Gintama (2005) s01e05 Episode Script
Make Friends You Can Call by Their Nicknames, Even When You're an Old Fart!
The land of the samurai.
There was a time, long ago, when our country was called by that name.
With the arrival of the "Amanto" from outer space and the Sword Ban twenty years ago, the samurai class fell into decline.
In such hard times, there was one man left with the spirit of the samurai.
His name is Gintoki Sakata, a reckless Jack of All Trades with a sweet tooth.
Due to some rather unexpected events, I, Shinpachi Shimura, and Kagura, ended up working here.
The three of us slice up a corrupt Edo.
Wait, is that really the story? [A fateful reunion with an old friend!! Gintoki's hidden past.
.]
[By the way, can you spell out "Anti-Foreigner Faction" without looking it up?.]
[Odd Jobs Gin.]
Hey! The huge stash of chocolate I was saving has disappeared.
Whoever ate it, raise your hand now, and I'll only kill you three-fourths of the way.
Three-fourths? That's pretty much dead.
Besides, if you don't cut it out, you really will get diabetes.
Another embassy attacked serial terrorist bombings rampage continues.
The world sure is violent place.
Poppy, Mommy, I'm scared.
You're the scary one.
Looking so happy with your bloody nose.
Were my chocolates tasty? A nosebleed from eating chocolate? Puh-leese! Don't play dumb! I can smell the sugar in your blood! Don't be silly.
I just went in for a booger a little too deep.
[MIND YOUR SUGAR LEVELS.]
No girl your age would do that.
What are you, a cop who's just about to retire? What kind of nonsense talk is that? Anyway, chill out! What's the ruckus? An accident? ["Make Friends You Can Call by Their Nicknames, Even When You're an Old Fart".]
Hey! Moron! What are you doing, crashing into my shop?! I hope you're ready to die! S-Sorry.
I didn't sleep well last night.
No problem! I'm gonna make sure you close your eyes forever! Otose! You shouldn't do that to an injured person! Are you all right? Y-Yeah This is bad.
Kagura, call an ambulance.
Ambulance! That's a pretty primitive way of calling an ambulance?! You're a postman, huh? Your packages are a mess! Th-This Deliver this in my place Please I think it's important.
If I fail to deliver it I might lose my job! PleaseI beg you.
Hey! You're sure this is the place? Yup.
An embassy.
This is the Inui Embassy! The Inui from the Dog Star System were the first Amanto to come to earth, weren't they? Yeah.
They're the scary ones who fired cannons at the Edo Castle and forced the country to open up.
This is a nasty place, that's for sure.
Hey! What the hell are you doing here? Do you want to get eaten? Well, we were just asked to deliver a package.
Come on, Kagura, hand it overquick! Come 'ere, little doggy.
I'll give you some pickled seaweed.
What're you doing?! Here it is.
Didn't hear anything about a package today.
Lately we've been worried about bombings.
Security's tight.
Go home.
It might be dog food inside.
Enjoy.
Who'd eat crap like that? I don't really know what happened, but I think I know our next move.
Run! Hey, wait! Shinpachi! What the hell do you think you're doing? Let go! No way! They're not taking me alone! Can't you say something like, "Leave me.
Just go on ahead"? Think about me and just go to the next world! Shut up! I'm taking you with me! What's going on?! Waah! A pack of dog guards! These guys are a pain in the butt.
Time to go, Gintoki.
You're Zura! Kotaro Zura?! It's not Zura.
It's Katsura! Y-You bastard.
How long has it been since we last saw each other? You didn't have to uppercut me, did you? I've told you a thousand times to stop using that nickname.
Anyway, what are you doing here? How long are you going to keep talking?! Save it, Gintoki.
Wait! He finally exposed himself.
Yamazaki! Yes! Track down their base, at all cost.
Sir! With all the Amanto in the world now, even the hero of the Amanto war is just another criminal.
Takes real guts to still be fighting the Amanto these days.
Hey, Okita, wake up.
I'm surprised that you could sleep through that explosion.
Explosion? Did you let the terrorists attack again? What's your problem, Hijikata? You need to apply yourself.
