Funny Woman (2023) s01e05 Episode Script
Episode 5
This programme contains strong
language and adult themes.
I had no idea that word is even in a
woman's vocabulary.
I can only imagine the distress it
caused to both crew
and members of the audience unlucky
enough to hear it.
I'm so sorry. In my defence, sir -I
don't want to hear your defence.
I don't want to hear anything coming
from your gutter mouth.
You have displayed a degree of moral turpitude
that is absolutely unacceptable.
You have single-handedly set fire
to everything this network stands for.
As of today, you are suspended from
your duties.
No!
But But who'll be in Jim and
Barbara?
Clive Richardson will continue in
his role as Jim.
What?!
He wasn't the one that used foul language.
But he was the one who did the foul deed.
We have issued a press release
citing inability to work
due to sudden illness as the
explanation for your absence.
Your Network pass.
You can see yourself out.
Sous aucun pretexte je ne veux
Avoir de reflexes malheureux
Il faut que tu m'explique un peu mieux
Comment te dire adieu
Mon coeur de silex vite prend feu
Ton coeur de Pyrex resiste au feu
Je suis bien perplexe, je ne veux
Me resoudre aux adieux
Je sais bien qu'un ex
Amour n'a pas de chance, ou si peu
Mais pour moi, une ex plication
Vaudrait mieux
Sous aucun pretexte je ne veux
Devant toi surexposer mes yeux
Derriere un Kleenex
Je saurais mieux
Comment te dire adieu
Comment te dire adieu ♪
(HE EXHALES)
I'm going to need a three-Martini
lunch after this
to get over the shock.
(CLEARS THROAT)
- Patsy?
- Yes, darling?
Call Dr Woodcock and ask him to
scribble one of his special
sicknotes, would you?
Will do, darling.
Nothing too terminal.
Roger.
The press must never find out.
I'm merely trying to salvage the situation.
How am I meant to make a living in
the meantime?
- The Carry On film?
- Oh, yeah?
It's gone.
They just cast a bubbly little
blonde called Barbara Windsor.
Besides, obviously you can't work.
You're infectious.
Orthorubulavirus?
- Roger that.
- Thank you so much, Dr Woodcock.
Yes, will do. Bye-bye.
- What have I got?
- Mumps.
Oh, great. Now I have to go around
looking like a hamster.
You're in quarantine. You don't GO
AROUND anywhere.
(SIGHS)
Darling, let me help you. Where will
you go?
- Probably just go home.
- Go in disguise.
- Oh, I'll go in disguise.
- As what?
Some woman who's been shat on from a
very great height.
They've met, in that case.
(BELL RINGS)
(BELL RINGS AGAIN)
- Morning.
- It's Len. Len Phillips,
Evening Gazette. Remember me?
Wondered if you had any news on when
she'll be back on the box?
Sorry, Mr Phillips. Len. No, not yet.
She's very poorly with ortho
Mumps! She's got mumps.
Face like a bowling ball! It's a terrible
Send the best from us, and tell her
we're sorry about her and Clive.
Right, OK.
Morning.
It's like wearing a pair of wet trousers.
Feels horrible, but there's nothing
else you can do
apart from wait for them to dry out.
Well, she should have thought of
the consequences
before she went off effing and
blinding in front of her boss!
I knew her toilet mouth would get
her into trouble one day.
I'm sorry I let you down.
You didn't let me down.
- You were provoked, love.
- I'm not
saying. I'm just saying
She should have stuck with Aidan.
Listen
Miss you, Bubble. Chin up.
Yin tan iddle I po.
Tin tan iddle I po ♪
(EXHALES)
All right, this is fucking
ridiculous!
You've made your point. Are we
literally seven years old?!
We still need to get a show on the
air this week.
Yeah, well, we had a show, but
thanks to Clive
and his incredible performing cock,
we don't have a Sophie.
Yes, well, let's pick ourselves up
- and move on as best we can.
- No.
Bill's right. Clive fucked it.
The rest of us manage to keep our
private lives separate.
- Why can't you?
- Because he's
sexually incontinent.
We had the biggest hit of all our careers,
and Clive had to jizz all over it.
And you had Sophie Straw. She's a goddess.
Where the fuck do you get off
lecturing me about relationships?!
If Ted Sargent knew about Bill
hanging around in toilets,
he would shut down the whole fucking
- Leave Bill alone.
Says the man who's so confused about
which way to swing,
he can't even get his own wife pregnant.
Here's a tip, Tony - try fucking
- her.
- Shut up, Clive.
Oh, I'm sorry, was that some big
secret, was it?
Bill, what have you said?
- Nothing.
- Come on, you know what
Bill's like after he's had a few.
- Tone, Tone Fuck off!
- Wait
Don't listen to him!
- I trusted you!
- Stop this! This is
not productive.
Oh, it's Dennis, the great
peacemaker, makes everything better,
except the dark hole at the centre
of his own marriage.
Whoa, Jesus, Bill, take it easy.
Don't have a go at Dennis.
Thank you, Clive. I'm quite capable
of defending myself.
Then how is it you haven't noticed
Edith's making a fool of YOU?
I'm only saying what everyone in the
entire building already knows.
She's banging Vernon Whit bait.
Whitbait
Vernon Vernon
Uh
Whit Whit Whitshire
Whitchstable Whitstable?
Whit Vernon Whit Vernon
Whitfuck?
Vernon It's Whitfield.
BOTH:Not the face!
Did you just try and punch me,
Dennis?!
- Yes, and I'd like another go.
- No,
no, no, no, no!
THE KINKS - You Really Got me
(COMMOTION)
Leave it! Leave it!
Stop this! This is so silly.
Silly? You're silly.
Yeah, you really got me now
Got me so I don't know what I'm
doing
Oh, yeah, you really got me now
You got me so I can't sleep at night
You really got me, you really got
me ♪
Bill, put the knife down.
You little shit.
You fucking killed him.
Dennis?
OK, who do you want to be?
Sandie
or Cilla?
Can't have you stuck in here for
weeks on end.
You need to take these puppies for a
- walk.
- Does it suit me?
(LAUGHS)
Um It's a touch Mediaeval monk.
Well, that's my favourite look.
I feel so stupid. Why didn't I just
keep my trap shut?
Uh, no. Why didn't Clive keep his
trousers shut?
In my women's workshop, we've got a
technical word
for men who behave like that.
- Oh, yeah?
- Arseholes.
(THEY LAUGH)
It is unfair dismissal, though.
So you can complain to your union.
Marj is right.
Why didn't Dennis cover your back?
