DAVE (2020) s01e05 Episode Script

1
I don't know, man.
I look like the back of a playing card.
This is so drippy right here, bro.
- Look at you, bro.
- This is, like, what a fuckboy is.
Like, when I hear people
calling people fuckboys,
aren't they isn't this that?
You're doing a concert, bro.
Like, you gonna be fly.
You have to be fly at all times.
How do I talk when I'm onstage,
by the way, in between songs?
Do I go like, "What's up,
y'all, it's your boy Lil Dicky",
and talk in my rap
voice, or do I talk in my,
like, normal speaking voice and say,
"Hi, everybody. Are you having fun?"
- I mean, both options suck.
- Hey, don't y'all think
- my boy look fresh, man?
- Oh. You don't have to
Right, look at his jacket, dude.
He got on Mother Medusa
right now. Matter of fact,
y'all don't even know who he is, huh?
- Nah.
- This is Lil Dicky.
He got the song "My Dick Sucks".
- Okay.
- He about to open up for Meek Mill.
Y'all should come.
Where at?
Oh. Uh, Philadelphia
is where it's happening.
How the fuck you expect
us to come to Philly?
Uh, it was more, like,
an expression, I think,
when he said you should
come like, come mentally.
Not ejaculate, obviously.
He means, like, livestream.
GATA: Y'all really need
to get a picture with my boy.
He about to blow the fuck up.
- All right, man.
- All right.
Meek Mill? Shit. Go ahead.
You will want this picture one day.
- Bro
- Take my word for it.
Smiling? What are we doing
straight face, smile ?
- Man, take the picture.
- Okay.
That's hard.
How's it look? Is it good?
Man, that shit's gravy.
Oh, you did the you
did the Lil Dicky thing.
Appreciate that.
Nah, that's some gang shit
Gang shit?
What do you mean, gang ? Like ?
Like, Crip shit.
Oh.
That's cool, I think.
Right? I'm just a little, actually,
concerned now that you mention it,
because I'm, you know,
performing and whatnot,
and I'm wearing this blue thing,
and we're all going
like this, and I just
Is there any way we can
delete that, and I just ?
I'm not in the gang, and
I just want to make sure
I'm not, like, looking like
I'm culturally appropriating.
And then what if the Bloods
see a picture like that?
Like, if Bloods see
this picture, seriously,
if a, if a group of
Bloods saw this picture,
will they have an issue
with me in any way?
You should be good, bro.
You should be good, cuz.
Don't trip. This nigga.
- Come on, bro.
- "What about the Bloods?"
Funny little white boy.
DAVE: Well, the blue every
What is Crip, Gata?
Show me with your hand. How ?
So I'm doing Crip every time
I do that Lil Dicky thing?
- You're not, but you are, low-key, though.
- Fuck.
- Hi, I'm Dave ♪
- I'm Lil Dicky ♪
- Hi, I'm Dave ♪
- Who's Dave? ♪
Hi, I'm Dave. ♪
Bling-blaow, ooh ♪
Chains on Skateboard P ♪
Bling-blaow, ooh ♪
Chains on Skateboard P ♪
Yo, goin' ape like Nigo ♪
Move out the way,
please don't be a hero ♪
Bling-blaow, ooh, chains
on Skateboard P ♪
ALLY: Dave! Have fun!
I am? What are you ? I'm having fun.
I'm not gonna put my hands in the air.
I'm doing research.
On the runway ♪
Oh, my God, it's so risky.
MIKE: That's what you need to do.
- That's a liability.
- Who cares?
Appreciate you, L.A.
Appreciate y'all coming out.
(CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)
All right, uh, let's get out of here.
Go, go, go. I got to go to the bathroom.
Beat the rush. Go, go, go, go, go, go.
I know. You know what I did?
I put so much toilet paper
on the seat that I wasn't confident
there'd be enough left
for the wiping process
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Dude, you're, uh
"Somebody suck me!"
(LAUGHS): Right?
- Yeah, man. How are you?
- Oh, my God.
Isn't ? That's he's
"somebody suck me".
- Yeah.
- What are you, what are you doing here?
You know, I'm a rapper,
so I'm here doing research,
seeing other rappers rap.