You wanna sleep permanently? They can blow up all the Amanto for all I care.
I'll let those fishies swim for a bit before I'll reel 'em in, line 'em upand cut their necks.
It'll be a proud moment for the Shinsengumi.
I'm looking forward to this fight.
Another Amanto embassy has been bombed.
Our reporter Ketsuno is on the scene! Ketsuno, you there? Ketsuno! Ana! This is Ketsuno at the scene.
[Announcer Ketsuno.]
[No Entry.]
This time, the despicable bomber has gone after the Dog Star embassy.
Luckily, nobody has been injured or killed.
We've just received word that the alleged terrorists were caught on tape by a security camera.
Ah You can see them very clearly! You really can see us clearly.
What'll I do? Sis is going to kill me.
I'm on TV.
I've got to call home.
Do you suppose this is all some sort of conspiracy? How did we get into this mess? Meeting Katsura was the only good that came out of it.
To think he'd actually hide us during all this.
Gin, he's friend of yours, isn't he? What sort of person is he? Hmm A terrorist.
Stop using that word, Gintoki.
We're not terrorists.
We're Freedom Fighters! [Special Police - Shinsengumi Garrison.]
Oh? So we finally found them? Yes.
Yamazaki is following them right now.
It's only a matter of time before we discover their base, Kondo.
I see Good work, Toshi.
It's too soon to thank me.
Save it for after we've killed them! That's right.
The Shinsengumi only give credit after distinguished military service.
We, the Shinsengumi, belong in battle.
You're the chief.
I'm only following orders.
I'm counting on you, Toshi! Yup.
There are two scary-looking guys at the entrance.
No doubt about it, we've found them.
Say, Mom, is that man a peeping tom? Shh! Yu, you mustn't grow up to be like that.
Shouldn't we report him to the police? The Amanto are pests that pollute this country with their presence.
We must force them out and rebuild this country into the land of samurai once more.
We're expelling foreigners in order to protect this country.
Foreigner expulsion patriotism?! What's that? Foreigner Expulsion is an ideology that sprang up during the Amanto attacks twenty years ago.
They tried to drive out the aliens.
The Amanto pressured us to open up our doors.
Under that threat, the samurai rose up together to try to chase them out of Edo.
Confronted by Amanto's immense power, the government surrendered.
They abandoned the samurai and signed an unfair treaty with the Amanto.
The Amanto had control over the core of the government.
They took away the samurai's swords and made them powerless.
I heard that afterwards many of the exclusionists were purged.
I never thought that they still existed.
It seems we've been manipulated.
Isn't that right, Mr.
Postman? He's right! I remember those bushy eyebrows.
Hold on.
What's going on, bushy-brows?! It's all your doing, isn't it, Katsura? All these recent attacks that have everyone in a panic.
There was something I had to get my hands on, even if it meant dirtying them.
Gintoki, will you take up your sword alongside me in order to rebuild this corrupt country? Once again, will you lend me the strength that made you feared as the White Knight? Gintoki, will you take up your sword alongside me in order to rebuild this corrupt country? Once again will you lend me the strength that made you feared as the White Knight? This is the end of the line.
Rather than be caught by the enemy, let us finish as warriors and slash our bellies.
Don't be stupid.
Stand up.
If you've got enough time to fantasize about your beautiful death, why don't you live your life beautifully to the end? Let's do this, Zura.
It's not Zura.
It's Katsura! His white hair was soaked in blood.
Bounding into battle was a vision of a demon knight in full glory.
It was he who fought like an avenging angel in the war with Amanto He was like a god of war who was feared not only by his enemies but by his own people.
Gintoki Sakata, you should join with us, once again, to fight against the Amanto.
Ginyou were involved in the Foreigner Expulsion War too? He disappeared after the battle.
I never really knew what was going on in your head.
I like a nice loud fight, but I hate morbid crap like terrorism.
The battle is over.
How long are you going to go on and on? What are you, my mother-in-law? Are you stupid?! Mothers always pester their sons.
Nobody likes you because your heart isn't big enough to embrace.
You little If I didn't have I naturally wavy hair I'd definitely be popular with girls.
I think.
