Decoys (2020) s01e05 Episode Script
Mixer?
1
♪
Private event, sorry, folks!
Private event, carvers only.
It's a little night-before
shindig for the competitors.
A chance for them to talk about
the latest news, socialize.
I just pray we can get through
this alive.
It's a little cocktail hour,
that's all.
You mix alcohol and wood,
you get fire.
Okay, some of our competitors
are unique, yes.
But that's what makes
the Northern Alberta Carving Cup
so special.
God help us.
Whichever god you pray to.
♪
Is this ink toxic?
- Oh, hello, Frank!
- Hey!
Let's just verify that
you're on the list
and we'll get Dennis here to set
you up with your hand stamp.
Early bird as usual.
It says four o'clock on the
invitation, Dennis.
Well, look at that.
It's four o'clock.
Yup.
How we coming along with that
list, Barb?
Just a few technical
difficulties.
There's no technical
difficulties
with good old paper.
No, no, that's the back up
emergency paper list.
We are operating digitally
this year.
Well, this seems like a little
bit of an emergency,
don't you think?
Yes.
Oh, yes, see? There I am.
Whoa, you made a mistake, Barb.
Or is this some kind of
sick joke?
It says here that Donald
Sinclair is competing this year.
Don't you think that would be a
little difficult,
him being dead and all?
Ah! Oh, no, no, no, Frank.
That's not a mistake, actually.
That's his son,
they have the same name.
♪
How do you lock the key inside?
Good evening, Barbara, Dennis.
Allow me to introduce my lovely
wife, Simran.
- Very nice to meet you.
- It's a pleasure.
Speaking of pleasure, Amandeep,
it is with great pleasure
that I welcome you to
your very first
Carver's Night Before Mixer!
Welcome carver!
Oh, stop it, guys!
Listen, it was just a matter
of time.
Being such a fan and all,
you know?
We knew that eventually, I had
to whet my bill!
Well, enjoy your evening!
Thank you.
Babe, do you know who this is?
Recognize the voice?
This is the MC, Dennis!
From that law firm commercial on
the radio? AM 620?
Aman, come on.
Will you just do it once for us?
Oh, please! I'm working right
now, I can't.
Please?
Were you hurt in an accident?
Well, we won't put a dent in
your pocket,
because we only get paid
- When you win.
- When you win.
Oh! Wow! Okay, that's where I
recognized it from.
Yeah, they went bankrupt,
but Whatever.
I never really fully got paid,
but good experience.
Mary Jane Olinyuk.
Hi, yeah. Donald.
Ah, you're a virgin, right?
I I've had sex.
Oh, no, no, I mean first time
competing in the competition.
I didn't mean, like, sex. Hah.
Jeez, Mary Jane. Don't make
it weird.
Uh, yeah, it is my first time.
But you probably know my dad,
Donald Sinclair.
Oh, no. He's dead.
Yeah. He passed away shortly
after last year's competition.
Okay, uh, new topic. Come on,
Mary Jane, pivot.
No more dead dad stuff. Umm
- What was your name again?
- My name's Donald.
Oh, that's your dead dad's
name, hey?
Yeah, well
Um, you your parents are both
with us?
Yeah, I mean, maybe
I haven't checked my phone all
day, so probably.
Your name Donald?
Never mind.
Merganser.
No, no, no. Canvasback.
Pardon me?
That's what you carved.
I can tell.
From your energy.
Oh, no, no. I'm not a carver.
I'm here supporting my
boyfriend.
Well, if you ever decided to
take the leap,
I'm pretty sure that would be
your first species.
- Oh yeah?
- Mm-hm.
That's if you have the
fortitude.
What do you mean?
Art is not for everyone.
Really?
Yeah.
It's like, the scariest thinu'.
Oh.
Anyway, art is one of those
things
that just makes everything else
pale in comparison.
So if you do take the plunge,
I just hope that your stomach is
strong enough for it.
