Harvey Beaks (2015) s01e05 Episode Script

1 Harvey Harvey Harvey Hey, Harvey, what are you doing in the bathroom? You taking a bath? - Whoa.
- Oh, hey, guys.
I'm just doing my daily moisturizing.
It's important to keep your skin hydrated.
Oh, man.
Here, Fee.
I think you need this.
Your skin looks like a desert.
Whoa.
That's cool.
Oh, this scar? I got it from wrestling with a giant.
All right, dude.
You want to go? You want to go? I don't think you want to go.
Ugh! - It was fun.
- I got a scar too.
This one's from hugging a wolverine trap, and this one's from hugging a wolverine.
- Whoa.
- What about you? I bet you have some cool stories about your scars.
Oh, uh, yeah.
Sure I do.
I've got a birthmark in the shape of a mermaid.
That's really pretty.
No, Harvey.
That's not a real scar.
I bet I have scars all over the place.
Nope, definitely no scars there.
Nothing down there either.
I hate to break it to you, buddy.
- You're smooth as a newborn baby.
- Aw, man.
I can't believe this.
This needs to be fixed immediately right after I put these back on.
- Dang it! - What you doing? Gonna give myself an extreme paper cut so I can have a scar too.
Dang it.
Dude, you're never gonna get a scar that way, unless you, like, pass out from boredom and hit your head on a sword or something.
Do you have any swords around here? Let me find you a sword.
Why do you even want a scar so bad? I mean, you guys are cool, and you have a bunch of scars, and I'm really cool, and I don't have any.
It just seems like I should catch up, you know? We are pretty cool.
Raah! I can't make myself hurt myself! Aw, come on, it's easy.
Watch.
- Ow.
Ow.
Ouch.
- Ugh.
Ow.
This is hard.
All right, I can't do this, but you're weirdly talented at it.
So here's what's gonna happen - you're gonna give me a scar.
- That sounds super fun, but I don't think you really want a scar.
- Scars are forever, man.
- I do want one, super bad! You have to promise to give me a scar.
Okay.
We promise.
No, I'm serious.
You have to swear to give me a scar.
Okay.
We swear.
You have to pinkie swear.
- Pinkie swear - Even if later, I tell you to stop, you can't go back on your pinkie swear.
The pinkie swear is, as you know, unbreakable.
Very well.
We pinkie swear.
Sweet.
Will it hurt a lot? Nah.
The worst part is the anticipation.
But you won't have to worry about that, because you'll never see it coming.
Okay, sounds good.
See you guys later.
I'm gonna get some juice.
Cool guys get scars and juice.
Whoa! What was that?! Quit walking so weird.
You're making it hard to hit you.
O-Okay, cool.
But, you know what? I think I'm gonna go put on my bike helmet.
I mean, I'm trying to get a scar, not a concussion, right? - Wow! - Dang it.
O-Okay, I'm just gonna put on my dad's safety goggles.
I mean, nobody wants scars on their eyes.
Whoa! Okay, well, maybe let's just protect my hands.
And a mouth guard.
Okay, game on.
Whoa! - Ah! - What the heck, man? Do you want a scar, or don't you? Uh I do? Ugh.
I know they're out there, but why aren't they coming for me? Fee? Foo? Are you hiding in here? Time-out on the scar thing, okay? Foo? Fee? Fee? Foo? Hey, pal.
I brought you some They were outside this whole time? Okay, this pinkie swear is turning into a stinky swear.
Got to find a way to get out of it.
Hey, guys, great news you don't have to attack me anymore.
Kratz? Claire? Sorry, Harvey.
- Yah! - Whoa! All right, buddy, let's get you a scar.
No, no, no! You don't have to! Look, I already got one.
See? Super-cool scar.
Ooh, that is a good one.
I guess we don't have to throw you in there.
- What is that? - I don't know.
Pretty sure it would've given you a scar somehow, though.
So, how'd you do it? - Yeah, did you find a sword? - Yes.
I took your advice.
I got really bored and fell asleep, and my head landed a sword.
Wait a minute.
How did the scar heal so quickly? Well, uh The sword was really hot because I left it out in the sun and it, like, "clotterized" the wound right away.
It's a fake.
Mmm, fruit snack.
Harvey, come out and play with us! All right, you guys, Harvey's not coming out.
He wants to see you inside, and make sure you don't bring any harm Aw, man.
It's just you.
Like I said, Harvey wants to meet with you, and I'll act as moderator.
It's okay to come out.
They're unarmed.
Uh, what are you wearing? It looks ridiculous.
