Gypsy (2017) s01e05 Episode Script
The Commune
1 ["Gypsy" by Stevie Nicks.]
So I'm back to the velvet Ooh, underground Back to the floor That I love To a room With some lace some paper flowers Back to the gypsy That I was To the gypsy That remains Faces freedom With a little bit of fear I have no fear I have only love But she was just a wish She was just a wish And lightning struck only once And your gypsy Your gypsy [keyboard clacking.]
[elevator bell dings.]
[elevator door opens.]
[pig squeals on tablet.]
[dramatic music on tablet.]
[message chimes.]
[Dolly groans.]
Dad, it's doing it again.
Oh, come on.
I thought I fixed it! - [Dolly.]
Who's Alexis? - That's my assistant.
- Why do you need an assistant? - She helps me with my work.
I want an assistant.
[chuckles.]
Finish your cereal first, silly.
Honey, if we're gonna go together, we need to go.
[Michael.]
Honey, come on.
[Jean.]
Yeah, I'm just getting dressed.
I'll be down in a second.
[Jean.]
Okay.
[Michael.]
Oh, wow, - I haven't seen that shirt in a while.
- Yeah.
[Jean.]
How's that breakfast going? [music on tablet.]
[scoffs.]
I love talking to a wall.
- Don't take it personally.
- Hmm.
And we talked about the screen time, remember? I do, but she already finished half of her cereal.
- Who's dropping me? - [Jean.]
Both of us.
- We've got plans in the city tonight.
- [phone chimes.]
[Michael.]
Come on, little brontosaurus.
All right.
- Okay, here you go, monkey.
- I'm not a monkey.
Come on, slowpokes.
[man.]
I just can't admit that it's over.
It's like, the minute the papers were signed I fell for her all over again.
Do you think that's about her? Or just the fact that it's official now? [scoffs.]
She calls me unemotional all the time.
Sorry.
No, don't apologize.
These are big decisions you're making here.
[breathes heavily.]
I think you're dealing with it with such honesty.
It's hard.
And commendable.
- I'll see you next week.
- Okay.
Oh, I know we're running a few late.
Just, uh, give me a sec, okay? [Sam.]
Anyway, I always used to be intimidated by him.
He's that kinda guy.
And we're standing outside the elevator, and he kind of made a passive dig about my leave, and then I just very bluntly told him to go fuck himself.
Wow, that's bold, Sam.
Yeah, well, finally feels like things are coming back together.
How so? Well, like I said, with work.
Anything else? All right, um I'm a little nervous to tell you this.
Don't be nervous.
You can tell me anything, Sam.
[sighs.]
I spoke to Sidney.
She'd called me back after I called her in front of you.
Said we could grab drinks at Morandi.
You know, she was so warm and open, it was better than I thought.
She asked me about work and told me about this demo she's recording.
She looked amazing.
It's like she's so captivating, I can barely hear the words half the time.
Sorry, I didn't even, um I don't know what I'm trying to say right now.
I have an idea.
Let's just take a moment and try an exercise, okay? It might help you communicate with more clarity.
So let's just take a breath and close your eyes.
And try to remember the feeling in the room.
And pretend I'm Sidney.
[exhales.]
What did you say? Well, I told her that I missed her.
Me.
Tell me.
You.
Um I missed you.
And I Well, I think about you all the time.
I bet you do.
It's okay.
Just keep going.
[exhales.]
I'm glad you called.
I know I probably shouldn't be, but I can't help what I feel.
I like that you want me.
She didn't say that.
Oh.
I like hanging with you.
Feels natural.
Not like all the other bullshit out there.
Now you sound a lot like her.
What else, Sam? Did you really just come here to sit and hang out? Tell me what you really want.
You.
And then Sid came back to my place, and we slept together.
I know you're not a fan, but it just It felt so right.
Like, maybe this is what was supposed to happen.
And maybe this is a new beginning.
I'm thinking of having a session at the diner.
[Larin.]
With the bulimic? - She hates to be called that.
- Oh.
Just make sure you allow time to process back in the office.
And, of course, make sure she pays for anything she buys.
[Larin chuckles.]
[Hunter.]
Sorry, I was under the impression that it's frowned upon to spend too much time outside the office.
- When I was on internship - [Larin.]
Case by case.
CBT is all about real world exposure.
[Sasha.]
I'll try it this week.
- See how it goes.
- [Gary.]
Jean? - Jean.
- Hmm? Oh.
I'm sorry, it's just a parent thing.
[Gary.]
Where are you with your new intake? The pill popper? Uh Yeah, well, uh, she's doing great.
She's been going to meetings, been clean for a few weeks now.
And we're building a really nice solid rapport.
[Hunter.]
Hey.
I'm [sighs.]
having some difficulty with my pro bono case.
He's young, too, and struggled a lot with addiction.
I wondered if I could take a look at your notes on your pill popper.
And see how you've made so much progress so quickly.
Okay.
Sure.
Yeah, just let me clean 'em up first before I hand 'em over.
Make sure they're legible.
Cool, thanks, Jean.
[man.]
I risked and ultimately sacrificed everything that meant something to me.
And, uh, I'm reminded every day of how important it is to give thanks.
Take nothing for granted in this world.
'Cause Well, the truth is, five years ago with the amount of shit I was puttin' in my body I could easily be dead.
And for what? I gave myself over to what I want How are you feeling? [man.]
the high.
Like I don't wanna be here.
That's okay, it's completely normal, but you're here.
And that's courageous.
How do you feel about speaking? - Here? - Yeah, it'd be good for you.
You don't have to say much.
