Doogie Kamealoha, M.D. (2021) s01e05 Episode Script

1
(TRANQUIL MUSIC)
- CLARA: Hey.
- Hey!
Hmm. That's a good squish.
- (CLARA CHUCKLES)
- Bulgogi's almost there.
Have fun out at Uncle's ranch today.
I will.
I just wish Lahela could go
with me like when she was little,
but now she's always so busy.
Mm. It's been forever since
I've been out there, too.
Can I please buy you a proper bowl,
one that maybe didn't expire in 1989?
No need to spend your hard-earned
money on somethin' fancy like that.
This guy works just as
good for you, more better.
Oh, I love how your Pidgin really
pops when you're passionate.
- (SMOOCHES)
- (BOTH LAUGH)
(CLARA SIGHS)
Hey, you're supposed
to be practicing hula.
And you're supposed to
be prepping for the SAT,
not using your book as a sun-shield.
I'm in recovery.
Let my muscles regen
before the next hula show.
(INHALES) Ooh, that's tight.
(SOFT CHUCKLE) No procrastinating.
"Failing to prepare
is preparing to fail."
Legendary basketball coach, John Wooden.
Yeah, I'm not into team sports.
Here you go. I wrote
my name on the bottom.
Make sure you get it back.
That's my best Tupperware.
Oh, the good whipped cream tub. Fancy.
(CHUCKLES)
Yes! Nothing like a
four hour cholecystectomy
to leave you jonesing for more.
What's next? Feed the beast.
What do we got on the big board?
We got a Canadian tourist
who fell off a moped in 1C.
Aw, man. I need something
challenging to sink my teeth into.
You should have finished that
cholecystectomy in
three and a half hours,
- because my new case? Sepsis.
- (NOELANI CHUCKLES)
(GROANS) You're so lucky.
Organ failure for me. Whoop-whoop.
(LAUGHS, EXHALES)
Hey, I know you love a tough case,
but you don't always need
to have a puzzle to solve.
Oh, and I bet you're handling
the same kind of
run-of-the-mill cases, too?
Necrotizing fasciitis. (WHOOPING)
Come on! A flesh-eating disease?
So unfair.
- Ooh, flesh-eating disease.
- Hey, what are you doing here?
- I came to visit you.
- Oh, that's so nice.
And to score some of the
chocolate chip cookies
they give to the ladies
who just gave birth.
Your paycheck.
Oh, wait. But Gail, my checks
are always direct deposited.
They switched accounting systems
to make my life as
difficult as possible.
But if you don't want the check,
I was thinking about
upgrading my beer fridge.
Nope. We're good. Thanks, Gail.
We have to spend it. It's a sign.
Like when it was a full
moon on my 13th birthday,
which confirmed I'm a tiny bit wolf.
I've never gotten a
hard copy check before.
I don't even know what I make.
I'm lowering my expectations.
Anytime my mom's family sends
me an envelope for my birthday,
it's always a two-dollar bill.
I mean, it's cool, but it's two dollars.
(MOUTHING) Okay.
- I'm rich.
- We're rich!
(THEME MUSIC)
Oh, Dr. Choi, if you have a minute,
I'd love to talk about the
Chief of Staff position.
Oh, um, can this wait?
I'm in a bit of a rush.
I'm transitioning to
the Lakers medical staff.
You know, Los Angeles Lakers.
- (BOTH LAUGH)
- Yeah, the pro basketball team.
- (BOTH GIGGLE)
- How do you like me now, Greg?
Oh, sorry. Greg was the coach
who cut me from the JV team.
Well, uh, I just so happen to have some
of my husband's bulgogi with me.
Perhaps later, we can make a reservation
at the break room
table by the microwave.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
I wish I could, but I just
don't have the bandwidth.
- Hey, Dr. Choi!
- (BOTH LAUGH)
Yes! Psyched for our game of hoops.
I'm gonna school you on the court
while you school me on the
ins and outs of Chief of Staff.
(CHUCKLES) What do you mean?
Oh, didn't you hear?
I'm going for Chief of Staff, too.
Great.