Andrew O'Shea would have stuck up
for me.
Dennis didn't know. Ted got me on my
own, and that was that.
You go back in to Ted Sargent, and
you demand your job back.
You look him straight in the eye -
Imagine him taking a great big shit.
Trust me, it works.
It does.
I've been banned from TV Centre.
They took away my pass.
I wouldn't get through the door.
MUSIC: Sandi Shaw - Don't Run Away
Run away, run away
Run away, run away
Run away, run away
Darling baby
Baby, I am so much
- Can I see your pass, Miss?
- Haven't
seen you here before.
- What show are you on?
- Top of the
Pops, innit?
- She's taller than I thought.
- Who?
Sandi Shaw, innit?
Hang on, don't they film Top of the
Pops in Manchester?
..each and every o-other day
You are on my mind
But I know you have been
The wandering kind ♪
Sophie, wait!
Dennis. What happened to your face?
- What are you doing here?
- Getting my
job back.
It was unfair dismissal.
Going to give old bully boy Ted
Sargent a mouthful.
This is not the way to do it. And
what is this?
Dennis Ah, Eunice.
May I help you?
Uh, I just wanted to let Ted know
that everything is under control.
All right?
Come along, dear.
Now that I've found you, don't run away
Oi? Oi, you!
Tell me to stay, baby
Tell me you're mine all of the time
- Soph?
- I leave you for five minutes,
and you end up
looking like the Bash Street Kids.
You can talk. You look like Nana
Mouskouri in a wind tunnel.
I'm so sorry I've messed everything up.
Soph, Clive was being a wanker.
If only that was all he'd been.
- What are we going to do?
- Just keep a
low profile.
For the time being, at least.
I'll talk to Ted. You'll be back in
the show.
I promise.
Ah, Dennis, Look, I
You there?
Soph
Oi, there she is!
Run away, run away
Come here!
Run away, run away
Run away, run away
That way, chaps.
Run away, run away
Darling baby ♪
Have I got spinach in my teeth?
Only a little bit.
Anyone missing a crucial clipboard?
I think that's the producer's.
Oh, is that the duty log? I love
reading that!
Some of the calls we get are
hilarious. What does it say?
"As a keen gardener, I am deeply
offended by your presenters
referring to tomatoes as a vegetable.
They are a fruit."Thank God we
finally cleared that up.
Oh, yeah, I have to agree with this one.
"Andrew O'Shea's garish ties look
like sick."
Hey, leave my ties alone. I think
they're snazzy.
"Get that woman off our televisions.
Can't you find a de
decent White girl?"
Can you not leave things like this
lying around? Thank you.
Going live. Five, four
Oh, my God, Marjorie, is it true?
She's not going to be in the show
any more?
- She's just off sick.
- What with?
VD?Why would you say that?
Clive Richardson is a notorious
naughty boy.
I wouldn't mind catching a dose off him.
A friend of a friend knows someone
who knows Clive.
And they said that the real story is
that Sophie Straw's been fired.
(LAUGHTER)
Whoops. My hand slipped.
Every day you look at these papers, yeah,
and you just gossip about how much
you fancy all the fellas,
and how all the women are just
useless sluts.
Why can't you be nice about other
girls?
Sophie Straw is my friend,
and a person that you know, an
actual person with actual feelings.
Sorry. I didn't realise you were a lesbian.
(GIGGLING)
(GASPING)
Whoops.
My hand slipped.
Oh!
(GIGGLING AND APPLAUSE)
MUSIC: # Nico - These days
I stopped my rambling
I don't do too much gambling these days
These days I seem to think about
How all the changes came about
♪
Thank you, Andrew. Well, in light of
the weather we've been having,
I went in search of the perfect umbrella.
A simple task, you might think.
But let me tell you, umbrellas range
from the sublime
to
the ridiculous.
I bet you could make even that hat
look beautiful, Diane.
(HE LAUGHS)
There. Oh. Pretty as a picture.
Oh, my God.
The state of this place. What are
you doing here?
I've got my women's group coming round.
- Sorry.
- I've got it, I've got it.
Sorry, Marj. I'll go in the bedroom.
You don't have to go.
Oh
- I think she does.
- She can join in if
she likes.
- Really?
- Yeah. You got a hand mirror?
Will a compact do?
- Perfect.
- Are we doing make-up?
We're going to make friends with our fannies.
(LAUGHTER)
OK, gather round.
I never knew it was so busy down there.
I think mine even winked at me.
Mine looked a bit like David Niven.
(ALL LAUGH)
All right, settle down.
Who wants to kick off?
Marj?
No, do you want to?
I finally walked out on my husband.
And I walked out on the kids.
Oh, my God.
I love my children, but
I didn't choose to be a mother.
He's not a bad man, it's just
It was all just so wrong.
Made me ill.
The grief at leaving my kids
is
spectacular.
I've been called heartless.
Negligent. Scum.
But I had to get out, otherwise
those kids wouldn't have a mum at all.
People think motherhood's mandatory,
and fatherhood's voluntary.
- Too bloody true.
- We're not here to judge.
Here, how's Barbara?
You want to be looking after her, mate.
- She's a diamond.
- Yeah, she
certainly is.
Tell her to get well soon, yeah?
Will do, mate, will do.
I'm sick of people thinking that I'm
responsible for
the wellbeing of a fictional character.
I think the lines are slightly blurred.
Fucking hell. What's the title of
this week's show?
- Mayhem at the Morgue?
- Bombay
- Calling.
- I wish it was.
Love to be out of this dump.
Barbara is away, and Jim is hosting
high tea
for his political counterpart from Bombay.
- Is this your idea, Den?
- No. It's Ted
Sargent's suggestion.
And that means we've got no fucking
choice in the matter.
Who's going to play it, then? Jim's
Indian counterpart?
Oh, please! Not some bloke with boot
polish on his face.
Absolutely not. There'll be no minstrelsy.
I've a very good actor in mind for
the role.
- Good.
- I, um
Um
I should, um
OK No I should, um
Before I went had a
Maybe just a bit What
What -Clive, are you coughing up a
furball or trying to apologise?
Yes. That.
The last one. You know, um
I am sorry.
Yes, well, I don't suppose any of us
covered ourselves in glory.
Very good.
All right.
Ha, yes
Good, right
Oh, thanks, Tone.
Chaps? This is Harinder Singh.
- Hello.
- Tony Holmes.
Bill Gardener. Are you all right, mate?
- You know Clive Richardson.
- Ah.
Who's in charge here?
Very good. Point already.
Take a seat, please.