- You're a rapper?
- Yeah.
I thought you were like a, like a meme.
No. I'm, like, a real guy,
right in front of you.
No, I know you're, like, a real
guy, but you're, like, a
What's it called? Like, a parody, right?
A parody of what?
I don't know. (LAUGHS)
Life?
No.
But I appreciate you, man.
Have a good night.
Hey, hey, real quick.
- Somebody suck me!
- There it is.
- Are you guys hanging out?
- No, we straight, bro.
For sure. Nice to meet you guys.
Hey, uh, the Uber is is that way.
That's my bad. It's-it's up there.
- Okay, yeah.
- (GROANS): Somebody kill me.
MIKE: That show was pretty cool.
Did you get some intel?
Yeah, I learned how
terrifying this is gonna be,
and that, like, rappers climb, like,
light fixtures just to entertain people.
I'm never gonna climb a light fixture
and put my life in jeopardy.
- I thought that was the best part.
- Bro, don't you realize
that you about to be, like, turning up,
opening up for Meek Mill,
bro, in your city, his city?
That shit about to be dumbass lit.
Yeah, I That's what I,
that's what I'm realizing.
- It is crazy.
- No, it's not that crazy.
This is what happens
when you get a manager
who can manage you.
I wish you could manage
to get an Uber here. Look,
whatever you need like
set design, visuals
- I'm your girl.
- DAVE: The visuals.
- That's a whole 'nother
- (CLICKS TONGUE)
You know, I went from being
the "My Dick Sucks" guy
to the "Somebody suck
me" man. This is, like
It's a small branding
issue, okay? Easy to fix.
We just make a video. We
show it before every show.
It tells people who you
really are. It's just,
- we control the narrative that way.
- GATA: All you got to do
is this, bro look,
check this shit out.
♪♪
My dick sucks, my dick sucks ♪
- Okay, yeah.
- My dick sucks ♪
- (ALLY LAUGHS)
- Fuck! ♪
'Ey, girl, 'ey, girl ♪
'Ey, girl, what you
tryin' to say, girl? ♪
When you see my dick, you may hurl ♪
But I'm still kinda
hot like May, girl ♪
Whoa, girl, whoa, girl ♪
That's all you got to do
is turn the fuck up, fool.
Yes, dude.
I can't do any of that,
but that is by far the best
I've ever felt about my music.
How would you feel about,
like, coming onstage with me
and being my hype man?
- What? Are you serious?
- Couldn't be more serious.
Aw, don't be rap-capping, bro.
I'm not I don't
think I'm rap-capping.
I'm being serious.
Oh. I support this.
It's good to take the bulk
of the dancing off your plate.
No. Okay, that's not
- we're not gonna hire people.
- DAVE: No, no, no.
This is a dictatorship. Sorry.
Gata, you are my hype man.
- That's what I'm talking about, baby!
- Give me a hug.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Come on, bro, I can't believe this, man.
- Are you ready?
- I can't believe this, bro. Hold on.
DAVE: You know I'm gonna
take this very seriously.
Fo' sho'.
Yeah ♪
Whoo! Man, we killed
it out there, y'all.
I know y'all had a good
time. Good looking, fool.
Cut it, cut it ♪
- Skrrt ♪
- Cut it ♪
That's that booty.
Damn, shorty, you's a cutie.
Uh. I'm about to make my
way to the back, though,
'cause you know I'm
all-access, I got it like that.
Nutti the boss. What's up, Nutti?
- What's good, baby?
- Back here managing things.
What up, Pacman? What's good? Hey, bro.
- How do out there with you, bro?
- Man, you went crazy.
- GATA: Nah, you went crazy.
- Nah, you did that.
O.T. Genasis went crazy.
We turned that shit up.
The crowd was lit. They ate it up, Pac.
Man, but guess what, though.
We could be on planes
doing big things, man.
I'm trying to get on them PJs, baby.
I'm having a crazy good-ass time.
What's up with your fine ass, baby?
I know you got a number for me.
- I got two phones.
- Hey, bro, hey, bro, tone down a little bit.
Chill don't pay the bills, bro.
For real, like, I got to
be hype at all times, bro.
