Good Girls (2018) s01e05 Episode Script
Taking Care of Business
1 Previously on "Good Girls" Why does a grocery store even have this kind of money? Because it's hella shady! Call your friends over so we can have a little talk.
He wants us to pick something up for him in Canada.
It's just wrapping paper.
We have a business proposition to clean your fake money.
- What are you proposing? - Let us do it, right here.
Fake money in, real money out.
[WHISPERING.]
What do you want? - You can't just walk in here.
- The door was open.
Beth, who's your new friend? Is he the reason you're not wearing your ring? Oh, my God.
I want you out.
- What? - Yeah, I want you gone now.
I have cancer.
Agent Turner, I saw this guy.
Okay, he was with the three of them before, and I saw him again yesterday.
Whatever they're into, he is involved.
Hi, I'm looking for Mrs.
Boland.
- Can I help you? - I'm hoping you can.
- Cute kids.
- Aw, thanks, we like them.
Yeah, most of the time.
And how's the neighborhood treating you? - Pretty quiet, mostly, or? - Is something going on? Oh, just some ugliness bleeding in from the city.
- We try to stay on top of it.
- Well, that sounds scary.
Yeah, you guys seen anything weird? Like what? You know, people that don't quite go with the vibe here.
Actually, I have.
That guy, the, um, the the guy.
Question, is it illegal to throw dog poop into other people's trash bins? Because we have this guy in the neighborhood, who, uh it's probably not FBI jurisdiction.
I'm guessing not.
Those are government bins, right? - So - [CHUCKLES.]
Let me know if you see anything out of the ordinary.
Copy that, we will be your eyes and ears.
Yes.
And thank you, Agent Turner.
Jimmy.
Yeah, I'll show you out.
So yeah, this guy, he walks his dog, - and he's like a great Dane - Mm-hmm.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
We shouldn't do it.
What do you mean we shouldn't do it? I mean we shouldn't clean a bunch of counterfeit money when the FBI is on our trail.
It was your idea! Can you all keep it down please? Look, they're not on our trail, okay? - He was in my kitchen.
- Stan is in my bedroom.
If the guy knew anything, he would have just said it.
He gave his card to me, and not to Dean.
Well, maybe he didn't know if Dean could read.
Look, I got fancy lawyer bills coming out the wazoo, dawg! I talked to her for 15 minutes, it cost me 800 dollars! You know how much a criminal lawyer costs? I need this payday; we didn't get the last one.
We all need it.
But let's not be stupid about it.
What's stupid is if we screw this up.
Because Gang Friend is not going to give us another shot.
Gang friend? Probably some teenagers, like, stole an Xbox or something.
- I promise you, it was nothing.
- It wasn't nothing! - It was the FBI.
- Okay, so it was two Xboxes.
- Freeze, ladies.
- [ALL GASP.]
- Huh? - Whoa, hey.
- Look at you.
- Huh? What's up, y'all.
- Hey.
- [LAUGHS.]
First day as an officer in training.
Mm-hmm.
Now tell me, would you pull over if you saw all this coming at you in the rearview? Oh, I'd pay the ticket on the spot.
I mean, I'd run, but you'd catch me in five seconds.
Hear that? Getting real now, huh? Oh yeah, realer by the minute.
- What about sun block? - Nancy has the spray kind.
I guess if you can afford to go to Hawaii, you can afford the spray kind.
Don't eat just mac and cheese, okay? I know how to make at least two to five other dishes.
And set your alarm for work.
I am a fully functioning adult human.
- You're not good alone.
- I can take care of myself.
I mean, sometimes.
Okay, I love you, I'm going to miss you.
Have the best time, I promise I will not call unless it's an emergency.
- Okay.
- Okay? - All right.
- Okay, hey, love ya.
Love ya.
BOTH: Never put no one above ya! - Miss you, miss you, bye.
- Miss you, okay.
[SOFT MUSIC.]
Well, am-scray, I'm like, dying for some alone time.
- I love you so much, Mom.
- I love you, baby.
[KISSING NOISES.]
- Bye! - Bye! - [HIGHER PITCHES.]
- Bye! Bye! [GROANS.]
[SIGHS.]
All right, what if I just mark you down for like clean up or something? I'd really love to, I just don't have any time right now.
Oh, my God, what happened to your car? Oh, got Kenny a BB gun.
When did we start this service? Anyway, think about it, B.
I'll call you.
Okay.
What do you want? [FUNKY MUSIC.]
Careful with those snacks.
I don't want to spend my weekend cleaning up this car.
Yeah, I'm not sure I see the problem.
- You and me both, brother.
- Annie.
[SCOFFS.]
I just would like to take this moment to personally thank you for this opportunity.
I promise you, we're going to iron this out.
- We're going to make you proud.
- Okay, hold up, Annie.
Y'all asked for a piece of this.
Yes, we did, sir.
That's true.
That was before the FBI dropped by.
Okay, let's just calm down, sorry.
She just kind of does this, it's all part of the process.
What is that supposed to mean? Hmm, I don't know, you begged our parents for a piano, and they dropped three grand on a baby upright.
And guess who decides she'd rather play violin? I'm staying out of it.
It sounds like y'all got a lot to work out.
- So - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a second, don't you want to take your product? This ain't the Girl Scouts.
You can't give the cookies back.
Aren't you worried about the FBI? - Nah.
- See? There's a distribution system.
You've been distributed to.
What what does that mean? It means you're on the hook now.
- It's like, 100 grand.
- Oh, you don't got to wash it.
Then what do we do with it? Burn it, eat it, wipe your ass with it.
And then write me a check.
Because either way, I'm coming to collect.
Hey.
Guess who ended up taking the piano lessons? Six years.
It's gonna be fine.
[SOFT POP MUSIC.]
[CLEARS THROAT.]
[DOOR OPENS.]
What? Okay, the pins represent the stores with the biggest ticket items.
We've got blue for electronics, yellow for appliances Is this the same map you used for Black Friday? Yes, but I expanded it, because it is way too risky to shop locally right now.
Damn, you really upped your crafting game, Martha.
Hey, hey.
There is a system.
I am trying to keep us organized so that we don't get caught.
- Okay - What if they test the bills? I once saw a guy at 7/11 get straight up tased.
Well, at least he wasn't arrested.
And then he got arrested.
I used a security pen from work on one of the 20's.
We're not getting tased or arrested.
This cash is [KISSING NOISE.]
primo.
The red bands are the fake money.
So when you make a return, you put on a green band.
- And you keep it separate.
- Red goes out, green comes in.
Just like Christmas.
This is who we are now, huh? I mean desperate times.
We can do this.
We're just normal women, shopping.
With money to burn, baby! [JUNGLE'S "BUSY EARNIN'".]
All right, you saved $5.
