Friends from College (2017) s01e05 Episode Script
Party Bus
Here.
Open it.
Marianne, I I appreciate all the thought that went into this, but You're going through so much right now.
You've lost a child.
Well, we didn't lose a child, it was a failed IVF cycle, so I think what Lisa's trying to say is that we just need a little time.
And space to move on.
It's not about moving on, it's about acceptance and closure.
And, I mean, it was really expensive, it was, like, $30,000.
How How do you know that? You're staying with me, it's all you talk about and I read your mail.
You know, we're just not really big on rituals.
That's valid, but I have to ask you to light the wick.
- Can you hold that? - Yeah.
Yep.
- It's working.
- [Marianne.]
Okay.
You guys are going to have a child.
It might not be on your calendar, but it will be on the universe's calendar.
I'm gonna leave you two alone now.
Hey, we're gonna try again.
[Lisa.]
It just sucks that it happened when I didn't want it to and and now I can't make it work any way I try.
- It's fine.
- It's fine.
No, it's good.
[Lisa.]
Shit, that tree's gonna go up.
We didn't see it.
[pan sizzles.]
The eggs are burning.
Honey, the eggs are burning.
It's okay.
- I'm gonna go to bed.
- Okay.
Whoa.
Lots of hits.
North Fork? They make wine on Long Island? - Washing dishes, huh? - Yes, I am.
- Can you stop staring at me? - [1940s voice.]
But you're so pretty.
Why are you doing a 1940s guy? I just wanted to see if you're okay.
I'm fine.
Wow.
What's this? It's, like, a wine from the North Fork of Long Island.
Hey, you know what? Why don't we go wine-tasting? - Wine-tasting? - Yeah.
No, I think I'd rather just stay in and watch a dumb movie and sleep.
Very cool.
Or we could round up the crew and get a party bus and go check it out.
- A party bus? - Yeah! Yeah, it'll be great.
I really think we need this.
I think it would be good for us and I am positive it would make you feel better.
And, plus, these Long Island wines, they say it's the new Napa Valley and Okay, let's do it.
- Really? - Yeah.
- So you're not humoring me? - No.
- It'll be fun.
- I love you, honey.
[1940s voice.]
I'll see you, tutz.
- [1940s voice.]
Take care, darling.
- Take care.
Hit the bricks.
Get to the workplace, Rosie the Riveter.
[mimics machinery.]
[therapist.]
So, how was your conversation with Ethan? When we spoke last week, you said you were going to end the affair.
I'm ending it this weekend.
We're going on a wine-tasting trip.
And why does everyone insist on calling it an affair? - What would you call it? - I don't believe in labels.
- Would you consider yourself married? - I'm losing my train of thought.
Can you stay focused, please? Is it gonna be just the two of you on this trip? No! Are you crazy? The whole friend group is going.
I'm worried about his reaction, which is why I'm doing it in public.
What do you mean, public? I'm gonna tell him on the party bus and let him deal.
I hope you're writing down the word "breakthrough".
I am not.
[rap music plays.]
Oh, my God.
Ladies, your chariot awaits.
I'm really glad you went for the heartbeat laser option.
- It's classy.
- Real classy.
No, it's dangerous.
[rap music blares.]
[gives snort of derision.]
Hi! [cheering.]
- What is this? - [Lisa.]
Party bus! Party bus! Party bus, it's a party bus! Hey, welcome, friends, to adult spring break! I want everyone to take a gander at the itineraries Lisa and I prepared.
- Urgh! I wouldn't touch that.
- Why not? You're good.
I Purell that real heavy after every go.
- Thank you, Joe.
- Why? - [Lisa.]
Let's not ask questions.
- What happened to the pole? So I am very excited about exploring the burgeoning local Long Island wine scene with you guys.
Some are calling it the new Napa.
I never heard that.
Okay.
So, anyway, we are we're gonna hit four of the North Fork's premier vineyards.
- Hear, hear! Cheers to that! - Well, thank you, Felix.
- I like your attitude, Felix.
- Yes, you're welcome.
And I want everyone to know that after a long talk with Max last night, I have decided to go ahead and try to like you.
Which was a conversation we had in the privacy of our own home just between us.
- [Felix.]
I'm sorry.
- [Nick.]
That's sweet.
I want everyone to know I am not here to judge how unhealthy or juvenile these friendships are.
I just wanna You know what, let's just get wasted.
That is achievable! [whoops.]
Okay, we have to pace ourselves, because at the fourth vineyard, after our tour, we are going to a private dinner in one of the most pristine beaches on the North Fork, and time that to coincide with Ethan vomiting! [murmurs of agreement.]
Very good, but actually quite the opposite.
I will enjoy Ethan swallowing vomit.
[all talking over one another.]
One's out and one's in.
Hilarious.
[Max.]
It's short on details.
[Nick.]
Guys, just let him talk.
- Let him talk.
Come on.
