End of the Line (2024) s01e05 Episode Script

[engine starts]
[theme song playing]
Have you heard about what's going on?
- No.
- Ah, Sandra sold our house
- and I have a girlfriend, Jerusa.
- Look at you, sweetie!
- Good.
- Yeah. I was wondering
if you knew of a good place with a bed?
Looking for a new place is like
looking for a needle in a haystack.
Stop it. I don't want to hear
anything about needles! Ugh!
Remember I told you
about that shot I got on my butt?
It's still swollen from one month ago.
Let me show you a picture.
- I think it's infected, do you?
- I don't think that's a good idea.
I'm trying to only look
at nudes sent from Jerusa,
- you know?
- Ah, I see.
Oh, yeah. I need to call her!
Oh, Jerusa, my sweetie!
I definitely didn't forget
to book an amazing room for us!
Ivan, please promise for me,
use a condom with your girl.
- I will.
- You don't want to have an STD.
Uh, don't worry, the DMV
is the only acronym I'm afraid of.
- [audience cheering]
- [theme song playing]
END OF THE LINE
[woman] Final stop coming up!
[samba playing]
[indistinct chatter]
WHOLE LOTTA NOTHING GOING ON
[horn honks]
[audience cheering]
[Ivan laughs] Yeah!
Hey, hey. Let's get this show going.
- [laughs]
- That's it, yeah.
Charged a hotel room to my card ♪
[vocalizing]
Paying the bill's harder now ♪
[vocalizing]
It might be too much to take care of ♪
But I've done all of this for love ♪
- Yeah, yeah! [vocalizing]
- [laughing]
[Ivan vocalizing]
- Aren't you happy?
- I am!
- What do you need?
- The van needs oil, Vanilse.
- I see.
- She's been running perfectly though.
She's not the only one, is she?
It's almost like you're flying.
- Hell yeah!
- Feeling good.
Let's just say I'm a player.
Practically scoring every single night.
[audience laughing]
I have a date with Jerusa, you know her?
The Jerusa from the market?
- Jerusa, who works at the Yeah.
- Dang!
Since Sandra wants to sleep with Robson,
it's only right
I find someone to hook up with.
I'm not messing around this time.
So then you're gonna shake that bedroom
all night long,
- aren't you?
- [audience cheering]
There's no way I can.
Ever since Sandra sold the house off,
I've been sharing a room with Ivandro.
And there's no way I can do anything fun
with Ben Ten staring at me.
You can't handle seeing one,
let alone ten Bens.
There're plenty other rooms
for you to use, don't you think?
The living room, the kitchen.
It's still your house, you know?
Like that makes any difference.
Don't you realize?
This thing with Sandra
is screwing me over.
What the heck?
Did they really have to dig this hole
right where I usually park my van?
This is so stupid.
There are so many other places.
A jokester down at the city
is clearly pointing out how dirt poor I am
and just when I scored a date with Jerusa!
- This is God abandoning me.
- Well, city hall's to blame.
Don't forget.
If you so much as idle in another spot
anywhere else in this city,
you'll get a big bill from the enforcer.
It's impossible. I mean,
just this week the van's had problems.
- And Sandra's been so mean lately.
- [Sandra] You haven't seen anything yet.
You still owe me
for electricity and water bills.
And don't forget whose credit card it was
that paid for those shorts. Alright?
- Okay, okay.
- I'm charging interest.
I'll get it to you, one day.
What the heck is going on in here?
You better tell me what you're doing.
- This is inappropriate.
- [Robson] Hey!
- Sandra?
- [Robson] This has nothing to do with you.
- It does, and it looks more like a toilet.
- Watch your mouth.
This is a place of work, you know.
And we are well known
for getting down to business here.
Right, love?
Alright, Robson, that's enough out of you.
If you really wanna gossip about my life,
film a reality show.
I swear he's like a bad sauna!
He tells you that he's hot
and when you get with him,
you end up with a cold shower.
[audience exclaiming, laughing]
There, I said it.
And no, I won't stay quiet on this issue.
- Okay, Iv
- I'm just being honest with you.
- Alright, Ivan.
- Huh?
Ivan, I am way too busy to deal with you.
Come out with it.
I would love to be that busy, and I'm not,
because of this giant hole
the city decided to dig,
and now I can't pick up my passengers.
So I'm here to tell all of you
I'll start parking my van
over there, instead of your bus.
Is that okay?
- [Sandra] What makes you think that?
- There.
You can't just steal
that parking spot, Ivan!
Watch me do it.
You can't even control
the little passenger you've got!
And this little space ain't for you.