21.
- Thanks a lot.
- Have a good one.
Next.
So you've come a long way - Find everything okay? - Yeah.
But you're never out late [SOFT LAUGH.]
[BEEP.]
It's crime Too busy earning Couldn't decide.
I see that.
$4,822.
38.
[MACHINE BEEPS, FLITTERS.]
Wha what's that? We have to check our large bills.
You guys don't use the pen thingy? No, not anymore.
Those never really worked.
You know what? I'm actually in a hurry.
- I'm just gonna come back.
- This will just take a second.
And I get it always So we just finished this major remodel, right? Tear the kitchen right down to the studs.
So I can buy all new appliances.
Fun, right? Only not fun, because the appliances don't match the counters, and now I gotta buy all new colors to try out.
First up was eggshell.
What the hell kind of color is eggshell? I'll tell you what kind.
It's white, just plain white.
So then I tried seashell, and I don't know if y'all have ever been to the sea and seen a shell.
You might need a vacation, but I assure you, that ain't it.
And don't even get me started on corn silk.
That is nonsense I need a manager to the front please.
Manager to the front.
[MACHINE TICKING.]
Is there a problem? You can't get enough [MACHINE TICKING.]
[BEEPING.]
Great.
Everything looks good.
You want your receipt in the bag? Uh, no, I'll hold onto it.
There you go.
You want all this back on a card? Cash is fine.
[BEEP.]
Too busy earning You can't get enough Just busy earning You can't get enough No Just busy earning You can't get enough - Did you get the verifier? - This shizz is good.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Do you play games? Uh, you know, I'm actually in the market for something more like a flat screen type deal.
Something kind of stupidly pricy.
Price doesn't always equal quality.
You're talking to an irresponsible millennial here.
Uh, well in that case, our 4K ultra high defs - are rated the best.
- Mmm.
But they run upwards of four grand, so.
- [WHISTLES.]
- Yeah, steep.
Ouch, well.
I guess I should only get four then.
Four.
TVs? What do you think, five? I don't know, I mean, are you messing with me? - [BOTH LAUGH.]
- No! Why would I be messing with you? Nobody that looks like you would ever be that good for my commission.
And what do I look like? Uh, you know, hot? Okay, man, you know what, you got this whole thing all wrong.
- Okay, you're not hot? - No, no, I'm hot, obviously.
I'm just serious about the TVs, I'm not messing with you.
Ringing up the hottie! [SOFT LAUGH.]
[GASPS.]
Okay, creeper.
You just getting home now? You don't have to wait up for me.
I'm surprised you can see straight with all these doubles you've been pulling.
I mean, it's hard to say no to the extra shifts.
- Yeah.
- How was rehearsal? Ah, Sara seemed a little tired.
- Is she okay? - She said she was.
Oh, by the way, our little girl, she's got my moves.
No, dude, she was like [GRUNTS.]
Ay, ay, ay, ay! Okay, if those are her moves, We need to take her off that dance team.
Oh, come on now.
You remember what it was.
[GROANS.]
I need to get off my feet.
- Oh, we could do that too.
- [SIGHS.]
Hey, hey, where where's your uniform? Oh, um, I left it at work.
It's covered in ketchup and frustration.
That's nasty.
- [BOTH LAUGH.]
- You don't even know.
I don't even care.
[VOCALIZING.]
- Oh, you, you want to - Come on, all right? - Oh, you didn't - Hey, oh.
BOTH: Oh! Yes.
19,685 bucks.
Okay.
[HUMMING SOFTLY.]
I'm going to need a receipt.
Okay, um I forgot to mention we offer in-home installation.
Oh, that's okay, I'm all set.
Are you sure? It's it's free.
Yeah, no, they're gifts, so I'm all set.
- If you change your mind - Mm-hmm.
"In-home hookup?" I've been waiting to use that line for years.
Well, I'm honored to be the chosen one.
Seriously, it's the only reason I took the job.
They don't give us overtime here.
Well, at least now you can quit.
[DOOR OPENS.]
- [CLEARS THROAT.]
- [DOOR SHUTS.]
[KEYS JINGLE.]
Hey.
What you doing? Just, uh, some reorganizing.
Here, let me help.
It's okay, I have a system.
Okay.
I I already fed the dog.
Oh okay.
Well, what can I do to help? - What do you mean? - Well, I'm back home.
So, you know, I want to be useful.
You should be resting.
No, I'm okay.
[REFRIGERATOR DOOR OPENS.]
- What did the doctor say? - [DOOR SHUTS.]
We'll know more after the appointment.
Whether it's going to be [DRINK POURS.]
chemotherapy, or radiation, or whatever.
[DOOR OPENS.]
Um You know, you could fill my car up with gas.
- Yeah, yay! - That would be nice.
Sorry, that was, uh, [STAMMERING.]
- It's okay.
- Just sort of forgot.
My keys are by the door.
Thanks.
[TENDER MUSIC.]
[SLAMS CUP.]
[EXHALES.]
[SCOFFS.]
[SALT N PEPA'S "NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS".]
What's the matter with your life Why you gotta mess with mine Don't keep sweating what I do Because I'm gonna be just fine, check it out If I want to take a guy home with me tonight It's none of your business And if she wanna be a freak and sell it on the weekend It's none of your business Now you shouldn't even get into Who I'm giving skins to It's none of your business So don't try to change my mind I tell you one more time It's none of your business So hold your tongue tightly, wish you could be like me Don't judge me, Rex.
Now you could get with that or you could get with this 'Cause really it's none of your business [DRAWER RATTLES.]
Hey.
What are you doing? I'm just gonna get a glass of water.
- Here, I'll get it for you.
- No, stay here, stay here.
[KISSES.]
I'll be right back.
Okay, well, never mind.
[DOOR OPENS.]
[DOOR CREAKS SHUT.]
Hello? Hey! Un-be-lievable.
Wow, real classy move, jackass! God! [SCOFFS.]
[DRAMATIC ROCK MUSIC.]
Oh, my God, oh, my God.
Oh, my God, no, no, no.
Oh, God.
- He stole your receipt? - I mean, he must have.
Because I've looked everywhere and it's gone.
Everywhere? Have you checked your pocket? What do you think I am, an idiot? Don't answer that.
Okay, well how much was it for? $20,000 worth of flat screens.
- Oh, my God.
- Who steals a receipt, anyway? Well, he wrote his number on it, so I guess he just didn't want me to call him again.
Isn't it in your phone? - Well, yeah, but - Like, who is this guy? Uh, Brad, or a Brian.
I'm picturing the nametag, and I feel like there was a "B" in there.
Look, Sadie is gone, okay? I was in a dark place.
Well call his shady ass and get it back.
I'm trying, homie.
He is ghosting me hard.