Thank you so much for coming in.
My pleasure.
Before we start, is there anything
you'd like to ask about the part?
No, I think it's all pretty
- self-explanatory.
- Good.
Actually, I do have a question.
I've always What is under the
hat?
What's under yours?
Uh I'm not wearing a hat.
Nor am I.
Oh, right, well
So, why don't we try the scene?
So if we get it on its feet.
You come through the door.
It's off-book.
So, Harinder, yes, if you come in
from the other side. Thank you.
Um(CLEARS THROAT)
Right.
(KNOCKING)
(LOUDLY AND SLOWLY)
Hello! I am Jim.
You have good journey?
Yes, Ihave good journey.
But I don't have hearing problem.
Please, come in.
May I take off my shoes?
Smile
"Dear Dad, today, for entertainment,
I watched a fly lay eggs on a sausage,
and then raced two raindrops down
the window pane.
I can't stop thinking about what I'm
missing.
Dennis said to hold tight, and that
he'll get me back on the show.
But I don't think even Dennis can
work miracles."
He's concerned for the moral
fibres of his beloved country.
"Please write again soon. If I sound
desperate, it's because I am.
Yin tan iddle I po."
..see sun come shining through
♪
Oh, Vernon's cocktail parties are
legendary!
His ideas on Wittgenstein are
absolutely mind-blowing.
You barely spoke.
Why did you want me to come with you
tonight?
Everyone was desperate to meet the producer
of the hilarious Jim and Barbara show.
Well, I'm sorry if they were
expecting Norman Wisdom.
Did you want me to see you?
What do you mean?
Edith, I saw you with Vernon.
Well, you haven't kissed me like you
mean it for years.
Well, if I've been negligent in any way
Negligent?! Oh, Jesus Christ,
Dennis, you sound like
you're dictating a legal document.
Be angry! Shout at me! Where's the
passion?
All right! You're my wife.
- I love you.
- But you're not IN LOVE
with me any more?
Are you?
Too long a pause, Dennis.
Are you in love with Vernon?
As a matter of fact, I am.
And he's very much in love with me.
And when we fuck, he makes me feel like
Aphrodite.
MUSIC: # The Casinos - Then You
Can Tell Me Goodbye
Kiss me each morning
For a million years
Hold me each evening
By your side
Tell me you love me
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
For a million, a million years
(WHISTLING)
Then if it don't work out
Then if it don't work out
- Let's go! Come down!
- We're going out.
Come down!
..goodbye ♪
Come on, you two.
Bloody hell, I was all set for an
early night.
- You and my grandma.
- Dennis said to
keep a low profile.
You can't get much lower than this.
You'll be fine.
Are we going for a night out in
(INDISTINCT)?
- Hi.
- Welcome to the munge.
(CHATTER AND MUSIC)
MUSIC: # Jefferson Airplane -
Somebody to Love
Tears are running
They're all running down your dress
And your friends, baby
They treat you like a guest
Don't you want somebody to love
Don't you need somebody to love
Wouldn't you love somebody to love
You'd better find somebody to love
Oh oh ♪
You don't own me
Don't try to change me in any way
You don't own me
Don't tie me down
Because I'll never stay
I don't tell you what to say
I don't tell you what to do
So just let me be myself
That's all I ask of you
I'm young, and I love to be young
I'm free and I got to be free
To live my life the way that I want
To say and do whatever I please
(CHEERING)
I really miss her.
Oh, don't tell me what to say
And please, when I go out with you
Don't put me on display ♪
MUSIC: # Interstellar Overdrive -
Pink Floyd
Tony?
I mean, I'd worked it out about
Bill, but
- Well done, Sherlock.
- But you
What about June?
I mean, are you going to tell her?
Soph, um
It was June's idea.
What?
She wanted me to get out and try it,
find out once and for all,
she said.
She must really love you.
(EXHALES)
I really love her.
We just can't seem to
You know?
And did you?
Find out?
I found out that I like both.
I don't even know what that is.
Fuck!
In a way, I envy Bill.
Life is not easy for him at all,
but at least it's clear.
Who says it has to be clear?
It's nobody's business what goes on
between you and June.
Do what you want.
I'm not as brave as you
- Sophie.
- Me?
Brave? I just make it up as I go along.
And I've no idea what happens next.
Mm.
So, where are we with the script?
- Morning, Frank.
- It's been rather difficult
to find the right dynamic without Sophie.
The chaps have worked incredibly
hard on a temporary fix.
- As I'd expect.
- We've had a bit of
good fortune with casting.
Ah. For the role of Guneet the
politician?
Yes. The chap we've got, he has
great timing.
Quite a find.
Yes, he certainly is.
Oh, you've heard of Harinder Singh?
Who?
I thought we'd discussed Spike
Milligan?
Spike's a huge star. I don't imagine
that he's affordable.
- Or available.
- Then I shall put a
call in to his agent.
Well, it wasn't just that, sir. I
thought it would be more authentic
and fun to have Harinder in the part.
Spike does an hilarious turn as a Pakistani.
Yes, well, our character is Indian.
He was born in India, for goodness
sake. He can do the lot.
Harinder Singh is very funny, and
I'd like to give him the part.
If you wish me to seriously consider
reinstating Sophie Straw,
Spike will star in the show.
Just something to think about.
Careful with that supine spinal
twist, darling.
I say, this woman seems to think
she's Barbara's mother.
Someone should tell her that Barbara
is entirely fictional.
- Oh!
- No, Barbara is her real name.
You created Sophie Straw, darling.
Oh, so I did.
How thrilling. I feel like Dr Frankenstein.
- Mm.
- I think we should show this one
to Sophie, darling.
No, I very much don't think she can
deal with the distraction right now.
Why don't you throw it into the
wacky wastepaper basket?
Very well.
Mm.
(KNOCKING)
Now they're at the bloody back door.
Told you, she's not here!
Oh, Dad, I'm impressed.
I like cooking, as it turns out.
There's your egg all nice and runny,
as you like it.
- Are you crying?
- Well, on TV,
Barbara doesn't like dippy egg.
So everyone thinksIdon't like
dippy egg.
I'm crying cos
you know how I like my eggs.
(SHE SOBS)
Aw!
It's all right.
What's she doing here?
This is her home, Marie.
She's just here while it blows over.
What, sitting here fit as a fiddle,
pretending to be poorly?!
I'm telling you, the local press
will be straight onto it.
We've already had them knocking on
the door day and night!
- How do you think that feels?
- I know
how it feels.
Well, you've only yourself to blame.
You went after it.
