Hello Tomorrow! (2023) s01e05 Episode Script
From the Desk of Stanley Jenkins
1
["BLUE MOON" PLAYING ON RADIO]
How much longer, Pa?
Should get there by tonight, I reckon.
And then blast off to our new life.
You sure I'll like it up there?
Well, they got everything you
like down here, only better.
That's what Jack said.
[MUSIC STOPS]
One-and-a-half baths.
Two sinks in the master.
His, hers, side by side. Bing bang.
I'll talk to Jack today. Make
sure we're on the next launch.
Ooh, you say "launch"
again, and I am a puddle.
[CHUCKLES]
- Launch.
- Uh-huh, and I'm a puddle.
- [RETCHING]
- [WATER SPLASHING]
I could share this moment with you
by holding your hair
like in the baby book.
No, Herbie, this is my job.
You go do yours by
selling us up to the top.
[RETCHING]
[RETCHING]
[COUGHS, EXHALES DEEPLY]
It's time you know something, Joe.
Uh, well, maybe maybe past time.
I couldn't be happier to
have you as my son. [CHUCKLES]
"Have you"?
[KNOCKS ON DOOR]
Be right there, Jack.
As a "sudorbinate" of the court.
I hold you, Joseph Shorter,
in contempt for sales in
violation of court order F6-B.
[JOEY] W What is this?
[STAMMERS] What's going on?
Compulsory Questioning Prompt C.
[OFFICERBOT] You're wanted
for questioning.
Please proceed peacefully
to the questioning location.
Just our club's little seasonal mixer,
but no shortage of sharp
money minds there, Jack.
Got 'em thinking Lunar
Residential is a great investment.
[CHUCKLING] And I am not taking "No."
- [SHIRLEY] Too bad we can't sell.
- So, see you and yours tonight.
All right, well, let's just
grab as many leads as we can.
We'll go back and sell them
when this legal thing clears.
Yeah, I'm still hounding
accounting on that.
So [SIGHS] how'd
Joey take the news?
[SIGHS] Telling him tonight.
[CHUCKLES] All in the timing, right?
Mmm.
Well, turns out I got
something to tell you too.
[SIGHS] So Ed's been saving up,
and he got himself a nice B-Plex.
[STAMMERS] Oh.
I'm heading up there with him.
[CHUCKLING] Wow.
Wow.
Shirley [CLICKS TONGUE]
that's incredible!
I had a hunch about you two.
Oh, I thought we hid
it better than that.
Hope we can squeeze
into the next launch.
Oh, of course.
Of course. Whoa, you two are
gonna love it up there. [CHUCKLES]
- You've been good to me, Jack.
- [JACK CHUCKLES]
[SIGHS] Well, I can't
pretend I'll ever replace you.
Don't get all weepy yet.
[CHUCKLES] Hey, uh,
when you get up there,
give those pinheads in
accounting hell for me, okay?
And, uh, let me know what
HQ looks like. I'm curious.
What?
- What?
- You've never been up there?
I told you that, Shirley.
My family there wasn't
[STAMMERS, SIGHS]
Don't rake me over the
coals about it again.
Right.
Anyway, thanks for riding HQ
for those forms that we needed.
I've been calling Jenkins
and getting nowhere.
Yeah, he's just been
allergic to the phone
ever since we hit that
snag with the county.
- [SIGHS] Christ.
- What timing, huh?
Not like him.
[SHIRLEY SCOFFS]
- No, no, it's
- [SIGHS]
just business. You expect
it to run smooth? [CHUCKLES]
I don't get it [STUTTERS]
did we do something wrong?
Clearly.
The extent is what we're
currently determining.
[BEEPS]
Deposition 1A.
Defendant Joseph Shorter,
junior sales associate.
Violation 546.L3,
Brightside "corportation."
How long am I gonna be here?
Statutory limits allow
16 hours detainment
in the interests of
rigor and thoroughness.
There's a great new
market for me to excel in
- at the Country Club mixer tonight.
- [GASPS]
That sounds fancy. I've
got the perfect dress.
Oh, I think it might just
be for salespeople, Bun Bun.
Mmm, I'm your wife. [CHUCKLES]
Anything for you, I'm included.
Automatic. Those are the rules.
Perfect.
And all the selling should go even
better than usual with Joey in jail.
Sadly.
Oh. Oh?
I know. Try so hard to
see the good in people,
but what good is a person that
lives a double life as
a deplorable criminal?
So, what did Jack say about it?
Nah, I think it's best
that he doesn't know.
And that way, Joey can face
his consequences alone and grow.
- Mmm.
- Even if that does mean
he misses this evening's
great opportunity.
I don't know, Herbie.
What if [CHUCKLES]
Jack being angry with him,
maybe even taking away his job,
is exactly the consequence
Joey needs to face?
I just want you to take
the high road here, Herbie.
- You're right.
- [CHUCKLING]
- You're my rock.
- [GIGGLES]
- All three of you. My rocks. [CHUCKLES]
- [CHUCKLES]
From the desk, meh
- Urgent.
- [BEEPING]
From the desk of Stanley
Jenkins, Lunar HQ.