Wow, he sounds like a winner.
Yeah, I know, Beth.
I guess he got what he came for.
Okay.
- We will fix this.
- How? You can't do returns for cash without a receipt.
Okay, well I personally would love a solution that doesn't involve crawling back to Brad-Brian.
Like? Well, like, we could give Gang Friend the cash that we do have, and the flat screens.
Yeah, 'cause that went so well with the Hummels.
Nope, I value my life.
I am not going back to those lunatics short again.
- I very much agree.
- And can we please stop calling him Gang Friend? Okay, what's his name, then? R Ron? Yo, you see Ron cap that B? Okay, it's not Ron.
Rio.
- Okay.
- His name's Rio.
Oh, is his name Rio? So, I'm I'm sorry, but looks like we're gonna have to go find your - the guy.
- [GROANS.]
Could you be worse with names? All right.
Oh, uh, hi.
I am looking for a Brian or a Brad or a Brendan - in electronics.
- Brian.
He's not here today.
Okay, um I need you to give me his address.
Sorry, we can't give that out.
I just really need it, like, it's extremely important to me.
You could leave him a note, I think he works again next week.
Okay, well, by next week, our headless bodies will be badly decomposed, but thanks, anyway.
- Now what? - Hold this.
[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
I'm going to take you off the floor to inventory.
- Corporate wants it today.
- I was right in the middle I don't have the time, Rita.
And I'm going to need a current employee list.
Names, numbers, and addresses.
Mark asked for it an hour ago, and just between us, there are going to be some layoffs.
Who's Mark? Mark.
Ted's boss.
Hired Bill? Overhauled the entire division with Ed? Ed Fielding? What other Ed would I be talking about? - How long have you worked here? - 15 years.
Wow, Rita.
Uh, I am so sorry.
Just give me that list.
[SOFT LAUGH.]
- Big pimping! - It's like your superpower.
- Yow! - It's the clipboard.
Damn.
[SIGHS.]
[MUFFLED TV PLAYING.]
Brian! Hey, I was gonna call you back.
- Yeah, I'm so sure.
- I just got really busy.
Mmm, is that why you bailed in the middle of the night? Had to get cracking on that to-do list, huh? - Uh, who are they? - Don't you worry about it.
- Let's talk later.
- No.
- I need that receipt.
- What? The receipt that you wrote "in-home hookup" on.
- Ew, gross.
- Seriously.
- I know.
- I don't have it.
Well, go get it.
I threw it away and took out the trash, okay? It's gone.
Why? Why would you do that? Daddy.
Who is it, babe? Oh.
That's why.
I'm sorry.
Who are you? - Actually, uh - No, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, wrong apartment.
- But, hang on - Let's go.
- Who was that? - Nobody.
Ah, ah, ah, ah! - Is that it? - I don't know, I can't tell.
I need more light.
Here, can you shine the Ooh, I need glasses.
I can't see.
Dear God, please end this suffering.
Just give just give it to me.
All right, chill.
Huh? No, I think it's Starbucks.
- No! - Are you sure? Yeah, I can make out the word "macchiato" Plus, there's coffee grounds all over it.
[WHISPERING.]
That's not coffee grounds.
[SNICKERS.]
- This isn't funny! - Come on, it's a little funny.
We're in a dumpster because of you.
[LAUGHS.]
Wait, how is this on me? - How is this not on you? - [GASPS.]
[WHISPERING.]
There's a Band-Aid on my arm.
And it's not mine.
He stole my receipt.
I got played here.
No, you screwed a married guy.
How was I supposed to know that he was married? Maybe take one more minute of conversation before you drop your pants.
- Are you slut-shaming me? - I'm just plain shaming you.
You are on the wrong side of history, trust me.
Because once again, you made the smart, responsible decision.
You know, Beth, I'm really sorry, but it's not my problem that you haven't had sex since Emma was born, and it's all dried-up ass twigs in there.
[WHISPERING.]
Damn.
- You're a child.
- Right.
Yeah, I'm a child, and you're just, you're all about that responsibility lifestyle, right? That's why you just let that lying douchebag off the hook? What are you talking about? You could have busted his cheating ass.
But no, you didn't.
You let him get away with it.
I didn't let him get away with anything! That's exactly what you did, I just saw you! You think she doesn't know? The state of that woman's marriage was written all over her face.
We didn't have to tell her.
She already knows.
[RETCHES.]
[GROANS.]
Dirty diaper.
They do have a baby.
[WHISPERING.]
It's adult.
Found it.
Oh, God.
It's just, um underneath his kid's artwork.
[WHISPERING.]
Okay.
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
[DARK DARK DARK'S "DAYDREAMING".]
Take off your shoes, Mommy.
You'll bring in dirt.
Think of a place that I would go Shh.
[KISSES.]
I'm daydreaming Of where the sycamore grow I'm daydreaming And oh, if you knew what it meant to me Where the air was so clear Morning, Mrs.
Boland.
- Hi.
- I didn't mean to scare you.
No, no, I just haven't had my morning coffee.
- Mom! - Yeah, hold on just one sec.
Is your husband home? - No, he's already at work.
- He's an early bird.
Why, is there a big break in the dog poop case? [LAUGHS.]
Yeah, right.
Because I'm sure he'd wear a wire if you needed him to.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Actually, it's you that I wanted to see.
Oh, why's that? - Mom, come on! - Yeah, hold on, hold on.
Do you know this guy? Uh, no.
This is your house, right? Yes.
But you've never seen this guy? Because see, from this angle here, it seems like maybe he's coming right out your front door.
No, no.
Huh, okay, well.
I'll swing by later and show it to your husband, too.
When's the big guy home from work? Please don't do that.
Why not? I can't talk about it right now.
Mom, we're gonna be late! Not in front of my kids.
Then I think you should come by my office.
- Uh, okay, tomorrow's okay? - Today's better.
Okay.
- Go Red Wings! - Yeah! [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC.]
What are you looking at? Hey, hey, hey, wash your hands! Animal.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Hey, did it start yet? My baby's performing.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
What's going on? Excuse me, excuse me.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Stan! Your daughter had a seizure.
She was doing so much better, I don't understand.
Her kidney's basically non-functioning at this point.
Oh, my God.
- How does this even happen? - We're not sure.
But let's start dialysis and get her stabilized.
- And then what? - We'll run some tests.
Try to get you all more answers.
Now, you said Sara was taking Eculizumab? - She was doing great on it.
- You watch her take it? - Every night.
- You see her swallow? [TENSE MUSIC.]
[PILLS RATTLE.]
Ruby.
[PILLS RATTLING.]
[SIGHS.]
- So what do I say? - To whom? The FBI.
What do I tell them? - They ain't got nothing.
- They've got a picture of you.
That ain't special.
