Happyland (2014) s01e05 Episode Script

Previously on "Happyland" Harper broke up with me.
You're on a date what the hell? I'm having fun.
Do you realize that Will can't afford to not have a job? I got a call this morning offering me a job in security.
I guess somebody's got my back.
You're looking at the newest Happyland VIP tour guide.
I wanted to try one more time.
Asking you out.
Are you sure you don't want me to come? It's not like a normal graduation.
You just find out if you pass and then get a certificate to lead tours, not that big a deal.
You're a bad liar.
It's a huge deal.
If I worked this hard in high school, I would have left knowing more than how to remove a hickey with a toothbrush.
Does this say official tour guide? I've never had a job where I don't wear a costume.
You look great, just, maybe something over it, in case it gets chilly.
Okay.
I look like I should be in the background of a pit bull video.
That's my "get lucky first date" dress.
Yeah, let's get you out of that, maybe borrow something from Harper.
I haven't seen much of her lately.
The whole her-dating-Ian thing is kind of weird.
You two will figure it out.
Right now, I just want to have a great night with Noah.
You want to learn that trick, I think I got an extra toothbrush.
Joking.
We've got darts.
The cheapest chicken fingers around Happyland and a video game where skaters fight zombies.
Well, nothing says romance like the undead.
Hey, you.
Hey, what are you guys doing here? I've been in serious hot boy withdrawal.
You should join us.
I feel like I haven't seen you in forever.
I'm always up to be a wing enabler.
Awesome.
Are are you sure? We don't have to.
Look, I'd love to hang out with your friends.
I'm with you.
I'm good.
Heya, Lucy.
Hey.
Fun, double date.
So You guys have a lot of love scenes together.
That must be fun.
Oh, it's something.
You said both your parents work at the park.
What do they do? I You know, I was I was blackout that night.
Major word vomit.
And vomit-vomit.
Well, her mom is training to be a tour guide.
Oh.
And what about your dad? I think those are Harper's wings.
I I got 'em.
Yeah, let me let me help you.
Uh, so I heard the college interns once poured a ton of rum in the flume and set it on fire? There's kind of a code of secrecy, so if I told you, I'd have to, well, break the code of secrecy.
Yeah, I don't care about your code.
Spill.
What the hell did you tell him? Hey I heard you were looking for me.
Will right.
I, uh I need your help with something.
Do you want me to get a supervisor? I just got out of training, like, a week ago.
The older guys are a little by-the-book.
This requires some outside-the-box thinking.
My friend here decided to take a happy nap and I need your help getting him out of the park without the guests or staff waking him.
Oh, wait, is he dead? Like I said, he's taking a happy nap.
Okay, why don't why don't we call the paramedics? It's a little late for that.
No one's ever died at Happyland and it's not about to happen on my watch.
People need to leave smiling, not scarred.
I I don't feel comfortable with this.
Do you feel comfortable having a job? Go get a wheelchair.
Look, could you do me a solid and maybe not tell every guy that you hook up with that you're my dad's love child? Okay, I definitely didn't use the word "love child.
" I'm sure it's fine.
Okay, how much of that night do you actually remember? I'll clear that up.
Hey.
All of this whatever between us is making things weird between me and Harper.
We try and coexist without things being, like, weapons-grade awkward.
I I guess we can tone it down to civilian-use uncomfortable.
So, Noah said the college interns are doing Ricky 360 tonight.
Ricky 360? It's when you drink in every land of the park.
Usually by Buccaneer Bay, they're pretty wasted and no one wants to wear pants.
Noah knows some seniors who can hook us up with drinks in the park.
Y'all wanna go? Absolutely.
Game on.
Are you cool with this new plan? I mean, I can't risk you kissing any other strangers after a few drinks.
That's our meet-cute story.
Sorry.
Elena Velez.
Really? Thank you! Hey, happy graduation! We did it! Sure, we did it.
Oh, let's grab a drink.
Toast to not having to wear corsets and fake eyelashes to work.
I was a Princess Adriana, I wasn't a hooker.
- Yeah.
- Okay, great.
We were just heading up to the new bar in the park with some of the other guys.
Perfect.
Oh, just give me a sec.
My mom just texted me 100 smiley faces and one turtle.
Acrylic nails.
- She passed? - Yeah.
We hardcore crammed all week.
Oh so that's why you've been MIA.
I was worried things were weird or something.