To Miss Shirley Stedman.
Ed, you ever wonder if the moon's
not all it's cracked up to be?
Well, most things aren't.
But also, if it's you and me, then
what's better than that, right?
Right?
This isn't about your
domestic past, is it?
Which you have repeatedly
called a lost cause, I might add.
No, no, no. I've made
my peace with that.
I was just just
talking about up there.
Just thinking it out. [SIGHS]
Talking and thinking, Shirley,
that's a lethal combination
when we've got a future to embrace.
I'll embrace it when we get there.
Miss Shirley Stedman,
please. Miss Shirley Stedman.
What? What is it?
'Cause if it's more talking and
thinking, I'm not sure I'm in the mood.
Sure.
Shirl. Shirley.
[STAMMERS] It's a new day for us!
Can't just dip a toe in and
get halfway pregnant, huh?
[SIGHS]
And you have no knowledge who
could provide necessary records
of "incorportation," taxpayer
IDs, or tabulated gross receipts.
I-I don't even know what those
are. All All I do is sell.
They're figures, Mr. Shorter,
which "costitute" the
entity's legal standing.
[STAMMERS] Jack's gotta
know about all that.
He deals with HQ every day.
He's your direct superior?
Yeah, yeah. Jack Billings. Aw,
he's he's a great guy. Really.
Just talk to him. He'll
clear everything up, I'm sure.
[PEN WRITING]
That's not gonna get him in
trouble, me saying his name, right?
Look sharp, kid. Wheels up in
five. Your girl's waiting for ya.
Good evening, sir.
Joey! [CHUCKLING] You with me here, Joe?
- We need to talk.
- Hey, you seen Joey? He's gonna be late.
He's a big boy, Dad. He'll be there.
Heard anything from Jenkins?
Yes, I left word. Told him it was
urgent. We'll get it all sorted.
He sent me this.
Jack.
You'll be glad to know because
the truth is always best,
no matter how difficult.
Joey has been taken by
the authorities, sadly.
Oh, uh [STAMMERS]
okay, uh, I'll handle
it. [STAMMERS] Uh, yeah.
Probably nothing, right?
Right, right, right.
You guys just get to the
club. Warm up the room.
Whatever this is, it can wait.
Yeah, you just go take
care of, uh, Joey. [SIGHS]
[SOFTLY] Okay.
- I I think I already told you that.
- [DOOR OPENS]
All right, all right. [SIGHS]
We're done here, Agent Costopoulos.
Come on, Joe. Let's get you out of here.
That's great work, pal.
Crucifying an honest goddamn
salesman over paperwork.
What a big man.
[JOEY] Thanks, Jack.
What for? You're the one who
had to put up with all that.
- How long did he have you in there?
- [JOEY SIGHS] All day.
I didn't honestly really know
- much of what he was asking about.
- That's all a bunch of nothing.
A couple of forms the geniuses
at HQ forgot to send in.
I let him have it.
They snapped right to.
- He try to scare you a little?
- Pulled that off pretty good.
Couldn't help but think what my mom
was gonna do if I got in trouble.
- It was awful, Jack.
- Hey, but you took it like a pro.
That's all that counts. Herb
would've chewed through his tie.
[CLICKS TONGUE] Yeah, don't worry.
I won't make a habit out of
you bailing me out like this.
Not your fault.
Not any of ours. Not for a minute.
- [CHUCKLES] There you go.
- [CHUCKLES]
Hey, let's get over there.
Your suit's in the car,
- and your girl's saving her first dance.
- [CHUCKLES]
In a room full of pretty
deep pockets, right?
- [JACK CHUCKLES]
- [JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
[CHUCKLES]
[CROONERBOT] Having a good
night, folks? I know I am.
[PHYLLIS] Excuse me.
- Bonsoir.
- Hey. [CHUCKLES]
Hey. Glad you guys made it.
Thanks. Jack and Joey will be here soon.
Call ran long with some developers.
Hmm, sounds important. Cheers.
Cheers.
[PHYLLIS] Easy sales tonight.
They're all rich and drunk.
Phil Montez.
I'm sure Jack warned you
that there would be dancing.
Who says you can't mix
business with pleasure?
Welcome, guests. Enjoy
the Autumnal Mixer.
I'm Herbert's plus-one. [CHUCKLES]
He gets one, they told us.
We're married, and expecting.
- Enjoy your evening.
- Welcome, guests.
- Enjoy the Autumnal Mixer.
- How are ya?
With apologies.
Our club's dress code prohibits
suiting with embellished trim.
And while there's no mandate against,
we actively discourage wide lapels.
But that's discriminatory
versus good taste, isn't it?
It's tradition.
Look, my girlfriend's in there with
the fucking cardigan brigade, okay?
She needs me. All right,
okay, all right, okay! Okay.
[VALETBOT] Welcome, guests.
Enjoy the Autumnal Mixer.
[MYRTLE] So you just let him go?
Management was able to provide
copies of "revelant" documentation,
rendering the
"oringinating" case closed.
- Show me. Maybe we can use it.
- But that's county property, Mrs. Mayburn.
