
Wait.
- Don't close the door! - Miss.
- Wait! Please don't close the door! - Excuse me, miss! Trevor, Trevor, are you in there? Are you up? Joe's reporting for duty.
He isn't going to canada.
He's going to Iraq.
I can't let him do this.
Not for me.
If anything ever happened to him, I could not forgive myself.
We have to find him.
Come on.
Let's go! - Go.
Go where? - I don't know.
But now I have to talk to him.
Okay, okay, let me think.
Maybe there's something about where Joe's reporting in his file.
We'll go to Claire's office.
- She works on a sunday? - No, so we're in luck.
Could I ask what you're doing in here? Thank you for coming so quickly.
I called as soon as I saw this mess.
I mean, it seems like whoever broke in here went through all these files, which is very upsetting to me, because, you know, I'm a patient of Dr.
McCrae's.
I mean, I'm paranoid enough is it is.
- You're going to shoot me, aren't you? - I found his file! Your file, Joe.
Here is your file.
Thank you.
I was down in administration, and I got a call Well, well, well.
This man claims that he's a patient of your.
This man is, in fact, my patient, and this woman is my caterer.
I'll take it from here.
Thank you.
- I can explain.
- I don't want to hear it.
- Joe's going to Iraq.
- But he's not ready.
That's why I have to stop him.
Is there anything in here that says where he's reporting? No, there's not, Trevor.
There's just some paperwork saying that, in my professional opinion, Joe is unfit to return to Iraq.
Something his commanding officer promptly disregarded.
So I know his commanding officer.
I don't like him, but I know him.
We'll get the info on the way.
Joe Adams? Do you know Joe Adams? No? - Excuse me.
- Fellas.
Where's Joe? - Joe Adams.
Joe Adams.
- Joe Adams, is he in your company? - Joe Adams.
Do you know Joe Adams? - No.
- Anybody know who's in charge here? - Joe Adams.
Do you know who Joe Adams is? Has anybody seen Joe Adams? Joe Adams.
Is he in your company? No.
Do you have any idea where Joe Adams is? Joe! Peaches? You're supposed to be on a plane.
You're supposed to be on your way to Winnipeg.
Okay, look, there's still time.
You can't do this.
Not for me.
I mean, we have had two nights together, and you cannot make this kind of decision based on that.
Look, I've I've managed to hide all of my unattractive qualities.
I mean, I collect hummel figurines.
I knit outfits for my pug.
I I've seen "high school musical," like, 30 times.
I plan to see it 30 more.
I'm going to iraq, because if I do, it means that maybe someday I'll have the chance to come back and learn all about the nightmare that is you.
And if I don't go, I'll never get that chance.
They might need a cajun restaurant in Winnipeg.
Oh, come on.
You hate the cold.
I might get used to it.
You know that great, big family that you love so much? I couldn't ask you to leave them, and I wouldn't want to.
I want to do these 12 months.
And keep my head down, and for the first time, feel like that I have somewhere to come home to.
I want to go to church with your mom.
I want to sit on your front porch swing and let the past slip away and start living in the present.
I guess your big date did seal the deal.
He's going to war because of me.
He's going to war because of love.
Like I said.
I mean, at least it was one of the last violence ones.
I'm just such a coward.
Dr.
McCrae You've done two tours of duty in Iraq.
and nothing you are going trough, the survival guilt, the grieve, the loss, the nightmares makes you any less brave.
Brave? A brave man would have send this letters.
I think writting those letters was more important than sending them.
They reminded you that there was life outside the war.
And you are free to live that life now.
You need to try and move on.
Yeah.
- What are you doing? - Moving on.
You can't really light symbolic fires here.
Trevor, have you seen the dogs in What are you doing? Nothing.
Reading.
I found these letters written by this soldier.
Are you crying? No.
I might have yawned.
- Into some tissue.
- You know, some people sneeze, Felix.
Yeah, and some people read letters and cry on their roommate's dogs and listen to soft rock 87.
Why is a soldier writing you letters? They're not to me.
There's this girl that he loves, but he doesn't know he loves her, because he doesn't realize it until he's in the middle of this war.
And the only thing that keeps him going are his memories of his beloved Peaches.
Don't worry, Joe.
I'll get your Peaches for you, pal.
I'll get your peaches! SubtÃtulos por: Cupid Traductores: irisalicante, Aremsi, Seta, Syd15 Revisor: Syd15 So this girl that you're trying to reunite with soldier boy is "peaches" her stripper name? That's Joe's nickname for her.
