Dietland (2018) s01e05 Episode Script

1 Previously on "Dietland" - Mama.
- [DOOR CLOSES.]
I needed a little sugar.
How are my girls? Some anxiety about Jennifer.
Well, that's to be expected.
Actually, most of them are in favor.
We're publishing the manifesto on the cover of every girls' and women's magazine in your catalog.
They're gonna fly off the shelves.
We, uh, want to make her Bangable.
That's it.
- [TAPE RIPS.]
- The next step is dating.
I think they're a cult, and they're probably connected to Jennifer.
You help me crack this, think of the story you're gonna write.
Valley of the cannibal girls Giver of my life Lead us not into temptation Sign my neck, sign my hands Pull my fingers from my nipples Lead us not into temptation Christen my power, tomorrow is the day Lead us not into temptation [PLUM.]
Vaginas.
Stella Cross was cashing in on hers.
Meanwhile, I had never even looked at mine.
But we'll get back to that.
[NEWSCAST.]
Uproar at King Elementary School as girls in a sixth grade class have started their own chapter of Jennifer.
Fearing retribution [PLUM.]
Surreal news was the new normal.
Little girls were siding with terrorists while I just sat there, waiting for a gentlemen caller.
I knew once he laid eyes on me I'd get what I call "The Stare.
" It sprang from a mixture of revulsion - [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
- and disappointment.
[VERENA.]
And what happened? Oh wow.
He didn't even try to hide it.
This isn't gonna work out.
[VERENA.]
And how'd that make you feel? [THUNDER CRASHES, RAIN FALLS.]
It's not like I wasn't expecting something like that.
[VERENA.]
That is not what I asked.
Well, how would it make you feel? I would be hurt and confused, but if a man was that dis Maybe you should feel responsible.
I hear you, I do.
I I recognize how painful this is for you.
I want to keep going.
But may I make two requests? Sure.
Could I meet the rest of my dates out someplace? I don't love people strangers knowing where I live.
Of course.
And? And then could you tell them how I look? Before the date.
I I actually did describe you.
But I mean, a picture is worth a thousands words.
- [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
- Come.
Where do you want these? Right there, love.
Thank you.
- Ah, perfect.
- Need anything else? No.
Thank you, love.
Clive is my partner.
As is Jake.
- Seriously? - Seriously.
That's kind of awesome.
Well, marriage is just an arrangement.
It can be whatever you want as long as you don't care what people think.
The flowers are beautiful.
That was thoughtful of you.
Seemed wrong to trash 'em.
It's the first time a guy has actually given me flowers.
So, what happens after the dating portion, are we done? How about we stay in this phase? It would help me if I knew what to expect.
I'm not sure it would.
I need you in a feeling state during these exercises, not a thinking state.
So What are your impressions of the New Baptist Plan so far? Eye-opening.
I'm really feeling differently about my surgery.
I hadn't realized how drastic is was.
I'm considering canceling it.
If I can't have the surgery when this is all over, I might actually kill someone.
I mean, I get to keep the money, right? Like, if we find something, it doesn't become evidence or something? No.
You worked for it.
That money's yours.
What do you think about it? The bypass, I mean.
Everybody has an opinion.
It doesn't matter what I think.
It's what do you think? I think it's a bad idea a lot less than I think it's a good idea.
[DOMINIC CHUCKLES.]
I don't know.
Okay.
After her second kid, my sister, she wanted surgery.
Now, not the same as yours, but A boob job? Yeah.
So anyway, everyone gave her a hard time about it.
My mom, her husband, even me.
Now, she didn't care.
She did exactly what she wanted to do.
And? Oh, she loves her new boobs.
Well, good for her.
She older or younger, your sister? Uh, older, that one.
I got a younger one, too.
Oh! Sandwiched by the ladies.
A sister sandwich.
That was creepy.
She married too? Little sister? She is.
She's got a baby on the way.
- Hmm.
That makes you the only - Yeah, you know, dark horse.
It's the work.
You know, the job just makes the, uh You know, it's just hard, marriage.
- And children? No interest? - Eh, you know.
Tell you what, I am interested in one of these.
You want one? No, thanks.
So, my second date's tonight.
Aiden.
He's a human rights activist.