Oh, well, I'm an ER doctor, so I
should be okay.
Oh my gosh, it's like, two of us
that are saving lives!
I moved out from Toronto
this year. Um, new career.
Down with the corporate world!
Fievel went west,
as they say.
That's one of my favourite
films.
Me too!
And what, may I ask, do you do
whilst you're not shaping birds?
- I'm a beekeeper.
- Oh, that's so funny!
I haven't heard any bumblings
about that.
Strange, because there's been
quite the buzz.
- Mary Jane.
- Mr. Brunswick.
- Your name Donald?
- I mean, who's asking?
Me. Frank Brunswick.
Oh, no. I am I'm sorry, my
name is Shane.
Oh, are you looking for Donald
Sinclair's son?
Uh, I saw him earlier.
Apparently he's been taking
lessons with Rhett, so
Rhett?!
God damn it.
So where were we?
Oh, well, we were in the middle
of some pun-flirting.
Is there any other kind?
Oh, God, you are
my kind of woman.
You really are the bee's knees
Shh.
You're about to get some honey,
bee man.
Buzz, buzz.
Sometimes people need that
little injection
that reminds them what we're
here for.
And what you'll find out, buddy,
is that everybody here
is an illusion in the face
of art.
There is no olive.
Skin is like paper.
You draw on it, and it tells
you the way.
I read that silly rule book
of theirs,
don't even get me started.
You know, Donald would rather
stay in on a Friday night
than go out with me.
He chooses duck carving
over this!
Look, listen, okay?
The more time he spends with
that duck, the better.
For the first time since we've
been married,
I finally have me-time,
and it is brilliant.
Does Amandeep talk to it?
- Every morning.
- No
He says "good morning, ducky!
How did you sleep, ducky?"
- He doesn't even ask me that.
- Oh.
Yeah, and he does these
breathing exercises.
- No
- Mm-hm!
You know, I don't think Donald
changed his flannel once
the entire time he was carving.
Mm-hm, it's like they want to
wear a uniform, right?
Like little boy playing
dress up.
I know! Exactly!
- Cheers.
- Cheers, yeah.
- No ins or outs, Zeke.
- This isn't a bordello.
I know.
Well, it's not a bordello
anymore.
Oh, come on. I was only kidding.
- I get it, it is funny.
- It's yeah.
- You must be Donald.
- Yeah.
- Sinclair.
- Yeah.
And you have a bird in this
year's competition?
I do, yeah.
Can I give you a little advice?
By all means, yeah.
So why don't you take your
millennial irony
- and shove it up your ass?
- Pardon me?
There are people
who care about carving
and have been
doing it for years!
And you waltz in here with that
funky haircut
and you act like you deserve
to be here!
You should get some
respect, kid.
Who the hell do you think
you are?
Holy crap, he is rude!
Oh, he's just a grumpy old man.
- Let's get out of here.
- Yeah.
♪
Double this time.
Excuse me, make it a double
as well.
My chances of winning?
Come on, guys.
I haven't even thought about it
that far. I mean, phew!
Hey, Frankie, can I get your a
triple? Huh?
Sir, please make it two triples.
I'm just happy I'm just happy
being able to participate.
I'm happy to be part of the
fraternity.
Hey, Frankie, can we do a
cheers?
You know, the real competition
was here, inside.
Just getting here is the
victory.
Oh my God.
Everything else is just the
cherry on top, you know?
I'm having a blast.
I see us having a good
relationship together.
You know, it's rare.
And it's going to get rarer.
I'm a fraud.
My dad was so good at this,
and I thought I could just whip
something together.
Tomorrow is gonna be so
embarrassing.
No, no, no, no! You are
not a fraud.
And you didn't just whip
something together.
You have been busting your ass
for this for months.
And sure, it's your first year,
but you've taken all the right
steps, yeah?
You got a little help, but it's
been you, Donald.
And it's been really cool
watching you work so hard at
something.
I believe in you.