- That's cool for you, man.
- I don't get paid
to be calm, bro I'm a hype man.
You feel me? But let's take
it to the next level, baby.
Like, let's hit up Weezy,
he got slots for us,
Lil Wayne tour we can do all of that.
Y'all know I'm connected and respected.
You're doing extras, bro,
- you're doing extras, bro.
- The problem is,
- y'all not extra with me.
- Chill out.
We supposed to having extra, extra fun!
Man, what's up with your boy, bro?
GATA: Man, I see how it is.
Y'all trying to turn me down.
You dig what I'm saying?
- Oh, yeah.
- Yo, yo.
Yeah! Huh-huh!
You're doing too much right now.
- Too much, like what?
- Chill, baby.
I'm not about to chill.
I'm gonna go to the front,
'cause it's real in the
front, baby. Let's go.
'Cause it's party time.
Can't take that no more,
bro, he got to roll.
- Like roll roll-type.
- All right. Say less, man.
GATA: I'm staying up here, man, I swear.
My bad. That's your girl.
(GATA CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)
My little gander.
They trippin' on me.
- Yo, you got to go.
- Aw, come on, man.
You really about to kick me off the bus?
- Let me just holla at you
- Come on, Nutti,
don't do me like this, man,
let me get one more chance, bro.
So, I mixed all your
favorite primary colors,
and then I pulled pics off your socials,
and they'll be projected
on-screen behind you.
I just feel like you're making
me look very lame or something.
Making you?
DAVE: And by the way, I
think this is funny and a
very valid attempt
I just think, I'm already
kind of in an uphill battle
here opening up for Meek Mill,
'cause his crowd isn't
necessarily my crowd,
and I don't need to, like, double down
and remind everybody, "Hey,
if you didn't know I was white,
Jewish and suburban and a loser,
just look behind me and
you'll really know it.
You know? Like, I'm not
sure they'll like it.
When did you start caring
about what other people want?
Since, like,
pretty much, like, now.
'Cause it's, like, a very real thing.
- David.
- Yeah.
- Stop.
- Okay.
Well, I-I just think I'd
feel much better about it
if we could lock down a
great representation visually
of what my brand is.
Okay, so, how exactly would
you describe your brand?
Like, aesthetically or
"cinematographically",
if that's a word
- It's not.
- I feel like it's everything
you loved about the classic
movies of our childhood.
Like Sandlot, Billy Madison,
Apocalypse Now, Happy Gilmore, Clueless.
But at the same time,
I feel like my brand is
not rooted in the past.
It's actually very forward-thinking
- and, like, futuristic.
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
- It's like, imagine, like,
what 2090 is like.
But, like, it's being described
by someone who's from 1920.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Okay.
Like this?
To me,
it says, "Don't give too many notes
to the person doing this shit for free".
All right, well, I
won't give you any more
notes, then, I guess.
I'll do one more pass.
- Thanks, slug.
- Don't touch me.
- They don't care about my cock ♪
- (WHOOPS)
- I could use a pussy mop ♪
- Drip ♪
- In the scene like I'm a prop ♪
- (GRUNTS)
She saw me and went in shock ♪
Technically I'm unemployed ♪
But I'm pretty sure I'm gonna work ♪
- Work ♪
- Stackin' paper like a clerk ♪
And all my haters look perturbed ♪
Been there since birth, my dick look ♪
- Like it's a saltshaker ♪
- Shaker ♪
My dick look like
it get chokeslammed ♪
- By the Undertaker ♪
- (GRUNTS)
My dick like the Lord made
everything about me player ♪
- Player ♪
- Then he had to make my dick ♪
And send it straight
on down to Satan ♪
- Devil's dick ♪
- My dick sucks ♪
- (WHOOPS)
- My dick sucks ♪
- Hey. ♪
- All right. Cut-cut it off.
Cut the music off. All of this
just feels so, like, expected.
What the fuck, bro?
It's just exactly what
any rapper would do.
Don't you want to be a rapper?
Bro, what's wrong? What
do you want me to do?
I can do anything, bro.
I'm like a magician, bro.
Look at these notes. I've
been plotting and jotting, bro.
I've been thinking about
this shit all night.