Are you really fighting
over a parking spot?
Why don't you park in my lot?
It's rotating every day. [laughs]
Ivan, why don't you talk
to the city inspector about it?
He's eating at Marta's.
- That guy?
- Uh-huh.
- [Ivan] I'll give him a piece of my mind.
- Yeah.
- Don't you underestimate me.
- Just go talk to Marinho.
I took jiujitsu in Vila da Penha,
my friend.
- Uh-huh.
- And you better watch yourself. Watch it.
- [Robson] Huh?
- I swear.
I don't have a lot going on here
but I have more guts than you ever will.
[audience cheering]
[Sandra] I can't with this.
Which one of you scrawny little jerks
is Marinho?
I don't care
what it takes to fill that hole.
It's blocking my van
and I need it fixed now.
- Let's see what you got.
- My name's Marinho.
[audience exclaiming]
MARTA'S CAFE - OPEN
WARNING - WASH YOUR HANDS
Feel free to do whatever you want.
So you have some complaints
to share with me, huh, pal?
No, I was, uh,
praising the hole, and, uh
[audience laughing]
You must tell me what you used to dig it.
A Makita or a a hammer?
That's, ah, that's a bit tight.
No, no, no, never mind,
my skin is too sensitive, it's not you.
Hey, hold on, hold on.
I've got this brand-new brawl kit here.
You get this pain relief cream,
ice, and I'll throw in a tooth repair kit.
- No, thank you.
- You'll be sorry when he beats you.
- [scoffs]
- [audience exclaiming]
- [Ivan] Wow.
- [Sandra] You bet.
Guys, guys. Leave the man alone
while he's munching,
since he bought every one of my kibbehs.
My end of the year bonus is guaranteed.
- Here you are.
- Yeah.
[Jerusa] Ivan, honey,
I hope you're ready to meet up,
because I'm absolutely on fire today.
[audience exclaiming]
Well, that's great for you,
but your fire is costing me.
I don't need to be late on top of it.
My man,
I'm so sorry to interrupt your lunch hour,
but I'm begging you to move fast
and cover up that hole.
- Yeah, I
- [audience laughing]
You're acting desperate, don't you think?
- No, you're right.
- God in Heaven, who is this man?
You wanna complain?
- That's not exactly what I was saying.
- [Alê groans]
- Complain to someone who cares. [laughs]
- [grunts]
- [Marinho] See ya!
- [Marta] Hey! You didn't pay your bill.
- [Alê] Seriously?
- Hey! Hey! Yo! No.
Hey, I'm not afraid like Ivan, bro.
Get your butts back here now.
[audience cheering]
I
I take back every nice thing I said.
What? You want sympathy?
Come complain to city hall.
[Ivan] I'm going to.
They're going to wish
they never crossed my path.
- Ivan, calm down.
- I won't. I'm not
- Please take a breath!
- No.
Listen, rushing will not fix anything.
Calm down.
We were rushing when we made Ivandro,
and he turned out perfect.
- [phone beeps]
- [Ivan] Hold on a second.
[Jerusa] Did you book our hotel room?
- Hotel? Hotel?
- [phone beeps]
- Did you say hotel?
- What?
- Who? Hey.
- Who? Hey.
Hey, hey, hey. You good?
- I'm great. Anyway
- What's going on?
- No
- [Ivandro] Morning!
- What's up, fam?
- Hi, Ivandro. So nice to see you.
- [Alê] You got taller.
- Hey, Marta. Rejane, hey.
Hey, Dad. Hey, Mom.
- Hey. Go say hi to your dad.
- Hi, Dad.
Hi, my son. God be with you.
- Dad, you're not working?
- Huh?
Well, I would love to be working, son,
but I have a VWP.
Hey, Mom. What's a VWP?
- Van without passengers.
- Please, Ivan.
Have you tried out the college?
Younger passengers are always
looking for a ride. Ooh!
[Ivandro] What the heck, Alê?
Ivan, I think you should follow her advice
for your own good,
or you'll never get any passengers.
- Up to you.
- [Alê] Come on, girl.
- [Ivandro] What's with her?
- [Ivan] Look. Don't tell your mom.
Your father is, uh,
going out with a woman,
her name is Jerusa.
- Yeah.
- The store lady?
- The cashier.
- That's awesome.
But tragically,
I find myself without a single dime.
What's the line?
[theme song playing]
Ah, okay. I got it.
Got it, got it, got it.
- [music stops]
- [audience laughing]
You can't tell your mother
what I'm about to say.
- What is it?
- Ivandro, daddy is,
well, he's visiting with Jerusa
in a biblical way.