I'm competing with the guy known
for hitting on recent widows.
Hey, you miss 100 percent
of the shots you don't take.
Yeah, and at the three-point line,
you miss 100 percent of
the shots you do take.
(ALL LAUGH)
So, um, there's a
lunchtime basketball game?
Oh, it's just a friendly weekly
game between medical professionals.
That's fun.
So is there any time
that's good for us to talk?
Oh, uh, well, between my basketball
game and my social calendar,
- it's tough. It Oh
- (CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
It's Jason Momoa.
(ALL CHUCKLE)
What up, J-Money?
Huh? Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll hold.
(CHUCKLES)
- He does this.
- (CLARA CHUCKLES)
Hey, what up, J-Money?
(STAMMERING) Can I listen?
- Yeah, sure, sure. I'll be in touch.
- (SIGHS DEEPLY)
- DR. CHOI: About that, well, I
- (SIGHS)
DR. CHOI: Oh, yeah? Yeah. Definitely.
Solid shopping spree.
I look iconic,
and you're serving enough Big Robe
Energy to power the whole island.
And you're a monocle away from
being a sexy Mrs. Monopoly man.
- Turns out, I like being rich.
- (CHUCKLES)
Hey, you know those sneakers I wanted?
Well, I found them online.
But this site called "DripFlip" says
they're only available to bid on.
You don't know DripFlip?
I love it when I know things you don't.
(CLEARS THROAT)
DripFlip is a website
where sneakerheads buy and sell
limited-edition sneakers and stuff.
Matt Unterberger made 91 bucks on there.
Apparently not enough
to get his teeth fixed.
(GENTLE MUSIC)
BENNY: Ooh. (LAUGHS)
Yeah.
He got some juice in this one.
Whoa, Uncle.
It's always great to come
back here to where I grew up.
UNCLE JOHN: So many memories.
Your father and I used
to camp under that tree.
One of my favorites.
(SIGHS) Coming here always recharges me.
The only thing that would make
this better is if Lahela were here.
- Then where is she?
- Ah, you know how it is for teenagers.
Boys, clothes, getting
published in medical journals.
(CHUCKLES) We'll get her next time.
Next time? Well, you know how that goes.
I know your father would have
liked to spend more time with you.
- Come, let's go to the house.
- (HORSE WHINES)
(GENTLE MUSIC)
BRIAN: One, two, three.
Oh. (GRUNTS)
- KAI: So close.
- BRIAN: Looked cool for a miss.
Guys, come on.
- (CAR DOOR CLOSES)
- This looks a lot like slacking off.
It's not.
There's a geometry section on the SATs,
and basketball is basically geometry.
You know, angles and whatnot.
And I burned my hula skirt
trying to make pancakes.
There's nothing left of the
hula skirt or the pancakes.
What did we talk about?
You have to put the work
in to attain your goals.
Well, are you Chief of Staff yet?
No. (SIGHS)
I can't get face time with Dr. Choi.
See? You prepared, and
you didn't get squat.
So what's the point?
No, you can't think like that.
(SIGHS)
Pass me the rock.
(CLARA CLAPS) Come on.
Remember how I said I used
to play ball growing up?
Honed my skills at Dr. J
Basketball Camp in the Poconos.
He's who first inspired
me to become a doctor.
I played in grade school, junior high.
That all led to this.
I'm gonna get in that
game, win over Dr. Choi,
and show you fools what
happens when you prepare.
Did Mom just call us fools?
Yup.
(SHATTERS)
Oh Nothing but plant!
(SUCKS TEETH)
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
This DripFlip thing is tight.
You just buy sneakers and
sell them for more money.
It's all math!
I'm out!
I can tell you're Lahela-ing this.
I can think of like eight positive
definitions of what
"Lahela-ing" would be,
but my guess is you're
gonna go negative.
You always need a project
or something to work on.
Like a shark. You gotta keep moving.
Actually, sharks don't
have to keep moving.
They sleep in caves.
Dr. Eugenie Clark proved that.
I like to fact-check Shark Week.
Enough Lahela-ing.
Have fun making
sneakers about math. Bye.