You had a fiance and a future here
in Blackpool,
but oh, no, you wanted more.
- Just like your mother.
- Marie
Can't you just be on my side for
once?
- We are on your side.
- On your side?!
I've been stuck to your side all
your life.
- Come on, Marie.
- Don't come on Marie
me, brother!
You spoilt her. You stuffed her head
with all that funny business.
She doesn't know the sacrifices I made.
I never had the chance to have a
family of my own
because I was always saddled with
her!
And then we had a brief moment where
it felt like
maybe, maybe it's worth it, but oh, no
Boom!
She went and ruined everything.
And where's my egg and dippies?!
Harinder's a find. Haven't resorted
to some White actor
doing ridiculous caricatures. It's a
small victory.
It is a fucking huge victory.
This is really good.
Hey, who's that with Dennis?
Hey, only the fucking Godfather of
comedy!
Meet Spike Milligan.'Allo!
Mr Milligan, what a tremendous
honour it is to meet you.
(IN INDIAN ACCENT)
I have good journey,
but I not have hearing problem.
He'll be playing Guneet.
Madam here can clear up the mess
while we're at the doctor's.
Oh, George, don't forget your
muffler, or you'll catch your death.
(AS MARIE) George, don't forget your muffler.
- I heard that.
- I wasn't doing you,
Auntie Marie.
I was doing Aggie from number 22.
- I wish I could come.
- Well, you
can't. They're still here.
(SHOUTING FROM OUTSIDE)
- See you later, Aggie.
- See you later.
Excuse me!
Excuse me.
- George?
- Can you let me through?
George, George? What's happening?
No idea where she is. Haven't you
got homes to go to?
MUSIC: # George Fornby - My Little
Stick of Blackpool Rock
Every year when summer comes round
Off to the sea I go
I don't care if I do spend a pound
I'm rather rash, I know
See me dressed like all the sports
In my blazer and a pair of shorts
With my little stick of Blackpool rock
Along the promenade I stroll
It may be sticky but I never complain
It's nice to have a nibble at it
now and again
Every day, wherever I stray
The kids all round me flock
One afternoon the band conductor
up on the stand
- - All right, Aggie.
- George.
- Come on
in, I'll pop the kettle on.
So I jumped in his place and then
conducted the band
With my little stick of Blackpool
rock ♪
Joan's sleeping with Harold Pinter.
Lucian Freud's had everyone else.
It's quite the sophisticated thing
to do.
Well, then, consider me a Philistine.
- I don't want an affair.
- Are you sure
about that?
If you said now that you wished to
leave Vernon,
and stay married, I would honour that.
Well, how gallant.
I don't want a man who's with me out
of duty.
I want a man who can't live another
day without me.
You're a coward, Dennis.
At least I've admitted how I feel,
and acted on it.
It's infra dig, I know.
But I thought it best to keep you informed.
I thought Ted and the press
department had control of the story.
To a degree. The wretched papers
held back the photographs of the
liaison.
But unfortunately, the scoundrels
still want something in return.
What? What do they want?
Jim and Barbara reunited.
Preferably with a large rock of ice
on her finger.
Jim and Barbara, or Sophie and
Clive?
Oh, thank you very much.
Well, it's one and the same thing to
them, really.
Either way, they get an exclusive
front-page scoop.
Well, anyway, I don't think Sophie
would even take me back.
She was She was pretty damn angry.
The poor girl clearly still has
feelings, and
What girl wouldn't want to be swept
off her feet
by Clive Richardson, hm?
However, if you and Sophie WERE
reunited as love's young dream,
then Ted Sargent would undoubtedly recant.
Look
- I know I messed up.
- Oh, an
indiscretion, dear boy.
- We all have them.
- BUT
if I am going to win her back,
it's going to be genuine,
and on my own terms.
Not because I'm being coerced by
some filthy tabloid.
Thank you for the drink.
You're very welcome.
Can you get me a wider shot of Spike
when he comes through the door?
Shot 40, camera 2 next.
(SPIKE IN INDIAN ACCENT)
I'd like to
use your facilities.
(LAUGHTER)
(TOILET FLUSHES)
I wondered where I'd left my toothbrush.
(LAUGHTER)
Congratulations. Excellent show.
Spike was absolutely terrific. Let's
book him for the rest of the series.
In addition to Sophie Straw?
Sophie who?
- We had an agreement.
- The agreement
was that I would consider.
I can't help but think you have a rather
over-inflated opinion of Miss Straw.
It makes me wonder, Dennis, if your
impulses are entirely professional.
Somewhere, deep inside,
the fact that Sophie is a beautiful
and funny woman
really offends you, doesn't it, Ted?
I will accept your resignation with
great sadness.
I've already written the letter.
MUSIC: # The Spencer Davis Group
- Gimme Some Lovin'
Hey
My temperature's rising and my
feet on the floor
Crazy people knocking cos they
wanted some more
Let me in, baby, I don't know what
you got
But you'd better take it easy,
this place is hot
And I'm so glad we made it
So glad we made it
Why won't you gimme some lovin'
Gimme some lovin' ♪
So, Aggie, I hear you've been for a
- big hike around the town.
- Yes.
You must be very tired.
- How do you feel?
- How do I feel?
I put my hands out, and I go like this.
Ah! Very good.
Oh, God, sweetheart
You're born to do this, you know.
Mr Mahindra says you're a natural,
doesn't he?
When we're doing the show, it's hard
to explain, Dad,
but there's nowhere else in the
world I'd rather be.
You'll get back there, Bubble.
You'll find a way.
My temperature rising and my feet
on the floor
Crazy people knocking cos they
wanted some more
Let me in, baby, I don't know what
you got
But you'd better take it easy,
this place is hot
And I'm so glad we made it, so
glad we made it
Dennis?
..gimme some lovin'
Gimme some lovin'
What brings you to Blackpool?
I've come to see a friend.
You?
Well, I mean, I've I've been an
absolute shag-wanking arsehole.
Well, my head's all splinting and
I'm floating to sound
(BELL RINGS)
Do they ever give up?
All right, yes! I'm here!
Will you leave us alone if I give
you a picture
Hello, Soph.
Will you marry me?
..so glad we made it, won't you
gimme some lovin'?
Gimme some lovin'
Gimme some lovin' every day
Will you say yes, Sophie?
Sophie, what are you going to do?
Hey
Well, I feel so good, everything
is getting hot
You better take some time off cos
the place is on fire
Better stop, baby, cos I have so
much to do
We made it baby, and it happened
to you
And I'm so glad we made it
So glad we made it
Gimme some lovin' every day ♪
AccessibleCustomerService@sky.uk
language and adult themes.