Alright.
- You're right.
Okay, hun, you got this.
[Nick.]
Go.
Dinner is going to coincide with It still feels confusing.
[all talk at once.]
[in goofy voice.]
Alright, okay.
Are you guys done yet? Is everybody done or are we still gonna keep going with the interjections? Okay, what are we doing? [makes gargling noise.]
Okay, this just got weird.
Continue.
- Dinner is going to coincide - Oh, my God.
With sunset on the Peconic Bay.
[noises of approval.]
My buddy here says you guys are gonna be the new Napa.
Napa? - Yeah.
- Wait a minute, bud.
You can't compare us to Napa.
They've been doing this for 400 years.
We've pretty much just started and the climate's less than ideal, pal.
Got it.
Sorry about that.
It's alright.
No worries.
I'm sure it's great.
You must have a lot of people coming to taste wines.
[guide.]
We actually do.
- What are you filming? - It's cool.
When are you gonna watch it? Hey, I'm really sorry to hear the news.
I was so sure it was gonna work.
In my head, it already had.
I was never so optimistic.
You're so young, Froshy.
At my age, it only works 35% of the time, so Well, I'm surprised you're, you know, out doing this.
Yeah, I'm surprised, too.
Ethan thought it would be a good idea.
- That makes sense.
- Yeah.
Here is our sparkling Pinot Noir.
This is Springsteen's favorite.
- [Ethan.]
Cool.
- [Nick.]
Awesome.
[Nick.]
What wine is your favorite? Which do you like to drink? I'm sober, dude.
[bartender.]
Alright, guys, next we have our walking red Cabernet.
Great for both binge watching and binge drinking.
[Ethan.]
Nicely played, Jesse! This goes great with a rigatoni bolognese, a lamb chop and any type of white fish.
- So basically just food.
- Pretty much, yes.
- Okay.
- It's good.
- To the friend group.
- [all.]
To the friend group! [all.]
Cheers! [Marianne.]
Yeah, new friends! New friends, yeah.
Urgh! - [Max.]
Oh, my God.
- What happened in my mouth? - It isn't that bad.
- Are you kidding? - It's bad.
- It smells like perfume.
But then it tastes like perfume.
I'm getting a hint of Robitussin with a patina of Pop Rocks.
[all.]
Yes.
I'm getting more of like a New Coke with like a Mountain Dew Red kind of You know, it's like very sugar forward.
It's like it doesn't wanna be in your mouth.
- It is fighting.
- That is great.
It feels like I'm in a bubble bath and I dip my head under the water and I choked.
[Sam.]
Yeah! [Marianne.]
That's good, yeah.
How is everything? - [Ethan.]
Fantastic.
- [all.]
Great.
So next what we're gonna pour for you is our Red State red Merlot.
- [Ethan.]
The Red State red Merlot! - The owner is tight with Christie.
[Ethan.]
Understood.
This is great for both Republicans and Democrats.
- [Nick.]
Okay.
- [Max.]
Okay.
[Jesse.]
I've begged my boss to change the name.
We're losing half the customers.
- [Ethan.]
That's probably the reason.
- [Marianne.]
The name.
- [Nick.]
Yeah, it's definitely the name.
- [Max.]
Oh, guys Guys What are you guys doing? - Slo-mo walk.
- Just doing slow motion.
- Slo-mo, it's really cool.
- Blink slow.
Hey, Lisa.
Felix, don't worry about it, okay? No, I just wanna say You know, there's something a mentor of mine used to say that I always found helpful.
He used to say, "It's just a bunch of cells.
" Oh.
Okay.
Yeah, thank you.
It's really funny when you think about it.
Yeah.
Erm Okay.
- Alright.
Okay.
- Okay.
Thanks.
And, hey, don't beat yourself up about it.
Because 5% or 6% of the time you can chalk it all up to lab error.
Okay.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- How did that go? - Really well.
Yeah.
You were right, she needed to hear from me.
[Ethan.]
What's going on? - Felix just said the weirdest thing.
- [in nerd voice.]
That's a big surprise.
Can you stop with the voice? Sorry.
I didn't know you were being serious.
What? 5% to 6% of the time it doesn't work because of lab error.
Oh, weird.
Well, I guess 95% of the time it is what we think it is - a failed IVF cycle.
I know, but 5% to 6% is huge.
I mean why would he tell me that? That's like as if Marianne out of our group just disappeared.
It's more like if a quarter of Marianne disappeared.
- Are you listening? - Of course, but I don't want you to worry.
I really want us to try to focus on moving forward.
Yeah, you're right.
No, I've been taking these doctors' opinions much too seriously.
We should just you know, lighten up and have fun.
- Who cares? - That's not what I meant.
- Hey! What's up, nerds? - Hey, buddy.
Have you tried the candied walnuts.
They're sick! Hit me.
Oh, seal thing! Ow! - Dude, what the hell, man? - Sorry.