Bye.
CLARA: Boys, check it out.
I found my old b-ball stuff.
Oh, look!
My old senior photo.
Looks like a five-foot
wave on top of your head.
And no wonder Dad fell in love with you.
He probably just wanted
to surf on your hair.
(SIGHS) Oh.
My lucky pumps.
I used to dominate in these.
I was so good, they
called me Clarry Bird.
Hey, how's it going?
Hey.
Feel like a little father-daughter hang?
In the mood for a surf?
Oh, this pair now goes for 280 dollars?
- Just an hour ago, it was 240 dollars.
- What is this?
DripFlip. It's a resale
site for sneakers.
I'm looking for a crispy
clean pair of OG Supremes,
but you gotta time the market.
It's all about buying
low and selling high.
Wait, this kind of sounds
like the stock market.
Yeah.
Only cooler, because it's sneakers
and not, like, banks and chemicals.
Lahela, you know I was a stock
trader before we had you kids, huh?
Right. Wait, so you know
how to do this stuff?
No offense, I just can't picture
you with a long sleeve shirt job.
None taken, but yes.
I had a very different
life way back when.
The year 2000, we just survived Y2K.
Every male friendship was tinged
with the lessons we all
learned from Fight Club.
My favorite song was I Hope
You Dance by Lee Ann Womack.
Jeans were low, stocks were high.
Dad. The sneakers are just
getting more expensive.
- Can we jump ahead?
- Of course.
Energy drinks were all the rage.
Monster, Red Bull.
But the real champs drank Nuked.
"Go nuclear, with Nuked."
- Dad!
- Uh, I'm sorry.
Nobody pays for music when you
can download a song for free
in only 45 minutes sell!
BENNY: I was in a fast-paced office
in the building next to the people
who invented online dating for farmers.
(GROANS, LAUGHS)
And there was something
called a "panini"
that was changing the way
we all thought about lunch.
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
(GROANS)
This one's for you, Cubes.
It took 45 minutes to download one song?
The wait made you want it more.
- God, the past was so slow.
- (LAPTOP BEEPS)
(GASPS)
The price just went down
on those new sneakers.
You know, if you think it's valuable,
you should buy multiple
pairs, make a bigger profit.
I always said, "You gotta
risk it to get the biscuit."
(SOFT CHUCKLE)
I like that.
Hey, do you wanna team up?
We could do it together.
Really?
Boys, gather round.
(BOTH SIGH)
In this family, if
we're gonna do something,
we're gonna do it 100 percent.
Uh-oh. Is this another "Philly
versus Everybody" thing?
Yeah, I don't need to hear about
it again. It's so aggro over there.
Tough accent, too.
I don't care if you are my sons.
Get my city's name out of
your mouths and listen up.
(SIGHS)
To get Chief of Staff,
I have to be the best,
not just at the hospital,
but on the court, too.
How do I do that?
Good old-fashioned preparation.
(WAVES CRASHING)
Go, go, go. Go, go, go.
KAI: Faster. Faster.
("GONNA FLY NOW" BY BILL CONTI)
Gonna fly ♪
Flying high ♪
Gonna fly ♪
Flying high ♪
LAHELA: Okay.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
It's so hard now ♪
(CLARA PANTS)
- Trying hard now ♪
-
(PANTING CONTINUES)
(SIZZLES)
You look like you're hitting it hard.
The boys are training me up real good.
I'm furthering my career,
teaching the kids a lesson,
and getting into sick shape.
- Who said moms can't have it all?
- (BOTH LAUGH)
I love it.
Me and Lahela are really bonding, too.
I haven't had this much time
with her since we both got mono.
- Amazing! Look at us.
- Look at us!
(CLARA YELLS)
("GONNA FLY NOW" BY BILL CONTI RISES)
BRIAN: Let's go!
(LAUGHS)
Flying high now ♪
Flying high now ♪
Gonna fly ♪
- (CLARA YELLS)
- Fly ♪
(BOTH LAUGH)
That game was crazy. (CHUCKLES)
You caught fire, man.
What an epic comeback.