Which I'm "oglibated" by
protocol to destroy promptly.
What fucking good is protocol
if it doesn't help anybody?
This system is the "culnimation"
of thousands of years of human history.
Generations of civil servants
dedicating their time and labor.
It's It's bigger than
you or me, Mrs. Mayburn.
And it's better that way.
Please.
I know you wanna help. And you can.
[BREATHES SHAKILY]
Your contract guarantees a refund.
God, not if I walked out on everything.
Halfway burned down the house
Oh. I hope it was properly insured.
I'm so
[SIGHS]
Take the refund.
Wow.
[WHISTLES] That's a warm room.
I bet I could close three.
You think you can top that?
Well, you know, back in the war
- I never backed down from a challenge.
- [CHUCKLES]
Oh, hey.
Well, go take her for a spin.
Let the world know you're a wanted man.
Thanks again, Jack.
You count on it.
What a night. How's everyone doing?
Hi.
[EDDIE] Oh, my God.
That was fast, Shirley.
Goddamn it.
[JACK] Well, you're gonna
love your new A-Plex.
[PEG] I'm sure I will.
- Hey, sweetheart.
- Yes?
Uh, who is that over there?
That tramp slept her way
into Norm Selwyn's fortune.
May he rest in peace.
- Hmm.
- This is her goddamn club now,
and mostly her town.
But good Lord, I'd kill to
have her figure. [CHUCKLES]
Herbie, this is where we belong.
There's Joey.
He rehabilitated pretty quickly.
Well, every crisis is an open door.
- Hmm.
- [SIGHS]
Let me lead.
[CROONERBOT] Don't be shy, folks.
May we cut in? [CHUCKLES]
Um Oh.
I did a summer of
ballroom with my mother,
so my hand placements are
gonna be totally by the book.
Cheers, folks.
Um, hey, future corrupt
politicians of America.
Uh, who wants 50 for
their jacket and tie, huh?
Look, I'm losing my girl to some
balding snob in loafers in there.
[STAMMERS] Seventy-five.
Seventy-five bucks, huh?
This was my confirmation suit, man.
[SIGHS] All right, how about
five to swig the bottle. Please?
Just have some, I feel bad for you.
Thank you.
[BETTY] Oh, you're a great dancer, Joey.
And such a good sport.
- Thanks.
- [CHUCKLES]
Why?
Most people would blame Jack.
But you're not mad at all. [CHUCKLES]
Blame Jack for what?
[JACK] Excuse me, pal.
- I've been looking for her. [CHUCKLES]
- [CHUCKLES] Of course.
[CHUCKLES]
Hey, we're clear to sell. Joey's fine.
- Back on track.
- Nothing's on track, Jack.
We shouldn't be here.
- [SIGHS]
- And this thing with Jenkins is
Don't make it the end
of the world, Shirl.
I'll call him tomorrow.
We'll work it out.
- It's gonna be absolutely fine.
- You got no idea.
Look.
I mean, I thought it was odd.
Day off yesterday.
Being told not to close.
Your, um, legal situation? [CHUCKLES]
So, I made a few calls.
You'd be amazed what you can find out
with a little stick-to-it. [CHUCKLES]
[CHUCKLES]
What do you think he means?
That you might have some
trouble coming your way,
and I'm supposed to ship him every
piece of company paperwork I've got?
Jesus. [STAMMERS]
- I guess he's got it in for me, but
- What for?
- [STAMMERS, SIGHS]
- And why does it seem
like he's covering something up?
I figured Jack told you all about
the court order halting sales.
I mean, he's your boss, right?
Uh, no, he didn't.
Oh. [CHUCKLES]
Well, I'm sure he wanted
to, and it slipped his mind.
[CLICKS TONGUE] Too bad you
had to do all the suffering.
And he never even explained why.
All I did was tell him
about the tax guy, and I
Let me talk to him.
If you go over my head like that,
I'll be taking shit for weeks.
You're not gonna be working here in
weeks if we don't figure this out.
And since he's been
ducking all your calls
and writing these shady letters to me,
I say let me handle it.
Okay. You're right.
I guess you better call him.
That's his lunar-link there. Thank you.
[SIGHS]
- Mr. Billings.
- [CHUCKLES] Jack.
- Jack.
- [CHUCKLES]
A plain, honest name.
Trustworthy.
Must be useful in your line of work.
Well, some things are more important.
I bet you have those too.
You dance?
Sometimes.
[JACK] You ever consider
going up there yourself?
I don't do long flights.
Especially when I'm not
sure what's at the other end.
Aw.
But those are the best kind.
You know, seeing people want something
the way all these cows
want what you have,
I get this
itch.
Scratch it with an A-Plex.
- Our finest.
- [CHUCKLES]
I don't buy one of anything.
I'd better see if I
can count higher then.
[JOEY] Hey, Jack?
- Would you excuse me a moment?
- Mm-hmm.
Well, it was nearly fun, Jack.
[SIGHS] What's wrong, Joe?
Why can't you just tell me the truth?
What are you talking about?
We weren't allowed to sell, right?
