Eleita (2022) s01e05 Episode Script

1
Hi, guys, I have some news for you.
The state of Rio de Janeiro is rich now!
I made a political maneuver.
I took Prince Marid to Boi Tolo, right?
So cunning of me.
I knew he would drown
in dirty stuff.
So, I created
a political scandal in the Middle East
This raised the value of oil,
barrel prices went up,
and lots of companies are interested
in our Super Rio Public Auction.
Now, you tell me,
what should I do with all this money
that we got because of me?
What if I split the money evenly
between all of you, my subjects?
Can I call them subjects?
How do I call you?
ELECTED
Share money equally with the people?
Are we communists?
Don't pay attention to what
the governor says online.
You said
you could control this girl!
The money is for the elderly.
I hope so.
I must get re-elected.
Our base is my top priority.
Don't make me have to talk to that pastor
about impeachment proceedings.
If she goes down,
you'll go down with her.
Do you know what
the state's population is?
A few million, I guess.
So
If we take the money from the auction,
deduct the state government debts,
and split it evenly with every citizen,
each person will receive
just a couple of bucks.
There's no more two-real bill!
But I will reduce social inequality.
If everyone gets the same amount,
social inequality will remain the same.
We could guarantee
retirement pensions, instead.
At least until I get We get re-elected.
I don't want to be.
But you wanna be loved.
It's better that some people
love you a lot
than getting a two-buck love
from everyone.
On one condition.
You'll do the yellow chick dance
for my stories.
The yellow chick dance?
Is this necessary?
You made me miss Boi Tolo, man.
At least tag me.
My little yellow chick
Fits right here in my hand
Whenever he gets hungry
He looks for bugs
And scratches the ground
Go!
He flaps his wings
He says peep peep
But he's really scared
of the hawk
One more time.
He flaps his wings
He says peep peep
But he's really scared
of the hawk
That was great.
All the profit from the public auction
of the pre-pre-salt
will be allocated to a project
called Pension for the Past.
Stop it, you don't need
to love me this much.
Okay, love me, love me.
Which asshole did this?
Call me Sol.
No!
No public auction!
The penguin has been shot.
No public auction!
Did you see that?
Girl, they're accusing me
of using blackface.
I know.
We won't stop until
they call off the oil bidding process.
Otherwise we will cancel the governor.
No public auction!
What a spoiled brat.
She's not entirely wrong
I said not entirely.
The paint was a bad move.
Let's not fight over this.
Of course not.
We are a mature couple
going through a difficult
but amicable breakup.
Wait, you follow her?
I don't think so
-Unfollow her!
-Wait, I don't!
Oops, I hit the like button.
I'll say I finally found a cause.
No, you won't speak.
I'll say I won't comment.
You won't say anything.
-My bad.
-It's not about you.
The Non-Figurehead
Black Women in Politics movement,
NFHBWP for short, began in 2020.
We added racial and gender quotas
for the elections.
Quite interesting.
What do you think, André?
I'm just here to support
this important cause.
Back then, the parties picked any woman
or Black person
to run for the election.
I, myself, walked in here to pee
and left running for City Councilor.
How does this affect you, André?
But I was just a figurehead.
To fill the quota.
Meanwhile, white men
remained in charge of politics.
Which is absurd, André?
So absurd
that the printing company
got the size of the prints wrong.
And Carla Gueiros became this.
POO
PED
You see?
Now, thanks to the visibility
that comes from the state government,
we'll ensure this never happens again.
That's wonderful. Anything to add, André?
I just want to say that this is the time
for Black women in politics.
Great. Very well said.
The interview is over, right?
Can we take pictures?
Is it too late to skip this debate?
You can always fake faint, honey.
Calm down, governor.
Environmentalists are not politicians.
All they have are facts.
-What do we have?
-Alternative facts.
Netinho, these are all lies.
Nobody cares.
We have a simple agenda:
No public auction!
She talks like I ruined
the environment myself.
It wasn't great
before I arrived.
Quit joking, governor.
Let's talk facts.
My generation's future is at stake.
I'd like to ask politely
that both participants
lower the level of this debate.
She understands being low, Leilane.
-Hey!
-You want facts?
Here is one for you.
Did you know that oil rigging
actually helps marine life?
Because it plows the seabed.
-Mic drop! Facts.
-Where are these studies from?
From England.
The oceans can no longer absorb
the greenhouse gases caused by what?
Fossil fuels.
One hundred fossil fuel companies
are responsible
for 71% of these emissions.
All companies you'd do business
with this bidding process.
The oceans have become
30% more acidic in the last 200 years
than any change we know of
in a 50-million-year time span.
According to the Intergovernmental Panel
on Climate Change,
the fauna and flora you mentioned
can't take it anymore.
Of course a panel on climate change
is going to say the climate is changing.
What about the Panel
on Climate Continuity?
Why aren't they heard?
How weird.
Oil exploration must be stopped.
We need to reduce emissions,
encourage renewable energy usage,
and invest in disaster safety
and programs for displaced communities.