I'm on Facebook, too.
Your cut.
Wait, wait, wait.
Listen.
In my line of work, If you don't have the FBI on your back, you ain't making noise.
I don't want to make noise.
They're gonna want to know what someone like me is doing with someone like you.
What are you doing with someone like me? Well, obviously, I can't tell them that.
Right, right.
All right, so tell them I was hitting it.
What? Oh, sorry, sweetheart.
Tell them we're making love.
I how do I even say that? [LAUGHS.]
You'll think of something.
Make me sound good though, yeah? [CAR DOOR SHUTS.]
[SOFT SCOFF.]
I was feeling better.
So I was saving it until I needed it again.
That's not how medicine works, baby Yeah, I thought you were supposed to be honor roll here.
Now we're going to have to take that bumper sticker off.
[SOFT LAUGH.]
I wanted to try and help you guys out.
Help us out with what? Like, money and stuff.
I know we can't afford it.
Well there's something you don't know.
Should we tell her? I don't know, you think she can handle it? The truth is we are stinking rich.
I'm talking stacks on stacks on stacks, loaded.
We are rolling in it.
And the truth, my dear, is that you are wait for it royalty.
Mm-hmm We didn't want you to grow up spoiled.
That's why we kept it on the DL.
- Mm-hmm.
- This is like a bad movie.
It's why we bought the tiniest, cheapest house we could find.
Oh oh okay.
Hold it's not that bad.
Oh, and that explains the car.
- Exactly.
- Wait a second.
- What's wrong with my car? - And the food.
- Now that makes sense.
- Hey, watch yourself.
[GENTLE MUSIC.]
Baby, don't worry about us.
Just go to school, and play, and be a kid.
That's it.
And swallow your damn pills from now on, okay? Okay, Mommy.
All the stuff you think you're keeping from them? You're not.
- Don't go there.
- [SIGHS.]
I mean, I'm not going to say that I'm a bad mother Oh, she's going there.
I could have paid more attention.
You do the best you can.
[SNIFFS.]
[SNIFFS.]
Those better be doughnuts.
Do not come at me with some wack-ass cheese Danish.
[SOFT MUSIC.]
Those aren't doughnuts.
It's everything, it's our whole cut.
We knew you'd need it for the hospital bill.
We don't want you to even think about it, okay? And messed up my damn face.
It was already pretty messed up.
- I hate you guys.
- We know.
So, have you already discussed the comment - about the twigs and the - Ah, yes.
Yes, we we had a discussion about it.
- Man, I missed it? - Mm-hmm.
I was the bigger man, I apologized.
Yeah, sort of.
Well, I said it wasn't my finest moment.
You also said it could have been way worse.
Yeah, because I wanted to say "raisin cave.
" - But I restrained myself.
- What does that even mean? Uh, I think I know.
And it is not an apology.
[LAUGHS.]
What you want from me, blood? Please.
[WHEEZING LAUGHING.]
Raisin cave.
[LAUGHING.]
I mean Oh, my God! [ALL LAUGHING.]
- Hi.
- Can I help you? Yeah, I'd like to fill out one of those customer complaint cards.
It's about my recent in-home hookup.
Oh, a comment card.
Well, all my comments are complaints, - but call it what you want to.
- Absolutely, no problem.
Overall, how happy were you with your service? Un.
Very unhappy.
Uh, one through ten? - Mmm, like a negative six.
- Absolutely, no problem.
And was your service performed in a timely manner? If by timely, you mean like a little woodpecker, - then yeah.
- Absolutely, no problem.
Was the job completed to your satisfaction? Uh, no, I was definitely not satisfied.
- He didn't finish? - Oh, he finished.
I am so sorry about your experience.
We take our customer feedback very seriously.
Now, how seriously is that? Do you dock people's pay? - I - Do you fire them? Because I'd hate to see that happen.
If the situation were extreme enough, certainly.
You didn't happen to catch your technician's name? You know, he just wasn't that memorable.
He kinda had, like like, a mini dad bod.
And he smelled like, hmm, it's hard to describe.
Have you ever been to a zoo in the rain? - Mm-mm.
- Oh! There he is.
- Wait, you're Nicole? - Mm-hmm.
He actually talked a lot of smack about you, too.
Just saying.
[DOOR OPENS.]
- Hey.
- [DOOR SHUTS.]
Oh, wow, you cooked? Yeah, I watched that Rachel Ray show.
There's something wrong with that woman.
- She's like, so happy.
- I know, it's really weird.
Yeah, hey, do you want me to heat up your plate? Sara's in the hospital again.
I'm going to shower and then head back there.
All right, hey, Beth.
I'm really, really trying here.
I know.
You think I could fix it? I think it's going to take more than filling up the car and Rachel Ray.
Right.
If it never happened.
You know, Amber, the money.
Would you still be with me? I don't even know how to answer that.
I think you just did.
Mrs.
Boland, can I get you anything? Coffee? Oh, uh, you drink coffee at this hour? I don't sleep much anyway.
You? I had an affair.
You had an affair.
I'm not proud of it, and it's over now.
But that's why he was at the house, and that's why I couldn't say anything in front of my husband and my children.
Oh.
Well.
Okay, then.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Just out of curiosity, where'd you meet him? I'm just wondering where a nice lady like you meets an inner-city gangbanger.
PTA? Or is it like, a speed dating thing? What's that website, It's Just Lunch? - At a bar.
- What was he wearing? - Jeans.
- What about you? - A dress.
- Where'd you meet him? - At a restaurant.
- You just said bar.
A bar-restaurant.
They had food.
What was the name? Lucky's.
Bet they'd remember a pair like you.
Who drove? - You or him, who drove? - Um, we both did.
What kind of car does he drive? Black BMW.
It'd be registered, I'll check it.
- It might be a Cadillac.
- Maybe.
Have a good night, Mrs.
Boland.
[KEYS CLACKING.]
It was a one-night stand.
I had just found out that my husband was cheating on me with a child.
More or less.
And I was lonely, and angry.
And normally, sleeping with a complete stranger would repulse me.
But it didn't that day.
I dropped the kids off at school, and I went straight to the bar.
Where was your husband? Screwing his secretary and losing all our money.
Fair enough.
We drank a little.
And I invited him back to my house.
We drank a little more.
And then I realized that what I was doing was insane.
And I told him to go.
And he kissed me.
I kissed him back.
He pulled my panties down, and we screwed right on the kitchen table, on the breakfast dishes.
The kids had pancakes.
Blueberry.
If you were wondering.
[PHANTOGRAM'S "CRUEL WORLD".]
It only happened once.
And I've never seen that man again.
And I don't plan to.
I'm putting you out of your misery Thank you for coming in.
'Cause darling you're dragging me down Mrs.