I don't want a room full of strangers knowing my story.
Sometimes those are the only people we can be honest with.
It'll be a relief.
[man.]
I realize that now.
Thank you, Randall.
Thank you for sharing.
Is there anyone else who would like to speak? [whispering.]
Stand up and introduce yourself.
- [mutters.]
- Go on, you can do it.
It's okay.
I won't let go, I promise.
You can do it.
My name is Allison.
And I'm an addict.
[all.]
Hi, Allison.
I'm gonna suggest you do what's called 90/90.
90 meetings in 90 days.
90 meetings? It's not as overwhelming as it sounds, I promise.
Sorry, I know I still owe you from the last meetings.
Hey, don't worry about it, okay? [woman.]
Allison, right? Oh, we just wanted to introduce ourselves.
- Oh, hey.
- Oh, and you are? - Um - She's my mom.
[woman.]
Oh.
Okay.
Just call me if you need anything, okay? [whispers.]
I'm proud of you.
Nice to meet you.
[woman.]
So, Allison, welcome.
I wanted to share some information with you.
[chattering.]
- [Max.]
Line actually starts there.
- I was just looking for Sidney.
Is she working today? No, she took the week off to record her demo or something.
Oh Do you know where? I, uh I'm a journalist, and I'm writing a story on music in the city, and I was hoping to speak to her band.
Uh I think they usually rehearse at a space downtown.
Do you know the name? [Sam.]
What about her? - [man.]
She won't match with me.
- [Sam.]
How do you know? See, she hasn't even been on the app in two weeks.
Probably just took a break from her boyfriend, who's in love with her, to look at other options and realized everyone sucks.
Fucking lent Sid all my cash so she could pay for her demo.
Don't tell me she's using you for money again.
Shut up.
- She didn't ask, I offered.
- Huh, lemme guess She hasn't reached out since.
[door opens.]
Oh, shit.
- What? - Emily.
Hold on.
Hey.
Shocked you still come here.
I-I don't really.
Yeah, me neither.
It's Micah's bachelorette.
Well, they all clearly still hate my guts.
Can you blame them? [chuckles.]
So, how how've you been? Good.
Really good, actually.
- You still with, um - No.
Um, I actually recently broke up with her.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
Sorry to hear that.
No, you're not.
It's true.
[chuckles.]
Yeah, I think I was forcing the situation.
It was ultimately really unhealthy.
Yeah.
Yeah, it seemed that way to everyone else.
Um, I have to get back to the Y-yeah, take care.
Um, tell Micah I said congratulations.
- Nice to see you.
- You too.
Hey, uh, Emily? - I'm really sorry - We're not doing this here, Sam.
You're right.
My bad.
Have fun.
[woman.]
Oh, my God [sighs.]
We've been home five minutes.
You couldn't wait to say good night? I've got an early day tomorrow.
[Michael.]
What? Nothing.
Are you sure that you're okay? You had two patient emergencies over the past I don't know, just seems like No, I'm fine.
Just had a tough week, that's all.
It's all under control.
Don't worry.
Oh, by the way, I have a continuing psych class tomorrow night, so Okay.
Well, Adrian and a couple of the guys are gonna come over and watch the Steelers game, so Perfect.
You're not comin' to bed? I, um I just have a little work to do.
I'll come in soon.
Get inside I wanna get inside your head I wanna get inside I wanna get inside [Claire.]
I gave this to her when she graduated college.
She told me she'd never take it off.
It's a very thoughtful gift.
Look at this stuff.
Oh, yes, this is the locket.
For her Sweet 16.
- Are you sure it's all Rebecca's? - Oh, yes.
I was going to buy her a housewarming present, not because I wanted to be clingy or judgmental.
Actually, a good mother.
And, um, I went online and tried to find the new address, since, you know, she wouldn't give it to me.
They directed me to an eBay page, and she was selling all of it.
Who does that? At first, I thought maybe she needed money, but then as time went on, I began to think maybe she's planning to kill herself.
What? Wh-why do you say that? Because when you wanna die, you give away all your things because you're not gonna need them.
[sighs.]
After all, look at me.
She's already given me away.
Claire [scoffs.]
Trust me, your daughter is not suicidal.
You don't know that.
Yes, I do.
How? Well, from everything you said, she's She's not suicidal, she's just the opposite.
She's She's trying to find her feet.
You know, they say when people commit suicide, they're happy at the end.
- They feel they have the plan - Claire.
Your daughter's fine, okay? Trust me, this is my field.
She is not suicidal.
I just keep thinking, what did I do wrong? I understand how frustrated you are.
I'd like to approach this differently.
Yes, the little girl you raised is gone.
She's a new woman now.
And sometimes when we break free, we need to push some people aside so we can get in touch with our true selves.
Hey.
I have those notes on Allison, if you wanna take a look.
- Oh, thanks so much.
- No problem.
Uh, just be careful, okay? It's my only copy.
- Yeah, yeah, of course.
- Great.
[punches landing.]
[man shouting encouragement.]
[woman.]
It should feel like a challenge! You guys can't be weak in here! One-two, one-two.
Snap those punches, bring 'em back.
Excellent.
Let's go! Get it! [woman.]
Bring it back to the base.
You should always be ready for attack.
Get in fight position and grab a partner.
And remember, no one is as strong as you.
- Hey.
- Hands up.
Left-right, left-right.
One-two, one-two.
Give her a little resistance.
Punch right here.
Left-right, left-right, go! - Breathe.
- I will.
[on phone.]
Hi, Jean, this is Mrs.
Finnegan.