You got it this time.
- Yes! - Still got it! - Still got it.
- Come on, let's get wasted! - Let's do it.
Come on, bro.
- Okay.
- You want more of my nuts in your face? - No, I'm good.
- Just your wife? - Hilarious, yeah.
- Bro? - Lisa - Your wife liked my nuts in her face.
- I got you, man.
So this is the size of the baby that Ethan and I did not have.
[all.]
Oh I'm an expert and that's too big.
- [Felix.]
That's Wow! - [Sam.]
Gross! [Max.]
You ate your baby! - [noise like a buzzer.]
Wrong subject! - Okay.
Hold on, watch this.
Hold on.
- Wow.
Do it.
- Oh, no.
What's going on here? Driver, put on my music.
You got it! Here we go.
["Tik Tok" by Kesha playing.]
[cheering.]
Oh, oh! Baby, I love you! Hold on.
I'm gonna do the worm.
No, hold on! He's just asleep.
That's the worm! Yeah! [Max.]
Hey! Please tell me that's grape juice.
- It's definitely grape juice.
- That's not grape juice.
Hey Oh, my God! It's not grape juice.
Okay.
We can't leave Joe in the van, right? It doesn't seem fair while we're getting our drink on.
- I was getting lonely.
- Yeah.
Wow! Okay, well, dude, I'd say, like, drinking and driving's uncool, you know? I got a high tolerance because of CrossFit.
Yeah.
I've heard that.
- I'm a doctor, and that is accurate.
- [Joe.]
Thank you.
Hey, how is your eye? It's looking pretty rough.
- Really? - Yeah.
You want these? Okay, no problem.
Here we go.
Yeah.
- We should get going.
- What do we want next? Because I'm buying because the doctor's in.
[laughter.]
Write me a prescription! That's so cool.
But Lisa's itinerary ends at sunset on the bay.
Objection, your Honor.
Not my itinerary.
Hey! I'm gonna do a pole dance, bitches! Who wants to get on this bus and see that shit, huh? Here we go! Woo! Yeah! You look great, baby.
Got some moves.
- Thanks, sweetheart.
- Just not the moves to get me pregnant.
[all cheer.]
To my infertility! That's a strange thing to cheer to.
No need to say that.
Not funny.
[horn honks.]
- [Ethan.]
Jesus! - [Nick.]
Oh, she touched it! You've got hand VD! - [Lisa.]
This is nice.
- It's alright, come on.
We party! Party! I like this one.
- [Marianne.]
The blend is really good.
- [Nick.]
This is like a singe of [Felix.]
Nice! Guys, I have a genius, original, unique idea.
Let's do the wave.
I'll start.
Yes! [Lisa.]
Again! Let's go! We're gonna miss sunset on the bay! Here we go! Alright! [all groan.]
Come on, guys, let's go to the sunset! - Oh, my God, you broke the chair! - What the hell? You totally just broke the chair.
- I'm sorry.
- I'm hungry.
Let's go eat.
No, see, but sunset on the bay has to happen at sunset.
The sun's gonna set here, too, so we'll just do sunset here.
Don't be ridiculous.
We can't do that because it is not [all.]
sunset on the bay.
You guys, I'm hungry, too.
I want McDonald's.
I want a Big Mac and a large fry and a McFlurry.
I love that idea.
[in hysterical high voice.]
Nobody's going to McDonald's! Alright? It's not our plan! Our plan? It's not It's not our plan! Don't call it our plan.
[Ethan.]
It is our plan.
Does anybody wanna come and see me perform in my Whitesnake cover band this weekend? - [Sam.]
Yes.
- We're pretty good.
- [Max.]
I do.
- [Sam.]
Yes.
- Where are you going? - To McDonald's! And don't try to stop me! I'm not trying to stop you.
Well, they're circling the drain.
[Max.]
Yeah, it looks bad, right? That's not good.
Lisa, come back! Come here, now! Stop! - Lisa, please! - I'm going to McDonald's! Just come here! Come on, this is stupid! Let's go! - I see you! - No, you don't.
- Stay there.
- No, I won't.
Lisa.
Lisa! Lisa! Lisa! Go away! Lisa! I gotta get out of here! [yells.]
Let me out of here! There you are! Too many doors.
[engine whirrs.]
Come on, Lisa! - Lisa, where are you? - Get off! Get off! I fell asleep.
Okay, hold on one second, sir.
I'm sorry.
- You can't be in here.
- I'm sorry.
- I know.
- Can we please have a moment? - Be gone by the time I'm back.
- You got it, alright.
I got it.
- Are you sure you don't need help? - I don't Why are you running away from me? I don't wanna be here anymore.
This is all for you, okay? Everybody was trying to help and I'm trying to help.
There's only one thing that's gonna help me! Well, what is that? Having a baby! Come on, honey, that's not a fair position, okay? Do you understand? What are we gonna do, just be miserable until it happens? I wanted to stay home! I wanted to stay home and watch movies and I wanted to sleep.