Boland? I wish I could say that I'm sorry Just be careful who you bring into your home.
I'm tougher than I look.
It's a cruel cruel world
He wants us to pick something up for him in Canada.
It's just wrapping paper.
We have a business proposition to clean your fake money.
- What are you proposing? - Let us do it, right here.
Fake money in, real money out.
[WHISPERING.]
What do you want? - You can't just walk in here.
- The door was open.
Beth, who's your new friend? Is he the reason you're not wearing your ring? Oh, my God.
I want you out.
- What? - Yeah, I want you gone now.
I have cancer.
Agent Turner, I saw this guy.
Okay, he was with the three of them before, and I saw him again yesterday.
Whatever they're into, he is involved.
Hi, I'm looking for Mrs.
Boland.
- Can I help you? - I'm hoping you can.
- Cute kids.
- Aw, thanks, we like them.
Yeah, most of the time.
And how's the neighborhood treating you? - Pretty quiet, mostly, or? - Is something going on? Oh, just some ugliness bleeding in from the city.
- We try to stay on top of it.
- Well, that sounds scary.
Yeah, you guys seen anything weird? Like what? You know, people that don't quite go with the vibe here.
Actually, I have.
That guy, the, um, the the guy.
Question, is it illegal to throw dog poop into other people's trash bins? Because we have this guy in the neighborhood, who, uh it's probably not FBI jurisdiction.
I'm guessing not.
Those are government bins, right? - So - [CHUCKLES.]
Let me know if you see anything out of the ordinary.
Copy that, we will be your eyes and ears.
Yes.
And thank you, Agent Turner.
Jimmy.
Yeah, I'll show you out.
So yeah, this guy, he walks his dog, - and he's like a great Dane - Mm-hmm.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
We shouldn't do it.
What do you mean we shouldn't do it? I mean we shouldn't clean a bunch of counterfeit money when the FBI is on our trail.
It was your idea! Can you all keep it down please? Look, they're not on our trail, okay? - He was in my kitchen.
- Stan is in my bedroom.
If the guy knew anything, he would have just said it.
He gave his card to me, and not to Dean.
Well, maybe he didn't know if Dean could read.
Look, I got fancy lawyer bills coming out the wazoo, dawg! I talked to her for 15 minutes, it cost me 800 dollars! You know how much a criminal lawyer costs? I need this payday; we didn't get the last one.
We all need it.
But let's not be stupid about it.
What's stupid is if we screw this up.
Because Gang Friend is not going to give us another shot.
Gang friend? Probably some teenagers, like, stole an Xbox or something.
- I promise you, it was nothing.
- It wasn't nothing! - It was the FBI.
- Okay, so it was two Xboxes.
- Freeze, ladies.
- [ALL GASP.]
- Huh? - Whoa, hey.
- Look at you.
- Huh? What's up, y'all.
- Hey.
- [LAUGHS.]
First day as an officer in training.
Mm-hmm.
Now tell me, would you pull over if you saw all this coming at you in the rearview? Oh, I'd pay the ticket on the spot.
I mean, I'd run, but you'd catch me in five seconds.
Hear that? Getting real now, huh? Oh yeah, realer by the minute.
- What about sun block? - Nancy has the spray kind.
I guess if you can afford to go to Hawaii, you can afford the spray kind.
Don't eat just mac and cheese, okay? I know how to make at least two to five other dishes.
And set your alarm for work.
I am a fully functioning adult human.
- You're not good alone.
- I can take care of myself.
I mean, sometimes.
Okay, I love you, I'm going to miss you.
Have the best time, I promise I will not call unless it's an emergency.
- Okay.
- Okay? - All right.
- Okay, hey, love ya.
Love ya.
BOTH: Never put no one above ya! - Miss you, miss you, bye.
- Miss you, okay.
[SOFT MUSIC.]
Well, am-scray, I'm like, dying for some alone time.
- I love you so much, Mom.
- I love you, baby.
[KISSING NOISES.]
- Bye! - Bye! - [HIGHER PITCHES.]
- Bye! Bye! [GROANS.]
[SIGHS.]
All right, what if I just mark you down for like clean up or something? I'd really love to, I just don't have any time right now.
Oh, my God, what happened to your car? Oh, got Kenny a BB gun.
When did we start this service? Anyway, think about it, B.
I'll call you.
Okay.
What do you want? [FUNKY MUSIC.]
Careful with those snacks.
I don't want to spend my weekend cleaning up this car.
Yeah, I'm not sure I see the problem.
- You and me both, brother.
- Annie.
[SCOFFS.]
I just would like to take this moment to personally thank you for this opportunity.
I promise you, we're going to iron this out.
- We're going to make you proud.
- Okay, hold up, Annie.
Y'all asked for a piece of this.
Yes, we did, sir.
That's true.
That was before the FBI dropped by.
Okay, let's just calm down, sorry.
She just kind of does this, it's all part of the process.
What is that supposed to mean? Hmm, I don't know, you begged our parents for a piano, and they dropped three grand on a baby upright.
And guess who decides she'd rather play violin? I'm staying out of it.
It sounds like y'all got a lot to work out.
- So - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a second, don't you want to take your product? This ain't the Girl Scouts.
You can't give the cookies back.
Aren't you worried about the FBI? - Nah.
- See? There's a distribution system.
You've been distributed to.
What what does that mean? It means you're on the hook now.
- It's like, 100 grand.
- Oh, you don't got to wash it.
Then what do we do with it? Burn it, eat it, wipe your ass with it.
And then write me a check.
Because either way, I'm coming to collect.
Hey.
Guess who ended up taking the piano lessons? Six years.
It's gonna be fine.
[SOFT POP MUSIC.]
[CLEARS THROAT.]
[DOOR OPENS.]
What? Okay, the pins represent the stores with the biggest ticket items.
We've got blue for electronics, yellow for appliances Is this the same map you used for Black Friday? Yes, but I expanded it, because it is way too risky to shop locally right now.
Damn, you really upped your crafting game, Martha.
Hey, hey.
There is a system.
I am trying to keep us organized so that we don't get caught.
- Okay - What if they test the bills? I once saw a guy at 7/11 get straight up tased.
Well, at least he wasn't arrested.
And then he got arrested.
I used a security pen from work on one of the 20's.
We're not getting tased or arrested.
This cash is [KISSING NOISE.]
primo.
The red bands are the fake money.
So when you make a return, you put on a green band.
- And you keep it separate.
- Red goes out, green comes in.
Just like Christmas.
This is who we are now, huh? I mean desperate times.
We can do this.
We're just normal women, shopping.
With money to burn, baby! [JUNGLE'S "BUSY EARNIN'".]
All right, you saved $5.
21.
- Thanks a lot.
- Have a good one.
Next.
So you've come a long way - Find everything okay? - Yeah.
