Hellfjord (2012) s01e05 Episode Script
Episode 5
Hell fjård.
There you'll be for 3 months
as district sheriff.
Then you're done,
and I will never see you again.
-What the fuck was that?
-Our sea serpent.
My Icelandic escape buddy
told me his brother was terrorized
by a mad Swede in Hellfjord.
South Mexican cactus lice in boxes at
your fish plant. Can you explain?
I feel like taking a trip
to Hellfish later today,
see if I can find out more.
-Hellfish. We
-Hellfish?
We have to
get to the fish plant.
Come!
Look!
What are they doing?
Those are human bones!
5 minutes smoking break.
Hurry up!
Come, check it out.
Take a close look, come on!
Salmander.
Pig!
No. It's pig!
Well, we're gonna paint it maybe in green,
yellow or black, or something.
Eh can you wait?
Hush!
Load up the sea serpent.
What the fuck
what the fuck was that?
Are you OK?
What do we do with this?
Go to the mainland,
find out all you can about Bosse.
Where he comes from,
where he grew up.
-Everything.
-Yes.
And you?
Heard he talked about a kind of serpent,
must be the sea serpent.
I thought maybe
I should pay a visit to
Tulla.
At sea?
What's so important that you have to drag me
out of the hammock at 3 a.m.?
If I don't get my 16 hours of sleep,
I'm not that fucking easy to deal with.
Come on, Kobba.
-We'll look more closely at our sea serpent.
-Tulla?
Check out Tulla?
Are you crazy?
It isn't a tame dolphin
we're dealing with.
She'll bite your head off
and spit it back in your face!
Ancient superstition.
-The serpent isn't what it pretends to be.
-What are you saying?
How will you get out to sea
when you get seasick doing the dishes?
Hope it doesn't affect my aim.
Come on!
Kobba!
Let's get that boat out.
Have you heard the saying
"we're all in the same boat"?
Mm mm. I have.
Well
I haven't.
Try throwing out these
if the sea serpent starts snapping at you.
Come on!
Mewling quim!
Quim.
Great sea monster!
Forgive him.
He knowest not his ways.
Spare the brown heathen!
Ahoy!
Who's there?
I'm armed with fire.
If it's you, serpent, I was totally
against him terrorizing you at night.
Relax. It's just me.
Yes.
So it's you.
What was that?
Sorry, just verifying
that you're not a ghost.
There's something out there.
Something.
Drive me home.
Yes.
Excellent work, boys. Good.
Goody goody good good.
A nasty habit, eh?
Nicotine?
Trying to quit smoking.
Leif!
Looks like we've got a fly in our soup.
Drown it.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Still awake?
-Yes.
-Why up so late?
-Best movies on cable starts after midnight.
OK.
Where have you been,
coming home sweaty and exhausted?
-Been at work.
-I see.
I'm going to bed now.
If you had stayed here,
I would have worked you over.
Yes. I think I'm going to bed now.
-Good night.
-Good night.
You pussy tease, you.
Someone's enjoying both taco and salami.
I hope you're lubed up, boys.
Come on,
show him who's the boss.
No, that
that's too rough for me.
Yes.
That was both fast and hard.
Dad used to do that on me
when I was little.
He said monkeys do this on their children
if they're stressed or scared.
Calms them down, apparently.
Yeah, well, you know
I thought they were enjoying themselves
Well, the young folks like it
rough these days.
Oh
Damn nice fillet knife, that one.
Just like the ones
they use at Hellfish.
What was that?
Damn nice fillet knife, that one.
Just like the ones
they use at
H e l l f i s h.
Hellfish, right.
OK.
I don't really know Kobba.
Not sure what
we've come across.
All I know is that it's something
big.
Since they're willing to kill
a policeman to hide it.
Up here we're not snobbish about it.
Doesn't take so much
to get ones head cut off a little.
Be sure of one thing, Kobba,
they're going to regret this.
They will regret it.
-Hi.
-Hi.
Hi.
-Is Salmander home?
-Yes.
Did you step on a chewing gum?
-He's at home.
-Yeah, what's left of him.
Just kidding.
But not really.
He's so disgusting,
that little curly haired boy.
Oops, sorry.
-Like this?
-Yes.
Bosse Nova doesn't own Hellfish.
He's not the boss.
The ownership is on Iceland. That's why
there are so many Icelanders here.
Bosse Nova is hired as the general manager.
The actual manager,
his name is Gord
Gard Gardfinn Borgadottir.
I found out he is a
semi criminal business guy
who lives in Reykjavik.
Sorry.
There.