Her name is Robin Peachtree.
They were next-door neighbors in high school.
They'd shoot hoops in the driveway, 'cause he was crazy about her.
Joe worked up his nerve, asked peaches to the homecoming dance.
And she says "yes," and then he finds out it's just because of a bet she made with the popular kids.
No.
She said "yes," and then the army restationed Joe's dad to New Jersey.
They left Baton Rouge two days later.
- Never got to go to the dance.
- No makeover dance montage.
Nope.
They lost touch.
Later, Joe gets sent to Iraq.
All of a sudden he's in the middle of this war, bullets whizzing by.
Guess who he thinks about.
Jane Russell.
Betty Grable.
- Robin Peachtree.
- Right.
This girl he hadn't seen or talked to in years.
When his life was on the line, that's who he thought about.
He writes her these letters that he never sends.
Instead he gave them to you.
Yeah, well, sort of.
He was throwing them out, and I sort of recycled them.
I got 100 matches to make.
This, mi amigo, is low-hanging fruit.
It's a federal offense to read other people's mail.
Amigo.
Like that applies to me.
If you're driving through Baton Rouge, be sure to pull over at Robin's nest.
Owner Robin Peachtree, 26.
That's the right age.
Why would Cupid need magic arrows when he's got google? Don't miss the crab cornbread fritters.
Robin's nest-cajun cookin' and caterin' company.
She does catering.
Anything I do to try to get her attention uh, backfires.
You have to be smart about your romantic pursuits.
If you feel the need to scheme to get someone's attention, chances are you're overreaching.
Exactly.
So there's this dance that we're chaperoning, and I was thinking that my safest bet was to bring a hot date, convince her that I am a commodity.
Were you listening to me at all? I was.
Couldn't agree less.
You, however, Sir kindred, simpatico, paisan.
Trevor, do you have a question? Suggestion? Yes, I do, Thank you for asking.
Maybe more singles' group festivities, less self-help talkie talk.
This thing you call "talkie talk" is what this group is for, Trevor.
Currently, yes.
It's for listening to you talk while scanning the room for somebody to sleep with.
People come here for advice, to commiserate, share stories.
In bed, with someone they met at singles' group.
That's not true.
People come here because you've conveniently wrangled a collection of local availables into a group.
That's why you guys are here, right? Right.
So I propose a party.
- Do you mind? - No.
Go ahead.
All in favor of a party, pony up some cash.
So if I'm reading this correctly, this is something the group would enjoy? You know what? Maybe it is time to take our new skill set out into the field.
I'll bring cupcakes.
You're not allowed to plan it.
You just have to show up.
Small problem with the party.
- Small problem with my assistant.
Josie? - She might be in the bathroom.
As in, you waited for her to take a bathroom break so you could barge in here? And interrupt your important to go salad? Yes.
Now about the party.
I thought I wasn't supposed to worry about the party.
And you don't have to worry.
You just have to donate a little.
- For the caterer.
We're short.
- How short? - A plane ticket.
- What? The caterer lives in Baton Rouge, - but I found a cheap flight.
- I think we're done here.
What? No, come on.
Look, look, just hear me out, okay? Look, even with the plane ticket, it's still cheaper to use a caterer from Baton Rouge - than one in New York.
- I wanted to serve cupcakes.
- Cupcakes don't go with the theme.
- There's a theme now? Of course there's a theme.
Josie, next time Trevor's in here, no bathroom breaks.
- Mardi Gras! - Excuse me? That's the theme.
So clearly, we need a cajun caterer.
And I know a great one.
Great girl, great smile, great crab cornbread fritters.
You know this woman? I do, and she's in very high demand.
Look, it wouldn't be a proper Mardi Gras party without her.
Okay.
I'll cover the cost of flying in the caterer.
Cool.
This is gonna be great.
You won't regret it.
- There are caterers in New York.
- I know, but I think this caterer might be the clue to Trevor's real identity.
She's the first person he's ever mentioned from his past who wasn't a greek god.
And I read about your cornbread fritters in the "Roadside diner's guide.
" I would love to help you with your New York city Mardi Gras party, Mr.
Pierce, but Brad Pitt's already hired me to peel him a grape on a rocket ship, tomorrow's that day.
- J.
T, I know it's you.
- Tell you what, when an overnight delivery guy shows up at your place with a ticket, will you get on that plane? I've been in the city for 20 minutes, and I've already seen two guys holding hands and the diner from "Seinfeld".
Well yeah, catch a matinee of "Les mis," and you'll have your New York city bingo card filled out.