Hey, if I can lead a group of
doctors like that on the court,
just imagine what I could
do as Chief of Staff.
(CHUCKLES)
Dr. Lee-bron from the nurses' station!
Not my house. That goes in recycling.
- Swatted away by Hannon. Wow.
- (BOTH CHUCKLE)
I used to ball back in the day.
Two-time all-defense in
the Quaker League. (SIGHS)
In fact, I was thinking
about joining your game.
(CHUCKLES)
I don't know about that. It
can get pretty savage out there.
After I'm done with you,
you won't be able to show
your face in the cafeteria.
- (DR. LEE SCOFFS)
- Oh, yeah.
Well, when I'm done with you,
you'll need a toe tag because
you're gonna end up in the morgue.
What I'm saying is
I'm bringing my A-game.
And also, we should
discuss morgue protocol
at the next senior staff meeting.
Right, right.
Yeah, we actually
should talk about that.
- Good idea, Clara.
- (BOTH CHUCKLE)
That's a good idea. (SOFT CHUCKLE)
Turns out, my patient caught a nasty
parasite from some tuna tartare.
So, I hope you all feel really
bad about making fun of me
for microwaving my poke.
My patient with organ failure,
I can't figure out the cause.
Thought I had a lead, then bang!
Pulmonary cryptococcal
infection out of nowhere.
Could be due to sarcoidosis.
Oh, I didn't consider that.
What is up with you?
Not to sound like a '90s dad,
but you've been on
your phone all morning.
Dang it! I lost another one.
Sorry, I started trading sneakers,
and my profits are tumbling.
I went big on a pair of
Yeezys and now I'm in the red.
It's 1929 up in here.
Okay, Dr. Hannon. Staying fly
in scrubs and saving lives.
Who gave you permission?
What? Fun can't be functional?
- (CLARA CHUCKLES)
- Those shoes are so hot online right now.
Ariana Grande just wore
them to Whole Foods.
(SCOFFS) Am I too old to know this?
CHARLES: Not at all.
Just like I'm not too old to
be shopping at Urban Outfitters.
Hey, I'm making your
sister a breakfast panini.
You guys want one?
The breakfast panini is the
most important panini of the day.
Dad, it's been so much panini.
It's like we live in an airport.
Yeah. Can I just have
a raw sandwich today?
My pumps are gone.
I left them right outside
and now they've vanished.
Somebody probably swiped them.
Ever since my girl Ari rocked
them in the produce aisle,
the pumps have kind of
become "the shoe" overnight.
I need them for my game.
- It's today.
- You'll find them, honey.
Yeah, maybe you left
them down by the beach.
We'll help you look.
Here's your breakfast panini
for another great day of trading
and father-daughter bonding!
(KEYBOARD CLACKING)
- (UPBEAT MUSIC)
- Wait, you sold Mom's sneakers?
I got us back in the black!
Since when were we not in the black?
I thought we were doing this together.
Well, there was a lot of action
overnight in the Asian markets.
Sneakers never sleep.
I found this pair of
limited edition high tops
that I was positive
we could flip for cash.
Made a tiny miscalculation
on their value.
But by selling Mom's
shoes at their peak price,
I got our money back.
Like you said, "You got to
risk it to get the biscuit."
Yeah, I was talking about
stocks, not Mom's shoes.
Don't worry, I sold high.
The market will cool
itself in a few days,
and I'll buy them back at a profit.
No harm done.
Mom has her big basketball
game at the hospital today.
What does that mean?
She's been trying to get
face time with Dr. Choi,
so he can recommend
her for Chief of Staff.
And this lunchtime basketball
game is their best chance at it.
She's been practicing all week.
So what do we do?
I have an idea.
You know how to get Mom's sneakers back?
I'm talking about something
even more important than shoes
Maybe the most important thing of all.
(TRANQUIL MUSIC)
- (CAR DOOR CLOSES)
- Why are we at Uncle's ranch?
We're here for balance.
To get you balanced out
and connected again to
everything that matters most.
(SIGHS) Dad, I'm fine.
No, you Lahela'd it.
Everyone needs to stop verbing me.