Yeah, and then you just came in,
pretended to save the day. Jack!
I got you out of there,
didn't I? Hey. Look, all right,
if this was a big deal, it'd
be a bigger deal, all right?
It was a big deal to me.
[SIGHS]
[OPERATOR] Are you sure
that's the number, hon?
Yeah. It's right here. Try
again, it's an emergency.
Hold on, let me check on something.
Oh. Sorry, sweetie. That
line's been disconnected.
What? When?
Looks like just this morning.
And it's not even a lunar exchange, hon.
Are you sure about all of that?
Aw, you poor thing.
Did he try to tell you
he was up on the moon?
[BEEPS]
It's cold outside, so let's all
feel the heat of the cha-cha-cha.
- Whoo!
- [GUESTS CHEERING]
[BOTH GRUNTING]
Cha-cha-cha!
- No, I'm just looking for Jack.
- And here, you found me. [CHUCKLES]
Oh, geez, Shirley.
[STAMMERS] What are you doing?
Oh Hey!
- Oh, God.
- Come on, come on. Go on.
Hey, it's really great to see you again.
[BETTY] Jack and Joey are on the outs.
Ooh. Could be the beginning of a
spiral for him. Like a breakdown.
Which happens with salesmen.
Especially without family
to support and inspire them.
[CHUCKLES]
Oh!
Speaking of inspiration
Oh, wow. [CHUCKLES] I'm sorry. Let
me do the state capitals. [CHUCKLES]
[WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY]
We're on a sinking ship, Jack.
Jenkins was never on the moon.
What?
That number you gave me was rerouted.
[STAMMERS] From where?
To the goddamn Earth, Jack.
And now he's gone, split and
cut the line. Who does that?
- I don't know, but
- Where'd you meet him?
[STAMMERS, SIGHS] Come on,
Shirl, life is too short.
- Where'd you meet him?
- I met him at some diner in SpringVille,
and he damn near saved my
life giving me this chance.
What do you think? That
he's skimming off our sales?
No. I think he picked you
to make him a fortune and
get stuck holding the bag.
I mean, all I ever saw was a local
office with a girl out front, but
There's nothing up there, Jack.
That's why launches keep getting pushed.
- No, tha That's not
- He played you.
And you didn't know
it, but you played me.
And we played everyone we ever sold.
God.
You got one hell of
a mind on you, Shirl.
[EDDIE GRUNTING]
- [RECORD SCRATCHING]
- [GUEST CLAMORING]
Shir Shir
Uh, excuse me, Shirley Louise Stedman.
I love you. I don't care
who knows it. I love you.
And you make my whole stupid
mess of a life worth it.
And I am going to give you
the I'm giving her the moon!
I'm Shirley, I'm yours.
Just forever and Ah, shit.
- Come on.
- Come on.
- Get off the stage.
- You get off of me.
- Come here. Come here.
- Come on, this guy!
- Hey!
- [GUESTS CLAMORING]
Herbie!
[GASPING, SQUEALS]
[SIGHS]
[BEEPS]
[CASSMASTER] Your meal
is ready. Bon appétit.
My dinner's burnt.
Oh. Hey, lady. No reason to get
upset. I'll get you a refund easy.
A refund?
Yeah.
[LAUGHING, BREATHING HEAVILY]
I don't want a fucking refund,
I want the casserole that I paid for!
- Jesus.
- My whole life, I bought it all.
All the bullshit,
everything I didn't need.
For my house, my hair,
my my waste of a marriage.
And you know what?
The truth is
[LAUGHING]
it's all fucking lies.
You push a button, and what comes out?
[CHUCKLES]
A plate of charred shit.
"Makes whites whiter."
Lies!
"Help yourself to some happiness."
Lies!
Be an obedient fucking housewife,
and your scumbag husband
won't cheat on you
with some stupid, tramp typist!
Lie, lie, lie, lie!
Lady, enough! Please!
[PANTING]
I don't want a fucking refund.
I want the truth. [BREATHES HEAVILY]
Or I will burn this
whole place to the ground.
Shred.
[SHREDDER WHIRRING]
It's the rules, Crystal.
And our job to follow them.
We know what happens when we don't.
[SIGHS] I'm sorry.
I promised you I'd do better.
But she needs help. [GRUNTS]
[SIGHING]
[SHIRLEY] Picked a rough
week to give my notice.
[CHUCKLES]
Well [CHUCKLES]
it's good we figured it out
before you and Ed got too far along.
Yeah. I'll deal with that
once he sleeps it off.
- [SIGHS]
- Hey.
I get it.
If you need out now, I'll find a way.
No. We'll find the way.
We better.
Or we're pretty bad fucking people.
We'll find a way.
You and me.
[HANK] We're here.
- This ain't it.
- [ENGINE SHUTS OFF]
Can't be.
[STAMMERS, CHUCKLES]
Unless we got the date wrong.
- Uh
- [CHUCKLES]
- [BANG]
- [GASPS]
- [GUNSHOT FIRES]
- Fuck.
Get the hell gone or get shot.
We're here for the launch, mister.
What launch?
Who said there was a launch?
Jack. Jack Billings?