I wanted to go over Dolly's test scores with you and see if you gave any more thought to the medications.
Let's set up a time to meet and we can go through her options.
I can be reached at this number during school hours.
I look forward to hearing [muffled music thumping.]
[Sidney singing.]
I don't need a doctor I don't need a priest I don't need a dealer I don't need the police I don't need a mother I don't need a mother No, I don't need no other What the fuck? Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt.
[band stops playing.]
Hey, guys, I want you to meet Diane.
Diane is a customer? Acquaintance? I mean, who are you? Really? You were at the party a few weeks ago.
Yeah, hey, Frances.
It's nice to see you again.
Yeah, you guys met.
He thought you were hot.
I should have asked you what you thought.
You're single, right? - Uh, yeah - I'd do him.
- I have, actually.
- Come on, Sid, really? Well, she's not into women.
So, you might have a shot.
You know, I-I didn't come here for this.
No, I know.
Max told me you're doing some piece on music in New York or some other fucking bullshit that sounds made up.
Why can't you just admit you wanna see me? That's what she does, she bails on you.
Even when you need her.
You're making this really easy for me.
I actually came here to have an honest conversation with you, to tell you that I can't do this anymore.
Well, this isn't anything.
So I'm not quite sure what you're ending.
But you're pretty reckless with people's feelings.
Excuse me? What was I supposed to do? Sit there with your ex-boyfriend and listen to you catch up on old times? - That's not what it was.
- It's indulgent and reckless.
If you wanna throw that word around so easily.
You know what? You're right.
Just as well you weren't there, 'cause we ended up fucking, just like old times.
Guess we're not that different.
- Using people to get what we want - Don't put me in a category with you.
We're nothing alike.
You know what? You're right, because I go for what I want and you're scared.
You talk a big game.
But when it comes down to it you're just a scared little girl.
[Michael.]
Stacey picked up Dolly and the guys are gonna be here any minute.
Oh, she left? I didn't get to say goodbye.
[phone chimes.]
Hey, when did you put a passcode on your phone? Last week.
Yeah, I just I realized I have all this sensitive patient information.
You know, so if I lost my phone, it'd be a real issue.
Mm-hmm.
What is it? [Jean scoffs.]
Your passcode.
I can't tell you.
It's private.
You know mine.
Honey What is your passcode? Honey What's your passcode? [doorbell rings.]
[Jean grunts.]
[crowd cheering on TV.]
- Wow! Look at you.
- Oh, please, stop.
You sure you don't wanna stay? I can't.
I have a psych thing to go to.
You guys have fun, though.
Plus, Michael never gets a guys' night, so I don't wanna ruin it.
Is Larin going to your psych thing? Uh, no.
She can't make it tonight.
She's doing that whole singing thing now, right? Yeah, right.
Uh, a cappella? I had no idea.
[man.]
I barely knew.
Just shows how little you know someone.
Are you taking the car or the train? The car.
I won't be too late.
Have fun, guys.
[car alarm chirps.]
[sighs.]
[phone swooshes.]
[buzzes.]
[buzzes.]
[man.]
Yes? Hello, uh I'm here for dinner.
Come on up.
[door lock buzzing.]
[Jean.]
Oh, hi.
- You're, uh - Diane.
- So nice to meet you - Dax.
Oh Oh, hi.
Wow.
What an awesome space.
[chuckles.]
Yeah.
Yeah, we think so.
- You can put your shoes right here.
- Oh, sure.
- Yeah.
- Great.
Okay.
Oh, and if you could, leave your device, too.
We like to disconnect in the evenings.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
Okay.
Um - Diane? - Hey! - It's so good to see you.
- So glad you made it.
Oh, and um please don't mention the salon.
- I told everyone that we met at yoga.
- Okay.
- They would judge it as materialistic.
- Got it.
This is Diane.
[all.]
Oh, hey! Hello! Hi! Jesus! Who runs the option on third and six? Come on! I should've put money on this.
Anyone know the spread? Uh, Steelers are getting six-and-a-half.
- I think the over-under is 48.
- You make that up? [phone chimes.]
- Oh, shit.
- Who is she? Uh, this girl I've been seeing.
If you'd have told me a few years ago I'd be seeing a 29-year-old Fuck, man, she's hot.
I try to get Jennifer to be more adventurous It's not like that.
She just wants to please me.
It's the exact opposite of my entire marriage.
[man 2.]
Let me see? So, do you guys cook like this every night? [Dax.]
Three nights a week.
- Mmm.
- Cooking together's a ritual.
Can I ask, do you guys have good relationships with your real families? Don't say "real" to Dax.
[chuckling.]
We believe we choose our families.
Same way you choose who you are.
Right.
I get that.
A lot of us maintain relationships outside the group, - as long as they're accepting.
- Hmm.
My family still thinks I'm a ski bunny in Vermont.
[both laughing.]
They would never understand the concept of pure honesty.
Pure honesty? The philosophy behind this place.
No shame is too large.
Hey, Diane.
Diane? Hey.
Can I steal her? I wanna take her on a little tour.
Yeah, of course.
We just get so bogged down by our choices, and they're represented by all this - stuff.
- Hmm.
Trust me, I could dig through my closet and find remnants of my entire life.
[laughs.]
What do you really need? It just challenges you to start anew every day.
Not hang on to the past.
How's your mom? Any progress? She's in this cycle where she only sees things one way.
She's not like me.
Or you.
The deeper I get into my life here, I'm just I'm realizing all of these things I just couldn't face.
Like what? How she used to manipulate me.
Even before my dad got sick.
