Gap Year (2017) s01e05 Episode Script

1 Well, I was thinking we could replay some of the scenes in Vietnam.
- The sex bits, not the war bits, obviously.
- Hey, Dylan! Ah! You drugged me and I was robbed.
I'm sorry, OK? I'll pay for whatever was taken, I promise.
What, so you kissed Dylan? Slept together, actually.
- Will you marry me? - Yes! OK, I'm ready to move on.
And you could play a song at the reception, Dylly, like You're Beautiful or something.
- Play it on what, the kazoo? - Guitar, Dylan plays the guitar.
What?! Do you?! Well, yeah, I've got one.
Lauren got it for me, actually, and I bloody love it.
Oh, also, Lauren, I read about a couple who had their rings delivered by an owl that flapped into the church with the rings, like, in its claws.
Yeah, talons, that's a great idea, May.
I'm supposed to look after rings though, right, as best man? I think I'd rather an owl did it.
Right, do you want the owl to make the speech as well? I'd have preferred an owl, to be honest, rather than Pete bloody Hearne taking the opportunity to have a pop at the EU again.
Come on.
Where next, you horrible lot? We could all climb Mount Kinabalu.
So long as it's cheap, I do not care.
My daily budget's now three bucks.
- Madam? - Oh, yeah, that's for her.
She got my money stolen, so she's paying.
Why don't we all scuttle off down to Kuala Lumpur? Land of my old mate Jyoti and drumroll, please, Seanos, - bungee - Bungee jumping? - Bungee jumping.
- Are you serious? - Very serious.
Deadly serious, thank you.
Or I've got these tickets for this three-day jungle trek that Norm and his friends aren't using any more.
Oh, wow.
Why is Norm not doing it? Well, he's heartbroken after - You broke his heart? - Yeah.
So Shulman and Cooper have taken him on this sort of Mormon mission in Singapore, you know, so that he can recover.
Is Mormon Norman? Sorry, is Norman Mormon? Yes, he's a big Mormon.
- That's pretty weird.
- Well, actually, it's a bit of a blessing because it meant that Norm and I couldn't, you know, make love.
- Really? - Of course not.
You know, so it's meant we've been true to each other since we've met.
Isn't that wonderful, everyone? You know, our story, as a couple -- it's unbroken.
Sorry, Lauren, love Slight problem -- there's only four tickets here.
Exactly, so we all can't go.
Obviously, me and you, Dylly.
- And May.
- And me.
- And Sean.
- I'm going.
- Yeah, and Ashley.
- Yeah, and Greg.
- Yeah, well, you're going bungee jumping.
- Not on my fucking own, I'm not.
- And Ashley.
Well, there's only four tickets.
Then I'll buy a ticket.
I'll buy one.
I'm coming.
I'm coming on the trek.
She can't go because it's going to cost more than $9 and she can't afford it.
Well, why don't you stop being such an asshole and help me out? If you leave me here for three days while you go trekking, I'm going to be really pissed about it.
OK, fine, I'll help you out.
Thank you, that's very kind.
OK, cool, so when's the next jungle bus then, Greg? - Six hours.
- Aw! - Great.
- For God's sake.
Hey! I'm in love My fingers keep on clicking to the beating of my heart Hey! It's cos of you The world is in a crazy hazy hue My heart is beating like a jungle drum Ba-da-donk-a-dum, dum! My heart is beating like a jungle drum Ra-ka-tong-ta-toka-dum! Here's your lassa from Dildo.
Oh, thanks.
It's a lassi from Dylan.
Ah.
Thanks for the trek, by the way.
Oh, no problem.
I think it'll be a good send-off, you know? - Send-off? - Hmm.
What do you mean? For who? For us and the gang.
- What, like me, you and Dylan? - Er, no.
Us, as in Dylan and I.
Look, we're engaged now, Sean.
We should be alone together.
- Yep.
- You know, and Dylan wouldn't say this to your face, obviously, but it's what he wants.
- I'm sorry.
- Yeah, no, it's fine.
It's fine.
I don't really want to spend the next four weeks - planning a wedding anyway, to be honest, Lauren.
- OK, great.
- Then it shouldn't be a problem, then? - No, fine.
All right.
- OK, cool.