You We're we're
headed for the moon.
Son of a
["BLUE MOON" PLAYING ON RADIO]
How much longer, Pa?
Should get there by tonight, I reckon.
And then blast off to our new life.
You sure I'll like it up there?
Well, they got everything you
like down here, only better.
That's what Jack said.
[MUSIC STOPS]
One-and-a-half baths.
Two sinks in the master.
His, hers, side by side. Bing bang.
I'll talk to Jack today. Make
sure we're on the next launch.
Ooh, you say "launch"
again, and I am a puddle.
[CHUCKLES]
- Launch.
- Uh-huh, and I'm a puddle.
- [RETCHING]
- [WATER SPLASHING]
I could share this moment with you
by holding your hair
like in the baby book.
No, Herbie, this is my job.
You go do yours by
selling us up to the top.
[RETCHING]
[RETCHING]
[COUGHS, EXHALES DEEPLY]
It's time you know something, Joe.
Uh, well, maybe maybe past time.
I couldn't be happier to
have you as my son. [CHUCKLES]
"Have you"?
[KNOCKS ON DOOR]
Be right there, Jack.
As a "sudorbinate" of the court.
I hold you, Joseph Shorter,
in contempt for sales in
violation of court order F6-B.
[JOEY] W What is this?
[STAMMERS] What's going on?
Compulsory Questioning Prompt C.
[OFFICERBOT] You're wanted
for questioning.
Please proceed peacefully
to the questioning location.
Just our club's little seasonal mixer,
but no shortage of sharp
money minds there, Jack.
Got 'em thinking Lunar
Residential is a great investment.
[CHUCKLING] And I am not taking "No."
- [SHIRLEY] Too bad we can't sell.
- So, see you and yours tonight.
All right, well, let's just
grab as many leads as we can.
We'll go back and sell them
when this legal thing clears.
Yeah, I'm still hounding
accounting on that.
So [SIGHS] how'd
Joey take the news?
[SIGHS] Telling him tonight.
[CHUCKLES] All in the timing, right?
Mmm.
Well, turns out I got
something to tell you too.
[SIGHS] So Ed's been saving up,
and he got himself a nice B-Plex.
[STAMMERS] Oh.
I'm heading up there with him.
[CHUCKLING] Wow.
Wow.
Shirley [CLICKS TONGUE]
that's incredible!
I had a hunch about you two.
Oh, I thought we hid
it better than that.
Hope we can squeeze
into the next launch.
Oh, of course.
Of course. Whoa, you two are
gonna love it up there. [CHUCKLES]
- You've been good to me, Jack.
- [JACK CHUCKLES]
[SIGHS] Well, I can't
pretend I'll ever replace you.
Don't get all weepy yet.
[CHUCKLES] Hey, uh,
when you get up there,
give those pinheads in
accounting hell for me, okay?
And, uh, let me know what
HQ looks like. I'm curious.
What?
- What?
- You've never been up there?
I told you that, Shirley.
My family there wasn't
[STAMMERS, SIGHS]
Don't rake me over the
coals about it again.
Right.
Anyway, thanks for riding HQ
for those forms that we needed.
I've been calling Jenkins
and getting nowhere.
Yeah, he's just been
allergic to the phone
ever since we hit that
snag with the county.
- [SIGHS] Christ.
- What timing, huh?
Not like him.
[SHIRLEY SCOFFS]
- No, no, it's
- [SIGHS]
just business. You expect
it to run smooth? [CHUCKLES]
I don't get it [STUTTERS]
did we do something wrong?
Clearly.
The extent is what we're
currently determining.
[BEEPS]
Deposition 1A.
Defendant Joseph Shorter,
junior sales associate.
Violation 546.L3,
Brightside "corportation."
How long am I gonna be here?
Statutory limits allow
16 hours detainment
in the interests of
rigor and thoroughness.
There's a great new
market for me to excel in
- at the Country Club mixer tonight.
- [GASPS]
That sounds fancy. I've
got the perfect dress.
Oh, I think it might just
be for salespeople, Bun Bun.
Mmm, I'm your wife. [CHUCKLES]
Anything for you, I'm included.
Automatic. Those are the rules.
Perfect.
And all the selling should go even
better than usual with Joey in jail.
Sadly.
Oh. Oh?
I know. Try so hard to
see the good in people,
but what good is a person that
lives a double life as
a deplorable criminal?
So, what did Jack say about it?
Nah, I think it's best
that he doesn't know.
And that way, Joey can face
his consequences alone and grow.
- Mmm.
- Even if that does mean
he misses this evening's
great opportunity.
I don't know, Herbie.
What if [CHUCKLES]
Jack being angry with him,
maybe even taking away his job,
is exactly the consequence
Joey needs to face?
I just want you to take
the high road here, Herbie.
- You're right.
- [CHUCKLING]
- You're my rock.
- [GIGGLES]
- All three of you. My rocks. [CHUCKLES]
- [CHUCKLES]
From the desk, meh
- Urgent.
- [BEEPING]
From the desk of Stanley
Jenkins, Lunar HQ.
To Miss Shirley Stedman.