- No way.
- You can not tell your mother anything.
She deserves the world. Do you have money?
- I just need to book one tiny
- No.
presidential suite, she deserves that.
- That's too bad.
- Oh, another message.
- Oh, God.
- [phone beeps]
[Jerusa] Ivan,
you know what I'd really love?
You should order some champagne and fruit.
I can't afford a room,
and now she wants champagne and fruit?
That's a lot.
I guess I could afford
fruit-flavored antacids!
Put it in water, it bubbles
like champagne, and no heartburn!
That's a great idea.
Oh, hey! Don't leave yet.
Hey, driver! Wait for me, please.
[audience cheering]
LAPA STATION
Alê, I hate this new route.
Do I turn here?
- How should I know?
- Forget it.
- We'll get there eventually.
- Exactly.
[indistinct chatter]
- Hey, Ivan.
- [Ivan] What?
Why are you going in my bus
and not your van?
Come on, the parking costs a fortune.
- Uh-huh.
- No way I'm paying that.
- But I'm going to city hall.
- Mmm.
So I can complain about Marinho
and get them to fill that hole up.
- Alright. Give Alê your fare, Ivan.
- Yeah.
- [Ivan] Just let me jump.
- You wouldn't dare think of stiffing us!
If my bosses find out,
I'll be fired right away.
Alright. I'm being good now.
- [Alê] What's on your phone?
- [Ivan] Alê! Don't take my cellphone.
- What is it?
- Look, it's Jerusa.
- [Sandra] Is that her?
- All of her. Those boobs look new.
- Tramp! Give me your phone!
- What's wrong with you?
You've gotta be kidding. Jerusa, Ivan?
You're an idiot.
Jerusa's been with everyone.
Why are you even talking that way?
What about female solidarity?
- [Sandra] I don't recognize it.
- What he is trying to say is "sisterhood".
She's clearly jealous.
I'm sorry this is so hard on you.
- [Alê] Ah!
- It's pointless.
- [Ivan] Why?
- Please don't assume I care.
Really? This is insane.
Only talk if you have
something important to say.
Ivan.
What?
You know that I still do it for you.
- [scoffs]
- I can pole dance for you.
- You liked it.
- [Alê] Watch it.
Let me remind you
of everything you're missing.
- Let's go.
- [Alê] Be careful.
I already moved on.
- [Alê] Are you gonna pay your fare?
- Can you Just a glance from you.
- It isn't working.
- Come on, Sandra.
You can't leave me hanging.
- [Sandra] Pay the fare.
- [chattering]
- [Ivan] You know you wanna.
Uncle Hélio. Take it from your retirement.
- Fifty bucks.
- [Alê] You're going to be the death of me.
- Ah, come on! Isn't this your job, Alê?
- You think you can take all my change?
But that's the whole point
of a fare collector.
- Stop with the fuss over there.
- Sandra.
- Yeah, what?
- Ivan.
- [Alê laughing]
- [Ivan] I still got it.
Ivan, was there any progress
over at city hall?
I gained today was another hernia.
I have two of them now because of this.
Unfortunately for you,
it looks like your love affair
will stay stuck in traffic forever. Bleh.
I can't afford to get a room.
- Will you let me use yours?
- No, it's not a good time now.
I have a lot of debts of my own
to take care of.
Because, eventually,
the electricity's getting cut off.
Nothing wrong with that.
I'm prettier in the dark.
- I shine brightly.
- [Migué] Wow.
[audience and Migué laughing]
Well, pay all my bills
and you can glow until morning.
[Ivan] Didn't you listen?
I told you I was broke.
You expect me to pay
the entire bill for this place?
If you want this to be solved
Those workers are moving slow.
- Ah!
- This is their third lunch.
This is so insane.
You know what I'm gonna do?
- Don't do anything you're gonna regret.
- I'll Please.
- I'm gonna take care of it.
- I've god a bad feeling.
[Ivan] I won't regret this.
I'll fill this hole myself!
Quit doing that right now!
You're messing with the plumbing.
[Ivan] No, I'm not. Leave me alone.
If you want something done,
you have to get up and do it yourself.
[Alê] My goodness.
I'm picturing you as a kitten
surrounded by all that dirt.
- Gosh, how cute.
- [scoffs]
Just like a kitten,
shitting around in the sand.
[audience laughing]
Ivan, you messing with that hole
has screwed me over.
I can't get any water now.
You're lucky I had some rainwater saved.
Good, because I had
to brew my coffee somehow!
- [spits]
- [audience laughing]
You went and killed
the subway's water fountain too,
so I couldn't fill any packs
of my mineral water up.
