Dallas s01e05 Episode Script

What do you get when you cross a Barnes with a Ewing? A boy or a girl.
- A baby? - A baby! That kid's gonna have everything.
Everything, you hear? You got my daughter in your house, now you take my grandson.
There is nothing in this world that Jock Ewing wants more than a grandson.
And I haven't been able to give him his first.
Little brother Bobby and that Barnes girl are gonna have a baby named Ewing.
Morning, Daddy.
- Morning, Bobby.
- Hey, let me carry that for you.
Oh, I think I got enough left in me to tote a case of my best bourbon whiskey.
Suit yourself.
Well, Tilly, you ready to feed half the state of Texas? I've been catering Ewing parties - Ain't nobody never gone hungry yet.
- I guess you're right.
But would you please drop the "Mr.
"? Sam and I drop the "Mr.
", I have to charge 10 percent less.
Daddy just don't strain yourself before your big reunion.
Hey.
Reunion? What do you mean, reunion? - Didn't Mama tell you? - Tell me what? - Well, Pamela's daddy's coming.
- Willard Barnes, coming here? - Willard? - Yeah, Willard.
That was his name before he called himself "Digger.
" Now, what the hell's he coming out here for? Well, he's Pamela's daddy.
He's my father-in-law.
He should be invited.
Inviting's one thing.
Accepting's another.
It'll be the greatest thing ever, you and Digger back together.
Might even bury the hatchet.
See you later.
My house, my barbecue.
Digger Barnes.
I don't know about this, Pamela.
Well, that's not gonna make it.
And neither is that shirt.
- This shirt? I love this shirt.
- That's a terrific shirt.
- "Terrific" isn't part of the plan.
- Plan? I don't understand.
Plan? - To make me into a hayseed.
- Come on, Pam.
How much hay is there on the streets of Dallas? Change that shirt.
- Pam.
You're not serious.
- Wanna bet? You gonna use that tie? That's the price you pay for not going to the barbecue.
No, it's okay.
I like that.
Just change that shirt.
I'll fix the tie at the ranch.
Pamela, you go on ahead.
Jimmy and I'll drive out later.
Oh, Daddy, I thought we'd use the time before the barbecue to get reacquainted.
Reacquainted with Jock Ewing? Daddy, I don't know why you're going out there at all.
You hate him.
That's right.
I hate him.
Jock Ewing had the head.
I had the nose.
He was a smart aleck, never said otherwise.
But without my nose, he wouldn't have nothing.
I found the oil.
He claimed it.
I drilled it.
He sold what bubbled up.
How'd he do that? We was partners.
One needed the other.
I trusted him.
He stole you blind.
He not only stole my fortune, he stole my sweetheart.
My daddy used to work for her daddy, old man Southworth.
That's how we got to know each other.
She was a sweet little thing, Ellie was.
With a great big laugh.
She had a way about her.
She could be sweet as sugar one minute and come at you with a shotgun the next.
And, oh, what a temper she had.
Go off like a firecracker.
Bang! And just as quick, it was all over.
Sure had a way about her.
Daddy, why are you going out there? Because Pam asked me.
Begged you is more like it.
My little girl married to Ellie's son.
I ain't sure what, but it must mean something.
Two hours, Jimmy? Okay.
Drive carefully.
- Bye, Cliff.
- Bye.
Two hours.
Make sure there's plenty of coffee and punch.
- All right? 2:30.
Thanks, Sam.
- All right.
Hi, Sue Ellen.
Pamela, will you please move your car? The florist's truck has got to get out.
Sure.
I'm sorry.
Hey, Lucy.
How about moving the car? - Me? - Yeah.
- Where's your dad and cousin? - They'll be here.
- How'd you know about cousin Jimmy? - Bobby told me.
- He didn't insinuate - Insinuate what? - Anything about you meeting Jimmy? - He said that I might like him.
- Oh, Jimmy's just a baby.
- Nineteen, Bobby said.
There's 19, and there's 19.
And compared to you he's 5.
Don't forget to move the car.
- Hi, how are you? - Hi.
Now, what kind of a cannon was she shot out of? - Doctor's office.
- Hello.
This is Pamela Ewing.
- I was in this morning.
I just wondered if - Could you hold, please? Sure, I'll hold.
- Hello, Mrs.
Ewing.
- Yes.
The test is positive.
- It's positive? - Yes.
- You mean I'm really? - Yes, you are definitely pregnant.
- How long? - Well, it's a little early to tell right now.
All right.
That's wonderful.
You're wonderful.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Bye.
Bobby? I'm home.