Why can't you be in this with me? - I am in this with you! - Why am I sad and you're not sad? I am sad, too.
I don't wanna be alone in this.
Honey, you're not alone in this.
If we could co-have a baby, then we would, but we can't.
And apparently, we can't co-lose one, either.
I do not know what to do for you.
You know, I'm having a hard time with this conversation with these glasses.
I mean, you look like Prince and it's distracting.
Okay, alright.
Well, then, is that easier for you? Oh, my God! What did Are you okay? [Nick.]
Again.
[all cheer.]
- That was amazing! - You guys wanna see something cool? Yeah, we do.
Let's see it, buddy boy.
[Marianne.]
What am I looking at right now? That's me getting a hummer.
Next round's on me.
Hey! What are you drinking? Red, white, dry or sweet? Just kidding.
All they have is sweet.
Oh, no.
Erm I'm gonna I'll see you at the hotel thing tomorrow, right? I've been thinking maybe I should take a little step back for a while.
No! It just seems like you've got your hands full right now.
I mean, I do, but, you know, I still love to Hey Oh, fuck you.
It is like drinking a Cinnabon.
Are we just drinking simple syrup? Is that what it is? You guys have a driver, right? You're okay? We definitely have a driver.
[snores.]
What do we do? - I'll drive.
I only had white.
- Sweet.
Hey.
Is your eye okay? - Do you wanna stop and get some drops? - No, it's fine.
This does not have responsive steering.
Why are the back roads so busy? No, you're gonna have to get on the highway so we can get back to the city.
No, Ethan, wait! What about sunset on the bay? Tell me we're gonna make it to sunset on the bay.
- [Max.]
We gotta make it.
- [Nick.]
Please say we're gonna make it.
- It's supposed to cure cancer! - It's supposed to put hair on your head! [Sam.]
Ethan, I've heard it's sweeter than a champagne bidet.
I heard that sunset on the bay is like a three-hour orgasm.
[angrily.]
Hey, Marianne, shut up, okay? Ethan did not have to do all of this, he did this because he loves us! And if you're not gonna be helpful, then you shut up, Marianne! - Shut up, Marianne! One too far! - [Sam.]
Yeah, shut up! [Max.]
It's that time, Marianne! Marianne, will you clear that bridge? Seriously, are you gonna clear that bridge, babe? Seriously, are you gonna clear that - Marianne, no! - Stop! [Marianne.]
Sorry.
I was mad because I was singled out for something everyone else was doing.
I think everyone should've been yelled at.
Shit! How does it look? What's the damage? [Nick.]
I don't know, the vent has been knocked off, and the antenna, and the AC unit has gone completely, but otherwise Everybody change of plans.
Change of plans.
[laughter.]
- This is so good, guys.
- So good.
- This is really good.
- This is like heaven.
Oh, man.
Oh, my God.
To sunset in the parking lot! Sunset in the parking lot! I need more food in my belly.
Does anybody want anything? Large fries.
Alright.
I need cash.
I have no money.
I got nothing.
I'm saving my singles for Felix's pole-lates.
Does anyone know where where Felix went? - Have you guys seen - [Nick.]
What? Where's Felix? - On the bus.
- [all.]
Yeah, he's on the bus.
So who wants more fries? - Get three orders of fries.
- He's not on the bus.
- He's not on the bus.
- [Lisa.]
Did he No, he's not in there! He's not on the bus! He's not there, he's not on the bus.
He's not He's not in there! Felix! He's not I don't see him in there and he's not on the bus.
He's not in the bus, guys! He's not on the bus! He's not on the bus! Felix! Felix! I'm so glad you're here.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
I apologize.
- You left me here.
- I know.
I really We were gone and I looked around and I was like, "Oh, my God, where's Felix?" You didn't even text me.
I tried.
There was dead zones.
- There was dead zones.
For real.
- Why didn't you come back? I did! The second I saw, I was, like You didn't come back.
You left me here for 90 minutes! I didn't notice that one guy was in a big bus and you didn't notice that there was a big bus leaving.
Now you're blaming me, you fucking asshole? I feel like the point is The second I saw, oh, my God, Felix isn't here, I was like, "We gotta get him," and everyone was like, "Yeah, 100%, let's go get Felix, absolutely.
" They were cool with coming to get me? That's so nice.
100%.
They were really on board.
I would notice if you weren't there for 45 minutes.
I think we should take some time off.
Oh, no.
No.
You're a different person around them.
I don't know who that person is.
And I don't really like that person.
You guys are stuck in some 20-year time warp.
It's fucking pathetic.
- Did he just say we - [Ethan.]
Nick, be quiet.
Shit, they're coming.
Hey, man.
You okay, buddy? Not really.
Someone talk to me.
I'm really tired.
No! No! Get off me! No! [Nick.]
Joe.