I had no idea that word is even in a
woman's vocabulary.
I can only imagine the distress it
caused to both crew
and members of the audience unlucky
enough to hear it.
I'm so sorry. In my defence, sir -I
don't want to hear your defence.
I don't want to hear anything coming
from your gutter mouth.
You have displayed a degree of moral turpitude
that is absolutely unacceptable.
You have single-handedly set fire
to everything this network stands for.
As of today, you are suspended from
your duties.
No!
But But who'll be in Jim and
Barbara?
Clive Richardson will continue in
his role as Jim.
What?!
He wasn't the one that used foul language.
But he was the one who did the foul deed.
We have issued a press release
citing inability to work
due to sudden illness as the
explanation for your absence.
Your Network pass.
You can see yourself out.
Sous aucun pretexte je ne veux
Avoir de reflexes malheureux
Il faut que tu m'explique un peu mieux
Comment te dire adieu
Mon coeur de silex vite prend feu
Ton coeur de Pyrex resiste au feu
Je suis bien perplexe, je ne veux
Me resoudre aux adieux
Je sais bien qu'un ex
Amour n'a pas de chance, ou si peu
Mais pour moi, une ex plication
Vaudrait mieux
Sous aucun pretexte je ne veux
Devant toi surexposer mes yeux
Derriere un Kleenex
Je saurais mieux
Comment te dire adieu
Comment te dire adieu ♪
(HE EXHALES)
I'm going to need a three-Martini
lunch after this
to get over the shock.
(CLEARS THROAT)
- Patsy?
- Yes, darling?
Call Dr Woodcock and ask him to
scribble one of his special
sicknotes, would you?
Will do, darling.
Nothing too terminal.
Roger.
The press must never find out.
I'm merely trying to salvage the situation.
How am I meant to make a living in
the meantime?
- The Carry On film?
- Oh, yeah?
It's gone.
They just cast a bubbly little
blonde called Barbara Windsor.
Besides, obviously you can't work.
You're infectious.
Orthorubulavirus?
- Roger that.
- Thank you so much, Dr Woodcock.
Yes, will do. Bye-bye.
- What have I got?
- Mumps.
Oh, great. Now I have to go around
looking like a hamster.
You're in quarantine. You don't GO
AROUND anywhere.
(SIGHS)
Darling, let me help you. Where will
you go?
- Probably just go home.
- Go in disguise.
- Oh, I'll go in disguise.
- As what?
Some woman who's been shat on from a
very great height.
They've met, in that case.
(BELL RINGS)
(BELL RINGS AGAIN)
- Morning.
- It's Len. Len Phillips,
Evening Gazette. Remember me?
Wondered if you had any news on when
she'll be back on the box?
Sorry, Mr Phillips. Len. No, not yet.
She's very poorly with ortho
Mumps! She's got mumps.
Face like a bowling ball! It's a terrible
Send the best from us, and tell her
we're sorry about her and Clive.
Right, OK.
Morning.
It's like wearing a pair of wet trousers.
Feels horrible, but there's nothing
else you can do
apart from wait for them to dry out.
Well, she should have thought of
the consequences
before she went off effing and
blinding in front of her boss!
I knew her toilet mouth would get
her into trouble one day.
I'm sorry I let you down.
You didn't let me down.
- You were provoked, love.
- I'm not
saying. I'm just saying
She should have stuck with Aidan.
Listen
Miss you, Bubble. Chin up.
Yin tan iddle I po.
Tin tan iddle I po ♪
(EXHALES)
All right, this is fucking
ridiculous!
You've made your point. Are we
literally seven years old?!
We still need to get a show on the
air this week.
Yeah, well, we had a show, but
thanks to Clive
and his incredible performing cock,
we don't have a Sophie.
Yes, well, let's pick ourselves up
- and move on as best we can.
- No.
Bill's right. Clive fucked it.
The rest of us manage to keep our
private lives separate.
- Why can't you?
- Because he's
sexually incontinent.
We had the biggest hit of all our careers,
and Clive had to jizz all over it.
And you had Sophie Straw. She's a goddess.
Where the fuck do you get off
lecturing me about relationships?!
If Ted Sargent knew about Bill
hanging around in toilets,
he would shut down the whole fucking
- Leave Bill alone.
Says the man who's so confused about
which way to swing,
he can't even get his own wife pregnant.
Here's a tip, Tony - try fucking
- her.
- Shut up, Clive.
Oh, I'm sorry, was that some big
secret, was it?
Bill, what have you said?
- Nothing.
- Come on, you know what
Bill's like after he's had a few.
- Tone, Tone Fuck off!
- Wait
Don't listen to him!
- I trusted you!
- Stop this! This is
not productive.
Oh, it's Dennis, the great
peacemaker, makes everything better,
except the dark hole at the centre
of his own marriage.
Whoa, Jesus, Bill, take it easy.
Don't have a go at Dennis.
Thank you, Clive. I'm quite capable
of defending myself.
Then how is it you haven't noticed
Edith's making a fool of YOU?
I'm only saying what everyone in the
entire building already knows.
She's banging Vernon Whit bait.
Whitbait
Vernon Vernon
Uh
Whit Whit Whitshire
Whitchstable Whitstable?
Whit Vernon Whit Vernon
Whitfuck?
Vernon It's Whitfield.
BOTH:Not the face!
Did you just try and punch me,
Dennis?!
- Yes, and I'd like another go.
- No,
no, no, no, no!
THE KINKS - You Really Got me
(COMMOTION)
Leave it! Leave it!
Stop this! This is so silly.
Silly? You're silly.
Yeah, you really got me now
Got me so I don't know what I'm
doing
Oh, yeah, you really got me now
You got me so I can't sleep at night
You really got me, you really got
me ♪
Bill, put the knife down.
You little shit.
You fucking killed him.
Dennis?
OK, who do you want to be?
Sandie
or Cilla?
Can't have you stuck in here for
weeks on end.
You need to take these puppies for a
- walk.
- Does it suit me?
(LAUGHS)
Um It's a touch Mediaeval monk.
Well, that's my favourite look.
I feel so stupid. Why didn't I just
keep my trap shut?
Uh, no. Why didn't Clive keep his
trousers shut?
In my women's workshop, we've got a
technical word
for men who behave like that.
- Oh, yeah?
- Arseholes.
(THEY LAUGH)
It is unfair dismissal, though.
So you can complain to your union.
Marj is right.
Why didn't Dennis cover your back?