Ooh! - I know what you're doing, OK? - Excuse me? Stop blackmailing me right now.
- What are you talking about? - Making me pay for your trek tickets, so that you don't tell Lauren about our sexual sex.
I just asked you for help, Dylan, seeing as you were going to ditch me and I don't have any money.
I can barely afford these ice creams.
- You are unbelievable.
- What?! No.
Dylan, no, that's not what I meant.
(Dylan, this is not blackmail!) Hey, champ! - You all right? - Yeah, fine.
Excited.
Yeah.
- OK, Miss.
- Attention! - Be careful, be careful.
- Attention! Gently, please.
- I'm sorry.
- Are you OK? - ~ Gosh, she'd better not be coming on the trek with us -- it'll take years.
Listen to this.
Setting off from a traditional aborigine village, is there any other kind? The trek takes you through the jungle to the, yes, the heffalump sanctuary! This is exactly what we need, guys -- some good, solid we time! - You're welcome.
- Yeah, thank you so much, Lauren.
And, in a way, thank you, Norm.
Thank you, Norm.
(Prick.
) I should have been doing this from the start -- connecting with nature, not wasting my time with people.
And I've already watched a tonne of survival docs and read Blood, Sweat And Tears, the Bear Grylls biography.
Autobiography, actually.
So, I already know I'll love it.
Speaking of which, when do you think you will be finishing your novel? Finished it.
I'm now onto Crash by JG Ballard.
No, no, I meant that when you're writing, not the one you're reading.
Oh, yeah, I've got a bit of writer's block.
Well, success is 10% inspiration, 90% perspiration.
- Well, I've already got that covered.
- Ew.
Ooh, I would love a soda, but I can't afford it.
- I'll get it.
- Thanks, Dylan! - How much for the blowpipe, please? - ~ You really shouldn't buy things from these people, you know.
Capitalism will destroy their culture for ever.
So? What if they want that? What if capitalism's amazing? Just leave him alone.
Never going to happen, mate.
Hashtag -- just saying.
I'm not blind, brother.
This is what they do.
They wait until you're into them, then they tear out your heart and peel it like a big old Babybel - and then tuck in.
- Yeah, well, she keeps trying to talk to me.
- It's difficult.
- Well, then you've got to take yourself away, haven't you? That's what I've done.
I could be at home, sat on my sofa, weeping onto my pizza, waiting for Daisy to call.
Am I? I've come out here, haven't I? Turned myself into a kind of Fonzie figure for you guys.
Ha-ha! Fonzie! What, out of the Muppets? No, that's Fozzie.
This is Fonzie.
He's sort of more a My point is that with ladies, as with life, if at first you don't succeed, try, try someone else.
Hiya, guys! Welcome to Jurassic Park.
Not really.
Welcome to Taman Negara, the world's oldest rainforest.
My name's Dana and I'll be your guide for the next two days while Redza's got food poisoning.
I might just wait till everyone gets here before I give the spiel.
We're all here.
Hello! I'm Genevieve.
- God, seriously? - I apologise if you've been waiting.
I will try not to slow you down, but - (Good luck with that.
) - .
.
I have cancer.
Oh, which one? No, it's I'm a doctor.
The one's that's none of your business.
Erm, so first up, guys, there's no phone signal or internet until the elephant sanctuary, so if you want to check your e-mails or watch some porn Or whatever, before you go, just hop onto the Wi-Fi network in the Elders' Hut now.
Wait, so there's Wi-Fi? I thought this was meant to be a traditional tribal village.
Yeah, it's a relatively new tradition but they're very active on eBay, apparently.
So, we've got a nice little hike for you guys today.
I've not done it personally but Redza tells me it's a level four.
Four out of what? Yeah, I actually don't know that but I assume five.
- Or ten.
- Well, that's quite different.
- Yeah.
There will be lots of wildlife, too, so do look out for tapirs, warthogs and monkey birds.
Oh, sick.
What's a monkey bird? Oh, no, sorry.
That's two separate things -- monkey and birds.
Let's get ready to jungle! Pop your bags in the jeep.
All right.
I know what you're doing, you know.
Dylan buying everything for you? Yeah, so he offered.
You're getting hush money for not telling Lauren that you slept with him, Ashley.
That's called blackmail.