You're sleeping.
Ethan?
Open it.
Marianne, I I appreciate all the thought that went into this, but You're going through so much right now.
You've lost a child.
Well, we didn't lose a child, it was a failed IVF cycle, so I think what Lisa's trying to say is that we just need a little time.
And space to move on.
It's not about moving on, it's about acceptance and closure.
And, I mean, it was really expensive, it was, like, $30,000.
How How do you know that? You're staying with me, it's all you talk about and I read your mail.
You know, we're just not really big on rituals.
That's valid, but I have to ask you to light the wick.
- Can you hold that? - Yeah.
Yep.
- It's working.
- [Marianne.]
Okay.
You guys are going to have a child.
It might not be on your calendar, but it will be on the universe's calendar.
I'm gonna leave you two alone now.
Hey, we're gonna try again.
[Lisa.]
It just sucks that it happened when I didn't want it to and and now I can't make it work any way I try.
- It's fine.
- It's fine.
No, it's good.
[Lisa.]
Shit, that tree's gonna go up.
We didn't see it.
[pan sizzles.]
The eggs are burning.
Honey, the eggs are burning.
It's okay.
- I'm gonna go to bed.
- Okay.
Whoa.
Lots of hits.
North Fork? They make wine on Long Island? - Washing dishes, huh? - Yes, I am.
- Can you stop staring at me? - [1940s voice.]
But you're so pretty.
Why are you doing a 1940s guy? I just wanted to see if you're okay.
I'm fine.
Wow.
What's this? It's, like, a wine from the North Fork of Long Island.
Hey, you know what? Why don't we go wine-tasting? - Wine-tasting? - Yeah.
No, I think I'd rather just stay in and watch a dumb movie and sleep.
Very cool.
Or we could round up the crew and get a party bus and go check it out.
- A party bus? - Yeah! Yeah, it'll be great.
I really think we need this.
I think it would be good for us and I am positive it would make you feel better.
And, plus, these Long Island wines, they say it's the new Napa Valley and Okay, let's do it.
- Really? - Yeah.
- So you're not humoring me? - No.
- It'll be fun.
- I love you, honey.
[1940s voice.]
I'll see you, tutz.
- [1940s voice.]
Take care, darling.
- Take care.
Hit the bricks.
Get to the workplace, Rosie the Riveter.
[mimics machinery.]
[therapist.]
So, how was your conversation with Ethan? When we spoke last week, you said you were going to end the affair.
I'm ending it this weekend.
We're going on a wine-tasting trip.
And why does everyone insist on calling it an affair? - What would you call it? - I don't believe in labels.
- Would you consider yourself married? - I'm losing my train of thought.
Can you stay focused, please? Is it gonna be just the two of you on this trip? No! Are you crazy? The whole friend group is going.
I'm worried about his reaction, which is why I'm doing it in public.
What do you mean, public? I'm gonna tell him on the party bus and let him deal.
I hope you're writing down the word "breakthrough".
I am not.
[rap music plays.]
Oh, my God.
Ladies, your chariot awaits.
I'm really glad you went for the heartbeat laser option.
- It's classy.
- Real classy.
No, it's dangerous.
[rap music blares.]
[gives snort of derision.]
Hi! [cheering.]
- What is this? - [Lisa.]
Party bus! Party bus! Party bus, it's a party bus! Hey, welcome, friends, to adult spring break! I want everyone to take a gander at the itineraries Lisa and I prepared.
- Urgh! I wouldn't touch that.
- Why not? You're good.
I Purell that real heavy after every go.
- Thank you, Joe.
- Why? - [Lisa.]
Let's not ask questions.
- What happened to the pole? So I am very excited about exploring the burgeoning local Long Island wine scene with you guys.
Some are calling it the new Napa.
I never heard that.
Okay.
So, anyway, we are we're gonna hit four of the North Fork's premier vineyards.
- Hear, hear! Cheers to that! - Well, thank you, Felix.
- I like your attitude, Felix.
- Yes, you're welcome.
And I want everyone to know that after a long talk with Max last night, I have decided to go ahead and try to like you.
Which was a conversation we had in the privacy of our own home just between us.
- [Felix.]
I'm sorry.
- [Nick.]
That's sweet.
I want everyone to know I am not here to judge how unhealthy or juvenile these friendships are.
I just wanna You know what, let's just get wasted.
That is achievable! [whoops.]
Okay, we have to pace ourselves, because at the fourth vineyard, after our tour, we are going to a private dinner in one of the most pristine beaches on the North Fork, and time that to coincide with Ethan vomiting! [murmurs of agreement.]
Very good, but actually quite the opposite.
I will enjoy Ethan swallowing vomit.
[all talking over one another.]
One's out and one's in.
Hilarious.
[Max.]
It's short on details.
[Nick.]
Guys, just let him talk.
- Let him talk.
Come on.
Alright.
- You're right.