Andrew O'Shea would have stuck up
for me.
Dennis didn't know. Ted got me on my
own, and that was that.
You go back in to Ted Sargent, and
you demand your job back.
You look him straight in the eye -
Imagine him taking a great big shit.
Trust me, it works.
It does.
I've been banned from TV Centre.
They took away my pass.
I wouldn't get through the door.
MUSIC: Sandi Shaw - Don't Run Away
Run away, run away
Run away, run away
Run away, run away
Darling baby
Baby, I am so much
- Can I see your pass, Miss?
- Haven't
seen you here before.
- What show are you on?
- Top of the
Pops, innit?
- She's taller than I thought.
- Who?
Sandi Shaw, innit?
Hang on, don't they film Top of the
Pops in Manchester?
..each and every o-other day
You are on my mind
But I know you have been
The wandering kind ♪
Sophie, wait!
Dennis. What happened to your face?
- What are you doing here?
- Getting my
job back.
It was unfair dismissal.
Going to give old bully boy Ted
Sargent a mouthful.
This is not the way to do it. And
what is this?
Dennis Ah, Eunice.
May I help you?
Uh, I just wanted to let Ted know
that everything is under control.
All right?
Come along, dear.
Now that I've found you, don't run away
Oi? Oi, you!
Tell me to stay, baby
Tell me you're mine all of the time
- Soph?
- I leave you for five minutes,
and you end up
looking like the Bash Street Kids.
You can talk. You look like Nana
Mouskouri in a wind tunnel.
I'm so sorry I've messed everything up.
Soph, Clive was being a wanker.
If only that was all he'd been.
- What are we going to do?
- Just keep a
low profile.
For the time being, at least.
I'll talk to Ted. You'll be back in
the show.
I promise.
Ah, Dennis, Look, I
You there?
Soph
Oi, there she is!
Run away, run away
Come here!
Run away, run away
Run away, run away
That way, chaps.
Run away, run away
Darling baby ♪
Have I got spinach in my teeth?
Only a little bit.
Anyone missing a crucial clipboard?
I think that's the producer's.
Oh, is that the duty log? I love
reading that!
Some of the calls we get are
hilarious. What does it say?
"As a keen gardener, I am deeply
offended by your presenters
referring to tomatoes as a vegetable.
They are a fruit."Thank God we
finally cleared that up.
Oh, yeah, I have to agree with this one.
"Andrew O'Shea's garish ties look
like sick."
Hey, leave my ties alone. I think
they're snazzy.
"Get that woman off our televisions.
Can't you find a de
decent White girl?"
Can you not leave things like this
lying around? Thank you.
Going live. Five, four
Oh, my God, Marjorie, is it true?
She's not going to be in the show
any more?
- She's just off sick.
- What with?
VD?Why would you say that?
Clive Richardson is a notorious
naughty boy.
I wouldn't mind catching a dose off him.
A friend of a friend knows someone
who knows Clive.
And they said that the real story is
that Sophie Straw's been fired.
(LAUGHTER)
Whoops. My hand slipped.
Every day you look at these papers, yeah,
and you just gossip about how much
you fancy all the fellas,
and how all the women are just
useless sluts.
Why can't you be nice about other
girls?
Sophie Straw is my friend,
and a person that you know, an
actual person with actual feelings.
Sorry. I didn't realise you were a lesbian.
(GIGGLING)
(GASPING)
Whoops.
My hand slipped.
Oh!
(GIGGLING AND APPLAUSE)
MUSIC: # Nico - These days
I stopped my rambling
I don't do too much gambling these days
These days I seem to think about
How all the changes came about
♪
Thank you, Andrew. Well, in light of
the weather we've been having,
I went in search of the perfect umbrella.
A simple task, you might think.
But let me tell you, umbrellas range
from the sublime
to
the ridiculous.
I bet you could make even that hat
look beautiful, Diane.
(HE LAUGHS)
There. Oh. Pretty as a picture.
Oh, my God.
The state of this place. What are
you doing here?
I've got my women's group coming round.
- Sorry.
- I've got it, I've got it.
Sorry, Marj. I'll go in the bedroom.
You don't have to go.
Oh
- I think she does.
- She can join in if
she likes.
- Really?
- Yeah. You got a hand mirror?
Will a compact do?
- Perfect.
- Are we doing make-up?
We're going to make friends with our fannies.
(LAUGHTER)
OK, gather round.
I never knew it was so busy down there.
I think mine even winked at me.
Mine looked a bit like David Niven.
(ALL LAUGH)
All right, settle down.
Who wants to kick off?
Marj?
No, do you want to?
I finally walked out on my husband.
And I walked out on the kids.
Oh, my God.
I love my children, but
I didn't choose to be a mother.
He's not a bad man, it's just
It was all just so wrong.
Made me ill.
The grief at leaving my kids
is
spectacular.
I've been called heartless.
Negligent. Scum.
But I had to get out, otherwise
those kids wouldn't have a mum at all.
People think motherhood's mandatory,
and fatherhood's voluntary.
- Too bloody true.
- We're not here to judge.
Here, how's Barbara?
You want to be looking after her, mate.
- She's a diamond.
- Yeah, she
certainly is.
Tell her to get well soon, yeah?
Will do, mate, will do.
I'm sick of people thinking that I'm
responsible for
the wellbeing of a fictional character.
I think the lines are slightly blurred.
Fucking hell. What's the title of
this week's show?
- Mayhem at the Morgue?
- Bombay
- Calling.
- I wish it was.
Love to be out of this dump.
Barbara is away, and Jim is hosting
high tea
for his political counterpart from Bombay.
- Is this your idea, Den?
- No. It's Ted
Sargent's suggestion.
And that means we've got no fucking
choice in the matter.
Who's going to play it, then? Jim's
Indian counterpart?
Oh, please! Not some bloke with boot
polish on his face.
Absolutely not. There'll be no minstrelsy.
I've a very good actor in mind for
the role.
- Good.
- I, um
Um
I should, um
OK No I should, um
Before I went had a
Maybe just a bit What
What -Clive, are you coughing up a
furball or trying to apologise?
Yes. That.
The last one. You know, um
I am sorry.
Yes, well, I don't suppose any of us
covered ourselves in glory.
Very good.
All right.
Ha, yes
Good, right
Oh, thanks, Tone.
Chaps? This is Harinder Singh.
- Hello.
- Tony Holmes.
Bill Gardener. Are you all right, mate?
- You know Clive Richardson.
- Ah.
Who's in charge here?
Very good. Point already.
Take a seat, please.
Thank you so much for coming in.