I'll be out in a minute, hon.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Did you go to Dallas today? - Sorry.
How's Digger? - Fine.
Stone sober.
Good.
I'll get you a towel.
- I learned a riddle today.
- Oh, let's hear it.
I learned the riddle, but don't know the answer.
What? I don't know the answer yet.
You're nuts.
Yeah.
Well, I figure there are only two possible answers.
Pamela, are you gonna tell me the riddle or not? What do you get when you cross a Barnes with a Ewing? In the first place, you never cross a Ewing.
Sorry.
All right.
What are the two possible answers? A boy or a girl.
You? - I love you.
- I love you.
It's just a little windy today, senator, but I think it's shifted.
- It'll - Calm down.
It really is a nice day.
Just loving it.
It's a nice day You're here? Ray? Senator, you know our ranch foreman, Ray Krebbs.
- Nice to see you again.
- Nice to see you.
- And his very good friend - Maureen.
Maureen.
Yes.
You're looking lovely today, dear.
My sentiments entirely.
Nice to see you.
- Senator, champagne? - Thank you.
- And don't forget our dance.
- It's gonna be my pleasure, I assure you.
- Have a fine time, senator.
- Thanks.
Okay, goodbye now.
Doc Allistair, how you doing? Good to see you.
Hi.
Is everybody okay? Get enough to drink? - Excuse me a minute, hon, okay? - Okay.
- Hi.
- Well, hi.
Don't you look cute! Cute's not exactly my first choice.
But, you know, party at home with grandmother around But We're gonna announce it later, but Pam is pregnant.
Hey, I'm gonna go over and talk to Pam.
Pam, I just heard the word.
Congratulations, babe.
Thank you.
- It was the right thing Hello.
Hi, Lucy.
- Hi.
- Have you met Susan? - No.
Hello.
Susan's one of our new ladies at the office.
This is Lucy, she's my niece.
- Of course, Bobby's niece too.
- Of course.
- Hey, Jim, how you doing? - All right, J.
R.
How are you? Good.
Listen, you show Susan around and make sure she meets everybody.
- Sure.
- Come here a sec.
I want to talk to you.
- Did Bobby hire you? - No.
J.
R.
Old J.
R.
, he never misses a trick.
Sam? - How you doing, Sam? - Real good, Miss Ellie.
These folks are drinkers.
We're way ahead of last year.
Well, keep it flowing.
Hi.
Hello, Willard.
Hello, Ellie.
You look nice.
You look the same as always.
That's going a little far.
This is my nephew, Jimmy.
Jimmy, say hello to Miss Ellie Ewing.
- Good to meet you, ma'am.
- Thank you, Jimmy.
Glad you could come.
- I know you'll have a real fine time.
- Thanks.
We old folks are gonna rehash some ancient history.
Come on.
- Jimmy.
Hi.
- Hi.
Where's Digger? He's with what's-her-name, Miss Ellie.
Yeah? Is he all right? Nervous as a rabbit, but sober.
Oh, thank God for that.
Tell you what.
I'll introduce you to the folks.
- Okay.
- Okay? Bobby.
- I'm gonna take Jimmy around.
- Okay.
- How you doing, Jimmy? - Good.
- Okay, you take care of her now.
- Okay.
- Bobby.
- Yes.
- Can I have a word? - Sure.
Excuse me.
Come on through.
- Good news about you and the bride.
- Thank you.
- It's the worst-kept secret here.
- Word's getting around.
- Maybe Mr.
Jock and Miss Ellie - Of course, they should hear it from us.
I'll find them and tell them.
- Congratulations.
- Thanks a lot, Sam.
Hey, Ray.
Come here.
Lucy.
- Hi.
How are you? - Hi.
- You know Maureen? - Yeah, I remember.
- Have you heard about Bobby and Pam? - No.
They're gonna have a baby.
Isn't that terrific? That's terrific.
Ray.
Maureen, why don't you get another drink, okay? Okay.
See you in a bit.
- Sneaking his cigarettes early today.
- He's snuck three of them sitting there.
Ain't like him to stay away from his guests so long.
Digger Barnes is here.
- Say what? - You heard me.
The girl Bobby married is Digger's daughter.
So it figures Jock and Digger are bound to meet again.
But from the looks of him, it happened a long time before he was ready.
- How are things out there? - Crazy.
That ain't no news.
Tell me some news.
She's on a nest, Digger's girl.
Now that's news.
How's the missus and big brother taking it? I don't think they know about it yet.
They ain't gonna like that.
- Who's gonna be the first to have a fight? - Too soon to tell.
- First to get drunk? - He's got the head start.