There you go again blaming everything on your naturally wavy hair.
Pathetic.
Who's pathetic? People use their complexes as springboards to greatness.
What the hell are you talking about?! Our fight is far from over.
Inside, you're still fighting, Gintoki.
You worry about this country and are angry at the government and the Amanto for taking the lives of the people who fought with you.
Let's clear out the Amanto and rebuild this corrupt country.
It's the only way we can honor the memory of our dead.
Our next target is the spaceship terminal.
We shall destroy that accursed tower that brings the Amanto and we shall purge them from Edo.
But the tower is a major world hub.
It won't fall easily.
We need your strength, Gintoki.
Come on.
I've been telling you that I You're already an accomplice for helping us.
You can't refuse us.
If you don't want to be treated as a terrorist, then come with me.
There's no need to hesitate.
Your place was always with us.
Gin You're under arrest! Come quietly, you terrorist scum! I-It's the Shinsengumi! Oh no! Run away! Kill them all! Wh-Wh-Who are those people?! They're the Shinsengumi, the Armed Police.
An elite anti-terrorist squad they send in to wipe out rebel elements! Those guys are really annoying.
What should we do, boss? I'm not your freakin' boss! And you're the annoying one! Zura, if you need a boss, I'm your man! "Whether you're doing something good or bad, be the boss.
" That's my motto! You shut up! Your mottos sounds like something out of the mouth of a feudal warlord! Hey.
There's no need to run.
It's a nice fight.
Let's have some fun.
Hey, are you really a public official? I'm surprised you passed the interview.
Your pupils are dilated.
You should talk, creep! Coming from someone with eyes of a dead fish.
It's all right.
They sparkle during my close-ups.
Don't lie! You're pretty good.
Most people can't keep up with this transition.
That's dangerous.
What would you do if it really hit me? You idiot! I'm trying to hit you! Mr.
Hijikata, look out.
You alive, Mr.
Hijikata? Moron, you coulda killed me! Aw.
I missed.
What do you mean miss?! Hey! Look at me! Where are they? Vice-chief, they're in here.
Hey, come on out! Stop your useless resistance! Did you grow more hair? This is the fifteenth floor.
There's no escape! What are you doing? It's a time bomb.
I was going to use it on the terminal, but I have no choice.
I'll give those guys a little present.
In the confusion, everyone run.
Jerk! What do you think you're doing to Katsura?! Katsura, let's put an end to this.
No matter how much you get your hands dirty, our dead buddies won't be pleased, nor will times change.
Don't dirty them anymore.
You're the one who's dirty, Gintoki.
As soon as times changed, you went over to the other side.
A warrior must stick to his beliefs.
What's the point in standing up for beliefs that have been laid out for me? Looking forward to losing your precious friends? I don't want that anymore.
If it's my life on the line, I'll adhere to my own code.
And I'll protect what I want to protect.
Ginthis thingyI pushed the switch when I was fiddling with it.
What a nightmare.
How cliché.
Hey, come out.
We're really going to fire this time.
Mr.
Hijikata, our evening soap rerun is going to start soon.
Geez.
I forgot to set my VCR.
Let's get this over with.
Prepare to fire! Fire! Wh-What are you doing?! Stop them! If you want to stop something, then stop this bomb, please! You have a bomb squad, don't you?! He's got a bomb! Hold on! Hey, wait! Shinpachi! Didn't you say that you were good with machines?! Y-Y-You're mistaken! Kagura, this is your fault to begin with! Do somethin'! N-N-Naturally curly hair and bombs go well with each other! A-A-An inari sushi came out from the side! A-A-An ethical society.
I-I-Ingry Mongry? R-R-Reach, first-turn win, self-draw M-M-Momiji manju!! I-I-I don't want to have an affair!! W-W-Welcome back, Yokoi!! H-H-How long are we going to do this?! A-A-Adrian!! Who is Adrian anyway?! The game ends if you end it with "N"! Only 10 seconds left! Gin! The window, the window! Impossible! We're dead! Gin, bite down on something.
Oh.
