Ginger Snaps (2017) s01e05 Episode Script
Boy Drama
Ah! Why not? Because I'm asking Hemingway to the dance.
Hemingway? That Hemingway? - Yeah, what's wrong with him? - Everything! Other than that.
The head of the Ginger Snaps and the head of the Beta Scouts together, we would be an unstoppable power couple, like Michelle and Barack or vodka and Red Bull.
- My mom started drinking a lot.
- I made you something.
It's half of you and half of me, just - like our offspring would be.
- Gross.
Oh, he's on the move.
I've got to go.
- Bye, Germ.
- It's Jared.
And that's not even a name.
Oh, hey there, Hemingway.
I was thinking, uh, Friday's the dance.
And maybe you'd want to I don't know go do it Mm-mm.
Ew.
Why does my hair always taste like salami? Hem, you left your retainer in my mom's station wagon again.
Whoa.
It's like watching a bonobo in the wild.
Oh, my god.
Calista, I'm so sorry.
- I did not realize that was you.
- We don't know each other, so I'm not sure why you're making eye contact with me.
Calista, it's me, Kishy Kuter Polikanswaminajan.
We've been in school together for almost two years.
We've met several times, and I was almost a Ginger - Snap like three weeks ago? - OK.
Didn't need your life story there, Dave Eggers.
But you know what? It was probably just some misunderstanding.
We should talk about you joining the Ginger Snaps.
- Really? - Later.
Now would you mind? We were just discussing the dance.
- I'm going with Kishy.
- Who's Kishy? - Seriously? - Oh, right.
- Seriously? - Yep.
But I'd be happy to save you a dance.
I love to dance.
Great.
I guess I'll see you on Friday for that dance then, Hemingway.
Weird.
- Call me.
- I've been practicing my moves.
Da-da mm-mm ba-ba-ba da-da uh Word's out that Hemingway rejected you for Kishy.
How? It happened four minutes ago! - The cheerleaders.
- Oh.
They're stupider than pain.
- They're like Stephen Hawking with gossip.
- Killer simile.
I don't have time for your sucking up right now, Rachel.
We can't let this rumor spread.
It will ruin my reputation.
You don't have a reputation.
No.
Yeah.
Uh, you do.
I mean, people people definitely know who you are.
Hey! I heard it didn't work out with Hemingway.
Bummer.
Any chance? Ah! - Should we send in the twins? - No.
Beating the cheerleaders up won't help.
I'll deal with them myself.
Ah! Huh.
I need you to muzzle your bitches.
What's that going to cost me? - You don't have anything I want.
- I have cookies.
- I'm over your cookies.
- I have money.
- I have Patrick.
- Hey.
Yeah, but wouldn't it be nice to have the cash for a new pair of shoes without having to do mouth stuff first? Patrick! Mom should have sold you into white slavery - when she had the chance.
- She should have let you - have that sex change when you asked.
- She's lying.
- That never happened.
- Yeah.
Mom did let her have a sex change.
- Her name used to be Peter.
- Why can't you just be normal? Because being normal means being average.
And some people want to be more than mediocre.
I don't have time to explain ambition to you and Sizzler.
Did she tell you? They promoted me to server.
No raise but all the jalapeno poppers I can eat.
Patrick, stop talking! Do you remember a couple weeks ago when your feral freaks tied me up and interrogated me? And I was like one day you're going to need something from me, and when that day comes, - I'm going to be like screw you? - That may sound familiar.
Screw you.
We spread this faster than we spread mono.
- Everyone already knows.
- Everyone? Everyone.
Sorry, Sis, but until something juicier comes along, you're a headliner.
OK, but you have to remember the safety word this time.
- You made her see reason? - Nope.
Calista! Oh, look at that.
"Something juicier for people to talk about.
" You're slut-shaming apple? Slut-shaming is really misogynistic.
- We own our sexuality, and that's OK.
- And at least we can get laid.
Now you're making fun of her for being unattractive, - which is also misogynistic.
- Enough, bimbos.
Patrick broke up with me.
Before you were playing with fire, but now you're playing with much bigger fire.
This isn't over, Calista.
- That was cold-hearted.
- Thank you.
- The only loose end now is Kishy.
- Who? - The Indian.
- Oh, right.
I'll have the twins take care of her.
I can't believe I'm finally going to be a Ginger Snap.
Calista is so nice.
She seems like she's not at first, but then she makes your dreams come true.
- Her smile is like a rainbow.
- This is so gross.
Why are they doing that? I wonder if she'll let me touch her hair.
I would braid it or brush it.
And if a little got in my mouth, I wouldn't be mad at it.
They're usually not aggressive towards others in their group.
Occasionally attack each other for sport.
Beware of the enraged female bonobo who will sometimes travel hundreds of miles to kill a rival for control of the group.
Uck.
Boring.
I've seen more blood an in-fighting on "Gilmore Girls.