Well, I never said blackmail.
Dylan just assumed it was blackmail.
And I didn't get money, I got a soda -- so hush soda.
So you haven't actually done this before then? No, I've been holed up in the office for the last three months answering phones.
I've got a really great voice, so But I just been gagging to get out and see stuff, meet guys my own age, you know.
Girls.
So, when Redza got sick, I was so pumped! Ah! No, it's not funny! - Greg, are you OK? - No! Something bit me! OK, cool.
OK, keep going, guys.
How's it cool? Snake! Oh, no, it's a branch.
It's another branch.
Still a bit dizzy, you know, like if you eat too much onion in one go.
OK, guys, we're going this way.
Welcome to the Canopy Walkways.
Is this safe, Dana? Erm I'm going to say yes, it is.
There's a butterfly park to the left, if you'd rather do that.
No, it's fine.
Genevieve's doing it and she's got cancer.
Right, so she's got a bit less at stake.
Can I have some water, please, Dylly? And maybe we can take the butterfly path (because of my vertigo?) Yeah, good idea.
It does look unsafe.
Looks shit.
What? What's that oink for? No, nothing.
It's just funny how pussy-whipped he is.
- What?! No, I'm not! - Well, you'd do it otherwise, Dyl.
No, I want to do the butterfly path because I love butterflies and paths.
He's not pussy-whipped, as you so charmlessly put it.
He's a caring fiance that would do anything for me because he loves me.
Possibly someone like you might not have experienced that.
Water, please.
Yeah, I'll take that water, Dylan.
- I'm sorry, what? - I think you should give me the water -- I think that'd be a really good idea.
Ashley, stop it.
Thank you.
Dylan, what the hell are you doing? Can someone please tell me what's going on? - Yes, I can, Lauren.
- No, please, please! They slept together in Vietnam and she's blackmailing him - so you don't find out.
- No, no, he said blackmail.
- I didn't say blackmail.
- I knew it.
I bloody knew it.
Dylan, you get back here! Dylan! You get back here right now.
- No, I-I don't want to.
- Dylan! Lauren, wait.
Remember your vertigo, babe.
Wait, wait, before you say anything, I can explain Ugh! - Steady, Greg.
- I banged my head.
- Come on, now.
- I banged my head.
- It's all right, mate.
Come on, now.
- Try to get up.
- It's OK, it's OK.
(Just hold onto this.
) We'd broken up.
You were with Norm.
Yeah, Norm is such a great guy.
He never would have done something like this.
No, because Jesus won't let him.
Look, it only happened once.
That's enough to get an STD, Dylan! - That's all it takes! - OK, I do not have an STD.
Are you sure about that? Would you stay out of this, please? This has nothing to do with you.
I'm not going to stand idly by while you blackmail people, Ashley.
It's immoral and unfair to Lauren.
- Thank you, May.
- You know, you need to take responsibility for yourself.
You can't just expect to be supported by other people the whole time, like me, Dylan, the college - Excuse me? - I'm paying thousands of dollars to be there and you're blowing your scholarship money on tattoos and getting loaded with jocks.
Oh, my God, please don't tell me you've slept with any of these jocks.
I'm not answering that! At least four that I've heard about.
- Don't help her.
- Were any of them drug users? Or from sub-Saharan Africa? - Or both? - Oh, nice! Now you're a racist? What a catch, Dylan(!) Eric Sherbath is a drug user.
Pfft! Yeah, pot.
I didn't even have sex with Eric Sherbath.
So what? What did you do? I don't have to answer that.
According to Helen, she gave him a blowjob in his Honda.
Oh, he doesn't drive a Honda.
- Oh, OK.
So that's the part you have a problem with? - Stop it! Stop shaming her.
We're not in Somalia, you know.
You cannot whip her or mutilate her genitals because she enjoys sex.
It's her body -- she can do what she wants.
Yeah, exactly.
Thank you, Genevieve.
And, for the record, Eric Sherbath drives a Chevy Suburban.
- Where are the others? - I figured they'd wait for us.
Oh, great(!) Great stuff(!) Guys! Where are you?! - Good? - No, I'm not good! - Keep going.
- Come on, you can make it.
You're an irresponsible bell-end.
- Shut up, Greg.