Hey! G-Gin! Good-bye, Gin! If you've got enough time to fantasize about your beautiful death, why not just live beautifully to the end? Live life beautifully? What's so beautiful about that? I guess having a friend who never changes isn't such a bad thing, after all.
Hurry, Sogo! The soap opera rerun! We made it! All right! [A Tender Drama.]
[There're only demons in the world, damn it!!.]
[Starring Pinko Koizumi.]
[Special Report.]
A bombing at the Ikedaya Hotel.
We interrupt this broadcast to bring you a special report.
Ketsuno is at the scene! Ketsuno! Ana! This is Ketsuno at the scene.
[Preview.]
Shinpachi, you're the leader of an idol singer fan club? You're just like what you look like: a four-eyed geek.
You're a pretty typical character, aren't you? So is this old man one of your geeky friends? The next episode "Keep a Promise Even If It Kills You.
" [Idol Tsu Terakado Age 17.
Currently on her first live tour!!.]
[Her debut song "Your Mom is XX" is too dirty to be aired!!.]
[Third Year, Class Z.]
Third year, class Z, Ginpachi-sensei! [Third Year, Class Z.]
Stand! Bow! Take your seats! OK everyone, open Gin Tama volume 1.
[MIND YOUR SUGAR LEVELS.]
For today's lesson, I'd like to explain the meaning of "Gin Tama.
" [Gin Tama.]
Does anyone know the meaning of "Gin Tama"? Here! I can't see the black board because of Katsura's long hair.
Zura, I told you to go cut your hair or take it off.
Sensei, I can't take it off.
Then remove it.
Sensei, I'm so going to sue this school.
Let's get back to our lesson.
Sensei! Kagura, the exchange student, is eating her bento lunch in class.
She's totally flashing her wiener, too.
Sensei, I'm not having early lunch.
In my country, I always had snacks like popcorn during class.
I see.
Then go back to your country! OK, so back to the lesson Sensei! I don't think you're supposed to smoking during class.
This isn't a cigarette.
It's a lollypop.
Smoke doesn't come out from a lollypop.
That's because I'm licking it so fast.
What I just covered will be on the test.
So you better be taking notes.
Dismissed! I'm gonna transfer outta here.
[The End.]
There was a time, long ago, when our country was called by that name.
With the arrival of the "Amanto" from outer space and the Sword Ban twenty years ago, the samurai class fell into decline.
In such hard times, there was one man left with the spirit of the samurai.
His name is Gintoki Sakata, a reckless Jack of All Trades with a sweet tooth.
Due to some rather unexpected events, I, Shinpachi Shimura, and Kagura, ended up working here.
The three of us slice up a corrupt Edo.
Wait, is that really the story? [A fateful reunion with an old friend!! Gintoki's hidden past.
.]
[By the way, can you spell out "Anti-Foreigner Faction" without looking it up?.]
[Odd Jobs Gin.]
Hey! The huge stash of chocolate I was saving has disappeared.
Whoever ate it, raise your hand now, and I'll only kill you three-fourths of the way.
Three-fourths? That's pretty much dead.
Besides, if you don't cut it out, you really will get diabetes.
Another embassy attacked serial terrorist bombings rampage continues.
The world sure is violent place.
Poppy, Mommy, I'm scared.
You're the scary one.
Looking so happy with your bloody nose.
Were my chocolates tasty? A nosebleed from eating chocolate? Puh-leese! Don't play dumb! I can smell the sugar in your blood! Don't be silly.
I just went in for a booger a little too deep.
[MIND YOUR SUGAR LEVELS.]
No girl your age would do that.
What are you, a cop who's just about to retire? What kind of nonsense talk is that? Anyway, chill out! What's the ruckus? An accident? ["Make Friends You Can Call by Their Nicknames, Even When You're an Old Fart".]
Hey! Moron! What are you doing, crashing into my shop?! I hope you're ready to die! S-Sorry.
I didn't sleep well last night.
No problem! I'm gonna make sure you close your eyes forever! Otose! You shouldn't do that to an injured person! Are you all right? Y-Yeah This is bad.
Kagura, call an ambulance.
Ambulance! That's a pretty primitive way of calling an ambulance?! You're a postman, huh? Your packages are a mess! Th-This Deliver this in my place Please I think it's important.