Okay, hun, you got this.
[Nick.]
Go.
Dinner is going to coincide with It still feels confusing.
[all talk at once.]
[in goofy voice.]
Alright, okay.
Are you guys done yet? Is everybody done or are we still gonna keep going with the interjections? Okay, what are we doing? [makes gargling noise.]
Okay, this just got weird.
Continue.
- Dinner is going to coincide - Oh, my God.
With sunset on the Peconic Bay.
[noises of approval.]
My buddy here says you guys are gonna be the new Napa.
Napa? - Yeah.
- Wait a minute, bud.
You can't compare us to Napa.
They've been doing this for 400 years.
We've pretty much just started and the climate's less than ideal, pal.
Got it.
Sorry about that.
It's alright.
No worries.
I'm sure it's great.
You must have a lot of people coming to taste wines.
[guide.]
We actually do.
- What are you filming? - It's cool.
When are you gonna watch it? Hey, I'm really sorry to hear the news.
I was so sure it was gonna work.
In my head, it already had.
I was never so optimistic.
You're so young, Froshy.
At my age, it only works 35% of the time, so Well, I'm surprised you're, you know, out doing this.
Yeah, I'm surprised, too.
Ethan thought it would be a good idea.
- That makes sense.
- Yeah.
Here is our sparkling Pinot Noir.
This is Springsteen's favorite.
- [Ethan.]
Cool.
- [Nick.]
Awesome.
[Nick.]
What wine is your favorite? Which do you like to drink? I'm sober, dude.
[bartender.]
Alright, guys, next we have our walking red Cabernet.
Great for both binge watching and binge drinking.
[Ethan.]
Nicely played, Jesse! This goes great with a rigatoni bolognese, a lamb chop and any type of white fish.
- So basically just food.
- Pretty much, yes.
- Okay.
- It's good.
- To the friend group.
- [all.]
To the friend group! [all.]
Cheers! [Marianne.]
Yeah, new friends! New friends, yeah.
Urgh! - [Max.]
Oh, my God.
- What happened in my mouth? - It isn't that bad.
- Are you kidding? - It's bad.
- It smells like perfume.
But then it tastes like perfume.
I'm getting a hint of Robitussin with a patina of Pop Rocks.
[all.]
Yes.
I'm getting more of like a New Coke with like a Mountain Dew Red kind of You know, it's like very sugar forward.
It's like it doesn't wanna be in your mouth.
- It is fighting.
- That is great.
It feels like I'm in a bubble bath and I dip my head under the water and I choked.
[Sam.]
Yeah! [Marianne.]
That's good, yeah.
How is everything? - [Ethan.]
Fantastic.
- [all.]
Great.
So next what we're gonna pour for you is our Red State red Merlot.
- [Ethan.]
The Red State red Merlot! - The owner is tight with Christie.
[Ethan.]
Understood.
This is great for both Republicans and Democrats.
- [Nick.]
Okay.
- [Max.]
Okay.
[Jesse.]
I've begged my boss to change the name.
We're losing half the customers.
- [Ethan.]
That's probably the reason.
- [Marianne.]
The name.
- [Nick.]
Yeah, it's definitely the name.
- [Max.]
Oh, guys Guys What are you guys doing? - Slo-mo walk.
- Just doing slow motion.
- Slo-mo, it's really cool.
- Blink slow.
Hey, Lisa.
Felix, don't worry about it, okay? No, I just wanna say You know, there's something a mentor of mine used to say that I always found helpful.
He used to say, "It's just a bunch of cells.
" Oh.
Okay.
Yeah, thank you.
It's really funny when you think about it.
Yeah.
Erm Okay.
- Alright.
Okay.
- Okay.
Thanks.
And, hey, don't beat yourself up about it.
Because 5% or 6% of the time you can chalk it all up to lab error.
Okay.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- How did that go? - Really well.
Yeah.
You were right, she needed to hear from me.
[Ethan.]
What's going on? - Felix just said the weirdest thing.
- [in nerd voice.]
That's a big surprise.
Can you stop with the voice? Sorry.
I didn't know you were being serious.
What? 5% to 6% of the time it doesn't work because of lab error.
Oh, weird.
Well, I guess 95% of the time it is what we think it is - a failed IVF cycle.
I know, but 5% to 6% is huge.
I mean why would he tell me that? That's like as if Marianne out of our group just disappeared.
It's more like if a quarter of Marianne disappeared.
- Are you listening? - Of course, but I don't want you to worry.
I really want us to try to focus on moving forward.
Yeah, you're right.
No, I've been taking these doctors' opinions much too seriously.
We should just you know, lighten up and have fun.
- Who cares? - That's not what I meant.
- Hey! What's up, nerds? - Hey, buddy.
Have you tried the candied walnuts.
They're sick! Hit me.
Oh, seal thing! Ow! - Dude, what the hell, man? - Sorry.
You got it this time.