I got hold of Bosses
Swedish criminal record.
Let me tell you, Salmander
Bosse has smuggled loads of drugs.
-Drugs?
-Yes, he's been sentenced for it many times.
In the 90's, he was one of
Northern Europe's best smugglers.
Bosse was famous for finding all
sorts of ways to export the drugs.
I find it quite strange that
Northern Europe's biggest
drugs smuggler is hired
as boss on a fish plant
up in Norway's boondocks.
O!
Sorry.
Not bad.
-No.
-Not bad at all.
You're good.
Thanks.
-I haven't been loafing around, either.
-No, I can see that.
Know what I found out?
You know the sea serpent
that apparently lives out in the ocean?
It's no sea serpent.
I think it's a submarine.
No. OK
No, I'm not going to debate it
No.
Okay. Yes, I understand that.
I Yes, I see that.
Damn it!
Fuck!
Fuck, is that you?
You scared me.
Give me some good news now.
It went well, I hope?
Eh
Salamander is?
Didn't go quite as planned.
Tell it like it is, you fucking gorilla.
Is he dead or not?
Not quite.
OK.
Thanks for this time.
What?
But what the hell?
But
Cocksucker!
Yes
OK, folks.
Arms and equipment.
We're going to raid Hellfish.
-Can it wait until after the radio bingo?
-Now!
Want more?
-So you're coming, too?
-Yes.
That broad will hit her target,
I promise.
She hit the bullseye with this guy.
Yes. Are we ready?
OK.
Let's raidiate.
Don't think raidiate is a word.
Raidiate, sure. It's a word.
I don't think so.
-I use raidiate.
-I'm quite certain it's not a word.
I play Scrabble, using the word.
I'm educated as a journalist,
and raidiate is not an existing word.
How do you conjugate raid?
Salmander!
Telephone!
-Salamander?
-Yes.
It's Fiks.
Your time of notice has ended.
-But
-Remember?
3 months have passed. You're no
longer district sheriff. You're done.
-Your plane leaves tomorrow, so go and pack!
-But I've just--
You're a civilian, not police anymore.
You have no business in Hellfjord.
Be on that plane tomorrow!
If not, the consequences will be severe.
Is that understood?
Yes.
What?
What's happening?
I must return to Oslo.
Now?
Yes
Let's go fuck.
Have a nice trip.
There you'll be for 3 months
as district sheriff.
Then you're done,
and I will never see you again.
-What the fuck was that?
-Our sea serpent.
My Icelandic escape buddy
told me his brother was terrorized
by a mad Swede in Hellfjord.
South Mexican cactus lice in boxes at
your fish plant. Can you explain?
I feel like taking a trip
to Hellfish later today,
see if I can find out more.
-Hellfish. We
-Hellfish?
We have to
get to the fish plant.
Come!
Look!
What are they doing?
Those are human bones!
5 minutes smoking break.
Hurry up!
Come, check it out.
Take a close look, come on!
Salmander.
Pig!
No. It's pig!
Well, we're gonna paint it maybe in green,
yellow or black, or something.
Eh can you wait?
Hush!
Load up the sea serpent.
What the fuck
what the fuck was that?
Are you OK?
What do we do with this?
Go to the mainland,
find out all you can about Bosse.
Where he comes from,
where he grew up.
-Everything.
-Yes.
And you?
Heard he talked about a kind of serpent,
must be the sea serpent.
I thought maybe
I should pay a visit to
Tulla.
At sea?
What's so important that you have to drag me
out of the hammock at 3 a.m.?
If I don't get my 16 hours of sleep,
I'm not that fucking easy to deal with.
Come on, Kobba.
-We'll look more closely at our sea serpent.
-Tulla?
Check out Tulla?
Are you crazy?
It isn't a tame dolphin
we're dealing with.
She'll bite your head off
and spit it back in your face!
Ancient superstition.
-The serpent isn't what it pretends to be.
-What are you saying?
How will you get out to sea
when you get seasick doing the dishes?
Hope it doesn't affect my aim.
Come on!
Kobba!
Let's get that boat out.
Have you heard the saying
"we're all in the same boat"?
Mm mm. I have.
Well
I haven't.
Try throwing out these
if the sea serpent starts snapping at you.
Come on!
Mewling quim!
Quim.
Great sea monster!
Forgive him.
He knowest not his ways.
Spare the brown heathen!
Ahoy!
Who's there?
I'm armed with fire.
If it's you, serpent, I was totally
against him terrorizing you at night.
Relax. It's just me.
Yes.
So it's you.
What was that?