If I fail to deliver it I might lose my job! PleaseI beg you.
Hey! You're sure this is the place? Yup.
An embassy.
This is the Inui Embassy! The Inui from the Dog Star System were the first Amanto to come to earth, weren't they? Yeah.
They're the scary ones who fired cannons at the Edo Castle and forced the country to open up.
This is a nasty place, that's for sure.
Hey! What the hell are you doing here? Do you want to get eaten? Well, we were just asked to deliver a package.
Come on, Kagura, hand it overquick! Come 'ere, little doggy.
I'll give you some pickled seaweed.
What're you doing?! Here it is.
Didn't hear anything about a package today.
Lately we've been worried about bombings.
Security's tight.
Go home.
It might be dog food inside.
Enjoy.
Who'd eat crap like that? I don't really know what happened, but I think I know our next move.
Run! Hey, wait! Shinpachi! What the hell do you think you're doing? Let go! No way! They're not taking me alone! Can't you say something like, "Leave me.
Just go on ahead"? Think about me and just go to the next world! Shut up! I'm taking you with me! What's going on?! Waah! A pack of dog guards! These guys are a pain in the butt.
Time to go, Gintoki.
You're Zura! Kotaro Zura?! It's not Zura.
It's Katsura! Y-You bastard.
How long has it been since we last saw each other? You didn't have to uppercut me, did you? I've told you a thousand times to stop using that nickname.
Anyway, what are you doing here? How long are you going to keep talking?! Save it, Gintoki.
Wait! He finally exposed himself.
Yamazaki! Yes! Track down their base, at all cost.
Sir! With all the Amanto in the world now, even the hero of the Amanto war is just another criminal.
Takes real guts to still be fighting the Amanto these days.
Hey, Okita, wake up.
I'm surprised that you could sleep through that explosion.
Explosion? Did you let the terrorists attack again? What's your problem, Hijikata? You need to apply yourself.
You wanna sleep permanently? They can blow up all the Amanto for all I care.
I'll let those fishies swim for a bit before I'll reel 'em in, line 'em upand cut their necks.
It'll be a proud moment for the Shinsengumi.
I'm looking forward to this fight.
Another Amanto embassy has been bombed.
Our reporter Ketsuno is on the scene! Ketsuno, you there? Ketsuno! Ana! This is Ketsuno at the scene.
[Announcer Ketsuno.]
[No Entry.]
This time, the despicable bomber has gone after the Dog Star embassy.
Luckily, nobody has been injured or killed.
We've just received word that the alleged terrorists were caught on tape by a security camera.
Ah You can see them very clearly! You really can see us clearly.
What'll I do? Sis is going to kill me.
I'm on TV.
I've got to call home.
Do you suppose this is all some sort of conspiracy? How did we get into this mess? Meeting Katsura was the only good that came out of it.
To think he'd actually hide us during all this.
Gin, he's friend of yours, isn't he? What sort of person is he? Hmm A terrorist.
Stop using that word, Gintoki.
We're not terrorists.
We're Freedom Fighters! [Special Police - Shinsengumi Garrison.]
Oh? So we finally found them? Yes.
Yamazaki is following them right now.
It's only a matter of time before we discover their base, Kondo.
I see Good work, Toshi.
It's too soon to thank me.
Save it for after we've killed them! That's right.
The Shinsengumi only give credit after distinguished military service.
We, the Shinsengumi, belong in battle.
You're the chief.
I'm only following orders.
I'm counting on you, Toshi! Yup.
There are two scary-looking guys at the entrance.
No doubt about it, we've found them.
Say, Mom, is that man a peeping tom? Shh! Yu, you mustn't grow up to be like that.
Shouldn't we report him to the police? The Amanto are pests that pollute this country with their presence.
We must force them out and rebuild this country into the land of samurai once more.
We're expelling foreigners in order to protect this country.
Foreigner expulsion patriotism?! What's that? Foreigner Expulsion is an ideology that sprang up during the Amanto attacks twenty years ago.
They tried to drive out the aliens.
The Amanto pressured us to open up our doors.