You think you should be writing some of this down? In case one of these guys is the type to recruit a big gal into domestic terrorism.
I'm sorry.
Date two.
Aiden.
Activist.
Human rights activist.
Human rights You sure you're a cop? TV cops write stuff down.
A lot.
No, you see, actually writers write stuff down.
Us cops, we solve things.
With the help of writers.
- Yes.
- Yes.
In this case, that's true.
Well, clearly, you don't find these dates Verena's sending me on so compelling.
How would you like me to help you? VERENA.
I want more on her.
And I don't mean the Wikipedia rap, because we all have her official bio.
I'm talking about the other stuff.
Who she knows, unusual interests You think VERENA could be the one involved with Jennifer? She's got deep pockets.
I mean, someone's funding 'em, right? May I? VERENA.
Who was she? No Wiki stuff.
Smartass.
Just kidding.
I'll keep it forever.
[CHERYL, ON TV.]
Welcome back.
And now, our lead story.
While authorities work to figure out just who is behind Jennifer, we're learning more about the "why," thanks in part to my next guest Austen Media chief content officer Kitty Montgomery.
- Welcome, Kitty.
- Thank you for having me, Cheryl.
Several days ago, you made the controversial decision to print the Jennifer manifesto across all Austen Media publications.
Women's publications, but yes.
I am responsible for making that decision.
Take me to that moment when you received the manifesto.
Sure.
Well, I remember reading it and thinking to myself, "This anger, it's "So authentic.
"So real.
" I really heard it loud and clear.
And the decision to go to print That couldn't have been easy.
Actually, it was.
Because of their threats, "Print our manifesto, or else"? Were you worried that the threats might come to fruition? Honestly, it had less to do with their threats and more to do with Look, in no way does Austen Media condone violence, but we are very proud to be the catalyst for an important conversation.
Women have been angry for a long time.
A long time.
So is it really so surprising that after all the abuse they've taken they are finally fighting back with deadly force instead of just words? [KITTY.]
You know, I get these letters, Cheryl, from my girls A lot of whom are troubled.
Struggling with all kinds of issues Insecurities, abuse.
Ever since Jennifer, many of these young women feel less alone.
And that's Well, that's significant.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
You must be Plum? Or, uh, maybe I have - the wrong - No, I'm Plum.
I'm her.
How did you know? Oh, I-I have a location at this place.
And And And a description.
Ah.
Well, um, so you're Aiden? Wait.
What? No, I'm Bruce.
[LAUGHS.]
Sorry.
Ah.
Sorry, I kid around when I'm nervous.
And now you know I'm nervous.
Uh, um, I am too.
[NERVOUS LAUGHTER.]
I guess I was worried that, I don't know, you might have expectations.
No expectations.
Let's just, uh We can be nervous together.
I do, however, have reservations.
[LAUGHS.]
- After you.
- Okay.
You're coming on pretty strong, you know? Have you forgotten that our corporate overlords are the same guys getting threats? You mean Stanley? He told me to do what I wanted.
Stanley seems pretty checked out lately.
Was he even listening? You know what he'll listen to? The sales numbers.
For all the manifesto issues, double-digit growth across the board.
I sent out a tweet that we were losing subscribers, Daisy Chain got 11,000 new paid users in 45 minutes.
- Jesus.
- I know.
- It's like a dream.
- A dream.
- Is this just business to you? - What? You give these terrorists the thumbs-up, and what happens when men have had enough? The War of the Sexes won't be a metaphor anymore.
Oh, please.
Don't be dramatic.
We have a social contract in this country.
We have a First Amendment in this country.
The free flow of ideas, even radical ones If my readers want Jennifer, it's my job to deliver.
Even if people die because of you? Come on.
Tell me you haven't thought about it.
All those years of being demeaned and harassed and screwed over just because we wanted to sit at the table with the big boys? You know these guys.
They don't listen to "please" or fairness.
Tell me you've never wished you could pull the trigger.
That is not the same as doing it.
I am not doing it.
I'm finding my voice.
And if that proves profitable, all the better.
Is it your voice? I mean, I know we're all confused, we're goddamn traumatized That's enough.
Stay in your goddamn lane, Cheryl.