How dare you question Harvey's fashion choices? It's okay, Dade.
It's just a little extra padding.
But how are we supposed to give you a scar - with all that on? - That's what That's what I wanted to talk to you about.
You see, I don't really need a scar to have an adventure.
I have adventures all the time.
This whole day's been an adventure.
It's not the scars that make the experience.
It's the experience that makes the scars but not.
And with that, I rest my case.
Dade? I don't know what he said, but I agree.
So you want us to stop trying to give you a scar? That's pretty much it.
- Are you sure? - Definitely.
No scars.
- Okay, I guess we'll leave you alone now.
- Bye, Harvey.
Wow.
Thanks for understanding.
- I can finally take this stuff off.
- Oh, here, let me help.
We promised to give you a scar! - I know this is all part of your plan! - Why is this happening? Hold still, Harvey.
- Get back here, Harvey! - We pinkie swore! End of the line.
Whoa! Hey, this is the thing we were gonna throw Harvey in.
Be careful, guys! - That plant looks dangerous.
- No big deal.
Just got to climb up the tree.
- Ooh, a bug.
- Foo, no! Bug! Ooh.
Bug! No! Harvey, you saved us.
Does it hurt? I think I'm okay.
Are you guys all right? I didn't get that bug.
Come on, let's get out of this thing.
- Let's go, Harvey.
- Hold on.
This is tricky.
All right careful.
- Gently almost - It's clogged? Eric, how many times have I told you not to put your pillows in here? It's so dangerous.
Oh, yes, there we go.
- Oh, no! - He was so brave.
He sacrificed himself so we could get out.
Come on, we should pick up his remains.
- Hey, you're okay.
- Am I? I am! All your "lotioning" made it so you slid right through.
- Not a scratch on you.
- Are you serious? I couldn't even get a scar out of that? You don't need a scar to be cool, man.
You just jumped into that crazy wood-chipper thing to save us.
- That was the coolest thing ever.
- I'm gonna tell everybody.
Ow! Ow! Ow! What the all the padding chafed my thighs.
Whoa.
Looks like you're gonna get a scar after all.
- You mean it? - Yep.
Congratulations, dude.
I'm so happy for you.
Now there's only one thing left to do.
Why is Harvey in his underwear? - You touch it.
- I'm not gonna touch it.
Who knows how many germs are on that thing? - A whole lot of germs.
- So is it dead or what? It's a tail.
I can tell because this end smells like butt.
- Ew.
- Kiss it.
Kiss it.
Kiss it.
- Get that thing away from me.
- Let me see that.
Cool.
It still works.
Ha! - You okay, dude? - I think my legs are broken.
Wait, no, they're just dirty.
Who knew having a tail would be this cool? It's like the best thing that's ever happened to my butt.
Oh, this? It's my new bangs.
Thanks for noticing.
See how they sway in the wind.
Ha ha.
It's funny, 'cause it's like your hair, but it's not really your hair.
Foo, go find some more stuff for us to knock down.
Okey-dokey.
I'm strong.
Wait, I'm supposed to find stuff to knock over.
Nope, too rocky.
Too tree-y.
Wait, I already tried this.
Whoa.
Just spin the tail really fast like a propeller.
Got it.
Did it work? Heck yeah.
It totally slowed your fall.
Looks like a nut.
There's something inside.
Yeah, nut guts.
Whoa.
It's a tiny note.
I wonder who - Well, don't read it.
- Why not? 'Cause you always use that weird voice when you read stuff.
I do not use a weird voice.
Okay, fine.
I'll just read to myself then.
Oh, my gosh! You won't believe what it says! What? We have your brother.
Give us back Right there.
You're doing the weird voice.
You're missing the point.
It says the tail belongs to the squirrels.
And if they don't get it back, they're gonna do something bad to Foo.
What? I gotta I gotta find him! I'm coming for ya, Foo.
Fee, wait.
We just gotta give 'em back the tail.
I'm not giving them my tail.
They have no right to take it from me just like they had no right to take my brother! They both belong to me! They made me go blind with rage.
You stupid tree rats! When I get my Uh What the Harvey! - Some stupid moron tied me up.
- Hey, I tied you up.
Since you're a little too emotionally charged, why don't I go talk to the squirrels and defuse this whole thing? You can't talk to those nut crunchers.
The only thing they understand is me beating their heads in.
No, we can do this without violence.
I'm pretty sure I'm a really good negotiator.
Just stay put, okay.
Here's a bottle of water so you won't get dehydrated.
Uh I'll be back soon, okay? Harvey, get back here and untie me! Hang on, Foo.