You've got this.
Thank you.
♪
Private event, sorry, folks!
Private event, carvers only.
It's a little night-before
shindig for the competitors.
A chance for them to talk about
the latest news, socialize.
I just pray we can get through
this alive.
It's a little cocktail hour,
that's all.
You mix alcohol and wood,
you get fire.
Okay, some of our competitors
are unique, yes.
But that's what makes
the Northern Alberta Carving Cup
so special.
God help us.
Whichever god you pray to.
♪
Is this ink toxic?
- Oh, hello, Frank!
- Hey!
Let's just verify that
you're on the list
and we'll get Dennis here to set
you up with your hand stamp.
Early bird as usual.
It says four o'clock on the
invitation, Dennis.
Well, look at that.
It's four o'clock.
Yup.
How we coming along with that
list, Barb?
Just a few technical
difficulties.
There's no technical
difficulties
with good old paper.
No, no, that's the back up
emergency paper list.
We are operating digitally
this year.
Well, this seems like a little
bit of an emergency,
don't you think?
Yes.
Oh, yes, see? There I am.
Whoa, you made a mistake, Barb.
Or is this some kind of
sick joke?
It says here that Donald
Sinclair is competing this year.
Don't you think that would be a
little difficult,
him being dead and all?
Ah! Oh, no, no, no, Frank.
That's not a mistake, actually.
That's his son,
they have the same name.
♪
How do you lock the key inside?
Good evening, Barbara, Dennis.
Allow me to introduce my lovely
wife, Simran.
- Very nice to meet you.
- It's a pleasure.
Speaking of pleasure, Amandeep,
it is with great pleasure
that I welcome you to
your very first
Carver's Night Before Mixer!
Welcome carver!
Oh, stop it, guys!
Listen, it was just a matter
of time.
Being such a fan and all,
you know?
We knew that eventually, I had
to whet my bill!
Well, enjoy your evening!
Thank you.
Babe, do you know who this is?
Recognize the voice?
This is the MC, Dennis!
From that law firm commercial on
the radio? AM 620?
Aman, come on.
Will you just do it once for us?
Oh, please! I'm working right
now, I can't.
Please?
Were you hurt in an accident?
Well, we won't put a dent in
your pocket,
because we only get paid
- When you win.
- When you win.
Oh! Wow! Okay, that's where I
recognized it from.
Yeah, they went bankrupt,
but Whatever.
I never really fully got paid,
but good experience.
Mary Jane Olinyuk.
Hi, yeah. Donald.
Ah, you're a virgin, right?
I I've had sex.
Oh, no, no, I mean first time
competing in the competition.
I didn't mean, like, sex. Hah.
Jeez, Mary Jane. Don't make
it weird.
Uh, yeah, it is my first time.
But you probably know my dad,
Donald Sinclair.
Oh, no. He's dead.
Yeah. He passed away shortly
after last year's competition.
Okay, uh, new topic. Come on,
Mary Jane, pivot.
No more dead dad stuff. Umm
- What was your name again?
- My name's Donald.
Oh, that's your dead dad's
name, hey?
Yeah, well
Um, you your parents are both
with us?
Yeah, I mean, maybe
I haven't checked my phone all
day, so probably.
Your name Donald?
Never mind.
Merganser.
No, no, no. Canvasback.
Pardon me?
That's what you carved.
I can tell.
From your energy.
Oh, no, no. I'm not a carver.
I'm here supporting my
boyfriend.
Well, if you ever decided to
take the leap,
I'm pretty sure that would be
your first species.
- Oh yeah?
- Mm-hm.
That's if you have the
fortitude.
What do you mean?
Art is not for everyone.
Really?
Yeah.
It's like, the scariest thinu'.
Oh.
Anyway, art is one of those
things
that just makes everything else
pale in comparison.
So if you do take the plunge,
I just hope that your stomach is
strong enough for it.
Oh, well, I'm an ER doctor, so I
should be okay.