Under that threat, the samurai rose up together to try to chase them out of Edo.
Confronted by Amanto's immense power, the government surrendered.
They abandoned the samurai and signed an unfair treaty with the Amanto.
The Amanto had control over the core of the government.
They took away the samurai's swords and made them powerless.
I heard that afterwards many of the exclusionists were purged.
I never thought that they still existed.
It seems we've been manipulated.
Isn't that right, Mr.
Postman? He's right! I remember those bushy eyebrows.
Hold on.
What's going on, bushy-brows?! It's all your doing, isn't it, Katsura? All these recent attacks that have everyone in a panic.
There was something I had to get my hands on, even if it meant dirtying them.
Gintoki, will you take up your sword alongside me in order to rebuild this corrupt country? Once again, will you lend me the strength that made you feared as the White Knight? Gintoki, will you take up your sword alongside me in order to rebuild this corrupt country? Once again will you lend me the strength that made you feared as the White Knight? This is the end of the line.
Rather than be caught by the enemy, let us finish as warriors and slash our bellies.
Don't be stupid.
Stand up.
If you've got enough time to fantasize about your beautiful death, why don't you live your life beautifully to the end? Let's do this, Zura.
It's not Zura.
It's Katsura! His white hair was soaked in blood.
Bounding into battle was a vision of a demon knight in full glory.
It was he who fought like an avenging angel in the war with Amanto He was like a god of war who was feared not only by his enemies but by his own people.
Gintoki Sakata, you should join with us, once again, to fight against the Amanto.
Ginyou were involved in the Foreigner Expulsion War too? He disappeared after the battle.
I never really knew what was going on in your head.
I like a nice loud fight, but I hate morbid crap like terrorism.
The battle is over.
How long are you going to go on and on? What are you, my mother-in-law? Are you stupid?! Mothers always pester their sons.
Nobody likes you because your heart isn't big enough to embrace.
You little If I didn't have I naturally wavy hair I'd definitely be popular with girls.
I think.
There you go again blaming everything on your naturally wavy hair.
Pathetic.
Who's pathetic? People use their complexes as springboards to greatness.
What the hell are you talking about?! Our fight is far from over.
Inside, you're still fighting, Gintoki.
You worry about this country and are angry at the government and the Amanto for taking the lives of the people who fought with you.
Let's clear out the Amanto and rebuild this corrupt country.
It's the only way we can honor the memory of our dead.
Our next target is the spaceship terminal.
We shall destroy that accursed tower that brings the Amanto and we shall purge them from Edo.
But the tower is a major world hub.
It won't fall easily.
We need your strength, Gintoki.
Come on.
I've been telling you that I You're already an accomplice for helping us.
You can't refuse us.
If you don't want to be treated as a terrorist, then come with me.
There's no need to hesitate.
Your place was always with us.
Gin You're under arrest! Come quietly, you terrorist scum! I-It's the Shinsengumi! Oh no! Run away! Kill them all! Wh-Wh-Who are those people?! They're the Shinsengumi, the Armed Police.
An elite anti-terrorist squad they send in to wipe out rebel elements! Those guys are really annoying.
What should we do, boss? I'm not your freakin' boss! And you're the annoying one! Zura, if you need a boss, I'm your man! "Whether you're doing something good or bad, be the boss.
" That's my motto! You shut up! Your mottos sounds like something out of the mouth of a feudal warlord! Hey.
There's no need to run.
It's a nice fight.
Let's have some fun.
Hey, are you really a public official? I'm surprised you passed the interview.
Your pupils are dilated.
You should talk, creep! Coming from someone with eyes of a dead fish.
It's all right.
They sparkle during my close-ups.
Don't lie! You're pretty good.
Most people can't keep up with this transition.
That's dangerous.
What would you do if it really hit me? You idiot! I'm trying to hit you! Mr.
Hijikata, look out.
You alive, Mr.
Hijikata? Moron, you coulda killed me! Aw.
I missed.
What do you mean miss?! Hey! Look at me! Where are they? Vice-chief, they're in here.
Hey, come on out! Stop your useless resistance! Did you grow more hair? This is the fifteenth floor.