No, why would anything be weird? Well, we've gotta toast to your mom and keep toasting.
Hey, stranger.
Hey.
Hey, Scott.
How fun would it be for you to buy me another round with your magical ID? Whoa lots.
If you have it with me.
Oh, darn, you're sweet, but I'm here with him.
Noah? Come on.
He lives on my floor.
Isn't he a little bit of a lightweight for you? No no, the other one's my datey-boyfriend guy I'm seeing? Ian Chandler? Oh, I thought she and Ian had something going.
No, no.
Noah and Lucy are the cutest, match made in math camp heaven.
Weird, 'cause I was working behind Ricky's rocket a couple weeks ago, she and Ian were going at it hardcore.
Just act normal.
This is how I normally look when I'm rolling a dead body through a theme park.
We we should go underground.
Yeah, well the shortest way is through Enchanted Land.
Not tonight.
Yeah, well, you're not calling the shots, are you? Uh, Sir? We do not allow public intoxication in the park.
We're gonna have to escort your grandfather off the premises.
Yeah.
Sorry, come on, pop-pop.
There we go.
Hey Any of you intoxicated? Okay, come on, let's get out of here.
Oh, Jesus.
To grand night, my ladies.
I'm just happy I landed a decent job.
Berkeley isn't gonna pay for itself.
Student loans, huh? Oh, no, business school.
I'm going in the fall.
Law school.
Wait, how old are you guys? And a half.
Oh.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
So I said my parents at the party.
The truth is, I just don't feel like getting into it.
I don't know my dad.
I well, I know what that's like.
You do? My mom raised me alone, too.
And she made it her mission to make sure that I was the first person in my family to go to college.
That's my plan, too.
Hopefully, I mean.
Assuming I can afford to go anywhere.
I'm happy to talk it over.
Next weekend, dinner? You, me, some financial aid forms Hey.
Lucy, I need you.
FYI, Noah's great when I'm not plastered.
What's wrong? You hooked up with Ian? I knew there was something weird going out with you guys.
It just happened, okay? Before you two got together, I just lost relief partners, I was upset.
- So are you into him or what? - No, not at all.
So why didn't you say something? So, check it out.
We are gonna go kidnap the Ricky statue when everybody's watching fireworks.
You coming? No, she's not, and don't you have a bromance to start or something? Let's do it.
Yes! Yes, red for the win! Woo! Harper, don't.
This is stupid.
Hey look what I found.
I'm sure you two want to spend some time alone anyway.
Harper knows we made out.
And I obviously can't tell her the truth.
Should I talk to her? Not that that's our strong suit.
It's about me, not you.
And, gross.
What the hell was that back there? Ricky 360.
It's an intern tradition.
Not everything's in the handbook.
What do you think? Well, we could go past the maintenance office.
On Fridays, one of the lifer security guards punches out most of the janitors at 10:00.
Makes it look like they worked a full shift.
I'll try not to remember that.
I try not to remember any of this.
Okay, well, come on.
Lead the way, let's go.
Tour guides, watch out.
Woo! Oh, God.
That guy is so cute.
When is he gonna come over here? You can't wait for them to come to you.
You gotta pick what you want and go get it.
Come on.
Let me show you how it's done.
Oh, excuse me.
Hey, Miss Velez.
Ian.
Hi.
What are you doing here? What are you doing here? Aren't you a little young to be doing this stuff? No.
Are you looking for Lucy? Who's Lucy? My daughter.
Who's not that much younger than you.
I think I'm gonna head home.
Summer job celebration.
Yeah this isn't my summer job.
It's just my job.
Have a great night, Miss Velez.
Noah.
So sorry.
Harper is super pissed and I have to do some fun triage.
Can you come with? Steal a statue? I mean, I can't be caught pulling this prank.
Some of these other guys can afford to risk losing their internship, but I can't.
Okay.
I'll be right back.
You know what? It's fine.
You just you go ahead.
But I'm having a really great time.
Good luck with your friend.
Careful with the tail, careful with the tail.
Crazy.
Come on.
Cut it out.
Let's just leave before you get arrested.
Oh, thanks, you're such a great friend.
Can we please just talk about this without you acting crazy.
How should I act when I find out my friend didn't tell me she hooked up with my Guy I'm seeing.
Look, it's just really complicated.
Right, right, so you just lied about it.
I didn't lie, I just didn't tell you.
And you had no problem with me lying to Will when you cheated on him.