The best show of your life,
and I'm treating it like it's my life.
Let's do this shit together, bro.
DAVE It's not a you
thing. You're doing great.
I'm just thinking, like,
shouldn't I be doing
more, like, Andy Kaufman-like stuff?
Like stunts, like sitting onstage,
like, cross-legged, smoking a cigar.
Maybe not even open my mouth and talk.
I just sit there, like,
experiment socially.
Oh, you're trying to be on
some undercover rap shit,
like James Bond. When the last time
you seen James Bond take a
shit in any of his movies?
Have you seen James Bond take
a shit in any of his movies?
I mean, I don't think
they film shit like that
in movies just in general.
But, hey, preach, brother.
Okay, you right. 'Cause
everything I say is real.
Everything I say needs
to be on a T-shirt.
Come on, bro. If you want
the Andy Kaufman shit, put it up there.
Hologram, bro. You're LD.
Get a fucking hologram.
You could do anything, bro.
- Hol
- Don't you think he can get a hologram?
We need to get one of them holograms,
for real, for real. Call the venue, bro.
Yeah, no. No, we're
not getting a hologram.
- You can't afford rent, so no.
- I'm just trying
to figure out, like, what
is unique to Lil Dicky.
Like, who is Lil Dicky?
What is something only he would do?
Or I would d Or
Fuck, this is confusing.
Suck your own dick onstage.
Can I do that? Legally?
Can I suck my own dick onstage?
That's a real question?
You're asking me about being able
to suck your own penis in front of
Legally. I'm just Legally.
Can you even do that in real life?
I believe I can. I used
to as a kid. Oh, my God.
I stopped doing it at a certain point,
'cause it felt more like giving head
than getting it, but
ELZ: Did you even come or anything?
- DAVE: Uh
- Oh, my God.
- Don't tell me you swallowed.
- I, like, kind of
It was like a neck hair thing
So you pulled out of your
mouth and then you shot it
- and you caught it in your neck?
- Yes.
What are you, a Globetrotter? (CHUCKLES)
Yeah, I didn't Like
I said, it was a burden.
- (WHOOPS)
- I stopped doing it for that reason. I'm just saying,
if it was legal, it's, like,
definitely an interesting visual.
Okay, if not that
So we're gonna make
that video, like I said,
that shows exactly who Lil Dicky is.
- No gimmicks, no bullshit.
- But you're not listening to me.
I don't even know who Lil Dicky is.
Like, that's what I'm saying.
Like, I'm trying to figure it out.
I don't even know
what this thing is yet.
What Lil Dicky is? He a legend, bro.
Ain't you TTG, trained
to go? Let's go, baby.
We going straight to the mountaintop.
Mount Rushmore-type shit.
Let's go over here,
do what we got to do.
Let's gander, wiggle up, hit the stage.
Me and him. Bret Hart, Owen Hart,
jumping off the top row.
You know what I mean?
Let's Super Smash
Brother these hoes, bro.
- Listen to me, bro. Come on.
- Gata!
Dude, you need to calm down.
Listen to yourself, bro.
My bad, y'all.
I'm-a go get some water over here.
This is your fault.
(WHISPERING): I don't know.
It's a lot.
Ma, when the last time you been
to Chick-fil-A on Expo and Fig?
Ooh, I don't feel like
going to Expo and Fig.
What? They got the best
sauce, the best service.
But we got food at
home, already paid for.
- Thank you.
- Already paid for? Ain't nobody worried
- about the price of Chick-fil-A.
- Well, I know you're not,
after what you just spent
on the same pair of shoes
- in different colors.
- Aw, hell no!
I know you ain't in here buying shoes.
You still owe me money.
- Relax, bro. Come on.
- Ain't about to relax, bro.
- You know what time it is with me.
- Just relax, bro.
In front of all these people?
- It's not that serious.
- I don't care about them people, fool.
Either you gonna run me my money, bro,
or you gonna take them
shoes back right now, bro.
- I'm not playing with you.
- I know you see me working
with Pacman da Gunman, Wayne
I don't care about none
of that make-believe,
- fairy-tale shit, bro.
- Bro, just chill.
- Okay, look. Here.