There's no escape! What are you doing? It's a time bomb.
I was going to use it on the terminal, but I have no choice.
I'll give those guys a little present.
In the confusion, everyone run.
Jerk! What do you think you're doing to Katsura?! Katsura, let's put an end to this.
No matter how much you get your hands dirty, our dead buddies won't be pleased, nor will times change.
Don't dirty them anymore.
You're the one who's dirty, Gintoki.
As soon as times changed, you went over to the other side.
A warrior must stick to his beliefs.
What's the point in standing up for beliefs that have been laid out for me? Looking forward to losing your precious friends? I don't want that anymore.
If it's my life on the line, I'll adhere to my own code.
And I'll protect what I want to protect.
Ginthis thingyI pushed the switch when I was fiddling with it.
What a nightmare.
How cliché.
Hey, come out.
We're really going to fire this time.
Mr.
Hijikata, our evening soap rerun is going to start soon.
Geez.
I forgot to set my VCR.
Let's get this over with.
Prepare to fire! Fire! Wh-What are you doing?! Stop them! If you want to stop something, then stop this bomb, please! You have a bomb squad, don't you?! He's got a bomb! Hold on! Hey, wait! Shinpachi! Didn't you say that you were good with machines?! Y-Y-You're mistaken! Kagura, this is your fault to begin with! Do somethin'! N-N-Naturally curly hair and bombs go well with each other! A-A-An inari sushi came out from the side! A-A-An ethical society.
I-I-Ingry Mongry? R-R-Reach, first-turn win, self-draw M-M-Momiji manju!! I-I-I don't want to have an affair!! W-W-Welcome back, Yokoi!! H-H-How long are we going to do this?! A-A-Adrian!! Who is Adrian anyway?! The game ends if you end it with "N"! Only 10 seconds left! Gin! The window, the window! Impossible! We're dead! Gin, bite down on something.
Oh.
Hey! G-Gin! Good-bye, Gin! If you've got enough time to fantasize about your beautiful death, why not just live beautifully to the end? Live life beautifully? What's so beautiful about that? I guess having a friend who never changes isn't such a bad thing, after all.
Hurry, Sogo! The soap opera rerun! We made it! All right! [A Tender Drama.]
[There're only demons in the world, damn it!!.]
[Starring Pinko Koizumi.]
[Special Report.]
A bombing at the Ikedaya Hotel.
We interrupt this broadcast to bring you a special report.
Ketsuno is at the scene! Ketsuno! Ana! This is Ketsuno at the scene.
[Preview.]
Shinpachi, you're the leader of an idol singer fan club? You're just like what you look like: a four-eyed geek.
You're a pretty typical character, aren't you? So is this old man one of your geeky friends? The next episode "Keep a Promise Even If It Kills You.
" [Idol Tsu Terakado Age 17.
Currently on her first live tour!!.]
[Her debut song "Your Mom is XX" is too dirty to be aired!!.]
[Third Year, Class Z.]
Third year, class Z, Ginpachi-sensei! [Third Year, Class Z.]
Stand! Bow! Take your seats! OK everyone, open Gin Tama volume 1.
[MIND YOUR SUGAR LEVELS.]
For today's lesson, I'd like to explain the meaning of "Gin Tama.
" [Gin Tama.]
Does anyone know the meaning of "Gin Tama"? Here! I can't see the black board because of Katsura's long hair.
Zura, I told you to go cut your hair or take it off.
Sensei, I can't take it off.
Then remove it.
Sensei, I'm so going to sue this school.
Let's get back to our lesson.
Sensei! Kagura, the exchange student, is eating her bento lunch in class.
She's totally flashing her wiener, too.
Sensei, I'm not having early lunch.
In my country, I always had snacks like popcorn during class.
I see.
Then go back to your country! OK, so back to the lesson Sensei! I don't think you're supposed to smoking during class.
This isn't a cigarette.
It's a lollypop.
Smoke doesn't come out from a lollypop.
That's because I'm licking it so fast.
What I just covered will be on the test.
So you better be taking notes.
Dismissed! I'm gonna transfer outta here.
[The End.]