I never thought being
myself could be a bad thing.
It's not bad.
You're a curious kid with a big brain.
It's what makes you a brilliant doctor,
but it's also why it tends
to get you sucked into things.
We overdid it with DripFlip.
It's time to take a step back.
(BENNY CHUCKLES)
- (LAHELA SIGHS)
- (HORSE NEIGHS)
This is nice, right?
Look at those mountains.
How beautiful is that?
(CHUCKLES)
Now, I want you to
just take a deep breath.
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
Go on.
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
Now take another one.
Because there's a lot of Nuked
we need to get out of your system.
(BOTH BREATHE DEEPLY)
Feel better, right?
And this is just the start.
Come on! I wanna show
you a stream I can jump.
(LIVELY MUSIC)
(BENNY CHUCKLES)
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
Oh, what kind of store is this?
You don't have any 1994
Reebok pumps in a size seven?
My mom lost her lucky sneakers,
and she needs to use them
for a pickup basketball game at work
so she can infiltrate the boys' club
and impress the outgoing
hospital Chief of Staff.
Dope.
My boss is a woman. (CHUCKLES)
(SIGHS)
These ones aren't right either.
Well, unless you wanna
try some, uh, water shoes,
that's the only pair we have left.
No, thank you.
Just forget it.
(SHOES THUD)
I can't play without my pumps.
It's over.
No point in going to the game now.
You're not gonna play after all of that?
We're your impressionable sons.
Is that really the lesson
you want us to learn?
That we should give up?
Oh, don't use me being
a good mom against me.
Mom, you're not good
because of the shoes.
You're good because you prepared.
It's like "you are the pump."
That's a metaphor.
SATs, baby.
Hm. Maybe you're right.
Technically, it's a simile, though.
I just didn't think Philly
was a place for quitters.
(GASPS)
You've been preparing for
this moment your whole life,
ever since you dropped eight
points against Bensalem Junior High.
BRIAN: Yeah, Mom. It's like
those wise words from
that basketball man
you told us about
when I started to daydream.
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
Thank you for reminding
me of what I reminded you,
of what the great John
Wooden reminded us all.
"Failing to prepare
is preparing to fail.
And when you put the work in you
owe it to yourself to show up."
Time to kick some doctor butt.
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
Hell yeah! Go, hot mom.
Okay, let's go.
Come on. Come on. Come on.
Hot mom. (LAUGHS)
This is nice.
Feels like I'm in a YA novel.
All I'm missing are horse boots
and a supernatural
problematic boyfriend.
- (LAHELA CHUCKLES)
- It's nice having you here.
You're right.
I needed this.
I can't believe I got so into DripFlip,
- I sold Mom's sneakers.
- (CHUCKLES)
I feel terrible.
I do, too.
Why do you feel bad?
I never told you this,
but, uh, same thing
happened to me years ago.
You stole from Mom?
No. She was in med school.
She had nothing to steal.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
I got so sucked into my work that
it made me miss out on time with family.
It's hard to picture you like that.
I was a different man.
But, when my dad, your tutu
kane, passed away suddenly,
I thought about all the
times I silenced his calls
because I was consumed by work.
I figured we'd have plenty of time,
once I got to where I wanted my career,
but we didn't.
And you don't get that time back.
Is that why you left the business?
That and I really
wanted to sell shave ice.
- (BOTH CHUCKLE)
- It does look fun.
- Oh, it is.
- (SOFT CHUCKLE)
I just love coming
to the ranch with you.
This is something we do
as father and daughter
that reminds me of my old man.
- Oh, Dad.
- Mm.
But I should have stopped you sooner.
I just love spending time with you.
I love spending time with you too.
(GENTLE MUSIC)
At 5'5", hailing from
North Penn High School,
in her 18th year of
medicine, Clarry Bird herself,
aka Lil Scrapple, my mom!
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
- (TEARING)
- (EXHALES)
See? I told you this would be more
fun than eating in the cafeteria.
Yeah, I do not usually enjoy sports,
but I see blood in Dr. Hannon's
eyes, and I am all about it.