My pleasure.
Before we start, is there anything
you'd like to ask about the part?
No, I think it's all pretty
- self-explanatory.
- Good.
Actually, I do have a question.
I've always What is under the
hat?
What's under yours?
Uh I'm not wearing a hat.
Nor am I.
Oh, right, well
So, why don't we try the scene?
So if we get it on its feet.
You come through the door.
It's off-book.
So, Harinder, yes, if you come in
from the other side. Thank you.
Um(CLEARS THROAT)
Right.
(KNOCKING)
(LOUDLY AND SLOWLY)
Hello! I am Jim.
You have good journey?
Yes, Ihave good journey.
But I don't have hearing problem.
Please, come in.
May I take off my shoes?
Smile
"Dear Dad, today, for entertainment,
I watched a fly lay eggs on a sausage,
and then raced two raindrops down
the window pane.
I can't stop thinking about what I'm
missing.
Dennis said to hold tight, and that
he'll get me back on the show.
But I don't think even Dennis can
work miracles."
He's concerned for the moral
fibres of his beloved country.
"Please write again soon. If I sound
desperate, it's because I am.
Yin tan iddle I po."
..see sun come shining through
♪
Oh, Vernon's cocktail parties are
legendary!
His ideas on Wittgenstein are
absolutely mind-blowing.
You barely spoke.
Why did you want me to come with you
tonight?
Everyone was desperate to meet the producer
of the hilarious Jim and Barbara show.
Well, I'm sorry if they were
expecting Norman Wisdom.
Did you want me to see you?
What do you mean?
Edith, I saw you with Vernon.
Well, you haven't kissed me like you
mean it for years.
Well, if I've been negligent in any way
Negligent?! Oh, Jesus Christ,
Dennis, you sound like
you're dictating a legal document.
Be angry! Shout at me! Where's the
passion?
All right! You're my wife.
- I love you.
- But you're not IN LOVE
with me any more?
Are you?
Too long a pause, Dennis.
Are you in love with Vernon?
As a matter of fact, I am.
And he's very much in love with me.
And when we fuck, he makes me feel like
Aphrodite.
MUSIC: # The Casinos - Then You
Can Tell Me Goodbye
Kiss me each morning
For a million years
Hold me each evening
By your side
Tell me you love me
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
For a million, a million years
(WHISTLING)
Then if it don't work out
Then if it don't work out
- Let's go! Come down!
- We're going out.
Come down!
..goodbye ♪
Come on, you two.
Bloody hell, I was all set for an
early night.
- You and my grandma.
- Dennis said to
keep a low profile.
You can't get much lower than this.
You'll be fine.
Are we going for a night out in
(INDISTINCT)?
- Hi.
- Welcome to the munge.
(CHATTER AND MUSIC)
MUSIC: # Jefferson Airplane -
Somebody to Love
Tears are running
They're all running down your dress
And your friends, baby
They treat you like a guest
Don't you want somebody to love
Don't you need somebody to love
Wouldn't you love somebody to love
You'd better find somebody to love
Oh oh ♪
You don't own me
Don't try to change me in any way
You don't own me
Don't tie me down
Because I'll never stay
I don't tell you what to say
I don't tell you what to do
So just let me be myself
That's all I ask of you
I'm young, and I love to be young
I'm free and I got to be free
To live my life the way that I want
To say and do whatever I please
(CHEERING)
I really miss her.
Oh, don't tell me what to say
And please, when I go out with you
Don't put me on display ♪
MUSIC: # Interstellar Overdrive -
Pink Floyd
Tony?
I mean, I'd worked it out about
Bill, but
- Well done, Sherlock.
- But you
What about June?
I mean, are you going to tell her?
Soph, um
It was June's idea.
What?
She wanted me to get out and try it,
find out once and for all,
she said.
She must really love you.
(EXHALES)
I really love her.
We just can't seem to
You know?
And did you?
Find out?
I found out that I like both.
I don't even know what that is.
Fuck!
In a way, I envy Bill.
Life is not easy for him at all,
but at least it's clear.
Who says it has to be clear?
It's nobody's business what goes on
between you and June.
Do what you want.
I'm not as brave as you
- Sophie.
- Me?
Brave? I just make it up as I go along.
And I've no idea what happens next.
Mm.
So, where are we with the script?
- Morning, Frank.
- It's been rather difficult
to find the right dynamic without Sophie.
The chaps have worked incredibly
hard on a temporary fix.
- As I'd expect.
- We've had a bit of
good fortune with casting.
Ah. For the role of Guneet the
politician?
Yes. The chap we've got, he has
great timing.
Quite a find.
Yes, he certainly is.
Oh, you've heard of Harinder Singh?
Who?
I thought we'd discussed Spike
Milligan?
Spike's a huge star. I don't imagine
that he's affordable.
- Or available.
- Then I shall put a
call in to his agent.
Well, it wasn't just that, sir. I
thought it would be more authentic
and fun to have Harinder in the part.
Spike does an hilarious turn as a Pakistani.
Yes, well, our character is Indian.
He was born in India, for goodness
sake. He can do the lot.
Harinder Singh is very funny, and
I'd like to give him the part.
If you wish me to seriously consider
reinstating Sophie Straw,
Spike will star in the show.
Just something to think about.
Careful with that supine spinal
twist, darling.
I say, this woman seems to think
she's Barbara's mother.
Someone should tell her that Barbara
is entirely fictional.
- Oh!
- No, Barbara is her real name.
You created Sophie Straw, darling.
Oh, so I did.
How thrilling. I feel like Dr Frankenstein.
- Mm.
- I think we should show this one
to Sophie, darling.
No, I very much don't think she can
deal with the distraction right now.
Why don't you throw it into the
wacky wastepaper basket?
Very well.
Mm.
(KNOCKING)
Now they're at the bloody back door.
Told you, she's not here!
Oh, Dad, I'm impressed.
I like cooking, as it turns out.
There's your egg all nice and runny,
as you like it.
- Are you crying?
- Well, on TV,
Barbara doesn't like dippy egg.
So everyone thinksIdon't like
dippy egg.
I'm crying cos
you know how I like my eggs.
(SHE SOBS)
Aw!
It's all right.
What's she doing here?
This is her home, Marie.
She's just here while it blows over.
What, sitting here fit as a fiddle,
pretending to be poorly?!
I'm telling you, the local press
will be straight onto it.
We've already had them knocking on
the door day and night!
- How do you think that feels?
- I know
how it feels.
Well, you've only yourself to blame.
You went after it.
You had a fiance and a future here
in Blackpool,
but oh, no, you wanted more.