Ed, you ever wonder if the moon's
not all it's cracked up to be?
Well, most things aren't.
But also, if it's you and me, then
what's better than that, right?
Right?
This isn't about your
domestic past, is it?
Which you have repeatedly
called a lost cause, I might add.
No, no, no. I've made
my peace with that.
I was just just
talking about up there.
Just thinking it out. [SIGHS]
Talking and thinking, Shirley,
that's a lethal combination
when we've got a future to embrace.
I'll embrace it when we get there.
Miss Shirley Stedman,
please. Miss Shirley Stedman.
What? What is it?
'Cause if it's more talking and
thinking, I'm not sure I'm in the mood.
Sure.
Shirl. Shirley.
[STAMMERS] It's a new day for us!
Can't just dip a toe in and
get halfway pregnant, huh?
[SIGHS]
And you have no knowledge who
could provide necessary records
of "incorportation," taxpayer
IDs, or tabulated gross receipts.
I-I don't even know what those
are. All All I do is sell.
They're figures, Mr. Shorter,
which "costitute" the
entity's legal standing.
[STAMMERS] Jack's gotta
know about all that.
He deals with HQ every day.
He's your direct superior?
Yeah, yeah. Jack Billings. Aw,
he's he's a great guy. Really.
Just talk to him. He'll
clear everything up, I'm sure.
[PEN WRITING]
That's not gonna get him in
trouble, me saying his name, right?
Look sharp, kid. Wheels up in
five. Your girl's waiting for ya.
Good evening, sir.
Joey! [CHUCKLING] You with me here, Joe?
- We need to talk.
- Hey, you seen Joey? He's gonna be late.
He's a big boy, Dad. He'll be there.
Heard anything from Jenkins?
Yes, I left word. Told him it was
urgent. We'll get it all sorted.
He sent me this.
Jack.
You'll be glad to know because
the truth is always best,
no matter how difficult.
Joey has been taken by
the authorities, sadly.
Oh, uh [STAMMERS]
okay, uh, I'll handle
it. [STAMMERS] Uh, yeah.
Probably nothing, right?
Right, right, right.
You guys just get to the
club. Warm up the room.
Whatever this is, it can wait.
Yeah, you just go take
care of, uh, Joey. [SIGHS]
[SOFTLY] Okay.
- I I think I already told you that.
- [DOOR OPENS]
All right, all right. [SIGHS]
We're done here, Agent Costopoulos.
Come on, Joe. Let's get you out of here.
That's great work, pal.
Crucifying an honest goddamn
salesman over paperwork.
What a big man.
[JOEY] Thanks, Jack.
What for? You're the one who
had to put up with all that.
- How long did he have you in there?
- [JOEY SIGHS] All day.
I didn't honestly really know
- much of what he was asking about.
- That's all a bunch of nothing.
A couple of forms the geniuses
at HQ forgot to send in.
I let him have it.
They snapped right to.
- He try to scare you a little?
- Pulled that off pretty good.
Couldn't help but think what my mom
was gonna do if I got in trouble.
- It was awful, Jack.
- Hey, but you took it like a pro.
That's all that counts. Herb
would've chewed through his tie.
[CLICKS TONGUE] Yeah, don't worry.
I won't make a habit out of
you bailing me out like this.
Not your fault.
Not any of ours. Not for a minute.
- [CHUCKLES] There you go.
- [CHUCKLES]
Hey, let's get over there.
Your suit's in the car,
- and your girl's saving her first dance.
- [CHUCKLES]
In a room full of pretty
deep pockets, right?
- [JACK CHUCKLES]
- [JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
[CHUCKLES]
[CROONERBOT] Having a good
night, folks? I know I am.
[PHYLLIS] Excuse me.
- Bonsoir.
- Hey. [CHUCKLES]
Hey. Glad you guys made it.
Thanks. Jack and Joey will be here soon.
Call ran long with some developers.
Hmm, sounds important. Cheers.
Cheers.
[PHYLLIS] Easy sales tonight.
They're all rich and drunk.
Phil Montez.
I'm sure Jack warned you
that there would be dancing.
Who says you can't mix
business with pleasure?
Welcome, guests. Enjoy
the Autumnal Mixer.
I'm Herbert's plus-one. [CHUCKLES]
He gets one, they told us.
We're married, and expecting.
- Enjoy your evening.
- Welcome, guests.
- Enjoy the Autumnal Mixer.
- How are ya?
With apologies.
Our club's dress code prohibits
suiting with embellished trim.
And while there's no mandate against,
we actively discourage wide lapels.
But that's discriminatory
versus good taste, isn't it?
It's tradition.
Look, my girlfriend's in there with
the fucking cardigan brigade, okay?
She needs me. All right,
okay, all right, okay! Okay.
[VALETBOT] Welcome, guests.
Enjoy the Autumnal Mixer.
[MYRTLE] So you just let him go?
Management was able to provide
copies of "revelant" documentation,
rendering the
"oringinating" case closed.
- Show me. Maybe we can use it.
- But that's county property, Mrs. Mayburn.
Which I'm "oglibated" by
protocol to destroy promptly.