- Bro, take them shoes back.
How much money does he owe you?
Ma'am, I wouldn't
take no money from you.
- I promise you, I wouldn't.
- Bro, it's all good. You know what?
Come on, big homey.
Let's go. It's all love.
- A'ight.
- Okay, look. Here, I'll
Hey, bang the register, man.
- I got to make a return.
- That's what I'm talking about.
- Okay, uh
- CAZ: Yeah.
I just got to give a-a
reason for the return.
'Cause he's a bitch-ass
nigga. That's why.
- Oh. All right.
- (TYPES)
I'm-a remember that, bro.
Here.
Punk, no, that's my money, nigga.
- Give me the receipt.
- Man, you know what?
I can't believe this.
He don't even know I'm
poppin' like that, bro.
It's gonna be all good,
bro. The whole world
gonna see how poppin' I am.
I'm-a have all of this, bro.
Man, fuck all these shoes.
All this shit gonna be mine!
I'm-a own this whole entire
collection! You feel me?
- All this shit gonna be mine.
- Glenn, I'm gonna call security.
Every colorway in here gonna be mine!
These black ones. All of
this shit gonna be mine.
- This whole entire store is gonna be mine!
- Gata.
Gata, listen, listen, you're
acting really crazy right now.
- Crazy? You calling me crazy?
- Just
Are you my mama? He ain't working
with Pacman da Gunman. He
ain't working with Lil Wayne.
- What does that have to do with anything?
- That's me.
He don't even realize my face is money.
- I just need you to calm down. Take a br
- I ain't calming shit down!
Matter of fact, I'm-a
take this jacket off.
This shit that you bought me is cheap.
I don't need nobody.
- Fuck this jacket. And look.
- (STAMMERS)
And this backpack that
got this laptop in it.
You feel me? This $1,300 laptop
- ain't shit to me.
- Oh, God!
You feel me? Ain't nothing.
So, how are you my mama and
you talking about I'm crazy?
- How you gonna call your own son crazy?
- Please. Just I didn't
- Just relax!
- Ain't nobody about to calm down.
- Just
- I ain't about to c Get your hands off me.
- Get your hands off me.
- Oh, my God.
- Please, don't hurt him.
- Get your hands off me.
- Don't hurt him!
- Call somebody!
DOCTOR: Mr. Ganter,
I'm gonna give you a low dose
of Depakote to stabilize you,
and we'll see how you go from there.
Can you see how I do with
a commissary burrito, man?
I ain't ate shit since I've been here.
Yeah, I'll get you a burrito.
- Thank you, Doctor.
- I can't believe this.
I know, honey. I know.
We're gonna get through this.
- Why'd they strap me to the bed, Mama?
- I know.
- I love you.
- Why'd they strap me to the bed?
- (CRYING)
- Oh, my God, sweetheart.
It's okay.
You're just sitting there,
just looking at me like
letting the doctor talk to me
like I'm just some stupid person,
like-like I'm just crazy, Ma.
Like, you just let him walk away.
Talking about some pills
I don't even know about.
Please, please,
- please, please, please, please.
- "Take this shit off my-my son".
- Like (CRYING)
- (SNIFFLES)
It's okay. It's okay.
DAVE: Gata, tomorrow night,
7:00 p.m., another rehearsal.
Damn, another rehearsal tomorrow, bro?
- Damn, I'm there.
- And if I'm being honest,
we got to be a lot more
focused than we were today,
'cause it was all over the place and
Bring it, okay?
I need to get that filled.
Hello?
- Thank you.
- Hello? Gata.
- Hello!
- Oh, yeah. I'm listening, bro.
You know me. I'm just
fucking with some bitches.
All right, Gata, like,
I can't even express
how important this show is, okay?
So please do not disappoint me.
Come on, bro. Does
molasses drip on trees?
That adage is not one I'm familiar with,
but sure.
I got to go. I'll talk to you tomorrow.
Goodbye.
I am so sorry about that,
but I need to get that dosage
and prescription filled ASAP.
Is this for seizures
or mood stabilization?
The last one.
Have you had this dosage before?
Y'all just gonna stand there and watch?