Pre-pre-salt is going to save
Rio de Janeiro's economy!
What economy if the world ends?
You're obsessed with this
end of the world thing.
"End of the world."
You won't even be here.
It's 200 years away.
20 to 30 years!
Wait.
You mean I'll be here when the world ends?
We have to call it off.
This is not a state decision.
What about that appeal thing?
I'll appeal to the courts!
That's not how it works.
What about the president?
It's up to the regulator.
The rare Guillera? Who's this bitch?
The regulator, the Brazilian Oil Agency.
I'm the governor.
There's nothing I can do?
It's been too late for too long now.
You're not afraid
of the end of the world?
No, I have high blood pressure.
BLACK WOMEN IN POLITICS
Don't justify yourself.
You managed to steal the spotlight
in a program about being in the spotlight.
-I'm not defending myself.
-Please do!
I want to be mad at you!
-My bad.
-Stop apologizing!
My bad.
Listen, I think you should
take a break from NHFPWB.
Look for another project.
Something you can relate to.
Where you have a voice.
Leave us alone.
Actually, it's NFHBWP.
Did I say it wrong?
Thanks for teaching me.
I see you're an expert
on Black women in politics
and being in the spotlight.
Now you come with your mansplaining?
-My bad
-You think you know it all!
Cultural appropriation
is everywhere here, André!
What's next? Wearing a turban?
What a joke!
So, what are you keeping?
-It doesn't matter.
-Well, you bought the painting.
Yeah, the chair too.
What about this little monster?
We adopted him together.
But you gave him outfits and toys.
Yeah, but you actually take care of him.
Okay, I'll keep him.
Who's gonna be the smallest mini-pig
of Greater São Paulo?
That's right.
Girl, I'm really proud of us.
We're two adults.
Look what I just found.
The LSD we took
when we fell off the overpass!
This one is terrible!
-Should we take it?
-Tomorrow.
-Why tomorrow?
-My farewell party.
You're right.
Your Honor, please.
We need to talk about André.
Rest assured,
he won't get anywhere near NFHBWP.
I told him to stay away.
He didn't like the cover?
-Did you?
-No, of course not.
-Sure.
-But
Many companies called us offering funds
and equipment in exchange for ads.
He's the new figurehead.
What do you mean?
What about Black women?
It sucks, I know. But think ahead
Think of what this could bring
to NFGHIJK The movement.
-I told him to stay away.
-Undo it.
Going after that privileged boy
with my tail between my legs?
-No fucking way!
-Say it was his idea.
-How so?
-We pretend not to know anything.
Let them run things.
When they think they're in charge,
we
Throw it in his face!
That's how you do it?
You're dating men now?
Guilty.
According to our intelligence reports,
the protest was called by the criminal
Sol Birmarcker
via the Blërg app.
-Blërg?
-Affirmative.
What is it?
The new app used
by teenagers and drug dealers.
I'm not aware of a drug dealer app?
The police is waiting
for your word to disperse the protest.
Why disperse the protest?
We have to make these kids
stop of their own accord.
Look on the bright side, ma'am.
Your approval rate with seniors
grew after
the Pension for the Past project.
I got an idea!
Here's a good one! Follow me.
What if, instead of investing in the past,
we invested in the future?
Ma'am,
are you thinking
of taking money from the elderly?
To be fair, they screwed the world,
so
They had it coming!
-Let's go.
-Wait, I'm testing my filters.
-We're live.
-Oh, my God.
Hi, people.
I'm streaming live
to announce a major project:
the End of the World Fund.
I don't know the details yet,
but the name is great.
Here's the deal.
I'm going to put this money
in a state-run, sovereign wealth fund
or something like that.
What matters is that we will
make our apocalypse experience
less unpleasant.
I know the present looks like shit,
but it's time to think about the future.
End of the World Fund,
another inventive program
by the state of Rio de Janeiro.
Congratulations, Netinho.
Giving away money to children.
Children don't vote!
Yeah, but they're loud.
My re-election can't be left
at the whims of a little girl.
I promise to change her mind.
Hosana.
Was this necessary?
Mr. Representative.
Vice-Governor Altair.
You look downcast, sir.
For years now
Hosana and I have been talking a lot.
About this government's future.
Already?
And maybe the next one.
The deputy governor is a real bummer
with only 46 followers online.
My profile hasn't been verified yet, guys.
Her impeachment wouldn't be the first.
Nor the fifth.
First Lady?
This is Councilor Rocha,
honorary president at MAN,
which stands for Male & Alpha Nest.
-What's up, bro?
-How are you?
Skinny arms. Are you working out?
Yeah.
You have to work out. Shoot.
First I wanted to understand
the reasons for your association.
MAN exists to stand up for straight,
cis, white men.
Stand up as opposed to
Isn't it obvious?
Not really.
We have to explain the obvious nowadays.
I can't believe it.
Against the feminazis out there,
gender ideology,
and this pro-gay dictatorship
that has spread worldwide.
You can choose, bro.
Mr. Rocha, you know
none of these things are real, right?