- Yes! - Still got it! - Still got it.
- Come on, let's get wasted! - Let's do it.
Come on, bro.
- Okay.
- You want more of my nuts in your face? - No, I'm good.
- Just your wife? - Hilarious, yeah.
- Bro? - Lisa - Your wife liked my nuts in her face.
- I got you, man.
So this is the size of the baby that Ethan and I did not have.
[all.]
Oh I'm an expert and that's too big.
- [Felix.]
That's Wow! - [Sam.]
Gross! [Max.]
You ate your baby! - [noise like a buzzer.]
Wrong subject! - Okay.
Hold on, watch this.
Hold on.
- Wow.
Do it.
- Oh, no.
What's going on here? Driver, put on my music.
You got it! Here we go.
["Tik Tok" by Kesha playing.]
[cheering.]
Oh, oh! Baby, I love you! Hold on.
I'm gonna do the worm.
No, hold on! He's just asleep.
That's the worm! Yeah! [Max.]
Hey! Please tell me that's grape juice.
- It's definitely grape juice.
- That's not grape juice.
Hey Oh, my God! It's not grape juice.
Okay.
We can't leave Joe in the van, right? It doesn't seem fair while we're getting our drink on.
- I was getting lonely.
- Yeah.
Wow! Okay, well, dude, I'd say, like, drinking and driving's uncool, you know? I got a high tolerance because of CrossFit.
Yeah.
I've heard that.
- I'm a doctor, and that is accurate.
- [Joe.]
Thank you.
Hey, how is your eye? It's looking pretty rough.
- Really? - Yeah.
You want these? Okay, no problem.
Here we go.
Yeah.
- We should get going.
- What do we want next? Because I'm buying because the doctor's in.
[laughter.]
Write me a prescription! That's so cool.
But Lisa's itinerary ends at sunset on the bay.
Objection, your Honor.
Not my itinerary.
Hey! I'm gonna do a pole dance, bitches! Who wants to get on this bus and see that shit, huh? Here we go! Woo! Yeah! You look great, baby.
Got some moves.
- Thanks, sweetheart.
- Just not the moves to get me pregnant.
[all cheer.]
To my infertility! That's a strange thing to cheer to.
No need to say that.
Not funny.
[horn honks.]
- [Ethan.]
Jesus! - [Nick.]
Oh, she touched it! You've got hand VD! - [Lisa.]
This is nice.
- It's alright, come on.
We party! Party! I like this one.
- [Marianne.]
The blend is really good.
- [Nick.]
This is like a singe of [Felix.]
Nice! Guys, I have a genius, original, unique idea.
Let's do the wave.
I'll start.
Yes! [Lisa.]
Again! Let's go! We're gonna miss sunset on the bay! Here we go! Alright! [all groan.]
Come on, guys, let's go to the sunset! - Oh, my God, you broke the chair! - What the hell? You totally just broke the chair.
- I'm sorry.
- I'm hungry.
Let's go eat.
No, see, but sunset on the bay has to happen at sunset.
The sun's gonna set here, too, so we'll just do sunset here.
Don't be ridiculous.
We can't do that because it is not [all.]
sunset on the bay.
You guys, I'm hungry, too.
I want McDonald's.
I want a Big Mac and a large fry and a McFlurry.
I love that idea.
[in hysterical high voice.]
Nobody's going to McDonald's! Alright? It's not our plan! Our plan? It's not It's not our plan! Don't call it our plan.
[Ethan.]
It is our plan.
Does anybody wanna come and see me perform in my Whitesnake cover band this weekend? - [Sam.]
Yes.
- We're pretty good.
- [Max.]
I do.
- [Sam.]
Yes.
- Where are you going? - To McDonald's! And don't try to stop me! I'm not trying to stop you.
Well, they're circling the drain.
[Max.]
Yeah, it looks bad, right? That's not good.
Lisa, come back! Come here, now! Stop! - Lisa, please! - I'm going to McDonald's! Just come here! Come on, this is stupid! Let's go! - I see you! - No, you don't.
- Stay there.
- No, I won't.
Lisa.
Lisa! Lisa! Lisa! Go away! Lisa! I gotta get out of here! [yells.]
Let me out of here! There you are! Too many doors.
[engine whirrs.]
Come on, Lisa! - Lisa, where are you? - Get off! Get off! I fell asleep.
Okay, hold on one second, sir.
I'm sorry.
- You can't be in here.
- I'm sorry.
- I know.
- Can we please have a moment? - Be gone by the time I'm back.
- You got it, alright.
I got it.
- Are you sure you don't need help? - I don't Why are you running away from me? I don't wanna be here anymore.
This is all for you, okay? Everybody was trying to help and I'm trying to help.
There's only one thing that's gonna help me! Well, what is that? Having a baby! Come on, honey, that's not a fair position, okay? Do you understand? What are we gonna do, just be miserable until it happens? I wanted to stay home! I wanted to stay home and watch movies and I wanted to sleep.