- Mm-hm.
- (CLARA GRUNTING)
(MUMBLING)
Clara, I don't even have the ball.
And you won't get it.
(INDISTINCT DIALOGUE)
DR. CHOI: Oh, yeah. Okay.
(CROWD GROANS)
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTS)
Not in my house, not in my hospital,
and not in front of my children!
Dude, did you see that?
Dr. Hannon's awesome block,
or how surprisingly good
Dr. Lee looks in shorts?
Right? He has the legs of an ox.
Slap a wagon on those and
take me on the Oregon Trail.
Let's make a pact right now. We
will never discuss this again.
(BOTH SHUSH)
(GRUNTS)
(BOTH GROAN)
Yes, that counted.
I did not hear a whistle.
Good news is, if Mom
seriously injures anyone,
at least we're already at the hospital.
I can't tell if these guys all suck,
or if Mom is the best
basketball player I've ever seen.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Hey, Dr. Hannon.
- (EXHALES)
- You go way too hard.
Read the room, we play
half-court at lunch.
I mean, look at these guys.
We have to protect Jerry.
They said if he dies, we
can't play basketball anymore.
I just got the one speed.
All gas, no brakes, baby.
This is a friendly lunchtime
game. Thanks for ruining it.
Dr. Hannon.
Hey. (CHUCKLES)
Uh, I'm sorry if I got a
little too aggressive out there.
Are you kidding? I love the tenacity.
- A regular Candace Parker.
- (LAUGHS)
- She's a friend.
- Oh.
They'll be looking for that kind
of drive in the next Chief of Staff.
We should talk about it more over lunch.
How's tomorrow sound?
Great! Thanks.
Mom, you are an absolute savage.
I am proud to be your son.
Aw, you still have to practice hula.
(SIGHS) Worth a shot.
(CLARA CHUCKLES)
Boys.
(ALL GROAN)
(CLARA LAUGHS)
(TRANQUIL MUSIC)
(CLARA SIGHS)
Mom, I'm sorry.
I heard you didn't need
the sneakers, but still
And I'm done with DripFlip, but
I did make one final transaction.
Oh.
Thank you, sweetie.
Please tell me you're
joining a basketball league,
because you do not wanna know
what I paid for those bad girls.
(SCOFFS) Well, maybe
you shouldn't have stolen
your mother's shoes.
Didn't think I had to teach that lesson.
(SIGHS) Fair.
And I guess you guys were right.
I can get overly focused
on one thing. (SIGHS)
I know where you get that from.
Dad always says we need balance.
I struggle with it, too.
It's part of why we
decided to live in Hawaii,
to raise you kids in
such a beautiful place.
It helps keep things in perspective.
Yeah.
And Dad made me look at the mountains.
Oh, guy loves a mountain.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
Hey. How about this?
You and me keep an eye on each other
if either one of us gets in too deep.
Deal?
- Deal.
- (SOFT CHUCKLE)
Oh, and did you hear?
Jerry's gonna be in an
air boot for four weeks
because he can't handle me
in the paint. (CLARA LAUGHS)
I cannot believe you
screamed "No mercy!"
And then dove for a loose ball
- at your boss's legs
- Yeah.
- and then got rewarded for it.
- Yeah. It was epic.
(BOTH LAUGH)
Hey, guys, just a short video today
since I am going off the grid for a bit.
Sometimes, we can all get
too focused on one thing.
I know when I find something
I'm interested in, I go hard.
And that's mostly been a good thing.
That's how I became a doctor at 16.
But I see now how it
can also mess me up.
Luckily, I have my parents
and Hawaii to balance me out.
So don't be afraid to disconnect
and focus on what really matters.
Plus, as a doctor, I cannot
condone vlogging while riding.
- Bye, guys.
- (CELL PHONE BEEPS)
All right, let's go.
(CALM MUSIC)
- CLARA: Let's go.
- LAHELA: You ready?
CLARA: Yeah.
(BENNY SIGHS)
BENNY: Okay. Now, I want us
all to take a deep breath.
CLARA: Of course, you do.
(CLOSING THEME MUSIC)