Nah, I never had this dosage,
but my doctor told me
if I find myself, like, ramping up,
that I need to get this dosage.
All right. Give me 30 minutes, okay?
Thank you. (EXHALES)
My dick sucks, my dick sucks ♪
My dick sucks ♪
Yeah, the 808s are harder.
So, let's leave it as is done.
I do think that it's
not the perfect 808s
- if I'm being honest.
- (GROANING)
Can you actually pull up, uh,
that propane beat that
you have on hold for me?
'Cause I think those
808s are even better.
- And if we could incorporate
- On hold?
- Play that for me real quick.
- Okay.
(BEAT PLAYING)
Incorporate those.
I could, but I gave this one
to some other rapper.
So
Are you joking, or no,
you're being serious?
You gave the beat that you
were holding for me away
to a different rapper? I-I've
been working on that song.
For three months, you've
been working on that beat?
Yeah, it takes me years
to write a song sometimes.
I've been putting in so
many hours over that beat.
- You just gave it away?
- Okay, so let me ask you a question.
If, let's say, Beyoncé was
like, "Yo, Elz, I need a beat
right now". Her and Jay
want to go put out an album,
and I'm gonna give 'em
beats, and for some reason
you have the fucking beat that
I gave you three months ago
- Yeah.
- to use.
If you said, "Yeah,
I'm holding it for you".
And they started working
on it, and they're like,
"You know what ?"
Okay, actually forget it.
- It depends.
- Whatever, whatever.
It's your beat you own me.
You can take any beat of mine you want.
If anybody else, if Kanye
West asks me for a beat
and you have it, it's
yours, take the beat.
Well, don't make me feel bad about it.
Don't feel bad it's
your fucking beat, enjoy it.
Well, you could've given me
a heads up or I don't know
- We can talk about it
- And here's the heads up.
I don't, I mean, I understand.
that there's other rappers, but
What's up?
What's going on?
We were arguing.
Just a little bit.
- Is it over?
- No.
Okay, well, this is 45 bucks
an hour, so argue after.
Fine, let's rehearse.
Okay, so rehearse. Gata.
Gata?
Gata, Gata.
Dave.
He's asleep, okay.
- Wake up, sunshine.
- Up you go.
- You all right?
- (GATA GRUNTS)
Yeah, I'm good, bro, come on.
- This is a good choice right here.
-
The dual-band makes a big difference.
This is the one I got at my crib, so
Here's your refund, and I
hope you have a good day.
Thank you for coming to Game Force.
Hey, yo, what up, my man,
I want to return this.
It's not working how it's supposed to.
Oh, that's cool, I got you.
Hold up Gata?
- Bino.
- What?
You used to serve tree for Pacman.
- What? That's crazy.
- Yeah, what's up, bro?
- What's up, bro?
- Man, chilling, dawg.
- Just trying to get in where I fit in.
- That's what's up.
Dang, I was wondering what
ever happened to you, dawg.
I'm still serving 'em, but
I stopped seeing you around.
Hey, well, you know, I didn't
want to miss moms and sis.
I was tired of being on the road,
you know what I'm saying?
So I had to find something to suit me.
You know, I'm in here
with the Force, baby.
Facts, all right.
Okay, cool.
I'm glad to see you good, man.
Niggas said you went crazy, man.
But I'm glad to see
that ain't true, bro.
Well, you know niggas be lying
on me like a Persian rug.
All right, cool.
Well, shoot, man, I'll
tell Nutti I saw you, dawg.
Oh, you still mess with Nutti?
Yeah, whenever one of
his artists need weed.
He in the studio with
YG actually right now.
He in the studio with YG?
- Yeah, right now, knocking out bangers.
- That's what's up, bro.
You mind if I get tapped in?
Lock me in with that number, man.
Y-Yeah, yeah, I got you, I got you.
- I got you.
- Man, I appreciate you, bro.
'Ey, girl, 'ey, girl ♪
'Ey, girl, what you
tryin' to say, girl? ♪
When you see my dick, you may hurl ♪
But I'm still kinda
hot like May, girl ♪
Whoa, girl, whoa, girl. ♪
Dude, what the fuck are you doing?
Dude. Can you just run it back, bro?