- Just like your mother.
- Marie
Can't you just be on my side for
once?
- We are on your side.
- On your side?!
I've been stuck to your side all
your life.
- Come on, Marie.
- Don't come on Marie
me, brother!
You spoilt her. You stuffed her head
with all that funny business.
She doesn't know the sacrifices I made.
I never had the chance to have a
family of my own
because I was always saddled with
her!
And then we had a brief moment where
it felt like
maybe, maybe it's worth it, but oh, no
Boom!
She went and ruined everything.
And where's my egg and dippies?!
Harinder's a find. Haven't resorted
to some White actor
doing ridiculous caricatures. It's a
small victory.
It is a fucking huge victory.
This is really good.
Hey, who's that with Dennis?
Hey, only the fucking Godfather of
comedy!
Meet Spike Milligan.'Allo!
Mr Milligan, what a tremendous
honour it is to meet you.
(IN INDIAN ACCENT)
I have good journey,
but I not have hearing problem.
He'll be playing Guneet.
Madam here can clear up the mess
while we're at the doctor's.
Oh, George, don't forget your
muffler, or you'll catch your death.
(AS MARIE) George, don't forget your muffler.
- I heard that.
- I wasn't doing you,
Auntie Marie.
I was doing Aggie from number 22.
- I wish I could come.
- Well, you
can't. They're still here.
(SHOUTING FROM OUTSIDE)
- See you later, Aggie.
- See you later.
Excuse me!
Excuse me.
- George?
- Can you let me through?
George, George? What's happening?
No idea where she is. Haven't you
got homes to go to?
MUSIC: # George Fornby - My Little
Stick of Blackpool Rock
Every year when summer comes round
Off to the sea I go
I don't care if I do spend a pound
I'm rather rash, I know
See me dressed like all the sports
In my blazer and a pair of shorts
With my little stick of Blackpool rock
Along the promenade I stroll
It may be sticky but I never complain
It's nice to have a nibble at it
now and again
Every day, wherever I stray
The kids all round me flock
One afternoon the band conductor
up on the stand
- - All right, Aggie.
- George.
- Come on
in, I'll pop the kettle on.
So I jumped in his place and then
conducted the band
With my little stick of Blackpool
rock ♪
Joan's sleeping with Harold Pinter.
Lucian Freud's had everyone else.
It's quite the sophisticated thing
to do.
Well, then, consider me a Philistine.
- I don't want an affair.
- Are you sure
about that?
If you said now that you wished to
leave Vernon,
and stay married, I would honour that.
Well, how gallant.
I don't want a man who's with me out
of duty.
I want a man who can't live another
day without me.
You're a coward, Dennis.
At least I've admitted how I feel,
and acted on it.
It's infra dig, I know.
But I thought it best to keep you informed.
I thought Ted and the press
department had control of the story.
To a degree. The wretched papers
held back the photographs of the
liaison.
But unfortunately, the scoundrels
still want something in return.
What? What do they want?
Jim and Barbara reunited.
Preferably with a large rock of ice
on her finger.
Jim and Barbara, or Sophie and
Clive?
Oh, thank you very much.
Well, it's one and the same thing to
them, really.
Either way, they get an exclusive
front-page scoop.
Well, anyway, I don't think Sophie
would even take me back.
She was She was pretty damn angry.
The poor girl clearly still has
feelings, and
What girl wouldn't want to be swept
off her feet
by Clive Richardson, hm?
However, if you and Sophie WERE
reunited as love's young dream,
then Ted Sargent would undoubtedly recant.
Look
- I know I messed up.
- Oh, an
indiscretion, dear boy.
- We all have them.
- BUT
if I am going to win her back,
it's going to be genuine,
and on my own terms.
Not because I'm being coerced by
some filthy tabloid.
Thank you for the drink.
You're very welcome.
Can you get me a wider shot of Spike
when he comes through the door?
Shot 40, camera 2 next.
(SPIKE IN INDIAN ACCENT)
I'd like to
use your facilities.
(LAUGHTER)
(TOILET FLUSHES)
I wondered where I'd left my toothbrush.
(LAUGHTER)
Congratulations. Excellent show.
Spike was absolutely terrific. Let's
book him for the rest of the series.
In addition to Sophie Straw?
Sophie who?
- We had an agreement.
- The agreement
was that I would consider.
I can't help but think you have a rather
over-inflated opinion of Miss Straw.
It makes me wonder, Dennis, if your
impulses are entirely professional.
Somewhere, deep inside,
the fact that Sophie is a beautiful
and funny woman
really offends you, doesn't it, Ted?
I will accept your resignation with
great sadness.
I've already written the letter.
MUSIC: # The Spencer Davis Group
- Gimme Some Lovin'
Hey
My temperature's rising and my
feet on the floor
Crazy people knocking cos they
wanted some more
Let me in, baby, I don't know what
you got
But you'd better take it easy,
this place is hot
And I'm so glad we made it
So glad we made it
Why won't you gimme some lovin'
Gimme some lovin' ♪
So, Aggie, I hear you've been for a
- big hike around the town.
- Yes.
You must be very tired.
- How do you feel?
- How do I feel?
I put my hands out, and I go like this.
Ah! Very good.
Oh, God, sweetheart
You're born to do this, you know.
Mr Mahindra says you're a natural,
doesn't he?
When we're doing the show, it's hard
to explain, Dad,
but there's nowhere else in the
world I'd rather be.
You'll get back there, Bubble.
You'll find a way.
My temperature rising and my feet
on the floor
Crazy people knocking cos they
wanted some more
Let me in, baby, I don't know what
you got
But you'd better take it easy,
this place is hot
And I'm so glad we made it, so
glad we made it
Dennis?
..gimme some lovin'
Gimme some lovin'
What brings you to Blackpool?
I've come to see a friend.
You?
Well, I mean, I've I've been an
absolute shag-wanking arsehole.
Well, my head's all splinting and
I'm floating to sound
(BELL RINGS)
Do they ever give up?
All right, yes! I'm here!
Will you leave us alone if I give
you a picture
Hello, Soph.
Will you marry me?
..so glad we made it, won't you
gimme some lovin'?
Gimme some lovin'
Gimme some lovin' every day
Will you say yes, Sophie?
Sophie, what are you going to do?
Hey
Well, I feel so good, everything
is getting hot
You better take some time off cos
the place is on fire
Better stop, baby, cos I have so
much to do
We made it baby, and it happened
to you
And I'm so glad we made it
So glad we made it
Gimme some lovin' every day ♪
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