My brand, Tilly.
- Everything under control? - Oh, yes, sir, Mr.
Jock.
You want to be getting back to your guests.
I'll keep both eyes open.
Digger Barnes, Tilly.
Digger Barnes in my house.
Well, it was bound to happen, Mr.
Jock.
What with the children being married to each other.
You know, to hear Digger Barnes tell it Jock Ewing's responsible for everything evil all the way back to original sin.
Here's to original sin.
Stole his girl.
The old man worked for Southworth for a while, that's all.
He and Ellie were 14 years old, 15 tops.
Sweethearts.
How you doing? Enjoying yourself? - Oh, hi, Daddy.
I've been looking for you.
- Duties.
Bar duties.
Well, Pammy and I, we got something we'd like to talk to you and Mama about.
And Digger Barnes? Yes, sir.
Well, this is one meeting I'm not looking forward to.
Well, Daddy I think this might surprise you.
As a matter of fact, I'm sure it's gonna.
Come on.
So that's what it came down to, Willard.
It was 1930.
There was drought, depression.
My family was gonna lose this ranch.
You married Jock Ewing to save all this? I don't understand.
We Southworths have been here a long time.
We love this land.
It's what we're made of.
Any regrets? None at all.
Jock and I made a good marriage.
We love each other.
I think about you often, Willard.
I always have.
But I did what I had to do.
Now, we better get back before we set tongues wagging.
Ellie, just one thing.
Nobody, but nobody, calls me Willard anymore.
What a pleasure to see three such lovely ladies having so much fun.
Why not? It's an extra-special celebration.
Why, I seem to be in the dark.
Bobby and Pam, of course.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought everybody knew by now.
Knew what, Lucy, dear? Pam and Bobby are gonna have a baby.
Well that is cause for celebration.
I'll go find Pamela.
"Well, old boy, good job.
" "Yeah, I think so.
It looked so good, I ate it myself.
" That's what he said.
- Excuse me.
Pamela? - Yes? I am so happy for you.
Well, thank you, Sue Ellen.
It's just very exciting for us all.
Yes, it is.
Thank you.
Thank you, Sam.
Thank you.
He said, "You gotta wear rose-colored glasses as you got a rosy outlook on life.
" - Excuse me.
- Yeah, darling? - May I see you a minute, please? - I always got time for a pretty lady.
- You gentlemen excuse me? - Excuse me.
- Be right back.
- Well I can see by your apparent good humor you're not aware of the news of the hour.
I've heard about the Alamo, if that's what you mean.
Waterloo's more like it.
Yours.
Would you get to the point? I'm talking to a senator.
Well, I am talking about your little brother, Bobby the apple of Jock Ewing's eye, and his wife and their marriage.
Their bountiful marriage.
- Would you come to the point, darling? - It is not at all like ours.
There is nothing in this world that Jock Ewing wants more than a grandson.
And I haven't been able to give him his first because of your disinterest in me.
She is pregnant, J.
R.
Little brother Bobby and that Barnes girl are gonna have a baby named Ewing.
Maybe even a boy.
Now you just think about that.
Mind if I sit down? I didn't see you out there dancing at all today.
Don't know how.
You could probably get somebody to teach you.
Why? Don't you want to learn? Never give it much thought.
It's really fun.
What do you do for fun? Pool.
Swimming pool? Shooting pool.
You any good at it? Pretty good.
You any good at anything else? Nothing much.
Do you have a girlfriend? Nope.
But you do like girls though.
Never give it much thought.
- You don't like boys, do you? - Sure do.
I mean, like them.
You know, in that way.
What way? Never mind.
Have you ever had a girlfriend that you've? You know.
"You know," what? Never mind.
She's showing him around the ranch.
I'll see if that man's carving the beef right.
We got something we wanna tell y'all.
We don't want you to hear it out there.
No disrespect to you, young lady but why did your daddy come here at all today? Because I begged him to.
Well, I sure can't make heads or tails of this.
I know I shouldn't have told him all that.
He works hard, poor J.
R.
Does.
Oh, I shouldn't add to his pressures.
Oh, I shouldn't make him uncomfortable.
Ever.
Of course, a wife has needs too.
I do.
I admit that candidly.
Unfulfilled needs at the present.
I say at the present, not that I plan to do anything outside the bounds of marriage.
No, it's propriety.
Never.
No chance of that at all.
But I am optimistic about J.
R.
And me.
About J.
R.
And me and the conjugal circumstance.
I keep myself nice.
I really work at it.
Scarcely gained a pound since I was Miss Texas.
I really do take care of myself.