Oh my gosh, it's like, two of us
that are saving lives!
I moved out from Toronto
this year. Um, new career.
Down with the corporate world!
Fievel went west,
as they say.
That's one of my favourite
films.
Me too!
And what, may I ask, do you do
whilst you're not shaping birds?
- I'm a beekeeper.
- Oh, that's so funny!
I haven't heard any bumblings
about that.
Strange, because there's been
quite the buzz.
- Mary Jane.
- Mr. Brunswick.
- Your name Donald?
- I mean, who's asking?
Me. Frank Brunswick.
Oh, no. I am I'm sorry, my
name is Shane.
Oh, are you looking for Donald
Sinclair's son?
Uh, I saw him earlier.
Apparently he's been taking
lessons with Rhett, so
Rhett?!
God damn it.
So where were we?
Oh, well, we were in the middle
of some pun-flirting.
Is there any other kind?
Oh, God, you are
my kind of woman.
You really are the bee's knees
Shh.
You're about to get some honey,
bee man.
Buzz, buzz.
Sometimes people need that
little injection
that reminds them what we're
here for.
And what you'll find out, buddy,
is that everybody here
is an illusion in the face
of art.
There is no olive.
Skin is like paper.
You draw on it, and it tells
you the way.
I read that silly rule book
of theirs,
don't even get me started.
You know, Donald would rather
stay in on a Friday night
than go out with me.
He chooses duck carving
over this!
Look, listen, okay?
The more time he spends with
that duck, the better.
For the first time since we've
been married,
I finally have me-time,
and it is brilliant.
Does Amandeep talk to it?
- Every morning.
- No
He says "good morning, ducky!
How did you sleep, ducky?"
- He doesn't even ask me that.
- Oh.
Yeah, and he does these
breathing exercises.
- No
- Mm-hm!
You know, I don't think Donald
changed his flannel once
the entire time he was carving.
Mm-hm, it's like they want to
wear a uniform, right?
Like little boy playing
dress up.
I know! Exactly!
- Cheers.
- Cheers, yeah.
- No ins or outs, Zeke.
- This isn't a bordello.
I know.
Well, it's not a bordello
anymore.
Oh, come on. I was only kidding.
- I get it, it is funny.
- It's yeah.
- You must be Donald.
- Yeah.
- Sinclair.
- Yeah.
And you have a bird in this
year's competition?
I do, yeah.
Can I give you a little advice?
By all means, yeah.
So why don't you take your
millennial irony
- and shove it up your ass?
- Pardon me?
There are people
who care about carving
and have been
doing it for years!
And you waltz in here with that
funky haircut
and you act like you deserve
to be here!
You should get some
respect, kid.
Who the hell do you think
you are?
Holy crap, he is rude!
Oh, he's just a grumpy old man.
- Let's get out of here.
- Yeah.
♪
Double this time.
Excuse me, make it a double
as well.
My chances of winning?
Come on, guys.
I haven't even thought about it
that far. I mean, phew!
Hey, Frankie, can I get your a
triple? Huh?
Sir, please make it two triples.
I'm just happy I'm just happy
being able to participate.
I'm happy to be part of the
fraternity.
Hey, Frankie, can we do a
cheers?
You know, the real competition
was here, inside.
Just getting here is the
victory.
Oh my God.
Everything else is just the
cherry on top, you know?
I'm having a blast.
I see us having a good
relationship together.
You know, it's rare.
And it's going to get rarer.
I'm a fraud.
My dad was so good at this,
and I thought I could just whip
something together.
Tomorrow is gonna be so
embarrassing.
No, no, no, no! You are
not a fraud.
And you didn't just whip
something together.
You have been busting your ass
for this for months.
And sure, it's your first year,
but you've taken all the right
steps, yeah?
You got a little help, but it's
been you, Donald.
And it's been really cool
watching you work so hard at
something.
I believe in you.
You've got this.
Thank you.