What is this place? Oh, this is where the party will be.
You've hired me to cook for a party in a porno house.
What is wrong with you blue states? No, no, no.
It used to be a porno theater, but it's been converted into a bar.
Right this way.
I took the liberty of checking you into your room.
I'm from Louisiana not a cave.
I can see that this is an apartment.
Oh, to the rest of the world.
But to you, this is a full-service hotel.
See, you got your little mints, fresh towels, fresh flowers.
- This is Felix, the concierge.
- I'm not a concierge.
Are you going to try and make me a sex slave? Let's see where the day takes us.
'Couse I brought all my good cooking knives, - and my key chain is a rape whistle.
- I promise you'll be safe here.
- Is New York always so cold? - We got hot and muggy if you stick around.
Okay, who's ready to cook? I need a bowl of jambalaya to go.
Coming right up.
I don't know if it's okay for you to just come here to eat lunch.
A person should eat in a serene, familiar setting, surrounded by beauty.
Is that jambalaya? Why?, yes, it is.
Do you like jambalaya? I lived in Louisiana for a couple years, so, you know yeah.
God.
That smells like the real deal.
You have to try it.
In fact, I think I have an extra spoon.
Man.
Damn.
That is good.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to find good cajun food in this city? I'm sorry, but today's the day that I roll a guy for a bowl of jambalaya.
You don't have to roll me.
I know where you can find more.
You know what this is? It's a hurricane with your name on it.
- How much money was in that hat? - Enough.
Cajun crab cakes? They rock.
I am anxious to meet this caterer I paid for.
- Which way is the kitchen? - Through those doors.
So can you cover my shift on Friday? I got Madonna tickets.
- Perhaps, rabbit, perhaps.
- I really want to see her, Trevor, and I've already asked everybody else.
It's either you or I fake a health code violation and get this place shut down.
You know, I think maybe we can work out a deal.
Yes! I am so pleased that you like the crab cakes.
I mean, it is fun cooking for people who don't eat this kind of food every day.
I'm just so glad that Trevor got in touch with me.
Yeah, about that, when did you two meet, - you and Trevor? - This morning at the airport.
- No, no, I mean originally.
- Oh, that's the first time I ever met him, - but he just seems really nice, though.
- You mean you didn't know him before? Maybe his family knew your family and Not that I know of.
No, but he's just been great.
Now, I'm sorry.
I just I gotta concentrate.
This shrimp étoufée ain't going whisk itself.
Trevor.
Why did you choose Robin to cater the Check it out.
What am I looking at? The human condition.
Yes, of course, the human condition there it is in all its glory.
You know, it's a proven fact that the way you dance is the way you make love.
Is that so? Maybe you're a Jerry Lewis, you know, like one of those all-over-the-place guys.
Or maybe you're the dealer, you know, where you're, like, dealing it out, dealing it out.
You know? Or maybe you're the space ghost.
And then there's the punisher.
- I don't dance, so - My theory holds up.
- Fast dance, that is.
- Why? Because I am part of the unlucky percentage of the population that looks like an idiot - when fast dancing.
- What makes you think you can't dance? I thought I was an adequate dancer until I saw the video from my freshman homecoming, - my one and only high school dance.
- Wait a minute.
You never went to another dance after that? You know, young girls are so touchy about being the object of scorn and ridicule.
The key to dancing is letting yourself go.
You know? Getting out of your own head.
That's what I've been told.
So why did you tell me you know Robin? Dr.
McCrae.
Joe what are you doing here? Trevor here invited me.
Of course he did.
It turns out we're both huge fans of cajun food.
I'm sorry.
I didn't realize this was a party for your singles' group.
Although I did meet Trevor in your outer office, so I guess that kinda makes sense.
Does it? Because I'm still confused.
Things should start to get clearer for you any minute now.
Crawfish empanada, anybody? Peaches! Joe.
This is Peaches.
Our caterer is Peaches.
Oh, no, not anymore.
Joe was the only person who ever called me that.
We we were in high school together.
We haven't seen each other in years.
That is such a crazy coincidence.
Is it a coincidence? Well, I might be somewhat responsible.
I heard that Robin was a great cajun chef, found out Joe loved cajun You know what? Who cares how it happened? It's fate.
Maybe fate and I should discuss this in the alley.
If you and I are gonna catfight, you better take off your earrings.
I don't know how you arranged this, - but you are playing with fire.
- Love is fire.
Love is passion.
That's what I play with.
It's in my job description.