When I was in high school, she bet me money that I could lose weight.
That's awful.
I had no idea.
Why would you? I wouldn't.
I guess I Sounds like she was just trying to be helpful.
Well, she wasn't.
Look, I understand.
I have a sister whose kid is dealing with some identity issues.
Gender confusion.
And she can't really face it, so Probably, to people on the outside, it looks close-minded.
But it all just stems from fear.
It's probably the same with your mom.
Well, everybody has their limits and I can only take so much.
That was the day she moved me into my apartment.
Oh, God.
[laughs.]
It was awful.
So stressful.
She probably remembers it differently.
You know, the truth is I don't think anything can replace that connection.
As hard as we both might try.
[woman.]
With each breath, you are letting go of the stress.
The chaos of the day.
Any negativity.
Now breathe deeply.
Feel your body beneath you.
The only thing that is real is this moment.
Right here.
Right now.
As the world moves around you, you too are capable of moving.
You are your single self.
Not attached to anyone.
Just as people and circumstances change, you also have a greater power within you.
The power to make your own choices.
For your very best change.
[man.]
Have you ever heard of a vape? Hey, I can roll a fucking joint, okay? I think.
- You smoke it, then you talk shit.
- [cell phone rings.]
[laughing.]
Hey, babe.
Yeah.
Right after the game's done.
Yeah, I'll be there, I promise.
Can you text me the address? I hate him.
Oh, come on, he went through so much shit with the divorce.
- He deserves a little happiness.
- I know.
I'm just so bored with Jennifer.
I wouldn't even know how to want her anymore.
Even if I did, she'd tell me to go fuck myself or jerk off to some porn.
Oh, jeez.
That's rough, my friend.
Sounds like another divorce.
[Dax.]
All right, you guys ready? [woman.]
Yeah.
[Dax.]
As you've heard tonight, we have a philosophy of no secrets.
So, as a way of connecting more truthfully, we have this little ritual.
[laughing.]
Don't worry.
It's fun.
We each pick a phone and read the most recent text out loud.
[Dax.]
And as our guest of honor Okay Um - Shit.
- [laughing.]
That's mine.
- Passcode? - 7-1-8-7.
Nate says, "Thanks for the air mattress.
Return it next week.
" It's mine.
[chuckles.]
Passcode? 6-6-3-9.
[Rebecca.]
It's from Melissa S.
What? "Stay the fuck out of my life.
" - Wow, all caps.
- [woman.]
Whoa.
- What is that about, Diane? - Just seems so angry.
- It's a long story.
- Oh, no secrets, remember? Melissa Saugraves is a woman I used to work with.
Why is she telling you to stay away from her? I had to end the friendship, became too codependent.
She started making up stories.
Ultimately, she became Well, she blamed me for her instability.
It's complicated.
- Hey, thanks for having me.
- All right.
Yeah, bro.
All right.
Thank your girlfriend for giving me jerk-off material.
You're a dick.
See ya.
- See you, too.
- Lates.
- Thank you.
- All right, brother.
- All right? - Yep.
- See ya at work.
- Okay.
- Hey.
Thanks for the smoke, man.
- Yeah.
Good night.
- See you.
- Get home safe.
I'll do my best.
[laughing.]
[Dax.]
All right, let's give thanks.
Thank you for the company at tonight's table.
We feel blessed.
Thanks to everyone for contributing to this meal.
Diane, would you like to say anything? Uh, it's a tradition, but you don't have to.
No, I'd love to.
Um Well, first, I'd like to say thank you for having me.
You've all made me feel so welcome and included.
When the truth is I often feel outside things in my normal life.
[Jean.]
I'd like to say thank you for this incredible space.
And your energy.
I feel very connected here.
It's nice to have that feeling again.
It's crazy, because you're a room full of strangers, and yet, I feel like I belong.
I feel more like myself than I felt in a long time.
Because I can be honest and there's no judgment or expectation.
[Sidney singing.]
I wanna get inside your head I wanna get inside I wanna get inside I wanna get inside I swear that I You guys don't know my stories, my past.
All the history.
So I get to be me in this room, with you, all of you.
And so, um in the spirit of pure honesty, I guess I feel like I've been living my life as two people.
And sometimes that gets confusing.
Like, I don't know which one is real.
Which one's most authentic.
'Cause I can play myself.
I can give you a persona to an alarming degree, where it's imperceptible to the ones most close to me.
I yeah, don't know who's in control anymore.
Or who I wanna be.
Does that make sense? [Dax.]
Thank you for sharing.
I hope you know this is a safe space.
You're welcome anytime.
Thank you.
Sometimes all it takes is a brave step forward.
[Jean.]
Thanks.
- [man.]
Hear, hear.
- [all.]
Cheers.
- [woman.]
You're welcome.
- [glasses clinking.]
[Jean.]
Hey.
What do you want now? For the record, I'm not scared.
- [Larin.]
See you, guys.
- Okay.
Jean? Jean! [phone chimes.]
[sighs.]
Hey, there.
Hey.
How was it? Oh, it was fun.
How was your night? Oh, fine.
Where were you? I told you.
I had the psych thing, remember? I know, but where were you? Really? I see so many of these guys.
Divorced.
Struggling.
I really don't want that to be us.
[sighs.]
Me too.
Of course not.
I booked us a night in a nice hotel in the city next week.
I know it's not Belize, but at least it'll give us a chance to reconnect.
[Patti Smith sings "We Three".]