But you're never out late [SOFT LAUGH.]
[BEEP.]
It's crime Too busy earning Couldn't decide.
I see that.
$4,822.
38.
[MACHINE BEEPS, FLITTERS.]
Wha what's that? We have to check our large bills.
You guys don't use the pen thingy? No, not anymore.
Those never really worked.
You know what? I'm actually in a hurry.
- I'm just gonna come back.
- This will just take a second.
And I get it always So we just finished this major remodel, right? Tear the kitchen right down to the studs.
So I can buy all new appliances.
Fun, right? Only not fun, because the appliances don't match the counters, and now I gotta buy all new colors to try out.
First up was eggshell.
What the hell kind of color is eggshell? I'll tell you what kind.
It's white, just plain white.
So then I tried seashell, and I don't know if y'all have ever been to the sea and seen a shell.
You might need a vacation, but I assure you, that ain't it.
And don't even get me started on corn silk.
That is nonsense I need a manager to the front please.
Manager to the front.
[MACHINE TICKING.]
Is there a problem? You can't get enough [MACHINE TICKING.]
[BEEPING.]
Great.
Everything looks good.
You want your receipt in the bag? Uh, no, I'll hold onto it.
There you go.
You want all this back on a card? Cash is fine.
[BEEP.]
Too busy earning You can't get enough Just busy earning You can't get enough No Just busy earning You can't get enough - Did you get the verifier? - This shizz is good.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Do you play games? Uh, you know, I'm actually in the market for something more like a flat screen type deal.
Something kind of stupidly pricy.
Price doesn't always equal quality.
You're talking to an irresponsible millennial here.
Uh, well in that case, our 4K ultra high defs - are rated the best.
- Mmm.
But they run upwards of four grand, so.
- [WHISTLES.]
- Yeah, steep.
Ouch, well.
I guess I should only get four then.
Four.
TVs? What do you think, five? I don't know, I mean, are you messing with me? - [BOTH LAUGH.]
- No! Why would I be messing with you? Nobody that looks like you would ever be that good for my commission.
And what do I look like? Uh, you know, hot? Okay, man, you know what, you got this whole thing all wrong.
- Okay, you're not hot? - No, no, I'm hot, obviously.
I'm just serious about the TVs, I'm not messing with you.
Ringing up the hottie! [SOFT LAUGH.]
[GASPS.]
Okay, creeper.
You just getting home now? You don't have to wait up for me.
I'm surprised you can see straight with all these doubles you've been pulling.
I mean, it's hard to say no to the extra shifts.
- Yeah.
- How was rehearsal? Ah, Sara seemed a little tired.
- Is she okay? - She said she was.
Oh, by the way, our little girl, she's got my moves.
No, dude, she was like [GRUNTS.]
Ay, ay, ay, ay! Okay, if those are her moves, We need to take her off that dance team.
Oh, come on now.
You remember what it was.
[GROANS.]
I need to get off my feet.
- Oh, we could do that too.
- [SIGHS.]
Hey, hey, where where's your uniform? Oh, um, I left it at work.
It's covered in ketchup and frustration.
That's nasty.
- [BOTH LAUGH.]
- You don't even know.
I don't even care.
[VOCALIZING.]
- Oh, you, you want to - Come on, all right? - Oh, you didn't - Hey, oh.
BOTH: Oh! Yes.
19,685 bucks.
Okay.
[HUMMING SOFTLY.]
I'm going to need a receipt.
Okay, um I forgot to mention we offer in-home installation.
Oh, that's okay, I'm all set.
Are you sure? It's it's free.
Yeah, no, they're gifts, so I'm all set.
- If you change your mind - Mm-hmm.
"In-home hookup?" I've been waiting to use that line for years.
Well, I'm honored to be the chosen one.
Seriously, it's the only reason I took the job.
They don't give us overtime here.
Well, at least now you can quit.
[DOOR OPENS.]
- [CLEARS THROAT.]
- [DOOR SHUTS.]
[KEYS JINGLE.]
Hey.
What you doing? Just, uh, some reorganizing.
Here, let me help.
It's okay, I have a system.
Okay.
I I already fed the dog.
Oh okay.
Well, what can I do to help? - What do you mean? - Well, I'm back home.
So, you know, I want to be useful.
You should be resting.
No, I'm okay.
[REFRIGERATOR DOOR OPENS.]
- What did the doctor say? - [DOOR SHUTS.]
We'll know more after the appointment.
Whether it's going to be [DRINK POURS.]
chemotherapy, or radiation, or whatever.
[DOOR OPENS.]
Um You know, you could fill my car up with gas.
- Yeah, yay! - That would be nice.
Sorry, that was, uh, [STAMMERING.]
- It's okay.
- Just sort of forgot.
My keys are by the door.
Thanks.
[TENDER MUSIC.]
[SLAMS CUP.]
[EXHALES.]
[SCOFFS.]
[SALT N PEPA'S "NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS".]
What's the matter with your life Why you gotta mess with mine Don't keep sweating what I do Because I'm gonna be just fine, check it out If I want to take a guy home with me tonight It's none of your business And if she wanna be a freak and sell it on the weekend It's none of your business Now you shouldn't even get into Who I'm giving skins to It's none of your business So don't try to change my mind I tell you one more time It's none of your business So hold your tongue tightly, wish you could be like me Don't judge me, Rex.
Now you could get with that or you could get with this 'Cause really it's none of your business [DRAWER RATTLES.]
Hey.
What are you doing? I'm just gonna get a glass of water.
- Here, I'll get it for you.
- No, stay here, stay here.
[KISSES.]
I'll be right back.
Okay, well, never mind.
[DOOR OPENS.]
[DOOR CREAKS SHUT.]
Hello? Hey! Un-be-lievable.
Wow, real classy move, jackass! God! [SCOFFS.]
[DRAMATIC ROCK MUSIC.]
Oh, my God, oh, my God.
Oh, my God, no, no, no.
Oh, God.
- He stole your receipt? - I mean, he must have.
Because I've looked everywhere and it's gone.
Everywhere? Have you checked your pocket? What do you think I am, an idiot? Don't answer that.
Okay, well how much was it for? $20,000 worth of flat screens.
- Oh, my God.
- Who steals a receipt, anyway? Well, he wrote his number on it, so I guess he just didn't want me to call him again.
Isn't it in your phone? - Well, yeah, but - Like, who is this guy? Uh, Brad, or a Brian.
I'm picturing the nametag, and I feel like there was a "B" in there.
Look, Sadie is gone, okay? I was in a dark place.
Well call his shady ass and get it back.
I'm trying, homie.
He is ghosting me hard.
Wow, he sounds like a winner.
Yeah, I know, Beth.
I guess he got what he came for.
Okay.