Environmentalists are always talking about how Humans are destroying the planet, right? And, like, we totally are.
But we're also destroying each other.
I mean, I've been all over the world, and lemme tell you, the things I've seen? Shocking.
Swaziland? Gambia? I heard that things were better in Gambia since Yahya Jammeh lost power.
Wow.
Most people don't know Gambia from Namibia.
[CHUCKLES.]
I do a lot of crosswords.
[LAUGHS.]
But I mean, you hardly need to travel the world to know that people are destroying each other.
- I mean, like Jennifer.
- Horrifying.
I mean, I get where they're coming from, but Their methods are totally insane.
I mean, not all men are animals.
I hope not.
I hope I'm a good guy.
I try to be.
You seem pretty OK.
So far.
[CHUCKLES.]
Um I, uh I need to confess something.
OK.
I've, um Never dated anybody with [STAMMERS.]
s-somebody like you.
Uh, larger I Look, I just I want to be real with you 'cause, like, I'm kind of a A fitness freak? And so I almost said no right out of the gate, but then I thought, "No, expand your horizons, expand your thinking" So I'm kind of like a social studies project.
"Date a big girl.
" No.
Shit, no.
Um I'm sorry, no, that That was my, um, fully awkward way of saying You're not what I expected.
What did you expect? [BASSO COCKNEY ACCENT.]
Better get a bucket! Monty Python.
"Meaning of Life.
" Ah.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh, yeah, I deserved that.
Oh, man.
But now, I, um, I'm not really sure, but, um.
.
You're smart and funny and, um I'm really enjoying this.
That's all.
[MAN.]
Are we done working here? Uh, yes, yes, please.
Thank you.
Would you like to see a dessert menu? Uh sure.
Why not? And a coffee for me, please.
But only if it's fair trade.
- Coffee for you as well? - I'm fine with water, thank you.
So, where were we? Ah, right.
I was digging myself deep into a verbal hole.
Again.
[LAUGHS SOFTLY.]
Uh, I'm gonna run to the ladies'.
I'm sorry.
- Oh, uh, no.
Cool.
- I'll be right back.
Hey, Plum? Monty Python was the shit.
[WOMAN.]
Maybe he's her brother.
Actually, he's my date.
Enjoy your salmon.
Am I too dangerous? For you dear Scared of a little smoke And the music's too loud for your ears You've been wastin' Wastin' all my time Life's too short for you, baby, playin' victim To my crime So you heard the story [MUSIC FADES.]
[CHAIR CLATTERS.]
[VERENA.]
So when you came back and found him gone, what did you think? Honestly? "Screw you, VERENA.
" Good.
Tell me why.
If you're trying to convince me not to have the surgery, this is hardly helping.
For the record, I'm really not invested in the surgery, other than wishing it was safer for you.
I thought this was all about fat acceptance.
- Dieting is murder? - That's an oversimplification.
What I wish for you is a better connection with yourself, whatever shape you end up.
- I don't even know what that means.
- That's OK for now.
Let's just stay with: How did you feel when you found Aiden had left? I felt humiliated.
I let myself I let my guard down.
Having that guard up is important? [VOICE BREAKING.]
It's everything.
No expectations, I don't get hurt.
As hurt.
That is a tough way to live.
It's interesting you go there.
It never even occurs to you that maybe it's the people who judge you who need to change? - Well, good luck with that.
- You think it's impossible? I think it would take a revolution.
I'm not holding my breath.
Even Aiden wanted to be a good guy.
He can't handle it.
You can't force someone to like something the whole world tells them is gross and unhealthy.
Even Jennifer can't make people cool with someone like me.
Not that I think you're them.
It's OK.
Marlowe told me about your questions.
I hope she reassured you.
Yeah, totally.
[SIGHS, CHUCKLES.]
[CAMERA CLICKS.]
[CAMERA CLICKS.]
No technology in Calliope House.
- I'm sorry.
I I just - [PHONE BUZZES.]
Uh, it's the office.
I have to [PHONE BUZZING.]
Hello? Sit down.
Sit down.
What's going on? Eladio said it was urgent? Oh, believe me, it is.
Did you see me on "Murphy's Law" last night? I did.
It You were great.
Thanks.