Nothing's going to stop me from saving you.
Whoa.
So hello everyone.
My name is Harvey Beaks and I'm here to negotiate a deal that will help all of us.
Hey, Harvey, the squirrels are having a party, except there's no music and they just tie you up.
I'm just waiting for the pizza to arrive.
- I told you, there's no pizza.
- Cool.
First, let's go around the room and introduce ourselves.
Like I said.
My name's Harvey.
I like ice cream, especially mint chocolate chip.
And I like sunsets and I like my mom and dad.
They're really great.
Okay, who's next? I'm Foo.
I'm tied up.
I am Jean-Luc.
This is Jean-Claude, Sean-Jean.
Billi-Jean.
Long-Jean.
And our leader Papa-Jean, who you are currently sitting on.
Oh, my gosh! I'm so sorry! I thought he was a beanbag.
Enough chitty-chats! Did you bring the tail? No, but I think that Oh.
Then we are done with the negotiating.
Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa Who's dumb idea was this scavenger hunt? Crafts, you find any good leaves? Who can tell? They all look the same.
Uh, this hurts my brain.
Crafts, are you okay? I think a tree just threw up all over me.
Wait a minute.
That's Fee.
Don't leave her on me! She might eat me.
Okay, hang on.
Oy.
Oy.
Hey, I don't have this leaf yet.
Whoa.
When did Fee get a tail? Mine! Let go of her! Let go! Ow.
- Ugh.
- Why'd you try to eat Krafts? Wait, who is that? - Dade.
- Oh, tattle-pants.
- I don't I'm not - You kinda are.
Dude, I really need your help.
- Those jerk squirrels took my brother.
- What? They took Foo? Is he okay? Does he love me? What did Foo do to them? Something jerky I bet.
And what's wrong with your eyes? I don't have time for your questions, bunny.
We should help her.
You guys.
She's bad news.
And I got a policy against bad news.
- It's a nut with a note.
- Whoa.
A nut note.
- It says they captured Harvey.
- They got Harvey? - I gotta go tell my mom.
- No! No tattling.
But they got Harvey.
What do we do? We do what Harvey wanted to do.
We negotiate.
But we do it my way.
What is taking so long? Where is the girl? Hey! Hey! I said, hey! - Is this clock real? Oops.
- What? Why would you do that? Go back to your corner.
Uh, excuse me.
I need to use the restroom.
Oh, no.
Can you not hold it? I have a tiny bladder.
My mom says it's genetic.
Sean-Jean, show him to the toilet.
And you, do not touch that.
Oops.
Oh, oh no.
How how am I even supposed to Uh all right.
This isn't gonna be pretty.
Now you stay there and don't move again.
All right, you buzz brains, I'm here to talk.
I came alone and unarmed.
No tricks or games whatsoever.
Bless you.
Listen up barf cakes.
I found this tail.
And that makes it mine.
But you guys are thieves.
You stole my brother and my friend.
So I'm giving you one chance to live.
Give us back the tail and we are through.
Never.
Well, the joke's on you.
I'm not alone.
Surprise, idiots! Oh! It's a trick! I totally did not see that coming.
Everyone attack! She's out of control.
- Take that.
- Uh.
Oh, the pain.
Wait.
It's skunk.
Guys, I'm so sorry.
Does anyone have a lot of paper towels? Whoa! - What's going on? Ow.
- Harvey! Everything's gonna be okay buddy.
- Uh, Dade - I got Harvey.
And I have Foo.
Ugh.
Come on people.
Let's get out of here! - That was crazy.
- Man, we showed those fools good.
Now they know if you mess with the horned animal, you get the horns.
Uh, yes, but what we want is the tail.
- Ow! - That's right.
As long as you have the tail you will never be safe.
We will always be there right behind you, throwing nuts and being annoying.
Sorry little tail.
We had some good times you and me.
And you really made my butt feel complete.
But we can't be together no more because I have a couple of folks that are pretty much a billion times more important to me.
- It's really mature of you, dude.
- Shut up.
I know.
Come get your stupid tail already.
I don't want it anymore.
Ha.
I'm glad one of you is smart.
Seriously, your friend and brother are both such incredible dumb-dumbs.
- I am glad to be rid of those pests.
- You know what? - I changed my mind.
- No! Ugh! Oh, no! Damned! That's what you get talking smack about my family.
Come on, dudes.
Let's go home.
I think you look better without it anyway.
Yeah, I know you're lying.
But thanks.
20 leaves! We can do this.
I liked it better with the squirrels.