- We will fix this.
- How? You can't do returns for cash without a receipt.
Okay, well I personally would love a solution that doesn't involve crawling back to Brad-Brian.
Like? Well, like, we could give Gang Friend the cash that we do have, and the flat screens.
Yeah, 'cause that went so well with the Hummels.
Nope, I value my life.
I am not going back to those lunatics short again.
- I very much agree.
- And can we please stop calling him Gang Friend? Okay, what's his name, then? R Ron? Yo, you see Ron cap that B? Okay, it's not Ron.
Rio.
- Okay.
- His name's Rio.
Oh, is his name Rio? So, I'm I'm sorry, but looks like we're gonna have to go find your - the guy.
- [GROANS.]
Could you be worse with names? All right.
Oh, uh, hi.
I am looking for a Brian or a Brad or a Brendan - in electronics.
- Brian.
He's not here today.
Okay, um I need you to give me his address.
Sorry, we can't give that out.
I just really need it, like, it's extremely important to me.
You could leave him a note, I think he works again next week.
Okay, well, by next week, our headless bodies will be badly decomposed, but thanks, anyway.
- Now what? - Hold this.
[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
I'm going to take you off the floor to inventory.
- Corporate wants it today.
- I was right in the middle I don't have the time, Rita.
And I'm going to need a current employee list.
Names, numbers, and addresses.
Mark asked for it an hour ago, and just between us, there are going to be some layoffs.
Who's Mark? Mark.
Ted's boss.
Hired Bill? Overhauled the entire division with Ed? Ed Fielding? What other Ed would I be talking about? - How long have you worked here? - 15 years.
Wow, Rita.
Uh, I am so sorry.
Just give me that list.
[SOFT LAUGH.]
- Big pimping! - It's like your superpower.
- Yow! - It's the clipboard.
Damn.
[SIGHS.]
[MUFFLED TV PLAYING.]
Brian! Hey, I was gonna call you back.
- Yeah, I'm so sure.
- I just got really busy.
Mmm, is that why you bailed in the middle of the night? Had to get cracking on that to-do list, huh? - Uh, who are they? - Don't you worry about it.
- Let's talk later.
- No.
- I need that receipt.
- What? The receipt that you wrote "in-home hookup" on.
- Ew, gross.
- Seriously.
- I know.
- I don't have it.
Well, go get it.
I threw it away and took out the trash, okay? It's gone.
Why? Why would you do that? Daddy.
Who is it, babe? Oh.
That's why.
I'm sorry.
Who are you? - Actually, uh - No, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, wrong apartment.
- But, hang on - Let's go.
- Who was that? - Nobody.
Ah, ah, ah, ah! - Is that it? - I don't know, I can't tell.
I need more light.
Here, can you shine the Ooh, I need glasses.
I can't see.
Dear God, please end this suffering.
Just give just give it to me.
All right, chill.
Huh? No, I think it's Starbucks.
- No! - Are you sure? Yeah, I can make out the word "macchiato" Plus, there's coffee grounds all over it.
[WHISPERING.]
That's not coffee grounds.
[SNICKERS.]
- This isn't funny! - Come on, it's a little funny.
We're in a dumpster because of you.
[LAUGHS.]
Wait, how is this on me? - How is this not on you? - [GASPS.]
[WHISPERING.]
There's a Band-Aid on my arm.
And it's not mine.
He stole my receipt.
I got played here.
No, you screwed a married guy.
How was I supposed to know that he was married? Maybe take one more minute of conversation before you drop your pants.
- Are you slut-shaming me? - I'm just plain shaming you.
You are on the wrong side of history, trust me.
Because once again, you made the smart, responsible decision.
You know, Beth, I'm really sorry, but it's not my problem that you haven't had sex since Emma was born, and it's all dried-up ass twigs in there.
[WHISPERING.]
Damn.
- You're a child.
- Right.
Yeah, I'm a child, and you're just, you're all about that responsibility lifestyle, right? That's why you just let that lying douchebag off the hook? What are you talking about? You could have busted his cheating ass.
But no, you didn't.
You let him get away with it.
I didn't let him get away with anything! That's exactly what you did, I just saw you! You think she doesn't know? The state of that woman's marriage was written all over her face.
We didn't have to tell her.
She already knows.
[RETCHES.]
[GROANS.]
Dirty diaper.
They do have a baby.
[WHISPERING.]
It's adult.
Found it.
Oh, God.
It's just, um underneath his kid's artwork.
[WHISPERING.]
Okay.
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
[DARK DARK DARK'S "DAYDREAMING".]
Take off your shoes, Mommy.
You'll bring in dirt.
Think of a place that I would go Shh.
[KISSES.]
I'm daydreaming Of where the sycamore grow I'm daydreaming And oh, if you knew what it meant to me Where the air was so clear Morning, Mrs.
Boland.
- Hi.
- I didn't mean to scare you.
No, no, I just haven't had my morning coffee.
- Mom! - Yeah, hold on just one sec.
Is your husband home? - No, he's already at work.
- He's an early bird.
Why, is there a big break in the dog poop case? [LAUGHS.]
Yeah, right.
Because I'm sure he'd wear a wire if you needed him to.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Actually, it's you that I wanted to see.
Oh, why's that? - Mom, come on! - Yeah, hold on, hold on.
Do you know this guy? Uh, no.
This is your house, right? Yes.
But you've never seen this guy? Because see, from this angle here, it seems like maybe he's coming right out your front door.
No, no.
Huh, okay, well.
I'll swing by later and show it to your husband, too.
When's the big guy home from work? Please don't do that.
Why not? I can't talk about it right now.
Mom, we're gonna be late! Not in front of my kids.
Then I think you should come by my office.
- Uh, okay, tomorrow's okay? - Today's better.
Okay.
- Go Red Wings! - Yeah! [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC.]
What are you looking at? Hey, hey, hey, wash your hands! Animal.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Hey, did it start yet? My baby's performing.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
What's going on? Excuse me, excuse me.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Stan! Your daughter had a seizure.
She was doing so much better, I don't understand.
Her kidney's basically non-functioning at this point.
Oh, my God.
- How does this even happen? - We're not sure.
But let's start dialysis and get her stabilized.
- And then what? - We'll run some tests.
Try to get you all more answers.
Now, you said Sara was taking Eculizumab? - She was doing great on it.
- You watch her take it? - Every night.
- You see her swallow? [TENSE MUSIC.]
[PILLS RATTLE.]
Ruby.
[PILLS RATTLING.]
[SIGHS.]
- So what do I say? - To whom? The FBI.
What do I tell them? - They ain't got nothing.
- They've got a picture of you.
That ain't special.
I'm on Facebook, too.
Your cut.
Wait, wait, wait.
Listen.