You say you want me I want another Say you dream of me Dream of your brother Oh, the stars shine so suspiciously For we three You said when you were with me That nothing made you high We drank all night together And you began to cry so recklessly Baby, please Don't take my hope away from me
So I'm back to the velvet Ooh, underground Back to the floor That I love To a room With some lace some paper flowers Back to the gypsy That I was To the gypsy That remains Faces freedom With a little bit of fear I have no fear I have only love But she was just a wish She was just a wish And lightning struck only once And your gypsy Your gypsy [keyboard clacking.]
[elevator bell dings.]
[elevator door opens.]
[pig squeals on tablet.]
[dramatic music on tablet.]
[message chimes.]
[Dolly groans.]
Dad, it's doing it again.
Oh, come on.
I thought I fixed it! - [Dolly.]
Who's Alexis? - That's my assistant.
- Why do you need an assistant? - She helps me with my work.
I want an assistant.
[chuckles.]
Finish your cereal first, silly.
Honey, if we're gonna go together, we need to go.
[Michael.]
Honey, come on.
[Jean.]
Yeah, I'm just getting dressed.
I'll be down in a second.
[Jean.]
Okay.
[Michael.]
Oh, wow, - I haven't seen that shirt in a while.
- Yeah.
[Jean.]
How's that breakfast going? [music on tablet.]
[scoffs.]
I love talking to a wall.
- Don't take it personally.
- Hmm.
And we talked about the screen time, remember? I do, but she already finished half of her cereal.
- Who's dropping me? - [Jean.]
Both of us.
- We've got plans in the city tonight.
- [phone chimes.]
[Michael.]
Come on, little brontosaurus.
All right.
- Okay, here you go, monkey.
- I'm not a monkey.
Come on, slowpokes.
[man.]
I just can't admit that it's over.
It's like, the minute the papers were signed I fell for her all over again.
Do you think that's about her? Or just the fact that it's official now? [scoffs.]
She calls me unemotional all the time.
Sorry.
No, don't apologize.
These are big decisions you're making here.
[breathes heavily.]
I think you're dealing with it with such honesty.
It's hard.
And commendable.
- I'll see you next week.
- Okay.
Oh, I know we're running a few late.
Just, uh, give me a sec, okay? [Sam.]
Anyway, I always used to be intimidated by him.
He's that kinda guy.
And we're standing outside the elevator, and he kind of made a passive dig about my leave, and then I just very bluntly told him to go fuck himself.
Wow, that's bold, Sam.
Yeah, well, finally feels like things are coming back together.
How so? Well, like I said, with work.
Anything else? All right, um I'm a little nervous to tell you this.
Don't be nervous.
You can tell me anything, Sam.
[sighs.]
I spoke to Sidney.
She'd called me back after I called her in front of you.
Said we could grab drinks at Morandi.
You know, she was so warm and open, it was better than I thought.
She asked me about work and told me about this demo she's recording.
She looked amazing.
It's like she's so captivating, I can barely hear the words half the time.
Sorry, I didn't even, um I don't know what I'm trying to say right now.
I have an idea.
Let's just take a moment and try an exercise, okay? It might help you communicate with more clarity.
So let's just take a breath and close your eyes.
And try to remember the feeling in the room.
And pretend I'm Sidney.
[exhales.]
What did you say? Well, I told her that I missed her.
Me.
Tell me.
You.
Um I missed you.
And I Well, I think about you all the time.
I bet you do.
It's okay.
Just keep going.
[exhales.]
I'm glad you called.
I know I probably shouldn't be, but I can't help what I feel.
I like that you want me.
She didn't say that.
Oh.
I like hanging with you.
Feels natural.
Not like all the other bullshit out there.
Now you sound a lot like her.
What else, Sam? Did you really just come here to sit and hang out? Tell me what you really want.
You.
And then Sid came back to my place, and we slept together.
I know you're not a fan, but it just It felt so right.
Like, maybe this is what was supposed to happen.
And maybe this is a new beginning.
I'm thinking of having a session at the diner.
[Larin.]
With the bulimic? - She hates to be called that.
- Oh.
Just make sure you allow time to process back in the office.
And, of course, make sure she pays for anything she buys.
[Larin chuckles.]
[Hunter.]
Sorry, I was under the impression that it's frowned upon to spend too much time outside the office.
- When I was on internship - [Larin.]
Case by case.
CBT is all about real world exposure.
[Sasha.]
I'll try it this week.
- See how it goes.
- [Gary.]
Jean? - Jean.
- Hmm? Oh.
I'm sorry, it's just a parent thing.
[Gary.]
Where are you with your new intake? The pill popper? Uh Yeah, well, uh, she's doing great.
She's been going to meetings, been clean for a few weeks now.
And we're building a really nice solid rapport.
[Hunter.]
Hey.
I'm [sighs.]
having some difficulty with my pro bono case.
He's young, too, and struggled a lot with addiction.
I wondered if I could take a look at your notes on your pill popper.
And see how you've made so much progress so quickly.
Okay.
Sure.
Yeah, just let me clean 'em up first before I hand 'em over.
Make sure they're legible.
Cool, thanks, Jean.
[man.]
I risked and ultimately sacrificed everything that meant something to me.
And, uh, I'm reminded every day of how important it is to give thanks.
Take nothing for granted in this world.
'Cause Well, the truth is, five years ago with the amount of shit I was puttin' in my body I could easily be dead.
And for what? I gave myself over to what I want How are you feeling? [man.]
the high.
Like I don't wanna be here.
That's okay, it's completely normal, but you're here.
And that's courageous.
How do you feel about speaking? - Here? - Yeah, it'd be good for you.
You don't have to say much.
I don't want a room full of strangers knowing my story.