What do you mean? I can feel it.
I feel the pain. Don't you?
No. I'm aware of my privileges.
Privileges! You heard that?
You're funny, bro.
We can't do anything these days.
If you treat a woman badly, it's sexism.
If you compliment her, it's harassment.
I can't even say that Teresa is fat
or I become fatphobic.
It's the truth. You see she is fat.
Now I can't say it.
Congrats, you look so thin.
Enough oppression.
Councilor Rocha,
we'll consider your case carefully.
I'll leave you with this:
Is this what you want
our children to learn?
That their lives are worth less
because they're normal
without these anomalies?
Please leave, Mr. Rocha!
Please.
Nice office
Out with Fefê!
I can't stand these kids shouting anymore.
The super called,
the neighbor complained.
-Did you hook up?
-Of course.
I love you. You're perfect.
Out with Fefê!
I need to tell you something.
My parents sold the apartment.
Without me?
You literally have a palace to live in.
I want to live here!
Are we fighting over this?
Nanda, all our memories are here!
I'm not pushing you out, Fefê!
Out with Fefê!
Out with Fefê!
I don't know, André.
That cover looked bad.
Yes, it did.
I warned him, but he doesn't listen.
I wanted to use my power for good.
We call this white savior complex.
It happens a lot.
Sorry, I'm supporting your cause
even against your will.
-First Lady, give it up!
-No!
I may not have a voice here,
but I won't be quiet.
You can cancel me, accuse me
Fine, I deserve it.
I can handle it.
But I have to fight for what I believe in.
Which is
It's time for Black women in politics.
Okay
You have a talk show next week.
-Don't mention human pride.
-And no reverse racism.
Out with Fefê!
Out with Fefê!
Out with Fefê!
Out with Fefê!
Out with you, bunch of frustrated virgins!
Out with Fefê!
Out with Fefê!
There she is!
Governor, what are you doing?
I'm stopping this mess.
-Get out!
-Ugly bitch!
-Get out!
-Ugly dumbass!
-Sol!
-Want some?
What do you want from me?
Call off the auction.
So the End of the World Fund isn't enough,
princess?
No. We want the auction cancelled.
Why don't you talk to the president
who can do something about it?
My parents won't let me leave Rio.
Your request is impossible.
Nothing is impossible.
Unfortunately, some things are.
Sad to say, there are things
you can only cry me a river about.
Calm down, honey.
I won't hold back!
Listen, do you want to cease
all oil exploration?
How sad. Cry me a river!
Don't want the world to end?
How cute. Cry me a river!
Do you want to live until you're 60?
Then cry me a river!
I also wish my best friend
wasn't moving to São Paulo.
But sadly all I can do is cry me a river!
Having no solution
isn't an excuse not to rebel against it.
-Oh, really?
-Really.
Then watch me rebel too.
The Pension for the Past
would be investing in the past.
But we must look to our youth,
towards the future.
In this sense,
the End of the World Fund
Mr. Secretary, my apologies
but we have footage of the governor
saying otherwise.
-When?
-Right now.
Out with Fefê!
Out with me?
Out with you! I won't be quiet anymore.
I refuse to be the adult.
I hereby declare the end of
the End of the World Fund.
Complain all you want, kids.
Go ahead and throw a tantrum.
I'm resuming my original idea.
I'm splitting the money
evenly between the whole population.
Except for you, you little shits!
Write down their IDs.
Out!
Out with Fefê!
Mr. Secretary, any comments?
No comments.
I want to keep him. He belongs here.
-Are we going to fight?
-You abandoned the family.
I knew it.
You pretend everything's fine.
-I'm glad that you're moving far away.
-São Paulo is six hours away.
Great! You can visit whenever you want.
Stop being immature.
At least, I'm a good friend, Fernanda.
We don't need her to be happy, okay?
I swear.
The latest reports indicate that
some resentful seniors appear to be
joining forces with the teenagers.
Out with Fefê!
Things are going from bad to worse.
Can we step in?
Dispersing old people is ugly, right?
Sir,
allowing this roughhouse
in front of the palace is uglier.
We need rulers
who have some hope.
Politics without utopia is business.
Don't mess with our dreams!
This bitch's got to go!
She's got to go!
Why am I here? Because I'm tired of her.
I'm tired
of promises of change,
that this time will be different.
Talk is cheap. It never changes.
I want things to change!
I'm glad I'm moving away
and I'm taking Minipig.
Out with Fefê! C'mon! Out with Fefê!
Out with Fefê!
Out with Fefê!
The police are ready to take action.
All I need is your okay.
Out with Fefê!
A little nod will do.
Out with Fefê!
Out with Fefê!
Out with Fefê!
NO OIL
Out with Fefê!
What do you think about this?
The police are right to crack down on it.
Why so many protests?
How's there global warming
if the Earth is flat?
I don't usually praise women, okay?
But this governor
is pretty good for a woman.
She's got massive balls. I like it.
Out with Fefê!
Out with Fefê!
Out with Fefê!