Can you just, like,
not be right where I am?
Like, and let me have
space up here to operate?
Dave, just chill, give me a minute, bro.
- You think I can sit down for a second?
- Sit down?
- Yeah, man.
- No, dude, we got to rehearse.
What do you mean?
I told you this is, like,
the biggest deal in the world to me.
Like, this is the opposite of
the energy I need right now.
Like, we have to do it.
You knew we had to rehearse
today. What are you doing?
Yeah, I couldn't have
been clearer about how
important this is to me.
Like, are you fucking high?
ELZ: Have you been
taking zans or something?
Like, what is, like, your
deal right now? What, like ?
Dude, I'm fucking bipolar.
You're bipolar?
I have a chemical imbalance
going on inside my brain.
Gata, did a doctor diagnose you?
Medicine and the whole nine.
I take eight to ten pills
every night, bro like,
the other day I felt myself ramping up,
I took too much, and it
probably fucked me up, man.
Look at me, man.
It's much harder to
stay mad at this point.
It makes me feel like a
rat in a hole sometimes.
Like, I got to express this to you, bro.
Hot, cold
that's me.
I never tell nobody
this type of shit, bro.
Never, ever.
Shit's embarrassing, bro.
Like, I've been like this for a while.
We appreciate you sharing all
this with us, like, seriously.
You can tell us any of this stuff.
I love y'all, man, and
you guys make me feel comfortable.
You guys are weirdos just like me, bro.
(CRYING): This dude rap about
having a small dick all the time.
This dude right here rubs
acne on his back, no problem.
This dude back here
dresses cool as fuck.
He knows all the hip-hop urban lingo
but pronounces all his words properly.
And I'm really bipolar, bruh.
Like, really bipolar.
Sometime I feel crazy.
And sometime I feel lazy.
And I appreciate that, and
I think I speak for all of us
when I say we're in
this thing together, man.
I love you, man, you know, um,
I really appreciate you, like
I love you, too, bro.
You got to know that you feel me?
I never would come here purposely trying
to fuck your shit up.
Well, Gata, I'm glad you told us.
And
I think it's pretty cool that
we've got the first hype man
that's clinically depressed.
- (LAUGHTER)
- Oh, my God.
- You crazy.
- DAVE: Gata, give me a hug.
- I love you, come here.
- I love you, too, bro.
You're a real one, man, on God.
Man, I appreciate you, man.
- I'm glad I met you, bro.
- And I don't even think
we need to rehearse
anymore, to be honest.
I've been overthinking everything.
I think I know what we should do.
Hey.
I'm Lil Dicky.
I have a small penis
and I stress out about things.
This is Gata, he's my hype man.
Gata, tell 'em about yourself, huh?
What up, what up? It's your boy Gata.
Sunglass connoisseur,
pizza lover, I'm bipolar,
and I'll take your girl to the solar.
I didn't think he was gonna
get into mental illness,
but, man, this is the type
of honesty and openness
you can expect from this group.
This is my DJ Elz.
Tonight you're gonna see
one of the best rappers alive
give probably the best
show you've ever seen.
And you're gonna love Meek Mill.
But before that, enjoy us,
because we are on the cusp of greatness.
And to be honest, I don't
even know how we got here.
BINO: He in the studio
with YG actually right now.
GATA: He in the studio with YG?
BINO: Yeah, right now,
knocking out bangers.
(MUTTERING)
My dick sucks ♪
- My dick sucks ♪
- Hold up.
Hold the fuck up.
Ain't you the YouTube rapper
with the small dick?
Fuck! ♪
My dick sucks ♪
My dick sucks, my dick sucks ♪
- Fuck! ♪
- Even though my dick is shorty ♪
It sit there like it's Gotti ♪
And it do good work like Gandhi ♪
And it might grow more like Brawny ♪
Probably not, got
bitches in the lobby ♪
Their body language obvi ♪
If five inches the over-under,
I'm underdog like Rocky ♪
They don't care about my cock ♪
I could use a pussy mop ♪
On the radio like cops ♪
She saw me and went in shock ♪
Technically I'm unemployed ♪
- But I'm pretty sure I'm gonna work ♪
- Work. ♪