You know who else thought I was great? Everybody.
My social media's on steroids.
Wow, that's really incredible.
So I want you to write something, something for next month's Daisy.
Something by me, of course.
You don't need that.
The assignment's simple.
Expand on what I talked about on TV, more about my decision to publish the manifesto, that I stand behind it, and I support the conversation it started.
Do you see it, Plum? Do you see what I see? I do.
I see it.
Fantastic.
Let's let my girls know I've got their backs Now more than ever.
OK.
I'll get right on it.
Plum.
I'll be honest.
I thought maybe you were too much of an outlier for Daisy Chain.
But now it's all about outliers.
Plus, you've been making a real effort lately.
I think you actually look slimmer.
I I am, some.
I I also You keep killing it Metaphorically, of course I see a bright future for you here.
A byline Maybe even your own office.
Who knows? Kitty.
I Thank you.
Oh, no, Plum Thank you.
[PHONE BUZZING.]
[HARD ROCK PLAYING OVER SOUND SYSTEM.]
Another glass of champagne? Just the check.
Thanks.
I thought we were waiting for a mystery man.
We were.
What the hell? Holy shit.
What is it? Stella Cross.
- Larry.
Larry! - [LARRY SCREAMING.]
Larry! Larry! God!!! - Yes? - Verena's expecting me.
- Verena's busy.
- Wait.
- We're supposed to meet - No.
Not today.
Sorry.
[CHERYL, ON TV.]
Tragic ending today for adult film star turned entrepreneur Stella Cross.
The scene in the cemetery is grisly and surreal.
Evidently, Ms.
Cross was set on a makeshift funeral pyre doused with gasoline.
Another casualty, a yet-unnamed groundskeeper, is in the hospital, having sustained life-threatening burns.
We await word on his condition.
Done? Sent.
Great.
Now can we talk about the date? There's not much to talk about.
He stood me up.
Or he saw me and left before I saw him.
Jesus Christ, why would VERENA do that to you? She's not doing anything.
It's the way it is.
Women in my Waist Watcher's meetings are on Tinder.
This happens all the time.
No-shows, hecklers fetish guys.
- Fetish guys? - Yeah.
I'm afraid to ask.
Like, the zeta males of the dating world.
Chubby chasers or whatever.
Wait a minute.
Wait one minute.
[TV.]
quite a scene here at the cemetery.
The terrorist group known as Jennifer has claimed responsibility for the grisly murder of adult film actress and fashion entrepreneur Stella Cross.
And while there's no word yet on where or when Ms.
Cross was actually killed, - one thing is certain - [STEVEN.]
Holy shit.
- Jennifer has taken - [PLUM.]
She was a porn star? its first female life.
Wait, wait.
You're kidding, right? You know who Stella Cross is? - A model.
- [STEVEN SCOFFS.]
She sells jeans and stuff.
- [PHONE BUZZING.]
- Wow.
Hey, Eladio.
Yeah, I just sent in the - [ELADIO.]
Have you seen the news today? - Yeah, just now.
OK, change of plans.
Kitty wants you to write something about Stella.
OK.
[PLUM.]
Since having sex and masturbating weren't my jam, I had no idea Stella Cross was a porn star, and not just any porn star.
Gangbangs and rape porn were her specialties.
She literally broke her vagina from all the abuse it took.
It was obvious why Jennifer targeted her.
She normalized sexual violence.
She was rape culture's poster girl who also sold jeans and makeup in the pages of women's magazines.
Did you know rape porn is a thing? I mean, I know crocodile wrestling's a thing, and jerkin' off to Rachel Ray.
It doesn't mean I do any of it.
What about facial abuse? Men choking women with their dicks until they vomit.
- That's popular now.
- Look, men are stupid, OK? We're animals.
Seriously.
You really think I'm safe at Calliope now? If they're associated with Jennifer and they find out what I'm up to What we are up to Plum, you don't have to do anything you're uncomfortable with.
I mean, I know Stella Cross was a very particular kind of woman That's a very nice way of putting it.
A lot of people would say that she was a victim.
To make her pay for our sins, it just feels like I mean, who knows who they'll come after next? You do what you want to do.
I'm serious.
But I'm tellin' you I've got your back.
I found something.