Well, my job description is to try and help my patients and to keep them from harming themselves or others, and you are setting Robin and Joe up for a world of hurt.
This relationship is doomed.
Are you sure you're not greek? 'Cause you're very dramatic.
You are not a god.
You're not omniscient.
You stole Joe's file, or you spied on my sessions with him or something, and whatever you did, you did a terrible thing, because he is not able he's not in the position to start anything now.
And he and Robin will pay, and I will have to pick up the pieces.
Yep.
I did a terrible thing.
I can't do this.
I can't do this.
Joe.
And now I guess it's your turn to gloat.
You know what? Robin, don't worry.
I'm gonna fix this.
No.
Just let him go.
He's like the opposite of a superhero.
It's weird.
In all of my, "seeing Joe Adams again" fantasies, the kiss was exactly like that.
I should really go change my shirt.
I don't want to walk around your party looking like a baby threw up on me.
Joe! Hey, where are you going? Hey, come on! This is your golden opportunity! The girl you pined for, the girl you wrote to when you were in Iraq.
Did Dr.
McCrae tell you about that? Because that is completely unprofessional.
Look, the truth is, I was in that waiting room when you threw those letters out, and so I, you know, borrowed them.
And I tracked down Peaches, and I arranged this whole reunion so you two could see each other again.
That was me.
Are you crazy? Not at all.
I'm colorful.
You pulled half-soaked, half-burnt letters out of the trash and read them.
that's that's not crazy? Eccentric, maybe.
Hey, look, I loved those letters, and I really think peaches will, too.
Stop calling her "Peaches.
" You didn't give her those letters, did you? I did not.
I would never but but what? Your other personality would? I might have left them on her bed, thinking that you and peach I mean, Robin, might be in that bed tonight and that it might be the perfect ending - to a perfect night.
- Robin can't see those letters.
She'll think I'm some crazy stalker.
It's bad enough that I kissed her! Hey, now, look, I saw that kiss.
There was nothing bad about the kissing.
It was the bolting that was the problem.
I wanted to stay.
I Let's race back, all right? We can tell robin that you ran out to put money in the meter.
I could sell it.
- Just whatever I say, keep nodding.
- I can't see peaches again.
- Why not? - It's complicated, all right? Life is complicated.
Love is simple.
I had a plan, all right? And this is not in the plan.
I want those letters back.
Come.
That's the crazy thing about love even when it's impractical, even when it's inconveni You weren't supposed to see those.
I'm so glad that I did.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm coming.
Hello? Trevor, do you know where Joe is? Claire bear! Top of the morning.
- Joe Adams.
Do you have him? - Happy to report that Joe and Robin are currently behind closed doors.
- Joe skipped his session today.
- Whatever's ailing Joe, I predict by the time my plan is fully executed, he'll be cured.
You're out of your element here in a big way.
Will you have him call me, please? I will.
In fact, I'm desperate for a fresh pair of skivvies.
so I'll have to venture in there, anyway.
Promise me this is the last status report I'll ever receive regarding your underwear.
Again.
Show me what you got, dude.
Goes left - Right and oh! no! - Come on, big boy, do it again! - I wanna see you do that again.
- You want it? You want it? Tell me you want it.
Tell me you want it! Give it to me! Give it to me! Give it to me! Come on, down here.
Down here.
What? why don't you try and come and get it? Come on.
Give it to me, Give it to me! No, no, i'll give it to you if you work for it.
- I want you to work for it.
- All right, cover up, kids.
I gotta come in.
I need supplies.
Okay, here I come.
Three, two, one.
And I'm opening the door.
Don't mind me.
As you were.
Trevor? You can open your eyes.
You're clothed and out of bed.
And you slept on the floor? You know, I was totally cool with you guys using my bed.
Maybe I wasn't clear.
- I slept in the bed.
- I took the floor.
You two haven't, uh We have to get reacquainted.
I mean, we haven't even had a real date yet.
Southerners.
Well, okay, you two get reacquainted.
I got something in mind for the real date.
Joe Joe.
What's wrong? Peaches! Yes, Joe? Would you please look in my bag, and see if I have an extra t-shirt? Rob.
.
Wait, I can explain.
I don't need you to explain.
You booked a flight to Winnipeg tomorrow, and you didn't think that there was any reason that you should maybe mention that fact Joe? I thought that this might be going somewhere.
I didn't realize that I was just your weekender.
Taxi! I couldn't tell you, all right? I didn't want you to think that I was a coward.
- I just I can't go back.
- Go back where? Iraq.