What fucking good is protocol
if it doesn't help anybody?
This system is the "culnimation"
of thousands of years of human history.
Generations of civil servants
dedicating their time and labor.
It's It's bigger than
you or me, Mrs. Mayburn.
And it's better that way.
Please.
I know you wanna help. And you can.
[BREATHES SHAKILY]
Your contract guarantees a refund.
God, not if I walked out on everything.
Halfway burned down the house
Oh. I hope it was properly insured.
I'm so
[SIGHS]
Take the refund.
Wow.
[WHISTLES] That's a warm room.
I bet I could close three.
You think you can top that?
Well, you know, back in the war
- I never backed down from a challenge.
- [CHUCKLES]
Oh, hey.
Well, go take her for a spin.
Let the world know you're a wanted man.
Thanks again, Jack.
You count on it.
What a night. How's everyone doing?
Hi.
[EDDIE] Oh, my God.
That was fast, Shirley.
Goddamn it.
[JACK] Well, you're gonna
love your new A-Plex.
[PEG] I'm sure I will.
- Hey, sweetheart.
- Yes?
Uh, who is that over there?
That tramp slept her way
into Norm Selwyn's fortune.
May he rest in peace.
- Hmm.
- This is her goddamn club now,
and mostly her town.
But good Lord, I'd kill to
have her figure. [CHUCKLES]
Herbie, this is where we belong.
There's Joey.
He rehabilitated pretty quickly.
Well, every crisis is an open door.
- Hmm.
- [SIGHS]
Let me lead.
[CROONERBOT] Don't be shy, folks.
May we cut in? [CHUCKLES]
Um Oh.
I did a summer of
ballroom with my mother,
so my hand placements are
gonna be totally by the book.
Cheers, folks.
Um, hey, future corrupt
politicians of America.
Uh, who wants 50 for
their jacket and tie, huh?
Look, I'm losing my girl to some
balding snob in loafers in there.
[STAMMERS] Seventy-five.
Seventy-five bucks, huh?
This was my confirmation suit, man.
[SIGHS] All right, how about
five to swig the bottle. Please?
Just have some, I feel bad for you.
Thank you.
[BETTY] Oh, you're a great dancer, Joey.
And such a good sport.
- Thanks.
- [CHUCKLES]
Why?
Most people would blame Jack.
But you're not mad at all. [CHUCKLES]
Blame Jack for what?
[JACK] Excuse me, pal.
- I've been looking for her. [CHUCKLES]
- [CHUCKLES] Of course.
[CHUCKLES]
Hey, we're clear to sell. Joey's fine.
- Back on track.
- Nothing's on track, Jack.
We shouldn't be here.
- [SIGHS]
- And this thing with Jenkins is
Don't make it the end
of the world, Shirl.
I'll call him tomorrow.
We'll work it out.
- It's gonna be absolutely fine.
- You got no idea.
Look.
I mean, I thought it was odd.
Day off yesterday.
Being told not to close.
Your, um, legal situation? [CHUCKLES]
So, I made a few calls.
You'd be amazed what you can find out
with a little stick-to-it. [CHUCKLES]
[CHUCKLES]
What do you think he means?
That you might have some
trouble coming your way,
and I'm supposed to ship him every
piece of company paperwork I've got?
Jesus. [STAMMERS]
- I guess he's got it in for me, but
- What for?
- [STAMMERS, SIGHS]
- And why does it seem
like he's covering something up?
I figured Jack told you all about
the court order halting sales.
I mean, he's your boss, right?
Uh, no, he didn't.
Oh. [CHUCKLES]
Well, I'm sure he wanted
to, and it slipped his mind.
[CLICKS TONGUE] Too bad you
had to do all the suffering.
And he never even explained why.
All I did was tell him
about the tax guy, and I
Let me talk to him.
If you go over my head like that,
I'll be taking shit for weeks.
You're not gonna be working here in
weeks if we don't figure this out.
And since he's been
ducking all your calls
and writing these shady letters to me,
I say let me handle it.
Okay. You're right.
I guess you better call him.
That's his lunar-link there. Thank you.
[SIGHS]
- Mr. Billings.
- [CHUCKLES] Jack.
- Jack.
- [CHUCKLES]
A plain, honest name.
Trustworthy.
Must be useful in your line of work.
Well, some things are more important.
I bet you have those too.
You dance?
Sometimes.
[JACK] You ever consider
going up there yourself?
I don't do long flights.
Especially when I'm not
sure what's at the other end.
Aw.
But those are the best kind.
You know, seeing people want something
the way all these cows
want what you have,
I get this
itch.
Scratch it with an A-Plex.
- Our finest.
- [CHUCKLES]
I don't buy one of anything.
I'd better see if I
can count higher then.
[JOEY] Hey, Jack?
- Would you excuse me a moment?
- Mm-hmm.
Well, it was nearly fun, Jack.
[SIGHS] What's wrong, Joe?
Why can't you just tell me the truth?
What are you talking about?
We weren't allowed to sell, right?
Yeah, and then you just came in,
pretended to save the day. Jack!