Sometimes those are the only people we can be honest with.
It'll be a relief.
[man.]
I realize that now.
Thank you, Randall.
Thank you for sharing.
Is there anyone else who would like to speak? [whispering.]
Stand up and introduce yourself.
- [mutters.]
- Go on, you can do it.
It's okay.
I won't let go, I promise.
You can do it.
My name is Allison.
And I'm an addict.
[all.]
Hi, Allison.
I'm gonna suggest you do what's called 90/90.
90 meetings in 90 days.
90 meetings? It's not as overwhelming as it sounds, I promise.
Sorry, I know I still owe you from the last meetings.
Hey, don't worry about it, okay? [woman.]
Allison, right? Oh, we just wanted to introduce ourselves.
- Oh, hey.
- Oh, and you are? - Um - She's my mom.
[woman.]
Oh.
Okay.
Just call me if you need anything, okay? [whispers.]
I'm proud of you.
Nice to meet you.
[woman.]
So, Allison, welcome.
I wanted to share some information with you.
[chattering.]
- [Max.]
Line actually starts there.
- I was just looking for Sidney.
Is she working today? No, she took the week off to record her demo or something.
Oh Do you know where? I, uh I'm a journalist, and I'm writing a story on music in the city, and I was hoping to speak to her band.
Uh I think they usually rehearse at a space downtown.
Do you know the name? [Sam.]
What about her? - [man.]
She won't match with me.
- [Sam.]
How do you know? See, she hasn't even been on the app in two weeks.
Probably just took a break from her boyfriend, who's in love with her, to look at other options and realized everyone sucks.
Fucking lent Sid all my cash so she could pay for her demo.
Don't tell me she's using you for money again.
Shut up.
- She didn't ask, I offered.
- Huh, lemme guess She hasn't reached out since.
[door opens.]
Oh, shit.
- What? - Emily.
Hold on.
Hey.
Shocked you still come here.
I-I don't really.
Yeah, me neither.
It's Micah's bachelorette.
Well, they all clearly still hate my guts.
Can you blame them? [chuckles.]
So, how how've you been? Good.
Really good, actually.
- You still with, um - No.
Um, I actually recently broke up with her.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
Sorry to hear that.
No, you're not.
It's true.
[chuckles.]
Yeah, I think I was forcing the situation.
It was ultimately really unhealthy.
Yeah.
Yeah, it seemed that way to everyone else.
Um, I have to get back to the Y-yeah, take care.
Um, tell Micah I said congratulations.
- Nice to see you.
- You too.
Hey, uh, Emily? - I'm really sorry - We're not doing this here, Sam.
You're right.
My bad.
Have fun.
[woman.]
Oh, my God [sighs.]
We've been home five minutes.
You couldn't wait to say good night? I've got an early day tomorrow.
[Michael.]
What? Nothing.
Are you sure that you're okay? You had two patient emergencies over the past I don't know, just seems like No, I'm fine.
Just had a tough week, that's all.
It's all under control.
Don't worry.
Oh, by the way, I have a continuing psych class tomorrow night, so Okay.
Well, Adrian and a couple of the guys are gonna come over and watch the Steelers game, so Perfect.
You're not comin' to bed? I, um I just have a little work to do.
I'll come in soon.
Get inside I wanna get inside your head I wanna get inside I wanna get inside [Claire.]
I gave this to her when she graduated college.
She told me she'd never take it off.
It's a very thoughtful gift.
Look at this stuff.
Oh, yes, this is the locket.
For her Sweet 16.
- Are you sure it's all Rebecca's? - Oh, yes.
I was going to buy her a housewarming present, not because I wanted to be clingy or judgmental.
Actually, a good mother.
And, um, I went online and tried to find the new address, since, you know, she wouldn't give it to me.
They directed me to an eBay page, and she was selling all of it.
Who does that? At first, I thought maybe she needed money, but then as time went on, I began to think maybe she's planning to kill herself.
What? Wh-why do you say that? Because when you wanna die, you give away all your things because you're not gonna need them.
[sighs.]
After all, look at me.
She's already given me away.
Claire [scoffs.]
Trust me, your daughter is not suicidal.
You don't know that.
Yes, I do.
How? Well, from everything you said, she's She's not suicidal, she's just the opposite.
She's She's trying to find her feet.
You know, they say when people commit suicide, they're happy at the end.
- They feel they have the plan - Claire.
Your daughter's fine, okay? Trust me, this is my field.
She is not suicidal.
I just keep thinking, what did I do wrong? I understand how frustrated you are.
I'd like to approach this differently.
Yes, the little girl you raised is gone.
She's a new woman now.
And sometimes when we break free, we need to push some people aside so we can get in touch with our true selves.
Hey.
I have those notes on Allison, if you wanna take a look.
- Oh, thanks so much.
- No problem.
Uh, just be careful, okay? It's my only copy.
- Yeah, yeah, of course.
- Great.
[punches landing.]
[man shouting encouragement.]
[woman.]
It should feel like a challenge! You guys can't be weak in here! One-two, one-two.
Snap those punches, bring 'em back.
Excellent.
Let's go! Get it! [woman.]
Bring it back to the base.
You should always be ready for attack.
Get in fight position and grab a partner.
And remember, no one is as strong as you.
- Hey.
- Hands up.
Left-right, left-right.
One-two, one-two.
Give her a little resistance.
Punch right here.
Left-right, left-right, go! - Breathe.
- I will.
[on phone.]
Hi, Jean, this is Mrs.
Finnegan.
I wanted to go over Dolly's test scores with you and see if you gave any more thought to the medications.