You've been using tap for that?
Oh, you're using rainwater.
I don't think
you're in any place to judge.
I haven't had a shower
in over three days because of this.
Hey, the shortage just started.
You're in no place to judge.
Marta! Marta!
[audience applauding]
[Ivone] Marta, I beg of you,
do you have any water?
I've got these pills I need to be taking,
and no one has any.
- [phone beeps]
- No way. What now?
- [phone beeps]
- Uh
[Jerusa] I'm getting in the shower.
And I'm an absolute mess over here.
What am I gonna
Hey, Marta. Can I borrow some rainwater
so I can take a shower?
Just enough for a Thundercat's shower,
where I get the sword and eye of Thundera.
- No!
- You can buy one of my dry bath kits
if you want to.
It includes a pack of wipes, baby powder,
and a drain cleaner in case it's real bad.
[audience laughing]
I'm sending a picture of this mess
to Marinho, okay?
- You don't need to talk to Marino.
- No.
- He doesn't need to know.
- I sent him a message and he replied.
Let's see what he says.
I'm not afraid.
[Marinho]
What idiot decided to fill my hole?
[Marta laughs]
- [Rejane] Got busted!
- [audience exclaiming]
I'm getting out of here
because I need to shut my piehole.
[audience laughing]
- Hey, Ju!
- [waves crashing]
What's going on, princess?
Hey, look! This time I'm on a boat!
[chuckles] I actually don't think
I can talk to you right now. [coughs]
It's super choppy today.
It's so crazy. [chuckles]
It's like in the cinemas.
We're moving. I'm watching
so many fish jump everywhere!
I got it! It's the biggest one
I've ever seen! [sniffs]
And it's definitely premium!
I'll make sure to call you later,
okay, princess?
Yeah, yeah. Bye. [laughs]
[Sandra] Okay.
Okay, Marta. Yeah.
Ivan, all I wanted to do
was be done with work,
but now here you are
starting problems for everyone.
This is like
when we remodeled the house, Ivan.
Another mess and it's your fault.
That wasn't all me, Sandra, that was
It was a difficult time
for both of us, remember?
- I remember.
- You and I barely survived.
- We couldn't scrounge up enough
- Yeah, true.
for you to buy screw pasta.
[snorts] And then Ivandro,
he would say, "Hey." [chuckles]
He would go,
"Hey, papa, can we have beef this time?"
- I gave him beef ramen instead.
- [laughs] That's right, you did.
And sometimes, when you did want meat,
you would take us to my mom's.
Even if you hated her,
you loved how she cooked.
- I know that.
- [laughs]
- Please, Sandra.
- Huh?
Don't throw our family away like this.
Please don't.
Stay in the house we built together.
[audience exclaiming]
Get in here.
- [Sandra, Ivan] Ivandro!
- What a couple.
Aw. It looks
like you're working things out.
- [Sandra] Stop it.
- [Ivandro] I'm loving it.
- Nah. Unless your mom wants me back.
- Give me a break.
- See, Mom?
- You two stop playing around!
- It's a serious matter.
- [Ivan] I am serious.
Plus, your father's an idiot.
Oh, oh, Ivan. I just got a text
from that gossip, Marta.
She said Marinho is looking for you, Ivan.
- He thinks you broke the city's plumbing.
- The pipe broke at the wrong time.
It's just like with Ivandro,
it was an accident.
[audience laughs]
Oh, really?
So I was an accident?
- [Sandra] What
- Was my whole life a lie?
It's all good, Ivandro.
We'll get you a shrink.
- Whatever.
- [Sandra] Are you crying?
- [Ivandro whimpers]
- Don't worry.
If you want me to go,
I'll find someone who wants me.
Now excuse me while I go shower
and fix up my curls!
- I'm not allowing that. No, Ivan.
- [Ivan] Yeah.
Ivan, I'm still going back
to the station with you.
- [crowd] Water! We want our water back!
- [Ivan] Bad.
- Come on. Hold it, hold it. Come on!
- [crowd continues]
- [Sandra] Is everyone crazy?
- [Ivan] Calm down.
- [Sandra] Come down, everyone!
- [Alê] Hey! What is going on here?
[Marinho] Look at who it is.
You're lucky! I would kick your ass,
but I refuse to with women watching.
Don't worry about us, Marinho.
Sandra, why don't we go to the cafe
- [Sandra] I can't let Ivan
- [Ivan] You remember our vows?
Vows to love, cherish each other,
and not let people other people kill us.
- Sir, please, could you
- [audience laughs]
- My ex-husband meant no harm.