" and turning their back-ends towards each other in a menacing fashion.
Hemingway? That Hemingway? - Yeah, what's wrong with him? - Everything! Other than that.
The head of the Ginger Snaps and the head of the Beta Scouts together, we would be an unstoppable power couple, like Michelle and Barack or vodka and Red Bull.
- My mom started drinking a lot.
- I made you something.
It's half of you and half of me, just - like our offspring would be.
- Gross.
Oh, he's on the move.
I've got to go.
- Bye, Germ.
- It's Jared.
And that's not even a name.
Oh, hey there, Hemingway.
I was thinking, uh, Friday's the dance.
And maybe you'd want to I don't know go do it Mm-mm.
Ew.
Why does my hair always taste like salami? Hem, you left your retainer in my mom's station wagon again.
Whoa.
It's like watching a bonobo in the wild.
Oh, my god.
Calista, I'm so sorry.
- I did not realize that was you.
- We don't know each other, so I'm not sure why you're making eye contact with me.
Calista, it's me, Kishy Kuter Polikanswaminajan.
We've been in school together for almost two years.
We've met several times, and I was almost a Ginger - Snap like three weeks ago? - OK.
Didn't need your life story there, Dave Eggers.
But you know what? It was probably just some misunderstanding.
We should talk about you joining the Ginger Snaps.
- Really? - Later.
Now would you mind? We were just discussing the dance.
- I'm going with Kishy.
- Who's Kishy? - Seriously? - Oh, right.
- Seriously? - Yep.
But I'd be happy to save you a dance.
I love to dance.
Great.
I guess I'll see you on Friday for that dance then, Hemingway.
Weird.
- Call me.
- I've been practicing my moves.
Da-da mm-mm ba-ba-ba da-da uh Word's out that Hemingway rejected you for Kishy.
How? It happened four minutes ago! - The cheerleaders.
- Oh.
They're stupider than pain.
- They're like Stephen Hawking with gossip.
- Killer simile.
I don't have time for your sucking up right now, Rachel.
We can't let this rumor spread.
It will ruin my reputation.
You don't have a reputation.
No.
Yeah.
Uh, you do.
I mean, people people definitely know who you are.
Hey! I heard it didn't work out with Hemingway.
Bummer.
Any chance? Ah! - Should we send in the twins? - No.
Beating the cheerleaders up won't help.
I'll deal with them myself.
Ah! Huh.
I need you to muzzle your bitches.
What's that going to cost me? - You don't have anything I want.
- I have cookies.
- I'm over your cookies.
- I have money.
- I have Patrick.
- Hey.
Yeah, but wouldn't it be nice to have the cash for a new pair of shoes without having to do mouth stuff first? Patrick! Mom should have sold you into white slavery - when she had the chance.
- She should have let you - have that sex change when you asked.
- She's lying.
- That never happened.
- Yeah.
Mom did let her have a sex change.
- Her name used to be Peter.
- Why can't you just be normal? Because being normal means being average.
And some people want to be more than mediocre.
I don't have time to explain ambition to you and Sizzler.
Did she tell you? They promoted me to server.
No raise but all the jalapeno poppers I can eat.
Patrick, stop talking! Do you remember a couple weeks ago when your feral freaks tied me up and interrogated me? And I was like one day you're going to need something from me, and when that day comes, - I'm going to be like screw you? - That may sound familiar.
Screw you.
We spread this faster than we spread mono.
- Everyone already knows.
- Everyone? Everyone.
Sorry, Sis, but until something juicier comes along, you're a headliner.
OK, but you have to remember the safety word this time.
- You made her see reason? - Nope.
Calista! Oh, look at that.
"Something juicier for people to talk about.
" You're slut-shaming apple? Slut-shaming is really misogynistic.
- We own our sexuality, and that's OK.
- And at least we can get laid.
Now you're making fun of her for being unattractive, - which is also misogynistic.
- Enough, bimbos.
Patrick broke up with me.
Before you were playing with fire, but now you're playing with much bigger fire.
This isn't over, Calista.
- That was cold-hearted.
- Thank you.
- The only loose end now is Kishy.
- Who? - The Indian.
- Oh, right.
I'll have the twins take care of her.
I can't believe I'm finally going to be a Ginger Snap.
Calista is so nice.
She seems like she's not at first, but then she makes your dreams come true.
- Her smile is like a rainbow.
- This is so gross.
Why are they doing that? I wonder if she'll let me touch her hair.
I would braid it or brush it.
And if a little got in my mouth, I wouldn't be mad at it.
They're usually not aggressive towards others in their group.
Occasionally attack each other for sport.
Beware of the enraged female bonobo who will sometimes travel hundreds of miles to kill a rival for control of the group.
Uck.
Boring.
I've seen more blood an in-fighting on "Gilmore Girls.
" and turning their back-ends towards each other in a menacing fashion.