Want me to go not lie about that now? How long does it take a supervisor to get here? This better not put me back on probation.
You know, every guy I like seems to like you better.
This is the Will situation all over again.
Will? I thought we were talking about Ian.
By the way, not into him either, because I'm out with Noah.
Oh, scratch that.
I'm not because I ruined that trying to save you from this.
Okay, I get it.
Maybe-maybe you don't like Ian and you were never after Will.
Yes.
Congrats for finally getting what I've always said.
Wasn't Will the only reason that we became friends in the first place? At first, maybe.
Now there's no Will to keep us together.
I guess you're off the hook.
I guess I am.
We got a couple vandals I'm holding over here.
Off-duty employees, Lucy Velez and Harper Monroe.
And also the Ricky statue is missing, over.
Appreciate it.
What's the matter? Nothing, just grandpa funeral flashbacks.
You know.
Good job today.
You really know your way around the park.
There should probably be a glitch in the security footage, right? You know, just to make sure nothing gets documented that shouldn't be documented.
Gotcha.
Ian was right to get you this job.
He did what? After your fight on Happy Lane, he asked me to get you a spot in security.
You didn't know? Well, hey.
Chandlers aren't always so bad.
Now, go erase that footage before we both go to prison.
Hey! Check out the bling ring.
Hey, what are you doing here? I heard your name over the walkie.
Girls night, huh? I think I've seen some Internet clips that start this way.
Can we just get out of here? Luckily, someone erased tonight's security footage.
Thanks, Will.
You guys should probably take off.
I miss you, too.
I thought you'd still be celebrating.
Celebrating what? That I worked my ass off to get a job no one else cares about? You passed the tour guide exam.
You were so excited.
Luc, all the other guys are ten to 15 years younger than me and they're just on their way to something better.
This is my better.
I'm still proud of you.
Does that count? So no luck with Noah? Harper and I got in this thing and he bailed.
It sucks.
That was the first guy in forever that I've actually liked, who's not my brother.
You and your teenage problems.
I'm so sorry, honey.
I don't know.
Maybe the great Lucy-Harper friendship experiment thing is over.
You know, I don't have a lot of friends.
I have you and you're amazing, but sometimes I wish I had more girlfriends my own age.
Maybe we both should.
You didn't text me back.
So? I don't always have an easy time opening up to people.
Friendship isn't like an obligation.
No, I want to.
I didn't tell you about me and Ian because Because you do like him? No.
Because He's my brother.
I still can't.
Whoa.
Whoa! Welcome to my inner monologue.
But Harp, you can't say anything to Ian.
I promised.
Wait until he tells you first.
Wow.
I mean, finding out who your dad is and it's, you know, him Lucy, are you okay? Yeah, totally.
I'm in extreme denial.
Plus, ew, how do you get through doing the whole star-crossed lover thing with Ian all the time? Rocking myself to sleep, mostly.
It's weird.
I felt this crazy connection with him.
I just didn't realize it's because we're related.
It's been most hard not being able to talk to someone about it.
Well, that won't be a problem anymore.
Come here.
Hey, you're gonna be late for work.
You're worth it.
So how'd it go with Harper? She gonna start answering my calls again? We straightened things out.
I think you're good.
I, however, blew things with Noah.
Hey, you had one bad night.
Guys have memories like dogs.
Just wave a treat under his nose and they'll forget you beat 'em with a stick.
Never get a dog.
Just stop by his dorm.
You may have a point.
Hey, this conversation has been not weird.
Nice, even.
Yeah.
Almost like we never made out.
And you ruined it.
Hey, so I ran into your mom last night.
Oh.
Hey.
I think I have the wrong room, I hope.
Lucy? Hey.
My roommate's girlfriend.
We got this, Kiki.
And come on, that's my sheet.
So, I get why you bailed the other night.
There was some other stuff going on.
Stuff that won't be a problem anymore.
If we try again? I won't kidnap anything.
No statues, no popcorn machines.
No children.
No kidnapping of any kind.
In that case, we did say we were gonna hang out this weekend.
Oh, shoot.
This weekend, I was gonna blow up the carousel.
We got this, Kiki.
Next time on Happyland My Work Study is in mission, so come with me this weekend.
Road trip? Amazing! It'd be even more amazing if there was a chance I'd let you go.
He just wants to get you into his dorm room.
Since when do road trips mean sleeping together? We're talking about a college visit, not my sex life.
I said no!