- Oh! Novice! Wait, where are the others? Sean! - Dana! - Guys?! Dylan! - Here! - Yeah, Sean! Over here.
It's fine.
-- Everything is fine.
-- No, it's not.
You had sex with her and you probably gave me chlamydia.
You know what? I hope so.
I hope we all have chlamydia.
Ah, thank God we found you.
You guys are a long way off the path.
- Yeah, we thought you were behind us.
- Yeah, Greg collapsed by the bridge.
- His balances are shit.
- My ears are burning.
Greg, I'm just telling them you're in a bad way.
No, my ears are actually burning! Lauren, love! You need to cure me! It's probably nothing.
I'll check it when we get back on the path.
Dayna, which way is it? Er I'm not Maybe this way.
Hey, where's my big bag? I think it might be back by the bridge.
Why, is that bad? I mean, it's got the compass and the satellite phone and all the food in, but it's fine.
We've got water.
We're lost, aren't we, Dana? You guys were already lost.
Dana found you -- it's not her fault.
No, it is.
We're definitely lost.
I'm really sorry.
I'm useless.
Are you joking? We're actually lost, like, in Lost? It looks like a tick bite.
Some of them carry infections that cause dizziness and hearing loss.
I don't want to hike anymore! Why don't you know the jungle, Dayna? You should memorise the whole jungle.
- What, like a cabbie? - Yes, exactly.
Like a cabbie.
Which direction do we need to go, Dana? South-left.
Sorry, south-west.
This way.
Hang on, I just need to drain my boy.
Wait, Dylan.
Store it in this.
- What? No! - We don't know when we're next going to find a water source.
Yeah, I'm not thinking his piss.
I know.
We'll all drink our own.
Cool.
Are we eating our own shit as well? I've drunk piss before! At a rugby initiation ceremony called the Water Cycle and it was horrible! We will forage for food or hunt it with a blowpipe.
Hey, there are some mushrooms here.
Yes! Well done, Dana.
Finally.
No, Dilly, that's dangerous.
They could be poisonous.
What? But they're so small.
- Maybe we should just nibble at them.
- Greg, get up.
We should try to find a river.
Yes, that's what they said to do in an emergency -- I remember that now.
OK, and how do we do that then, brains? Well, we go downhill -- like the water does.
No! I'm having a nap! Wake me up when we get back to base! OK, fine.
Dill, I need two long pieces of bamboo, around arm's width.
Everybody else, give me your belt, scarves, socks.
Now! Come on.
Oh, God, I'm so hungry I could eat my own arm.
Yes! A river.
- We've found a river.
- Yes, Sean, you're a genius.
No, don't put me in the river! Let's stop down there.
Keep a lookout for any passing boats and I'll get some water for boiling.
I'll come with you, Sean.
Goddamn it, Greg.
Can you be a little bit less pathetic, please, Dylan? We all know you're hungry.
- I'm going to die.
- You're not going to die.
It's just a fever.
Well, then I'll die of hunger.
OK, can you two stop being such cry-babies and get it together, please? You know, for a doctor, you have a terrible way with people.
I'm no-nonsense, that's all.
Please can I have some whiskey, French woman, whose name I can't remember? Genevieve.
But it's not whiskey, it's morphine.
- Keep talking.
- Wait here.
I'm going to hunt and gather something from the jungle.
OK, seeing as that's definitely not going to happen, we need a plan.
This is a plan.
We need to go and find food before it gets dark.
We should be going to find help.
How? We'll need to take Greg with us, which is almost exactly like transporting a piano.
Maybe now that we're somewhere a bit safer, we could leave him here We're not leaving him here! You are not leaving me here! No, I mean Find help is my point.
- My God! - Well, we would come back for him.
We are not abandoning Greg.
That's not what she's saying.
If you abandon me, I will be furious! And I will track you down! Revenant-style! That's a promise.
OK, lock and load.
You're amazing at this.
Tracking.
Oh thanks.
I had a lot of cheap summer holidays when I was growing up.
We were always camping, or hiking.
Yeah, you can tell.
You're like a grown-up Mowgli or something.
You could totally get a job here as a tracker.
- Really? - Yeah, definitely.
I can ask for you, if we survive this.
Do you think we will? - Survive this? - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Definitely.