I wonder where J.
R.
Got off to.
Maybe Maybe I overstated the case.
Is Jock Ewing going to love J.
R.
Less because Bobby Ewing gave him his first grandson? Yes.
Because Jock Ewing loves J.
R.
Less to begin with.
What would I like? I'd like J.
R.
To love me more.
Is that asking for too much? Oh, I don't think so.
Where you been, Ellie? I was showing Digger the ranch.
Jock, you haven't seen Digger yet, have you? No.
You two do remember one another, don't you? Don't be flip, boy.
Just tell us what you got to say.
I got guests to take care of.
Well, let's see Say it, Bobby.
Okay, I'll say it.
We're gonna have a baby.
- A baby? - A baby! Man, that is news.
- You're? - Gonna be a mama.
- That isn't what I was gonna say.
- What were you gonna say, Digger? Yeah.
Well, you are happy? Yes, Daddy, I'm happy.
I reckon it's out of style to say so, but I damn sure hope it's a boy.
You're right.
- About wanting a grandson? - No.
About being out of style.
- When's the baby due, Pamela? - I don't know.
I went to the lab this morning.
I have to make an appointment with the doctor.
Anything we can do for you, Pam? Yes.
You can give me two granddaddies for our baby to be with together.
You just said you'd work on it, Daddy.
Just try.
A handshake.
Well, Jock? Maybe if we gave it a try we could make a go of it.
Let's go see our guests.
Go on, Daddy.
Hi.
How are you? Good to see you.
Good to see you.
Good to see you again.
Listen, we have a little announcement - Hi.
- Jimmy, you having a good time? Yeah.
Listen, I gotta tell you, it was perfect.
I laughed at myself, carrying on like a hayseed.
I love it.
Well, I told you, Lucy does not respond to cool.
Yeah.
Listen, I don't wanna keep the lady waiting, you know? - I'm getting a tour of the ranch.
- Enjoy it.
Okay.
See you.
No, I don't want no coffee.
Go on.
- Lf this don't call for drinks, nothing does.
- Well, I'm on the wagon.
Give me my brand, Tilly.
Give him grape soda pop.
I've been ready for that child.
Have been for a long time.
I gotta get ready.
That kid's gonna have everything.
- Everything, you hear? - Now, we can't spoil him.
Why not? I spoiled Bobby rotten, and he turned out to be the best of the lot.
Yes, sir, that kid's gonna have a Shetland pony and one of those buzzy bikes the kids like.
- Not again, Jock.
- What? You gonna take everything, like always.
You got my daughter in your house, now you take my grandson.
- Same old Digger Barnes.
- No, no, I'm not the same.
I decided right up there on that porch that I was gonna forgive you.
Forgive? - Forgive me for what? - For stealing.
For swindling.
For cheating me out of what was mine.
- Do you really see it that way, Digger? - Well, what do you call it? - Smarter business, that's what.
- I call it crooked.
You took everything.
- Everything, including my girl.
- Your what? - We were just kids.
- Jock.
Jock, let him alone.
You hear that, Barnes? Let him.
- Let him believe in his own lies.
- You took the claims for your own.
Stop it, both of you.
Young lady, you've heard his side all your life.
It's about time you heard the truth.
I put that claim in my name to keep him from gambling his half away.
- You didn't leave me nothing.
- I come back to the claim.
He's drunk.
He looks at the paper, sees my name jumps me, tries to tear my eyes out.
- I was gonna give half of the money.
- Stop it.
- I can't stand this.
- How can he stand himself? Been a loser every day of his life.
- Couldn't even kill me the time he tried.
- That's enough, Jock! Do you have to take everything away from him, even now? No.
He asks for the same thing every time to be stripped down raw.
I generally try to accommodate my guests.
Willard, are you all right? He was right.
We was just kids.
You meant a great deal to me, Willard.
We was just kids.
And you lied to me.
- Daddy.
- I want a drink.
Like everybody else, I'll take a drink.
Daddy, calm down first.
Listen, we'll go home.
Daddy, do you hear? We'll go home.
- Did you have to destroy the man? - Man? He's the granddaddy of my baby, just like you.
Your baby will overcome that.
- Now look here, Daddy - No, you look.
- I don't need a lecture.
- You're not thinking straight.
All this over that old drunk? - He's still Pamela's father.
- Enough! You don't tell me how to act.
This is my house.
Fine.
Yes, indeed.
No, that's the first How does the second verse go? Hey, let go.
Let go.
Let go.
- Let me take you home, Daddy.
- I'm not gonna home, Mrs.
Ewing.
- Oh, Daddy.