Let's set up a time to meet and we can go through her options.
I can be reached at this number during school hours.
I look forward to hearing [muffled music thumping.]
[Sidney singing.]
I don't need a doctor I don't need a priest I don't need a dealer I don't need the police I don't need a mother I don't need a mother No, I don't need no other What the fuck? Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt.
[band stops playing.]
Hey, guys, I want you to meet Diane.
Diane is a customer? Acquaintance? I mean, who are you? Really? You were at the party a few weeks ago.
Yeah, hey, Frances.
It's nice to see you again.
Yeah, you guys met.
He thought you were hot.
I should have asked you what you thought.
You're single, right? - Uh, yeah - I'd do him.
- I have, actually.
- Come on, Sid, really? Well, she's not into women.
So, you might have a shot.
You know, I-I didn't come here for this.
No, I know.
Max told me you're doing some piece on music in New York or some other fucking bullshit that sounds made up.
Why can't you just admit you wanna see me? That's what she does, she bails on you.
Even when you need her.
You're making this really easy for me.
I actually came here to have an honest conversation with you, to tell you that I can't do this anymore.
Well, this isn't anything.
So I'm not quite sure what you're ending.
But you're pretty reckless with people's feelings.
Excuse me? What was I supposed to do? Sit there with your ex-boyfriend and listen to you catch up on old times? - That's not what it was.
- It's indulgent and reckless.
If you wanna throw that word around so easily.
You know what? You're right.
Just as well you weren't there, 'cause we ended up fucking, just like old times.
Guess we're not that different.
- Using people to get what we want - Don't put me in a category with you.
We're nothing alike.
You know what? You're right, because I go for what I want and you're scared.
You talk a big game.
But when it comes down to it you're just a scared little girl.
[Michael.]
Stacey picked up Dolly and the guys are gonna be here any minute.
Oh, she left? I didn't get to say goodbye.
[phone chimes.]
Hey, when did you put a passcode on your phone? Last week.
Yeah, I just I realized I have all this sensitive patient information.
You know, so if I lost my phone, it'd be a real issue.
Mm-hmm.
What is it? [Jean scoffs.]
Your passcode.
I can't tell you.
It's private.
You know mine.
Honey What is your passcode? Honey What's your passcode? [doorbell rings.]
[Jean grunts.]
[crowd cheering on TV.]
- Wow! Look at you.
- Oh, please, stop.
You sure you don't wanna stay? I can't.
I have a psych thing to go to.
You guys have fun, though.
Plus, Michael never gets a guys' night, so I don't wanna ruin it.
Is Larin going to your psych thing? Uh, no.
She can't make it tonight.
She's doing that whole singing thing now, right? Yeah, right.
Uh, a cappella? I had no idea.
[man.]
I barely knew.
Just shows how little you know someone.
Are you taking the car or the train? The car.
I won't be too late.
Have fun, guys.
[car alarm chirps.]
[sighs.]
[phone swooshes.]
[buzzes.]
[buzzes.]
[man.]
Yes? Hello, uh I'm here for dinner.
Come on up.
[door lock buzzing.]
[Jean.]
Oh, hi.
- You're, uh - Diane.
- So nice to meet you - Dax.
Oh Oh, hi.
Wow.
What an awesome space.
[chuckles.]
Yeah.
Yeah, we think so.
- You can put your shoes right here.
- Oh, sure.
- Yeah.
- Great.
Okay.
Oh, and if you could, leave your device, too.
We like to disconnect in the evenings.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
Okay.
Um - Diane? - Hey! - It's so good to see you.
- So glad you made it.
Oh, and um please don't mention the salon.
- I told everyone that we met at yoga.
- Okay.
- They would judge it as materialistic.
- Got it.
This is Diane.
[all.]
Oh, hey! Hello! Hi! Jesus! Who runs the option on third and six? Come on! I should've put money on this.
Anyone know the spread? Uh, Steelers are getting six-and-a-half.
- I think the over-under is 48.
- You make that up? [phone chimes.]
- Oh, shit.
- Who is she? Uh, this girl I've been seeing.
If you'd have told me a few years ago I'd be seeing a 29-year-old Fuck, man, she's hot.
I try to get Jennifer to be more adventurous It's not like that.
She just wants to please me.
It's the exact opposite of my entire marriage.
[man 2.]
Let me see? So, do you guys cook like this every night? [Dax.]
Three nights a week.
- Mmm.
- Cooking together's a ritual.
Can I ask, do you guys have good relationships with your real families? Don't say "real" to Dax.
[chuckling.]
We believe we choose our families.
Same way you choose who you are.
Right.
I get that.
A lot of us maintain relationships outside the group, - as long as they're accepting.
- Hmm.
My family still thinks I'm a ski bunny in Vermont.
[both laughing.]
They would never understand the concept of pure honesty.
Pure honesty? The philosophy behind this place.
No shame is too large.
Hey, Diane.
Diane? Hey.
Can I steal her? I wanna take her on a little tour.
Yeah, of course.
We just get so bogged down by our choices, and they're represented by all this - stuff.
- Hmm.
Trust me, I could dig through my closet and find remnants of my entire life.
[laughs.]
What do you really need? It just challenges you to start anew every day.
Not hang on to the past.
How's your mom? Any progress? She's in this cycle where she only sees things one way.
She's not like me.
Or you.
The deeper I get into my life here, I'm just I'm realizing all of these things I just couldn't face.
Like what? How she used to manipulate me.
Even before my dad got sick.
When I was in high school, she bet me money that I could lose weight.
That's awful.
I had no idea.