- Sandra, you don't need to settle this.
This is got nothing to do with you.
This is between me and
[sensual music playing]
- Hey, hey, look here! Enough.
- [music stops]
Listen. You filled the hole on your own,
you'll dig it up and do it on your own.
Marinho, Marinho! Did I miss the part
where you beat up Ivan
- or did I make it?
- You're just in time.
- Ah!
- Don't worry. Oh.
Open your hole right now!
Oh! Oh, don't talk like that,
I'll feel it in my What? Uh
- [all] Huh?
- I don't know.
No. I messed it up.
- [all laughing]
- I got it now, I got it.
- Open your hole right now!
- [Sandra] Yes!
Don't talk like that.
I can feel my heart pounding.
[Marinho] Come down.
- [indistinct chatter]
- [audience cheering]
I took a bath.
I used the intimate soap that Sandra had.
- What?
- [people exclaiming]
That soap is only for women, Ivan.
And I also used your Gillette.
- The one you use
- Wait. The Gillette?
Is that the same razor I use for shaving
when I stay at your house? [grunting]
- Let's go, Robson.
- [Robson grunts]
- [Ivan] Hey, man. My God.
- [Alê, Marinho] Are you alright?
[Alê] Watch where you're going.
We thank you, God,
for this gift you give us!
[indistinct chatter, laughter]
- That was a scripted fall.
- Facts.
[all laughing]
It was believable.
[Robson] Let me do it again.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
The same razor you gave me
to shave my beard off with?
[grunts] Move it.
- [Jerusa scoffs] I can't believe it!
- [Ivan] No, Jerusa!
- [Marinho] What a show.
- Ivan, you stole the show.
I can't believe I came all this way
to find out you smell like vagina
and you're still with your wife.
I thought you promised me
you left this tramp behind, Ivan.
Come again?
- Are you deaf?
- You're the one who's calling me a tramp?
- You see any other tramps?
- [Sandra] He can't afford
an ice cream cone for you.
That's all I need.
[audience exclaiming]
See that, Sandra?
[audience cheering]
She's satisfied
with the cone that I have for her.
[Marinho] Hey, you listen here.
Just don't go messing
with the subway cables, got that?
Yeah, I do.
- [Sandra] Careful, Ivan.
- I'll try to.
[Alê] I've gotta go get ready for a date.
Listen here. I am finished.
I swear you will never ever get
another nude pic from me.
- And that's a promise!
- [Ivan] Jerusa, wait!
Come back, Jerusa!
[grunts, spits]
[grunting] Oh, Sandra. Oh.
[grunting] Oh, Sandra.
- [Sandra] Ivan?
- Yeah.
- [grunts] There's, uh
- Are you okay, Ivan?
probably dirt in there.
Can you blow on my [gasps]
- Ivan, you're filthy. You fix it?
- I stepped on a wire. What?
Well?
Uh, open up the faucet
and check for water.
- [Marta] Let's go, man.
- [Ivan] I always keep my promises!
- It's back! The water!
- [Ivan] Told you!
- [Alê] Yay! We finally have water!
- [audience cheering]
Oh, Migué. You can go shower now.
Yeah, I will. My excuses are gone.
- Great.
- [Ivan] Yeah.
I never believed you'd be able to solve
such a big mess, but you did.
Yeah, now Sandra should
get rid of her big mess.
- My honey.
- [Alê] Aren't you so sweet.
I've finished my work and I want you.
- Let's go play.
- [Alê] Mmm. Thought you'd never ask.
[audience exclaiming]
Looks like you made another conquest.
It's true, a worker bee could never resist
a queen like this broad.
- [rolls tongue]
- [both laugh]
[Ivan] That's right!
[Alê] I won't be gentle. [chuckles]
[audience applauding]
Oh my, I've got a feeling the queen bee
is gonna put him to work!
- Good for her.
- [all chuckling]
You all have no idea how relieved I am
about fixing everything.
I give thanks to God
that all of it's done,
and for clearing my name too.
- [Sandra] Yeah.
- [Ivandro] Holy moly!
[Sandra, Ivan] What?
- [Ivandro] The subway is a disaster!
- How so?
I was down there
and a blackout happened out of nowhere!
- This old lady grabbed onto me.
- [chuckles]
She must've thought
that my leg was her cane.
- [all laughing]
- It was a close one.
You know why? Some huge moron,
probably with no brain
- [Ivan] Uh
- messed with the wires and, boom!
The guy messed with the hole
and the cables too.
The power's out everywhere.
I still can't believe it!
[audience laughing]
[theme song playing]
[theme song continues]
[music fades]