Maybe.
I don't know who she is, but she looks familiar.
Yeah, she looks familiar to me, too.
- Can you send me these? - Yeah.
So, how's the program goin'? [CHUCKLES.]
Your dates treatin' you all right? - Honestly, no.
- [PHONE BUZZING.]
The first guy showed VERENA.
[BELL DINGS.]
Daisy Chain, how may I direct your call.
[KITTY.]
First of all, you told me to do what I wanted.
Yes, that was before.
Those crazies were only killing men.
- Men don't buy our magazines.
- I'm on top of it.
- I'm doing a piece on Stella.
- You went on television and aligned us with terrorists, Kitty.
I went on television and aligned us with a movement.
They killed Stella Cross.
It's disgusting, it's terrible.
And you should be glad we're not making enemies of those people.
Kitty, this is You're right.
I did say to do what you wanted.
So this is my fault.
I thought you were ready to lead, and clearly you weren't, so this is on me.
We can figure this out.
I know we can.
Together.
That's not in the cards.
I'm afraid we're looking at a regime change.
[VERENA.]
Sorry about not being able to meet earlier.
It's been a tough day.
- [SIGHS.]
- Stella Cross? Yeah.
Some of the women in the house are very, very unsettled.
The graphic nature of it, and Kitty's having me write a piece about her.
I'm turning it in after this.
Really? What kind of piece? Balanced, I hope.
I understand what Jennifer's angry about, but I feel like they might be undermining their message with this kind of violence.
Yeah.
A lot of people want to write them off as rage-filled lesbians - and psychos.
- Yeah.
On the other hand, though, Jennifer's manifesto makes a pretty good case that taking up arms is women's only recourse.
But do we become just like the perpetrators if we use their methods? It was only 200 words.
Wasn't a deep dive.
Well, I'm I'm proud of you.
Seems like you're making new opportunities for yourself.
So The date.
How was Raymond? Raymond was a no-show.
He stood you up.
What a peach, huh? - Ohh.
- Where are you finding these men? My dentist is quite the matchmaker.
Your dentist? She's also a good friend.
Let's try something.
Um, tell me about your ideal man.
Your guess is as good as mine.
Or your dentist's.
OK, so, your final date.
How are you feeling? [EXHALES.]
Like I want to get it over with.
Could you Don't just tell him that I'm plus-sized.
Tell him I'm huge.
If that's what you want.
I want him to know what he's in for.
[KITTY.]
All those years of hard work down the goddamn drain.
[JULIA.]
It's not like he fired you.
I'm management now.
Staffing decisions? Budgets? That's not me.
My creative wings have been completely clipped.
No editorial power.
No more "Dear Kitty.
" No more face! Well, it's like I'm him.
Or like he used to be.
Maybe it's good you're behind the scenes.
For now.
Safer.
[SNIFFLES.]
Oh, God.
Are you crying? I know.
It's just It's just Stella Cross Jennifer.
All this craziness.
It's just Iit's gotten out of control.
I worry.
You should worry.
We all need to worry.
Like what I've done with it? Kitty.
Is everything Um, I I finished the Stella Cross piece.
You know how long I've been here, Plum? At Austen Media? - No.
- A long time.
A very long time.
Let me Here.
Let me get that.
I'll I've got it.
Besides, you've done enough.
Is everything [FLICKING LIGHTER.]
Um, I just I came to bring this by, and I wanted to I know it was a really tragic circumstance, but it was really eye-opening, and I wanted to thank you for the opportunity.
I was right about you, Plum.
Well Then I was wrong.
But my gut instinct was right.
What were you? Before me? Nothing.
Writing for free on some blog? I made you.
And this is the thanks I get? Excuse me? Do you know what I went through to get here? What I really went through? I sucked a lot of dick.
The actual dick was a picnic compared to the assholes I had to flatter and humor and cater to while the whole goddamn time I was smarter and better at the job.
But I did it.
I smiled and nodded and took loads of shit.
All to get to the day Stanley would say, "Do what you want, Kitty.
I trust you.
" [LAUGHING.]
What did I do? I listened to you.
I never - It was your choice - Yeah.
Maybe.
But you went out of your way to convince me that you were something other than what you are A basement-dwelling malcontent with an axe to grind.