I've been stop-lossed.
I'm supposed to report tomorrow.
You're deserting? This moment, right now this is why I couldn't tell you.
I couldn't bear to see your reaction.
You're gonna catch your death.
This war has ruined me.
I close my eyes and I'm back there.
I'm driving in after some suicide bomber has blown himself up in some crowded market.
I'm watching, helpless, while some wounded buddy is calling out to his wife.
I can't do it again.
I can't go back You don't owe me an explanation.
I read your letters.
Kids? I don't know how you guys do it in cajun country, but up here in the big city, we require shoes and shirt.
What? - She's having lunch right now.
- Oh, she doesn't mind.
Why didn't you tell me Joe's fleeing the country? Because there's this thing called doctor-client privilege.
- Sorry, Dr.
McCrae.
- There's not much you could've done.
just give me a minute with Trevor, please.
While we're on the topic of disclosure, why didn't you mention that you were having me fly Joe's high school girlfriend in so you could play god? I am a god, okay? If I have to fill you in every time I do something godlike, I'll never get anything done.
"Oh, hi, Claire? Yeah.
I'm brushing my teeth.
" "Oh, hi, Claire.
Yeah, I'm making some toast.
" "Claire? Yeah, I'm doing some plane-shifting.
" You see what I mean? I tried to make it perfectly clear that the relationship was doomed.
You had to open Pandora's box.
And, please, don't tell me Pandora had a great rack.
Still does.
God! I came so close.
I was gonna seal the deal on the match tonight.
- I had this big date planned.
- I see.
You're the victim here, not Joe, not Robin you.
I did give up my bedroom.
What was the big date? I was gonna give them the homecoming dance they never got.
Look at you.
Mercenary, but sweet.
I think you owe them this date.
And frankly, it might provide some closure, so they don't have to spend another ten years wondering, "What if?" I don't get credit for closure.
I get credit for love.
Well, maybe just this once it's not about your tally.
Maybe it's about doing something nice for two people whose relationship never had a chance.
You think this is a good idea, huh? I do.
I think it could be very beneficial.
- This makes this easier.
- Makes what easier? We need to borrow your car.
Yes, the 10:00 a.
m.
flight tomorrow to Baton Rouge, leaving from New York.
Thank you so much.
Well, at least I'll get to see you off - before I head to Canada.
- Yeah.
Oh.
I wish you were coming with me.
You know, the annual peachtree sloshball grudge match is next weekend.
We could use a ringer.
Sloshball? Softball.
But uncle Ronnie puts kegs at first base and third, too.
By the fourth inning, daddy is three sheets gone, and he's shouting about how the south is gonna rise again, and, uh, mama and aunt Sue are disparaging each other's pies.
It's just anarchy.
All right.
Put on your rally caps, kids.
We're off to experience a rite of passage.
There's your corsage.
Okay, mom, when you pick us up, don't come out in front.
- You'll embarrass us.
Pick us up out back.
- Did you not see the dress? I can't believe we finally get to go to our homecoming dance.
Hi.
I'm Tracy.
I'm with the homecoming committee.
Can I see your student I.
Ds? Oh, maybe you left them in your time machine.
Tracy, it's okay.
It's okay.
These are my guests.
This is really so generous of you, Carl.
Oh.
Hardly.
Thank you.
Sweet.
Get down.
Is that one of the waitresses from the bar? That would be Lita, the hot chick beard.
And look, there's our mark.
Watch as she totally reappraises our mild-mannered history teacher.
You're unbelievable.
You had to try and make a match tonight, huh? Hardly trying.
Look, no hands.
You know, Carl's been coming to my group for years.
He hatches these elaborate schemes out of avoidance, because he can't just walk up to a woman and ask her out.
I'll make that happen tonight.
We're just priming the pump.
Man, maybe I should spend more time in high schools.
You see, you missed all those high school socials 'cause you were worried about dancing.
You could've been making out the whole time.
You know how to do that, don't you? All right, let's get everybody on the dance floor.
Just slide over a little bit.
There you go.
That's perfect.
Big smile.
Nice.
- Oh, one more, one more.
- Hey, maybe we should take a picture.
No.
Come with me.
"Fearless heart"? This is a country-western song.
Yes, it is.
Does this look like a country-western crowd to you? Flip it over.
I stand corrected.
It's like I'm on the set of "Hee Haw".
They'll love it.
"Fearless heart".
Really? You think that's the best choice? I mean, isn't this relationship doomed because Joe's afraid of going back to Iraq? I mean, I don't know.