In my line of work, If you don't have the FBI on your back, you ain't making noise.
I don't want to make noise.
They're gonna want to know what someone like me is doing with someone like you.
What are you doing with someone like me? Well, obviously, I can't tell them that.
Right, right.
All right, so tell them I was hitting it.
What? Oh, sorry, sweetheart.
Tell them we're making love.
I how do I even say that? [LAUGHS.]
You'll think of something.
Make me sound good though, yeah? [CAR DOOR SHUTS.]
[SOFT SCOFF.]
I was feeling better.
So I was saving it until I needed it again.
That's not how medicine works, baby Yeah, I thought you were supposed to be honor roll here.
Now we're going to have to take that bumper sticker off.
[SOFT LAUGH.]
I wanted to try and help you guys out.
Help us out with what? Like, money and stuff.
I know we can't afford it.
Well there's something you don't know.
Should we tell her? I don't know, you think she can handle it? The truth is we are stinking rich.
I'm talking stacks on stacks on stacks, loaded.
We are rolling in it.
And the truth, my dear, is that you are wait for it royalty.
Mm-hmm We didn't want you to grow up spoiled.
That's why we kept it on the DL.
- Mm-hmm.
- This is like a bad movie.
It's why we bought the tiniest, cheapest house we could find.
Oh oh okay.
Hold it's not that bad.
Oh, and that explains the car.
- Exactly.
- Wait a second.
- What's wrong with my car? - And the food.
- Now that makes sense.
- Hey, watch yourself.
[GENTLE MUSIC.]
Baby, don't worry about us.
Just go to school, and play, and be a kid.
That's it.
And swallow your damn pills from now on, okay? Okay, Mommy.
All the stuff you think you're keeping from them? You're not.
- Don't go there.
- [SIGHS.]
I mean, I'm not going to say that I'm a bad mother Oh, she's going there.
I could have paid more attention.
You do the best you can.
[SNIFFS.]
[SNIFFS.]
Those better be doughnuts.
Do not come at me with some wack-ass cheese Danish.
[SOFT MUSIC.]
Those aren't doughnuts.
It's everything, it's our whole cut.
We knew you'd need it for the hospital bill.
We don't want you to even think about it, okay? And messed up my damn face.
It was already pretty messed up.
- I hate you guys.
- We know.
So, have you already discussed the comment - about the twigs and the - Ah, yes.
Yes, we we had a discussion about it.
- Man, I missed it? - Mm-hmm.
I was the bigger man, I apologized.
Yeah, sort of.
Well, I said it wasn't my finest moment.
You also said it could have been way worse.
Yeah, because I wanted to say "raisin cave.
" - But I restrained myself.
- What does that even mean? Uh, I think I know.
And it is not an apology.
[LAUGHS.]
What you want from me, blood? Please.
[WHEEZING LAUGHING.]
Raisin cave.
[LAUGHING.]
I mean Oh, my God! [ALL LAUGHING.]
- Hi.
- Can I help you? Yeah, I'd like to fill out one of those customer complaint cards.
It's about my recent in-home hookup.
Oh, a comment card.
Well, all my comments are complaints, - but call it what you want to.
- Absolutely, no problem.
Overall, how happy were you with your service? Un.
Very unhappy.
Uh, one through ten? - Mmm, like a negative six.
- Absolutely, no problem.
And was your service performed in a timely manner? If by timely, you mean like a little woodpecker, - then yeah.
- Absolutely, no problem.
Was the job completed to your satisfaction? Uh, no, I was definitely not satisfied.
- He didn't finish? - Oh, he finished.
I am so sorry about your experience.
We take our customer feedback very seriously.
Now, how seriously is that? Do you dock people's pay? - I - Do you fire them? Because I'd hate to see that happen.
If the situation were extreme enough, certainly.
You didn't happen to catch your technician's name? You know, he just wasn't that memorable.
He kinda had, like like, a mini dad bod.
And he smelled like, hmm, it's hard to describe.
Have you ever been to a zoo in the rain? - Mm-mm.
- Oh! There he is.
- Wait, you're Nicole? - Mm-hmm.
He actually talked a lot of smack about you, too.
Just saying.
[DOOR OPENS.]
- Hey.
- [DOOR SHUTS.]
Oh, wow, you cooked? Yeah, I watched that Rachel Ray show.
There's something wrong with that woman.
- She's like, so happy.
- I know, it's really weird.
Yeah, hey, do you want me to heat up your plate? Sara's in the hospital again.
I'm going to shower and then head back there.
All right, hey, Beth.
I'm really, really trying here.
I know.
You think I could fix it? I think it's going to take more than filling up the car and Rachel Ray.
Right.
If it never happened.
You know, Amber, the money.
Would you still be with me? I don't even know how to answer that.
I think you just did.
Mrs.
Boland, can I get you anything? Coffee? Oh, uh, you drink coffee at this hour? I don't sleep much anyway.
You? I had an affair.
You had an affair.
I'm not proud of it, and it's over now.
But that's why he was at the house, and that's why I couldn't say anything in front of my husband and my children.
Oh.
Well.
Okay, then.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Just out of curiosity, where'd you meet him? I'm just wondering where a nice lady like you meets an inner-city gangbanger.
PTA? Or is it like, a speed dating thing? What's that website, It's Just Lunch? - At a bar.
- What was he wearing? - Jeans.
- What about you? - A dress.
- Where'd you meet him? - At a restaurant.
- You just said bar.
A bar-restaurant.
They had food.
What was the name? Lucky's.
Bet they'd remember a pair like you.
Who drove? - You or him, who drove? - Um, we both did.
What kind of car does he drive? Black BMW.
It'd be registered, I'll check it.
- It might be a Cadillac.
- Maybe.
Have a good night, Mrs.
Boland.
[KEYS CLACKING.]
It was a one-night stand.
I had just found out that my husband was cheating on me with a child.
More or less.
And I was lonely, and angry.
And normally, sleeping with a complete stranger would repulse me.
But it didn't that day.
I dropped the kids off at school, and I went straight to the bar.
Where was your husband? Screwing his secretary and losing all our money.
Fair enough.
We drank a little.
And I invited him back to my house.
We drank a little more.
And then I realized that what I was doing was insane.
And I told him to go.
And he kissed me.
I kissed him back.
He pulled my panties down, and we screwed right on the kitchen table, on the breakfast dishes.
The kids had pancakes.
Blueberry.
If you were wondering.
[PHANTOGRAM'S "CRUEL WORLD".]
It only happened once.
And I've never seen that man again.
And I don't plan to.
I'm putting you out of your misery Thank you for coming in.
'Cause darling you're dragging me down Mrs.
Boland? I wish I could say that I'm sorry Just be careful who you bring into your home.
I'm tougher than I look.
It's a cruel cruel world