- Mrs.
Ewing.
- I'll get Jimmy to take you home.
- As long as it's not Jimmy Ewing.
- Come on, we're getting out of here.
- I'll get Jimmy to take Daddy.
- I'll help him.
- Well, where y'all going? - Looking for proof of paternity? - Get away, J.
R.
, you're drunk.
Well, I sure ain't alone.
Hi, Digger.
Oh, I just love these family scenes, don't you? Picturesque, huh? I'm gonna get Jimmy.
Well, how long you all been married? Just about 20 minutes, right? J.
R.
, sober up.
Hey, Digger.
- How you like this marriage, boy? - I don't like it.
Well, that's the first time you and I agreed on anything in 20 years.
Drink up, buddy.
Jimmy.
- Oh, Jimmy - Pam.
Hi.
Come on up.
You've gotta take Digger home.
- Something wrong? - Yeah.
- Digger's bad, huh? - Not very good.
- You gonna come? - No.
I'm gonna stay up here for a minute and catch my breath.
- I'll see you back in town later.
- Okay.
- I'll go with you.
- All right, come on.
Watch yourself.
- Sorry to break up the party.
- Yeah.
Hello, brother-in-law.
Hello, Sue Ellen.
Nice to see you.
Well, this a private showing, or can anybody watch? Oh, hi, J.
R.
You're just in time.
I was about to take off all my clothes and play Lady Godiva.
- Would that turn you on, my darling? - It might.
Let's just try.
All I want is what Pamela has.
Well, I wouldn't be so sure Bobby's going to give it to her.
- Don't start, J.
R.
- Want a drink, Bob? See, we got an issue at stake here.
We're talking about heirs.
Talking about Ewings.
Now, you take Sue Ellen, there.
One man, one man alone, has known that Mrs.
Ewing Shut up, J.
R.
I think "known" is just a little bit strong.
Knowing requires a little bit of steady observation and frequency.
None of which we seem to have, J.
R.
Well, in contrast now, you take the new Mrs.
Ewing.
She's known Oh, just offhand, she's known Jack what's-his-name, and Ray Krebbs J.
R.
She's trash, Bobby.
Just plain trash.
It's gonna be fun.
Just plain trash.
Let him be.
Bobby, do you think you could take me to the house now? Boy.
I always go too far.
- I didn't hear you.
- I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
What I said is I always go too far.
Yes, you do.
- Yeah.
- Excuse me.
Oh, wait.
Look what Bobby did.
See what he did? Without provocation, no doubt.
I don't know.
I wouldn't say that.
We're brothers, and brothers fight and all that.
- Get off it, J.
R.
- Wait a minute.
- Now, this has gotta stop.
- It will.
- But wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
- Bobby and I are moving out.
Oh, no, you can't do that.
It'll split up the family.
- Don't put that on us.
- Well, now wait a minute.
We can You and I, see, have to come to an understanding, Pamela.
- Come on.
It's too late.
- We can work something out.
- No, we can't.
- We can.
No, we can't We lost the baby.
Pamela? No bones broken.
Any permanent injuries? Doc's up with her now.
We don't know if she's gonna be able to have children.
When she's up and around, we'll be able to tell then.
Hey, Bobby.
Now you know I wouldn't do anything to hurt that little girl of yours.
J.
R.
Is your brother, Bobby.
Why did you go to the stable? - Well, I saw her car out front.
I wanted - Why did you go in? I wanted to apologize.
I was drunk.
I felt real bad.
I wanted to tell her how bad I felt Bobby, you can go back on up now.
I'll be in touch tomorrow.
- I'm sorry.
- Don't say it.
It was my family that cost us.
I love you, Bobby.
I love you too.
As soon as you're on your feet, we're getting out of here.
I wish you wouldn't, Bobby.
Daddy, there's no way we're staying on.
I don't blame you for feeling that way.
Been a rough day for everybody.
I shouldn't have done what I did to Digger.
Can't help being what he is more than we can help being what we are.
Daddy, the bottom line is we lost the baby.
You know what that baby meant to me too, Bobby.
J.
R.
Said he was going to the barn to apologize.
He should have the benefit of the doubt.
Not from me.
Little lady.
Pamela.
Us Ewings, it They're just not an easy family to live with, as you found out.
We've had things our way so long that maybe Well, maybe it got in the way of our being just people.
I guess you don't have no reason to really care but I want to keep my family together.
I don't want to lose another son.
Was it an accident? Yes.
Do you want to stay? Yes.
I do.
Did you push her? I did not.
Are you sorry that she lost the baby? Are you coming in? In a minute.