Someone will find us -- - no doubt.
- Yeah, yeah, because you know how when a plane is crashing and people just sort of have sex with each other? Because they think they're going to die? This is a bit like that, isn't it? Oh yeah.
- Yeah, I mean, we could definitely die.
- I agree, we could definitely die.
Where have YOU been? Huh? Oh, just getting water.
It might not be clean.
Ha! Look who got a crow.
What, you shot a crow? No, I found it.
It was already dead.
- I'm not eating a crow! - I'll take the feathers off.
That's not my issue.
What if it died from a disease? Or it could have died from old age.
Or banged its head against a tree.
Yeah, that's not even a crow.
It's way too small.
Doesn't matter.
It's food.
I don't want to eat the crow! I agree, eating a crow is a stupid idea.
It's not a crow! Yeah, sorry.
I don't want to eat crows, Genevieve, that's not what I want.
I don't seek out restaurants that serve crow because it's my favourite food! We are now in a survival situation.
If no-one finds us and we don't eat, we will die.
OK, May, maybe you should calm down? And you need to calm up! All of you! We need to eat! I wanted pizza! Look, if we just wait, conserve energy and make peace with the situation, the solution will present itself.
What? Of course it won't.
What kind of plan is that, you dumb hippy? Pardon? - N'apprend - Excuse me, I'm not a hippy! Way to go, May.
Way to insult the woman with cancer.
We need to eat something! Not crow, though.
- It's not a crow! - As I've already said before, Dylan and I are vegetarians.
Dylan isn't, he's been eating meat before you got here.
God, May! Is that true, Dylan? You really can't stop, can you? I'm just saying he can eat it.
He's just being a hypocrite.
How can you be so young and so judgmental? Because we're all going to die and no-one is doing what I say! So, stop trying to take control of them, then.
Stick to judging people from the back.
It's far easier.
I don't do that.
Dylan? Have you been eating meat? Only because they kept ordering it everywhere.
Mainly Ashley.
I didn't want to eat it! Oh, right, you didn't want to(!) And I suppose you didn't want to have sex with her either.
No, actually, I was unwell.
- Hmm? - So, what's that got to do with anything? And I banged my head and I was in hospital at the time.
Really? Is that true, May? Yeah, he was in a clinic.
I was woozy and prone.
Excuse me, prone? So what? She took advantage of you, is that what you're saying? I was weak and not in my right mind.
I did not take advantage of you, Dylan! - This is like when you went out with Rosie Jessup at school.
- Stay out of it, Sean, OK? You had sex with Amy Castorella in the garden and then you tried to blame it on a hammock.
That's completely different! Actually, if two people are in a hammock, they naturally get pushed together in the middle.
That's just gravity, Sean.
Right, so is this gravity's fault as well? I was in my bed, delirious.
Then she sought me out and just started kissing me.
Oh, you piece of shit, Dylan! Give me that thing.
- Ashley, what are you doing? - I did not make you have sex with me, - you admit it right now.
- You're going to shoot me, yeah? - Yes, I am.
- Bloody Americans! That's your answer to everything, isn't it? Shooting people.
I'm French and I think she should shoot you.
- Thank you.
- Stay out of it, Genevieve! You tell her the truth right now, Dylan? Did she pressure you? Is that what happened, Dylan? Hmm? Yes! - Oh, my God! Greg! - No, no.
This is by far the best day of my trip.
Aaarghh! I knew it! You want me dead! Oh, no, I'm so sorry.
Greg, I meant to shoot Dylan.
That is not an excuse! You want to be dead, so you can eat me! You are a truly horrible person.
I didn't mean to.
I can't believe you wanted to travel with these lunatics, Dylan.
Well, not for much longer.
Seeing as you and her want to run off with each other after this.
Not that you got the balls to tell me.
I never said that, Sean.
Are you leaving us, Lauren? Why would you leave us? Well, come on! Eat me! What are you waiting for? That's all I'm good for, isn't it? Meat! And possibly leather! Greg, seriously? Lauren, can you just calm him down or something? I'm trying.
It doesn't help when someone shoots him.
In the arm.
It's a shot in the arm, which is a phrase, means helpful.
Well, it definitely wasn't helpful.