Why can't you be in this with me? - I am in this with you! - Why am I sad and you're not sad? I am sad, too.
I don't wanna be alone in this.
Honey, you're not alone in this.
If we could co-have a baby, then we would, but we can't.
And apparently, we can't co-lose one, either.
I do not know what to do for you.
You know, I'm having a hard time with this conversation with these glasses.
I mean, you look like Prince and it's distracting.
Okay, alright.
Well, then, is that easier for you? Oh, my God! What did Are you okay? [Nick.]
Again.
[all cheer.]
- That was amazing! - You guys wanna see something cool? Yeah, we do.
Let's see it, buddy boy.
[Marianne.]
What am I looking at right now? That's me getting a hummer.
Next round's on me.
Hey! What are you drinking? Red, white, dry or sweet? Just kidding.
All they have is sweet.
Oh, no.
Erm I'm gonna I'll see you at the hotel thing tomorrow, right? I've been thinking maybe I should take a little step back for a while.
No! It just seems like you've got your hands full right now.
I mean, I do, but, you know, I still love to Hey Oh, fuck you.
It is like drinking a Cinnabon.
Are we just drinking simple syrup? Is that what it is? You guys have a driver, right? You're okay? We definitely have a driver.
[snores.]
What do we do? - I'll drive.
I only had white.
- Sweet.
Hey.
Is your eye okay? - Do you wanna stop and get some drops? - No, it's fine.
This does not have responsive steering.
Why are the back roads so busy? No, you're gonna have to get on the highway so we can get back to the city.
No, Ethan, wait! What about sunset on the bay? Tell me we're gonna make it to sunset on the bay.
- [Max.]
We gotta make it.
- [Nick.]
Please say we're gonna make it.
- It's supposed to cure cancer! - It's supposed to put hair on your head! [Sam.]
Ethan, I've heard it's sweeter than a champagne bidet.
I heard that sunset on the bay is like a three-hour orgasm.
[angrily.]
Hey, Marianne, shut up, okay? Ethan did not have to do all of this, he did this because he loves us! And if you're not gonna be helpful, then you shut up, Marianne! - Shut up, Marianne! One too far! - [Sam.]
Yeah, shut up! [Max.]
It's that time, Marianne! Marianne, will you clear that bridge? Seriously, are you gonna clear that bridge, babe? Seriously, are you gonna clear that - Marianne, no! - Stop! [Marianne.]
Sorry.
I was mad because I was singled out for something everyone else was doing.
I think everyone should've been yelled at.
Shit! How does it look? What's the damage? [Nick.]
I don't know, the vent has been knocked off, and the antenna, and the AC unit has gone completely, but otherwise Everybody change of plans.
Change of plans.
[laughter.]
- This is so good, guys.
- So good.
- This is really good.
- This is like heaven.
Oh, man.
Oh, my God.
To sunset in the parking lot! Sunset in the parking lot! I need more food in my belly.
Does anybody want anything? Large fries.
Alright.
I need cash.
I have no money.
I got nothing.
I'm saving my singles for Felix's pole-lates.
Does anyone know where where Felix went? - Have you guys seen - [Nick.]
What? Where's Felix? - On the bus.
- [all.]
Yeah, he's on the bus.
So who wants more fries? - Get three orders of fries.
- He's not on the bus.
- He's not on the bus.
- [Lisa.]
Did he No, he's not in there! He's not on the bus! He's not there, he's not on the bus.
He's not He's not in there! Felix! He's not I don't see him in there and he's not on the bus.
He's not in the bus, guys! He's not on the bus! He's not on the bus! Felix! Felix! I'm so glad you're here.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
I apologize.
- You left me here.
- I know.
I really We were gone and I looked around and I was like, "Oh, my God, where's Felix?" You didn't even text me.
I tried.
There was dead zones.
- There was dead zones.
For real.
- Why didn't you come back? I did! The second I saw, I was, like You didn't come back.
You left me here for 90 minutes! I didn't notice that one guy was in a big bus and you didn't notice that there was a big bus leaving.
Now you're blaming me, you fucking asshole? I feel like the point is The second I saw, oh, my God, Felix isn't here, I was like, "We gotta get him," and everyone was like, "Yeah, 100%, let's go get Felix, absolutely.
" They were cool with coming to get me? That's so nice.
100%.
They were really on board.
I would notice if you weren't there for 45 minutes.
I think we should take some time off.
Oh, no.
No.
You're a different person around them.
I don't know who that person is.
And I don't really like that person.
You guys are stuck in some 20-year time warp.
It's fucking pathetic.
- Did he just say we - [Ethan.]
Nick, be quiet.
Shit, they're coming.
Hey, man.
You okay, buddy? Not really.
Someone talk to me.
I'm really tired.
No! No! Get off me! No! [Nick.]
Joe.
You're sleeping.
Ethan?