If I'm picking the song, I'm maybe choosing something that doesn't underline the fact that Joe's going awol.
Joe told me he loves this song.
And by the way, he was awarded the distinguished service cross.
Did you know that? He's an unbelievably brave man.
They sent him to me because he hasn't been able to leave what he's seen behind.
He's haunted, but he's not a coward.
and they send him to me, and then they doesn't listen to my recommendation.
- Still - Well, there's all kinds of bravery, Trevor.
With what Joe experienced over there, it's my belief that every morning he gets up and faces the day is an act of bravery.
And there's this other guy, I believe, experienced a tragedy in his past, and he can't even manage that much.
He chooses to cope by inventing a fictional character and hiding behind a false reality.
What? You mean, like, he pretends to be Captain America or some Oh Wait a minute.
I see.
- You're talking about me.
- Nothing gets past you, huh? You know, that's funny.
I'm being called a chicken by a woman who won't fast dance.
Because she was laughed at 15 years ago.
Don't hate me because I'm a capitalist.
Listen.
Yes! - Have you guys seen Claire? - She's over there.
Ladies and gentlemen, we are ready to begin boarding for flight It's the first of many.
Do not open this until you get on the plane, okay? Come here.
If you have any questions about our flight today, please don't hesitate to ask one of our flight attendants.
Thank you.
Wait.
No.
Wait.
- Don't close the door! - Miss.
- Wait! Please don't close the door! - Excuse me, miss! Trevor, Trevor, are you in there? Are you up? Joe's reporting for duty.
He isn't going to canada.
He's going to Iraq.
I can't let him do this.
Not for me.
If anything ever happened to him, I could not forgive myself.
We have to find him.
Come on.
Let's go! - Go.
Go where? - I don't know.
But now I have to talk to him.
Okay, okay, let me think.
Maybe there's something about where Joe's reporting in his file.
We'll go to Claire's office.
- She works on a sunday? - No, so we're in luck.
Could I ask what you're doing in here? Thank you for coming so quickly.
I called as soon as I saw this mess.
I mean, it seems like whoever broke in here went through all these files, which is very upsetting to me, because, you know, I'm a patient of Dr.
McCrae's.
I mean, I'm paranoid enough is it is.
- You're going to shoot me, aren't you? - I found his file! Your file, Joe.
Here is your file.
Thank you.
I was down in administration, and I got a call Well, well, well.
This man claims that he's a patient of your.
This man is, in fact, my patient, and this woman is my caterer.
I'll take it from here.
Thank you.
- I can explain.
- I don't want to hear it.
- Joe's going to Iraq.
- But he's not ready.
That's why I have to stop him.
Is there anything in here that says where he's reporting? No, there's not, Trevor.
There's just some paperwork saying that, in my professional opinion, Joe is unfit to return to Iraq.
Something his commanding officer promptly disregarded.
So I know his commanding officer.
I don't like him, but I know him.
We'll get the info on the way.
Joe Adams? Do you know Joe Adams? No? - Excuse me.
- Fellas.
Where's Joe? - Joe Adams.
Joe Adams.
- Joe Adams, is he in your company? - Joe Adams.
Do you know Joe Adams? - No.
- Anybody know who's in charge here? - Joe Adams.
Do you know who Joe Adams is? Has anybody seen Joe Adams? Joe Adams.
Is he in your company? No.
Do you have any idea where Joe Adams is? Joe! Peaches? You're supposed to be on a plane.
You're supposed to be on your way to Winnipeg.
Okay, look, there's still time.
You can't do this.
Not for me.
I mean, we have had two nights together, and you cannot make this kind of decision based on that.
Look, I've I've managed to hide all of my unattractive qualities.
I mean, I collect hummel figurines.
I knit outfits for my pug.
I I've seen "high school musical," like, 30 times.
I plan to see it 30 more.
I'm going to iraq, because if I do, it means that maybe someday I'll have the chance to come back and learn all about the nightmare that is you.
And if I don't go, I'll never get that chance.
They might need a cajun restaurant in Winnipeg.
Oh, come on.
You hate the cold.
I might get used to it.
You know that great, big family that you love so much? I couldn't ask you to leave them, and I wouldn't want to.
I want to do these 12 months.
And keep my head down, and for the first time, feel like that I have somewhere to come home to.
I want to go to church with your mom.
I want to sit on your front porch swing and let the past slip away and start living in the present.
I guess your big date did seal the deal.
He's going to war because of me.
He's going to war because of love.
Like I said.