I got you out of there,
didn't I? Hey. Look, all right,
if this was a big deal, it'd
be a bigger deal, all right?
It was a big deal to me.
[SIGHS]
[OPERATOR] Are you sure
that's the number, hon?
Yeah. It's right here. Try
again, it's an emergency.
Hold on, let me check on something.
Oh. Sorry, sweetie. That
line's been disconnected.
What? When?
Looks like just this morning.
And it's not even a lunar exchange, hon.
Are you sure about all of that?
Aw, you poor thing.
Did he try to tell you
he was up on the moon?
[BEEPS]
It's cold outside, so let's all
feel the heat of the cha-cha-cha.
- Whoo!
- [GUESTS CHEERING]
[BOTH GRUNTING]
Cha-cha-cha!
- No, I'm just looking for Jack.
- And here, you found me. [CHUCKLES]
Oh, geez, Shirley.
[STAMMERS] What are you doing?
Oh Hey!
- Oh, God.
- Come on, come on. Go on.
Hey, it's really great to see you again.
[BETTY] Jack and Joey are on the outs.
Ooh. Could be the beginning of a
spiral for him. Like a breakdown.
Which happens with salesmen.
Especially without family
to support and inspire them.
[CHUCKLES]
Oh!
Speaking of inspiration
Oh, wow. [CHUCKLES] I'm sorry. Let
me do the state capitals. [CHUCKLES]
[WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY]
We're on a sinking ship, Jack.
Jenkins was never on the moon.
What?
That number you gave me was rerouted.
[STAMMERS] From where?
To the goddamn Earth, Jack.
And now he's gone, split and
cut the line. Who does that?
- I don't know, but
- Where'd you meet him?
[STAMMERS, SIGHS] Come on,
Shirl, life is too short.
- Where'd you meet him?
- I met him at some diner in SpringVille,
and he damn near saved my
life giving me this chance.
What do you think? That
he's skimming off our sales?
No. I think he picked you
to make him a fortune and
get stuck holding the bag.
I mean, all I ever saw was a local
office with a girl out front, but
There's nothing up there, Jack.
That's why launches keep getting pushed.
- No, tha That's not
- He played you.
And you didn't know
it, but you played me.
And we played everyone we ever sold.
God.
You got one hell of
a mind on you, Shirl.
[EDDIE GRUNTING]
- [RECORD SCRATCHING]
- [GUEST CLAMORING]
Shir Shir
Uh, excuse me, Shirley Louise Stedman.
I love you. I don't care
who knows it. I love you.
And you make my whole stupid
mess of a life worth it.
And I am going to give you
the I'm giving her the moon!
I'm Shirley, I'm yours.
Just forever and Ah, shit.
- Come on.
- Come on.
- Get off the stage.
- You get off of me.
- Come here. Come here.
- Come on, this guy!
- Hey!
- [GUESTS CLAMORING]
Herbie!
[GASPING, SQUEALS]
[SIGHS]
[BEEPS]
[CASSMASTER] Your meal
is ready. Bon appétit.
My dinner's burnt.
Oh. Hey, lady. No reason to get
upset. I'll get you a refund easy.
A refund?
Yeah.
[LAUGHING, BREATHING HEAVILY]
I don't want a fucking refund,
I want the casserole that I paid for!
- Jesus.
- My whole life, I bought it all.
All the bullshit,
everything I didn't need.
For my house, my hair,
my my waste of a marriage.
And you know what?
The truth is
[LAUGHING]
it's all fucking lies.
You push a button, and what comes out?
[CHUCKLES]
A plate of charred shit.
"Makes whites whiter."
Lies!
"Help yourself to some happiness."
Lies!
Be an obedient fucking housewife,
and your scumbag husband
won't cheat on you
with some stupid, tramp typist!
Lie, lie, lie, lie!
Lady, enough! Please!
[PANTING]
I don't want a fucking refund.
I want the truth. [BREATHES HEAVILY]
Or I will burn this
whole place to the ground.
Shred.
[SHREDDER WHIRRING]
It's the rules, Crystal.
And our job to follow them.
We know what happens when we don't.
[SIGHS] I'm sorry.
I promised you I'd do better.
But she needs help. [GRUNTS]
[SIGHING]
[SHIRLEY] Picked a rough
week to give my notice.
[CHUCKLES]
Well [CHUCKLES]
it's good we figured it out
before you and Ed got too far along.
Yeah. I'll deal with that
once he sleeps it off.
- [SIGHS]
- Hey.
I get it.
If you need out now, I'll find a way.
No. We'll find the way.
We better.
Or we're pretty bad fucking people.
We'll find a way.
You and me.
[HANK] We're here.
- This ain't it.
- [ENGINE SHUTS OFF]
Can't be.
[STAMMERS, CHUCKLES]
Unless we got the date wrong.
- Uh
- [CHUCKLES]
- [BANG]
- [GASPS]
- [GUNSHOT FIRES]
- Fuck.
Get the hell gone or get shot.
We're here for the launch, mister.
What launch?
Who said there was a launch?
Jack. Jack Billings?
You We're we're
headed for the moon.
Son of a