Sorry, just verifying
that you're not a ghost.
There's something out there.
Something.
Drive me home.
Yes.
Excellent work, boys. Good.
Goody goody good good.
A nasty habit, eh?
Nicotine?
Trying to quit smoking.
Leif!
Looks like we've got a fly in our soup.
Drown it.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Still awake?
-Yes.
-Why up so late?
-Best movies on cable starts after midnight.
OK.
Where have you been,
coming home sweaty and exhausted?
-Been at work.
-I see.
I'm going to bed now.
If you had stayed here,
I would have worked you over.
Yes. I think I'm going to bed now.
-Good night.
-Good night.
You pussy tease, you.
Someone's enjoying both taco and salami.
I hope you're lubed up, boys.
Come on,
show him who's the boss.
No, that
that's too rough for me.
Yes.
That was both fast and hard.
Dad used to do that on me
when I was little.
He said monkeys do this on their children
if they're stressed or scared.
Calms them down, apparently.
Yeah, well, you know
I thought they were enjoying themselves
Well, the young folks like it
rough these days.
Oh
Damn nice fillet knife, that one.
Just like the ones
they use at Hellfish.
What was that?
Damn nice fillet knife, that one.
Just like the ones
they use at
H e l l f i s h.
Hellfish, right.
OK.
I don't really know Kobba.
Not sure what
we've come across.
All I know is that it's something
big.
Since they're willing to kill
a policeman to hide it.
Up here we're not snobbish about it.
Doesn't take so much
to get ones head cut off a little.
Be sure of one thing, Kobba,
they're going to regret this.
They will regret it.
-Hi.
-Hi.
Hi.
-Is Salmander home?
-Yes.
Did you step on a chewing gum?
-He's at home.
-Yeah, what's left of him.
Just kidding.
But not really.
He's so disgusting,
that little curly haired boy.
Oops, sorry.
-Like this?
-Yes.
Bosse Nova doesn't own Hellfish.
He's not the boss.
The ownership is on Iceland. That's why
there are so many Icelanders here.
Bosse Nova is hired as the general manager.
The actual manager,
his name is Gord
Gard Gardfinn Borgadottir.
I found out he is a
semi criminal business guy
who lives in Reykjavik.
Sorry.
There.
I got hold of Bosses
Swedish criminal record.
Let me tell you, Salmander
Bosse has smuggled loads of drugs.
-Drugs?
-Yes, he's been sentenced for it many times.
In the 90's, he was one of
Northern Europe's best smugglers.
Bosse was famous for finding all
sorts of ways to export the drugs.
I find it quite strange that
Northern Europe's biggest
drugs smuggler is hired
as boss on a fish plant
up in Norway's boondocks.
O!
Sorry.
Not bad.
-No.
-Not bad at all.
You're good.
Thanks.
-I haven't been loafing around, either.
-No, I can see that.
Know what I found out?
You know the sea serpent
that apparently lives out in the ocean?
It's no sea serpent.
I think it's a submarine.
No. OK
No, I'm not going to debate it
No.
Okay. Yes, I understand that.
I Yes, I see that.
Damn it!
Fuck!
Fuck, is that you?
You scared me.
Give me some good news now.
It went well, I hope?
Eh
Salamander is?
Didn't go quite as planned.
Tell it like it is, you fucking gorilla.
Is he dead or not?
Not quite.
OK.
Thanks for this time.
What?
But what the hell?
But
Cocksucker!
Yes
OK, folks.
Arms and equipment.
We're going to raid Hellfish.
-Can it wait until after the radio bingo?
-Now!
Want more?
-So you're coming, too?
-Yes.
That broad will hit her target,
I promise.
She hit the bullseye with this guy.
Yes. Are we ready?
OK.
Let's raidiate.
Don't think raidiate is a word.
Raidiate, sure. It's a word.
I don't think so.
-I use raidiate.
-I'm quite certain it's not a word.
I play Scrabble, using the word.
I'm educated as a journalist,
and raidiate is not an existing word.
How do you conjugate raid?
Salmander!
Telephone!
-Salamander?
-Yes.
It's Fiks.
Your time of notice has ended.
-But
-Remember?
3 months have passed. You're no
longer district sheriff. You're done.
-Your plane leaves tomorrow, so go and pack!
-But I've just--
You're a civilian, not police anymore.
You have no business in Hellfjord.
Be on that plane tomorrow!
If not, the consequences will be severe.
Is that understood?
Yes.
What?
What's happening?
I must return to Oslo.
Now?
Yes
Let's go fuck.
Have a nice trip.