I'm no good to you alive! It's all anyone ever wants from me! Just to get away.
It's Redza! Redza's here! Hey, hey, hey! Hey, easy, easy! Ow, wankers! So They can't send out the jeeps as it's going to get dark soon.
So, we'll have to camp here tonight.
It should have some penicillin in it, for the shouty guy.
- Great, thank you.
- Oh I've some chocolate buttons.
Oh, my gosh! Thank you, Redza! Got you some chocolate buttons.
Oh, God, yes.
Pop 'em in.
Hmm! Mm.
I, I really appreciate you standing up to Ashley like that, by the way.
She's clearly unhinged.
Yeah, I'm Really sorry about that.
And um, about the meat.
I've pitched some tents.
Breakfast will be at eight.
The jeeps will get you to the elephants will be here.
Nine.
No, sorry, Redza, they won't be coming to the elephants anymore, so they'll need to be dropped off in town.
- OK.
- Oh, come on, man.
It's my track! Norm gave it to me.
That's what's happening, none of you can come.
I can come, if you don't mind.
I paid separately.
Yeah, OK, you can come.
Well, we're not going to let them ride elephants with us now, Dylan.
Not after today.
You already told Sean that I wanted to go off that, right? I was only doing what you should have done a long time ago.
Look, they're a bad influence on you, especially Sean.
Look, the Dylan Nutkin that I fell in love with .
.
wouldn't be wasting his time on someone like that.
Hey, Sean.
Um, Redza's giving me a couple of secret beers, - if you want one.
- Oh, yeah, cool.
- Yes.
- I was just going to go check to Ashley.
See if she's OK after everything that happened today.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, sure, completely.
Hey, how are you feeling, Ashley? Oh, I'm just swell, thanks(!) Do you want to talk about it or anything? No.
Thanks.
I just Want some space.
OK, cool.
So, I was talking to Redza and Sean? Redza would have to interview you properly, of course.
But I already told him about how you found the river, so I can't see why he wouldn't just offer you the job.
- I don't know! - And Dylan is going off with Lauren anyway, right? Sorry, Dana, this all feels a bit sudden, you know? I'm, I'm not saying this because of what happened.
- By the river.
- Oh.
I'm not trying to keep you around or make you my boyfriend Yeah, no, sure.
I wouldn't want that either.
They just need people.
Wait You wouldn't want that? Wait, what? You have sex with people, then you don't want to go out with them? Oh! No No, but I'm You said we were going to die.
You only had sex with me because you thought we were going to die? Well, that's what you said.
I mean, I do like you, Dana.
- Huh, yeah, whatever.
- But I just really like someone else.
I don't care! Why are you telling me this? We're not even talking about that, Sean.
OK, cool Sorry? Do you want to carry on talking about the job then, then? No.
It wouldn't work, you're not qualified.
I was just like you, you know.
When I was your age.
I was a selfish idiot who slept with hundreds of very mediocre men.
OK, cool, thanks(!) Because I was around people who judged me and made me unhappy.
Now I don't care what people think.
Yeah, I know.
Hence the headscarf.
You know, you could just wear a hat.
Why do you travel with these people, Ashley? They are not very kind to you.
I don't know what I'm doing.
I was meant to just to be with May but she kind of hates me, so I think she envies you.
Are you serious? Envies what? Your confidence.
Your joie de vivre.
Yeah, I've got zero of that right now.
And she clearly envies your scholarship.
My scholarship is under review.
College may take it away because I spent my entire freshman year getting drunk and flunking class.
I mean, I didn't even tell her.
I haven't told anyone.
But if they do take it away, I can't afford to go back, so My life is basically over.
I have a terminal cancer.
At the most, I have six months to live.
Oh, yeah, sorry.
Don't be, I'm not.
But please, don't wallow in self-pity.
You never know what tomorrow can bring.
And I don't have to wear this, by the way.
I still have my hair.
Huh! So, why do you wear it, then? Bit strange for you, huh? Uh-huh.
Because I like it.
And I do what I like.
And so should you.
Many apologies for the whole tick bite jungle shout-athon.
I didn't exactly slather myself in glory there.
Yeah, well, none of us did.
Yeah.
I'm really sorry.
Yes, I forgive you.
- I was talking to Greg.