Why would you? I wouldn't.
I guess I Sounds like she was just trying to be helpful.
Well, she wasn't.
Look, I understand.
I have a sister whose kid is dealing with some identity issues.
Gender confusion.
And she can't really face it, so Probably, to people on the outside, it looks close-minded.
But it all just stems from fear.
It's probably the same with your mom.
Well, everybody has their limits and I can only take so much.
That was the day she moved me into my apartment.
Oh, God.
[laughs.]
It was awful.
So stressful.
She probably remembers it differently.
You know, the truth is I don't think anything can replace that connection.
As hard as we both might try.
[woman.]
With each breath, you are letting go of the stress.
The chaos of the day.
Any negativity.
Now breathe deeply.
Feel your body beneath you.
The only thing that is real is this moment.
Right here.
Right now.
As the world moves around you, you too are capable of moving.
You are your single self.
Not attached to anyone.
Just as people and circumstances change, you also have a greater power within you.
The power to make your own choices.
For your very best change.
[man.]
Have you ever heard of a vape? Hey, I can roll a fucking joint, okay? I think.
- You smoke it, then you talk shit.
- [cell phone rings.]
[laughing.]
Hey, babe.
Yeah.
Right after the game's done.
Yeah, I'll be there, I promise.
Can you text me the address? I hate him.
Oh, come on, he went through so much shit with the divorce.
- He deserves a little happiness.
- I know.
I'm just so bored with Jennifer.
I wouldn't even know how to want her anymore.
Even if I did, she'd tell me to go fuck myself or jerk off to some porn.
Oh, jeez.
That's rough, my friend.
Sounds like another divorce.
[Dax.]
All right, you guys ready? [woman.]
Yeah.
[Dax.]
As you've heard tonight, we have a philosophy of no secrets.
So, as a way of connecting more truthfully, we have this little ritual.
[laughing.]
Don't worry.
It's fun.
We each pick a phone and read the most recent text out loud.
[Dax.]
And as our guest of honor Okay Um - Shit.
- [laughing.]
That's mine.
- Passcode? - 7-1-8-7.
Nate says, "Thanks for the air mattress.
Return it next week.
" It's mine.
[chuckles.]
Passcode? 6-6-3-9.
[Rebecca.]
It's from Melissa S.
What? "Stay the fuck out of my life.
" - Wow, all caps.
- [woman.]
Whoa.
- What is that about, Diane? - Just seems so angry.
- It's a long story.
- Oh, no secrets, remember? Melissa Saugraves is a woman I used to work with.
Why is she telling you to stay away from her? I had to end the friendship, became too codependent.
She started making up stories.
Ultimately, she became Well, she blamed me for her instability.
It's complicated.
- Hey, thanks for having me.
- All right.
Yeah, bro.
All right.
Thank your girlfriend for giving me jerk-off material.
You're a dick.
See ya.
- See you, too.
- Lates.
- Thank you.
- All right, brother.
- All right? - Yep.
- See ya at work.
- Okay.
- Hey.
Thanks for the smoke, man.
- Yeah.
Good night.
- See you.
- Get home safe.
I'll do my best.
[laughing.]
[Dax.]
All right, let's give thanks.
Thank you for the company at tonight's table.
We feel blessed.
Thanks to everyone for contributing to this meal.
Diane, would you like to say anything? Uh, it's a tradition, but you don't have to.
No, I'd love to.
Um Well, first, I'd like to say thank you for having me.
You've all made me feel so welcome and included.
When the truth is I often feel outside things in my normal life.
[Jean.]
I'd like to say thank you for this incredible space.
And your energy.
I feel very connected here.
It's nice to have that feeling again.
It's crazy, because you're a room full of strangers, and yet, I feel like I belong.
I feel more like myself than I felt in a long time.
Because I can be honest and there's no judgment or expectation.
[Sidney singing.]
I wanna get inside your head I wanna get inside I wanna get inside I wanna get inside I swear that I You guys don't know my stories, my past.
All the history.
So I get to be me in this room, with you, all of you.
And so, um in the spirit of pure honesty, I guess I feel like I've been living my life as two people.
And sometimes that gets confusing.
Like, I don't know which one is real.
Which one's most authentic.
'Cause I can play myself.
I can give you a persona to an alarming degree, where it's imperceptible to the ones most close to me.
I yeah, don't know who's in control anymore.
Or who I wanna be.
Does that make sense? [Dax.]
Thank you for sharing.
I hope you know this is a safe space.
You're welcome anytime.
Thank you.
Sometimes all it takes is a brave step forward.
[Jean.]
Thanks.
- [man.]
Hear, hear.
- [all.]
Cheers.
- [woman.]
You're welcome.
- [glasses clinking.]
[Jean.]
Hey.
What do you want now? For the record, I'm not scared.
- [Larin.]
See you, guys.
- Okay.
Jean? Jean! [phone chimes.]
[sighs.]
Hey, there.
Hey.
How was it? Oh, it was fun.
How was your night? Oh, fine.
Where were you? I told you.
I had the psych thing, remember? I know, but where were you? Really? I see so many of these guys.
Divorced.
Struggling.
I really don't want that to be us.
[sighs.]
Me too.
Of course not.
I booked us a night in a nice hotel in the city next week.
I know it's not Belize, but at least it'll give us a chance to reconnect.
[Patti Smith sings "We Three".]
You say you want me I want another Say you dream of me Dream of your brother Oh, the stars shine so suspiciously For we three You said when you were with me That nothing made you high We drank all night together And you began to cry so recklessly Baby, please Don't take my hope away from me