That's not fair.
Yeah, probably not.
But news flash: life's not fair.
You're fired.
Here.
Are you mentally ill? - Kitty, I love my job.
- Put that down.
You're right.
You are.
You made me.
That's why I'm having bypass surgery.
Once I'm thin, I'm gonna write a before-and-after all about how you inspired me to find my best self.
Please, Kitty.
All I've ever wanted to be is a writer.
A real one.
Suck my dick, Plum.
[PLUM SIGHS.]
[CHATTER.]
[PLUM.]
I was in no mood for my last date after Kitty fired me.
But all of a sudden, Verena's $20,000 meant even more to me.
I needed that money.
[MAN.]
Wow.
Sorry? They told me you were stunning, but Color me stunned.
I am so sorry.
I'm Jack.
I'm the, uh I'm I'm your date.
I I thought that H-Hi, Jack.
I'm Plum.
Wow, you have a great smile.
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY.]
What? What's the deal? Are you, like, into big chicks or something? [LAUGHS.]
I'm What do you Just with this flattery.
It's a little unusual.
Uh, well, you You do have a lovely smile.
OK, sure.
Would it offend you if I I said that I I do like big girls? I I'm just I'm I'm just not attracted to skinny women.
Uh I guess it's better than the alternative.
They have really good trucks here.
You like burgers? I do, but I'm on a You know what? I love burgers.
All right.
It's good, right? Let's get some fries.
Ayyy up! My boyfriend wants to talk You don't like fries? Not really, but I like that you're enjoying them so much.
Come on.
Try one.
I feel like something more forbidden.
You could eat the whole bowl, couldn't you? I want you to.
I want to watch you.
Or what I had before, he's just a Come on, you know you want it.
- Come on, I'm kind of full.
- No.
It's all good.
Why don't you eat it? 'Cause when you eat it, I get so hard.
- Excuse me? - You're my dream girl.
You're so lush, you're Rubenesque, your face, it's a ten, your body is - Stop.
- What? I thought I thought I'm sorry.
I thought you were You thought what? Since I'm fat, I should be desperate? I'll be grateful for whatever I can get? [LAUGHS.]
Guess what.
Your face is a three.
Four, tops.
But I was willing to overlook that, maybe, because you seemed nice.
You're just like the rest of 'em.
You're a creep and a user.
You should climb back into the slimy little cuck cage you came from, pervert.
I Screw you Jack.
[PLUM.]
My last date.
Over.
And I was gripped by a sensation I had never allowed myself to feel before.
[THUNDER RUMBLES, LIGHTNING CRASHES.]
Kitty had said it.
I was a basement-dwelling malcontent.
And that's how I felt.
Like a creature Less than human.
What did it matter what a creature does? Who cares about consequences when you aren't even afforded the consideration of a dog? [MAN.]
Here ya go.
- Jesus! - Sorry.
Get your eyes off your food, fat-ass, and watch where you're going.
[THUNDER CRACKLES.]
Are you kidding me?! [ROARS.]
Plum.
Hey.
You OK? Come on.
I gotcha.
I appreciate it, man.
I owe ya.
No worries.
Kelly says thanks for the makeup.
She wants me to quit now too because your perks are better.
Sure.
Hope you like kale.
That's all he Hey.
How ya doin' there, miss? Not great.
Plum, this is Bob.
Uh Officer Rodgers.
If you want to press charges, you just come down to the precinct tomorrow.
OK? Tomorrow? I don't need to go down tonight? I already gave an eye witness account, so that's good for now.
It is? It is for Dom.
Hey, gonna have you and the family over for sauce, OK? Oh, and, uh, I should have that information for you soon.
I was a detective.
Now I'm a PI.
Kitty didn't want to wait for the proper channels to find out who was dirty at Austen, so she, uh, hired me.
I, uh People open up to me more when they think I'm still on the force, so What else? Folks also open up to you more when You've got more in common with them.
You weren't married, so How many kids do you have? Two.
[PLUM.]
A creature doesn't feel.
A creature can be punched, lied to, abused, debased, ridiculed.
But there's freedom in that.
If you don't feel, you can't care.
And if you can't care, you can do anything.
I'm ready.