- In fact, I forgive all of you for lying to me about Dylan and Ashley - and meat.
- We weren't lying.
Withholding is a form of lying.
I didn't actually know.
And despite this being the worst 36 hours of my life, I have decided we are going to give it another go.
You mean We can all go to the elephants? Oh, yes! - The heffalumps! - What?! No.
No, Dylan! I mean, give it another go -- you and me.
So not with the gang? You expect me to spend more time with the girl you just had sex with, - the crow eater - It wasn't a crow.
.
.
the mad old man - I'm not old! - .
.
and your best friend, who clearly hates me? I don't hate you, Lauren.
You see? He doesn't hate you.
I just think you and Dylan make a terrible couple.
I've met a lot of couples and I can confirm that.
You see?! So, no, Dylan! I don't want to go and travel with the gang! Well, you don't need to worry about me anymore, Lauren, I will be out of your way very soon.
- What do you mean? - I will be travelling with Genevieve from now on.
- Are you serious? - She's asked me to help her work through her bucket list.
Where is Genevieve anyway? Well, it's not just her, I'm afraid.
It's all of them.
I mean He can't be your best man anymore! - Why not? - Because he just said we were a terrible couple! But he's not going to put that in his best man speech, is he?! At least he's finally being honest! OK.
If it's honest you want then open wide cos here it comes.
I cannot play the guitar.
I actively hate it.
I cannot run a 10K every day, or write a novel in two months, or get married by an owl! I can't meet your ludicrous standards, Lauren, and I don't want to! I want to get up after ten! I want to hang out with all these lunatics and with my best friend! And, just for the record, I wanted to have sex with her and I liked it! Genevieve's dead! What?! You'll have to sit in the back if you come now .
.
next to Genevieve.
That's fine, I'm a doctor.
Yeah, I don't think you'll be able to do anything for her now, Lauren.
Can you hurry up with the body, please? Jesus, Lauren.
Can you show some respect, please? Genevieve's just died.
Are you upset about that, or are you just upset you lost the free bucket list? Oh, go fuck yourself, Lauren.
You don't know anything about her.
OK Cool, so Erm I hope you guys had a good time and please do fill out the feedback form on our website to get 10% off your next trek.
All that's left to say is a big thank you for choosing us and that the Jeep will be back to pick you up just after we've dropped off .
.
the corpse.
Perfect.
- Lauren, wait! - No, no, Dyl, what are you doing? Oh, God.
What now, man? Sorry, can I get the ring back, please? You know what? Piss off, Dylan.
What?! No! Hey.
You OK? I'm sorry about Genevieve.
I'm sorry for busting your balls about Dylan and your scholarship.
You're right, it's not my business.
You were right, too.
I have messed up.
I was out of line.
I've been a total hardass.
Look, you don't have to pay me back for the robbery.
It-it's fine, it doesn't matter.
I I can afford it.
I'm just glad you're not leaving.
So you know, I actually think you're kind of amazing for getting that scholarship.
Let's do something .
.
really wild and stupid! OK? For Genevieve.
OK, yeah, no, no, no, I changed my mind.
- It was your idea! - No, it was Ashley's idea.
And we've just escaped one near death experience, - and I'm not sure we should do another one.
- Yes, we should! We need to bounce back! That's the point! And it's hardly near death.
It's a little kiddie one.
Even if the bungee snapped, you would still probably survive it.
OK, now you've put that idea into my head, so I'm definitely not doing it.
Oh, no! Come on! We're doing this for Genevieve.
This will be good for you, May.
You need to push yourself! Or I could push yourself, if you want? No, no, no! Don't you dare push me! Hey! Just jump, May.
Don't think! Just jump! - Jump! - Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! - [Can you take this off me, please?.]
- You can go.
Go, May! - Yeah! - Yes! OK, I'm next.
I'm next.
I'm next! Then me.
Then me! Then me! So stay With me Yeah! - G-Reg! - Jotty Too Hotty! Yes, brother! Oh, my God, do you like him?! He's a very sophisticated man.
This is the place to start again.
Why don't you come and work with me? - You're hired! - Great! OK, thank you.
Jesus Christ! - No, just get rid.
- But they're my friends, Jotty.
They're divs, G.
Lose the lads.